Lady Lihua's ladies-in-waiting were starting to get impatient, demanding that they be permitted to come see her. But I kept them at bay through Gaoshun; since I hadn't told anyone about my suspicions of lead poisoning from the face makeup they used and put onto their lady, I didn't want to start any rumours and risk anything I shouldn't. Plus it was easier for me to keep the room clean if it was just the three of us.
Little by little, Lady Lihua's and the infant princess's strength began to return. When the lady could walk a bit easier, we made trips to the bathhouse and sauna every day. It was always just the three of us…. or so I thought.
The harem bathhouse was incredible. It was like this mini, marble palace at the front of the Inner Court where only ladies could enter; not even eunuchs were allowed inside. There were white, polished columns lined in a circle, surrounding the bath, which had a three-story fountain in the middle. The walls had paintings of naked girls and nymphs, dancing and playing instruments in a sort of storyboard setting somewhere in the forest. Gold lined the walls and ceiling edges, along with blue titles. Plants and ivy hung down from above, giving the place a very exotic, other-worldly feeling. The water was always warm, and typically perfumed with oils and rose petals, but I asked for pure bathing water so to improve their health.
We had a daily ritual. I'd undress the princess, then help Lady Lihua undress. Then I'd take off my own clothes and help her step into the bathtub while holding the baby in my other arm. There were places to sit in the water, so we could stay in there a long time. While the lady would just sit there, resting as she should do, I'd clean her and the princess with a fresh cloth, making sure to wash quickly myself before I did so. I'd take care to clean their arms, legs, torso, neck, face, and every other day their hair; washing Lady Lihua's hair was a whole process since it was so thick and long and took forever to dry.
We didn't talk during these trips to the bathhouse. For the most part, the lady just sat there with her eyes closed, breathing heavily. She wasn't what I thought a concubine would be like; Lady Gyokuyou seemed to fit more of the picture I had in my mind of what a consort in the royal Harem was. Not that I saw her much either. She came by every once and a while to check on her daughter, but as per my request, she never entered the room, just pausing outside the door to stare at the child longingly. I could already tell thought that she probably wasn't usually like this; she seemed to be more spirited when times were better, I'd hazard a guess. Not Lady Lihua, though. She was quiet, reserved- even when she wasn't wasting away from lead poisoning. She was actually a pretty decent person, I'd come to learn.
Life here in the Harem wasn't at all like I imagined it to be either. I never saw the Emperor once so far; it was like he never entered the Inner Court at all. There were LOTS of girls he'd acquired over the years, but they weren't around either- I didn't see them anyway. Granted I was cloistered in one room with two sick people, and Gaoshun made sure to tell everyone to keep away so to keep the area purified….. And most listened, if you catch my drift.
Apparently the way the Harem worked was that the Emperor had the most beautiful women brought to the palace, some as young as twelve, though he apparently wouldn't touch them until they were older. Once a girl arrived, they were effectively his slave, which served him well. Since all the women, even the Empress, were slave girls, they had less rights over their children. Emperors procreated with these slaves to one, ensure that there would be a male heir and plenty of spares, and two, to prevent a civil war breaking out in his kingdom. If he married a nobleman's daughter who was free, that would mean her family has some claim to the throne by her son. To avoid any of that, the Emperor refused to marry a free woman, choosing instead to take hundreds of concubines and ladies-in-waiting, all ready for his beckon call. And I do mean hundreds: I didn't know this, but past Emperors had up to six hundred women in their Harems. Rumour had it that this Emperor wanted seven hundred. But at the moment, he only had a hundred and twenty-six. Where they all lived, and how the palace was able to sustain so many women, who knows.
By some miracle, we were able to use the bathhouse just the three of us. I guess the Emperor must have ordered it, which led me to believe that he REALLY wanted to save Lady Lihua's life; I doubt he cared much for his daughter. If he had any concern for her, it would have been for Lady Gyokuyou's sake. I didn't understand how the bathhouse truly worked at that time, or what it was actually for- hint, not the girls getting clean- so I was able to work in relative peace… Until one day when Lady Lihua opened her eyes, silently observing me standing in the centre of the pool by the fountain. It was one of those rare moments I had to myself, giving me time to think….. Think about my family. She watched me cup some water in my hands, lifting it up to my face so I could see my reflection in it. Once I did, my lips trembled slightly, my fingers quivering.
"Sisters…. Father-Abbot. I miss you…. I miss you so much," I whispered to myself. Then I lifted my hands up to pour the water over my face, wetting my hair in the process. The drops of water hid my tears as I just held my chin up in that position for a minute, keeping my eyes shut and thinking about nothing but them…. Them. Lady Lihua remained quiet for one more minute before gently parting her lips.
"Apothecary?" I looked to her as she wheezed, but I didn't verbally reply; I felt she was ready to say more, which she did immediately, lowering her eyes, almost remorsefully so. "I should tell you…. A window overlooks this bathhouse…. so his majesty might watch us bathe," she admitted and I felt everything inside me drop. My head instantly shot upward to find said window, but I couldn't pinpoint it exactly; the room was built in such a way that outsiders from above could look in without our ever knowing. But I did know now, and the sickening, sinking realization hit that the Emperor might have seen us…. He might have seen me, naked like this…. Suddenly feeling dizzy and overwhelmed, I dunked my whole body under water, only to come up for air and clean myself from head-to-toe….. Knowing all the while that he was watching; I'd never seen him before, but he could and did see me, and there was nothing I could do about it. My only hope was that Emperor wasn't too impressed with what he saw.
Oh boy, was I wrong.
A silent eunuch helped Lady Lihua walk back to the room while I carried the princess in my arms. No one said anything; I was still feeling pretty disgusted inside. Master Jinshi must have noticed this when he and Gaoshun wordlessly passed us in the hall. It didn't take him long to put the pieces together; our hair was still wet and we were coming from the direction of the bathhouse. Not in the mood for his teasing or taunting, I kept my eyes downcast as we walked on by them, but I knew that he could immediately tell something was wrong. And he felt the unexpected, incurable urge to do something about it.
Not that his feelings or notions were any of my concern; I just wanted to get back to the room as fast as possible and forget about this horrible place I was imprisoned in…. Jinshi didn't say anything when his hands lifted up to his sash, which he quietly undid, and you can't imagine how wide my eyes grew at the sensation of it suddenly being draped over top of my head. Freezing for a second, my eyes darted back around in his direction, only to see him half-smirking, half-smiling back at me with a playful yet sincere tint in his eye, like he was mocking me but was also genuinely sorry….
Gaoshun also didn't know what to make of it, blinking between his master and me perplexedly. I think he thought that it was unseemly that we would be walking around the palace with wet hair, so he instantly went into annoyed mode, shooting me a glare. "Dry your hair, girl. For god's sake, we don't need you getting sick too," he hissed and the men took off, as did we. But as we walked, I touched the make-shift veil over my damp hair. He put it on me without touching me, careful not to caress my skin…. Why? Why would he do that?
I came to the conclusion that he was mocking me, teasing me about my religious practices. Or perhaps it was because my hair was wet- who knows? I didn't understand why he'd be concerned about the welfare of a woman he's barely spoken twenty words to… But then, it was his job to look after me, I suppose. I just couldn't shake the feeling deep, deep down inside of me that he knew I looked distressed….
And maybe, just maybe, wanted to give me a modicum of my modesty back.