The pain came from the depths of his heart and Naruto felt his anger, his insecurities, his sadness pour into his yells and he screamed. He screamed so loud he felt as if he hadn't done enough. Because he hadn't done enough. Everything. Everything. Fucking Everything! Why did it hurt so bad? Why couldn't he breathe? Why couldn't he fucking breathe?

Why.

Because someone never told you.

Why him. Why? Naruto's knees buckled to the ground and he threw the box to the floor and he screamed in agony. He screamed for the moments where he looked through the windows of people's houses, the days where he had to dream to stop the hunger, the days where he was just utterly alone.

Naruto screamed and he yelled because it wasn't enough. Because he wasn't enough. Because people had been shouting, screaming at him for years and years and now because of something whatever it was, they decided he was human enough to be treated properly. They decided they would love him.

Like that. Just like that. Like everything they had done to him had been nothing. Like it was just that...a chapter of their life when it'd been his whole entire life. His whole entire existence.

Why. Kami. Why him?

Why was he not worth anything? You are worthy Naruto.

"I'm not!" You are worthy.

"I'm not! I'm fucking Not! Shut up!"

The anger poured deep within him hot and violent and Naruto tried to get out of his apartment but he was rooted to the ground. The harsh memories of when the villager's back turned to him splashed in his mind like Ink and Naruto broke down. He broke down into worthless pieces and he roared in anguish.

He gripped his chest and he inhaled and exhaled as the pain crushed him from the tender insides suffocating him and crushing him as if it were nothing. The tears threatened to pour and Naruto refused vehemently. Not this. He wasn't so weak. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't dare. "It's okay. I'm here" Arashi whispered through the door and Naruto sobbed. He sobbed loudly into his knees and the tears fell hot on cheeks. "No!" But he couldn't stop them. The tears cascaded down his tender cheeks and Naruto broke. Everything came crushing down relentlessly on him and he sobbed into his hands whilst the pain tore him straight apart.

"Let it out"

Arashi whispered and Naruto shook his head in denial, "n..no..I can't" Naruto croaked out but the tears continuously fell like water down his cheeks. The sadness that haunted him like a shadow fell on his entire being and Naruto cried even louder. He cried even louder because truly, everything he'd done had been for nothing. Everything had been for nothing. He was nothing. You are someone. Kami. No. He was nothing. He was a stupid, dirty, orphan boy who had no friends and had been scrounging for scraps eversince he was born.

"Naruto?"

"What?" he whispered looking at the door and Arashi smiled. "When I came here. I didn't want to live. My existence meant nothing. I just wanted to die and because of that, I I hoped that you didn't like me. I hoped that you'd see as all that I am. Broken" she said softly and Naruto's eyes widened, "you're not broken" Arashi chuckled, "I am and so are you. And that's okay. That's okay ya know" she whispered softly like a gentle lullaby.

They were both silent for more than an hour and Naruto slowly cooled down as he stared at the door desolately, "can I come in?" Arashi asked gently and Naruto looked at the mess around him in faint thought.

"Okay"

Arashi came in and she stared at him. " you okay Ruto?" Naruto looked at her dryly and Arashi chuckled. She touched his cheeks. "No" he answered and Arashi chuckled, "it's okay, I haven't been okay in a long time too" she whispered and Naruto's face fell on her lap.

Arashi took out two kunais and Naruto blinked. "What's that?" he asked his voice hoarse from the crying and Arashi smiled, "this belonged to...our father" Naruto's sucked in his breath as his voice trembled "what?" Arashi smiled thoughtfully, "yes, our father was a very famous shinobi just like our mother. This two kunais are ones from his favourite technique...my ..sensei he stole them for me for my birthday" she muttered lowly and Naruto looked at her curiously wondering why her light dimmed. "That's the same man who gave me all those scars...but that's a story for another day" she brushed off and Naruto was full of rage whilst Arashi chuckled.

"But anyways, I'm giving you one. Rightfully so because well he was our father. You shouldn't take it out and show it to just anybody though" she said and Naruto nodded as curiosity irked him. "So you do know who our parents are?" He asked and she nodded, Naruto sucked in another breath. "Who were they?" Arashi smiled and she poked Naruto on the forehead, "hey!" Arashi smiled, "they are the reason everyone's treating you so nicely" Naruto eye's dimmed. "What does that mean?" Arashi smiled, sympathetically, "Naruto, every ninja above Jonin level knew exactly who our parents are. They've known all along"

Naruto laughed. But it wasn't full of amusement but rather full of pain. Of course. Of course. Another lie by his jiji. It was getting too funny at this point. "Even my sensei?" Naruto asked tentatively and Arashi looked away, "especially your sensei" and Naruto's tears dropped. Each one dropped to the ground so easily it was almost funny.

A clown.

That's all he'd ever been.

"You won't tell me either?" Naruto asked trying to keep the betrayal out of his tone and Arashi smiled, "yes, I won't, since I'm now a citizen of Konoha I can't talk about it since it's village secret.. however.." Naruto perked and looked at Arashi's clever smile. "By the final exam of the chunin exam. You'll know" Naruto's eyes widened. That would probably be in a few weeks or month but not more than two months. Right. Okay. Okay. He could do this.

"You did that for me?" Naruto asked and Arashi smiled, "I had to threaten the council" Naruto laughed, "yeah right!" Then he stopped. "Wait a minute!"

"How do you know about the chunin exams" Arashi shrugged and pointed at her red forehead protector which sat quietly right there next to his bed. "Wait! What!?" Naruto yelled and Arashi had to marvel how he'd been breaking down a few hours ago and now was all hyper. Heh. It was probably a family thing.

"I'm taking the chunin exam with a temporary team. It was either that or straight to Jonin which would have been unfair" Naruto glared, "it's unfair now!" he yelled childishly and Arashi rolled her eyes, "get over it, I'm a kage level shinobi Naruto. I'm very strong. Being chunin in itself is an insult" Naruto huffed. "Still unfair"

"No it isn't. Bah" Arashi said as she stuck her tongue out. Naruto hit her with a pillow and Arashi twitched.

"Oh it is so on!"

"PILLOW FIGHT!!"

..

Night-time came in their apartment and Naruto looked at Arashi who was sleeping quietly in his arms. Naruto slowly looked at the ceiling and he couldn't help but feel utterly drained. Tomorrow he was going to the chunin exams with his sister, Arashi already picked out their new outfits and although Naruto has been reluctant to pass with his beautiful orange, he had done so easily when he noticed that he and Arashi would be matching.

It was something he always wanted to do and now he was doing it with his sister. Kami. Naruto wished they stayed together for a lifetime because it'd already been days since they met and yet Naruto had never felt so..cared for. Liked. Trusted. All of it.

Sure Arashi was a little blunt and very uncaring when it came to setting him straight, Naruto appreciated moreso because it showed how much she cared for him. It was just so different and unlike anything that Naruto had ever felt from anyone. Sure Iruka came close but it still wasn't close enough. Naruto couldn't even say it was the blood ties but rather because Arashi got it. She understood it. She understood him. And she listened, she talked and it didn't make him feel like he was begging to be heard just as he did with his team..

She was actually family and Naruto now saw the stark difference between that and his own team. It was saddening though rather than uplifting because Naruto realised that he truly didn't know what family was. He never knew and if it weren't for this clarity he would have never know. He'd be stuck begging his team whether unconsciously or not, because they were truly all he had and whether Sasuke or Sakura had hated him or not, he had hoped and he'd been willing to lick a kunai off anything for the sake of something he really couldn't understand.

Sure he and Sasuke had some similarities and they were very stark, moreover there was a very strange bond between them but Naruto realized that it wasn't as exaggeratedly close as he thought it'd to be. He'd just been blinded and desperate.

Regardless, Naruto felt drained. Today was a lot. A lot more than it'd ever been. He didn't even want to think about the number of lies that his jiji fed him much less how Kakashi stared at him knowing he knew what Naruto had wanted to know his whole life. It was agonizing, more agonizing than the case with the village and Naruto truly didn't even know where to start.

However he sucked it up, tomorrow was the chunin exams. Regardless, he needed to be ready. And when he became chunin, hopefully, he'd take a break. He needed a break. He was just too exhausted to think or deal with any of it both mentally and emotionally. Today had been enough for a while.

As for the village and his parent's identities. Later. Naruto would have to wait. Just wait. And for the first time, he was conflicted because as much as he wanted to know, he also didn't. Because then it'd made everything about the village more true, more down to earth and it was already deep and tucked in his heart.

A clown.

Naruto repeated in his mind and he laughed sadly. Tears fell down his eyes and he squeezed his sister who snuggled deep within his arms. It was okay. As long as he had someone to protect.

Huh.

"I understand now Haku"

He understood more than he ever did, moreover this feeling was sweeter than it'd ever been for his team because Arash was more important. She was his family. She was his most precious person and Naruto swore deep down that he'd work hard to be able to protect her and keep her safe.

He closed his eyes and he sighed. One step at a time.

..

Author's Note

Wattpad has been very glitchy and most of my drafts were gone. Then they came back and then the chapters were gone. And hence because of this, I'm publishing unedited and unfinished chapters. I am truly truly sorry for this inconvenience. Please excuse my grammer and plot holes and just this entire mess. I can assure you though that next chapters will be at least proper and edited and longer. This goes for the other websites I'm posting on, I am truly sorry.