It had been already three years since the war, and she still felt stuck. Sasuke had left again—this time with Naruto—on some journey to chase inner peace, or enlightenment, or whatever vague thing men seemed to think they could find by walking away from her friends had set goals for their futures, and Sakura was lost in a way. She had her tutelage under Tsunade, but she couldn't imagine working in the hospital forever. It just didn't feel like her place. She wanted more. She just didn't know what more looked like yet.

She would read, and she would think, and she would wonder, but what was she looking for? A thrill? A newly found purpose? A spark she hadn't found yet? She couldn't tell. Maybe she just needed a hobby.

That was until she was asked to accompany ANBU squad on a mission. As a medic, of course. She watched them from a distance—silent assassins, swiftly and smoothly moving like shadows, carefully planning their next move. With such quick wit, it took but a split compared it to her brute strength, her loudness, and messiness, and wondered, What if? She was mesmerized as she watched them, never having stopped to think about what she would want to do, only what she could do, to be better, to finally catch up with her teammates, to be someone important. She was smart. She had almost perfect chakra control. She had been told, as a little girl, that she had an affinity for genjutsu. She always had that thought in the back of her mind, but she was just Sakura. How could she compete in that field with an Uchiha? But—she didn't need to compete with anyone. It was only her against her own limits.

So, she observed her teammates as they moved on the battlefield, noting their moves, picking them apart, and trying to learn from they came back, she watched them from afar, from the shadows, as they practiced their 'd read books in between because that was how she was used to absorbing her knowledge. Later on, she approached Genma, hoping to join their training sessions. She came in with a confidence that Ino would have envied, knowing all too well that ANBU training wasn't something anyone could just partake in. But Genma cast her a certain look—a mix of incredulity and awe, a wicked smile on his lips, and a slight nod of his head. She took it as a win.

And that was how she began to learn the art of stealth operation. She tested herself on the battlefield, wielding a blade and moving with silent steps. She fought against Yamato's wooden clones and dodged Genma's poisoned senbon. Yugao gave her a challenge, her katana swift and vicious in her skillful hands, knocking Sakura's own blade from her grip like a child's toy. It was all sweat, blood and tears, but it was only did she enjoy learning a new skill, but she also had fun with the ANBU of them made her feel inferior for not being at their level. They joked around, making her feel like she truly belonged.

When she sat in the sun, reading material on genjutsu, a shadow suddenly cast over her.

She looked up at a figure above her, unsure what to say. Since Kakashi had taken over Hokage duties after Tsunade's retirement, they hadn't interacted much. He had never been much of a teacher to her, and she felt there wasn't much to say between them.

He looked tired, and there was an uncertainty in his eyes—something she rarely saw in him.

"So..." she started, feeling the silence stretch uncomfortably. She hoped it would prompt him to speak, but all she could hear was the sound of birds above her head.

Her old so-called teacher crossed his arms at last and finally spoke, "Been hearing things. Funny thing—ANBU's newest shadow doesn't officially exist."

She breathed out, fumbling with the pages of her book. She couldn't read the tone of his voice—it was the same as when he used to lecture them about teamwork, monotonous and detached.

"Well, I just wanted to try something new, and given our history, I didn't think you'd mind. There's no harm in it, after all," she said in a light tone, though the truth was, she didn't think Kakashi would care either way. She was just used to him being so nonchalant about everything.

Kakashi leveled a curious look at her, "Try something new?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, flipping through the pages mindlessly, "The work at the hospital just got kind of boring, that's all."

"Did it now?"

"Yes, it did," she said, slamming the book shut, "Since when do you show me that much interest?"

"I was once your teacher, if you still remember," he responded, sounding taken aback.

"And you didn't care back then, either," she bit at him, annoyed at the inquiry.

"Sorry you feel that way," he said, though he didn't sound sorry at all. She rolled her eyes, "Genjutsu?" he nodded his head at the book in her hands.

"Are you going to pull the plug on my training with them?" she asked instead, ignoring his question.

Kakashi straightened up, shaking off a strange look aimed at her, "There's no harm in it, after all, is there?"

Book knowledge wasn't enough. She could read all about chakra disruption and sensory manipulation, but she wasn't even close to trying it out in combat. She needed a teacher. She could ask Kurenai, but Sakura knew she was busy raising her daughter on her own. She didn't want to pile more responsibilities on her, on top of being a full-time mother. But—she could always ask, couldn't she?"

"Sakura,"Ino plopped herself down in the booth Sakura was sitting at in Ichiraku Ramen. She had been staring at her ramen for the past few minutes, wondering how Naruto could eat so much of it, endlessly,"How are you?"

Sakura sighed, shifting her gaze from her barely touched food to her friend, "I don't even know," she answered truthfully.

"Oh?" Ino inquired, looking curious, "Rough week at the hospital?"

"No," Sakura shook her head, "It's not that. I'm kind of burned out, I guess?"

"Too much time indoors?"

"Something like that," she shrugged.

Ino's gaze pierced through her, eyes narrowing in a way that told Sakura she wouldn't drop it until she spilled her worries.

"What is it?" Ino asked, her voice firm, indicating she was determined to get an answer.

Sakura felt like a kicked puppy under her gaze. She envied her friend for having a clear path ahead of her for her future. Sakura's future always had been unclear, except for wanting to become a shinobi. She hadn't thought much further than that.

"It's just—"she tried to find the right words, feeling silly for not knowing what she wanted at this stage in her life,"Have you always known what you wanted to do? You know, take over from your father, work in the Sensory Division?"

Ino's lips lifted in a slight smile, "So, you're having a bit of an existential crisis? A bit young for that, I reckon," she said in a lighthearted tone, clearly intending it as a joke, but Sakura's face fell, and she quickly amended, "Sorry," she shook her head, sounding more serious, "Bad joke."

"It's fine."

Ino sighed, wrapping a hand around her friend's, "It was always in the cards for me—to take over for my father, become the Head of the Yamanaka Clan, and all that. I never really thought about whether it was my calling; it was just how things were supposed to happen. But yes, I do enjoy what I do and what I'm capable of."

Sakura smiled genuinely at Ino, feeling happy for her friend. She was glad Ino was content with the way things were going for her.

"What's bothering you, Sakura?"

Sakura squeezed Ino's hand tighter. Having an open and honest conversation with a friend felt liberating in a way. It was nice to have someone who was genuinely willing to listen to her frustrations.

"I'm just a bit jealous,"she pushed the bowl of ramen aside, the sight of her uneaten food suddenly making her feel was transported back to the Chunin Exams, when Ino had tried to mess with her head, tried to make her feel knew they were both past that now, that they were on a different level with their friendship, but admitting her weaknesses was never easy, "You've got it all figured out, and I don't even know what I want. like helping people, but I just feel like it's not enough for me, you know?"

Sakura shifted in her seat, unsure if she should tell Ino about her impromptu training with the ANBU squad—off the record.

Ino picked up on her hesitation and nudged her, "I'm your best friend. Tell me," she rushed her.

"I've been thinking about focusing on genjutsu," Sakura said, a little sheepishly, "And maybe picking up a blade?"

She braced herself, afraid Ino might think she was crazy. Genjutsu? A blade? Her?

"Hmm," Ino mused, "I think you'd look hot with a katana."

"Great," Sakura deadpanned, "Thanks for the input."

"Just imagine," Ino continued, clearly lost in her imagination, "You—storming into the center of the battlefield, blade dripping with the blood of those pathetic fools who stood in your way, all your clothes ripped, and—"

Sakura rolled her eyes, dropped some money on the table, and got up. Ino followed behind her, giggling the whole way, and Sakura swore—if her friend wasn't so important to the village, she would've strangled her.

"I mean, damn," Ino finished with a last laugh before turning serious, "On a more serious note, I think this could be good for you. You know, trying out different styles and seeing what sticks."

Sakura sent her a genuine smile.