A/N: This chapter has been a bitch and a half (which you might have noticed by how long it took me (between work shifts) and the higher-than-usual word count)! lol. I ended up rewriting parts of it, like, three or so times! LMAO! I think I'm finally happy with it, though, so here you go! This was meant to be the last part of this 'arc,' but...yeah, that didn't happen (and if you can believe it, I still didn't fit in everything I wanted to address either! Pfft! Maybe I'll fit it in somewhere later or smth). The next chapter will be the conclusion to this 'arc,' and then we can get to other exciting things! Excited for that! Hopefully work doesn't kill me too much this week so I can work on it more peacefully than I could this chapter! lol. Thanks so much for your patience! Much appreciated! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Very Important Timeline Note: I got the timeline a bit skewed in my head. In my defense, I haven't watched the majority of Naruto in at least two years. lol. Anyway, I could have sworn the Pein arc happened after ep 215, and yet, I found out recently that it's the other way around... But by that time, I already had most of this chapter written and I already had kickass plans for this fic involving the Pein arc, so...whoops? lol. So, I'm gonna be switching things up a tiny bit as far as that goes, just FYI! Mainly in the sense that, in this AU, instead of the Pein arc having already happened pre-ep 215, it will happen in the future in a few months' time, post-ep 215!
But this way, the way I have it planned, at least, Naruto will have time to master Sage jutsu completely this time (or more completely? lol.), he and Kurama will have made some interesting relationship progress, he'll know who his Dad is on sight (IF that still happens, we'll see), there won't be nearly as much destruction and death, and man, do I really hope you guys like my plans for this arc 'cause they are gonna wreck your feels! Just fair warning! (Won't be implementing it for a while, probs, but still!)
Any thoughts on that idea/those plans would be appreciated! Thank you!
Meanwhile, hours earlier back at the hospital, Naruto's been pretty quiet since Sakura left. Neither of his friends expected much else, though, and they trust him to talk when he's ready. On the bright side, much to Shikamaru's relief, they've finally gotten his nose to stop bleeding with a few pointers from Kakashi.
"Where'd you learn that, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asks curiously, wiping off the last of the blood with the damp tissues Shikamaru hands him.
Kakashi huffs a laugh in that quiet, half-hearted way Naruto's learned means he's accidentally touched a repressed-memory nerve, and his heart pangs. He hates doing that. It felt the same way when he asked him who the White Fang of the Leaf was during their mission to rescue Gaara. Kakashi rests his head against the wall to stare upward, at the ceiling or maybe somewhere far above it, just like back then, too. Naruto wonders what he sees, what he's looking for, when he does that. "Just…something an old friend taught me."
Naruto smiles softly and nods, but stays quiet, understanding. He has questions – he's always wanted to know more about his introverted sensei – but he doesn't want to bring up any more painful memories for him.
Shikamaru takes the pink-tinged tissues from his hand, and that reminds Naruto that he never actually heard what Kakashi-sensei thought of his decision. His smile falls victim to his nerves, but he takes a silent breath and does his best to steel himself. At the very least, he knows Kakashi-sensei won't hit him.
"Kakashi-sensei?" Kakashi looks over at his soft, careful voice. "I…you never said…how you feel about…" He trails off, eyes falling as he bites his lip, his worries for once getting the better of him. He'd hate it if…if Kakashi-sensei was angry with him, too…
"About you giving up on Sasuke," Kakashi finishes, a statement, not a question. Naruto hesitates a half-second, holding his breath, but nods. Kakashi sighs, scratching his head. "Honestly, Naruto, as complicated as this looks, for me, it's not." A meaningful pause, in which Kakashi's black eye locks tight with Naruto's bright blues. A small, reassuring smile comes. "Do you remember the first lesson I taught you?"
Naruto blinks at the sudden question, but nods immediately, even as his brain hurries to catch up. "Y-yeah, of course."
"And…?" Kakashi prompts, a sort of sing-song. His tone might make him sound amused, but Naruto knows he's serious. He'd never poke fun at his Ninja Way. Neither would Naruto.
"'In the ninja world, those who break the rules are scum. That's true. But…" he smirks something fierce, eyes glinting with resolve, "…those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.'"
Kakashi's smile grows, heart warming at the fact that he even remembered it word for word. This kid... "Correct!"
Naruto beams at even that small praise, and at his side, just silently observing, Shikamaru can't help but smile softly in turn. So that was their first lesson, huh? Seems like something Kakashi would instill in them, and he absolutely expects Naruto to latch on to something like that with everything he is. It just makes Naruto even more charismatic, in his opinion (and endearingly troublesome, a new kind he's surprised to find he honestly doesn't mind). Shame it fell on deaf ears in Sasuke's case, though.
As if reading his mind, Kakashi goes on. "That said, Naruto, I mean it when I say I'm happy and relieved as all hell about the choice you've made. I'm also very proud of you. Not everyone would choose the path you have. Most that I've seen in your position abandon everything for the one they're chasing, don't take the time to look around at what they have, those who've stayed, and choose them over the deserter." He softens a little more, voice with it, maybe turns the slightest bit pained and nostalgic, while his smile grows fonder. "It's admirable. It really is. You don't know how much."
To say Naruto is relieved is an understatement. He just stares at Kakashi for a long moment, so touched he can't even speak. Then, a slow, toothy grin lifts his lips, and he's not really surprised when tears sting the corners of his eyes for a different reason than before. He feels like he can breathe again, like a huge weight's been lifted off his chest. "W-well, I can't say it was an easy decision, but…I'm—I'm really happy you approve, sensei." He has the grace to look sheepish as he scratches his cheek, smile matching. "You were the one who tried to tell Sakura and me that Sasuke wasn't the person we knew, that his intent to kill was…" he glances down at himself and gestures for emphasis, a wry laugh leaving him, "…undeniable… I didn't want to believe it, I guess…and then, when things went bad, I just wanted to protect you guys…but still…"
He looks back up at him, guilt hollowing out a sharp space in his chest. He remembers what Iruka said about the panic attack Kakashi could very well have suffered on his behalf. "I'm so sorry for all the trouble I caused. I didn't mean to scare you, I swear." He bows as low as he can in his current state, pain be damned. "Thank you so much for staying by me all this time, sensei."
Kakashi blinks a wide eye, but then breathes a laugh and shakes his head. He gives Naruto a soft smile. "You have nothing to apologize for, Naruto. That kind of change in a person… It's hard to believe until you see it for yourself. I don't blame either of you for being in denial, for thinking you could still save him even then." He melts a little more. "You don't have to thank me either. I'm your sensei. It's my job to be here for you." His eye narrows and words slow a bit as a thought suddenly occurs to him... "But even if it weren't, I'd still…do my best to be here…"
It could be Naruto's imagination, but he swears he feels something in the room, maybe the world, shift all of a sudden, like a deadbolt sliding into place. He's not sure what it is, but…it feels big.
Gears turning in Kakashi's mind, he straightens from his lean against the wall and looks at Naruto with a kind of fire in his eye. Naruto's eyes widen. He feels like he's being charged with something...
"Which is why…" he sighs heavily, rubbing the back of his neck, "…I need to apologize to you, too, Naruto." Naruto opens his mouth, wanting to protest, but Kakashi holds up a hand. "I broke my own rule. You're my student, yes, but you're also my comrade and my friend, and in focusing on training Sasuke years ago, I effectively abandoned you. It won't excuse anything, but…if you'll let me, I'd like to explain." A big-picture plan is starting to come together in his mind, and he can't keep back a wicked smirk. "Actually, there are many things I'd like to explain," his eye flits between them, "if you boys don't mind indulging an overworked, under-rested sensei."
Shikamaru, for his part, leans back in his chair, fingers locked behind his head. He has no idea what this is about, but he can feel it's big, too. Excited, mischievous anticipation buzzing under his skin, his smirk matches Kakashi's. "This oughta be good."
Glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, Naruto follows him in relaxing. He's confused, but he trusts Shikamaru, and he trusts Kakashi, too. If he says he has something important to tell him, he knows he does. He nods. "Okay, sensei. I'm listening."
Kakashi takes a deep breath, deeper than he has in a long time. He's quiet for a long few moments as he thinks, thumb and forefinger curled at his chin. "To be honest, I'm not sure where to start. There are so many things I need to tell you..." He hums. "But I suppose the best place would be to finish what I started."
He fixes his eye on Naruto again. "Like I said, I need to apologize to you for the way I focused on training Sasuke for the Chunin Exams. You probably thought I was just worried about him facing the old Gaara." Naruto nods, but raises an eyebrow. That must mean there was more to it, but…he can't imagine what. Kakashi guiltily appreciates his innocence, almost wishes that was really how it was. "While that was part of it…it was more than that."
He stands a little taller. "Despite what you went through growing up, despite having every reason in the world to hate this village and its people, you were such a good kid at heart, Naruto. You had people you cared about who cared about you, and I knew those bonds were something you wouldn't throw away for anything. I was more than confident I didn't have to worry about you falling into darkness."
Naruto looks away shyly, a happy, touched smile painting his lips. Shikamaru, watching, softens. He's got that right…
"But Sasuke…" Kakashi frowns deeply, "…he wasn't like you. He didn't accept any of the bonds offered here, even with his own teammates. All he saw were the bonds he lost, the sullied bond of revenge with Itachi the only one he saw as worth anything. He worried me like nothing else, so I put almost all of my time and effort into trying to keep him from straying." He mentally kicks himself for this for the thousandth time, curling into himself some. "I didn't realize at the time how badly I was neglecting you and Sakura. You both had to find teachers of your own because I wasn't there for you the way I should have been…" He sighs wearily, scrubbing a hand down his face. "In short, I wasn't a very good sensei to you, nowhere near what I should have been, and I'm sorry." He bows as low as he can. "I'm so sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, but…I just needed you to know."
There's a long moment of stretching silence. Naruto's pretty sure he's forgotten to breathe. Then, "What…what are you talking about?"
The sheer shock and incredulity in his voice make Kakashi snap up, eye wide, and he slowly straightens as Naruto elaborates.
"Kakashi-sensei, if I really thought you had anything to apologize for, if there was anything at all to forgive, I'd tell you. But there's not. The fact is, what you did…" He looks down at his bandaged hand and closes his eyes, can't help falling tender. Shikamaru watches him closely. He's remembering Master Jiraiya a lot lately. He hopes it heals more than hurts. When Naruto looks up at Kakashi again, his grin is bright and gentle at once. "I got to spend some of the best years of my life training with Pervy Sage, and Sakura finally got to channel her strength and smarts into something she loves with Granny Tsunade. It ended up being the best possible thing for us." He chuckles. "No offense, but you couldn't have taught us what they did. It would've been pretty funny to see you try, though."
Kakashi, even as shell-shocked as he is, can't say he's really surprised. This is Naruto they're talking about, after all. He's always seen things a little differently, and especially in situations like this, maybe it's for the best. He chuckles and finds himself smiling. "Yes, I suppose you're right about that. I'd look ridiculous trying to spit toad oil…"
Naruto snickers right along with him just imagining it, Shikamaru joining in.
"Besides," Naruto continues after a moment, "Sakura and I are still here, right? If we really hated you for all that, we wouldn't be." His smile turns a bit sad, maybe a little guilty, but it's empathetic to the utmost, too. "The truth is, sensei…Pervy Sage told me a long time ago that it was always going to be this way with Sasuke. He said it was destined to happen, and…looking back…I think he was right. All the signs pointed that way. I just…didn't want to listen, and apparently," he points to his nose, a small laugh escaping, "Sakura's even worse than me." Blue eyes kind, his expression turns gentle, yet firm. "So please, don't blame yourself for Sasuke's mistakes. It wasn't your fault. It would have happened with any of the other senseis, too. I'm sure of it."
He tilts his head a bit, his loving, devil-may-care beam coming back in full force. "I wouldn't want anyone else for a sensei anyway. You're the only one I'd ever accept. I'm so happy and grateful to have you in my life." A heartbeat, and then the softest look overtakes his face, voice following. "I love you, Kakashi-sensei. Thank you for everything."
A split second, there's a flash, and the next thing he knows, Kakashi-sensei is hugging him. Kakashi-sensei. Hugging him. He can't remember if he's ever done it before, but in his defense, he's pretty sure his brain is overloading with disbelief and joy. Given a moment or two, Naruto finally snaps out of it enough to hug him back as tightly as he can, burying his face in his middle and breathing him in.
"I…I…l-love you, too…Naruto…" Kakashi whispers, and if Naruto feels the desperation and maybe even senses some touch-starved tendencies in his embrace, he won't tell a soul. He just curls a light fist in his vest and holds him closer. Who knows if he's going to get an opportunity like this again any time soon, if ever?
Once Kakashi's composed himself a few minutes later, he doesn't leave. Instead, he sits right there on the bed at Naruto's side, and the look in his eyes is even more of an inferno than before. "I'm going to tell you every last thing Lord Third ever wanted kept from you." Naruto's eyes widen, heart starting to pound at the weight to those words, but he just swallows and nods. He knows Kakashi will tell him what he means by that without him asking. "At the time, it was mostly to keep you safe and partly because, if you'll recall, you were something of a loudmouth."
Shikamaru smirks and can't help but tease, elbowing his friend gently, "Yeah, and that's being generous."
Of course, all Naruto can do to that is smirk right back and snicker mischievously. He was the terror of the village with his pranks, all right.
"Yes, well…" Kakashi concedes, "…you had good reasons for them." Shikamaru nods, expression softening and darkening at once. No denying that. "I'm making the executive decision to tell you now because you're older and more mature than you were during Lord Third's time. You'll take it better and won't go popping your mouth off about it like you might have then. About this, anyway. I also know that Lady Tsunade, as much as she cares for you, would want you to know. "
Naruto takes all that in for a few seconds and then nods. "O-okay… So…what's all this about, sensei?"
Kakashi takes a deep breath, even deeper than the last one, and Naruto swears yellow lightning flashes across his eye. "Naruto…you are the son of the Fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze."
Instantly, the room goes dead silent. A wide-eyed Naruto forgets to breathe—hell, he thinks he may have forgotten how. Shikamaru's much the same.
"I'm…I'm what…?" he whispers, barely even that, after a few more seconds, trying to wrap his mind around it. This is…he's always wondered about his parents, but…but this…?!
Shikamaru sits as straight as a ramrod, eyes narrowing and hands clutching his knees so tightly, his knuckles go white. "Wait, sensei…are you…you're being serious right now?"
Kakashi nods. Naruto doesn't think he's ever seen him more serious. "I am. With everything in me. I swear on my Ninja Way, you are Minato's son."
Naruto gulps, sitting back, possibly in even more shock than he was before. He knows Kakashi-sensei would never lie about this, especially if it meant soiling something so precious to him. "W-wait, but—how do you know? Did you know him or something, sensei?"
Kakashi takes another breath and sighs lightly, crossing his arms and looking up at the ceiling again. He closes his eye while he thinks. It's been so long since he's deliberately thought of all this. He feels increasingly nauseous and afraid, silly as that might seem, but…he promised to tell him… "He was…he was my sensei…"
Naruto gasps, an excited, ecstatic beam springing to his face, Shikamaru mirroring it. He doesn't want to hurt his sensei – he's using that voice that says it hurts to talk about this – but he has to admit, this really is incredible! Of all the people in the world who could have turned out to be his father…! Despite his own wants, though, he swallows and does his best to rein himself in, expression gentling. "I know this is hurting you, sensei, so…we can stop. I don't want to bring up any bad memories for you. I…I appreciate you telling me what you have already."
Kakashi blinks, and then softens. This kid, honestly… He shakes his head. "I appreciate that, Naruto, more than you know. But this is something I have to do for you…" he glances upward and smiles softly, never mind that it's half-pained, "…and for myself, too."
He's so, so tired of lying to this poor boy. Naruto deserves better, and damn it, he's finally going to do right by him. He's wanted to for a long time, he just…wasn't strong enough. This won't be easy for him, he knows, but he meant what he said. He's not going to back out now, not when this is just the first step in making things right with Naruto.
He won't make excuses. But in his heart, he hopes his sensei and Kushina will understand and forgive him for taking so long.
Naruto watches him for a few more seconds to make sure he's really okay, then nods. "All right, if you're sure." His smile widens, never condescending, just kind. "If it gets to be too much, though, you can stop whenever you need to. I won't mind, I promise."
Kakashi nods, smile growing. "Right. I'll keep that in mind."
Naruto responds in kind, and then gets back to business. "So my—my Dad really was your sensei, sensei? For real?" His blue eyes shine just thinking about it. Beside him, Shikamaru's brown eyes are bright and attentive, laser focused.
Knowing that just hearing about it won't be enough to satisfy the two boys, Kakashi's already reaching past his vest into a specially sewn-in secret pocket of his shirt to pull out a small, old photograph he carries with him everywhere he goes. He's worked hard to keep it in good condition. There's a bigger copy on his nightstand at home.
It's his old team photo, the first and last he ever took with them. It's his most prized possession alongside his Sharingan and the specialized med kit Rin gave him all those years ago.
Both boys look like kids on Christmas, but especially Naruto. He looks like he's about to cry, but keeps it back. He points a shaky finger at the grinning blond man in the middle of the photo, unable to take his eyes off of him. "Is that…is that him?" he whispers, voice slightly thick, almost not daring to hope or believe. "Is that…?"
"Your father, yes," Kakashi confirms gently, fondness in every note.
He can only stare for a long couple moments before wanting to know, "What…what was he like?"
Kakashi hums in thought, looking up at the ceiling again. It hits Naruto that maybe he's looking up toward Heaven, toward his parents and the others he's lost. Maybe it makes him feel closer to them. "He was the best sensei I could have ever asked for. I was five years old when I made genin and was assigned to him, but he never treated me like I was anything but an equal. I appreciated that more than anything. He was the strongest ninja I've ever met. He perfected the Second Hokage's fledgling Flying Thunder God Technique, calling it the Flying Raijin, which lets a user mark weapons or people or anything else he wants and get there in a flash, almost like teleportation. It was incredible. He used it to be as fast as a flash of lightning across the sky. He saved my life with it once. That's how he earned the nickname 'Yellow Flash of the Leaf.'"
He smiles even more. "Of course, while that might have made his enemies quake in their boots and the village adore and respect him, that wasn't what made his peers and students like me love him so much. Minato was kind and patient and insanely smart, a brilliant tactician. He was so loving, too. Sometimes, I thought that might be the only thing in him, there was so much of it. I wish…" he pauses, realizing he was letting his heart lead the conversation instead of his head; his smile falls tender, "…I wish I'd had more time with him…"
Naruto is quiet while he processes all this, does his best to burn it into his memory. He just keeps staring at the image of his father in his beloved sensei's hand, though there's a different white-haired, red-painted face there, too, in his mind's eye. "I know the feeling…" he tells him softly, peering up at Kakashi with deep blue eyes that communicate empathy beyond words. There's a tiny, kind smile on his face. "I wish you did, too, sensei…"
Kakashi can't help the warmth in his returning grin. "Thank you, Naruto. I wish you could have met him."
Naruto melts a little more and hums in agreement, and then he perks up like he just remembered something important. "Oh! What—what about my mom? Who was she? She must have been an Uzumaki, right?"
Kakashi nods, and there's something suddenly soft, more so than with Minato, in his expression. He breathes a laugh. "Yes, she was. Her name was Kushina, and she had hair as red as could be. She was known for it, alongside her temper and strength. The way I heard it, ever since she was a little girl at the Academy, the boys used to make fun of her round face and red hair, calling her 'tomato,' so she beat them all up. It wasn't long before she earned the nickname Red-Hot Habanero." He laughs, unable to help himself as he remembers some of the stories she and Minato used to tell him growing up. "She was one of the strongest and most skilled shinobi in the village, right alongside your father. She was the best sealer we had, and she taught Minato everything she knew." He eyes Naruto pointedly, voice lowering some sensitively. "She was also the Nine Tails Jinchuuriki before you."
Naruto's eyes go wide and a light gasp leaves him, his mouth dropping open some. At his side, Shikamaru looks between him and Kakashi, eyes narrowing. "So, wait, was it a lineage thing? Is that why Naruto was chosen to be the next vessel? But then why choose the day he was born? Seems a little cruel to inflict something like that on a newborn baby, don't you think?"
Kakashi sits back a bit and scratches his head with a heavy sigh. He's been doing a lot of that today, and he thinks he'll be doing a lot more of it before this is over. "That…is where it gets complicated…"
He tells them all about the night Naruto was born – how a masked man stole into the village to extract the Nine Tails from Kushina and release it onto the Leaf, how every option she and Minato had to deal with the Fox except seal it inside Naruto was cut off, how they shielded Naruto with their own bodies when the Nine Tails overheard and attacked, and, after sealing the Fox inside him with the Eight Trigrams Seal, told him that they believed in Naruto and his ability to control the Nine Tails one day, choosing to spend their last moments showering him with all the love they had inside them.
Shikamaru is speechless. He knew about the Nine Tails' attack on the village and all, but he never knew it went down like that. Never knew it involved Naruto directly, though thinking about it now, it makes a lot of sense. Glancing over at Naruto, though…he swallows, heart sinking. He wants to reach over to comfort him, but…he's not sure he should.
Naruto's bandaged hand is curled tightly in his hospital gown at his stomach, just over his seal, and while tears are streaming down his face, it's hard to tell if he's angry or sad or horrified. Maybe it's all three. Hell, maybe he's not sure how to feel. Shikamaru wouldn't blame him for that. He's only listening, and he's not entirely sure himself.
Shikamaru's not wrong. Naruto…doesn't know how to feel at all. Ever since he learned of its existence, he's always felt resentment for the Nine Tails. It was the reason the village hated him and he didn't have anyone for so long. And now, given he just learned it killed his parents, too…he wants to hate it. Viciously, all-encompassingly, no holds barred.
But…he can't. Its chakra has pulled him out of some truly tough spots, and this time…it used its own chakra to save his life, putting its own on the line in the process. He remembers the flash of protectiveness he felt in that moment, never mind that it was done with dragging paws. It might have only been because they share a body, and if Naruto dies, it does, too, but…then why the protectiveness at all? Why…why feel anything for him but disdain and disgust? Why tell him not to give up, which seems like something one would only say to someone they care about? It just…doesn't make sense to him…
But maybe…he can at least start to find out when he talks to the Nine Tails himself.
They give him a few minutes, and when he finally wipes away his tears and sniffs, he nods at Kakashi. "I-I see…" His voice cracks, but he figured it would. He gives a barely-there, conflicted smile. "Thank you for telling me, sensei."
Kakashi nods, wishing this didn't have to be so painful for him. "Of course… You deserve to know." Suddenly, a thought hits him that he hopes will cheer him up a little, and Kakashi offers a small, semi-amused grin. "I bet you'll never guess who the ANBU security detail was while your mom was pregnant."
Naruto blinks at the abrupt topic change, but still tries to think of anyone in the ANBU that he knows. "It couldn't have been Sai 'cause he wasn't born yet…and Captain Yamato wasn't part of the Hokage's ANBU, so…"
Kakashi chuckles. "Nope." His smile grows. "It was me."
Naruto gasps, pointing at him. "W-wait, for real? You, Kakashi-sensei?"
He nods. "Mm hmm! I was Minato's top student and a captain in the ANBU at the time. Things in the ANBU were getting a little rough for a thirteen-year-old, so he wanted to give me a breather. Besides, being trusted with something as important as watching over the woman who was practically my mother and being able to care for you and make my surrogate father proud at the same time…" He basks in the glow of that memory's feeling for a moment. "What more could I have asked for?"
Naruto looks at him like he's just hung the starting moon outside, practically with stars in his eyes. "Whoa…! So, you're, like, my guardian angel or something, huh, sensei?"
Kakashi flushes at the comparison, raising his hands feebly. "W-well, I…don't know if I'd go that far, but…I appreciate the sentiment."
Naruto just grins sunnily before turning back to the picture. "Okay, so I know that's you." He points at the obviously younger Kakashi, grumpy and side-eyeing the black-haired boy to his left. He chuckles. "You were a really cute kid, sensei," he can't help but tell him.
Kakashi blushes a little more, an embarrassed laugh escaping him. "T-thank you…"
Naruto's finger moves to the girl at the bottom, in the middle of Kakashi and the other boy. "Who's she? She's your teammate, right?"
Kakashi melts, that soft, fond, nostalgic tone coming back to his voice. "Remember that friend with the medical expertise I mentioned? This was her. Her name was Rin Nohara, and she was one of the kindest people I've ever met." He winks. "Alongside you and Obito, that is."
Naruto smiles shyly, but brightly, flushing at the high compliment. He's not sure who Obito is, but he's guessing he'll find out. Shikamaru breathes a laugh, unable to keep from melting as he watches Naruto. That's probably the truest core assessment he's ever heard. Naruto points at the medical ninja armband Rin's wearing in the photo, an old style they've updated for the new generation. "Hey, wait, so does this mean she was your team's medical ninja?"
Kakashi grins with pride. "Yes. Yes, she was. She was only thirteen, but she was the most advanced medical ninja in our class, especially for her age."
Naruto gasps excitedly, eyes shining. "Wait, so she was like our Sakura? That's so cool!"
Kakashi laughs, this one more genuine. Naruto's relieved to see his smile matches. "Yes. Less brash and violent—besides defending us on missions, I don't think Rin had a mean bone in her body—but essentially, yes. To be honest, I rarely got hurt in the field, but—" he breathes a laugh; he's saying more than he means to, really, but he blames the nostalgia and the fact that he hasn't talked about his old team openly in…longer than Naruto's been alive, he thinks, "—she wanted to make sure someone else knew at least some of what she did beyond the basics in case we were ever separated or she got hurt or taken out on a mission.
"Mostly for…" his finger drifts a few millimeters to land on the goggles-wearing boy with spiky black hair beside Kakashi, "…his sake. His name was Obito Uchiha, and he…" his voice goes softer here and keeps going, probably without him realizing, expression following with some sadness sneaking in, too, "…he was my rival and, admittedly, the closest thing I had to a best friend. The closest thing I'd let myself have, anyway, at the time."
Naruto can't help but notice that Kakashi seems so…conflicted about this Obito guy, so sorry and grateful at once. Could it be something like him and Sasuke? Or…is it more than that? He doesn't miss the way he keeps saying 'was' about both him and Rin, so…
"Like I mentioned before, he was another of those kindest people I've ever met, so loudly friendly and adoring and not caring who knew it. He was perpetually late to everything because he was always helping out the elderly in the village. They adored him. Looking back, it was cute, honestly." He laughs, remembering it. "Like you, he was loud and proud and dreamed of being Hokage someday. And on top of that, he was so in love with Rin, ever since they were small, it was almost sad. Sweet, but sad because…" he blushes and chuckles, a bit embarrassed to admit this part, even all these years later, "…w-well, he…knew how she felt about me…"
Naruto and Shikamaru's eyes go wide at that, and they look at each other with matching enthused grins. "Whoa! No way! Kakashi, you had a girlfriend?! She was so pretty and smart, just like Sakura! You're so lucky!" Naruto praises.
Shikamaru chuckles and smirks. "I gotta admit, sensei, I never really pictured you with anyone besides your dirty books, but someone like her? She doesn't seem like she'd be too needy or naggy, so," he shrugs, "I can see it." He winks. "Good job."
Kakashi waves his hand, turning almost red. "Whoa, whoa, boys! I appreciate the support, but that's actually…not what happened." They both blink, raising twin eyebrows. "I didn't…share her feelings. Not because there was anything wrong with her, of course not. On the contrary, I would have been damn lucky to have someone like her by my side. I just…well, it was complicated on my part. She understood my reasons, though, and did her best to care for me regardless. As for Obito…" he softens again, "…all he wanted was her happiness, so even if it ended with him hurt, he did his best to be there for her and even encouraged her feelings for me." He breathes a barely-there laugh, appreciating and heartbroken at once. "It was…admirable. Yeah… That's what it was." His gaze slides to Naruto. "It actually reminds me a lot of you with Sakura and Sasuke."
Naruto blushes brightly, and Shikamaru snickers, unable to help himself. Once he shakes that off, he looks back at his sensei, expression serious. "So…what happened to him?" he asks quietly, gently, not wanting to open anything if he doesn't have to. He's trying to give him an out, honestly, not that he thinks he'll take it.
Kakashi's eye falls, and he goes silent. The room around him, too, the very air, is suddenly devoid of sound, Naruto swears. He also thinks it's gotten at least a few degrees colder. It lasts for a good minute or two until Kakashi, staring at his team photo, at Obito in particular, says, voice barely above a whisper, "I'm not an Uchiha."
Naruto cocks his head, a small "Huh?" leaving him. "Well, yeah… Of course you're not…"
Shikamaru, on the other hand, clues in almost immediately. "And yet you have a Sharingan."
Kakashi's eye flicks back up, voice a little stronger this time. "And do you know how that's possible?"
Shikamaru thinks, Naruto looking to him because he's still confused, but also honestly intrigued. "The only way a person can have a Sharingan if they're not born with Uchiha blood is…" his sharp eyes snap up to meet Kakashi's, "…transplantation."
A nod. "Exactly."
Naruto's eyes widen, and he turns back to Kakashi. "W-wait, so…your Sharingan… You're saying it's…it was someone else's?"
He feels like an idiot, like he should have already known that, and maybe he already did on some level. But figuring something for years and finding out it's true are two completely different things.
A long inhale through his nose, and Kakashi holds it while he moves his crossed leg the tiniest bit so it's touching Naruto's. Even that small source of warmth helps ground him. He exhales slowly through his mouth. It's a calming exercise Rin taught him years ago, and it always helps. He's still so grateful. "Yes, Naruto. It was…" he glances down at the photograph, voice lowering again, "…it was Obito's…"
Naruto's eyes widen, drifting to the picture again. For Kakashi to be the only one of his Dad's students left to protect his Mom…he must have been young, really young, when all this happened, right…? He feels his heart and stomach sink, and he can't help swallowing before asking, "Are you…sure you want to tell us? You don't have to, really. I don't..." He shakes his head and starts over, a sweet smile coming as he reaches out to cradle Kakashi's photo hand with his. "The last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt you, sensei…"
Kakashi's gaze finds Naruto's, and a helpless, easy smile rides his tiny sigh. He still has no idea how far he'd really go for him, does he? Compared to that…this is nothing. Bringing up his other hand, he sandwiches Naruto's between his and squeezes. "I know, Naruto," he tells him softly, so much more grateful than he will probably ever understand. "Believe me, I know. But this will be good for you two as well as me, I promise. I haven't…I can't…remember the last time I talked about Obito and Rin when I wasn't visiting their graves…and they deserve more. Better." He smiles. "Maybe…you can help with that."
Naruto's eyes widen, understanding the weight he's putting on this. "O-of course, sensei…"
At his side, Shikamaru nods, rare conviction he's only found recently lighting his eyes. "We're all ears, sensei."
Sitting back a bit, Kakashi lays his photo on the bed and crosses his arms, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling again as he thinks. "In order for all this to make sense…I suppose I'll have to start at the beginning." He takes a deep breath. This…is going to be difficult. "About six months ago, Naruto, you learned that the White Fang of the Leaf was my father. His real name was Sakumo Hatake, and he was one of the strongest ninja in the Leaf."
He goes on to tell them about his father's top secret mission behind enemy lines that he abandoned in order to save his captured teammates during the Third Great Ninja War, how the village and those same comrades vilified and ostracized him for it, and how the emotional and physical toll it had on him were so great that, eventually, he took his own life…and Kakashi, still just a little boy, was the one who found him.
Naruto sheds a good few tears, but he's also curling a tight fist in his sheets and gritting his teeth. He wants to argue for Kakashi's father's sake, but—they undoubtedly already know how he feels, and especially in Kakashi's case, he knows better than anyone how awful and unfair and wrong that was. Besides…he knows it would be easier for Kakashi if he's able to get it all out at once. Swallowing, he nods for Kakashi to continue.
"After that…I stuck to the ninja rules like it was life or death. Because, to me…it was. Even when I was on a team with Minato-sensei, Rin, and Obito, I didn't lighten up at all. Obito and I fought over it constantly." He chuckles. "We were always at each other's throats. Minato-sensei tried to help me, but…nothing could sway me. I was sure that was the only way to survive in this ninja world." He takes a deep breath. "And then…that day came…the day that changed my whole outlook on life and," he reaches up to rest delicate fingers over his Sharingan eye, other eye deep in his memories already, "gave me this eye."
Naruto and Shikamaru both swallow thickly, mouths dry and hearts already starting to pound. Kakashi, for his part…without these two here to ground him, no matter how many years it's been…he's not sure he'd be able to get through this. He thanks everything for them.
"It was a mission that, if successful, would eventually lead the Hidden Leaf to victory in the war. While Minato-sensei was securing a place for our men elsewhere, the three of us were to take out Kannabi Bridge, the epicenter of the enemy's most important supply route, which was guarded by a group of Stone ninja."
He tells them every last detail about that mission. How Rin was captured and Obito wanted to go after her, but Kakashi refused because it would be breaking the rules; how Obito told him he believed Kakashi's father was a great hero and he'd go after Rin just like he did his teammates no matter what; and how he repaired and revived Kakashi's long-broken, dead heart with what would eventually become his Ninja Way.
"As much as I tried to deny it out of fear of losing them like I lost my father, I did care for Rin and Obito, so much more than I was ever brave enough to let on. I was a coward, the worst kind…"
He tells them how he went after Obito to save Rin and lost his eye saving him, and then how Obito awakened his Sharingan returning the favor. "It was the first time he'd ever actually taken a life, but he was the kind of person who would do anything to protect his friends," he smiles gently, proudly, at Naruto, "not unlike you, Naruto."
He goes on about how they managed to save Rin, but…that's when things went horribly wrong. How one of the Stone ninja brought the whole cave down on top of them, how Kakashi was knocked out for just a few seconds when a rock hit his bad eye, but…it was enough. His voice shakes here, and he curls shaking hands into white-knuckled fists. He feels almost sick retelling this part, but he presses on. He tells them how Obito ended up saving him, but couldn't save himself from the boulder the size of a building, how it crushed his entire right side, how…how he was dying right in front of them, but all he had to ask was if they were okay…
Naruto's never seen his sensei cry before. Honestly, he never thought he would. Maybe that was stupid and naïve of him. To be fair, Kakashi isn't crying much yet, just a few tears here and there, but…still. Not that Naruto would ever judge him for that. Of course not, especially when he doesn't have any room to talk himself. He's crying much more, harder than he even normally might be by now if it weren't for seeing his teacher cry.
Kakashi, for his part, is just staring at his palm where his tears have landed in shock. He's…crying…? He hasn't cried in… The last time he cried was…when Obito…and Rin…and then when Minato-sensei and Kushina…but not…not since…! He…actually forgot how it felt to cry, how gross and vulnerable and raw it makes him feel. No wonder he repressed these memories and the emotions tied to them so much. But still…now that he's started, he doesn't think he can hope to stop. Thankfully, he knows Naruto and Shikamaru would be the last to judge him for something like this.
Tears or no, he forges ahead to tell them about how Obito said he wanted to give him his gift for making jounin and squad captain before he died, that he hadn't before not out of spite or malice like Kakashi thought, but because he couldn't think of anything good enough for the boy he secretly admired. Kakashi told them how Obito had praised and believed in him fully, how, at Obito's behest, once the transplant was done Kakashi used his gift to defeat the enemy outside so he and Rin could escape, and then…how he and Rin had stayed by Obito's side until the last possible moment.
Kakashi's broken a good bit more by this point, shoulders trembling, head hanging, many more tears falling than before. Naruto's tears are absolutely flooding his face while his shoulders quake horribly, but he's biting his shaking, white-knuckled fist so his sobs don't interrupt. Shikamaru has a hand on his back, rubbing it in a way he hopes will soothe him, at least a little.
Once they both calm down a little several minutes later, Kakashi keeps going with the last stretch. It's Rin's turn this time, and…Naruto can't help the way his stomach sinks even lower. He can tell dredging up all this is taking a toll on his sensei. He's just…not sure what kind. He seems like he's tearing himself asunder, and yet…he also seems…better for it, too? The way he holds his head and shoulders just a tiny bit higher than usual, the light in his dark eye slowly getting brighter than he thinks he's ever seen it.
Shikamaru gulps. He's seeing an incredibly vulnerable side of Kakashi here that he never thought he'd see. He almost feels like he shouldn't be here, like he's invading a ridiculously private moment, but…if he didn't want him here, Kakashi would say so, and he thinks he wants him here for Naruto, too. Hell, maybe it's to help ground them both, seeing as he's the only one able to keep his head between the three of them. Not that he's saying there's anything wrong with crying like they are, of course. Being a ninja and keeping an open heart…like Kakashi said, it's a difficult thing, but man, is it admirable. If anything, this is just another example of why Naruto's methods, while unorthodox, can touch and change other shinobis' hearts so easily. Still…he wishes he could do more.
Kakashi tells them about how, months following Obito's death, they were nearly done with a top secret mission when Rin was captured by Hidden Mist ninja, who sealed the Three Tails inside of her and planned to unleash it on the Leaf the second she stepped foot inside the village. How Rin begged him to kill her to protect the village, but Kakashi vehemently refused because that would be breaking his promise to take care of her to Obito and vowed to find another way, how they were ambushed by more Mist ninja, and then…how Rin chose to die…
A sharp jolt, and a lurching, pained sob suddenly leaps from Naruto's throat, loud and strangled and ugly. It makes them all jump, Naruto, too, not even realizing it was coming, but he just lets his raining tears fall and clutches the right side of his chest opposite his heart, gritting his teeth against more harsh sobs. At first, they're worried, thinking something might be wrong, but then they look closer and realize...
That side of his chest…that reaction to what Kakashi's Lightning Blade must have felt like…the pain in his expression… Shikamaru's face goes dark, his hand on Naruto's shoulder tightening as he bites back a curse, while Kakashi squeezes teary eyes shut for a moment, a strangled sound escaping him as well.
Sasuke's Chidori…a copy of Kakashi's Lightning Blade, at the time corrupted by Orochimaru's Cursed Seal of Heaven…left a similar hole in Naruto's own chest just a few years ago…
His reaction just drives it all home for Kakashi, who was already on the precipice of breaking entirely, and as his own tears threaten to become a river, Naruto looks up at him with a deep, gasping breath, the end a choking sob. Lifting his good arm, he waves him forward, almost begging, but he'd never force him. They both know that. And yet...
The next thing Kakashi knows, he's reaching forward to let himself be pulled into Naruto's strong, warm, safe hold. He feels like a child again, like he should be the one offering comfort to his precious student…but he also can't imagine any other way this could go or anywhere else in the world he'd rather be.
"Y-you did well, sensei…" Naruto whispers, voice thick and cracking and splintered, but he doesn't care. He curls warm, gentle fingers in silver hair. "Y-you've done enough…s-so much more… You—you can rest now…"
That's all it takes. Kakashi shatters, utterly and completely and entirely unceremoniously.
Through it all, Naruto stays.
A/N: Thanks so much for reading!