(We see Dipper and Mabel's house, then we see a sign that says "Mabel Pines, Private Eye" with an eyeball on the bottom. The door slowly opens and we see 8 year old Mabel Pines in her room wearing a trenchcoat and a hat drinking her Mabel juice.)
Mabel (to the viewers):Mabel Pines, Private Eye. I'm going to tell you about my very first case. It involved my twin brother Dipper, some missing quarters, and a WHOLE lot of trouble.
(We now see a 8 year old Dipper Pines sitting in detention in Mr. Rianda's classroom all by himself feeling very disappointed)
Dipper:(sighs)Detention...
(Shortly after, we hear loud chatter from the kids outside the hallway)
Dipper:(gasps)Sounds like a mob!
Kids:Dipper?(chants): Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper!
Dipper:OH NO!(hides behind his desk)
(The doorknob slowly turns)
Mabel:But I'm getting ahead of myself! Let's go back to the beginning. It all started two days ago. It was a Wednesday, just like any other.
(Dipper is volunteering at a fundraising booth in the school hallway so the
Piedmont Fire Department can get a new puppy)
Fat Kid:What's with the dopey table, Dipstick?!
Dipper:I'm collecting quarters for Mrs. Grady's fundraising drive. We're going to buy a puppy for the fire department. Can you give a quarter?
Fat Kid:Ummm... well... (thinks about it for a moment and finally gives him the quarter). Here!
Mabel:Hey Dipper, Mom's taking us to the arcade! She waiting in the car! Hurry!
Dipper:Just let me take these quarters to . (puts the quarters in a paper bag, then notices her private eye costume) What's with the goofy hat?
Mabel:It's part of my new detective kit! I've been snooping, looking for crimes!
Dipper:Did you find one?
Mabel:No, but I did pick up some secret information. (looks around) Third grade picnic this Friday!
Dipper:(sighs) I know that, Mabel. There have been signs up for two weeks!
Mabel:Oh well, I'm not giving up. I'll find a crime! Hurry up, I'll tell Mom that I'll wait for you!
(In the cafeteria kitchen, Mrs. Grady is talking on the phone with the fire chief)
Mrs. Grady:What's that, chief? Yes, Smokey is a nice name for a dog! But how about Edgar or Winston?
Dipper: Mrs. Grady?
Mrs. Grady:Yes, it does have a nice kind of ring now that you mentioned it. And it certainly is appropriate!
Dipper:Excuse me, Mrs. Grady?!
Mrs. MacGrady:Smoke is pretty much your business, isn't it? Where there's Smokey, there's a fireman you might say.
Dipper:I gotta get going!
Mrs. Grady:But I don't want to see the dog getting some kind of complex, Chief. Dogs are sensitive, you know, and if you name a fire dog Smokey, well, who's he gonna root for?
Dipper:(tries to grab Mrs. Grady's attention)
Mrs. Grady:Now Chester, there's a fine name for a dog, don't you think?
Dipper:(puts the bag of quarters on the table and leaves)
Mrs. Grady:It's a real canine name for a dog! My first husband was named Chester.
(At the arcade...)
Mabel:That afternoon, I still hadn't found a mystery. But there are always shifty characters at the arcade. I thought it'd be a good place to look.
(Mabel has a magnifying glass in her hands looking for subjects)
Mrs. Pines:Watch where you're going, Mabel! That magnifying glass is going to give you eye strain!
Mabel: Mom wasn't exactly helping.
(sirens)
Mabel:Huh? (rushes over to where the sirens came from)
(Dipper hit the high score on the pinball machine)
Mabel:Dipper, you did it! You hit the high score! WAY TO GO! That's my brother! My twin brother hit the high score! (Mabel high five Mabel)
(At Eggbert Elementary school the next day...)
Mabel:Boy, you rocked last night! Step aside, everyone! Pinball wizard brother comin' through!
Principal Henry:Dipper, don't forget to give Mrs. Grady the quarters you collected from the fundraising drive.
Dipper:I already did, Mr. Henry.
Principal Henry:Hmmm, she told me she never got them.
Mabel:Maybe they were stolen!
Principal Henry:Mabel, please!Now, is it possible that you brought them home by mistake?
Mabel:No, he came straight to the arcade with me. In fact, he got the high score in pinball! I did that once, took all my birthday money! Like 100 quarters! Boy, did I blow a lot of quart...
Dipper:(gasps)
Ms. Terrace:This doesn't look good, Mr. Henry...
Principal Henry:It certainly doesn't, Ms. Terrace.
Dipper:You mean, you think I STOLE THE QUARTERS?!
(Mabel overhears a conversation between Dipper, Ms. Terrace, and Principal Henry in the Principal's Office)
Principal Henry:YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM, DIPPER!
Ms. Terrace:You certainly were!
Principal Henry:If that money doesn't turn up, I'm afraid that you'll have to serve a day...
Ms. Terrace:Week!
Principal Henry:... a week of after school detention starting today!
Ms. Terrace:AND NO PICNIC FOR YOU TOMORROW!
(At the cafeteria...)
Dipper:My first important job, and everyone thinks I'm a thief! I'M INNOCENT! I need a lawyer!
Mabel:(spits out her Pitt Cola) Are you kidding?! You can't afford a lawyer! You need a detective! Like... say... ME!
Dipper:I don't know. You think you can really find out who stole all of the quarters?
Mabel:No problem! Mabel Pines is on the case! You're going to that picnic tomorrow Dipper. Trust me! But right now, I gotta do some snooping.
Dipper:Just try not to get me in deeper trouble, okay?
(Back in the cafeteria kitchen...)
Mabel (voiceover):The first person to question was the dame in the pink smock, named Mrs. Grady. Occupation: Cafeteria Lady.
Mabel (to Mrs. Grady):Can you tell me your whereabouts yesterday afternoon?
Mrs. Grady:I was here in the cafeteria... (Mabel attempts to taste the brownie mix) STOP THAT! Baking brownies.
Mabel:AHA! Maybe I better taste one of those brownies.
Mrs. Grady:Nice try, but nobody touches them until the picnic! But you can help me with the desserts for the 4th graders. I didn't see anyone come in here all afternoon! Oh, I forgot, Mr. Dorris was in here. He came in to mop up when the brownie mix overflowed. Maybe you should talk to him.
Mabel (with her mouth full):Thank you very much!
Mrs. Grady:(gasps because she notices that Mabel ate one of the pies) Hmmmmmm...
(Mr. Dorris is whistling while pushing a cart back to the Janitor's Closet)
Mabel (voiceover): Mr. Dorris, the school janitor. A guy with access to every part of the school!
(Mabel is disguised in the mop)
Mr. Dorris:MABEL?!
Mabel:Can I ask you a couple of questions, Mr. Dorris? (trips over a broomstick and falls)
(Now they go outside where Mr. Dorris is washing windows)
Mr. Dorris:Sure, I went into the kitchen yesterday afternoon.
Mabel:AHA! And what were you doing there?
Mr. Dorris:Cleaning the floor around the blender. Mrs. Grady spilled something. Brownie mix, I think.
Mabel:Do you ALWAYS clean up after Mrs. Grady?
Mr. Dorris:Not often. She's usually pretty tidy. Anything else, Mabel?
Mabel:That's all for now. But, don't leave town! Just one more thing, Mr. Dorris! That jingling sounds an awful lot like quarters! ALOT OF QUARTERS!
(It turns out to be his keys)
Mabel:(gasps) Oh, never mind.
Mabel (voiceover):A couple of hours on the job, and I need less from what I started. There was only one place left to go. It was time to visit the suspect's home!
(Mabel goes to the house and asks Stan questions)
Mabel:Did he bring home any big jingling bags? You know, absent-mindedly?
Stan:Kid! YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUR BROTHER! HE WOULD NEVER TAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY HOME!
Mabel:Now calm down, Grunkle Stan, I'm just checking out every possible...
Stan:Hide it some place! But where? I say we dig up the lawn!
Mabel:Thanks anyway, Grunkle Stan. I'll know where to find you when I need you.
(Mabel runs into Dipper)
Dipper:Oh hey, how's the investigation going?
Mabel:Um, okay, I guess.
Dipper:MABEL, IF YOU DON'T FIND OUT WHO DID IT BY TOMORROW, I'LL MISS THE PICNIC!
Stan:Excuse me, coming through! (has a shovel in his hands)
Mabel (voiceover):The situation did not look good. Everything pointed to just one person.
Mabel:DIPPER! Suppose he was a criminal mastermind, and I never noticed.
(In a fantasy sequence, Dipper is swimming in a pool of quarters, laughing evilly)
(Back at the kitchen, Mabel is feeling down, not paying attention to her dessert)
Mrs. Pines:Only two helpings of dessert? Are you sure you're feeling okay?
Mabel:I'll be in my room, Mom.
(Later that night, Mabel investigates the scene even more on her desk)
Mabel (voiceover):There was nothing to do but consider all the suspects. Was it Mrs. Grady? Mr. Dorris? Or was it, DIPPER?
Mrs. Pines:Mabel, what are you doing still up? It's 10:00 at night!
Mabel:I gotta crack the case!
Mrs. Pines:You need your sleep! You're not a robot!
Mabel:Robot? THAT'S IT! MOM, I LOVE YOU! (hugs)
(The next day...)
Mabel:I figured it out! The quarters were stolen by an army of evil robots! They eat metal for fuel and nobody noticed that they can, can, transform into, into, ummmm, any shape. Oh gosh, it made so much sense last night. I know you're gonna miss the picnic today, and I know it's because I'm a bad detective. But I wanted to tell you that I think you're innocent, even if no one else does.
Dipper:Thanks anyway Mabel.
Mabel:Sorry I let you down. If I just had one more day!
Dipper:Forget it! You might be a lousy detective, but you're still my favorite sister!
(At school, all the kids line up next to the bus, but Dipper is sent by Mr. Ratburn into the school)
Gretchen:Poor Dipper.
Principal Henry (on a megaphone):Uh, hello? Is this on?(feedback)Um, children, please proceed onto the school bus.
Mabel:I just know the answer's somewhere! But I just can't think straight anymore!
Gretchen:I know how you feel. Sometimes when I'm working on a tough math problem, I feel like my brain's overflowing with data.
Mabel:Overflowing? OVERFLOWING! THAT'S IT!
Gretchen:What's it?
Mabel:Mr. Henry! I solved the crime! Come on!
(Mabel and Mr. Henry rush back into the cafeteria kitchen)
:Mabel, Mr. Henry, what are you doing here?!
Mabel:Mrs. Grady, your brownie mix overflowed when you put it in the blender. Has that ever happened before?
Mrs. Grady:No, I guess I made too much.
Mabel:There was too much because there was one extra ingredient... QUARTERS!(opens one of the brownies and quarters fly out)
Mrs. Grady:OH MY HEAVENS! I must've accidentally mixed in the bag of quarters along with the bag of flour!(opens another brownie and quarters fly out)
Principal Henry:Why, this means that...
Mabel (to all the students on the bus):HE'S INNOCENT! AND IT WAS ALL TO THE GREAT DETECTIVE WORK OF MABEL PIN...
(Principal Henry takes the megaphone while all the kids cheer and run back inside the school to celebrate. Meanwhile, Dipper, back in the classroom, hears the mob just like in the beginning of the episode)
Kids: (chants): Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper!
Dipper:OH NO!(hides behind his desk)
(The doorknob slowly turns)
Kids: (chants): Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper!(cheer)
(The door opens and Mabel comes out while the other kids rush in)
Mabel:Dipper, I DID IT!
Dipper: Mabel, you're the best detective and sister I know!
(All the students carry Dipper & Mabel out on their shoulders in celebration to the bus. Then, the bus leaves for the picnic as Principal Henry and Mrs. Grady wave goodbye.)
(Back in Mabel's room...)
Mabel:So, that's the story of my first case. It was tough, but I cracked it in the end. And as for Mrs. Grady, well, she's a little bit more careful these days.
(Mrs. Grady takes a cake out of the oven. Mr. Dorris has a detector to see if anything is in it. There is nothing inside and Mr. Dorris gives her a thumbs up.)
Mrs. Grady:COME AND GET IT! (winks)