Awakening
Soft, humming sounds and an occasional muffled voice reached Naomi's ears, gently waking her from her sleep.
She slowly opened her eyes, and at first, she simply felt rested and safe. Then she took in her surroundings. She was in sickbay, on a biobed. Then she saw the figures of Ayala and Chakotay on biobeds in the back, and immediately the memories and worries returned.
As quickly as she could, she pushed the blanket aside and tried to sit up, but she recoiled as her back pulled rather roughly, and Naomi let out a small cry of pain.
"Ouch!" Then she remembered that the doctor had warned her that the tissue would be sensitive for a few days and made another attempt to sit up, only a little slower.
"Ah, Naomi!" The EMH came over to her, undoubtedly having heard her. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, I think. Ayala and Chakotay?" The doctor could still see the fear in her eyes and smiled reassuringly before saying, "They'll both make a full recovery, Naomi. But it will take a while. It takes time for a body to compensate for that much blood loss, and their other wounds still need to heal."
Naomi breathed a sigh of relief and then asked, "Is Tarik awake? Can I see him?"
The EMH looked over at the lieutenant. He and Chakotay were sedated for safety, but given the circumstances, the hologram was considering waking Ayala briefly. It would do him good, too, to see for himself that his foster daughter was okay.
"He's asleep, but I think it would do good to both of you if I wake him for a few minutes."
Naomi's heart began to flutter. Even a good night's sleep hadn't managed to calm her feelings about what had happened. She immediately felt a lump in her throat again when she thought about the fact that she had almost lost Tarik because he had so carelessly risked his life.
But even though she was angry with him, her love and care for him prevailed. She just wanted to have him with her and never let go again.
"Thank you, Doctor," she said simply, and started to slide off the bed, but the EMH held her back by the shoulder.
"Wait a moment, Naomi. I want to check you again first."
"Okay," said the young half-Ktarian and waited patiently until the EMH finished the scan.
"That looks way better than yesterday. I connected you to an IV to get some fluids into your system, however, I can't do anything about your empty stomach. I prescribe a good breakfast and more rest."
"I'm really not hungry, doctor," Naomi said and her eyes wandered anxiously to Tarik. The EMH sighed, but since he could understand that the girl needed a moment with the lieutenant first, he postponed the topic until later.
"We'll talk about this later. I need a moment to wake him, but you can go over to him."
Naomi slid from the bed and hurried to Tarik. She took his hand into hers and took a closer look at his face. He looked exhausted, his face paler than she had ever seen. Deep lines of pain and fatigue on his face made him look much older than before, but Naomi knew it would probably go away once he had recovered. Still, it pained her to see him like this and she felt a pressure in her chest.
She gently stroked over the back of his hand with her little fingers and waited until the doctor appeared, a hypospray in his hand.
"It might take a moment until he wakes up, he's still very weak, but that mustn't concern you, Naomi. It is normal, you don't need to be scared."
The girl nodded and wanted nothing more than to finally hear the voice of her surrogate father again.
The EMH pressed the hypospray against Ayala's neck and said, "this is just for a few minutes. Both of you still need to rest. I'll be in my office."
"Thank you, doctor," Naomi said, and her eyes were glued to Ayala's face.
It took a moment until Ayala's eyes fluttered open. He groaned softly and needed a few moments to focus. But once he saw Naomi and recognized her, a smile formed on his lips.
"Naomi…" although his voice was weak and hoarse, he said her name so softly that Naomi felt the tears rising again.
She exhaled sharply, trying to get her emotions under control, but she failed. Too many feelings overwhelmed her, relief, love, anger, sadness, fear…
Her lips were trembling and she tried to keep her voice steady, but it trembled too.
"You almost died," she stated quietly, but also firmly so that Ayala knew she was serious about that.
Ayala winced, not from pain, but from the weight of her words. He looked down at her hands holding his, then squeezed them slightly back and looked at her again and Naomi could see the guilt in his face.
"I know." He swallowed hard and also his voice was guilt-ridden.
Naomi felt tears welling up in her eyes, but there was nothing she could do about it when she said, "No, you don't. You don't know what it was like! I thought I was going to lose you! I was right there, watching you get weaker and weaker, and you - you simply didn't say anything!"
Her voice broke at the end, and Ayala had to look away again for a moment. His throat felt suddenly like it was tied up and his chest ached. Not just from any injury, but from the pain in her voice and the tears in her eyes.
He used his other hand, which was shaking slightly, and placed it over hers.
His voice was very soft and remorseful when he again spoke her name, not really knowing how to make up for this. "Naomi..."
The girl swallowed hard, she tried very hard to hold her tears back, but they continued running down her cheeks.
Her voice was breaking and shaking when she said, "Three months ago, I lost my mom. And Neelix. Do you have any idea what it would have done to me if I lost you too?"
Ayala felt his heart shatter. Naomi was right, he had been reckless. Not just with his own life, but with hers. Especially with her heart.
His grip on her tightened slightly, as if he could somehow promise through touch alone that he was still here.
"I'm so sorry, Naomi. I… I wasn't thinking about what it would do to you. I just... I couldn't let Chakotay die. I had to do something." Naomi could hear the pain in his voice.
She shook her head, her lips pressed together.
"I know. And I love that about you. But you didn't have to give everything. You almost gave too much."
Ayala closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled slowly.
His own emotions weighed heavily on him, for he had not yet revealed his grave transgression, but now he too could no longer contain his feelings.
His voice was quiet and full of self-loathing when he said, "I failed you."
Naomi froze, her anger melting into confusion.
"What do you mean?"
Ayala looked at her, his dark eyes filled with regret.
"I was supposed to protect you. I swore to myself that after what happened to your mom, I'd keep you safe, no matter what. And instead, I let you go through…" his voice hitched, "...all of this. The torture, the fear, the pain. I wasn't strong enough to protect you and keep you safe! Instead, I had to demand even more of you."
Naomi stared at him, her own pain momentarily forgotten as she realized just how deeply he was hurting.
Slowly, she retrieved one of her hands and reached up, placing it on his cheek.
Her eyes were full of love for him when she said, still crying, "You didn't fail me, Tarik."
Tarik's breath caught. She had never called him by his first name like that before. There was so much love, compassion and warmth in it that it was like balm for his soul.
Her voice was still shaking, but also firmly when she continued, "You are the only reason I got through this. You were there for me, the entire time. And when you were bleeding, weak, and exhausted, you still thought about saving someone else. That's not failure. That's who you are. That's why I..." her voice lowered to a whisper "That's why I love you so much! I need you more than you know!"
Ayala swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion and he lifted his arm so he could place his hand onto her cheek as well. "I love you too, Naomi. More than anything."
Naomi let out a shaky breath, and wiped at her eyes with frustration and also affection.
Tears were still running down her cheeks, but she smiled warmly at him and teased a bit by saying, "I'm still mad at you, though."
A small, tired smile tugged at the corner of Ayala's lips.
"You have every right. I'll make it up to you, I promise."
She exhaled, placed her hand over his hand at her own cheek, closed her eyes for a moment and pressed her face against his touch.
She needed to feel him and after a moment she opened her eyes again and said in a serious tone, "Just... don't ever do something that stupid again."
Ayala nodded, and used his thumb to stroke over her cheek and wipe some tears away.
His voice was soft, but sincere when he said, "I promise."
At that moment the doctor returned. He had witnessed the scene from his office and although he hadn't heard what both had talked about, it was enough to just look at them and he knew.
"I'm afraid I have to sedate you again, Lieutenant, you need rest."
"I'll stay with you, Tarik," Naomi said and carefully placed Ayala's hand back on the bed.
"That's not necessary, Naomi," he said and his eyes wandered to the EMH who was already preparing a hypospray, begging him silently to give him another moment.
"I'll be fine, and Chakotay too, right, doctor?"
The EMH nodded. "Of course. I won't deactivate myself until the two of you are back on their feet."
"See? The doctor takes care of us. I'm sure the Captain will take care of you, or at least find someone to step in for me."
Naomi looked at him thoughtfully, crossed her arms, raised her eyebrows and said, "Seriously? You nearly bled to death for someone else. I'm just sitting in a chair. Pretty sure my plan is the more reasonable one here. Aside from that, someone has to keep an eye on you to make sure you don't do something stupid. Again. That's how family works, by the way."
Ayala's jaw dropped and he didn't know what to say.
Even though her words were almost witty and funny, Naomi was hiding a deep-seated fear. She simply had to stay with Ayala; she had to make sure he didn't slip away from her again. She didn't even dare to think about sleep. The fear of losing him was so deep within her that she simply couldn't find peace.
The doctor, however, had to smile, and when Ayala looked at him almost indignantly, he said soothingly, "Don't worry, Lieutenant. I'll make sure she doesn't overdo it, but from a medical point of view, I can't deny that allowing Naomi to stay with you is part of the healing process."
He looked at the girl and then said, "Naomi, we'll talk about it in a moment. But I want you to eat something first. That's non-negotiable, understood? Your body needs energy. You can come back afterward."
Naomi didn't respond, just shifted her weight slightly, her chin lifted in silent protest.

The EMH sighed inwardly and when Naomi stood there so dismissively, he crouched down so that he was at eye level with her and said, "You need energy. You won't be able to help anyone, especially not him, if you collapse from exhaustion."
"I'm really not hungry," she grumbled a little, but the EMH said, "No wonder, it's been over a day since your last meal. At least eat a little bit, your body will remember that something is missing."
Naomi felt a slight panic rising within her. She didn't want to leave Tarik under any circumstances, especially not now. What if his blood pressure suddenly dropped again? Or his heart was failing? But she couldn't tell anyone about her fears, the doctor would simply reassure her that Ayala was fine, but she had to make sure about it! She just couldn't just leave.
"I… I don't want to go to the mess hall at all! People stare at me and… I just won't."
Her hands began to shake and she quickly crossed her arms tightly over her chest so that neither the doctor nor Ayala would see them shaking.
The doctor frowned. He had seen the shaking of Naomi's hands and was clearly worried, but didn't want to alarm the Lieutenant unnecessarily. So he decided to change conditions a bit.
"Naomi, I understand why you want to stay. And you can. But then we have to make some compromises."
Naomi was still reluctant and the doctor continued, "You're not leaving Sickbay, I promise," he said, placating. "But you are going to eat something. There's a replicator right here that you can use. And I want you to sit at my desk, in my office, and not come out until you've finished eating. That's my final word."
Naomi's eyes narrowed, but the doctor didn't flinch.
For a second it looked like she might argue, but then her shoulders slumped ever so slightly. She knew he was right, and he wasn't budging.
"Fine," she muttered under her breath. "But I'm still not hungry."
"Naomi…" This time, there was less patience and understanding in the Doctor's voice than before, and Naomi felt she shouldn't push the boundaries. After all, she was allowed to stay in Sickbay, and if something was happening she'd know immediately.
Still grumbling, she turned toward the replicator, and the doctor added, "Replicator. Desk. Office. All of it."
She gave him a tired glare but obeyed, vanishing behind the office partition.
Once she was out of earshot, the EMH turned to Ayala, his expression now a little more serious.
"Lieutenant, I certainly understand that you prefer Naomi to be in her quarters, keeping busy. However, keep in mind that she almost lost you. She's still afraid that could happen, and I think it's better if we don't send her away. She needs the reassurance of you being there, now more than ever, even if you're sedated. She's traumatized and can't be left alone at the moment anyway. I actually prefer being able to keep a close eye on her."
Ayala had to admit the doctor was right. "Very well," he finally agreed. "I know she's in the best hands with you."
The EMH nodded. "Indeed. And now it's time for recovery. Rest, Lieutenant."
"Wait, what about Chakotay?" Ayala asked quickly, before the Doctor could press the hypospray to his neck.
"He'll make full recovery, like you, though it might take him a little longer. After all, his body has been struggling with blood loss longer than yours, although you were clearly the most critical patient."
Ayala just nodded, the Doctor's words certainly sinking in. But then he felt the cool hiss against his neck, and seconds later, he felt his consciousness being pulled back into the darkness.

When the EMH returned to his office some time later, the soft scent of replicated clear soup still lingered faintly in the air. Naomi was sitting at his desk, her back rigid, her shoulders drawn tight. The bowl in front of her was mostly untouched, just a few tentative sips gone, the rest was cooling slowly.
She didn't look up when he entered, but he saw her subtly straighten, as if bracing for a reprimand. The EMH walked over quietly and glanced at the bowl. He didn't sigh, he didn't scold. Instead, he sat across from her, his tone even but calm.
"You barely touched it."
"I wasn't hungry," Naomi said softly, her eyes fixed on the tabletop.
"You said that earlier," he replied. "And I believed you then, too."
A beat of silence stretched between them before the doctor added, "I also saw your hands shaking."
Naomi's eyes flicked up to him as she was now clearly startled. For a second, it looked like she might deny it, but then she looked away again, her jaw was tightening and said, "It's nothing."
"It's not nothing," the EMH said gently. "It's your body trying to tell you it's overwhelmed. That you're holding too much all at once."
"I'm fine," she said quickly.
The doctor tilted his head slightly, studying her with clinical precision and something gentler beneath it. "Naomi, I know you want to believe that. But I need you to be honest with yourself. What you're experiencing isn't just tension or stress, it's fear. Real, heavy fear. And it's okay to feel that."
She was quiet, too quiet. Her fingers toyed with the edge of the soup bowl now, as if avoiding eye contact might keep the emotions at bay.
"Ayala's condition is stable," he continued, his voice soft but firm. "His vitals are steady. His body is slowly compensating for the missing blood, his wounds are taken care of, and his body is responding to treatment. If anything changes, you'll know immediately."
Naomi nodded slowly. But it was automatic, like she simply had to nod. It wasn't a nod of belief, just acknowledgment that she'd heard the words.
"Naomi," he said more gently now, "it's alright to be scared. Especially when it's someone you care about."
Her lips trembled slightly before she pressed them into a thin line. "He's the only one who…" she started, then stopped herself. Her eyes darted to the door, toward the soft beeping from the next room.
The EMH didn't press. He waited.
Finally, she whispered, "If something happens while I'm not there… if he wakes up and I'm not there…"
"He'll understand," the doctor said softly. "And if he wakes up, I'll make sure you're the first person he sees. I promise you that."
Naomi swallowed hard and nodded again. But the fear hadn't left her eyes, it had just tucked itself behind her resolve. She picked up the spoon again, stirred the soup once, but didn't lift it to her mouth.
"I'm really trying," she whispered.
"I know you are," the EMH said gently. "And that's why I'm not going to push you. But I am going to keep watching out for you, just like you're watching out for him."
Naomi looked up at him then, and though her eyes shimmered, she didn't cry.
"I won't let you fall apart," he added quietly. "Not while I'm here."
Naomi nodded. It was the same kind of nod again like before. She had heard the words, but they did not reach her. The doctor took care of everyone, she knew that, but she wanted him to look after Ayala, really look after him. Not just from time to time, but every single second to make sure he was okay. Given that feeling Naomi felt like she was the only person in the universe right now who could do that.