A/N: Merry Christmas, my beloved readers (if you celebrate it - if not, happy whatever you do celebrate)! So sorry this took for freaking ever (longest wait between updates yet, LMAO)! I actually meant to have this up weeks ago, and I've been working on it every second I could for around a month and a half, but I swear my jobs want to kill me! lol. Hopefully it's okay, I've edited it several times! Longest chapter yet (13.2k+), woo!
Note: Part of the reason I was a bit slow to update this was because I actually started a small Naruto side project, a different AU entirely (five chapters posted so far), called "Chasing Sunlight ( s/13745821/1/Chasing-Sunlight)! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it as well! It's actually one of a good almost-dozen or so Naruto side projects I have coming, so if you'd like to keep up with those, please feel free to subscribe to me as an author! Excited for all of them, so would love to hear what you think about all of them as they come out!
When the messenger hawk first taps on Naruto's hospital room window, Shikamaru thinks it's lost. Why else would it go here and not to the Aviary? But then, he looks a little closer and recognizes the subtle markings. It's not Takamaru, the Hidden Sand's fastest, but it's still one of Gaara's best, Takahara.
It's been five days since Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro left the Leaf to head home. It should have only taken them three days to get there, but if they'd run into the sandstorm… Depending on how long it lasted, too, it could have delayed Gaara sending the bird even once they got back. Plus, since it wasn't an emergency, he probably didn't want to worry anyone by sending a faster bird, so it makes sense that it would take a little longer. In any case, he can't keep the pleased grin off his face as he glances over at a still-snoozing Naruto. He'll be thrilled!
Getting up and moving to open the window as quietly as he can, Shikamaru takes the message and thanks Takahara with a few respectful strokes before sending him off to the Aviary for a well-earned rest.
As he settles down to read, he finds his guess wasn't far off the mark at all. The Sand siblings got back home a bit later than planned, by more than a full day. They only got back late afternoon yesterday. They got caught in the earlier-than-predicted sandstorm about halfway through their trip back, so they had to hunker down when things were at their worst. Gaara's sand protected them the rest of the way, and they eventually made it home safely. Like Shikamaru thought, Gaara opted to send one of their faster (but not fastest) messenger hawks so Naruto wouldn't worry.
Once he finishes rereading to make sure he didn't miss anything important, Shikamaru allows himself a silent sigh. He's just relieved everyone got back okay. Peering down at the end of the message again, he chuckles. Temari and Kankuro left their own little notes there, mostly telling Naruto to take care of himself or his adoptive siblings would have his knuckle-head. They, namely Temari, also make sure to tell Shikamaru to take it easy and not be afraid to ask for a day off one of these days. Shikamaru can't help but laugh a little more at that. She (and Kankuro, but mostly her) must know how unlikely it is that he'll ever actually do that. There's no way he's leaving Naruto. Not because he feels obligated or he thinks Naruto can't take care of himself either, just…frankly speaking, he doesn't want to be anywhere else. He's perfectly content to stay right here at his side, now and as long as he'll have him. And really, knowing Temari as well as he does and Kankuro as well as he's starting to, he's sure they know that, too. But still, he appreciates their concern nonetheless.
Looking over at the clock tells him it's 11 AM. Naruto's been waking up at different times all throughout his recovery, so it's hard to tell exactly when he'll come to, but he supposes he can draw up a potential reply to Gaara and company while he waits. Knowing Naruto, he'll want to add a few things, so he leaves some space for him to write at the bottom.
About an hour later, Naruto finally starts waking up just as Shikamaru is finishing his Thanks for worrying about me, Mother Hen, but I'm all right, I promise – IF I need the day off, I'll think about it response to Temari, offering a similar one to Kankuro. Because, honestly, that really is the best he can give, and she might not like it, but he knows she'll respect it. (Their next penpal letters are going to be interesting…)
Setting down his ink brush, Shikamaru smiles easily. "Mornin', sunshine!"
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Naruto chuckles and brightens at the new nickname. Shikamaru helps him sit up a little more and then picks up Gaara's letter. He waves it with a smirk. "You'll never guess what came while you were out!"
But Naruto, being Naruto, immediately recognizes Gaara's handwriting and gasps, lighting up. "Gaara's letter!"
Shikamaru nods with an affirmative hum and hands it over, softening at how gently Naruto takes it. Knowing him, he'll keep it with the bow and wrapping paper scrap and small bag from the Sand siblings' birthday presents, the be-back-soon note from him and Ino's get-well tag, too. Honestly, with how sentimental he is, he's lucky he's not some kind of hoarder. "It came a little over an hour ago, but I wanted you to get your rest. I hope you don't mind that I read it and started a reply back."
Naruto shakes his head. "Of course not, that's great! Thanks, Shikamaru!"
Shikamaru breathes a laugh and shrugs. "Hey, no need to thank me. It's what I'm here for."
Naruto chuckles as well and grins a little more. "I know, but I'm still gonna thank you anyway!"
With that, he starts reading, melting at Gaara's pretty handwriting and the poetic way he talks. They're familiar, and he finds it comforting somehow, even when he's so far away.
Shikamaru, meanwhile, can't help but observe.
Naruto really has no idea how…sweet he is, does he? Keeping notes like these, thanking him for starting a reply to one of his best friend's letters… Those aren't things most people do, things anyone else would think to do, but…he does, and he doesn't even have to think about it. It's just…part of him, who he is, this innate sentimentality and kindness and love…
Not for the first time, he wonders how in the world the villagers didn't see any of this in him growing up. Or, more likely, he's sure they did, they must have, so he wonders how they could ignore it, try to silence it, even work to snuff it out as hard as they did. Hell, they're lucky they didn't kill it completely. If anything…it just reaffirms to Shikamaru how incredibly fortunate they are that things weren't different, that Naruto and Gaara weren't in each other's place.
Naruto snickers at Temari and Kankuro's notes at the end, mostly the parts about Shikamaru, turning the letter his way and pointing. "Sounds like you're getting clucked at, Shikamaru!" he teases.
Shikamaru scoffs, but he's smirking fondly the whole time. "Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, but they called you a knucklehead."
"That doesn't count, and you know it!"
"Oh, yeah, who says?"
"I do! Everybody calls me that, even you!"
He snorts. "You're ridiculous!"
Naruto sticks out his tongue. "I aim to please!"
Once Naruto's finished writing his replies, Shikamaru seals their letter and whistles at the window. Takahara flies back, lets him secure their message, and then hurries off to make the journey home.
KRACKKKKHHHHH!
About an hour later, both boys jump at the sudden loud noise of what sounds like an old door creaking open from outside. Shikamaru is instantly on his feet and hovering by Naruto, ready and waiting to use his shadows if need be. Meanwhile, Naruto's gaze is fixed on the window. He knows he knows that sound, but he can't quite place it…!
The sound stops as a familiar face appears at the window, and Naruto gasps, brightening. "Captain Yamato!"
Shikamaru drops back into his chair with a relieved sigh before turning to his friend. "What was that?"
Naruto blinks at him, equally confused, and then he remembers. "Oh, yeah, that's right! You don't know 'im very well, do you?" He waves at Yamato and motions to tell him the window's open, then looks back at Shikamaru. "Captain Yamato has Wood-style jutsu, and it makes that sound sometimes when he uses it." He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought I recognized it, but it took me a minute. Sorry…"
Shikamaru just smiles, letting the remaining tension bleed from his shoulders as he shakes his head. "It's fine. I'm just glad we're not under attack or something." For a second there, he thought it was the Akatsuki and his strategy skills were losing their edge.
Captain Yamato pushes the window open and hops inside. "Sorry about that, boys," he says, calling off the big branch he'd grown to get over to the window. He rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "Occasionally, the older the trees are, the noisier they are, so…"
Naruto shakes his head a few times, grinning happily. "Don't be, it's okay!" He laughs at himself. "You'd think I would've recognized that sound sooner!"
Shikamaru nods in agreement, an easy smile playing. "Long as we're fine, no harm done."
Yamato sighs in relief. "Good. Thank you."
With that out of the way, Yamato's attention shifts entirely to Naruto. He starts looking him over, trying to take stock of his condition (even though he's checked in with Kakashi a thousand times). Something about it, the eyes on him and the expression on his face, the intensity of it all, makes Naruto squirm. He feels…small, like a little kid again. Shikamaru notices the change in him immediately and sits up a little straighter. Curling a light fist in the sheets for purchase, Naruto looks away.
"Are you…are you mad at me?" he asks softly.
Captain Yamato comes out of his cataloging to blink wide eyes and tilt his head like Naruto's spoken another language. Frowning, especially at the way Naruto seems to shrink away from him a little more for it, his eyebrows draw together in perplexed concern. "For what, Naruto?" he replies, careful to keep his voice low and gentle.
Naruto bites his lip. It's hard to get out, worried what his friend and mentor will say, but he knows he owes it to him. "You were with me…right before everything went down… I…I tricked you…" the words are like lead on his tongue, the weight of them settling on his chest, and he curls his fists a little tighter in pushing past it, "…with—with a clone and…ran off to help Sakura and Kakashi-sensei..." Staring holes into the floor, he swallows, and the sheets in his hold groan. While he's mostly held himself back till now to let them hash this out, Shikamaru can't stop himself from reaching over to to rest a hand on his. Naruto's grip relaxes some, and his breathing eases, too. "I…I knew Sakura was up to something, a-and I figured it had to do with Sasuke since…she hadn't been herself, you know? And I knew Kakashi-sensei would be there, too, because…" fondness flits across his face for a brief second, "…that's just how he is…"
He takes a calming breath, and then slowly brings his eyes back to Yamato before gesturing to himself. "For all this?" The smile Naruto bears is small and sad and even a bit fearful, another thing his friends don't like to see. "I wouldn't…blame you if you were, for the record…"
Yamato wants to smile at him. He wants to act like everything's fine. But…he knows that would just make Naruto feel worse (Kakashi told him about the first time Sasuke almost killed Naruto, when Sakura pretended everything was fine – it didn't end well), and that's the last thing he wants. So, instead, he just takes his own breath and a moment to gather his thoughts. He wants to say this the right way…
Once he thinks he's found it a few minutes later, he comes to sit at the foot of Naruto's bed. Naruto just watches him closely, not wanting to push his luck. He learned the hard way what that would get him as a kid (and while he knows he's safe with Captain Yamato, that habit is still a hard thing to break). Seeing a flicker of that haunted look he hates so much, Shikamaru squeezes his hand, and Naruto flips his over so he can thread their fingers together and squeeze right back. He appreciates his support right now more than anything.
Finally, Yamato sighs. "Honestly, Naruto, I'm only angry about two things." Naruto waits on bated breath, watching as Yamato clenches a fist while he glares down at Naruto's legs. "What Sasuke did to you," blazing black finds calming blue, "and that I couldn't be there to help."
Naruto can only stare for a few seconds before his lips part slightly in shock. He thought…he thought for sure that Captain Yamato would be angry with him… Shouldn't he be…? Instead, he's… "But…but Captain Yamato, you don't have anything to be sorry for!" Because he knows that's what Yamato means, that guilt is clawing at him, too. "I was the one who tricked you, remember?" He winces at the memory again, then hurries to clarify, raising his free hand placatingly, "Not that I wanted to, but I knew you'd stop me if I told you the truth…" Yamato nods. He most definitely would have.
Naruto swallows. Yamato just wanted to keep him safe, and despite how things might have looked, he really is grateful! Hearing it from him just makes Naruto even more determined to make him feel better. And luckily, he thinks he knows just the way to do that. If there's one thing he knows about Yamato, it's how much he respects and adores Kakashi. "And even Kakashi-sensei couldn't help, and he was there the whole time, you know? Trust me, he felt really guilty, too, but just like I told him, it's not your fault. I promise you that."
Yamato blinks at that, at how earnest he is, but can't help but smile and flush a tiny bit in the end. Figures the kid would know the best way to get through to him… He's a bit too easy to read when it comes to his idol, but sue him. Considering he partially grew up in the Foundation, he'll take that as a good thing.
Naruto's relieved that his idea worked, and he offers a tiny smile of his own, but he falters a moment later as his guilt surges back in. Shikamaru can't help comparing him to a kicked puppy, and he holds his hand a little tighter. Naruto flashes him a minuscule smile, and Shikamaru passes a stronger one back. When he promised he wasn't going anywhere, he meant it. The change isn't lost on Yamato either, so he's already waiting when blue eyes double back.
"But still…" Naruto bows as low as he can, "…I'm so sorry, Captain Yamato," he says softly. "I…I didn't think things would go like that, I swear…not that that's any excuse. Maybe I still couldn't have told you, but…I-I should have had my clone apologize before he disappeared, at least." He swallows. "I…I never meant to hurt or worry you like that… I'm so sorry…"
Yamato can only stare for a moment before scooting closer, a fond as hell smile finally coming as he gazes down at Naruto. He breathes a laugh, unable to help himself. Seriously, this kid… He's ridiculous, but in the very best kind of way!
He reaches out to rest a gentle hand on Naruto's head, ruffling his hair. Naruto's eyes snap open. Captain Yamato's never done this before… Not about to pass it up, though, he leans up into it, a touch hesitantly, then as much as he wants when he's not pushed away. Another quiet laugh leaves Yamato, some pain it, too, because he knows where that hesitance comes from, but it just makes the adoration in his chest burn hotter still. "I won't say it's okay because you gave me a heart attack times five, you little jerk."
Naruto looks up to find a smirk, of all things, on his face, though he cringes and flashes another apologetic look his way at the words themselves.
Taking a deep breath, Yamato scrubs a hand down his face in letting it out. "When your clone disappeared and I found out you'd run off, I was so worried. I looked everywhere, and when I finally figured out where you'd gone, the ANBU at the bridge told me what happened. I rushed back to the village as fast as I could. You were out of surgery by then, but there were still so many unknowns…" He closes his eyes momentarily and shakes his head, not wanting to remember. "I checked on you every chance I could…"
Naruto glances over at Shikamaru for confirmation. He nods. The guy almost never popped in the room itself, usually hovered in the tree outside (learned that from Kakashi, he'd guess), but Shikamaru always sensed him out there. He definitely came by as often as possible.
Blue eyes drift back to Yamato. Knowing that warms Naruto's heart, but he keeps quiet for now, just dutifully waits for the rest, and Yamato can't help but melt a little more. He remembers when he got the news that Naruto was going to be all right. He'd been trying to help the ANBU find a trace of Sasuke or that masked man (supposedly Madara Uchiha, they know now, according to at-last finalized reports from the Five Kage Summit, but the truth of that still remains to be seen) when a messenger hawk had dropped off a message from Lady Tsunade. He swears he's never been so relieved.
Feeling that relief sweep over him again in seeing the object of the last few weeks' anxiety awake and all right, he lets himself lean forward to rest his head on Naruto's shoulder, going slowly in case he isn't comfortable with that and wants to back out. But honestly, he should have known, even expected, that the kid'd welcome it, which just makes Yamato feel more at ease as well. "In the end, you made me fear for your safety. That's true." Closing tired eyes, he sighs, and his voice lowers. "But…I'm just so happy you're safe, Naruto…"
Naruto is shocked, but touched, too, and he doesn't miss that last part's parallel to Kakashi-sensei's first lesson and Ninja Way's sentence structure. He wonders if Yamato even knows he did that. Hell, he thinks he's spent too much time around Pervy Sage and his manuscripts if he's thinking something like that (he's joking, of course – there will never be enough time, and what he wouldn't give to have what time he did have back…). He's not used to Captain Yamato being this affectionate and open with him, but he takes it to mean they're getting closer, becoming better friends. He beams, heart trilling in his chest. Resting his own head against Yamato's shoulder, he follows his mentor in closing his eyes. "Thank you, Captain…for everything."
Yamato breathes another laugh, smile coming back tenfold. He buries his hand in bright blond hair. "Always, Naruto. You never have to question that."
They stay like that for a good few minutes, Shikamaru just watching them warmly. Honestly… He may not know this Yamato guy too well, but he clearly loves Naruto, and if he makes Naruto happy, too, then that's good enough for him. Knowing what's coming after this as well, he's glad that Naruto's just about done telling everyone he needs to tell about his Sasuke decision. There's only maybe one other person he can think of who needs to be told directly, and that's more of a courtesy and duty as an honorary big brother than an actual need. But he knows Naruto will want to tell him anyway, so he hopes he shows up soon. Actually, he's pretty surprised he hasn't come by already, but it could be that he's on a mission or something. It's not like he really keeps tabs on the kid, after all.
When the two finally separate, Naruto fixes Yamato with a determined stare. "I promise I'll never do anything like that again. You have my word."
Yamato blinks at the change in atmosphere and tone, the bone-deep certainty in it, and something in him wants to know more. "Kakashi and Sai said you'd want to tell me something important, but they wouldn't tell me what."
It's a statement, not a question, permission to go ahead, and Naruto nods, though it's not lost on Yamato how much less confident he looks than just a second ago. Blue eyes dull, lips purse white, and he curls in on himself, but Shikamaru reaches over to set a comforting, steadfast hand on his shoulder. The small smile that instantly blooms, how Naruto's entire being lights up from the inside out at just that one little touch, how seeing his smile makes Shikamaru smile, too… Yamato looks between the two boys before settling back on Naruto with a secret smile of his own. He'll have a good laugh about this with Kakashi later. Naruto takes a deep breath and brings brighter eyes back to his mentor. "It's…it's about Sasuke…"
Now that gets Yamato's attention. It makes him sit up straighter, eyes sharpening a bit. He has a feeling this is going to be interesting… "All right. I'm listening."
Naruto can feel the words wanting to crowd in his throat, burst from his mouth in a panicked rush, but he does his best to take deep breaths to beat them back. Shikamaru's hand moves to take his, lightly weaving their fingers together, and as always, Naruto can't help thinking how grateful he is to have him here. Squeezing, he just reminds himself that this should be one of the last times he has to get this out. He needs to be strong.
He can do this. He has to.
When all's said and done, Yamato sighs like he's just heard the best news of his life. His entire body slumps with relief as he tilts his head back toward the ceiling (another thing he's picked up from Kakashi, it seems). "Oh, thank goodness…!"
Naruto blinks, quirking a brow. "You're…really okay with it?"
Yamato just looks at him like he's the most moronic, precious thing, and Naruto can't help the confused blush that paints his cheeks for it. "More than okay. I haven't been this relieved since…well, since I found out you were finally awake." Naruto still looks confused, so Yamato has mercy and explains. "I didn't know Sasuke like all of you did. I knew of him, of course, and what little Kakashi shared with me about his team, but that's about it." He shrugs. "I didn't have any kind of real attachment to him like the rest of you."
Naruto sits back a little and blinks, then smiles sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck. "Oh, yeah, that's right!" He chuckles. "You've been with Team 7 for so long now that I guess I kinda forgot!"
Yamato's heart stutters at that. Naruto really…enjoys having him around that much…? A smattering of pink dusts his cheeks, and he can't help the shy grin and laugh that escape. "T-thank you, Naruto…"
Naruto beams and nods, happy to make him happy. "Mm hmm! 'Course!"
Yamato composes himself and continues. "So, because of that, the only things I really know about Sasuke are his history, how he joined Orochimaru and the Akatsuki and attacked the Summit, killed L—Danzo, and most importantly," he eyes Naruto pointedly, "all the ways he's hurt you and Sakura and even Kakashi over the years, particularly the first time this happened in the Valley of the End," Naruto winces, and Shikamaru reflexively strengthens his grip on his hand, "and now this."
He shakes his head, expression and voice gentling. "I could never be angry with you for standing up for yourself, for wanting better for yourself and those you love." A small smile comes, and he reaches out to ruffle Naruto's hair again with a tender hand, which brings the smile he's come to love so much back to Naruto's face. His own grows as Naruto leans into his touch so readily. "If anything, I'm proud of you, Naruto. I think this is what's best for everyone, especially you. But still…I know how hard it can be to leave everything you've ever known behind." Empathy colors Naruto's face, and he reaches up to set his hand on Yamato's. Yamato softens with gratitude. "Not that it's an exact comparison, of course, but…" he shrugs, "…I know you understand what I mean." Naruto nods, not needing words, and Shikamaru is happy for them. (He'll have to ask what Yamato meant later.) "So, if you need to talk, I'm here. Okay?"
Squeezing his hand, Naruto takes a deep breath and sighs heavily in relief. Thank goodness that's over…! Shikamaru flashes him an equally-proud grin, and Naruto brightens. "You got it! Thanks, Captain!"
Yamato melts. "Any time."
Yamato doesn't stay much longer, wanting to let Naruto rest, but he promises to visit when he can.
Once he's gone, Naruto explains Yamato's history to Shikamaru, and things that seemed out of place about the guy suddenly make a lot more sense. Shikamaru can't help but soften. Figures the kid'd be paying enough attention to see how confused he was at points. He appreciates it.
After that, Naruto goes quiet, seemingly thinking hard about something, and Shikamaru lets him go. He trusts him to talk when he's ready. In the meantime, he starts reading the mission report Yamato handed him on the way out. Apparently, as seems to be the norm these days, despite their best efforts, he and the ANBU he was with didn't find anything new on Sasuke or the masked man. He frowns and sighs inwardly. So basically, they're on the same side of the lake as they were when they started, so to speak, just going around in circles. It's not surprising at this point, just annoying. From what he's heard about this masked man (supposedly Madara Uchiha, but he'll believe it when he sees it (and plan for the worst case anyway just to be safe)), he has a penchant for playing with people, and this is no exception.
"Hey…Shikamaru?"
Shikamaru looks up at Naruto's quiet, slightly nervous tone, dropping the report to his lap without a second thought. He will always be more important. "Yeah? What's up?"
It takes Naruto a moment longer than usual to meet his eyes, and even then, he still worries the sheets with his fingers. "Remember how I…told you and Kakashi-sensei I wanted to…talk to the Nine Tails?"
Shikamaru nods, tilting his head. "Yeah. What about it?"
A heartbeat, holding his breath. "W-well, now that we know it's awake and nobody's visiting, I thought…now might be a good time."
Shikamaru blinks and sits up a little straighter. Oh… Yamato's report slips to the floor, but that's the last thing on his mind right now. "Okay..." he says slowly, raising an eyebrow, "…and…what does that entail exactly?" Because Shikamaru is nothing if not cautious, and if this will put Naruto in any kind of danger, he wants to know so he can be prepared.
Knowing exactly what he's thinking, Naruto raises calming hands as affection fills his chest. He really is the best… "It's really not dangerous or anything, don't worry. It's, uh…hmm…how to explain…" He hums as he tries to find a way to describe it. He never realized he hasn't told anyone the specifics of it until now. He motions to his head. "When I concentrate, I can kinda…or, I guess, my conscious mind enters my subconscious, where the Nine Tails' consciousness is. Both our bodies are there, too, along with its cage," he chuckles and rubs the back of his head, "but I'm pretty sure those are just constructs my mind makes up so I can make sense of what's going on without losing it or something…" He shrugs, then laughs a little more in embarrassment, pink streaking his cheeks. "S-sorry, I've never really had to explain it before… I might not have done a good job…"
But Shikamaru just shakes his head with a grin. Honestly, he's impressed. "No, don't be. I think that's a perfect way to describe it. It's actually pretty interesting, especially when you put it like that." He smirks and chuckles himself. "Ino and her Dad would probably have a field day if you told them all that."
"Yeah, you're right!" Naruto winces a bit. "Though I don't think they'd actually want to meet the Nine Tails themselves. It can be…difficult."
Turning serious again, Shikamaru's eyes narrow. "'Difficult' how?"
"Remember when I told you and Team 8 how the Nine Tails can be a creepy jerk and tries to manipulate me into using its power?" Shikamaru nods. "That kind of thing. It's also just...intimidating in general." He spreads his arms up and out as high and wide as they'll go. "It's huge, first of all—like, could easily take up an eighth of the village no problem, stands at least forty feet tall, maybe more. Its eyes are blood red, too, and it could totally eat me in a second flat if it really, really wanted to—"
Shikamaru stiffens a bit, looks like he's about to question the merits of this plan, and Naruto waves his hands, hurrying to clarify, "Oh, uh—n-not that it would! After all, it's not stupid! It knows if it hurts even my construct that it'll be hurting its vessel, and it's not that reckless!" He scratches his cheek, chuckling to himself. "Actually, the Nine Tails is pretty damn smart, if you think about it! Guess that makes sense after living so long, huh?"
Reassured, Shikamaru crosses his arms over his chest and sits back a bit in his chair to count off on his fingers. "Okay, so it's gigantic, powerful, intelligent, and something of a manipulative dick. Got it. Anything else?"
A heartbeat. "Well…it did save my life." That's true. Shikamaru didn't forget, just wanted to see how Naruto felt about it first. "So…it can't be all that bad, right? I mean, to be fair…" Naruto's hand falls to the back of his neck, a small, guilty smile playing, "…I don't really know it very well. I only learned about it at twelve, and I didn't know I could speak to it till after I turned thirteen, and the few times we did talk weren't exactly…ideal for getting to know it. I had other things to worry about." He shivers at the memories, mostly of it mocking him about Sasuke, scrunching his nose in a disgruntled pout. "On top of being manipulative, it can just be plain mean, too... It knows exactly how to push my buttons…"
Shikamaru is certain to commit every detail of this to memory, just in case. You never know, after all. "Okay, got it. Is that everything?"
Naruto takes a few moments to make sure, then nods. "Yeah, I think so. It's everything important I can remember."
"Good." Leaning forward to rest on his knees, Shikamaru looks Naruto straight in the eye. "So, taking all that into account, you still want to talk to it? Even possibly eventually become allies, like you told Kakashi and me?"
Naruto's gaze slips to Shikamaru's folded hands as he weighs his options once more. He knows it's risky, and he acknowledged himself that it might not even work, but…never know until you try, right? He still thinks it's the route that makes the most sense and, if it works, would be best for everyone involved.
After another few moments, he locks determined eyes with Shikamaru and nods firmly. "Yeah. I do."
Shikamaru nods right back and, sitting up to square his shoulders, sends him a never-say-die smile. "All right, then. So, what can I do to help?"
Caught off guard, Naruto blinks and stares. Even though he's been on board thus far, he thought Shikamaru would at least attempt to talk him out of it or offer an alternative, just to be on the safe side. And yet…
Something sparks in his mind, and nostalgic warmth fills him. He's speaking in kind before he even realizes. "You remind me a lot of Pervy Sage right now, you know that?"
Shikamaru's eyes widen. "What?" He points at himself. "M-me? Really?"
Naruto nods, breathing a laugh. "Yeah, you. Who else?" Softening a little more, he slowly traces the Uzumaki symbol in his palm. "It's just…when I was learning how to control the Nine Tails' chakra, he had total faith in me to master it by force, even when I didn't." Blue eyes come back to brown, smile growing. "And here you are with total faith that I can do it, too, but by making friends with the Nine Tails instead." He chuckles, a thrill running through him and a happy flush coloring his cheeks. "You know, I didn't think you could get any cooler, Shikamaru, but once again, you proved me wrong!"
Shikamaru blushes to his ears, but after a moment, he grins right back. "Thanks, Naruto." He winks. "And hey, with as long as I've known you, I'd be a complete idiot not to bet everything on you." He shrugs, fondness rolling off in spades. "That's just the kinda guy you are."
It's Naruto's turn to go red, and he beams for all it's worth. "Thanks, Shikamaru!" But then, just to make sure, "Seriously, though…" he raises an eyebrow, tilting his head, "…you're really not against this at all?"
Shikamaru mirrors his friend, a soft smile on his lips. "Why should I be?" Naruto blinks, and Shikamaru breathes a laugh, exasperatedly fond. "Look, the way I see it, no one else knows the Nine Tails or can talk to it the way you can. No one else really knows anything about it firsthand. No one alive, anyway." A heartbeat. "You've weighed your options. You know the risks. You know what could happen, good or bad." There's steadfast, charging faith in his gaze. "You are the Nine Tails Jinchuuriki, Naruto. If you don't consider it too dangerous, then who am I to tell you it is?" Naruto's eyes widen, understanding finally dawning, and Shikamaru's smile turns proud. "So, I'll ask again: what can I do to help?"
Naruto thinks for a long moment, gaze falling to his hand, the one he usually uses to cover his seal. Then, hesitantly, he holds it out. "Do you mind maybe just…holding my hand?" Realizing how that might sound, he rushes to clarify, pink sprinkling his cheeks, "I-I just mean to ground me, i-in case I need something to pull me back!"
Shikamaru takes it without hesitation. "You never have to ask." Smirking warmly, he squeezes and raises his free hand, too, just for good measure. "These hands are yours as long as you'll have them."
Naruto blinks wide eyes, heart skipping as a full-on blush paints his cheeks. His smile could rival the sun. "Thanks, Shikamaru!" He follows his friend in squeezing back and raising the other. "Right back at ya!"
The Nine Tails' realm is just as dark and cold and wet as Naruto remembers.
He's not surprised to open his eyes to see the beast watching him with those huge red eyes, but it still sends a shiver down his spine regardless. The fox has always scared him – he thinks he'd be a complete idiot if it didn't – but he always does his best not to let that show. He doesn't want to give it something to take advantage of so early on.
This time, unlike the others, he doesn't say anything to it right away. He wants to get his thoughts together first, see how he really feels about it. He tried to do that in the waking world beforehand, but…it didn't work too well, so he thought maybe…being here, face to face, might help.
But the Nine Tails doesn't like that, doesn't trust it. This boy, this human, its abhorrent container, is looking at it with…conflict in his eyes, and it doesn't know why, what it means. It doesn't like not knowing. As long as it's known them, humans have never been trustworthy.
Well, brat? Fox got your tongue?
Naruto swallows, but doesn't say anything. Instead, he takes his time to sit down cross-legged on the wet floor, not really caring about the 'water,' 'liquid rage,' 'untapped potential,' whatever it is, that laps at, but doesn't actually soak, his clothes. He just keeps his eyes on the fox, folding his hands and pressing them to his lips as he thinks.
All of it is done so intently that it makes the Nine Tails bristle with suspicion. It starts a low growl in warning. Whatever game he's playing, it doesn't like it! What's the matter, boy? A cruel smirk curls its lips, an effort to chase away its own unease.Have you gone deaf as well?
Naruto purses his lips a little tighter. He isn't trying to be difficult, he swears. He just…doesn't know how to say this, how to put what he's feeling into words, and that's…not something he's used to. At all. It's basically foreign territory to him. Maybe because this isn't an enemy or a friend. It's…the beast sealed inside him practically from birth, the one that scares the shit out of him, has caused him so much grief in so many different ways. But it's…it's also saved his life (more than once, if he's right), and it's always given him the power he's asked for, never held back.
He presses his hands together till his fingers turn white and tremble, bites his lip till he's sure, in the real world, he'd be bleeding.
This whole thing is so…complicated…and he doesn't know the best way to handle it…
Not here to order me around? Demand chakra? The Nine Tails' smirk grows, unsettling and with a predatory glint in its eyes, and a low laugh reverberates through its mindscape.Pay you rent, perhaps?
Naruto winces at that, but figures it's a good enough breaker. Taking a deep, cleansing breath through his nose and letting it out through his mouth, then once more for good measure, he pries his hands apart and slowly shakes his head. "No… Not this time."
The Nine Tails' ears perk at the quiet response. A reaction at last…
Naruto curses inwardly, growls at himself outwardly, running a frustrated hand through his hair. No matter how hard he tries, he can't come up with anything that doesn't sound dumb... But then again, he's never been much for thinking really hard about what he's going to say. Even the few times he's tried, he's always just defaulted to going with his gut.
So…he supposes he'll just have to do that here, too.
Stark blue eyes meet blood red. Determination rolls off of him, nearly drowning out his inner turmoil, and the fox waits, vaguely intrigued despite itself. Bright eyes watch their vessel like a hawk.
"I don't…know how to feel about you…"
The Nine Tails goes still at the soft admission. That…is not what it expected. Not even close. Not in the same dimension as close.
"You killed my parents, you attacked my village, and you're the entire reason the villagers hated me so much growing up. Why a lot of them still hate me." There's no judgment in his voice, the Nine Tails can't help but notice. Just pain and stating facts. A want to hate, yet he can't for some reason. "But…it wasn't your fault you were sealed away in the first place." The fox freezes, eyes blowing open wide. "I'm sure you and the other Tailed Beasts didn't want it. I'm sure you fought as hard as you could—"
Don't speak of things you don't understand! the Nine Tails roars, on its paws with tails lashing before Naruto can blink. The water around them sloshes violently, Naruto having to shield his face. It snarls for real now, lips pulled back, threatening to the core. You know nothing of me or my brethren! You know nothing of our suffering! Don't you dare patronize me!
Naruto can only stare, trembling with heart in his throat. He's never…seen the Nine Tails like this before. Even at its angriest and cruelest and most manipulative, it's always kept its head. It's never…lost it like right now… Something about this particular brand of fury feels…almost familiar…but he can't put his finger on why…
Once Naruto pushes his heart back down and digs his voice out of its box, he lowers his arms, takes another shaky breath, and locks eyes with the Nine Tails again. "I wasn't trying to," he tells it softly.
The Nine Tails' hackles are still raised, and the fur on the back of its neck is still standing on end, but it watches its vessel with a glimmer of startled curiosity. He's not lying…
"I only meant that…you didn't choose to be sealed inside me, just like I didn't choose to be your container, a Jinchuuriki. Neither of us chose this, so…it's not fair of me to hate you."
The Nine Tails' fur very slowly starts to fall back, tails lowering, but its suspicion never quite wavers. After so many years, that is a luxury it can't afford. What is he up to…?
Gaze drifting, Naruto curls a fist in his shirt over his heart, eyes narrowing and gritting his teeth a bit. "I know I…feel something like it for what you did to my parents, but…" he hates what he's about to say, feels like he's a horrible son, the worst, but…he can't deny the truth in it, "…I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about them either. I mean, I know I love them – I think that's something every kid feels, no matter what – but…I didn't know them. I didn't get the chance. I don't know what it feels like to be loved by them, to love them back, to be able to hug them and be held in their arms…" He rubs the back of his head, smile sad and guilty. "And because of that, I don't really feel like I have a right to say I miss them…" his fist tightens over his heart, "…even though, somehow, I still do…" He swallows thickly. "It's also why…I don't feel like I have the right to say I hate you for taking them from me either…"
Something is stirring in the Nine Tails' chest it hasn't felt since…once, very briefly, Kushina Uzumaki, following the Hidden Eddy's destruction… It stiffens. Is that…sympathy…even a flicker of guilt…?
Naruto scratches his cheek and huffs a laugh, though it's wry and pained. "And to be honest, I don't feel like I can really blame you for killing them or attacking my village either because…if I'd been in your shoes—er, paws—and I finally got out and someone was immediately trying to seal me away again, I might have lashed out, too." A smaller, more genuine chuckle comes. "Hell, I'm surprised you didn't do worse, like flatten the whole village or something. I know you can."
The fox goes still again, watching him closely. He's…the human is…trying to empathize with it…?
Naruto's eyes soften, some guilt mixed in, as memories flash in his head. "I can't even hate you for the villagers hating me. After all, it's not like you told them I was your host. It's not like you told them to hate me, to spit at or poison or beat me or anything else they ever did. None of that was ever your fault. That was all on them, not you." A heartbeat. His eyes fall, voice, too, and his small smile shrinks, turns a bit sadder, angry at himself. "I…I know what it's like to be talked to and treated like a monster or a tool, a nuisance or even a—a germ instead of a person…" clenching his fists, he squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head fervently, "…and it was wrong, so wrong, of me to treat you like that, too…"
Given a moment, he comes back up to lock eyes with the fox. "I'm sorry, Nine Tails. For everything."
A long, pregnant silence settles between them. It's almost a stare down, but not really. Mostly because the Nine Tails is the one doing the staring, while Naruto just…sits, almost like he's waiting for something. Its reaction, perhaps?
The fox, for its part…doesn't know what to make of this. This whole conversation and this child. He doesn't make sense. None of this makes sense. Why would a human, let alone its vessel, of all things, try to…reach out? Feel sympathy for it, empathize with it? Apologize? Its mere existence has made this boy's life a living hell, and yet…he doesn't hate it. He doesn't want to order it around, doesn't want to demand, doesn't want to take and take and take without regard…like all the others…
But…what he does want…that is still a mystery, and given its history, it unnerves the Nine Tails something fierce. Is there a point to this drivel, whelp?
Naruto can tell, just from that long, contemplative silence, that the Nine Tails doesn't actually think all that was pointless, but it does make him blink. He laughs at himself as he rubs the back of his head. "I guess I did go kinda off topic there, didn't I?" Dropping his hand, something in his face goes soft. "Sorry about that."
He moves, ever so deliberately, and the fox's heart leaps into its throat.
The boy is…is…—!
On hands and knees, Naruto bows as low as he possibly can, forehead touching the water.
"Thank you…for saving my life."
The fox is frozen, swears its soul has left its body. Its mouth hangs open, shocked speechless. It's still suspicious, maybe more so now than before, but it's also...floored. It's...getting respect…freely, willingly…from a human…
It hasn't…
It's never…
This is…a first…
"Maybe it was only because we share a body, and if I die, you die, but..." straightening, Naruto shakes out his dripping hair and looks the beast in the eyes, "…you still did it." He chuckles. "Y-you even told me not to give up, which…" he shrugs, a tentatively-happy flush coming as he rubs the back of his head, "…well, is probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me…" Taking a moment, he swallows, sobers. "So…I wanted to know, to ask you…" He hesitates, pressing his lips together for a long moment, and then, "Why did you save me?"
The Nine Tails is…uncomfortable, and it isn't sure why. This human is its vessel, yes, and what he said is true. It was self-preservation that led it to save him – and not just this time, but during his and the Uchiha's first fight in the Valley of the End as well. But…then why does it feel like…there was something else there, too…—?
A flicker in its chest, its eyes widen, and it freezes. No! There's no way! Why would it—?!
Shaking its head violently with a furious growl, crushing whatever it was that dared spark like that, it splashes water at the boy, keeps its eyes firmly away. Like you said: if you die, I die. Being sealed inside a lowly human, made a prisoner for the power I possess… His tails lash, and a low, guttural snarl reverberates through the mindscape, sending a shiver down a dripping Naruto's spine. It's a fate worse than death… Naruto swallows, pales, his hand automatically going to his seal. He's…never thought of it like that before… But as long as you live, there is a chance for escape, for freedom. A heartbeat. Naruto freezes when those great eyes, burning like hot coals, fixate on him with intent. I live only for that day...
Naruto can only stare, lips parted slightly. So that's how it is, huh…? For the Tailed Beasts sealed inside the chosen few Jinchuuriki… Both sides automatically hated just for what they are, never given a choice or a chance to be seen as anything else… They really are two sides of the same coin… Interesting…
And yet, somehow, he still has this nagging feeling that it's not telling him everything, like there is something more to its 'don't give up' and how it saved him and how it's always helped him out, even so grudgingly, over the years… But he doesn't press. That's not really his style, at least not now that he's grown up, and besides, he's pretty sure the Nine Tails'll bite his head off if he tries.
So instead, he just smiles, bright and thankful and…maybe a bit uncertain.
He's learned a lot more than he thought he would just from this initial trip, and he can't wait to tell Shikamaru everything. He thinks he'll get a genius kinda kick out of most of it. And for the first time, even though he's not an idiot and he's still very much afraid of the incredible beast inside him…he doesn't feel…angry when he looks at it. He doesn't blame it or wish it would go away or that it had never existed or anything else he ever felt in the past.
On the contrary, he feels…an odd sense of calm, nearing contentment, like…this is something of a new start. It's…actually the same way he's been feeling about the Sasuke situation, he realizes, and he hopes, eventually, he can get the Nine Tails feeling this way, too. If he can't, he won't force it. He doesn't want to be like all the others who made the Nine Tails hate humanity as much as it does. But he doesn't see too much changing between them if he can't bridge this gap, barring a hopefully more peaceful exchange of power. And if that's really what the Nine Tails wants, he thinks he can live with it.
But he gets the feeling that it's not, that the Nine Tails is…not unlike him in a lot of ways, and…he wouldn't be him if he just ignored that, turned his back on it so cruelly. That's why he still wants to try, has to, and he won't give up until he has a solid answer. That's just how he is, and he knows the Nine Tails knows that, too.
The fox is silently observing him again like it doesn't know what in the hell to make of him, and honestly? He thinks that's pretty fair. If he were the Nine Tails, he'd be pretty confused, too.
Pushing himself to his feet, he stretches. "Okay, well…that's really all I wanted to talk to you about for now, so," he waves, "I guess I'll just check in on you later!" The Nine Tails goes still again, watching him with wary, narrowed eyes. What is he up to now…? Naruto, catching its drift, waves his hands toward the floor in what he hopes is a calming gesture. "I-I just mean, you saved my life! I wanna at least make sure you heal okay!"
The Nine Tails snorts, amused despite itself, lying down and closing its eyes. I'm older than you can imagine, boy. I hardly need a babysitter.
Naruto blinks, then chuckles, rubbing the back of his head. "Y-yeah, okay, you might be right about that." Closing his eyes, he starts pulling himself out of the Nine Tails' realm, a mischievous beam springing to his face. "But I'd bet anything you could use a friend, Nine Tails!"
It's quiet for a long, heavy moment, and Naruto's pretty sure he's been ignored. Oh, well!
But then—
A low chuckle, and Naruto might just be imagining it, but…he swears it's a degree or two warmer than when he got here... Not on your life, brat…
Naruto returns to reality with a flutter of eyelids and a light squeeze of Shikamaru's hand. The smile that comes to his face is slow and hesitant, but happy. He even looks a little more at peace with himself, less burdened. That's all Shikamaru wants. His own smile only grows when Naruto offers a thumbs up as well.
"Operation: Kindred Spirit is a-go!"
Halfway across the village two hours later, Iruka is helping Konohamaru with some extra training since Ebisu had to leave early that morning for an important diplomatic mission. A shame, really, seeing as he and his genin team just got back from a long escort mission late last night. No rest for the weary, it seems…
They're taking a quick break when a grinning Konohamaru speaks up. "You seem like you're in a really good mood today, Iruka-sensei!" He tilts his head. "Did something happen?"
"Hmm?" Iruka blinks, then blushes at being found out so easily, rubbing the back of his head. "O-oh, well, that's just because I got some good news about Naruto's recovery from Lady Tsunade." Cupping his hand by his mouth to give the illusion of privacy, he whispers, "Don't tell Naruto, okay? It's a surprise! But apparently—"
All at once, Konohamaru freezes, his open water bottle slipping from his hand to empty on the ground. "W-wait, are you saying—Naruto's awake?!"
Iruka blinks. "W-well, yes. He's been awake for…" he counts, "…today makes ten days."
Konohamaru goes pale. "A-are you serious?" A perplexed Iruka nods, and Konohamaru growls, curls tight fists in frustration. "Why didn't anybody tell me?!"
Iruka's stomach sinks. He knows Konohamaru was really worried about Naruto, but he thought someone would have told him. "I-I'm sorry, Konohamaru. I honestly thought you knew..."
Konohamaru doesn't stick around for more, wasn't really paying attention anyway, if he's honest. Everything came to a screeching halt the second he heard Naruto's name. Offering a quick bow, he spins on his heel and takes off toward the hospital. "Sorry, sensei!" he throws over his shoulder, beaming in anticipation of seeing his honorary big brother. "We'll have to put a pin in this training session!"
"Ah—?!" Iruka shoots to his feet, reaching after him. "W-wait, Konohamaru, you can't just—!"
But Konohamaru makes no move to turn back, most likely isn't even listening, and Iruka gives up, scrubbing down his face with a weary sigh. Excitable as ever, that one… Reminds him so much of Naruto at his age…
Sitting back down, he looks up at the bright blue sky with a smile. Well, he hopes Konohamaru has a good time with Naruto, at least. He's sure Naruto will be thrilled to see him. Plus, this just means Iruka can enjoy the rest of a free afternoon. It's been a while since he's had one of those…
Naruto, unusually tired after his talk with the Nine Tails (he doesn't remember it ever taking so much out of him before, but he's not used to his lack of healing factor and the fox being so drained either, so he chalks it up to that), took a short nap at Shikamaru's request and woke up about half an hour ago.
He's just finishing up telling Shikamaru everything that went down with the Nine Tails when small, light footsteps sound down the hallway. He perks up with hope, while Shikamaru sits back in his chair with a soft smirk. Finally. He was wondering when the kid was gonna show up…
A second later, Konohamaru bursts into the room like a mini explosion all his own, using his last step's momentum to lean on his knees to catch his breath in one fluid motion.
Naruto instantly lights up. "Hey, Konohamaru! Long time, no see!"
Konohamaru freezes at the sound of his voice, afraid to believe it, and he slowly lifts his head. Naruto's smile turns concerned, and he lifts calming hands. "You know you didn't actually have to run here, right? I mean," he motions to his busted legs with a chuckle, "not like I'm goin' anywhere..."
Konohamaru does his best not to cry. He really, really does. But just seeing Naruto's sun-yellow hair (not matted with blood) and his sky-blue eyes (not closed, possibly forever) and those silly whisker marks on his dumb, smiling face (not bruised and broken and covered in blood)…! His lower lip wobbles something fierce, and tears rush in to flood his eyes.
"H-hey…what's wrong?"
Naruto's voice drops to that low, gentle register he only uses with him and other kids, sweet and kind and loving, only ever wanting to help and protect and heal instead of hurt—
Every last part of Naruto goes so soft, so open and tender and steadfast, like the big brother he knows and loves so much and thought he almost lost (like Uncle Asuma and his Grandpa)—
So he doesn't think he can be blamed at all for the way he sprints the tiny distance between them and launches himself at Naruto with a wailing cry.
"Big bro…!"
The impact hurts Naruto a little, he's not gonna lie, but he chokes back any indications behind clenched teeth and winks a worried Shikamaru's way so he doesn't say anything. He just takes it all in stride, happily wrapping his arms around Konohamaru and holding him close.
Konohamaru, for his part, will openly admit that he's bawling like a baby into Naruto's chest, arms tight around his neck, but he doesn't care. All he cares about right now is his big brother. He's alive and okay and finally awake! He's—he's not dreaming…!
"I…I was so worried…!" he manages once a few minutes have passed, still crying, but not nearly as hard. "I-I was just coming back from a mission…when Sakura and K-Kakashi-sensei r-ran past with you…a-and then I had another r-right after, got back last night…so the last thing I heard was—t-that you were out of surgery, but it was still…r-really bad…!" He has to take a minute to gather himself, and he shakes his head before pulling back just enough to look Naruto in the eyes. "P-please don't misunderstand…! I-I know how strong you are, Naruto…a-and you know I believe in you like—like no one else…but—" he sobs, "—but I still…!" He bows his head a bit and squeezes his eyes shut as memories he'd rather forget come back, tears falling anew. "I-I couldn't stand it if I lost you, too…!"
Naruto and Shikamaru both wince at that, knowing exactly what he means, and Naruto's heart aches. "Oh, Konohamaru…" He hugs Konohamaru to him again, and he doesn't protest, burrowing in as far as he can, doing his best to stifle his sobs so he can hear what his big brother has to say. "I'm sorry, little bro…" Naruto strokes his back gently, rhythmically, trying to soothe him as best he can, and Konohamaru appreciates the warmth and sweetness of the gesture right now like nothing else. He nuzzles into Naruto's neck a little more, breathing him in. He smells like the hospital, and he hates it. Sunshine and ramen and chakra incarnate…that's what he should smell like… He curls small fists in Naruto's hospital gown. "I didn't mean to scare you or worry you like that, I swear. I'm…" Naruto's heart hurts again, and he squeezes his eyes shut as he holds Konohamaru tighter, "…I'm so sorry you had to see that, see me like that…"
Konohamaru whimpers at the memories (never mind the ones of the nightmares he had on mission) and sniffs, burying himself farther in Naruto. He lets himself cry a little longer, as much as he needs for now, because he has some things he needs to say, but he doesn't want to be crying through it. Naruto just holds him, pressing a long, gentle kiss to his hair and then starts carding his fingers through it. Konohamaru absolutely melts. It's just…being with Naruto…it feels like home…
Once he's finally cried himself dry, Konohamaru wipes his eyes and face with the tissue a gently-smiling Shikamaru offers, and after letting himself soak up a little more of Naruto's comfort like a sponge, he once again pulls back just enough to look at him.
"You're wrong, Naruto. It's—it's not your fault." Naruto's heart pangs, brow furrowing in confusion. He wants to protest, but….the way Konohamaru's looking at him, so earnest and sure… There's fire in his eyes… "I mean it, it's not! You're not the one who chose to abandon the Leaf to get power from the bastard who killed my Grandpa!" Naruto and Shikamaru wince. "You're not the one who joined the same terrorist organization that killed my uncle!" Naruto grimaces, while Shikamaru has to remind himself to breathe. "You're not the one intent on destroying the Leaf and everyone in it!" Naruto flinches, Shikamaru wincing in sympathy for him.
"Everything you've ever done, Naruto, including fighting Sasuke this time, was to protect the Leaf and everyone you care about! You were trying to do the right thing, and you did!" Konohamaru wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand. "So…it's okay! Yeah, I was scared and really worried, but…" he chuckles helplessly, adoration and pride overflowing in his chest; he smiles for the first time since coming in, "…I know you, Naruto. I know I never have to worry about why you do the things you do." He pokes his big brother's chest, grin widening, right over his heart. "'Cause it's your heart that drives you. It always has been."
Naruto stares, wide-eyed with mouth agape. He can't help it. He's pretty sure he's forgotten to breathe, a bright pink blush spreading over his cheeks. He doesn't really do all that much…does he? He looks over at Shikamaru, but his friend is just watching them, mostly him, like they're the cutest thing he's ever seen, and that just makes Naruto burn hotter. Turning back to Konohamaru before he bursts into flames, he forces himself to breathe.
Given a moment, he smiles shyly at his little brother. "I feel like you're givin' me way too much credit, Konohamaru, but…thanks a lot anyway. I'm…really happy you think of me like that." He eyes him seriously. "That is all I was trying to do, take care of my teammate and sensei and keep everyone safe. It just…" he glances down at his busted legs, and he has the grace to look sheepish in rubbing the back of his head, "…got more intense and out of hand than I was expecting…"
"Well, yeah!" Konohamaru says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Your own teammate almost killed you, again! Nobody should have to expect something like that!"
Naruto blinks. Before, he might have argued against that, defended Sasuke, but…now he knows how true and right it really is. A small, sad smile slips onto his lips. "Y-yeah…you're right…" Remembering something Konohamaru said before, he smiles a little more genuinely. "But you know, you don't have to reassure me, Konohamaru!" Konohamaru tilts his head in question, and Naruto chuckles. "I know you believe in me a whole lot, probably more than I deserve, and I really, really appreciate it!" His grin goes wide. "Knowing you're rooting for me is a big part of what keeps me going, you know?"
Konohamaru, understanding now, can't help but smile right back. "I'm glad, but it's easy to cheer you on, big bro!" Naruto blinks, raising an eyebrow with a soft "Hmm?", and Konohamaru's heart leaps at the chance to do this. "You're always cheering for the rest of us, so it's only natural that we'd want you to succeed, too!"
Catching movement out of the corner of his eye, Naruto turns to see Shikamaru getting more comfortable in his chair, a fond smile playing when he catches blue eyes. He shrugs. "He's got you there, man. Sorry." Though he doesn't look very sorry at all. In fact, his grin becomes a determined smirk, and he points at Naruto. "And for the record, it's definitely not more support than you deserve. If anything, you deserve even more," he jerks a thumb outside, "from the entire village."
Grinning toothily and chuckling, Konohamaru nods, in full agreement. "Yeah!"
Naruto still thinks it's too much (hell, he's pretty sure he'd have to die before everyone in the village looked his way, and even then), but he knows he'll never be able to sway them, so he just accepts it. To quote Shikamaru, it's a lot less troublesome that way. He smiles sheepishly. "T-thanks, you guys…"
Shikamaru winks. "Any time!"
Konohamaru flashes a thumbs up. "No problem!"
Seeing Konohamaru like this…something about it makes Naruto feel nostalgic all of a sudden. He's reminded of when they first met, the kid only eight years old and grinning at him just like this while challenging him for title of Hokage… And for a split second, Naruto doubts.
Maybe…he shouldn't tell him about his decision. Technically, he's not like the others, doesn't have a personal connection, doesn't really need to know. Maybe Naruto can…spare him that pain. But then, he thinks of Konohamaru making the same mistakes he has, trusting and believing in and chasing after someone he shouldn't, maybe even getting himself killed…and he squeezes his eyes shut against the unbidden gory images, tangles protective fingers in Konohamaru's shirt till the fabric groans.
When he opens his eyes again, they're darker and duller, his expression pained and vulnerable and somehow almost-blank at once.
"Hey…Konohamaru?"
The twelve-year-old in question isn't stupid. He notices the change in Naruto immediately, in his voice that matches the rest of him, too, and he's sure to give him his full, undivided attention, reaching down to rest his hands on his. "Y-yeah, Naruto? Are you…" he glances Shikamaru's way for a clue about what's going on, but he's completely set on Naruto, "…okay?"
Naruto swallows, and Konohamaru worries that much more when he can't seem to make himself look at him. "There's something I…need to talk to you about… It's important…"
Shikamaru's changed, too, Konohamaru sees. He's become more rock than person, strong and unflinching, and he reaches over to rest a warm, steady hand on Naruto's back. The way his big brother instantly seems to breathe easier, some of the strung-taut tension in his frame eases, and a ray of light comes back to his eyes isn't lost on him either. All at once, he's grateful as hell that Naruto has someone he clearly loves and trusts as much as Shikamaru here for him, always by his side. He'll have to remember to thank Shikamaru for that later.
Looking between them, Konohamaru tightens his gentle grip on Naruto's hands. "Naruto…what's this all about?" He threads the tips of their fingers together. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I can take it."
Naruto's bright blue eyes flick to meet his in a second at that, seeming at war with himself, and the vitality in them can't hope to escape Konohamaru. Whatever this is really must be important, for Naruto look at him like that…
For his part, Naruto swallows. He takes a deep breath through his nose and out through his mouth once, twice…then looks to his left. Eyes locking with Shikamaru's, Shikamaru grins and squeezes his shoulder, and the tiny, grateful smile that springs to Naruto's face is automatic, almost instinct, he swears.
He can do this. One last time.
Konohamaru knew, even as young as he was back then, that he made the right choice when he chose Naruto as his honorary big brother (and rival for title of Hokage, but that's beside the point). Now, all these years later, that's never been truer.
Sympathetic tears swim in his eyes, and he can't stop himself from lunging at Naruto again to hug him as tightly as he dares. "I'm so proud of you, Naruto!" He feels Naruto go still with shock, and he keeps going, has to before Naruto can stop him. "I was worried about you all this time, about what might happen to you if you kept chasing Sasuke, especially since he just seemed to keep falling farther into the darkness…" His fists tighten in Naruto's hospital gown. "I didn't want you to follow him, but…" he looks away, "…I didn't know how to tell you that either…" He pulls back slowly to sigh in relief and beam. "But now that you've decided this, I don't have to worry anymore! I'm really happy," he pokes Naruto's chest, expression gentling, "and I think, eventually, you will be, too!"
Naruto blinks and isn't surprised when he tears up. A small smile comes, and he brings his little brother in close again. "I-I think I will, too! I really do!" He sniffs, burying his nose in his hair. "Thanks so much, Konohamaru!"
Konohamaru nuzzles into his chest with a laugh, beam blinding. "Hey, what else are little brothers for, you know?"
They talk for an hour or so more, right through Naruto's dinner. He eats, of course – Konohamaru and Shikamaru would have his head if he didn't – but Shikamaru doesn't make him take his meds afterward like usual. Naruto's confused until his friend nods toward Konohamaru. "It's the last time you have to tell anyone about Sasuke, and it's not every day your honorary little brother comes calling either." He winks Konohamaru's way, then Naruto's. "We can bend the rules a tiny bit just this once. I'm sure Lady Tsunade would understand." Though he pales at the idea that she wouldn't…so instead, he braces himself and and offers, silently praying, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her."
Naruto makes an 'x' with his arms. "I won't tell!"
Konohamaru does the same. "Me neither!"
"Thanks a lot, Shikamaru!"
Shikamaru just grins. "Don't mention it." (He means that literally.)
Over the next two hours, Konohamaru ends up falling asleep curled up on Naruto's lap. Naruto's delighted, of course, and holds him closer, but he also worries because it's getting late, and he doesn't want Konohamaru's family to worry. Shikamaru really hates to move him. He looks so happy and comfortable in Naruto's arms, not that that surprises him at all, so it's a shame he can't just stay… But he doesn't think the nurses would let him, and the last thing he wants is to get the kid in trouble.
Moving to sit beside Naruto, he holds out his arms. "I'll take him home," he whispers. Naruto nods, helping to maneuver Konohamaru into Shikamaru's arms as carefully as possible. Somehow, they manage it without waking him, and both boys breathe silent sighs of relief and grin each other's way. "You'll be okay by yourself till I get back?"
Naruto snorts and waves him off. "Hey, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. It'll only take a few minutes." He points at him with a serious eye. "But if you take too long, I'm coming after you myself." He shows him his hands with a toothy grin. "I'll walk on my hands like Bushy Brow. Just watch me."
Shikamaru can't help wheezing with laughter at the very idea. Honestly, this kid… With his hands full, he leans over to rest his forehead against Naruto's. "Try it, I dare you. I'll hog tie you and drag you back here with my shadows."
It's Naruto's turn to laugh. Messing around with Shikamaru is always fun! He salutes, the respect in it honest despite their bantering. He'd never lie about this. "Yes, sir!"
They're almost home when Konohamaru stirs.
It's dark outside, he notices first, then that the night air is a little chilly. He curls a little closer to…whoever's carrying him… His fingers curl in a standard-issue Chunin vest. Naruto can't walk right now, and he's not a Chunin, so it must be…
"S-Shikamaru…?"
Shikamaru holds him a little closer to reassure him. "Yeah, kid," he replies softly. "Don't worry, it's just me. You fell asleep, so I'm taking you home."
Relaxing a little more at knowing he's safe, Konohamaru hums in acknowledgement. Shikamaru thinks he's fallen back to sleep until he hears a soft "Hey…Shikamaru…?"
He looks down at him, hoping he didn't forget something he wanted to tell Naruto. "Yeah, what's up?"
A heartbeat, two. "I just…wanted to thank you…"
Raising an eyebrow, Shikamaru blinks a moment, almost stops. It's not like he and the kid are close or anything, so he can't imagine what he means. "Me? For what?"
Konohamaru smiles up at him like he's the dumbest, most precious genius he's ever met, and Shikamaru is even more confused. "Thank you for taking such good care of Naruto all this time…" Shikamaru opens his mouth to reply, but Konohamaru plows ahead. He wants to get this out. "He deserves better, the best, always has…and you're giving it to him… You've always been there, at least the way he tells it…on the sidelines, in the shadows…there if he needs you…" Shikamaru's eyes widen, and a flush springs to his face unbidden. To think Naruto told the kid all that… He wonders why, in what context…
Konohamaru laughs suddenly, bringing Shikamaru's attention back to him. "You know, Naruto'd probably never admit it 'cause he wouldn't want us to worry…but I'm sure he'd be really lonely in that room all by himself…" He yawns. Just the thought of Naruto being all alone like that for days or longer, too close to the days and months and years where he had absolutely no one, makes Shikamaru sick to his stomach. He does his best to shake it off. That's never going to happen, not while he's around. "Sometimes I wonder if maybe…that's why he used to sneak out of the hospital all the time… 'Cause if it wasn't to eat ramen, it was to train…and either way, there were always people around... Teuchi and Ayame at the ramen shop, and then the rest of you guys and others on the other training grounds…so it's not like he was really alone… Maybe it was…therapeutic for him…after being cooped up alone like that…" He yawns again and shrugs, snuggling into Shikamaru more. "I could be wrong, but…it's a working theory…"
Shikamaru, for his part, blinks down at the kid in impressed wonder. "Actually, Konohamaru, I think you're right on the money." He breathes a laugh. "I've had that same theory in mind for a few years myself."
Konohamaru chuckles, a proud flush coming.
"Well, whether we're right or not, I know Naruto's right about one thing…" He yawns, eyelids drooping. Shikamaru knows he won't last much longer. "You really are the best…"
Shikamaru's eyes widen. Where did that come from? Of course, by the time he looks back down at the kid, he's snoring softly into his chest, so he can't even ask. He breathes a chuckling sigh. Figures…
He looks back over his shoulder toward the hospital. If he had Hyuuga eyes, he knows he'd probably find Naruto craning his neck to keep an eye out for him. Honestly…that idiot…
Little does he know, two can play the adoration game.
Back at the hospital, Naruto is just waiting for Shikamaru to get back when he feels the Nine Tails stirring.
Hey, brat…
He closes his eyes, and the next thing he knows, he's back in its realm. It takes him a few blinks to adjust, but once he does, he's almost certain he wasn't imagining things. It definitely feels like there's the tiniest difference in temperature here now… How strange…
Looking up at the great beast, he answers, "Yeah, Nine Tails? What's up?"
The fox seems to study him for a long few moments, and Naruto shuffles his feet nervously. You keep calling me that.
Naruto blinks, tilts his head. "Calling you what? 'Nine Tails'?" He raises an eyebrow. "I mean, that's your designation between your fellow Tailed Beasts, right? So, isn't that—?" But then, what it could mean dawns on Naruto, and he gasps excitedly, beaming up at it. "Wait, does that mean—you have a name? Really?"
The Tailed Beast growls, tails lashing slightly. Of course I have a name, whelp! What do you take me for, a common beast?
Naruto waves his hands in his own defense, realizing now how that might have sounded. "N-no, no, nothing like that! It's just—no one's ever mentioned anything about you having a name before, that's all!" Scratching his head, he thinks back. "Although…come to think of it, I seem to remember Gaara saying the One Tail was called Shukaku…"
You really think any human has ever cared to learn our names? Your Sand Jinchuuriki, Gaara, only knew because of his father. The fox rolls its eyes, an irritated growl escaping. Shukaku is a loudmouthed fool with loose lips. Of course he'd let something so sacred slip so easily…
That gives Naruto pause. 'Sacred,' huh…?
Pressing his palms together, he bows his head. "If it's so important to you to be called by your name…then will you tell me? Please?" The Nine Tails stares, goes still. It only meant to tease him, rake him over the coals a little… It never thought he'd actually…want to know… Naruto's voice is softer when he speaks up next. "I…I know what it's like to feel like your name means nothing to others, and I don't want you to feel like that anymore, at least not with me! I don't want to be like them, the humans you hate! I want…to be a different kind entirely!"
A friend…!
The Nine Tails is even more struck than it was before. It's not sure… It…it's never… Its name, the only thing it has left that hasn't been tainted by wretched humans… The kind of trust it takes to reveal…and to extend it to a human…
"You don't have to tell me now, or ever, if you want," Naruto concedes, sensing its inner turmoil and wanting none of it. Raising his head, he offers a small smile. "I understand, believe me." And against all odds and instincts, somehow, it does. "But if or when you do?" Slowly, he flashes a thumbs up and a never-say-die grin. "I promise," he entreats softly, voice strong and steadfast and gravelly in that way the fox knows it only gets when he's at his most serious, blue eyes flashing, "I won't do wrong by you."
The fox remains silent and still, but Naruto isn't fazed. He knows he got through to it somehow, and that's all that matters. He can feel himself being slowly pushed out of its realm, and he chuckles, not really surprised. It needs time to collect itself. He doesn't mind. "Sleep well, Nine Tails!"
Naruto's just waking up in the real world again when he hears it.
In time…
He blinks at the slightly grudging whisper. "Huh?"
My name, brat… Perhaps, in time…you will be the first human to know it…
For a few moments, Naruto just…sits there. He's pretty sure he forgets to breathe, but sue him. Then, as if just realizing what happened, he beams with the best of them. "Thank you, Nine Tails!" he whispers. "I meant what I said, too, I swear! You can trust me!"
A low, dark chuckle. How quickly you humans forget. Trust is earned, brat…
Naruto gives a soft chuckle of his own, craning his neck to see out the window so he can keep an eye out for Shikamaru. Yeah, he knows that… Better than most.
"Fair enough…"
A/N: Naruto recognizing the parallel to Kakashi-sensei's first lesson and Ninja Way's sentence structure (in Yamato's 'I'm so happy you're safe' spiel) and Kurama recalling his sympathy for Kushina at the Hidden Eddy's destruction are actually references to two of those side projects I mentioned that I have coming! ;) Just as a little hint/Easter Egg kinda thing to hopefully get people intrigued (and it's fun for me)! lol.
Milestone note: With this chapter, this fic has officially broken 100k words! By about 5-6k or so! Woohoo! This is officially the longest cohesive thing I've ever written! Thank you so much for making it this far with me! I appreciate it so much! I couldn't ask for better readers! You guys are the best!
Naruto saying "I promise, I won't do wrong by you" to the Nine Tails is from Shippuden episode 247, "Target: Nine Tails".
Also, Naruto saying he knows what it's like to be treated like a nuisance and a germ instead of a person is a reference to his line to Iruka in Shippuden episode 177, "Iruka's Ordeal": "I'm not just a nuisance or some kind of germ, I'm a person, too! I am! I'm Naruto Uzumaki, don't forget it!"
SLIGHT DELAY NOTICE/UPDATE (2/19/21): I've been having some health issues recently (part of why this chapter took so long), and I JUST had my surgery this Tuesday (2/16), so I am NOT dead! I am still very sleepy and out of it due to the heavy meds they had to use on me (they warned me the meds and surgery itself would hit me hard since I'm so petite - 5'4", MAYBE 125 lbs, lol - and BOY, have they, haha)! I've been DYING to get back to writing, been doing what I can on ch 15 (it's almost 5k so far, probs gonna be around 6k or so by the time I'm done), but I'm gonna need some recoup time and hope to be back fully in a few weeks, give or take, though it'll all depend on how I'm feeling! I don't want to come back prematurely if I'm going to ruin the momentum I have going, you know? lol. Thanks SO much for being patient with me! You guys are the BEST! *heart*
Thanks so much for reading!