Patricius, also known as Saint Patrick, was a Christian missionary and bishop who helped spread Christianity to Ireland. Although the Catholic Church never canonized him as a true saint, the people still acknowledged him as one, and Saint Patrick's Day is celebrated in his honor. His most famous feat, however, was banishing the oilliphéists, the serpent children of Caoránach, the mother of demons, to the bottom of Lough Dearg.

This was exactly where Artoria found herself as she darted across the surface of the red lake with serpents leaping out of the water to eat her. One tried to attack her from below, but she jumped back and cut off its head as it rose out of the water. Two more attacked her from the sides, only for Artoria to jump up and cause them to bite each other. Artoria then came down and sliced their heads in half while their mouths were interlocked. A particularly large oilliphéist charged toward Artoria, slithering across the water with its mouth wide open. Artoria countered by holding her sword out in front of her, causing the serpent to be cut in half as it kept moving forward. Ten more moved to attack her all at once, but Artoria weaved her way through each one, slicing them to pieces as she went.

When Artoria was done, the lake was filled with the cut-up pieces of the serpents she killed. Patricius chuckled and clapped his hands.

Patricius: "My, my. That's very impressive lassy. Most servants would have trouble takin' on a single oilliphéist, yet you managed to take down fourteen of them! You must be a servant of great renown!"

Artoria: "I am flattered. However, before we fight, I have two questions I must ask.

Patricius: "Alright then. We have time ta spare. Shoot!

First, what is your wish for the Holy Grail? Saints like you tend to be impartial when it comes to the Holy Grail War, yet earlier you said that you would acquire the grail by any means necessary. So I must ask, what is your wish?"

Patricius: "That's an interestin' point. My wish for the Holy Grail is simple: to reincarnate in the modern world. I want to pick up where I left off in life, and continue spreading the good word of our lord, Jesus Christ throughout the land."

Artoria: "That…might be hard to do in today's society. People in modern times aren't as easily persuaded as they were back then."

Patricius: "Hey, the least I can do is try! Now, what is yer other question?"

Artoria: "Right! I'm sorry if this sounds a little rude. My second question is…why do you have an Irish accent?"

Patricius: "...because I'm from Ireland obviously."

Artoria: "You say that, but if I remember your history correctly, you were brought over from Britain as a slave, right?"

Patricius: "Well…yeah."

Artoria: "And the Dál Riata raiders who kidnapped you introduced you to Irish culture and Christianity."

Patricius: "I-I mean, technically."

Artoria: "So technically, you aren't FROM Ireland."

Patricius: "I'm sorry, where are ya goin' with this?"

Artoria: "So if you aren't FROM Ireland, why do you have an Irish accent?"

Patricius: "...CAUSE YA CAN'T BE THE PATRON SAINT OF IRELAND WITHOUT HAVIN' AN IRISH ACCENT!"

Artoria: "I…don't think that's a requirement to be a saint."

Patricius: "Really? That's what Victoricus told me. This conversation is gettin' weird! Can we fight now?"

Artoria: "Very well."

The two began fighting once again, and Artoria was immediately having trouble. When Artoria went to stab him, Patricius grabbed her invisible sword with one hand and kicked her away. She charged back at him and he countered with his Crozier. Artoria went fully on the offensive, delivering several slashes as Patricius, delivered several attacks of his own to counter hers.

As the two continued to exchange blows, Bigfoot and Arash were attempting to stay afloat on a log as they paddled toward the edge of the lake.

Arash: "Should we be helping her?"

Bigfoot: "I don't think so. If we were to help, he would absorb our luck and add it to Artoria's to increase the power of his noble phantasm."

Arash: "Oh! Good thinking! Yeah, let's just continue trying to get out of this lake."

Bigfoot: "Yeah, good thinking!"

They continued to paddle away.

Meanwhile, Patricius kicked one of the severed oilliphéist heads floating in the water at her. She destroyed it only for one of its fangs to fly out of it toward her face. She tilted her head as far to the side as it would go to evade it, causing it to cut her cheek and the locks of hair on the side of her head. Unfortunately, this caused her to lose her balance and fall into the water.

Patricius: "Now, where did she go?"

Artoria: "Right here!"

Her upper body rose out of the water behind him and tried to cut him at the legs, but he jumped backward and held her head underwater with his foot.

Patricius: "Gotcha now Sab- OUCH!"

Artoria responded by grabbing a hold of Patricius' leg and stabbing through his calf with her sword.

Patricius: "Gah! Lough Dearg, deactivate!"

The sides of the red lake closed in as it began to disappear. Arash and Bigfoot jumped up so they wouldn't get cut in half as the lake vanished. Artoria soon followed, using Patricius' foot as leverage to pull herself out of the water just before the lake disappeared.

Patricius lifted his foot (with the sword still in it) and swung it at Artoria, who managed to dodge it and pull the sword out of his leg, bringing him to his knees. She went to slash him again, but some dust got in her eye and she ended up missing. Patricius took this opportunity to elbow her in the stomach and backhand her face. He then used the hooked end of his crozier to pierce her lower jaw like a fish and drag her around the forest, slamming her into trees and swinging her through the air.

Artoria managed to get the hook out of her jaw and tried to swing at Patricius again, only for the wind to blow a bunch of leaves in her face and cause her to miss again. Patricius grabbed her arm and flipped her onto her back. He went to stab her, but she rolled out of the way and got back up. Artoria went to attack him yet again, but misfortune stuck her yet again as she tripped on a root sticking out of the ground and landed flat on her face. To add further insult to injury, she ended up tripping on her dress when she tried to get up. Artoria had enough at this point and slammed her fist into the ground, spitting out curses at Patricius as she lost her temper.

Artoria: "DAMMIT! THIS NOBLE PHANTASM IS BULLSHIT! I SWEAR TO GOT LANCER, YOU HAVE THE MOST FRUSTrRATING ABILITY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY-"

Patricius hit her in the side of the head with his crozier, making her head spin from the blow and knocking her to the ground.

Patricius: "Yeesh girly, chill out! It's just a noble phantasm. You've been quite lucky when it comes to the misfortune you've been experiencing. Be thankful ya didn't get any plagues thrown upon ya, not that it matters since yur goin' to die anyways"

As Patricus readied his crozier for the killing strike, Artoria noticed something in what he said.

Artoria: "Plagues? Of course! How did I not notice sooner?"

As Patricus thrust his staff down towards Artoria, she brought up her sword, partially released invisible air, and managed to destroy the tip of the staff. Patricius panicked when he saw this and immediately backed away.

Patricius: "How did yo-"

Artoria: "That…was the staff of Moses, wasn't it?"

Patricius: "Wha-"

Artoria: "At first, I was confused. There are no known records of Patricius having such an ability. Then you referred to your crozier as 'the staff that split the sea' while activating Lough Dearg. At first, I thought it was referring to the power of your staff, but when you mentioned plagues, it all made sense. The staff of Moses is what brought the ten plagues upon Egypt during the reign of Ramesses II, bringing misfortune and disaster to its inhabitants. Since it's the staff that causes misfortune, it is possible to deactivate it by destroying the staff!"

Patricius was shocked. This girl managed to figure out the inner workings of his ability by listening to just a few of his words. However, instead of getting upset at having his noble phantasm "deactivated," he started laughing and clapping his hands!

Patricius: "HAHAHAHAH! Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! I've never been outsmarted like that before, especially from a lass like yourself!"

Artoria: "Wait, you're not mad?"

Patricius: "Mad? Why would I be? Ya beat me fair and square! Getting mad at ya would be bad sportsmanship!"

Artoria: "Um…thank you?"

Patricius: "Yur welcome! Now if ya will excuse me, I'll be headin' off! I need to pick up my master since she's now unconscious. See ya again…King Arthur."

Patricius turned into spirit form and left, leaving Artoria standing all alone.

Artoria: "Now he knows my true name…great!"

Arash and Bigfoot finally came out of the trees and stood behind her.

Arash: "So…did you win?"

Artoria: "No. Merely destroying the tip of his spear wouldn't have been enough to stop Luck of the Irish. I had to trick him into thinking I deactivated his noble phantasm and forced him to retreat. In other words…"

She turned to face them.

Artoria: "...we got lucky."

Finally! I'm done with the stupid forest battle! Now we can get to the good stuff!