Spike slumped in his wheelchair. Part of him was bored. Another part was anxious. Not his more favored emotions. He watched the Judge, kneeling in a corner facing a bunch of storage racks. He'd been there for much too long, drawing his strength. How much longer would they have to wait for him to make everything 'hell on Earth'? His anxiety stemmed from the fact that the Slayer had escaped with Angel. She really drove him mad sometimes. On some level, he could respect her – not that he would ever tell her that – but as long as she lived, she could find a way to stop their plans.
Drusilla seemed unbothered by it all. He envied her sometimes. "I'm not happy, pet. Angel and the Slayer are still alive. They know where we are, they know about the Judge. We should be vacating."
"Nonsense," she replied, taking his hand. "They'll not disturb us here. My Angel's too smart to face the Judge again."
Spike didn't really believe that. Captain Forehead would work with that wretched Scooby Gang to find a way to defeat them. Honestly, he'd kind of gone into this whole thing expecting them to. If the world didn't get destroyed, he was hardly going to be sad about it. He liked the world, after all. He lived on it. But it got Dru excited, and he would humor her. "What's Big Blue up to anyway? He just sits there."
"I am preparing," the Judge said simply.
Rolling his eyes and his wheels, Spike approached him. "Yeah. It's interesting to me that 'preparing' looks a great bit like sitting on your ass. When do we destroy the world already?"
"My strength grows, and with every life I take it will increase further."
"So let's take some. I'm bored." But the conversation was cut short when he heard Drusilla moaning behind him. He looked back and saw her lowering to the floor. "Dru?"
"Angel…!" she cried out.
He rolled over to her, now on the alert. "Dru? What is it? Dru!" She began to weep as he drew alongside. "Darling… Do you see something?"
Her crying gave way to an evil smile. Bloody hell – it must be a good one.
It had been amazing. Maybe not exactly the way she'd always fantasized her first time, but it had been the most romantic experience of her entire life, and that was all that mattered to her. She awoke in his bed, the injury to her back already feeling much better, and reached over for him. She opened her eyes, suddenly wide awake when she didn't find him there and looked around. She sat up in bed. She could hear the rain pounding outside, and a flash of lightning briefly lit up the room. She looked around the room again, but Angel was nowhere to be seen.
"Angel?"
. . .
Outside in the alley, the rain had let up, but Angel barely noticed as he fell to the pavement and propped himself up on his hands. "Buffy…," he gasped. He couldn't hold himself up and collapsed to the ground. "Oh, no." He could feel something – something painful – deep in his chest, his throat, his entire body, as something almost dislodged itself, struggling to get free, leaving him terrified and almost sobbing in horror.
He heard footsteps behind him – not Buffy, he could smell a cigarette, probably a hooker – and they stopped nearby. "Hey," a woman's voice said. "You okay? You want me to call 911?"
But the horror was gone now. He got back to his feet very nimbly as the last vestiges of pain gave way to relief and joy. "No. The pain is gone."
"You sure?" the hooker asked.
"Yeah." He spun around, game face on, grabbed her and violently bit her on the neck before she could even think to scream. He fed, dropped her dead body, tilted his head up and blew out the smoke he's just inhaled through her neck from her lungs. "I feel just fine," Angelus smiled.
Once the rain stopped, Buffy knew she couldn't wait around for Angel. She still had school and a mother to attend to. She made it home quickly enough, quietly opening the kitchen door and, once assured the coast was clear, she quietly closed it behind her and cautiously headed upstairs.
Unfortunately, she stomped like a Clydesdale, and her mother heard her from the next room.
"Morning!"
Cursing herself, she stopped her ascent and came back down a few steps. Her mother came over to the base of the staircase. "Morning."
"So, did you have fun last night?"
"Fun?"
"At Willow's."
Remembering the round robin last night, she smiled. "Yeah, fun at Willow's. You know, she's a fun machine."
Seemingly buying it, her mother offered her breakfast, but Buffy turned it down – she needed a shower, no lie.
"Well, if you hurry, I'll run you to school," Joyce offered.
"Thanks."
But rather than walk away, Joyce looked at Buffy curiously. "Is something wrong?"
Buffy tried not to do her impression of a deer in the headlights and forced herself to remain casual. "No. What would be wrong?"
"I don't know. You just look…" She trailed off, looking at her daughter before shaking her head and going into the dining room. Relieved that her overnight tryst could remain a secret, Buffy hurried upstairs.
The library door opened, and Giles looked up as Xander and Jesse entered, neither looking particularly triumphant. "Well, the bus depot was a total washout," said Xander. "And may I say what a lovely place to spend the night. What a vibrant cross-section of Americana."
"No vampires transporting boxes?" Giles asked.
"No, but a four-hundred-pound wino offered to wash our hair," replied Jesse. He scanned the present group – Jenny, Willow, Cordelia… "Where's Buffy?"
"She never checked in," said Willow, the worry evident in her voice.
"If the bus depot is as empty as the… docks and the airport…," said Giles.
"So we're thinking the Judge has already been assembled?" asked Jesse.
"Yes."
Xander immediately looked determined. "Then, Buffy could be… Okay, we gotta find 'em," he decided. "Um, we gotta go to that place, that, uh, that factory. That's where they're holed up, right? Let's go."
"And do what?" demanded Cordelia. "Besides 'be afraid and die'?"
"Well, nobody's asking you to go, Cordelia. If the vampires need grooming tips we'll give you a call."
But Giles looked equally uncertain. "Cordelia has a point. Now, if Buffy and Angel were, were…" God, he didn't even want to say it. " … harmed, then we don't stand to fare much better."
"Yeah? Well, those of us who were born with feelings are gonna do something about this."
Jesse cleared his throat. "I have feelings, and frankly, I'd like a better plan than 'kamikaze mode'. It'd be like five soldiers trying to take down the entire German Army."
Logic meant very little to Willow, however. "No, Xander's right! My God, you people are all…! Well, I'm upset, and I can't think of a mean word right now, but that's what you are, and we're going to the factory!"
Xander fiercely agreed and followed her to the door. Jesse looked very fed up, but he reluctantly started to follow. Mercifully for them, Buffy entered the library right as they reached the door.
"Ohhh, saved by the Buffy," Jesse said, slumping with relief.
"We were just going to rescue you," said Xander.
Willow threw Giles an unnecessarily harsh look. "Well, some of us were."
"Well, I would have," he replied indignantly.
"Where's Angel?" Jenny asked.
Buffy looked concerned. "He didn't check in with you guys?"
"No."
"What happened?" asked Cordelia, sliding off the counter.
"The Judge," Giles started to ask, "is he…?"
"No assembly required. He's active."
"Oh, damn it." He removed his glasses, deeply disappointed.
"He nearly killed us. Angel got us out."
"Why didn't you call? We, we, we thought…" He still couldn't say it.
Buffy looked almost flustered. "Well, we… had to hide. Uh, we got stuck in the sewer tunnels, and with the hiding, we just split up… Uh, no one's heard from him?"
"I'm sure he'll come by," Willow tried to assure her.
"Yeah, I'm, I'm sure you're right."
Giles knew there were other more pressing matters to attend to and tried to steer things back on track. "Buffy, the Judge, we must stop him."
"I know."
"What can you tell us?"
"Not much. I, um… I kicked him. It was just like a sudden fever. If he'd got his hands on me…"
"In time, he won't need to. The stronger he gets, he'll be able to reduce us to charcoal with a look."
"Also, not the prettiest man in town."
Giles decided that he would resume research on the Judge while the rest of the kids went to class. They promised they would come by to help continue that research once they were free. He thought briefly to himself that Buffy's concern for Angel, while natural, had developed an odd… something… about it. He couldn't put his finger on it, but she seemed different somehow.
Spike wheeled himself around the large table that Drusilla laid out on top of. She looked beautiful on her back, looking up with her hair fanned out across the surface, her eyes open wide at the ceiling. "Are we feeling better, then?" he asked with a smile.
Drusilla sighed. "I'm naming all the stars."
"You can't see the stars, luv. That's the ceiling. Also, it's day."
"I can see them. But I've named them all the same name." She tilted her head to him. "And there's terrible confusion."
"Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?"
"Well," a familiar voice said, clearing its throat, "he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It's tough sledding, but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle."
Spike looked up and saw Angel standing in the side door. "You don't give up, do you?" he groaned.
Angel slowly came over, his stupid face all heroic and garbage. "As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking…," he paused to note the wheelchair, "well, rolling the streets… I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there."
Ye gods, he sounded like a stilted action hero. Worse – he sounded like when George Clooney tried to be Batman. "Uh, yeah. Angel, um… look over your shoulder."
Angel turned around, and the Judge put his hand on his chest.
"Hurts, doesn't it?" Spike grinned.
Angel looked back at him, nonplussed. "Well, you know, it kinda itches a little."
Less cocky now, Spike looked at the Judge impatiently. "Don't just stand there. Burn him."
"Gee, maybe he's broken," Angel snarked.
Sensing things had gone way off-script, Spike looked at Drusilla. "What the hell is going on?"
Drusilla looked at Angel, and he could see the dawning realization of something he himself hadn't quite realized yet.
"This one… cannot be burnt. He is clean." The Judge removed his hand, unimpressed.
"'Clean'?" Spike repeated, finally catching up with everyone else in the room. "You mean, he's…?"
"There's no humanity in him." The big blue lummox simply turned and left.
"I couldn't have said it better myself," Angel smirked.
Drusilla looked overjoyed. "Angel."
"Yeah, baby. I'm back."
Spike was absolutely thunderstruck to see his grandsire back to his old self. "Is it really true?"
"It's really true," Angelus laughed, walking around the table.
Drusilla followed him with her gaze. "You've come home."
"No more of this 'I've got a soul' crap?"
"What can I say, hmm?" He struck a match on the table. "I was going through a phase." He lit a cigarette and took a very evil puff.
Oh, this made things very good indeed. With Angelus back on their side, that meant the Slayer's effectiveness had been halved. Even with all the friends she had, Angel had been the only one who could match her strength. "This is great! This is so great!" Spike laughed.
Drusilla walked on the table, waving her arms. "Everything in my head is singing! We're family again." Angelus laughed as he helped her off of the table. "We'll feed. Grrr." She turned to Spike. "And we'll play."
Spike still couldn't get over it. "I've got to tell you, it made me sick to my stomach seeing you being the Slayer's lap dog."
Angelus growled and grabbed Spike by the shirt, then he kissed him on the forehead and stepped back. Spike busted up laughing as the others joined in. "How did this happen?" asked Drusilla.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Angelus chuckled.
"Oh, who cares?" Spike said. "What matters is now he's back! Now it's four against one, which are the kind of odds I like to play."
Drusilla leaned toward Angelus. "Psst. We're going to destroy the world. Want to come?"
Angelus played with his cigarette, as if he were thinking about it. "Yeah. Destroying the world. Great. I'm really more interested in the Slayer."
Spike shrugged. "Well, she's in the world, so that should work out." He didn't really think the world would end, but again, he would go along with it for Dru's sake.
But Angelus grinned. "Give me tonight. Hmm?"
"What do you mean?"
"Lay low for a night. I guarantee you by the time you go public she won't be anything resembling a threat."
Spike's enthusiasm waned slightly. He knew Angelus' preferred method of torture, and while he'd love to see the Slayer suffer for all the humiliations she'd caused him, he'd also rather she just died already. "You've really got a yen to hurt this girl, haven't you?"
"She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive."
Xander lay atop the library counter, studying a book. School had ended a couple hours ago, and he, Jesse, Willow and Cordelia had all returned to the library to help Giles research the hell out of this Judge. They still hadn't found anything useful yet – just the same stuff they found in other books the previous night.
Cordelia walked past looking through a book, and he tried not to look too closely at her. They'd been snapping at each other a lot lately, and while he tried not to, he felt bad about it. Stupid conscience.
Giles, meanwhile, sat in his office going through one of the older books that the rest of them stood no chance of reading. Jesse sat at the table with a stack of books, going through one of them right now.
Willow, on the other hand, was on the phone with Buffy, who hadn't been by yet. "Okay. No, no, he didn't, but I'm sure he'll… Well, Buffy, he probably has some plan, and he's trying to protect you. Well, I don't know what. I'm not in on the plan. It's his plan… No. Don't even say that! Angel is not dead."
"Say 'hi' for me," Xander said, not looking up. He wished Buffy would quit worrying about Angel. It would only cause him to worry about Angel, and that was the last thing he wanted.
Willow seemingly ignored him. "Yeah, of course we'll be here. Okay, bye." She hung up, then looked at him incredulously. "Say 'hi' for me?"
"What's the word?" he asked, moving on already.
"She's checked every place she can think of. She even beat up Willy the snitch a couple of times. Angel's vanished."
Giles stood in his doorway. "But he does do that on occasion, no?"
"Oh, yeah, but she's extra wigged this time. I guess 'cause of her dreams. God, what if something really happened to him?"
"She's still coming here, right?" asked Jesse.
"Yeah. She's just stopping at home first."
Xander slammed his book shut and jumped off of the counter. "Nada," he announced, a proclamation that he'd found diddly-squat in this particular book. He headed for the stacks to return it and find something else. En route, he found Cordelia, still with her book from earlier. "Did you find anything?" he asked as he shelved his.
She shook her head. "This book mentions the Judge, but nothing useful. Big, scary, no weapon forged can stop him, took an army to take him down. Blah, blah, blah."
Xander sighed ruefully. "We need some insight, a weak spot."
"Well, we're not gonna find it here."
She shelved the book, and Xander decided to approach, remembering his stupid conscience once again. "Sorry I snapped at you before."
"Well, I'm reeling from that new experience," she snarked.
He nodded, taking the shot. "I was crazed. I wasn't thinking."
"I know. You were too busy rushing off to die for your beloved Buffy. You'd never die for me."
"No, I might die from you. Does that get me any points?"
"No."
"Come on, can't we just kiss and make up?"
"I don't wanna make up." About ready to give up, he started to leave, but she gently grabbed his arm. "But I'm okay with the other part," she added with a smile.
Relieved that he hadn't ruined this (yet), he smiled back and began to kiss her. She began to kiss him back, and for just a little while, he felt like things might work out after all. She even giggled and smiled when they pulled apart.
And then, he noticed both Willow and Jesse standing there, the latter holding a book, and both looking stunned. In fact, Will looked as though she'd just been slapped across the face. "Guys, uh…"
Willow darted off, and Xander – for reasons he didn't fully understand except that she was upset – chased after her, calling her name. Dammit, all this time he'd been worrying about Jesse's reaction. He'd never once thought about worrying about Willow's.
. . .
Jesse watched his friends take off, disappearing out of the library. The book felt heavy in his hand. He'd only meant to put it away and get a new one, and Willow had been going to see what was taking Xander so long. The last thing either of them had expected was to find Xander Harris and Cordelia Chase making out behind a bookcase. He looked at her, then in the direction his friends had gone, then back at her again, trying to get his brain to come back online.
"Didn't… find anything, then?" he asked her..
Cordelia, clearly shocked by the whole ordeal as well, shook her head. "No."
"Right…" He couldn't think of anything else to say to her, and he knew more important things were happening right now. "I'm gonna go check on them," he said, quickly handing her the book – to her confusion – and hurrying after them. He bounded down the stairs, seeing the library door still swinging shut. Giles was once again coming out of his office, having seen the other two run past, and he looked ready to follow when he saw Jesse running by, but Jesse just waved him off, saying, "Unrelated! Just ignore us!"
"I often try to," he heard the Watcher mutter, already returning to his office.
He got the door just as it shut and ran out into the hallway. He immediately saw Willow and Xander a short distance away.
Willow was ranting and shaking her finger at him. "I knew it! I knew it! Well, not 'knew it' in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know. You two were fighting way too much. It's not natural!"
Xander tried to placate her. "I know it's weird…"
"Weird? It's against all laws of God and Man! It's… Cordelia!" She said her name with utter revulsion, as if the other girl were some disgusting creature. "Remember? The 'We Hate Cordelia' club, of which you are the treasurer."
"Look, I was gonna tell you."
"Gee, what stopped you? Could it be shame?"
Jesse took a few cautious steps forward, hoping to calm things down. "All right, pump the brakes there, Will. Everyone just calm down."
"Calm down?!" Willow snapped disbelievingly, tears forming in her eyes. "You just saw the same thing I saw! He was swapping spit with Cordelia Chase! It's… it's morally wrong!"
"All right, let's overreact, shall we?" Xander snarked, getting genuinely annoyed now.
"But I'm…!"
"Will!" Jesse snapped, hoping to curb any further arguing – and to be honest, he shared Xan-Man's assertion that she was overreacting, although he really shouldn't be surprised. Willow's obsessive crush on him had been continually grating on him for years. "I understand that this is a lot of info to get in less than a minute, but you're being really harsh right now. We're not little kids anymore. The 'We Hate Cordelia' Club was years ago, and I'd like to think you've both moved on from it." He eyed Xander. "Seriously, you can't make out with her if you're still treasurer."
Xander glared at him. "I'm not still treasurer. And anyway, we were just kissing. It doesn't mean that much."
"No," said Willow bitterly. "It just means that you'd rather be with someone you hate than be with me." She ran from the hall.
Jesse and Xander watched her vanish into the shadows for a moment before looking at each other, suddenly feeling awkward – as all men do after a substantial display of emotion. "Um," Xander fumbled, "thanks for… y'know, having my back and stuff."
"Yeah, sure," Jesse replied, sticking his hands in his pockets and observing the floor. He looked up again inquisitively. "So… how long has that been going on?" he asked, gesturing with his thumb towards the library.
"A… month or so."
"Wow."
"Yeah…" He almost laughed. "Um… honestly, I was more worried about how you were gonna take it. I mean, you kinda… worshipped the ground she walked on, while I… well, again, former treasurer."
Jesse thought about that, and he nearly laughed as well. "Yeah, there is a kind of poetic irony, huh?"
"We should be discussing it in our next Lit class." His eyes wandered back down the hallway. No sign of Willow. "What am I gonna do?"
"We get back to work," Jesse said firmly, grabbing his shoulder and gently guiding him to the library. "If the Judge starts his rampage, there won't be a world left for Will to be pissed at you in."
Buffy had tried going home, but her concern for Angel caused her to instead turn around and seek out his apartment. She didn't bother knocking – she just walked right in and shut the door behind her. She walked over to the bed and saw it had been made. One of his shirts had even been laid out on it. She picked it up, feeling so lonely and desperate for his presence that she almost put it to her nose just to inhale his scent.
She heard movement behind her, and when she turned, there he was – standing by a statue in the corner of the room. "Angel!"
She ran to him and kissed him, hugging him tightly. "Hey!" he said, sounding surprised by the display of affection.
"Oh, my God! I was so worried!"
"I didn't mean to frighten you," he said in a calm voice.
"Where did you go?"
"Been around."
"Ohhh. Oh, my God!" She hugged him again. "I was freaking out! You just disappeared."
"What? I took off," he said, very nonchalantly as he went to his bed for the shirt.
Her relief giving way to confusion, Buffy watched him. Something didn't feel right. "But you didn't say anything. You just left."
He pulled on the shirt. "Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that."
"What?" That feeling of dread built up in her stomach.
"You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night."
"What are you saying?"
But he waved her off dismissively. "Let's not make an issue out of it, okay?" he said, going for his coat. "In fact, let's not talk about it at all. It happened."
All the warm fuzzies she'd felt about last night came crashing down in her head. "I… I don't understand. Was it me?" She felt so small as she asked, "Was I not good?"
He laughed. "You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro."
His voice sounded so mocking and snide, she felt gross. "How can you say this to me?"
"Lighten up. It was a good time. It doesn't mean we have to make a big deal."
"It is a big deal!" Of all the ways she'd imagined the morning after for the last few months, she never once thought he'd say anything like this.
"It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies?" he laughed again. "Come on, Buffy. It's not like I've never been there before."
He reached his hand up to her face, but she jerked back, blinking back the tears. "Don't touch me."
His hand retracted into a single index finger that wagged at her scoldingly. "I should've known you wouldn't be able to handle it." He turned to leave.
No, this couldn't be how this interaction ended. Not after everything they'd been through. Everything they'd said to each other. This was not how this was supposed to go. "Angel!" He stopped and looked at her expectantly, and that harshness made the tears almost impossible to hold back. "I love you."
He pointed to her again, like a jaded husband talking to his nagging wife. "Love you, too," he said breezily. He turned and walked off. "I'll call you."
Buffy could only stare after him, the tears finally trickling down. This wasn't some romance novel. This was a nightmare.
Jenny sat miserably in her uncle's hotel room. She had come to try and reason with him to help her with Buffy and Angel. She knew in her heart that it didn't have to be like this – that Angel could be reasoned with, that he suffered just fine and didn't need to be driven away from Buffy.
But her Uncle Enyos was a stubborn man. "You know what it is, this thing – vengeance?"
"Uncle, I have served you. I have been faithful. I need to know…"
"To the modern man," he interrupted, "vengeance is a verb, an idea. Payback. One thing for another. Like commerce. Not with us. Vengeance is a living thing. It passes through generations. It commands. It kills."
Jenny tried again. "You told me to watch Angel. You told me to keep him from the Slayer. I tried. But there are other factors. There are terrible things happening here that we cannot control."
"We control nothing. We are not wizards, Janna. We merely play our part."
"Angel could be of help to us," she insisted. "I mean, he may be the only chance we have to stop the Judge."
"It is too late for that."
She froze. "Why?"
"The curse. Angel is meant to suffer, not to live as human. One moment of true happiness, of contentment, one moment where the soul that we restored no longer plagues his thoughts, and that soul is taken from him."
Jenny stared at him incredulously. "Then, if somehow, if… if it's happened… then Angelus is back."
"I hoped to stop it. But I realize now it was arranged to be so."
"Buffy loves him."
"And now she will have to kill him."
Jenny stood up, increasingly furious. What a stupid curse! Who did that help?! "Unless he kills her first! Uncle, this is insanity! People are going to die."
"Yes," he said simply. "It is not justice we serve. It is vengeance."
Taking an angry breath, she grabbed her coat and bag. "You are a fool. We're all fools." She stormed out of the room. To curse him to stop him killing made sense, but to make that curse automatically if he ever dared have a moment of contentment – how dumb was her own clan?!
Amy stared at Willow incredulously. "Xander and Cordelia?!" she whispered loudly.
Willow nodded furiously, arms folded across her chest furiously as she sat on the student lounge couch. "It's just so… ugh! Jesse and I found them just… slobbering all over each other, and I just… why?!"
Amy looked thoughtful. "Well, I mean, I guess they have always had this tension between them…" She saw Willow's glare and promptly switched gears. "Jesse saw them, too? Um… how did he take it?"
"Oh!" Willow snapped. "Jesse actually scolded me! Like, I had the nerve to react with any kind of emotion for that… that grossness!"
"So he took it pretty well?" Amy asked hopefully. Again, Willow glared at her, and she cleared her throat awkwardly. "I mean, that's terrible." Then, they heard footsteps approaching them, and they looked up to see Jesse and Xander standing over them. "Hey, guys," she said nicely.
"Hey, Amy," Jesse said politely, albeit looking uncomfortable.
"Yeah, hi, can you maybe give us a minute?" Xander asked. "We need to discuss something… private."
"I told her already," Willow said shortly, hugging her arms around herself.
Amy forced a smile, and Xander looked alarmed. "Um… she's the only one you told, right?" Off her angry expression, he sat on the opposite couch, Jesse joining him. "I'm glad you came back. We can't do this without you."
Willow leaned forward in her seat to keep her voice low. "Let's get this straight. I don't understand it, I don't wanna understand it, you have gross emotional problems, and things are not okay between us. But what's happening right now is more important than that."
Xander seemed to accept that. "Okay."
With that now out of the way, she leaned back again sullenly. "What about the Judge? Where do we stand?"
"Same as yesterday," said Jesse. "Every book we read just says 'no weapon forged', 'it took an army,' etcetera."
Willow sighed. "Yeah, where's an army when you need one?" She noticed the look on Xander's face. He actually looked… contemplative. "What?"
Xander's eyes widened. "Whoa. Whoa!" he exclaimed, causing Jesse to uneasily scoot away from him. "I… I think I'm having a thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a thought. Now I'm having a plan." The lights suddenly went out, plunging them into light darkness. "Now I'm having a wiggins."
"What the hell happened?" asked Amy.
But Xander wouldn't be deterred from his idea. "Let's get to the library."
They all got up and started to move down the hallway, but then, they saw a familiar figure walking out of the shadows. "Hey, guys," a familiar voice said.
Xander looked less than enthused. "Angel."
"Thank God you're okay," said Willow. "Did you see Buffy?"
"Yeah. What's up with the lights?"
"Snyder forgot to pay the bill again, probably," said Jesse.
Xander tried to stay on task. "Listen, I think I have an idea."
"Forget about that now. I… I got something to show you."
"Show us?" asked Amy.
"Yeah, Will, you come with me. The rest of you, go get the others."
Without really thinking about it, Xander, Jesse and Amy turned and ran back up the hallway towards the library while he led Willow away to show her his 'amazing' discovery.
They were only halfway there when Xander stopped running, causing Jesse and Amy to stop as well. "What's wrong?" asked Jesse.
Xander slowly turned and looked back, a look on his face suggesting deep concern. "I have this weird feeling we just got played…" He turned and started running back the way he came. Confused, Jesse and Amy followed him anyway. As they got closer, they could hear voices in the empty hall they'd just come from.
"Willow, get away from him." Miss Calendar's voice.
"What?" Willow's voice.
"Walk to me."
"What are you talking about? It's Ang…" They heard a frightened yelp.
The trio came skidding around the corner and saw Willow in his grasp, his hand around her throat, while Ms Calendar held up a cross to him. "Don't do that!" Xander shouted.
"Oh, I think I do that," the vampire grinned sadistically.
"Angel…?" Willow choked out, her eyes darting back and forth.
"He's not Angel anymore. Are you?" Ms Calendar said, her voice hard.
Angelus glared, tightening his grip on Willow. "Wrong. I am Angel. At last!"
Amy looked between Xander and Jesse, but they just looked horrified – their friend was in this guy's clutches, and they were powerless to stop him.
"I got a message for Buffy," he continued.
"Why don't you give it to me yourself?" They all turned to look. Buffy had entered from behind him, still mostly in the shadows.
"Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends." He tightened his grip on Willow even more and she let out another pained yelp.
Amy took another glance around the room. With all eyes on Angelus and Willow, no one was really looking at her. She began to ease herself around while his back was turned, trying to keep out of his line of vision.
Buffy looked equal parts furious and stricken. "This can't be you."
"Gee, we already covered that subject."
"Angel, there must be some part of you inside that still remembers who you are."
He scowled at her. "Dream on, schoolgirl. Your boyfriend is dead. You're all gonna join him."
"Leave Willow alone, and deal with me."
"But she's so cute," he said patronizingly, pinching Willow's cheek, "and helpless. Really a turn-on."
Amy closed her eyes and whispered quickly, "Rursus percussorem!" She pointed a finger, and from an open wall outlet, a thin bolt of electricity zigzagged out in the blink of an eye and struck Angelus in the leg for a split second. He gave a cry of pain, releasing Willow in the process, allowing her to get away – and she promptly collided with Xander, who had been about to strike Angelus with Ms Calendar's cross. Both just barely got away in time, rejoining Jesse a safe distance away.
Angelus looked around the room for his attacker, but he didn't make the connection that he'd been shocked by a spell – he just saw Amy retreating with the rest of her friends. In his distracted state, he forgot about Buffy, who promptly did a roundhouse kick to his head. He stumbled briefly, but he managed to block her next attack and instead grabbed her by the shoulders.
She gave a gasp of fright, but he leaned in close. "Things are about to get very interesting," he whispered. He kissed her, shoved her into the wall and backed out the door.
Xander, Willow and Jesse ran over to her, concern all over their faces. "Buffy, you okay?" Xander asked urgently. But she just stared at the door. "Buffy…?"
Giles paced up and down the library. Everyone else either stood or sat, dumbfounded by what had just happened. Xander stood while Willow and Cordelia sat at the table, too shell shocked to remember their current conflict. Ms Calendar leaned against the shelves while Jesse and Amy stood together by the counter.
"And we're absolutely certain that Angel has reverted to his former self?" Giles asked.
"Yeah, uh, we're all certain," Xander said bitterly. "Anyone not feeling certain here?"
"Giles, you wouldn't have believed him," said Willow, her voice heavy. "He was so… He came here to kill us."
"What are we gonna do?" asked Cordelia.
"I'm leaning towards blind panic myself," Giles said, surprising them all.
"Rupert," said Ms Calendar as calmly as she could, "don't talk like that. The kids."
"I'm sorry. It's just that things are bad enough with the Judge here. Angel crossing over to the other side… I wasn't prepared for that."
"Yeah, that wasn't on my bingo card for this year," muttered Jesse.
Buffy sat at the table, opposite Willow, looking down at the tabletop, her face the picture of heartbreak. Her friend came around and crouched next to her. "Are you okay?" Buffy shook her head 'no'. "Is there anything I can do?"
"I should've known. When I saw him at the house, he was different. The things he said…"
"What things?" asked Giles.
"It's private."
"But you didn't know he had turned bad?" asked Ms Calendar.
Willow looked at her. "How did you?"
"What?"
"Well, you knew. You told me to get away from him."
"Well, I saw his face."
Giles sat on the table, deep in thought. "If only we knew how it happened."
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked, looking very uncomfortable.
"Well, something set it off. Some… event must've triggered his transformation. Well, if anyone would know, Buffy, it should be you."
"I don't," she said, her voice sounding thick with emotion.
"Well, did anything happen last night, that might…?"
Abruptly, Buffy rose to her feet. "Giles, please, I can't." She turned and ran from the library.
"Buffy, I'm sorry, but we can't afford to… Buffy!" he called after her.
Willow watched her run out the door. "Giles, shut up," she said quietly.
As the door quietly banged shut, everyone looked at each other, equal parts concerned and confused. "This is great," sighed Cordelia. "There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his team, the Slayer is a basket case… I'd say we've hit bottom."
Xander didn't look very hopeless. "I have a plan."
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Oh, no, here's a lower place."
He ignored her and kept talking. "I don't know what's up with Angel, but I think I may have a way to deal with this Judge guy," he said, sitting on the table by Cordelia.
Willow looked determined. "What do we do?"
Suddenly awkward now, Xander looked between her and Cordelia. "I think, um… I think I may need Cordelia for this one," he said, causing his friend to look down for a moment. "And we may need wheels."
Cordelia didn't look thrilled about that. "Well, my car is…"
"It might have to be bigger."
"No problem," said Willow quietly. "I'll get Oz. He has a van."
"Good. Okay." He glanced across to Jesse and Amy. "You guys should come, too. We'll need all the hands we can get."
"Okay…," said Jesse, walking over to him. "And the plan is…?"
"I'll tell you later," Xander said, already getting up and walking away.
"Why later?"
"Because if I tell you, then Cordelia won't do it. Everyone just meet me at Willow's house in half an hour. And Cordy – wear something trashy… er." He hurried away before she could react.
"The man has such a way with words," Amy muttered, quietly incredulous.
While a very irate Cordelia followed him out the door, the others began to disperse.
"I'm not sure what we should do about Buffy," Giles confessed.
Ms Calendar looked at him sympathetically. "Assuming they don't attack tonight I think we should just let her be."
The other kids nodded in agreement..
Still processing, Giles shrugged helplessly. "I can imagine what she's going through."
"No, I don't think you can," said Willow.
Spike sat in his wheelchair, increasingly annoyed as Angelus talked at length about his mental torture of the Slayer. "You should've seen her face. It was priceless." He hopped up on a conveyor platform and sat. "I'll never forget it."
"So you didn't kill her then," Spike said flatly.
"Of course not."
Letting out a long sigh in an attempt not to lose his temper, Spike tried talking normally. "Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while, mate, but we still do kill people. Sort of our raison d'etre, you know."
But Drusilla, playing with her doll nearby, understood. "You don't want to kill her, do you?" she said, poking the doll's eyes as she smiled up at him. "You want to hurt her. Just like you hurt me."
Angelus gave her a creepy smile. "Nobody knows me like you do, Dru."
"She'd better not get in our way," Spike said, trying to keep the conversation on track.
"Don't worry about it."
"I do."
"Spike," Angelus said, slamming his hand on a crate and pushing it along the rollers, "my boy, you really don't get it!" He leapt to his feet and strode around dramatically. "Do you? You tried to kill her, but you couldn't." He laughed cruelly. "Look at you. You're a wreck! She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced." He walked down the platform and jumped off once he was closer. "Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl… you have to love her."
Buffy finally came home that evening. She'd isolated herself as much as she could all day. Her mom thankfully didn't ask too many questions, having a work thing to do and allowing her to have the house to herself for a while. She simply went up to her room, closed the door behind her and unbuttoned her coat. She'd been trying so hard not to cry all day.
She saw her cross and necklace hanging from its hook and took it in her hand. It sparkled in the light. She let go of it, letting it swing. She looked down at the ring on her hand that Angel gave her. She pulled it off of her finger and looked at it, finally bursting into tears. He was gone, and it was all her fault. She'd lost the only man she would ever love because she had wanted that forbidden romance so badly.
She went to her bed and lay on it, clutching the ring and crying uncontrollably. She curled up on her bed and, eventually, she fell asleep and dreamed…
. . .
She and Angel lay in bed caressing each other. She ran her hand down his back over his tattoo, admiring both their rings. He kissed her gently on the neck. She held him with her ringed hand, kissing his fingers. They moved under the sheets where he kissed her lips tenderly.
She heard him say, "I love you." But when she opened her eyes, she saw him in his game face.
Then, much like a dream, the scenery changed, and she found herself at a funeral in broad daylight – mercifully, she was clothed. She saw Angel walk up to the grave. He looked up at her, his face bathed in sunlight.
"You have to know what to see."
Confused, she looked back down at the grave. Among the other people attending the funeral, she saw a woman in black lifting her veil – Jenny Calendar.
The next day, Buffy stormed straight into Ms Calendar's classroom. She ignored the students sitting at all the computers. She didn't care that she was standing there, talking to Giles. She didn't bother to stop or take her Slayer strength into account. Before they could finish greeting her, she strode right up to the woman, put her hand around her throat and shoved her back onto the desk.
"Buffy!" Giles exclaimed in alarm. He tried to pull her off, but she resisted.
"What do you know?!" she practically hissed at the older woman.
She heard a student get up and ask if they should get the principal, but Giles assured them he would deal with this and dismissed them. They mercifully vacated the room, leaving Buffy alone with the two adults.
She finally let go of her throat and stepped back. "Did you do it? Did you change him?"
"For God's sake, calm down!" Giles said angrily.
Buffy still ignored him, glaring fiercely at Ms Calendar as she massaged her throat. "Did you know this was gonna happen?"
"You can't go around accusing everybody – !"
"I didn't know…," Ms Calendar gasped out, "exactly. I was told…" She took a moment to recover, anguish in her eyes. "I was sent here to watch you. They told me to keep you and Angel apart. They never told me what would happen."
Giles' anger faded into dumbfounded shock as he stared at his girlfriend. "Jenny!"
She looked down, full of remorse that Buffy couldn't give two short whatevers about. "I'm sorry, Rupert. Angel was supposed to pay for what he did to my people."
"And me?" Buffy demanded. "What was I supposed to be paying for?"
"I didn't know what would happen until after. I swear I would've told you."
Buffy felt the hope draining away – the hope that someone else had caused this, that she could blame someone else for what they did to him. "So it was me. I did it."
"I think so. I mean, if you…"
Giles found his voice. "I don't understand."
"The curse. If Angel achieved true happiness, even just a moment of… He would lose his soul."
Her Watcher looked at her in confusion. "Wha…? How do you know you were responsible for…?" Buffy glared at him – in this moment, she didn't give a damn what he thought of her. Nothing mattered right now. He seemed to put the pieces together, thankfully. She could tell because he took off his glasses with what she assumed was disappointment. "Oh," he said simply.
She lowered her eyes to the floor, the anger still there but not quite as fierce.
Ms Calendar started talking again. "If there is anything that…"
"Curse him again," Buffy cut her off.
"No, I can't. I mean, those magicks are long lost even to my people."
"You did it once. It might not be too late to save him."
She looked utterly helpless. "It can't be done. I can't help you."
"Then take me to someone who can."
The Sunnydale Army base had been quiet so far. In the distance, you could hear a sergeant giving his soldiers their marches. Oz's van pulled up behind the barbed wire fence close to a supply building. Somehow, Xander knew just where to park.
He and Cordelia stepped out of the van first, followed by Jesse and Amy. "Wait here," he ordered Oz. "When you guys see that window open, get out the ladder, come up, we'll pass you the package, okay?"
Oz nodded. "Okay."
"Be careful," hissed Willow.
Jesse scoffed, still not thrilled to be here. "Why should we be careful?" he hissed sarcastically, looking at Xander. "We're only breaking into a high-security government facility."
Xander pointed a warning finger at him before continuing to cut a few more links in the fence. He managed to squeeze through, and the other three followed with nary a scratch. "The security here really is a joke. I should, uh, report it."
"Who am I supposed to be again?" asked Cordelia.
"You're supposed to be a girl. If you don't know how, just follow Amy's lead."
Cordelia slapped him on the arm. Amy slapped him on the shoulder. Jesse slapped him over the back of the head. Glaring at them, he led them along the side of the building and looked out from behind some crates. The coast looked clear, so they continued past a truck. A group of soldiers can be heard quickly marching by. Xander peeked out from behind the truck, and the way still looked clear. He stepped over to the door and was about to reach for the knob when they were discovered by a soldier on guard duty.
"Halt!" Everyone raised their hands. Amy started to make a gesture with her left hand, but Jesse subtly grabbed it with his right hand, never taking his eyes off the soldier. "Identify yourself right the hell now."
Xander spoke for the group. "Uh… Privates Harris and McNally with the, uh… Thirty-Third."
"Thirty-Third are on maneuvers."
"Right! Uh, we're on leave. From them."
The soldier eyed Jesse, who nodded awkwardly. "Sir, yes, sir."
"You always spend your leave snooping around the armory, pal? And who are they?"
"Hi," said Cordelia, frightened. "I'm not a soldier." She glanced at Xander. "Right?"
Xander approached the guard, hands still up. "Look, we just want to give them the tour. Uh, you know what I'm saying."
The soldier looked at him sardonically. "The tour."
"Well, you know the ladies. They like to see the big guns. Gets them all hot and bothered. Can you cut me some slack, gimme a blind eye?"
"And why should I?"
"Well, if you do, I won't tell Colonel Newsome that your boots ain't regulation, your post wasn't covered," he grabbed the soldier's M-16 and gave it back to him properly, "and you hold your gun like a sissy girl."
Now the soldier looked embarrassed. "You got twenty minutes, nimrod."
Xander smiled as he started for the door. "I just need five." He stopped and looked back briefly. "Forget I said that last part."
The guard checked his watch. Xander opened the door to let the others in, gave the guard a thumb's-up and followed them in.
"Okay," he said, "keep an eye out and make sure no one else shows up."
Jesse and Amy stayed at the door but Cordelia followed him further into the building. "Okay, what was that? And who are you?"
Xander scanned the shelves as he talked. "Remember Halloween, I got turned into a soldier?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I still remember all of it. I know procedure, ordnance, access codes, everything. I know the whole layout for this base, and I'm pretty sure I can put together an M-16 in fifty-seven seconds."
"Well, I'm sort of impressed. But let's just find the thing and get out of here."
"Okay." He started looking around.
. . .
While they were out of earshot, Jesse peered out the door. The soldier had moved off now, but he was still within visual range. He glanced back at Amy who had just been watching Xander and Cordelia search the shelves. She smiled awkwardly at him.
"So…," Jesse said in a low voice, "what were you going to do to him?"
Her expression faltered. "Do to him?"
"You were gonna do a spell, weren't you? Like when you did a spell to help us break into Ted the robot's house? Or that rather convenient electric jolt to Angel's hindquarters?"
She bit her lip and looked down at her feet. "Would've been a sleeping spell. He would've just fallen asleep standing up." She looked up shyly. "Probably would've made the others suspicious, but I kinda panicked. You're not gonna tell anyone, are you?" she asked nervously.
Jesse shrugged. "Is it a huge secret? I mean, I think it's cool you can do magic. I'm just kinda surprised after what happened with your witchy mom."
"Yeah, I wasn't going to at first. But I found out I inherited some of her power." She shrugged helplessly. "I just thought, what the hell – maybe I can use my power for good." She smiled a little. "And also to get out of certain homework assignments."
Jesse's smile widened, impressed. "You use it to get out of homework? You little minx! Pardon the pun, but you've got a 'wicked' side!"
Amy giggled as she took a few steps towards him. "Oh, if you think that was wicked, you ain't seen nothing yet." She stepped right up to him, looking up into his eyes.
He couldn't put his finger on it, but he found having her this close kind of exciting.
. . .
Willow couldn't stop fretting while she waited for her friends – and Cordelia – to come back. "I wish they'd hurry."
Oz, for his part, remained as chill as ever. "So, do you guys steal weapons from the Army a lot?"
She smiled at him, embarrassed. "Well, we don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun."
"I get you."
Willow looked back at the building. Xander was in there with Cordelia. Yeah, Jesse and Amy were with them, so they probably weren't making out, and she liked to think Xander wouldn't blow off his own plan for nookie, but she hated the thought all the same. She looked at Oz. "Do you wanna make out with me?"
He looked up, almost startled. "What?"
Her nerves faltered. "Forget it. I'm sorry." She waited four seconds before deciding she wanted to know. "Well, do you?"
Oz nodded faintly. "Sometimes when I'm sitting in class… You know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like… it's like 'freeze frame'. Willow kissage." He nodded his head and smiled to himself at the thought of it. Willow smiled over at him, a small thrill to hear a guy actually talking about her like this. He looked up at her. "Oh, I'm not gonna kiss you," he clarified.
Willow blinked, thrown for a loop. "What? But freeze frame!" He hadn't said it rudely or dismissively or jokingly – just that he was making his intentions clear in a very matter-of-factly way.
"Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous or even the score or something. And that's on the empty side." He looked off into space. "See, in my fantasy when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me." He looked back at her, his face neutral like always but his eyes full of understanding. "It's okay. I can wait." He saw something happening outside. "We're up."
He got out of the van to prepare the ladder. Willow watched him get out and smiled. He was into her, but he was also totally in the right. She had only suggested making out with him to even the score with Xander. She should only kiss Oz to kiss Oz. Her heart fluttered as she watched him work. What a guy.
Ms Calendar took them to a hotel where her uncle Enyos was staying. He had apparently come to check on her progress, and by all accounts, he sounded extremely uncaring about her situation. Buffy didn't care. If he wouldn't help her, she would make him help her.
When they arrived at his hotel room, however, they found the door slightly ajar. Ms Calendar picked up her pace at the sight and rushed inside. They heard her exclaim in horror, and they followed her in. Uncle Enyos was laid out on the bed, dead and covered with blood. Buffy looked up at the wall behind him. A message was written there in blood: WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU TOO?
"He's doing this deliberately, Buffy," Giles said quietly. "He's trying to make it harder for you."
"He's only making it easier. I know what I have to do," Buffy said, her voice like steel, her heart like lead.
"What?"
"Kill him."
That night, the Judge slowly came over to Spike. "I am ready."
"About time," Spike replied. Drusilla sat on his lap and kissed, making the Judge walk off in disgust. At least he could take some satisfaction in that. "Have fun," he told her.
Angelus bent to Spike's ear. "Too bad you can't come with, huh?" he grinned patronizingly. "I'll be thinkin' of you."
Spike glared at him. "I won't be in this chair forever." Undeterred, Angelus takes Drusilla's hand and they start out after the Judge. "What happens if your girlfriend shows up?"
"I'm gonna give her a kiss," he replied before looking at the Judge. "Don't you look spiffy!"
The Judge stared blankly. "Spiffy?"
Drusilla smiled up at him as they walked off into the night, leaving Spike behind, all by himself. He stewed in silence. He felt less bad now for not wanting the Judge to actually end the world. It felt weird to root for the Slayer, but tonight, after Angelus reminded him just why he hated his guts, he really wouldn't be all that upset if he got his ass kicked.
Everyone stood in the library office as Xander, Jesse and Oz lifted a long crate onto Giles' desk. "Happy Birthday, Buffy. I hope you like the color." He took a step back while Giles positioned a crowbar on the lock.
Buffy began laying out her plan. "Giles, we go to the factory first, but they might not be there. They're on the offensive. We need to figure out where they'd go."
"Agreed," her Watcher replied, managing to break the clasp.
Buffy peered inside and saw what the gang had brought her. "This is good."
"Do you, uh…?" Everyone turned to see Ms Calendar standing in the doorway. "Is there something I can do?"
"Get out," Buffy said coldly. She didn't care if she was being harsh. As far as she was concerned, Ms Calendar's duplicity was the main reason Angel lost his soul, whether she'd meant for it to happen or not.
"I… I just want to help," Ms Calendar tried again.
But Giles turned his back on her. "She just said 'get out'," he said in a calm voice.
Buffy looked up at Giles, but he didn't look at her. He just stared sadly into the crate. Her friends all avoided eye contact with her as well, heads bowed and not acknowledging the computer science teacher's presence. No one watched her finally give up and leave.
Xander stepped up to the crate. "Do you want me to show you how to use it?"
"Yes, I do," Buffy nodded.
They went to the warehouse but found it deserted – no Judge, no Angelus, no anyone. They needed to figure out where the Judge would start his rampage. Giles said he would need a lot of people. Since the Bronze was closed tonight, they would need to look elsewhere. Fortunately, Oz suggested that the mall should be full of people to line up, so they decided to try.
The Sunnydale Mall was crowded tonight. Customers were going up and down between the floors, between refreshment stands and in and out of shops. Satisfied, they started infiltration. Buffy ordered Willow, Oz, Cordelia and Amy to scope out a location while she helped Giles, Xander and Jesse get the box inside via the employee entrance. Fortunately, security was lacking here as much as it had been at the military base, and they snuck it in without much trouble.
They were just meeting up with the rest of the group when they heard screaming. They looked up at the upper level to see the Judge standing with Angelus and Drusilla, flanked by their vampire troops. He had his hand outstretched, surrounded by smoke and flame, clearly having just killed someone.
"Something tells me we need to hustle," said Jesse. "Where do we take this thing?"
"Everybody keep back. Damage control only. Take out any lesser vamps if you can. I'll handle the Smurf."
The Judge took a couple of steps down. People tried to squeeze past and escape at the sight of some mighty big blue guy stomping around. The Judge extended his arms, and his energy arced out to and through them. It spread down through the people at the refreshment stands, freezing them where they stood.
Buffy, however, got out her crossbow and loaded a bolt into it. She fired it squarely in the Judge's chest, breaking his concentration and distracting him enough to release his energy. The people he had just attacked stumbled, dazed and confused. He grabbed the bolt and pulled it out of his chest.
"Who dares?" he snarled.
Now positioned at a refreshment stand that faced the ancient evil ugly, Buffy lowered the crossbow. Willow, Jesse, Giles, Oz, Amy and Cordelia all formed a circle below her while Xander opened the crate. "Think I got his attention," she muttered.
"You're a fool," the Judge said in his deep voice. "No weapon forged can stop me."
Buffy put the bow away. "That was then." Xander handed her the weapon from the box, and she raised the great big anti-tank rocket launcher to her shoulder. "This is now." She powered it on. She took great satisfaction in seeing Angelus and Drusilla exchange a look. She set her sights and opened the trigger guard.
The rest of the team took cover behind the snack counter. Angelus and Drusilla began to run. Buffy took aim as the Judge just looked at her.
"What's that do?" he asked, confused by the modern weapon.
Buffy pulled the trigger and the rocket flew straight into the Judge's chest as Angelus and Drusilla flew over the railing. The big blue dummy disappeared in an explosion of flame and smoke. The people in the mall screamed and started to panic and run. Angelus and Drusilla hit the floor below, bits of charred Judge falling all around them like very chunky rain.
Angelus got up and ran off. Drusilla took a moment to shriek in fury before running the other way.
"Best present ever," Buffy said, handing the weapon down to Xander.
"Knew you'd like it," he replied.
"Do you think he's dead?" asked Willow.
"We can't be sure. Pick up the pieces and keep them separate."
Everyone started to move off, with Buffy already starting after Angelus.
"Pieces?" Cordelia repeated. "We get the pieces. Our job sucks!" She turned on Jesse. "Why couldn't you keep your Halloween sorcerer powers? It would make cleanup a lot easier!"
Jesse almost chuckled. "Yeah, that would've been lucky," he said, absently wandering off to look for blue body parts. He slowed to a stop to think about that…
. . .
Buffy jumped down from the refreshment stand and spotted Angelus moving through all the frightened customers, struggling to get through so he could run away from her. Parts of the Judge scattered everywhere, burning away and giving an unpleasant stench. The smoke reached the sprinklers, and they turned on everywhere. She barely noticed she was getting soaked. She was already losing him in the crowd.
Suddenly he came at her and hit her from behind. She fell over backward. "You know what the worst part was, huh? Pretending that I loved you. If I'd known how easily you'd give it up, I wouldn't have even bothered."
Buffy got back up, glaring fiercely at him. "That doesn't work anymore. You're not Angel."
He smirked. "You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? It doesn't matter. The important thing is you made me the man I am today!"
She responded with a kick in the face. He blocked her next swing and punched her in the face and in the gut. He grabbed her and swung her around to throw her, but her footing was good and she regained her balance. He kicked her in the face and this time she fell to the floor.
. . .
The sprinkler water poured down on him, but Jesse had already found a chunk of the Judge that would probably need getting rid of. Cordelia's words echoed in his head. He glanced back at the others, but no one was looking at him – all looking at the floor for more demon chunks.
Reaching into a part of his mind that he'd been dimly aware of but never thought to try, he held out a hand to the Judge chunk on the floor. For a few tense seconds, nothing happened, but he continued to concentrate, remembering the spell in his mind. His heart raced, his muscles tensed… and the blue chunk of Judge began to slowly levitate off the floor. He let out a surprised gasp, and he began to smile triumphantly as he brought it up just a little higher, over his head.
Then – it seemed to just pop like a balloon. A great big flesh balloon. It erupted and sent even smaller Judge chunks raining down on him. He shielded his face, so at least nothing got in his eyes or mouth. When the debris finished pelting him, he stared at the mess, now a little scared. He double checked to make sure no one was looking at him. The coast clear, he awkwardly walked away to look for a broom and dustpan. He would probably be keeping this little moment to himself.
. . .
Angelus grabbed Buffy as she tried to get up and heaved her over onto her back again. She rolled around to her feet and came at him. She swung, but he blocked and hit her instead. He followed up with a backhand punch and she hit the floor again. "Not quittin' on me already, are ya? Come on, Buffy. You know you want it, huh?"
She leaped up and kicked him in the face. He arched backward and then snapped forward. Buffy kneed him in the chin and then delivered a series of punches to his gut. She ended with a punch to his face. He wasn't fazed, and lunged at her. She grabbed his arm and diverted him into a display case. He crashed through the glass, but immediately straightened back up, breaking the top pane and the frame of the case as well. She kicked him in the face and again in the chest, and he staggered backward into a potted tree. She pulled out a stake and stood, ready to finish the job.
Angelus straightened up and faced her. Buffy didn't move, but instead lowered the stake and just stared at him.
He smirked derisively. "You can't do it. You can't kill me."
She couldn't. Because he wore the face of the man she loved, and she wanted to believe there was still a way to get him back. So, instead, she took her anger out via a kick to his crotch, with every last bit of her strength. He grabbed his groin and moaned in extreme pain, collapsing to his knees.
Buffy turned her back on him and walked away. "Give me time."
Oz took everyone else home that night, but Buffy didn't want to be around anyone right now. She planned to walk home, but Giles insisted on giving her a ride. She assumed he wanted to lecture her, but by now, all the anger she'd been feeling was giving way to numbness, so maybe she could get through it. To her confusion, though, he didn't say a word the entire way home, and that was somehow infinitely worse.
They made it to Buffy's house, and he parked the car in the street. She didn't move to leave, still waiting for the lecture. He glanced over at her before shutting off the engine. The noise died away, and all she could hear were the crickets. She just waited patiently.
At last, he spoke. "It's not over. I… suppose you know that. He'll come after you, particularly. His profile, uh, well, he… he's likely to strike out at the things that made him the most human."
He was just rambling. Where was the lecture? The scolding? Some kind of punishment? "You must be so disappointed in me," she said, hoping if she just acknowledged what he must be feeling, maybe it would soften it a bit.
"No," he said. She slowly looked at him, and to her confusion, he didn't look angry. "No, no, I'm not."
"But this is all my fault."
"No. I don't believe it is." He looked earnest, sympathetic… Almost understanding? "Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly? You did. And I can." She thought that was the beginning and braced herself. "I know that you loved him. And… he… has proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen."
The numbness in her heart and soul began to give way to… tears. They filled her eyes as she looked at him, feeling so small and helpless.
He continued. "The coming months are gonna be hard… I suspect on all of us, but… if it's guilt you're looking for, Buffy, I'm… I'm not your man. All you will get from me is my support. And my respect."
Her lower lip quivered. She felt so childish right now. Last night, when she'd given herself to Angel, she'd been thinking about how grown up she thought she was. Right here, in front of her Watcher, she felt like a little kid who'd made a huge mistake and was being consoled by her…
She managed to smile a little through the tears.
Late that night, Buffy sat on the couch watching an old black-and-white movie playing on TV. The actors were dancing slowly, and the woman was singing a song called "Goodnight, My Love" to the man. "Goodnight, my love… My moment with you now is ending… It was so heavenly holding you close to me…" Sheesh, life, she thought, way to hammer your point with a sledgehammer.
Joyce came in holding a plate with two cupcakes, one with a candle, and a large coffee mug. "Did I miss anything?"
"Um… just some singing and some running around," Buffy replied, not taking her eyes off the tube.
Joyce set down the plate and mug and looked around for the matches. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to make you a real cake."
"No. This is good."
Finding a match, Joyce sat back on the couch with her feet up. "But we're still going shopping on Saturday. So what'd you do for your birthday? Did you have fun?"
Buffy looked down, then back up. "I got older."
Her mother examined her face. "You look the same to me." She leaned back to the table and struck a match to light the candle. The wick started to burn and she blew out the match. She set the matchbook on the table and leaned back on the couch again facing her daughter. "Happy Birthday." She gave a wry smile. "I don't have to sing, do I?"
"No."
"Well, go on, make a wish."
Buffy stared at it for a long moment. So many things to wish for, from a time machine to a case of amnesia. "I'll just let it burn," she said quietly, mesmerized by the tiny flame.
Joyce reached up and stroked her daughter's hair, and Buffy leaned over and rested her head on her mother.
"Sleep tight, my love. Goodnight, my love. Remember that you're mine, sweetheart."