As promised, Abbot Loumen, had everyone up all the earlier the following morning. None of us got much sleep; there was this sense of dread and loss permeating all through the Abbey since last night. The guards seemed in a hurry to go, demanding food and other provisions for the journey back to Berlint. Apparently it would take us three days on horseback to get there. Yippie.
While the wagon was being loaded up, the Mother-Abbess, Father-Abbot, and my Sisters said their goodbyes. I hugged each of my Sisters, then the Madame, who held me for an extra-long minute. When she eventually pulled back, her expression was solemn and serious; her fingers squeezing my shoulders. "Now remember, my dear, young child. You are a daughter of God, and you are to always behave as such. The court of the of Forbidden City is nothing like you've ever experienced before. You must NOT allow yourself to be led astray." "I won't, Mother-Abbess," I nodded obediently. "Keep your virtue and above all else, never lose face. You will be even the strength to endure whatever comes your way." "Yes, Mother-Abbess." Then she gave me one last hug before passing me off to Abbot Loumen. He already had tears in the corners of his eyes when we embraced. He had never cradled me that close before; his arms were trembling, his voice shaky.
"Please… Take care of yourself, Maomao." "I will, Father-Abbot," I cooed softly. "Oh, how I shall miss you…. How I shall miss my little girl." "I will always be with. My love stays with you, and your love goes with me. There shall never be a day when I don't pray for your good health," I told him, feeling a few tears land on my shoulder, seeping through the fabric. "How can God be so cruel….. Giving us such a lovely daughter and student…. Only to rip her away so cruelly?" "You must not say such things, Father-Abbot. At least I will have the strength to bear it; He has given me that." "Yes….. Yes, you're right; He has. And I pray that we might be reunited again one day, my sweet Maomao. I pray that there will come a day…. when you come back to me."
"Alright, enough already! Let's get going!" The red guard hollered at us. "Goodbye, Maomao!" My Sisters all cried, waving frantically at me as I walked toward the carriage. "My thoughts, love, and prayers are with you all!" I called back, waving until I reached the soldiers. The red guard sneered down at me, evidently unimpressed with the gown I was wearing.
"Is that the best you could do?" "The Abbey gave me this dress, and I'm very grateful for it. It would be improper for me to wear anything more…. immodest," I frowned and he rolled his eyes. Then he opened the carriage door, revealing a tiny seat with barely any leg room. "Get in," he ordered under his breath. I looked from the inside of the ride to him, a bit taken aback and not really wanting to cram myself in, but he was having none of it, sneering again. "What? You think you're worthy of more space? More luxury? You'll take what's given to you. If it's good enough for the maidservants, then it's good enough for you. Now, for the last time, get in, or I'll show you how we treat insubordination in the palace."
Welp, that was good enough for me! I hopped on in, without any help or assistance from him. He slammed the door shut behind me, effectively trapping me inside this tiny, wooden box. There was no padding on the walls; only the seat. The windows were sort of nice, carved in the shape of a curvy diamond point upward. I was able to see a bit of the outside, watching the scenery as we moved along. The two windows, one on each side, were constructed in such a way as to shield me from onlookers rather than block the world from my view. The Madame did say that the Emperor greatly valued chastity and purity in his concubines; I guess that extended to the ladies-in-waiting and maidservants in the Harem.
The journey wasn't horrendous but not particularly enjoyable either. The guards didn't speak, even to each other, most of the way; just stoically staring onward as we went. On occasion they'd yell at this poor farmer or traveller to get out of their way, but I didn't see them attack anyone. They acted indifferent to me, either outright ignoring me or making crude remarks whenever the topic of me did come up. That first night I was fasting, which amused the guards. "Can you imagine willingly depriving yourself of food or water? You religious nuts are a bunch of idiots," one of the other two guards snorted. "Fasting brings us closer to God. It reminds us of our need for God, and our total dependence on Him," I stated. The men rolled their eyes, chugging down their wine and eating their fish and bread. "The only one a citizen of Ostania needs to depend on is the Emperor, or at least needs to be in his good graces anyway. But go on and starve; you're only hurting yourself," the red guard spat and I said nothing, pressing the palms of my hands tight together.
It took three days of riding, and two nights of rest, to finally reach the imperial city. You could tell when we were getting close. The air grew thicker, there was more sound and buzzing around, the roads became more well-worn, and the houses and buildings changed from wood and yellow stone, like what the Abbey was made of, to grey stone and polished marble.
The city of Berlint was huge; I'd never seen anything like it before. Endless rows of streets and dwellings. People dressed more finely here than in the villages. Shop windows were made of glass, and many walls were painted. There were two sets of gates: a huge pair right on the edge of the city, letting travellers in and out of the city walls. Within the city was another wall, though this one obviously smaller. You could barely see the top of the palace from it, they were that high, and glistening pearl white like they had been polished by hand. The gate to this wall, smaller than the first, was green with gold nails, bolts, and bars. The carriage only stopped momentarily in front of it before they slowly opened just wide enough for us to be let inside. They closed immediately once we were scarcely in. That was the first time I saw the royal palace, and I was shocked by its enormity and affluence. Well now I see where all the kingdom's wealth is going toward. The Emperor isn't using his riches to feed his people or help improve his citizens' lives; it's to upkeep this great, big castle.
The carriage pulled up to an entrance I'm pretty sure wasn't the main entrance; it was too small for a place this great. This must be the entrance to the imperial harem, I rationalised as the door keeping me confined in here was suddenly opened. The red guard glared at me gruffly, holding the door open expectantly.
"Get out," was his tart order. I obeyed and he shut the door behind me. Meanwhile, one of the dual doors opened to reveal a noble-looking man dressed in very fancy clothes and with something on his head I'd never seen before. He appeared cold and distant, glaring down at me with low, narrow eyes. "Is this the apothecary?" "Yes, sire. She's the one the Emperor sent for," the red guard replied and the nobleman nodded. "Very well. Come here, girl." Again, I did as I was told, and the guards and carriage then took off. Still watching me, the nobleman stepped aside so I could enter. "Come," he instructed and I passed through the threshold.
Effectively leaving my whole old life behind me.