"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."

Louis de Bernières

Epilogue

Five hundred years later...

Bella

It was twilight. The same time which Edward said he and his family felt it safe for them to come out. The same time in which I had also rejoiced in meeting and celebrating with him, being able to feel wild and free.

Only now, five hundred years after we married do I understand what it truly meant.

Charlie and Renée had died after what seemed to be a few years after I transformed, only in reality it was a few decades. Neither of them stood a chance. My daughter and I spent years and years and years visiting Charlie. Right after we left, during one of her periodic trips back to Forks, Gabrielle was offered a glass of water which she- according to her senses as a faerie- was able to detect the presence of pollution from. She immediately alerted the Wolves who then alerted Charlie who called me and Carlisle. Carlisle immediately alerted his old contacts at Forks Hospital who were able to examine for themselves and bring the damage report to the city council, but the damage had left its mark. It explained why Billy was bound to a wheelchair thanks to diabetes, why Harry, Seth and Leah's father, had succumbed so quickly to a heart attack when his cholesterol intake was nowhere near as bad as some people in America. Leah's phasing, unexpected as it was, had almost if nothing to do with it; it could have been anything else. It also explained why my grandparents, Charlie's parents, had died young by the standards of the modern age in America, why there were barely any old people around town. Otherwise, the Cullens would have been more easily spotted, being remembered by their former classmates who had grown, and the retired members of staff in the hospital, despite being careful enough to avoid having their pictures taken in the yearbooks or graduation photos. Carlisle chided himself for not seeing this sooner.

Gabrielle was able to clean Charlie up who, thankfully, wasn't as severely affected as the other people in town. A large part of this was because Charlie's closest friends, whom he counted as family, were Quileutes, and he was a terrible cook. Turned out, his friends had often invited him to the rez to eat where there was contaminated water, including the wells which supplied the newer houses such as the Blacks' and the Clearwaters'. But Charlie, Billy, Harry and Quil's dad who was also called Quil all spent time together at the latter's house with Old Quil, who got most of his water from the springs which his people had gotten their water from long before the first neighbourhoods were built. They were tested and it was determined that the water there was free of heavy metal contaminants. It explained why Old Quil was one of the few elderly people still alive within the surrounding area. Unfortunately, due to the consumption of water and food prepared in other people's houses, his blood level test results for heavy metals were still pretty high.

I often wondered whether my mother's pregnancy and spending my early life there along with the brief period of a few years I spent in Forks as a human had impacted me in some way. I had consumed the water, after all. I certainly showered in it. And I still drunk some of it when I was pregnant with Renesmee, undigestible as it had been. I remember spitting it out, but I forced myself to swallow. Now I felt sick, knowing it might have impacted her in some way since she was only half a vampire. I also wondered whether it impacted my mind in some way, whether it was more than just depression or my low self-esteem and lack of confidence which propelled me to listen to and believe Edward's gaslighting, but I make no excuses.

I refuse to.

Now, the water was clean. While it may have had some adverse effects on the Wolves, Gabrielle was permitted to step in to save them since they were in the know, same as Charlie. After discovering all this, Charlie had blamed himself for believing that he, in some way might have contributed to Harry's death and Billy's paralysed state, but the Clearwaters told him to snap out of it.

As I stared at the twilight skies above the Olympic Peninsula, I inhaled deeply. The wind whistled blowing strands of my hair, though the rest of my body was immovable. My eyes, alert even after many centuries, scanned the surrounding area. If the Wolves weren't aware of my presence now, they soon would be.

Not that they would harm me. We had an agreement after all.

They knew I would visit, from time to time. I suspect the Wolves still told stories to their children about the girl who pushed all her friends and family away, even the father who loved her, and the chances she had of any kind of future along with her human life to marry and become a vampire. It had been a momentous few years, after all. Some of them would have still remembered me from my periodic but regular visits to Charlie, before he died.

Like I said, he didn't stand a chance. My gratitude towards them was endless as I knew that Charlie had lived a good life, surrounded by people who cared for him, people who never took him for granted, unlike me. When he died the entire community, human and Wolf, had mourned him. His presence was terribly missed. Last I heard, Charlie volunteered in a rehabilitation centre for troubled teens during his spare time. Even after retirement, he had never given it up, any more than he had given up volunteering at the homeless and domestic abuse shelters. While the rest of the country shouted slogans and got angry at the death of a black man in Tennessee, and the police responded with more brutality, Charlie was one of the few members of the force who remained trusted and respected by the community. He taught his fellow officers to behave the same way, admitting to me he was insistent in training them after seeing a video online with a group of Swedish officers on holiday in New York, stepping in to de-escalate and calm the situation before the NYPD arrived. My daughter and I couldn't have been more proud of him, any more than those he counted as his friends and family. He was awarded with a medal for distinctive service, and when he died, the townspeople and the Quileute community organised a farewell ceremony with the officers he personally trained lining up to salute his coffin as it was carried past.

My visits to Forks became less frequent after Charlie died. He had left the house to me in his will, but upon consulting us, we turned it into a sanctuary and temporary stopover for supernatural beings of all kinds, including vampires. Although I hired someone to look after it, I didn't go there very often. I stopped visiting the town after he died. I don't even know whether it's still called Forks five hundred years later, or whether state boundaries was still a thing. I wouldn't be surprised in the United States was no longer called that.

My breath, unnecessary for a vampire but something which I was so used to and clung onto as another remnant or trace of my human life, hitched in my throat. The wind howled louder now, snowflakes swirling in the breeze. A hollow pain wrenched at my heart at the sight. It was still, just like the crystal heart Edward had given me, which I'd returned to him once he was released. Just like his, he once claimed. But as we discovered, it didn't mean that it couldn't break anymore.

I turned. I could feel the eyes of the Wolves watching me, but they knew who I was. No doubt they still spoke and whispered about me to future generations, remembering the stories they'd heard from Leah, Seth and all the others. No doubt I was a lesson to all children, warning them not to sacrifice everything you had so carelessly and without thinking- least of all, without thinking whom you were sacrificing it all for. Or what.

A dream. My heart ached much harder as the snowflakes swirled. My time with my father still lingered in my mind, or rather how much I'd wasted it. How I'd treated him. It was something I could never find within to forgive myself for, even though Charlie certainly did.

My feet were light yet since my movements were slow, I could hear the snow crunching under my feet. It reminded me of my human days, where every tread echoed strongly, every movement a risk I could lose balance, and every step seemed to be heavy as if I were already weary. How strange it was that I would do anything to go back, I mused.

I at least reconciled with my mother. Phil and Renée's divorce had been finalised place a few months after we left Forks. They remained on good terms, to say the least, and Renée served as godmother to Phil's kids whom she doted on, and they adored her. Phil still considered her a friend, though my mom still loved him. He and his new wife considered and treated her as part of their family, both being rather insistent about it, though the latter wasn't afraid to warn her husband's ex-wife that she had claws in case Renée forgot herself and overstepped her boundaries. Mom never did. She learned from her mistakes, and she respected them both for that, even though, I suspected in her heart, she never got over Phil. But was it really Phil she couldn't get over, or was it the idea of what she thought she had with him?

Either way, my mom died of cancer centuries prior to my return to Forks. I wanted to see everything one last time, count my regrets. I knew I could never find peace. The others urged me to move on, but I'm still haunted. While my sense of logic might tell me it makes no sense, achieves nothing and, in the end, I'm repeating the mistakes I've made, I still can't help it.

I'm forever eighteen, after all.

I could definitely see some shadows drifting behind the trees. Huge furry outlines. The Wolves had only grown larger in the generations after Sam first phased. Their entire community now constituted of males and females and was enough to fill a small town. In fact, that was what ended up happening. Gabrielle had confided to me that she and Ava, my cousin, whom I did not know I had and who was a witch, had played a key role in the diplomatic relations, treaties and agreements between the wizards, the Fey and the Wolves. The Wolves of La Push now had one of the best Wolf settlements in North America. They were considered one of the wealthiest, the strongest militarily speaking, and the safest places to live in you were a Loup-Garou Wolf. And it was all thanks to Leah.

Of course, I didn't go into La Push, and I was an infrequent visitor, only popping up occasionally to my father's house to make sure the waystation was being ran the way it should be. I wanted to honour Charlie's wishes, to do something for him, for all of us, after wasting the entirety of my human life. But I remembered Leah and Seth sometimes stopped by like many of their pack and other kinds of beings, and they often hung out. At first, there had been tensions, but since no fighting, hostilities or even rude manners were tolerated within the waystation, it eventually thawed away. This was a place of peace, of refuge and sanctuary from the chaos of the outside world. On one of my visits when Seth and Leah had been hanging out, Seth confided to me that Jacob had a message for my daughter. It had been decades since they last saw each other that fateful night, and it seemed Jacob had never returned to La Push, as the Vampire Queen predicted. Billy's granddaughter, Ruth Sarah Finnau, Rebecca's daughter, had never phased, and Rebecca and her family remained in Hawaii. She did, however, return to Forks and had been allowed in the know, and she and Rachel went out of their way to reach out to their little brother, even when he pushed them away. Last I heard, Rachel and Paul had both moved on and, according to the members of the former Black Pack, were happy with their new lives and the respective families they now had, though only Paul's children joined the pack. At some point, Sam stepped down from the leadership and handed its reins over to Leah. The two packs were formally reunited. I didn't dare ask about Sam and Emily, or Jared and Kim, and whether they were still together or had broken apart. I felt that would be an intrusion into their privacy, the kind of thing that Leah had been hypocritically called out for once when others, including Edward and Jacob, had no problem discussing her personal issues with strangers and outsiders behind her back. Like me. All the Wolves said was that Sam and Emily, and Jared and Kim, along with the rest of the pack were happy and doing well. That was enough for me.

A jolt of anguish hit me. Jacob remained in Canada, even after he was discharged from the treatment centre. Seth admitted it was shame that made him stay clear of his former home. He had been accepted and integrated successfully into the local pack and was treated as one of their own and welcomed with open arms. But he never went home. He married a Métis Loup-Garou Wolf and the two of them had been a mutual imprint. Seth confided that Jake had been forced to accept the truth about his and Renesmee's imprinting, and had been terrified to imprint again, even after everything had been fixed. After they imprinted on each other, he'd been terrified that he would hurt and make the same mistakes he and many of his former pack mates had with their imprints. But they made it work, and they must've been happy together. The couple have had three children, but none of Ephraim Black's descendants through Billy's line would ever run with their forefather's pack, and to Billy it must have been bittersweet, seeing his kids come out so well and be happy, yet paying the price for turning their backs on their heritage and home.

Jacob never contacted me after we left Forks. I know he was finally truly remorseful about the forced kiss and the emotional blackmail and guilt-tripping he gave me, even if I was just as guilty and certainly complacent about everything going on. But he did contact Renesmee. I hesitated. I was on the Olympic Peninsula, very close to where our old house and cottage stood. I didn't know if either were still standing; for all I knew, the new owners might've knocked it down or renovated it beyond recognition, or the house or the cottage might have fallen to disrepair and been cleared to make way for some new apartment buildings or something. Or else it was still standing, abandoned... or perhaps not. Perhaps someone was still living there, taking delight and pleasure in their surroundings. I wouldn't know. I refused to see it.

Yet the hollow pangs still struck my heart like the blows of a sledgehammer. After all these centuries, it still lingered. I crouched down, snow crunching beneath, hands around my heart, but there was nothing; no wound to bandage up. No cavity, or injury of any kind. I shouldn't even be feeling any of this, a hollow block of diamond or crystal I had become. Or ice.

My breath felt constricted, although it caused me no discomfort or pain like it once did. I missed it, the discomfort. The pain. Anything that would tell me plainly that I was still human, that there was something wrong, an injury that could end me or be fixed up. But nothing could be fixed. Or ended.

How ironic.

I crouched there above the snow, losing track of time. The cold never bothered me, even in the depths of midwinter. I felt no pain, no frostbite. Not even a minor discomfort. It was the cold and the pain inside of me that never left and could never heal.

After a while, I stood up. I made my way out of the peninsula, away from the sites of the once-Cullen house and the cottage I'd been given. Just as I steered clear from the town and La Push. I never got too close after Leah and Seth died.

I remembered hearing the chants and songs in Quileute that the people sang after Leah died before sunset. At night, the Wolves howled to mark the passing of their Luna, the first female Alpha of the Quileute Wolves. I remembered her funeral, paying homage at a distance. Somehow, I didn't think the Wolves would be too happy to have me near, even to pay my respects. After returning from the Carpathians that year, Leah had put aside any hostility she felt towards me, but it's not like we were close friends. I knew Leah once saw me as her polar opposite, the girl who had done so many things to so many people, but in the end appeared to have landed on both feet, supported by the ones she hurt. Whereas Leah did nothing to deserve all the pain she'd received but had promptly been punished and abandoned by those she trusted. Now, we both reaped our just rewards. Leah in a place of the highest honour, surrounded by friends and family, as much as honoured leaders and heroes, simultaneously missed and revered the descendants she'd left behind, and me alone in the snow, at twilight in the Olympic Peninsula where it all began, haunted by my past misdeeds.

She'd gone out in a way no one had ever thought she would have. Leah had taken her rightful place and was buried in James Island, alongside Taha Aki, Ephraim Black and all the other chiefs and great warriors of the Quileute tribe, both the chiefs of the Spirit Warriors and Alpha Wolves. No one could disagree about her place. Now, she could join her father and mother, and all the chiefs and warriors of the past with her head held high, and they would welcome her with open arms. Leah had left this community a nation onto itself, the nation she had always believed it was. After returning to Forks from the Appalachians pack, with their help she'd consequently set up businesses for both the humans and the Wolves in La Push. She since turned it into a thriving community, wealthy in its own right, especially after she brought back the land the Quileutes had been swindled into surrendering to the No-Maj federal authorities in return for exclusive fishing rights which were already rightfully theirs, so the tribe could resettle there, away from the rising waters which occurred because of climate change. The entire community had celebrated, Quileute and non-Quileute alike. Over the years, they flourished, achieving high numbers in the Wolf population, raising the living standards and building a thriving economy there, receiving assistance from Charlie whom they considered an honourary member of their tribe and pack, and who collaborated and trained their police force. Eventually, throughout the next few centuries, the Wolves and the regular humans, or No-Majs, separated from each other when the supernatural world had left the non-magical human world behind. Yet the human Quileutes still told stories about the legendary Wolf Warriors who guarded their lands, protected and watched over their people, and how only the brave and the wise would be called to become one of them. It was only a myth, of course, but they were never forgotten.

Not that anyone knew who Leah truly was when she was younger. To the non-Quileute humans, not just the other First Nations but everyone in general, Leah had been a source of awe and inspiration, one of the greatest heroes not only in North America, but in the world. Even in faraway New Zealand people had heard of Leah, as Charlie heard Mike Newton tell him during one of the latter's visits back to Forks to meet his parents. The Māori, like many indigenous peoples, had felt galvanised by her actions. She gave them hope, inspiration and prompted them to act in similar ways. To the Quileutes, she was their leader, their chieftess. Their warrior queen and Luna. The inspiration and benchmark whose standards successive Alphas and Lunas tried to live up to, even if they fell short. Harry and Taha Aki must've been so proud.

If only I had done the same. Perhaps I could consider it lucky that I would never have to face the burden of Gran's disappointment wherever she was now. I missed her, and suddenly, the horrifying thought occurred too late, that I realised I would never see or be reunited with all the friends and loved ones I had lost, including Gran, Charlie and Renée.

Or my daughter.

Renesmee had died a while back, not long before I set to return to Forks. Dhampyr aren't immortal, merely long-lived, and Renesmee was no exception.

The snowflakes drifted, wafting in the breeze. With my inhuman eyes, I could make out every detail as miniscule as it was, even if it drifted at speeds faster than the human eye could follow. With my perfect recall, I could remember the day Renesmee had leaped into the air and snatched a snowflake, displaying it in the middle of her tiny, perfect palm.

I never thought a sight could be so beautiful and cruel. The pain which felt like hammer blows were now daggers, stabbing mercilessly into my heart, twisting themselves deeper. I felt a sob rise up and choke my throat. But even my tear ducts were frozen. The only tears shed were the frozen water falling from the skies. A small mercy, a sign from above.

Four people had been present that day: Irina, Jacob, Renesmee and me. The other three were dead. Only I remained with the memories. Although I never had any notice informing me about Jacob's passing, I learned Wolves didn't live this long. Leah and Seth certainly hadn't, and they'd been two of the longest-lived Wolves. So, he must have died by now. The last I'd heard of him he'd sent a message to Renesmee conveyed by the Clearwaters. It was an apology, laden with shame, grief and guilt over what he had done to her. There was no faking that. Jacob was so ashamed, he couldn't bear to return to the lands of his birth, and his family, his home. Even when they forgave and invited him back. He didn't feel worthy enough to return. Renesmee understood, of course. Whether or not time healed her wounds, she ultimately forgave Jacob and set aside the past. That was the last either of them ever heard from each other, the two who used to be inseparable; or so I thought.

Jacob never sent a message nor apologised to me, but I'd made up my mind to forgive him a long time ago. I didn't know whether he had forgiven me, but regardless of whether or not he did, I chose to do so.

I stopped and blinked. Suddenly, I knew where I was. It was the clearing where our family, the packs and the witnesses on our side came to confront the Volturi during their approach. Unsurprisingly, it was empty. The starkness of it all struck me, like a ringing blow on a hollow church bell. Yet the ghosts, the echoes of people long gone, whether they were the Wolves who had by now died, or the vampires who had gone elsewhere or were executed, still remained. I could pin-point where I stood, where I hugged my daughter before passing her to Edward who put her onto Jacob's back. I could visualise the boundaries of my shield, keeping us from being affected by Demetri, Jane and Alec's powers- and Renata's. I could see where the Volturi stood and held council, where the wives, Sulpicia and Athenodora, waited silently as their husbands plotted, bound by Chelsea and Corrin. I could see where Amun and Kebi had fled as soon as Amun gave testimony, and the direction where Charles and Mackenna went.

Suddenly, they all vanished, the ghosts and phantoms of my imagination, blowing away with the breeze. The whistling wind jolted me to reality. I could no longer see them.

Not that I cared to.

I kept moving. The snow crunched beneath every step, my tracks covered by the snow that fell, erasing my presence and every trace of my existence like I'd never been there, as everything else had. The wind whipped my face and hair, snowflakes swirling around me, but I ignored them, although a part of me wished it could have caused me pain. Anything was better than the empty nothingness that echoed within my heart which existed simultaneously alongside the other pain. The pain of grief, loneliness and guilt. The feelings of death in my soul, although I can never truly die.

Slowly, the snowstorm started to die down. I paid it no notice, walking ceaselessly on until I reached the outskirts of Port Angeles- or what used to be Port Angeles. I didn't know what they called it these days. Like I said, I hadn't been back among humans for centuries, I lost track of their world. I merely glimpsed Forks and La Push from a distance; I didn't go near Port Angeles. I feared the sight of the town where I had callously abandoned Jessica to gallivant with a random stranger on a bike at night would cause me to break at the memory of my foolishness and shame. I had no idea what happened to her, and to the rest of my human friends with the sole exception of Angela. Unless something supernatural interfered with their lives, I only knew they were dead by now.

It was also the site where Edward and I had our first date, the one I never actually consented to. And where he first admitted he'd been breaking into my bedroom to watch me sleep, and I'd been flattered as much as I was embarrassed. What happened to the Italian restaurant? I wondered. Did it close? Was it sold or renovated? Was it turned into something else? Whatever it was, like everything else in my life, it was likely gone by now. Same as the bookstore where I had first brought a book on Quileute legends which led me down my foolish path.

I couldn't help shaking my head. What a stupid, foolish, hopelessly naïve seventeen-year-old I was. I knew Edward hadn't been better, any more than Jacob was, but I was still stupid. Nosy, persistent, self-absorbed... and arrogant. Somehow, I managed to be egotistical, arrogant and vain while being totally insecure and unconfident.

So many regrets. So many things I would've died or killed for to go back in time for just to avoid and land a hard blow on my head- though that would've killed me, not forced me to live out my life. And dying would have been better than the state I was in now. Edward was right about one thing.

He was rarely right about anything else, I reflected. A shame I never noticed that about him earlier. I managed to get our marriage totally and officially dissolved in a No-Maj court of law before retreating from the human world for good. Once he had been released, Edward was granted a temporary reprieve to reunite with not only the rest of his family, but me. Renesmee wasn't there, however, and she rarely showed up. She eventually forgave him, never learning the true depth of his betrayal as I had, a secret the other Cullens and I locked deep within our hearts. But she did not trust him. She didn't trust that she would feel safe around him.

Edward expected things to go back to normal, even though the Denalis and the other friends and allies we had had turned their backs onto him. Edward was openly rejected and snubbed, shunned from the new society we had built, but he thought he still had me. He was wrong.

Even after three hundred-and-thirty-three years, Edward still refused to accept that he had fallen in love with an idea, a fantasy and an image he'd conjured of me inside his head, or that I had done the same; that our love was based on deception, manipulation, lies and high-blown ideals of fantasy and romance which were neither accurate nor true. We'd disrespected each other and spat on the very concept and basis of true love when we'd mistrusted, manipulated, controlled, lied to and ignored the other's feelings and wishes. I was just as guilty as him; I'd used him too. I'd refused to see him for who he was. Looking back, I realised I saw Edward as part of a great package deal and had been just as enamoured with the possibility of being a vampire and the path which he could lead me to as I was with who I thought he was. I'd asked Alice about what it was like as a vampire, just as I'd asked Edward about the history of his family, his species. But I'd never sought to learn more about Edward, about his personal life and history, or even what he liked. Or what he must have felt being forced to endure century after century, frozen in the state of life he was when he turned, seventeen years of age. Never being allowed to truly live as opposed to merely existing, hiding within the shadows. No wonder he didn't want me to become one. That part was genuine at least.

Not that he didn't make his feelings very clear; I'd just ignored them, including his wish to see me grow old and to grow old beside me. Just as he ignored my wishes, naïve as I was, to be eternally young, beautiful, graceful and strong beside him. Neither of it mattered to either of us; this wasn't true love, and we never sought to clear the air between us. Charlie was right; we truly were living in entirely different worlds. I don't know where he is now.

I can't take it back. Rosalie was right about that too. I'd glad she finally found her peace and healed from the wounds of the past, just as Alice had, and all the other Cullens in the world we helped build. I'm glad Jacob found some measure of happiness, even if he had to lose his home, his place in his pack and his family to do so. I'm happy Seth, Leah, Embry, Quil and the rest of the pack found happiness, just as I'm glad Charlie found his place in the world and the happiness to go with it, marred as it was. I'm grateful Renée found something to be glad about after Phil had left, even if it wasn't ideal and she never met her granddaughter, nor discovered I had a child. I'm glad Renesmee lived her life to the fullest, even though she wasn't as happy as she was in the vision Lady Laima had showed me. I'm happy that my human friends had found also found joy and success in such a chaotic, volatile world. I can be glad of these things.

For me, personally, I realised there were some prices I couldn't avoid paying.

The snowstorm had stopped. The breeze was still. The snow was a clean blanket laid out ahead of me. I knew the Wolves were still watching me. Who knows what they were thinking when they saw me or what exactly their kids thought when they heard about me or saw me in their pack-mates' thoughts or after they phased for the first time. But I didn't care.

A light caused my inhuman eyes to lift themselves upwards. There. Amidst an ink-black sky, I could see it. Human eyes would miss it, especially since most of them were asleep, but I could see it as clear as day. I must have been so absorbed in my thoughts I didn't even notice the passing of time since twilight. But I didn't care to wonder how long I'd been here. I gazed up at the sky in wonder.

The Aurora Borealis. Wide bands of light: brilliant spring-green, amethyst-violet, aquamarine-blue, dawn-pink, midnight. All of them danced across the sky. Even if it was a speck in comparison to the light shows human No-Majs would enjoy and camp out for in isolated snow-covered places, it was no less bright to my eyes, and no less a wonder.

I imagined my daughter running and dancing through the wide paths of light and the stars, too distant for the messed up and chaotic world to touch but close enough for me to see, smiling and laughing. My father is there too, I know it. My grandparents, Gran included, Seth and Leah, Billy and Harry, Sue, Jacob. Even my mom. They would greet and welcome her with open arms, embracing her warmly.

The visual image of them lifted much of the weight of my grief, although it was no less present. While my sorrows threatened to crush me as much as my regrets, something within me felt lighter. It was the darkest midnight, in midwinter. Yet here we are.

I wish I was there with them. But I can't go. Not ever.

But maybe someday. Who knows how lucky I'd get? My luck could still turn. For now, I can at least watch them.

I know what I'm going to do after this. Before dawn's light fades, as the Aurora grows dim, I will make my way towards Charlie's old house. I would stare around the place, feeling another jolt of pain lancing my heart at the memory of loss and regrets. At the same time, I would stare bewildered, wondering where I was and why this place, once my home, was so unfamiliar to me.

And then I would retreat in through the portal to the Carpathians, the Old-World Coven.

I had made my arrangements. I've stayed long enough.

There's a plot of land there; an empty grave within a field of grass, flowers, marble tombs and sepulchres. Vampires of the Confederation had long since learned to put themselves in a death-like sleep. Lady Laima was right: if you lived for as long as we have, you would do anything to find relief if you can't obtain the peaceful, calm release of death. It was the closest I could ever get to it.

I wondered what I would dream. I knew the image of my daughter, running and dancing across the skies as she leaped through the Aurora Borealis and the stars before flying into the arms of her loved ones would be something I held close to my heart. Just as I knew my face and that of Renesmee's were something that sustained Edward through his dark years of imprisonment within a tomb.

For centuries I will lie within that grave. The world will rage around me. People will be born and die. Countries and civilisations would be destroyed, set ablaze either by artifice or by nature. Coastlines would be swallowed. And I would still be there.

I would endure.

As they placed me within the coffin and lowered it into the earth, I knew what would happen: I would sleep, reduced to a husk-like state, or as close enough since my species were solid crystal compared to the others, once again reliving my fantasies and preparing for a peaceful end that will never come. Even though I knew I would eventually be forced to wake and given blood infused with genetic memories by magic so I could be made aware of all that had happened while I slumbered, for a moment before I slept, for centuries as I did, I could at least pretend to rest forever. I would dream about flying through the clouds, the stars and the Aurora with my daughter, and I would greet and embrace the loved ones and friends I had lost.

There we would laugh, dancing our way through the skies and into the perfect piece of our forever.

END

Finally! I admit, at times I also didn't know where this story would take me. It's like I opened a door or a window in my brain and allowed the ideas to come flowing through. But this has always been the ending I visualised, the ending to Bella and Edward's story.

A few things to clarify here: I don't know what happened to Sam and Emily, or Kim and Jared and the other imprint-couples. They could be together, or they could have moved on. I don't know whether Quil ever sought Claire out, but you decide if they ever crossed paths by accident. Either way, they're happy where they are. You decide what happens to them. Renesmee's death, like Nahuel and his sisters, was due to natural causes. They weren't fully immortal, after all. None of them left any descendants. Huilen mourned her nephew terribly, but Nahuel had long since forgiven her for blaming him for Pire's death. He understood it was only expected and none of what Joham did, nor even Pire's choice, was fair to her. None of the Dhampyr left descendants, although it was also a deliberate choice on Renesmee's part since she never fully recovered from her past.

We haven't seen the last of the Clearwater pack. The Quileute Wolves expanded their gene pool by intermarrying with other Wolf-species and spreading it out throughout their human community. Their descendants subsequently phased and joined the pack. By the time of the epilogue, Taha Aki's descendants had expanded their gene pool large enough, so it was perfectly safe for two Quileute Wolves to have offspring. The Wolves and other supernatural beings had separated completely from the non-magical human world to live safely away from them, but the human Quileute tribe still remembered them in their stories and wondered if they were true. At that point, the International Statute of Secrecy had been broken.

Billy, Sue and Charlie had all died of entirely natural causes. The arsenic and lead in the wells supplying the city of Forks and its surrounding communities was taken from Haunting the Cullens by Fakin'it. If you're reading this, I hope you don't mind! It just makes so much sense why Harry and Billy developed health problems so quickly at such a young age and why they and Charlie's parents were no longer in the picture, among other things.

I won't say whether Edward is alive or dead by the events of the epilogue. Only that Bella hasn't seen him since their divorce was finalised and he was unable to change her mind. It's possible he's still alive, unless he's able to do something again. Either way, their part in the overall story has ended.