One-Shot: It's a Four
"All right, you roll another hard 8….. and we get married, here, tonight!"
Monica started and glanced sharply at the love of her life. The relish in her Chandler's voice couldn't be all because of a gambling high – that feeling that compelled one to stay at the table, raising the stakes higher and higher. Yet, still…. what had he just said? Had her boyfriend of a full year really just… proposed to her? Even though he had his own fears of commitment which she had accepted in him long ago?
Monica's heart melted into a gooey puddle as she realized: yes. Chandler really had just proposed to her. Chandler really had just told her he wanted to marry her. Someone loved her and wanted to marry her!
Monica's hearing came roaring back, listening to how the strangers at their gambling table were now abuzz. "CALM DOWN!" she hollered. "It JUST. GOT. INTERESTING!" She turned to her lover, baby blue eyes blinking hopefully as she searched his face. If Chandler appeared aware of what he had just said, she found no regret in his smoldering orbs. Only love. And a confidence that their being together – forever, in matrimony.
"What did you just say?"
"You roll another hard 8, and we get married."
…. Well, it wasn't the proposal Monica had always envisioned ever since she was a little girl. He hadn't even gotten down on one knee to ask for her hand in marriage. But she supposed that the more formal, if also ham-handed, proposal from a few months ago could count. Still, if there was one thing being with Chandler had taught her, it's that sometimes you get something even better than you expected or imagined. For herself, she knew she would always remember this moment, when the man she loved popped the question to her at a craps table on a casino floor in Vegas.
"I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, Monica."
Her smile stole across her face like the sun and she gazed at him adoringly. "I've never loved anyone as much as I love you!" And in her heart, she meant it. She spoke true. After all, hadn't she been clear with Chandler in convincing him of such?
I thought Richard was the love of your life.
Not anymore.
Certainly, Monica already knew that if Richard had proposed to her anywhere, never mind a casino in Vegas, she wouldn't have had her head and her heart fighting to scream YES! immediately. She would have thought about it.
This situation should have demanded she think about the proposal just floated now. Except there was no thinking to be had. Only that this felt…. right.
Monica took a deep breath. And she leapt.
"OK. Let's do it!"
She shook her wrist, pleading with the pair of dice in her hand to make her lucky one last time. Make me lucky…. Make me a bride tonight….
She threw.
The first dice only made it about halfway down the craps table. The second went farther afield and out of sight. Chandler craned his eyes along with his neck.
"OK, that's a four!... and…. where's the other one?" Anxious murmuring ensued from everyone at the craps table. For a second, Monica feared the other die had rolled off the table and onto the floor.
"Here!" A gentleman in the far corner called out.
"What's it say?" Monica called.
For a second, Chandler briefly considered that this guy might lie and say it was a four when it wasn't, if only to see whether these two people would actually go through with the bargain they'd made. Except the gentleman in the corner answered too readily for it to be a lie.
"It's a four!"
Gasps went up.
"An eight…. She rolled a hard eight! You rolled a hard eight!" Chandler's face broke into a grin. Monica squealed and threw her arms around his neck, and he picked her up and spun her around as their table devolved into applause and cheers.
Her feet lightly touching earth again, Monica drew back and beamed into Chandler's eyes. Then, gaze softening, she took her face in his hands and deeply kissed him, ignoring how the cheers of the strangers around them now pitched, followed by wolf whistles.
When the couple broke apart, Monica's face was exhilarated. "Let's get married…." she murmured.
"OK…." Chandler giggled, his grin boyish. Beaming, Monica swayed in and kissed him lightly.
Chandler thought it was adorable at how Monica was now reverting to her tightly wound, high-maintenance self, due to nerves. She insisted that the dress she now wore was absolutely not appropriate to get married in, dragging Chandler into the gift shop. She picked out a blue sweatshirt, for some reason, intending to buy it and wear that to the love chapel, but for all the money they had earned on Monica's run at the craps table, it wasn't enough to buy it.
So…. Chandler and Monica spontaneously shoplifted the sweater instead. Hiding it under her dress, Monica seemed focused on how the bump made her appear with child.
"One thing at a time!" Chandler had laughed.
They found the others upstairs on their floor in the hotel. Hand in hand, beaming into each other's eyes, Monica had out with it.
"Chandler and I are getting married!"
"What?!" Rachel's jaw dropped. Her gaze swiveled to take in Chandler. "When? You…. you didn't say you were going to propose!"
"I didn't know I was going to!" Chandler whined, flapping his arms a little.
"We're eloping. Tonight," Monica stated firmly. "Right now…." Grinning lovingly at Chandler, she slipped her palm into his. "Chandler asked me to marry him, and I said Yes!" Her shining eyes scanned the faces of her brother, her friends. "Will you help us?"
Rachel's lips were pursed in her quintessentially emotional way, and she started to fan herself. "Oh, honey… of course…." And she embraced her best friend.
Ross and Joey looked at each other. "Get him," the paleontologist said shortly. Then they both jumped Chandler.
The lovers were torn apart, Monica being herded by her girlfriends into their room, while Chandler was manhandled by his roommate and his soon-to-be brother-in-law into theirs.
In the girls' room, Rachel steered Monica into a chair by the bathroom mirror. The fashionista circled her best girlfriend with a discerning eye, clucking her tongue.
"Well, the dress will have to do, seeing that it's such short notice…."
Monica gaped at her. "Rache, I got engaged only ten minutes ago! You can't expect me to buy a wedding dress out here, do you?"
"No, but…." Rachel folded her arms thoughtfully. "What do you want to get married in?"
Monica's eyes gleamed. "This." And she held up the sweater.
Rachel's eyes expanded with horror and she slapped the sweater away. "Wrong answer. This is your wedding day, and you are not getting married in a sweatshirt you bought…"
"Stole," Monica supplied, flushing.
Phoebe's eyes popped, impressed. Rachel frowned. "Stole…. from…." Checked label. "Caesar's Palace, Monica Elizabeth. I won't have it!" She handed the sweater to Phoebe. "Put away the unclean thing!"
"…. In my suitcase!" Monica pleaded to the masseuse's retreating back. Rachel rolled her eyes.
"All right, honey, let's make you the most beautiful bride on the Strip!" And the blonde set to work on Monica's make-up.
After slipping the sweatshirt into Monica's suitcase, Phoebe pranced across the hall to check on the boys. Joey answered the door, looking a little frazzled. He ushered her in. Phoebe took in the haphazard strewing about of clothes. A hotel desk lamp had overturned off the side table and onto the floor.
"Wow. Is this getting the groom ready or getting into a fistfight with the groom?"
Joey cringed. "Well…."
All at once, the closet door burst open and Chandler and Ross came spilling out, grappling with each other.
"Take your hands off me! I need to see my bride!" Chandler was bellowing.
"Chandler, stop it right now!" Ross dragged his sister's almost-husband back into the closet and the door slammed shut as quickly as it had banged open. Joey and Phoebe shared a look.
"Did…. you guys get him into a tuxedo?" Phoebe asked, stunned and impressed. She wondered if Chandler had shoplifted that, too.
Before Joey could answer, the closet door hurled open again.
"I want some coffee!"
"Chandler, put your pants on NOW!" Ross screeched. The men both tumbled back into the closet and the door slammed shut again.
Joey winced. "I had the outfit in my suitcase. I needed to bring a tux for my movie shoot. It actually fits him."
"Ah." Phoebe nodded.
The closet door banged open yet again. Chandler now came hopping out, Joey's tux pants down around his ankles. Ross was behind him trying to wrestle the pants back up.
"I just want – ONE. CUP!"
"Chandler!"
"One! Cup!"
The boys went falling face-first onto the one bed, landing at such an awkward angle that it could have been misconstrued as….
"All right, Pheebs, honey, she's ready…." Rachel's voice trailed off mid-sentence as she came through the door, her eyes landing on the sight of Chandler and her ex-boyfriend in what could have been interpreted as a very compromising position. "Um…. what's happening?"
"They just came out of the closet," Joey explained nonchalantly.
Rachel's face flushed. "Well I can see that! I had no idea!"
"Not that closet, Rache! That one!" Joey pointed at the closet door. Rachel was uncertain whether to look relieved or remain concerned.
Phoebe snorted. "I always knew Chandler was gay…." Everyone looked at her. "What? I'm just saying lavender weddings…"
"Shut up, Pheebs," Ross snapped, quickly leaping off of Chandler, yanking him off the bed and then jerking his best friend's pants back up. "Now, you're not going to get cold feet, are you? Cause if you leave my sister standing at the altar, Bing, I'll…. I'll…" He started to raise an arm threateningly.
Phoebe just snorted again. "You'll what? Hi-ya?"
Chandler glowered at her, adjusting his cummerbund. "I'm not. I…. I want to marry her."
Rachel beamed emotionally, nodding. "All right. All right, honey… Come on…." She exhaled deeply, flushed with excitement. "Phoebe and I will meet you guys down at the chapel with her. Monica will be the one in white." The girls scampered out.
Chandler, Ross and Joey walked briskly up to the Chapel of Love. Glancing sideways at his almost brother-in-law, Ross slapped Chandler's hand away from where he was fiddling with his cufflinks. They were slightly too big for him.
"Stop that!" Chandler stopped.
Inside the vestibule, Phoebe dashed up to the boys.
"Rache is with Monica in the restroom! You: get in there!" And she all but shoved Chandler towards the chapel doors. Chandler glanced back at his two buddies.
Before he could ask the question, Ross stepped forward. "Best Man?"
Chandler grinned weakly. "Thought I'd have to ask."
Ross's smile was broad and genuine. "Never." They went in.
Phoebe dithered over to the bathroom. Standing by the door, Joey watched curiously as the girls rounded the corner, Rachel and Phoebe fussing over the bride-to-be. When they parted a little, Joey felt a lump gather in his dry throat.
It wasn't white – more of a light pink with a floral pattern across the bodice. Monica had been wearing the same dress earlier in the evening, and yet she now looked different in it, somehow.
When Monica's eyes met Joey's, Phoebe and Rachel hovering over her, she smiled weakly. "Well?"
"Perfect," Joey swallowed hard. And while it didn't happen often, in this moment, he knew exactly what he had to do. He stepped forward. "I know I'm not your father, but…. might I have the honor of escorting you down the aisle?"
Monica beamed and swaying on her tiptoes, warmly kissed Joey's cheek. "I'd be honored, Joey."
Looping her arm through his, the good friends made their way down the aisle. When Monica caught sight of who was waiting for her at the altar, she lost her breath.
"Did…. where did you guys get….?" She leaned into Joey, whispering.
Joey smirked. "Needed it for the shoot. Besides, we Tribbianis go to a lot of weddings." Monica giggled.
At the end of the aisle, Joey passed Monica off to her future. Then he burst into tears and dashed over to join Phoebe in the front pew. As Maid of Honor, Rachel watched with pride as Monica shyly gazed at her intended.
The preacher raised his hands. "Dearly beloved: we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. Who gives away this woman?"
"Her brother does." Monica's eyes swiveled to take in her big brother, standing directly behind Chandler. The Geller siblings' eyes met and Ross sent her a warm, real smile. Monica beamed back at him gratefully, her eyes filling with tears.
The couple didn't have rings, and for a second, this made Monica panic. It was her Chandler who solved the problem with his ingenuity. Reverently, he handed her one of the red dice from the craps table. It now had a hole drilled through the facades featuring six and one, a chain looped through.
"Monica, with this…. dice… I thee wed."
He reverently slipped the dice around her neck, so that the bauble hung directly over her heart. Glancing down at it, Monica smiled at the number that was facing up.
"It's a four…." She whispered.
She felt Joey drift up to her and slip something into her palm: the matching pair of dice, similarly drilled through and chained. Swallowing, her expression solemn, Monica slipped the dice of her intended's neck.
"Chandler Bing, with this dice…. I thee wed…" A lump formed in her throat, from emotion and joy. Chandler just beamed at her.
'I love you,' he mouthed.
'I love you,' she mouthed back.
"You may give your vows now, should you have any…" the preacher allowed.
Monica took a deep breath. The part of her that planned everything down to the last detail was panicking and clawing for dominance, but she tamped it down. In her heart, somehow, she found the words and knew exactly what to say.
"Chandler…. for so long, I wondered if I would ever find my prince…. My soulmate…. The love of my life…." She eyed him meaningfully. "And then, just about a year ago, at another wedding that was also as haphazard as this one…." (Chandler chuckled; Ross frowned and turned a little red). "…. I turned to a friend for comfort…. And found everything I've ever been looking for my whole life…." Her eyes started to well up, and she took a deep breath again to steady herself. "Now…. here we are…. With our future before us… and I only want to spend it with you: my prince…. My soulmate…. The love of my life and the light of my love…. My friend…. My husband…" She spoke the last word in a hushed whisper. "I love my husband." She smiled wetly up at her groom.
Chandler swallowed hard and reached for his bride's hand. He could feel how she was trembling as she took it.
"Monica, I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do…. but when I saw you having the time of your life at that craps table, when I saw you walking down that aisle just now…. I realized how simple it was: …. I love you." She beamed at him beatifically. "Any surprises that come our way, it's OK, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You are the person – the only person - who I always envisioned as my wife." He stepped into her amorously. "You wanna know if I'm sure….?"
Monica's eyes grew lidded and slowly she melted up into her husband as he took her in his arms and kissed her. Sinking into her wedding kiss, lost in this moment with her best friend, her husband (Chandler was her husband! She was married!), Monica started to tremble again. From emotion. From happiness.
The kiss ended far too soon, and they broke apart. Monica tried and failed to blink back the tears in her eyes that were now getting her mascara all ruined.
"Don't cry….." Chandler brushed away her tears.
"I'm sorry!" Monica blubbered. "I can't help it!"
Chandler chuckled and wrapped her in a hug. "You cry your eyes out…. Mrs. Bing."
Monica drew back and peered up into her husband's face. Chandler was searching her eyes, almost for permission. As if afraid he had spoken out of turn. He hadn't. Hearing her new name, Monica felt an overwhelming wave of peace wash over her.
But there was one little thing about it that wasn't quite perfect.
"Geller-Bing…." She whispered. Framing his face in her hands, she reached up to kiss her husband again. "My name is Monica…." Kiss. "Elizabeth…." Kiss. "Geller-Bing."
Chandler beamed. "I love it. I love you."
The newlyweds were so lost in their own bliss, they had almost forgotten the preacher was there.
"Chandler, do you take this woman to be your wife?"
Chandler grinned smolderingly, his eyes only for his bride. "I do."
"Monica, do you take this man to be your husband?"
Monica slowly touched Chandler's face. Caressed his cheek. Peering deeply into his eyes, she murmured,
"Yes, I do…."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Beaming, laughing, Monica threw her arms around Chandler's neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Chandler responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted her clean off her feet. Vaguely, Monica felt her one foot pop.
It may not have happened in the way that she had always thought her wedding would go, and yet she knew: May 20th, 1999, her wedding day, would be remembered as one of the happiest, most perfect days of her life.
Ross, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey were applauding and cheering enough for a whole congregation as the newlywed Bings now strode back up the aisle, confident in their decision to wed, thrown-together and unplanned as it had been.
Later, out of the street, the new Mrs. Geller-Bing's joy could not be contained and she yelled out into the night, for the whole of Las Vegas to hear: "I got ENGAGED! And now I'm MARRIED! I got to be a BRIIDEE!"
"She's drunk," Joey quipped in a deadpan, trying to hold in a laugh, as he and the other friends brought up the rear of the happy couple.
"Drunk on Chandler, maybe," Phoebe snorted.
Monica was continuing to shout out about her engagement and subsequent marriage to the whole world. Rachel picked at her ear.
"Is there an echo out here? It almost sounds like she's saying, 'I'm gay!, I'm gay!'" And she sent a very pointed and very teasing look towards Ross. Ross simply scowled.
"At least she wasn't actually drunk on her wedding day, never mind…." His voice trailed off. "Can you imagine how many couples go to that chapel and get hitched plastered off their asses?"
Rachel just laughed and looped her arm through his. "Yeah. But that would never happen to any of us!"
One Week Later
Joey cracked open the door to Apartment 20 and craned his neck up and down the hallway, checking to see that the coast…. Well, wasn't clear. With everything in place, he ducked back in and shut the door, leaving the latch unbolted.
Scurrying back to where the Gellers and Chandler's mom were all seated on the couch, the Italian actor's face flushed. One of the consequences of a spontaneous elopement had meant that Chandler and Monica's families had not been present to witness the splendid union. The Friends hoped that this would make up for it in some way.
"Joseph, my boy, what's this all about?" Jack shifted a little on the couch cushions.
Joey grinned, and tried not to make it seem like an apologetic grimace. "You'll see…." He glanced back to Rachel, Ross and Phoebe over in the kitchen, who nodded. "While we were in Vegas…. something happened."
"You slept with someone," Nora guessed.
Joey frowned. "….. No, actually. Which is kind of unusual for me…."
"Damn straight!" Phoebe catcalled with a cackle. Joey ignored her.
"Um…. my movie got cancelled…."
"Is that what you dragged us down here to say, dear?" Judy sighed, impatient.
"Joey:" Rachel prompted, her gaze pointed.
"Oh! Right." Joey cleared his throat. "That's not all that happened." He took a deep breath. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!"
The apartment door banged open, and Chandler swept in, carrying his laughing bride in his arms across the threshold. Judy let out a shocked shriek and leapt to her feet, rounding the couch. Clad in a proper white bridal dress, as Chandler grandly set her down, Monica braced for some kind of scolding lecture.
So it was to her everlasting shock when Judy threw her arms around her baby girl, in tears. "Ohhhhhh!... I knew you would someday take a husband!"
"So did I," Chandler beamed down at his wife. "I just never imagined it would be me!" He gave his spouse a one-armed squeeze.
Monica gazed up at her husband, beaming. "I knew you were likely to take a wife…" she murmured, her eyes pricking with tears as she reached up to kiss him soundly. On her finger, her new wedding ring glistened. The couple had bought rings before driving back from Vegas and their honeymoon with Phoebe and Joey in Phoebe's cab. For Monica, her wedding ring was just as precious as the red dice around her neck - she never took either off, and never would.
When they drew apart lustily, Chandler's gaze went from his bride to his mother, who was now, with wide and gleaming eyes, frantically scribbling something on a nearby napkin. His face dropped with horror.
"Mom!"
"What?" Nora glanced up, blinking. "Writers get hit with inspiration in the strangest places, dear."
Chandler frowned. "Too many times have I been your inspiration."
He didn't complain too much, however, at least in front of his wife when, eighteen months later, Nora Bing published her next bestseller, The Merchant of Vegas.