A/N: Hey so this is without a doubt the best thing I've ever written. No contest. Lol. Anywayyy it's INCREDIBLY emotional and heavy so let me give trigger warnings forrrr depictions of depression, unhealthy intimate relationships, underage-fade-to-black, self harm, aaand attempts of suicide!
𓍊𓍊 ~ Chapter Forty-two — Hypothermia ~ 𓍊𓍊
Natsuyo seemed to be a nice girl, at least from what Karin could gather from the short conversation they had after Naruto left. Summer warmth and spring purity… it was almost as if Naruto miraculously switched genders and duplicated himself. Seeing a girl like Natsuyo exist made Karin glad, in all honesty. Sensing how happy and untainted she was so easy to believe, it felt like a miracle, considering her own upbringing. It almost gave Karin the urge to protect it… girls like her needed to be protected from the hells that she endured.
Miya had that mindset, in a way. Karin loved and hated the talk they had. The utter disdain that poisoned the love in Miya's chakra was palpable—the fact that it was directed at her as well. Layers of guilt compounded on each other. Despite that, despite that… Miya still went out of her way to comfort her, to make her feel better, and even open up about her own bad experiences. Karin didn't deserve it.
Look at what Shinrai did. It was her fault. He allegedly went to his teammates' home just to brutalize him and her sister. What made it worse was how much of a pure soul Natsuyo was. Naruto was the most admirable person in the world to her. He went out of his way to find the brother that rejected him—and he fully expected for it to work out. That unbreakable will, that determination… It was unmistakable. Karin was a plague amongst the roster of good people Shinrai had backing him. Well, what did she know? She wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and slit her throat.
Her thoughts were frozen by the blizzard at the door. Karin's heart plummeted into her stomach as she hugged herself.
Shinrai was here.
The doorbell rang.
Naruto wasn't home.
He can't be here for me…
With a breath, Karin mustered all the courage she could. She sat up from the couch where she sat, walking over to the door, fighting against the blizzard of Shinrai's chakra. Just grabbing the doorknob to open it felt like an impossible task.
Somehow, she did it.
Karin stared at Shinrai, and her heart skipped a beat. His torso was charred with electrical scars, bruises and cuts riddled his body like an infection. One of his shoulders was broken. The dead look in his black eyes looked like frost-bitten fingers.
At the sight of her, his blizzard intensified into frozen daggers that stabbed her from every direction. Even still, Karin stood. Even still, Karin looked at him, right into his frostbitten eyes. Neither of them said a word.
However, Karin was the first to act. She put her hands on his shoulders, filling him with her healing chakra, keeping eye-contact. In just over a minute, all of his wounds mended themselves. By the second minute, he was in perfect physical condition.
His mind was just as tattered as ever. The grit and pain in her heart clenched like a fist. Make him better—she promised Naruto, she promised Miya, she promised to herself. She was going to help Shinrai get better… no matter what. It fell on her. It was her responsibility.
She was the one that broke him.
"Shinrai," she spoke, finally, the first between the two. "If there's anything you think I can do to help you, I will."
He blinked, his frosty chakra expanding outward. A chill went down Karin's spine as he grabbed her chin. His lips pressed into hers.
Karin's breath hitched—flashes of her time as his death angel impaled her mind. She placed her hand on his chest, stopping him from getting any closer. The way her shattered heart leapt at his kiss was deplorable—she shouldn't want to enjoy this, enjoy him. She didn't have the right but she wanted him anyway.
Shinrai came here to help himself… not her. But, with this, Karin was going to try to help herself too. Her hand slid off of his chest and let him in. She did the best that she could to put all of her care into her lips. She flung her arms around his neck and held on tight.
She tried and tried. Shinrai wasn't a sensor, but Karin was going to make sure he felt all of what she had.
I'm sorry.
I'll help you.
I'll try my best.
I'll make you feel better.
Was she going to?
She didn't know. The kiss wasn't making him feel any better. Maybe the attempt would make her feel better as well.
With a grunt, Shinrai pushed her back, making her walk into the home as he closed the door behind him. He obviously wasn't trying to hurt her, but he wasn't gentle with her either.
He kissed her harder, grabbing her back and pushing himself into her. It wasn't an embrace—but a desperate grasp for something that he didn't have. His cold chakra was pleading for warmth. It felt like he was dying—like a naked man stranded in a glacier. It was beyond frostbite, hypothermia was setting in and he cried for it to go away.
His face was dry, but frozen tears poured into his chakra.
Karin couldn't do a thing to stop it. Her arms tightened around him in the tightest embrace she could muster—she fucking hated this. She felt the lack of joy in his chakra—the lack of the joy he used to have. Dammit—she didn't enjoy this, she couldn't because Shinrai wasn't enjoying it either. It was all so wrong. Her guilt wanted her to pull away, but her tattered heart wouldn't let her. She covered her arms and body in her healing chakra to make him feel even better—to soothe her guilt. It didn't work. It was like throwing candles at an icecap.
Had she kissed him like this a few weeks ago then he'd be the happiest man alive. All of her torn heart was dedicated to bringing him back to life at this moment… just like he did to her. She had to restore his warmth; she had to restore his smile, the fire in his chakra.
She couldn't.
All Shinrai became was colder and colder. The lack of feeling in his numb chakra persisted. The corpse inside of him wasn't resuscitated at all. Frustration pooled into her grip, making him hold tighter, it filled her lips, she kissed him harder.
Shinrai ripped out of it. When he pulled back from her, he growled. A frustrated sneer ripped his face in two as he grabbed onto the clothes she wore—his clothes—like a desperate, injured child.
"Shinrai…" Karin muttered, her eyes wilting with empathetic melancholy.
He still hadn't said a word to her.
His arms let go of her back, and they fell limp at his side. Karin pulled his head down, laying him on her collar as she held him there, held him close. Shinrai only let it happen for a few seconds before he pulled back, shaking his head. He used his hands once again, one of them going up to her chest and grabbing it.
Oh… that's what he wants.
Karin let out a shaky breath as she let him feel on her. Part of her hoped that it wouldn't come to this… But she did it with him once before. What was another time… circumstances were better, anyway—and what fucking part of her believed that?
It hurt.
All of this hurt…
She knew this would too, but pushed on with the blind, ignorant hope that it wouldn't—that it would magically fix everything.
Karin grabbed his free hand and kissed his lips before leading him to his room, shutting the door.
—
Nothing… even after all of that. Shinrai's chakra only felt colder. Karin's gut wrenching, heart piercing guilt only became an abundance of nausea and pain. This wasn't good. None of this was good—this twisted display of failed affection. Of course it didn't work, of course it didn't work of fucking course!
He still hadn't said a word to her. Just thinking about him and her and the sickening frost of their souls melding made her ache and die on the inside. All of his terrible feelings went into her and he was left with less than nothing—why why why?! What more could she do to even try to help him? Was there anything that anyone could do?!
Sex was supposed to be an act of love and yet all they did was breed sorrow.
Wordlessly, Shinrai clothed himself and walked out of his room.
Karin's heart cracked as he just… left. Seriously?! He's just gonna leave—?! "Shinrai!" She didn't know why she wanted him to stay—this wasn't helping either of them… maybe they could at least suffer together.
He stopped at the calling of his name. His fists clenched and he glared at the floor beneath him. His chakra, it felt like a frozen corpse. It lacked all substance… it was just numb—so numb that it hurt. Just like it always had, feeling him hurt her, too.
Finally, Shinrai spoke. "I can't even fucking look at you."
Without another word, Shinrai exited.
Karin was alone.
"What the fuck?" Nobody was there to hear her. Nobody was there to comfort her. Karin had to stop her tears from spilling out of her eyes.
This really was everything Karin hated in a man.
Yet, she couldn't bring herself to hate Shinrai for it. After all, she was the one that killed him then made him dig his own grave. She didn't have the right to be angry about how it turned out.
It all came back to her.
All of this was her fault.
After all, she was everything she hated in a woman, too.
—
Shivua's fury. Why was the first thing she felt Shivua's fury—? Kusari growled and shot her eyes open, glaring and tensing everything as she choked down Shivua like a rock coated in bitter medicine. Immediately, she sat up from whatever bed she was in. White chakra was everywhere—Bonten—Hinata. Kusari's head whipped to the left and her eyes locked with the White Eyes of Hinata, a pale green mystic palm coating her hands.
As the memories flooded in, Shivua's fury was joined in by Kusari's panic. Shinrai—Is Shinrai okay?! She tried to move, but it felt like her bones were teeth stripped of enamel being boiled in acid. It burned—Kusari couldn't help but growl. She forced herself to sit up, regardless.
Through all of that, Hinata just watched her.
"What?!" spat Kusari.
Hinata pursed her lips, gaining a tight smile. "I admire you, Kusari."
"What do you mean?"
"You're a good friend." The genuine compliment only seemed to piss Kusari off. "I was watching when Shinrai came, battled you. I saw how you still tried to help him, you still saw his pain and went out of your way to help. That's admirable."
"And what does it matter?!" Kusari's everything hurt and she couldn't help but grab her head. "It didn't work. I didn't help him—I can't! I've been doing everything I can since he—" Kusari shook her head—she wanted to scream. "I can't help Shinrai. I can't help Neji. It's pathetic!" Her voice cracked and that only made Kusari grab her head harder.
"I can't help anybody and—" Kusari slammed her arms to the bed and glared at Hinata. "Is this how you feel?! Is this pathetic—uselessness how you feel every day of your worthless life?! No wonder you hate yourself so deeply."
"I…" Hinata frowned, white eyes darkening. "I assume it's something similar. I am sorry that you feel this way. In times like these, it's better to focus on what you have done. You supplied the Hyuuga the ability to rebuild themselves almost single-handedly. What you've done for the Hyuuga Clan in these past few days is extraordinary, and nothing can take that away from you."
Kusari was left speechless. The pain knotting in her chest was massaged by her words—it didn't go away—her word—Hinata's words. Kusari's lips curled with disgust. She threw herself out of the bed, ignoring how much it hurt to walk, how laborious her breaths were. Kusari needed to get away from her. Shivua was screaming too loudly in her head. A private tent inside of the Hyuuga's medical tent, she pushed the entrance open. After stopping to breathe and wallow in the pain she was in, Kusari kept moving.
She was never going to overuse her Dead Bone Pulse like this again.
Almost stumbling, she pushed open the medical tent to exit. Immediately, the familiar faces of her supporters outside bombarded her with concern.
"Lady Pearl Bones!'
"Are you alright?!"
"You've been unconscious for hours!"
"Praise the stars for Lady White Eyes' healing ability!"
"Have you recovered yet?"
At least Kusari appreciated the respectful physical distance they kept. "I'm fine…" she spoke, taking a breath. "I just need a while to rest."
"That's a relief!" A woman said, and the rest of her supporters cheered.
Kusari couldn't help but smile—
"—Damn that wretched Demon Twin for daring to mistreat you!"
The smile was slapped off of her face.
A scowl was put in its place by the fact that the rest of her supporters agreed. They cheered and jeered insult after insult. Insults toward Shinrai—insults toward her best friend. Without thinking, Kusari weaved hand seals. When she slammed her hand into the ground, a grotesque pyramid of bones elevated her above the crowd.
Gasps echoed with shock as Kusari screamed, "HOW DARE YOU!" Her bones wailed with agony, but Kusari didn't give a damn. "How dare you insult my closest friend to my face! Do you know what he's done for me?! Shinrai has done nothing but support and help me for as long as I could remember and you have the nerve to kick him when he's already at his lowest point?!"
Unconscious use of Shivua's fury made Kusari's hair raise when there was no breeze to blow it. The Hyuuga Clan looked terrified. "Without Shinrai, there would be no Lady Pearl Bones—SO YOU WILL TREAT HIM WITH THE SAME REVERENCE THAT YOU DO ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"
The Hyuuga were horrified into silence. A few nodded. Some ran off. Most didn't move a muscle. Regret seeped into Kusari's veins, but she couldn't bring herself to lose the fury. Everything was pulling her apart from the inside out. Fury and sorrow and regret and guilt and grief and powerlessness.
Kusari forced her Dead Bone Pulse to subside, decomposing the bones, and Kusari had to force herself to keep standing. Collapsing would be so easy. A hand on her shoulder made Kusari flinch with rage—it was Hinata. Twin pale lavender eyes reflected in each other. It was then when Kusari noticed the wetness in her own eyes.
Icy panic filled her veins as Kusari stormed off. Hide. Away. Kusari just needed to go far away. The painful knot in her chest tightened and tightened. Her overused bones whined and whined. Kusari's eyes still never cried. It was the closest she'd gotten years.
Even still… Kusari went away to hide.
It was cold.
—
Frosty, fatigued breaths fogged the small room—its walls were ice. Why was this the only way to get stronger? Baiko hated it. The way his body ached, the way he had to make others hurt. Training was terrible. Baiko's only saving grace was that he was good at it. The room he was forced to train in was freezing. Baiko wouldn't stop shivering, it was cold.
"Don't stop Baiko!" Lord Orochimaru hissed.
Gritting his teeth, holding back tears, Baiko pulsed his eyes. He could see every bit of Lord Orochimaru's chakra, even every single point, besides the ones that didn't exist in his arms. All of it was imprinted into his mind. The minute way that Lord Orochimaru molded his chakra, Baiko saw it, and replicated it himself.
Taijutsu, it was called. The art of hand to hand combat. It was the type that Baiko hated the most. The way his fists slammed into Lord Orochimaru, it hurt the both of them. His knuckles ached. Lord Orochimaru kicked his face, and he felt the blood pool as his cheek scraped against his teeth.
"Keep your jaw clenched, Baiko!"
Just that he did. It hurt. Everything was hurting, and Baiko hated it. With mirrored form and chakra reinforcement, Baiko hurled a leg into Lord Orochimaru's side. As much as Baiko loathed training like this… there was no way he'd stop. Baiko needed to be strong to save Shinrai from Konoha's clutches. Baiko needed to be strong to help Suigetsu achieve his goal of being the greatest swordsman. Baiko needed to be strong to help Jugo. Baiko needed to be the strongest to purge the evil from the Shinobi world.
It didn't matter how frigid this icy room was—it didn't matter how much he hurt. How many people were hurting like this? Baiko needed to fight. Not because he wanted to—but because it was the right thing to do. It was what had to be done. That was why Baiko didn't hold back in his training. That was why Baiko hurled his strikes toward Lord Orochimaru at full power. That was why Baiko imitated Lord Orochimaru's chakra usage—his Taijutsu form perfectly into himself. That was why he replicated it flawlessly.
Despite everything, how much it hurt… seeing Lord Orochimaru's proud smirk made it even more worth it. "Excellent work, Baiko! Outstanding!"
Even through the pain, that brought a smile to Baiko's face. He tried even harder.
I'm going to help you, Suigetsu, just stay by my side.
I'm going to help you as well, Jugo, just hang on tight.
I'm going to save you, Shinrai… just wait for your big brother.
I'm coming.
—
Naruto had really been kept waiting by his brother. There wasn't any rhyme or reason to the training ground that Naruto chose to sit in, legs crossed. It was just the first empty one that Naruto found. Konoha Crush took its toll on this one, though. All the grass was ash, mixed in with uprooted soil. All the trees were knocked asunder, missing leaves and sloppily collapsed on top of each other. It wasn't pretty, but that didn't matter; it didn't need to be. All Naruto needed was a place where only he and Shinrai were the ones hurting.
So, he waited. Shinrai was going to seek him out eventually, and Naruto knew that better than anyone. His brother only came when the sun set. A flicker kicked up dust and Naruto let out a sigh at Shinrai's familiar presence. "Took 'ya long enough, Shinrai."
"Fight me." His demeanor was dead; he stood as still as a corpse frozen on the summit of a mountain. This wasn't Shinrai, yet he was standing in front of Naruto all the same.
Naruto stood up, too, feeling his will harden and harden and harden. "How many people have you said that to, huh?"
"It doesn't fucking matter." Shinrai glared, lifeless tomoe hanging in his eyes like they were on nooses.
Naruto's jaw clenched as he dug his nails into his palm. "Yeah, I know it doesn't. It's like nothing I ever said mattered to you." Slowly, Naruto raised his tightening fist until it pointed directly at his brother.
Golden chakra whirled around Naruto's fist, the understanding golden chakra. "You're not going to hurt anybody else, Shinrai. You should've come to me from the beginning! You always made my pain your responsibility, and now your pain is my responsibility, whether you like it or not."
That only made Shinrai's eyes glow with rage as the force of his chakra almost made his hair stand. All it took was a flicker for Shinrai to break Naruto's nose. Pain ached through Naruto's skull and blood dripped out of his nose. Despite the pain, Naruto wouldn't have it any other way.
Let it all out, Shinrai.
Shinrai grabbed Naruto by the collar and pulled him into an uppercut. Naruto's gut rattled—he almost fell to his knees. A backhand quaked his skull. Shinrai's leg speared Naruto's chest—ribs cracked—his brother screamed. Like a madman, Shinrai chased down the stumbling Naruto. Punch after punch. Kick after kick. Shinrai unloaded an assault that buried Naruto in pain. Cracking bones, cutting and bruising, all from Shinrai's fists.
Naruto took each and every one.
It lasted for too long. There wasn't any life returning to Shinrai's eyes. His fists were as heavy as limp bodies—it was as if even punching was a struggle. So, Naruto fought back. His shaking, golden fist rammed into Shinrai's chest. It didn't do a thing to damage him. That wasn't the point. Golden chakra seeped into Shinrai's system.
Naruto expected to feel pain. There wasn't any. Naruto couldn't even say that this wasn't his brother, because that would mean there was something else in its place. No emotions… he was lifeless. All the layers of cold and frostbite compounded into… this. No true emotions—Shinrai was trying to feel anything, but he couldn't feel a thing.
With shock and fear widening his eyes, Naruto looked up—into his brother's Sharingan.
All he saw was fear.
—
That night, Shinrai couldn't sleep. Frostbite. Frostbite. Frostbite. He was only getting worse and worse. Why did he abandon Naruto? Why couldn't he love Karin anymore? Why couldn't he act like himself? The cold was always there, but never like this. What was the point of living if he couldn't live at all?
Miya's bed was warm. Miya's house was warm. Miya's hugs were warm. Miya was warm. But all he got from her was cold. Did he still love her? Was the ability to love ripped from him? Nothing mattered. Everything mattered. Everything was numb, yet he felt scared. Everything was numb, yet he felt angry. Nothing made sense.
He just wanted it all to end. Why didn't it end? Who hated him so much to make him feel like this?
Shinrai's eyes stayed open far past even when the sun rose.
It wasn't until noon when he left the bed.
—
Karin and Kusari. Shinrai went out and hurt Karin and Kusari, too! The hypothermia consuming his brother was making him into a monster. To Naruto, monsters weren't evil, just people consumed in misunderstanding. Monsters were still human. After all, they were both called monsters growing up.
"Let me help you—" Naruto barely managed to block a punch. It was like Shinrai couldn't hear him—he wouldn't speak. Naruto wasn't going to be ignored—Shinrai was going to say something back. All of Naruto's hits Shinrai took like they were nothing. Right now, ever since his fight with Orochimaru, Shinrai was getting colder and colder and colder—only worse. Naruto was going to stop that, right here, right now.
I'm going to get you back, Shinrai.
Naruto's will was imprinted into Shinrai with the golden chakra's connection—the sentiment made Shinrai scream. "You can't understand me—!"
"Yes, I CAN!" declared Naruto, thrusting a fist into Shinrai's chest. It was more like a fist bump than a punch. "I'm feeling everything you're feeling right now! Don't use that bullshit excuse anymore."
"If you feel me, then you understand there's nothing there!" Shinrai clenched his fists. He wailed before slamming an elbow into Naruto's temple.
The hit staggered Naruto, made his vision blur, but he remained standing. He remained standing because he'd never back down, never fall, never break, never give up. "You're wrong! I'm here!" Shinrai's icy, empty fury was seeping into Naruto and that made his teeth grit. "It doesn't matter what you think, Shinrai! What you're thinking is wrong, what you're doing is wrong.
"It doesn't matter how much it hurts me—how much I hate feeling all the nothing you're feeling! I'm going to make you feel again!"
Shinrai just wailed like a soul tortured in purgatory. Adamantine Chains poured from his back and clobbered Naruto. Unbreakable numbness. Glacial golden chains came down like hail onto Naruto. He couldn't do a thing to defend—it was hopeless.
But since when did that mean a thing to Naruto Uzumaki?
With a roar, Naruto bombarded Shinrai with all of his emotions. "I'M GOING TO HELP YOU SHINRAI!" Not only his words, but all of his feelings. They were hot, searing determination. Naruto was going to melt the ice that was killing his brother. Shinrai fell to his knees—he wouldn't stop shaking. Embers flickered in Shinrai's heart. It was working!
"I'm going to help you, Shinrai!" Naruto pushed through the chains that tore him apart. "I'm going to help you no matter what! I'm always going to be there!"
"YOU CAN'T!" yelled Shinrai—the cold was overpowering Naruto once again.
No, absolutely not. Unbreakable will compounded over and over and over. Naruto wasn't going to let his brother succumb to the cold. It didn't matter that Shinrai thought it was too late. All of his icy screams were cries for help. Naruto was that unbreakable hand that will forever reach out to those in need—especially his brother. Naruto was the lifeline that Shinrai could cling to. The Adamantine Chain to Shinrai's heart.
Naruto's own back erupted with unbreakable gold. They stopped Shinrai's Adamantine assault—because Naruto could counter with his own. Life widened Shinrai's eyes, his tomoe flowed freely and Naruto stared right into them.
Everything that needed to be said was spoken in their gaze.
—
Sometimes, Shinrai thought it was better off to not listen to Naruto. They had just started the Academy, so they wanted to celebrate with some new clothes. The shopkeeper kicked them out. Naruto was sad. It made him cry. That bastard made his brother cry.
Naruto, however, said to leave him alone.
Yet, Shinrai found himself at the store around closing hours. The bastard was going to pay. Just that he did. Shinrai dropped a couple of toys, leading him into an alley from a rooftop that he climbed upon.
The moment he was shrouded in the shadows… Shinrai leapt onto him. Even as a child, Shinrai beat the grown man down. It wasn't easy… but Shinrai did it. "DON'T YOU DARE MESS WITH MY BROTHER AGAIN?! YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
A bloody fist made its way into the bastard's broken nose again. The idiot shopkeeper had the nerve to cry. It served him right… he made Naruto cry, too. Shinrai grabbed him with both hands by the collar and slammed him into the concrete over and over again. "ANSWER YOU BASTARD!" Blood flew from Shinrai's bleeding mouth, his teeth stained red.
A shaky nod made Shinrai release him. "Okay! Okay! I won't anymore!"
"Good…" Shinrai stumbled off of him. "If you do, I'll show you how much of a Demon this half of the Demon Twins can be…" His black eyes melded with the shadows as Shinrai glared at the man.
Getting up, the bastard ran through the opposite side of the alley. Shinrai watched him until he was out of sight. With a sigh, Shinrai turned to walk home. All that was left now… was to find a way to hide this from Naruto…
—
At the force of Naruto's Adamantine Chains, Shinrai was shocked into almost stillness. Naruto fought off his brother's Adamantine as both of them stood their ground. Among the battle of Adamantine Chains, neither of them budged an inch. Azure eyes hardened with the expansive majesty of the sky. Scarlet eyes melted with the deepest death of blood. Gritting his teeth, Shinrai finally drew one of his blades, his namesake blade, the ivory one.
A slash was blocked by Naruto's Adamantine. Shinrai's kick was not. It buckled Naruto's leg and a punch rocked his brain. Shinrai slammed the hilt of the Grass Cutter into Naruto's cheek—it broke. Adamantine snaked around Shinrai and hurled him into the ground. Dust and dirt kicked up as Shinrai stabbed the ground, weaving hand signs.
"Fire Style: RAGE AGAINST EVERYTHING!" The dirt and ash kicked up and charred as Shinrai belted the fiery jutsu toward Naruto. Of course, Naruto's Adamantine Chains blocked the jutsu without issue. Colder and colder.
"If there's one good thing that came out of all this…" Naruto's fists clenched as he lowered his Adamantine shield. "You don't have any more lies to hide behind."
Shinrai was still getting colder and colder; it eruptedlike a frigid geyser. A flicker and Shinrai was behind Naruto. An elbow to the shoulder blade almost knocked him into the ground face first. The slash to his lower back brought him even further. Naruto still stood strong. With grit teeth, Naruto sent an Adamantine Chain at Shinrai—
It only hit his after-image. A kick to the forehead was blocked by his headband—Naruto's brain still quaked in his skull. With a swirl, Shinrai cut Naruto down the chest. Naruto's chin was abused by a headbutt from Shinrai. Adamantine from Shinrai's back throttled Naruto as he screamed—that hypothermic pain.
"DOES THAT PISS YOU OFF THAT MUCH?!"
"SHUT UP!"
Colder and colder. Shinrai was getting worse—Naruto growled, weaving the Ram Seal. Crimson chakra belted off of him. Kyuubi's laughter echoed in his head—Shinrai heard him, too. Naruto's nails grew, so did his fangs—both sharpened. Crimson slits glowed in Naruto's eyes. All of his wounds looked like they never even happened.
"You hid behind lies your whole life! You were always lying, saying you were okay when you weren't! Your lies have done nothing but hurt us BOTH! You're the reason why things are like this now!" Naruto stomped forward. "I CAN SEE YOU NOW, SHINRAI! I'LL NEVER UNSEE YOU AGAIN!"
"So… what?!" Shinrai screamed, trembling—freezing and quivering. "So what if you can see everything I've hidden?! This worst part of me?! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO FIX ME!"
All Naruto heard was Shinrai crying for help.
Of course, Naruto answered them. "This isn't the real you! I know who he is! I'LL SHOW YOU RIGHT NOW!" Naruto weaved hand signs. "Wind Style: Guttural Gust!" Sharp blades of wind blasted through the air, cutting through the dirt on its way to Shinrai. He took it. The activation of his Special Chakra did nothing to help him feel. It seemed he was used to that now, at least. Silence sharpened Shinrai's gaze. Gates… opened. Shinrai listened—Shinrai was listening. Frost expanded to let Naruto's heat in.
Frigid focus from Shinrai's end stabbed into Naruto. Then show me who I am… Shinrai's will begged.
Shinrai flickered forward, Naruto blocked his slash with a kunai. Adamantine from Naruto's back clobbered Shinrai. With his own Adamantine, Shinrai whipped at Naruto's—but Naruto's was stronger. The unbreakable will of Naruto's chains overpowered Shinrai's.
Rolling and dodging, Shinrai weaved more hand signs, flickering behind Naruto and slamming something beneath the floor. Naruto's chain whipped him away, but Shinrai weaved the seal of releasing fire style. "Uzumaki Flaming Whirl!" From below Naruto, a helix of fire spewed upward and scorched him. Crying out, Naruto leapt out of the fires, smoking with Kyuubi's chakra healing his wounds.
The moment he exited the fire, Shinrai's fist punched him back in. Shinrai's own Adamantine wrapped around Naruto as he slammed them both onto the flaming whirl. The utter insanity of his brother made Naruto growl—he was cooking them both. Naruto could regenerate. Shinrai couldn't.
"You idiot!" screamed Naruto before throwing him off with his own Adamantine Chains. Burns ached before they were healed. From a dozen feet away, Shinrai and Naruto made eye-contact. Shinrai wasn't getting any colder—he was the same. He wasn't getting better—but at least he wasn't getting worse.
Naruto couldn't help but smirk.
Shinrai couldn't reciprocate.
A flicker from both and they matched each other. Blow for blow; neither of them budged an inch. Jutsu for Jutsu; they were dead even. Adamantine for Adamantine—Naruto's was stronger. Seal for Seal—Shinrai took that. Naruto had to slow Kyuubi's regeneration to not run out of chakra, any damage that Shinrai took only made him stronger.
Shinrai's Sharingan whirled, and Naruto couldn't help but grin. Embers. Flickers of excitement—a campfire on a glacier! Progress! Shinrai's getting better. Naruto grinned and punched Shinrai right in the face. The impact launched Shinrai back, but he landed on his feet, lighting his namesake blade with Entrusted Flame and flickering toward Naruto.
A dodge allowed for Naruto to fly a knee into Shinrai's chest. He took the impact just to slash at Naruto's shoulder. Pain radiated through both of them, but victory made Naruto grin at his brother. All Shinrai did was match his eye contact… he still couldn't reciprocate.
—
Naruto sobbed. Shinrai hated when Naruto cried. Why did Konoha have to hate his brother like this? He didn't deserve it—he never deserved any of this. It had been the day since Naruto was born, according to him. Six years… six years of pain and loneliness that Naruto didn't deserve. At least Naruto had him now…
Shinrai held his brother in his arms, patting his back, soothing him. Seeing Naruto cry always made Shinrai want to cry, too. But, he couldn't. What would he look like if he started crying? How could he comfort somebody who cried while he was crying, too? Shinrai forced his eyes to be dry.
It was for Naruto's sake.
"It's gonna be okay, Naruto! I'm here! I'll always be here to help you! I'll always make sure you're okay, Naruto! Do y'know why? Because I'm your brother, and that's what brothers do!"
Sniffling, Naruto looked up from the wet spot on Shinrai's red shirt. A slow smile spread across his face. "Yeah… thanks, Shinrai!" Naruto sat up and grinned. Shinrai smiled back. "And you're right! If you're ever sad, I'll be here with you, too! Every time, because that's what brothers do, believe it!"
"Yeah…" lied Shinrai. There was no way he could cry in front of Naruto. What right did he have? Naruto had dealt with this longer than Shinrai had. It was his job to make sure Naruto didn't cry at all. That meant Shinrai couldn't cry either.
But lying to Naruto made him feel bad.
He couldn't help it.
So, he lied again. "I gotta go uh… use the bathroom!" Shinrai scurried off to the toilet. Instead of using the bathroom, he hid in the shower and cried. He made sure to get all of his tears out… because after this, Shinrai was never going to cry again.
Never, ever again.
—
A blizzard tore the smile off of Naruto's face. Shinrai just fell to his knees and screamed. Again and again, Shinrai screamed and Naruto watched with pain butchering his Kyuubi-featured face. Naruto didn't feel… anything—the embers were gone. There was a void where Shinrai should be. There was a void of anguish, confusion, and rage. It was all directed inward—Shinrai tried to hurt himself with his own glacial daggers. It didn't work and that only made him try harder—
"—STOP IT!"demanded Naruto, stepping forward.
Shinrai just punched the dirt, ripping the little grass that managed to grow in the field to nothing. He wouldn't stop—he couldn't stop. Leaving—Shinrai was sucking himself into his own hypothermic void. His Sharingan went dull, and he tried to leave—an Adamantine Chain wrapped around Shinrai's neck.
"You're not going anywhere!"yelled Naruto. Again, Shinrai tried to leave again—anger sparked in Naruto's unbreakable will to help. It went up in flames. Shinrai felt it—he bathed in it—he rejected it. The golden chakra of understanding, Shinrai tried to cut it. Naruto stopped it.
Shinrai glared and belted out another cry, fighting as Naruto released the Adamantine. "I CAN'T FEEL THE WAY I DID BEFORE!" Shinrai trembled where he stood and he was slipping further and further.
Naruto glared in kind, his chakra melded with the Kyuubi's and burst. "SO?! That doesn't mean you can turn your back on me! JUST LIKE THE REST OF KONOHA DOES!"
Shinrai grit his teeth and flickered forward—a slash was blocked and so was a kick. This wasn't how Shinrai fought. Disjointed, sloppy hits. He was just lashing out—he gave up on fighting properly. Naruto could block him easily. Naruto's heart thundered and pumped in his chest. What was he supposed to do—?
All Shinrai was doing was hating himself—self inflicted loathing suffocated Shinrai in his own scars. The fact that he was feeling himself feeling like this made Shinrai hate himself more. It was a never-ending loop—it was like Naruto wasn't even there. Just something for Shinrai to punch.
What do I do?
What do I do?
What do I do?
"JUST GIVE UP!" wailed Shinrai as Naruto dodged an unrefined backhand. "I can't heal! I'M DONE! You're better off without me!"
Who was he talking to?! "I'll never do something like that!"
"GIVE UP!"
"NO!"
Shinrai roared, and for a second, all of his chakra focused. Fire burned on Shinrai's fingertips. A flicker past what even Naruto could see—flames charred through Naruto's jacket, right above where the Kyuubi's seal was.
"Just put me out of my fucking misery."
—
Shinrai had never gotten mad at Naruto like this. He broke his favorite toy! It made no sense that Naruto was mad for Shinrai breaking his favorite toy in revenge! It was only fair!
"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE! IT'S DIFFERENT!"
"NUH UH! IT STILL HAPPENED!"
They'd been shouting and yelling for forever and both of them were over it.
"How about I just beat you up then?!" Shinrai stomped forward.
Naruto huffed, stomping forward as well. "I was just about to say the same thing!"
With that, the two boys tackled each other. They rustled and tousled for hours, both of them ended up with nosebleeds. But, it ended up being fun. It turned into a game after a while, the first one to have the other on their back for three seconds lost, just like the WWE! Neither of them ended up winning, and they got tired. But… it ended up starting a pattern. Each time they were pissed at each other, they fought.
It always helped them both.
—
Naruto screamed and Kyuubi cackled within his head. Your brother is a genius isn't he?! Boiling crimson chakra erupted out of the seal as Shinrai burned it. Before Naruto knew it, two tails encased him, and Kyuubi's laughs overshadowed even the feeling of Shinrai's hypothermia.
For his contribution to the Bijuu's cause, I'LL SLAUGHTER HIM!
Panic sent ice into Naruto's veins and anger just erupted upward in every direction. "SHINRAI WHY WOULD YOU—?!"A tail slammed his brother into the dirt. He didn't move for a second. Blood dripped from his crimson hair as Shinrai stood… bleeding.
If you want to save him so badly, then just try to stop me. Kyuubi's cloak lurched forward and Naruto forced himself to stay still. A disjointed punch slammed into Naruto's face and he stumbled back. Fear and fury. Fear and fury. Fear and fury.
"PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY NARUTO!"Shinrai weaved more hand signs and another Rage Against Everything spewed from his mouth. A Kyuubi roar nullified the jutsu. The chakra forced him to move forward. A claw ripped Shinrai's chest open and blood poured.
I don't think Shinrai has suffered enough… don't you? Naruto stood still, putting all of his will into suppressing Kyuubi's Chakra—Adamantine Chains held back tails. That bit of suppression allowed for a moment's control. Shinrai leapt at Naruto and thrusted his foot into his chest. It pushed Naruto back as more Adamantine encased him. Sloppy sword slashes, disjointed fists, broken kicks. Shinrai was just throwing himself at Naruto.
All of this bullshit. ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT. Done. Naruto was done, and he felt something break as Shinrai wailed and wail—He and Kyuubi's will became one as Naruto punched Shinrai. It launched Shinrai but before he could get far, an Adamantine Chain encased him and Naruto slammed Shinrai down into the dirt.
A third tail bubbled to the surface, and the chain tightened around Shinrai. Kyuubi wouldn't stop laughing as Naruto screamed back. "NO I WON'T PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY! HEAR ME OUT NOW! YOU'RE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT RIGHT NOW! YOU WON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME AND I WON'T BE IGNORED! NOT ANYMORE! I'M SICK OF YOU SHINRAI!"
Naruto recalled the chain faster than he himself could blink. All three tails of Naruto and Kyuubi's assault clobbered Shinrai. His Special Chakra must have been having a field day. Punch, kick, clobber, smash, everything. Fiery fury and putrid panic drove every one of Naruto's attacks. It was so overwhelming that Naruto didn't notice the tears welling in his own eyes.
Shinrai was a bloody mess on the floor and even still he stood, blood falling down his face like tears. That entire physical assault didn't do a thing—Shinrai couldn't come back. All of Naruto's emotions poured into Shinrai and that didn't do a thing—Shinrai couldn't come back.
"You can't help me…" Shinrai said. Resignation rang clearly in his tone. The only thing alive about Shinrai was the activation of his Special Chakra and the fact that his heart was still beating. Everything else had frozen off.
Naruto despised the feeling in his gut as he clenched his fists.
"I'm a disgrace—" Shinrai continued as he tried to breathe but it came out shallow. "I'm stuck in this cold—you can't understand—"
"YES I DO!"
"THEN TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!" Shinrai begged.
Naruto didn't have anything to give—Kyuubi cackled and Naruto kept going pale. There was nothing where Shinrai was. Nothing, nothing, and nothing. Nothing had brought horror to Naruto like this had.
There was nothing because Shinrai had given up on himself.
Naruto was trying to pick up somebody who refused to stand.
The understanding chakra wasn't working because Shinrai couldn't understand himself and wasn't trying to.
What can I do—?
"IF YOU WANT TO HELP SO BAD THEN TAKE THIS ALL AWAY!" Shinrai cupped his hands. Scarlet chakra roared in a storm of swirls. An empty helix formed. There wasn't even a spiral to make Shinrai go round. Yet, the Rasengan formed as perfectly as ever.
"PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!" Shinrai begged as he ran forward with the Rasengan in hand.
Kyuubi's will made the cloak boil and Naruto formed a Rasengan. Orange dyed red into vermillion in his hand. This had to end it. Shinrai was going to be fine—Naruto just had to stop this. Naruto held himself back with all the control he could muster.
With that, Naruto ran forward to match Shinrai.
—
Naruto and Shinrai just… sat on the couch. Both of them had their headbands, and their couch was heavenly after Papa Ryu fixed up the place. Moments like these were nice, but they lasted too long.
"C'mon! Shinrai! Let's do something! I'm bored!"
"Nah…" Shinrai shook his head.
Naruto kicked his feet and groaned. "C'mon!"
"Just… enjoy the moment Naruto. Sitting down and existing is fun, too, y'know?" Shinrai looked toward Naruto and smiled.
Naruto was ready to disagree… but he didn't. That smile that Shinrai had, it was one he rarely showed. It wasn't a massive grin, like what he had. No, it was small. But the fact that his whole face was relaxed, the way his black eyes glowed,
It was the same smile somebody would have on their deathbed after living a life without regrets.
That would've scared Naruto, but he knew that he and Shinrai wouldn't die for a hundred years, after Naruto became Hokage, Shinrai married the best girl in the world, and they raised their families together to be as close as they were. So, that was fine.
Shinrai smiled a lot, but Shinrai rarely smiled like this. It meant he was really really happy. So… Naruto enjoyed it, too.
Anytime when Shinrai was happy, Naruto was happy.
Nothing could take that away from them.
—
Shinrai's Sharingan faded to black. The Rasengan in his hand went out. He stopped using his Special Chakra. All the activity in his chakra just… stopped. He didn't stop running. Shock and horror overtook Naruto like a plague as Naruto's Rasengan continued to barrel toward Shinrai's head at full speed. Even Kyuubi had a spike of fear as he tried to pull his chakra back. It was futile.
Time slowed with Naruto's panic on Shinrai's face. There was no smile on his face and no light in his eyes. Though, one thing was clear. Relaxation made Shinrai's face… peaceful. No longer did hypothermia consume Shinrai. He wasn't cold anymore. He wasn't warm, either. Peace rang like a gong and Naruto's eyes went wide.
All Shinrai could feel was relief that it'd finally be over.
Closer, closer—he and Kyuubi weren't fast enough. The Rasengan was about to hit hi—
—Adamantine Chains pulled Naruto away from Shinrai at the same time they wrapped around him like a mummy. Seals held him in place and all of Kyuubi's Chakra evaporated away. Shinrai's collar was grabbed and he was yanked away from Naruto, being suspended in the air as Ryu glared at him. Miya, on the other hand, tended to Naruto.
"Shinrai, what the fuck is wrong with you?!" yelled Ryu, glaring at Shinrai as he threw him to the floor.
"Ryu!" Miya yelled, glaring at him. "What—?"
"He released the Kyuubi's Chakra, Miya," spat Ryu with his ire pointing toward Miya. "Shinrai purposefully weakened Naruto's seal."
Her eyes went wide as she stared at Naruto and Shinrai. "Is this true?!"
Slowly, shakily, Naruto nodded.
I almost killed Shinrai.
Shinrai wanted me to kill him.
His brother, on the other hand, just stared at the charred dirt blankly. The connection between their emotions was killed… or was Shinrai just that empty now? Miya grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him and looking him in the eyes. "Shinrai." Her tone was as dangerous and sharp as his Grass Cutter. "Do you have any idea how stupid what you just did is?"
"Stupid is a goddamned understatement." Ryu crossed his arms. "There is a reason why the Kyuubi is sealed. Because it almost erased Konoha off of the map. You dare mess with its seal?! You put the entire village at risk, you idiot!"
"It would've killed Naruto too!" Miya yelled. "He would've died and you would've been the one to kill him! All of Konoha would've been destroyed once again, and you would've been the one to do it! Don't you ever do anything so reckless again, do you understand me?!"
Shinrai sighed. "Kill me and make sure of it."
Immediately, Miya slapped him across the face. "Don't you dare say that."
"Sorry…" muttered Shinrai, unreactive to the slap.
Ryu glared at Shinrai while Miya let out a sigh. "Shinrai. I know that you're not okay, but that's no reason for you to be acting like this!" She waved her hand at Ryu. "Look at Ryu, he's been through so much and yet he's never broken down and became a threat to Konoha! Not like you're doing right now."
—
Hearing Miya speak positively of him was not on Ryujin's bingo cards for today. Well, neither was Shinrai weakening Naruto's seal for… whatever reason. Clearly as day, Ryujin sensed Shinrai, or rather, he didn't. In all honesty, he felt like a corpse. Cold, numb, writhing with self loathing.
Ryujin… understood, to an extent. So, it wasn't hard for him to gather why Shinrai did what he did. Watching Miya try to get through to him was… sad, on a multitude of levels. Naruto, on the other hand, just sat enchained in Miya's Adamantine, silent and in pain just like he once did. Guilt and self loathing radiated off of him like a dying star. Sensing Naruto like that hurt, there was no denying that at all.
But, well, what could he do?
"Shinrai, promise me that you won't do anything like this again." Miya had her finger pointed in his chest with a rightfully intense glare in his eyes.
"...I won't."
Ryujin could tell he wasn't lying, but he didn't exactly believe himself either.
Miya finally let go again. A flicker later and Shinrai was out of sight.
In the direction where Shinrai left, Ryujin narrowed his eyes and stared. Hypothermia wisted in the wind. I need to keep an eye on him.
At the same time, Miya finally released Naruto from the Adamantine, repairing his seal and strengthening it. Right after, Naruto threw himself into a hug around Miya. Without missing a beat, Miya hugged him back.
Care rang in her golden chakra while Naruto's cracked.
"Ms. Miya… I don't…" Naruto bumbled. Tears welled in his eyes, and he shook his head. "I tried everything. I don't know how to help him—he just kept getting worse. I did everything I could. I tried to be there, but nothing worked. I want him to be okay—I want him to stop hurting people, I want him to be by my side again—I just want my brother back." Naruto started to sob and Miya held on tighter.
Miya rubbed his back, shushing him, soothing him like he was a child. When they were Shinobi… it was hard for Ryujin to remember that they barely had a decade of life behind them. After all, Ryujin was a soldier by six.
Finally, the two separated. Ryujin was still here for some reason. Miya held Naruto's hand as she walked toward him. Looking up, Ryujin met her eyes; he could already feel the guilt—the helplessness rising in her emotions.
"Please, Ryu… help him." Her fists clenched and she looked down; Naruto looked up at him too. That gave Ryujin the urge to look away. "For weeks I've tried to get through to him, but I can't. He's been through too much—he's not the same anymore.
"I know you can understand him, so maybe, maybe you can get through to him." Miya took a breath. "I have no right to ask for anything from you—but this isn't for me, this is for him. Shinrai needs to be okay again… You're the only person that can help."
Naruto… didn't say a word. That hurt.
Ryujin sighed. He couldn't bring himself to agree to what she wanted… outwardly. Grunting, he turned his back and left.
He left in the same direction that Shinrai did.
The relief in both Naruto and Miya was clear.
Ryujin… couldn't help but take solace in the fact that he brought Naruto some positivity.
—
It was so cold that Shinrai couldn't even… feel cold anymore. It was beyond the frigid hurt of frostbite. Nothing felt like anything. Only a corpse could feel this cold—I'm dead. The sun had set already. The trees above covered the stars. He couldn't bring himself to want to go to Miya's home.
He never held Yora so tight—her hilt and her blade. Even the bleeding made him feel nothing. All the injuries he took made him feel nothing. The activation of his Special Chakra only made him worse. Karin made him worse. Naruto only helped for less than a damned minute.
What even was this?! Why couldn't he be human again? Why couldn't he be alive again? What was stopping him? What was making him feel like this? Karin ruined everything. Orochimaru ruined everything. Had Karin just died would he be feeling right now? Had he killed Orochimaru would he be feeling right now? Had he saved Baiko would he be feeling right now?
What could he have done differently so he could feel right now?
Obviously, there was nothing he could do currently.
Shinrai was trapped in a glacial prison with frosted chains restraining him. No matter how hard he fucking tried no matter what he fucking did there was no getting out. There was no light at the end of this endless tunnel of fucking misery.
Please.
Please.
Shinrai cradled Yora in his arms and begged. "Please… just—"
A snapping twig—Shinrai was on his feet, pointing Yora at whoever had entered.
It was Ryu.
"The fuck do you want?!" Shinrai couldn't put anything besides volume in his voice. His grip on Yora was shaky—his legs could barely fucking support him.
Ryu sighed. "One of the Kyuubi's abilities… it's the ability to sense the intent and emotions of others. For a while, I've been sensing you. I want to… talk to you. I've been where you are, it's not fun."
The words spoken to Shinrai literally felt like the still air around him. "What does that have to do with fucking anything?!" screamed Shinrai, his frigid frustration threatening to bring him to his knees.
Ryu looked away, wincing. "Listen I… I want to help you. I've been through my own shit, and that led to me being a shit sensei. I'm sorry… but I see you, I can feel your pain, or lack of it, or whatever. I've been through what you have. I even had my own idiot streak that put everyone at risk.
"When… the Snake Sannin was revealed to be a traitor, I was furious. I went after him myself." Ryu clenched his jaw. "It didn't end well. I lost control of the Kyuubi. I almost killed Miya, Lord Jiraiya, and Lord Third… and the Snake Sannin would've escaped. Luckily, it didn't end that way. The same went for you with yours."
Shinrai just stared blankly as Ryujin outstretched his hand. "I can help you, Shinrai. I just need you to let me."
Instead of trying to cut the fucking hand off, Shinrai stabbed Yora into the dirt.
Just like everyone else, Ryujin made him feel nothing.
"You really should've kept fucking off like you have been since the last—fucking forever!" Shinrai tried to laugh he tried to scream he tried to cry. He didn't care to label what demonic sound ripped from his mouth.
"YOU CAN'T HELP ME!" Shinrai inhaled daggers into his lungs. "You can't help me, nobody can help me—AND I FUCKING HATE EVERYONE WHO TRIES! You're a shit sensei, a shit papa, and you've done nothing for nobody since you were fucking born!"
His heart was pumping ice into his veins faster and faster. It would've hurt had he been who he used to be. Shinrai tried to yell at him but his fast breaths wouldn't let him. He just curled into a ball and screamed.
Ryujin just… looked at him. "Shinrai—"
"I TOLD YOU TO FUCK OFF!"
A last, bitter sigh. Ryujin pulled his hand away and just… walked off.
Why did he tell him to leave?
Maybe Ryu could've helped him.
Why didn't he let him?
Time warped in Shinrai's arctic mind as he trembled in a ball under the night sky. Rocking back and forth for minutes or hours didn't do anything to help him. The stars passed over him. Regret froze his blood into serrated daggers. Everything was getting worse there was no feel there was just a type of hurt that was so numb—it was impossible to describe. It got worse why wouldn't something just put him out of his fucking misery why was he like this why couldn't it end.
End end end he wanted it to fucking end—Shinrai wailed from the pain he didn't feel. Even the moon wasn't there in the sky to give him company. He ripped a kunai from his pouch and stabbed deep into his thigh. Blood poured out but nothing changed—the fact that nothing changed made everything worse.
Again, he stabbed, ripping into his stomach. The physical pain was palpable, his special chakra roared but it led to nothing and nothing made everything worse. Instead of stabbing he went to slashes, he ripped his other arm to shreds with so many slashes that he couldn't count. It was a mangled mess and Shinrai screamed into the night again because NOTHING CHANGED.
He kept screaming as he kept stabbing and slashing—he didn't care where he just hoped that one was going to magically fix everything.
He knew it wouldn't he knew it wouldn't he knew it—
Finally, a stab made him stop.
Frosty dread made him look down at where he stabbed himself.
On the left side of his chest, blood squirted at the pace of his frantic heartbeat.
Shinrai had stabbed his own heart.
Panic made him rip the blade out but that made the blood loss worse. Nononononono—the dread of impending doom gripped him with hypothermic hands as he tried to scream. It didn't work. His body wouldn't work anymore.
Blurry vision faded to black as Shinrai collapsed onto the bloody grass.
Black… cut to nothing.
Hypothermia had won.
đ“ŤŠđ“ŤŠ ~ Chapter End ~ đ“ŤŠđ“ŤŠ
Sooooo yeah we're ending the arc here. This is without a doubt the worst cliffhanger I've ever done - and will probably ever do! Really, just... I want to let you know that you matter. Shinrai here, of course, is meant to be a negative example of somebody who's suffering with bad mental health and trauma, he's just lashing out and hurting everybody and himself and it ends terribly. If you feel like how he is here, then don't be like him. Don't give up, no matter how dark it is try to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Well because if I didn't do that, then I wouldn't be able to post all of this for you now! You matter more than you can possibly imagine because you are alive, because you are you, and there's no argument to that. Live the best that you can, alright?
As for more uhh "official" business, the next arccc will be coming in 2025 for sure. If I'm being optimistic, around March, American Spring Break. If I'm being cynical based on my previous track record... around June! Yeah! Uh, that's gonna be it from me for a while! Lytn, out o7