Naruto: The Great Ramen MisunderstandingEpisode ?: When Naruto Went Emo
The morning sun shone brightly over Konoha as Teuchi and Ayame prepared for another busy day at Ichiraku Ramen. Their experimental ramen pot had been boiling for three straight days, filling the small shop with an overwhelming aroma.
"UGH! I can't STAND the smell of this ramen anymore!" Teuchi groaned dramatically, waving his hand in front of his face. "Three days of the same broth is driving me CRAZY!"
Ayame pinched her nose, her face contorted in exaggerated disgust. "If I have to taste ONE MORE BOWL of this experimental recipe, I might actually SCREAM! My clothes, my hair, my DREAMS—they all smell like this stupid broth!"
"The things we do for that Naruto kid," Teuchi sighed, stirring the bubbling concoction. "If he wasn't our best customer..."
"And if he didn't eat enough ramen to single-handedly keep us in business," Ayame added with a giggle.
Neither noticed the shock of blonde hair and orange jumpsuit that appeared—and then vanished—at the entrance.
Naruto Uzumaki stood frozen in the street, his jaw practically touching the ground, eyes wider than when he'd first seen Kakashi-sensei's face. Had he heard correctly? Teuchi and Ayame—his ramen family—HATED RAMEN?!
The world tilted sideways. Birds flew backward. Somewhere, Orochimaru probably started helping orphans.
"They...they...they HATE RAMEN?!" he whispered to himself, clutching his heart as though he'd been struck by Sasuke's Chidori. "My entire life is a LIE!"
A passing villager gave him a strange look as Naruto fell to his knees in the middle of the street.
"Are you okay, kid?" the man asked.
Naruto looked up, his blue eyes suddenly shadowed by imaginary storm clouds. "Nothing will ever be okay again. Life is pain. Ramen is a lie. Existence is meaningless."
"Uh...right," the villager backed away slowly. "Good talk."
Naruto picked himself up, dusting off his orange jumpsuit with newfound disdain. Orange? How childish. How naïve. How...un-angsty.
"If Teuchi and Ayame have been lying to me all these years," he muttered darkly, "who else is lying? Is Kakashi-sensei's hair naturally gray? Does Iruka-sensei actually LIKE teaching? Is Sasuke secretly HAPPY?!"
This last thought stopped him cold. Sasuke. Of course! Sasuke had it right all along! The brooding, the monosyllabic responses, the dark clothing—it wasn't just a personality choice. It was a life philosophy!
With grim determination that would have made Sasuke proud (if Sasuke was capable of feeling pride, which Naruto now seriously doubted), he set off toward Konoha's shopping district. It was time for a change.
"Has anyone seen Naruto?" Sakura asked, looking around the training grounds. "He's late, even by Kakashi-sensei standards."
"Hn," Sasuke replied, leaning against a tree with practiced disinterest.
"Very insightful, Sasuke," Sakura rolled her eyes. "Your vocabulary continues to astound us all."
Kakashi appeared in a puff of smoke, his eye already fixed on his book. "Sorry I'm late. I was helping an old lady—"
"SAVE IT!" Sakura snapped. "But Naruto's even later than you are."
"That's concerning," Kakashi said, actually looking up from his book. "Naruto missing a chance to show off? The world must be ending."
"Speaking of the end of the world," Sasuke muttered, pointing to the path.
A figure approached, dressed in black from head to toe. Black sandals. Black pants. Black shirt with an unnecessarily high collar. Even black fingerless gloves. The only hint of color was a shock of blonde hair, now combed down over one eye in a style that could only be described as "trying way too hard to be Sasuke."
"Is that...?" Sakura squinted.
"No way..." Kakashi lowered his book completely.
"NARUTO?!" they exclaimed in unison.
The figure stopped before them, hands shoved deep in his pockets, shoulders slumped in what he clearly thought was a cool, disaffected posture. One visible blue eye stared at them with manufactured disdain.
"Hn," Naruto grunted.
Sasuke nearly fell over. "What. The. Hell."
"Sorry I'm late," Naruto said in a voice at least three octaves lower than his normal tone. "I was contemplating the futility of human existence and lost track of time."
Sakura's jaw dropped. "Are you feeling okay? Did you hit your head? Get possessed by a spirit? Lose a bet?"
"I'm fine," Naruto replied flatly. "This is the real me. The me that sees through the lies of the world."
"The lies of the world," Kakashi repeated slowly. "Right. And what exactly brought on this... awakening?"
Naruto turned away dramatically, his new high collar hiding the lower half of his face. "Some truths are too painful to speak aloud, sensei."
Sasuke, having recovered from his initial shock, now looked personally offended. "Are you mocking me, loser?"
"We're all losers in the game of life, Sasuke," Naruto replied solemnly. He pulled out a small black notebook and began scribbling. "That's good. I should write that down."
"OKAY, WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!" Sakura shouted, her patience evaporating.
"I told you," Naruto sighed heavily, somehow making the sigh last for a solid ten seconds. "I've seen the truth. The world is dark and cold, just like my new clothes and my soul."
"He's lost it," Sasuke declared. "Completely lost it."
"Perhaps," Kakashi mused, studying Naruto carefully, "or perhaps something happened. Naruto, did you go to Ichiraku this morning?"
A flash of genuine pain crossed Naruto's face before he reassumed his brooding expression. "Ramen is a childish distraction from the void that awaits us all."
The other three members of Team 7 exchanged alarmed glances.
"Okay," Kakashi said carefully. "Let's just proceed with today's mission and figure this out as we go."
"What pointless task awaits us today?" Naruto asked, flipping his hair dramatically. "Chasing cats? Pulling weeds? Or perhaps something truly meaningful... like watching paint dry?"
"Actually," Kakashi replied, "we're delivering medicine to outlying farms."
"Of course," Naruto sighed again, closing his notebook. "Prolonging the inevitable suffering of existence. How noble."
"I think I preferred him loud and annoying," Sakura whispered to Sasuke.
"Hn," Sasuke agreed, then caught himself with a grimace.
As Team 7 set off on their mission, Naruto walked at the back of the group, occasionally stopping to stare at clouds or pick up dead leaves, which he would examine with exaggerated intensity before sighing deeply and continuing on.
"He's driving me CRAZY," Sakura hissed to Kakashi. "He keeps sighing every thirty seconds!"
"And writing in that stupid notebook," Sasuke added. "What's he even writing?"
Kakashi shrugged. "Probably very bad poetry about darkness and pain."
"Should we be worried?" Sakura asked. "I mean, this is NARUTO. He's supposed to be running ahead, shouting about becoming Hokage, and challenging Sasuke to ridiculous contests."
"I'm more concerned about what triggered this," Kakashi replied. "He mentioned Ichiraku earlier. Something might have happened there."
Meanwhile, Naruto had stopped again, this time crouching to stare intensely at a small puddle on the ground.
"Like this puddle," they heard him mutter to himself, "my tears could fill an ocean of despair."
"That's IT!" Sasuke snapped, storming over to Naruto. "What is WRONG with you today?!"
Naruto looked up slowly, flipping his hair out of his eye with practiced precision. "Wrong? Perhaps I'm the only one who's right, Sasuke. Perhaps I finally understand why you are the way you are."
"And how am I?" Sasuke demanded, crossing his arms.
"Alone. Misunderstood. Betrayed by those you trusted most." Naruto stood up, placing a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "I get it now, man. I really do."
Sasuke stared at the hand on his shoulder like it was a poisonous spider. "Get your hand off me before I remove it permanently."
"See?" Naruto nodded sagely. "Pushing people away because you're afraid to feel. Classic Sasuke."
"I'm not afraid to feel!" Sasuke sputtered. "I feel annoyed right now! VERY annoyed!"
"It's okay," Naruto said soothingly. "Your pain speaks to my pain. We're brothers in darkness now."
"WE ARE NOT BROTHERS IN ANYTHING!" Sasuke shouted, his cool completely evaporating. "And stop copying my hairstyle! You look ridiculous!"
"Appearances are meaningless in the grand scheme of—GAH!" Naruto's philosophical musing was cut short as Sasuke shoved him backward into the puddle he'd been contemplating.
"MY OUTFIT!" Naruto wailed in his normal voice, then caught himself, quickly lowering back to his new brooding tone. "I mean... the water represents the tears of my soul. This is fine."
"This is going to be a very long day," Kakashi sighed, rubbing his visible eye.
By the time they reached the first farm, Naruto had decorated his new black outfit with several dead leaves and a small twig, claiming they represented "the inevitable decay of all living things." Sasuke had threatened to kill him no less than seventeen times, and Sakura was seriously considering knocking him unconscious just for some peace and quiet.
The elderly farmer greeted them warmly. "Oh, thank you for bringing my wife's medicine! She's been in such pain—"
"Pain," Naruto interrupted, stepping forward with his newfound slouch. "Pain is the only constant in this cruel world, old man. We're born in pain, we live in pain, we die in—"
Kakashi slapped a hand over Naruto's mouth. "So sorry about that! My student is going through a... phase."
"A phase?" the farmer echoed, confused.
"Puberty," Sakura clarified with an apologetic smile. "Very difficult time."
"Ah," the farmer nodded sympathetically. "My grandson went through something similar. Dyed his hair blue and started raising beetles in his room. Kids, eh?"
Naruto removed Kakashi's hand from his mouth. "Your grandson sounds like he understands the beautiful tragedy of existence."
"No, he was just weird," the farmer replied. "He grew out of it, though. Now he's a perfectly normal accountant."
"ACCOUNTANT?!" Naruto looked genuinely horrified, his emo persona cracking. "That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard!"
"Says the kid dressed like a funeral director," Sasuke muttered.
After they left the farm, Kakashi pulled Naruto aside while Sakura and Sasuke continued ahead.
"Alright, enough is enough," Kakashi said firmly. "What happened at Ichiraku this morning?"
Naruto's carefully constructed brooding facade crumbled slightly at the mention of the ramen shop. "Nothing. Nothing happened."
"Naruto," Kakashi pressed, "you've completely changed your personality, you're dressed like Sasuke's unfortunate cousin, and you haven't mentioned ramen or becoming Hokage even once today. Something obviously happened."
"Fine," Naruto huffed, crossing his arms. "If you must know... I discovered that Teuchi and Ayame HATE ramen! They've been LYING to me all these years!"
Kakashi blinked. "They... what?"
"I heard them this morning!" Naruto's voice cracked with emotion. "Teuchi said he couldn't STAND the smell anymore, and Ayame said if she had to taste another bowl, she'd SCREAM! It was all a LIE, Kakashi-sensei! My favorite food! My favorite place! All FAKE!"
"I see," Kakashi said slowly, the pieces falling into place. "And this revelation made you decide to... become a mini-Sasuke?"
"Well, if Teuchi and Ayame have been lying to me, who else has been lying?" Naruto demanded, his voice returning to its normal volume. "Maybe everybody secretly hates me and is just pretending! Maybe Sasuke's got it right—trust no one, care about nothing, wear uncomfortable high-collared shirts for no apparent reason!"
Kakashi suppressed a chuckle. "I think we need to finish this mission and then have a talk with Teuchi and Ayame. There might be more to this story than you realized."
"Whatever," Naruto replied, flipping his hair dramatically. "Nothing matters anyway."
"Also," Kakashi added, "that voice you're doing is going to damage your vocal cords if you keep it up all day."
The rest of the mission proceeded with Naruto continuing his brooding act, though with noticeably less enthusiasm. By the third farm, he had given up on the deep voice entirely, and his slouched posture had begun to give him back pain.
"Being emo is HARD," he complained to Sakura as they headed back to the village. "How does Sasuke do this all day? My neck hurts, this collar is choking me, and I'm STARVING because I haven't eaten all day!"
"Why haven't you eaten?" Sakura asked.
"Because," Naruto replied dramatically, "food is just another distraction from the pain of—"
"If you say 'existence' one more time," Sasuke threatened from ahead, "I will personally ensure your existence ends today."
"Touchy," Naruto mumbled, then whispered to Sakura, "See how deep and complex he is?"
"I can HEAR you!" Sasuke snapped.
When they finally returned to Konoha, Kakashi dismissed Sakura and Sasuke but asked Naruto to accompany him.
"Where are we going?" Naruto asked, still trying to maintain his brooding persona despite being visibly tired of it.
"To get some answers," Kakashi replied simply.
As they approached Ichiraku Ramen, Naruto balked. "No way! I'm never going back there again! My heart can't take any more betrayal!"
"Trust me," Kakashi said, gently but firmly steering Naruto toward the shop. "I think you need to hear what they have to say."
Inside Ichiraku, Teuchi and Ayame were surprised to see them—especially Naruto in his new all-black ensemble.
"Naruto!" Teuchi exclaimed. "We missed you at breakfast! And... what happened to your clothes?"
"And your hair?" Ayame added, staring at his now-flat blonde locks.
"My appearance reflects the darkness in my soul," Naruto replied stiffly, avoiding their eyes. "Just like your hatred of ramen reflects the lies you've been telling me for years."
Teuchi and Ayame exchanged confused glances.
"Hatred of... what now?" Teuchi asked.
"Don't pretend!" Naruto burst out, pointing an accusing finger. "I heard you this morning! You said you couldn't STAND the smell of ramen anymore, and Ayame said if she had to taste one more bowl, she'd SCREAM!"
Understanding dawned on both their faces, followed immediately by relief.
"Oh, Naruto," Ayame laughed, "you misunderstood! We weren't talking about ramen in general!"
"We were talking about the experimental recipe we've been working on," Teuchi explained. "For the past three days, we've been trying to perfect a new special ramen just for you—as a surprise for when you become a Chunin."
"The 'Naruto Special,'" Ayame added. "But the recipe is really complex, and we've been working on it non-stop, sleeping in shifts so the broth doesn't ruin."
"That's what you heard this morning," Teuchi continued. "We love ramen! How could we run a ramen shop if we didn't?"
Naruto stood frozen, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. "So... you don't hate ramen?"
"Of course not!" they exclaimed in unison.
"And you weren't lying to me all these years?"
"Never," Teuchi said firmly. "You're our best customer and our friend, Naruto."
"And if we didn't like making ramen," Ayame added practically, "we'd have opened a dango shop instead. Much easier hours."
Naruto's eyes filled with tears, his emo façade crumbling completely. "I've been such an IDIOT! I thought my whole world was a lie, so I tried to be all dark and brooding like Sasuke, but it's SO BORING being Sasuke! Do you know he just says 'Hn' to EVERYTHING?!"
"It does seem limiting conversationally," Kakashi agreed with amusement.
"And these clothes are so HOT and UNCOMFORTABLE!" Naruto continued, pulling at his high collar. "And I haven't eaten ANY RAMEN today because I thought I had to hate it now!"
"Well, we can fix that right now," Teuchi smiled, already reaching for a bowl. "How about a taste test of the Naruto Special? It's not perfect yet, but maybe you can help us finish it."
Naruto's eyes lit up like stars. "REALLY?! You'd let me taste the secret recipe?!"
"Of course," Ayame laughed. "It's named after you, after all."
As Teuchi prepared the special ramen, Naruto climbed onto his usual stool, already tearing off the uncomfortable black fingerless gloves.
"Man, being emo is EXHAUSTING," he declared. "How does Sasuke keep it up all the time?"
"Years of practice, I imagine," Kakashi replied, taking the seat next to him.
When the steaming bowl of ramen was placed before him—with extra chashu pork, a richer broth, and special spices—Naruto's eyes widened in delight.
"THIS SMELLS AMAZING!" he shouted, immediately diving in. After the first bite, he froze, then looked up at Teuchi with tears in his eyes. "This... this is the BEST RAMEN I'VE EVER HAD! BELIEVE IT!"
"Welcome back, Naruto," Kakashi smiled beneath his mask.
The next day, Team 7 met at their usual bridge. Kakashi was, predictably, late.
"GOOD MORNING, SAKURA-CHAN! GOOD MORNING, SASUKE!" Naruto bellowed as he ran onto the bridge, once again clad in his bright orange jumpsuit, his hair spiky and untamed.
"You're back to normal," Sakura observed with obvious relief. "Thank goodness. One Sasuke is definitely enough."
"Hn," Sasuke grunted, leaning against the railing.
A mischievous grin spread across Naruto's face. He moved to lean against the railing next to Sasuke, crossing his arms and assuming a perfect imitation of Sasuke's posture.
"Hn," he echoed solemnly.
Sasuke's eye twitched. "Don't start that again."
"Hn," Naruto repeated, flipping imaginary bangs out of his eyes.
"I'm warning you, Naruto..."
"Hn. No one understands my pain. Life is darkness. Why am I so handsome yet so tortured?" Naruto droned, now fully committed to his Sasuke impression.
Sakura burst out laughing as Sasuke's face reddened with irritation.
"That's NOT what I sound like!"
"Hn. My collar isn't high enough. I need more hair gel. Revenge is my only friend," Naruto continued, now strutting around the bridge in an exaggerated moody walk.
"THAT'S IT!" Sasuke lunged at Naruto, who dodged with a laugh.
"What's wrong, Sasuke? Feeling too many emotions? Better write some poetry about it in your little black book!"
As the two boys chased each other around the bridge, Sakura watched with amusement. "Well, things are definitely back to normal."
Kakashi appeared in a puff of smoke, took one look at the scene, and sighed. "I miss emo Naruto already. He was so much quieter."
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto shouted, dodging another of Sasuke's lunges. "DID YOU KNOW SASUKE NAMES ALL HIS KUNAI? THE BLACK ONE IS 'DESPAIR' AND THE REALLY SHARP ONE IS 'MOTHER'S TEARS'!"
"I DO NOT!" Sasuke roared, his usually cool demeanor completely shattered.
"And he practices his brooding face in the mirror! I saw him doing it once during a mission!"
"PREPARE TO DIE, NARUTO!"
Kakashi pulled out his book with a resigned sigh. "Definitely miss emo Naruto."
But as the morning sunlight bathed the bridge, even Sasuke couldn't completely hide the relief in his eyes. Having Naruto back to his loud, obnoxious, ramen-loving self felt right somehow—like the natural order had been restored.
After all, there could only be one brooding, angsty member of Team 7.
And nobody could pull off that high collar quite like Sasuke.
THE END