He was in an empty abyss. There was nothing around him, he was nothing, existence was nothing. What color was non-existence, he wondered, would it be considered black? It didn't feel like black, no, it felt like nothing. After all, Shinji was surrounded by nothing.
"It's time to wake up." Distant calls from the Morning Glory kids rang in his head, usually followed by one of the boys jumping on him to bring him out of his slumber.
"I don't feel like waking up," He groaned, preferring the nothingness, he had a strange feeling he wouldn't like waking up.
The voices left him alone, for a while he was in nothingness. Until he wasn't.
"Huh?" He looked up, nothingness had been replaced with a train car bathed in afternoon light.
He was alone in the train car except for one person, a child dressed in a pair of shorts and a striped shirt. It was him, the day his father left him with his tutor. His shoulders were scrunched up, as if being touched would shatter him like glass. He remembered that feeling, he hated it.
"I never want to feel like that again," He told himself, the younger version did not seem to acknowledge his voice.
A part of him understood what was happening, staying asleep in nothingness would be returning to this overwhelming nothingness. He had to wake up.
The first thing that came back to him was touch, the feeling of a soft blanket over him. Next was hearing, it was mostly quiet with a distinct buzzing noise in the background. After that he could taste the drool in his mouth, it was bitter. What he didn't expect next was his feeling. He felt…tingly. No, that wasn't right. Sensitive. Yeah, he felt sensitive. Finally his eyes opened, he was in the hospital again just like after he first arrived at Tokyo-3.
"You're awake."
Shinji whipped his head around to the voice beside him, sitting in a chair waiting for him was none other than Rei. She sat so completely still he didn't even know she was there.
"Rei? What happened, why am I in the hospital?" His attempt to sit up straight was marred with a soreness he hadn't felt in a long time, nothing short of Kazuma-sans training made him ever feel like this.
"At 1356 hours, Unit-01 engaged the Angel now named Ramiel. At 1357 hours Ramiel fired at Unit-01, causing severe damage. Your plug was super heated to severe temperatures and so Captain Katsuragi ordered your immediate retreat. Afterwards you were hospitalized."
Ah, so that's why his skin felt so weird. "Boiled alive…" Maybe it's best he doesn't remember that amount of excruciating pain. "Thank you, Rei, for letting me know. And for sitting here, waiting for me, I really appreciate it."
"I am only here to update you on Captain Katsuragi's orders," She pulled out a small notebook.
"Oh."
Rei quickly detailed what plans Misato had for him, the mission timeline was pretty strict. They were to be dressed in an hour and depart to Mt. Futago where they will wait until midnight to engage the Angel again. It sounded absurd when Rei told him they had procured a massive cannon strong enough to destroy the Angel from the SSDF, but then again he was piloting a big robot so what was he to say about absurdity.
"I have also brought dinner," Rei pulled a cart near his bed, "Once you are ready, report to the cage. Here is your replacement plug suit." She tossed a plastic bag onto the bed, as she said his clothes were inside.
A sudden idea flashed through his mind, what was he wearing? He looked down to realize he had been stripped bare as the day he was born with barely anything covering his lower body.
"AGH!" He yanked the sheets up to cover up to his chin. "I'M SORRY!"
Rei did not react, "I must go now, Captain Katsuragi and Dr. Ritsuko are waiting, farewell." She stood up and exited the room, leaving Shinji alone.
Finally alone, Shinji could collect his thoughts. He looked down at himself, on his chest was a slightly discolored circle of skin. Touching it revealed a smooth, almost leathery, texture. It was a reminder of his close call with death.
"Huh, I almost died," He didn't know how to process that. Sure, he almost died fighting Sachiel and Shamshel, but he only felt the EVA's pain. He himself was not injured in those fights, there was a disconnect there. But this? He could have really died fighting this Angel.
He let out a shaky breath and his hand started to shake. "Calm down," He told himself, "Relax." He took control of his breathing, right now he needed some air.
He grabbed the bag filled with clothes and put on his casual set of clothes, his phone was even in his pocket. He looked down at the spare plug suit and hesitated for a moment, he could vaguely feel the wound on his chest, and decided not to bring it with him.
He left the hospital wing and stood on a crosswalk between the two buildings, from his view he could see most of the Geofront. It was a nice view, the lake was serene despite the rather large Frigate parked on it. He briefly wondered how the ship got down here? Did it even work?
A ring on his phone interrupted his thoughts, pulling it out revealed the caller to be from Morning Glory. He went to hang up the call, but stopped just before his thumb pressed the button. He slid his thumb across the row of buttons and pressed answer.
"Hello?" Shinji asked.
"Hey man, you okay?" It was Taichi, although he was the one to talk, he could hear whispers in the background. It was very likely everyone else was there too. "You heard about the power going out later today, right?"
He hadn't, probably announced when he was in the hospital, "Uh, yeah. I'm on my way back to the apartment right now. How about you guys, are you sure you'll be fine?"
"Don't worry about us," Eri spoke up, "We have a spare generator, and more importantly Uncle Kaz. We just wanted to make sure you were going to be alright."
He smiled, there was something about having people worry about him that made him feel warm. That feeling quickly went away as he was reminded of the wound on his chest, and that he was going to have to confront the enemy who inflicted it upon him…again. "Of course," Shinji lied.
"How's Uncle Kaz doing?" Shinji asked, "And you guys, anything new?"
They updated him on recent happenings, mostly their school work. Most of the kids of Morning Glory were getting older, ready to graduate from school. Technically Ayako was the first, as she was a permanent resident of Morning Glory, but Haruka graduated before her. The rest of the kids weren't far behind, in a year or two half the orphanage would be off towards universities or working jobs.
"Oh, and don't forget the juiciest bit of new info." Taichi giggled in a way Shinji knew meant trouble.
"Taichi please…" Ayako whined, she clearly didn't want to continue this conversation.
"Ayako has a boyfriend, Ayako has a boyfriend~!" In the background Izumi sung out joyously, he heard some scuffling and more giggling from Izumi.
"And there goes Ayako." Shiro said, commentating over Ayako likely chasing Izumi around the house.
"Does she really have a boyfriend?" Shinji asked, Ayako was always a diligent student and rarely spent her time away from the orphanage or studying. Having a boyfriend would be a large leap for her.
"No clue," Shiro admitted, "Taichi saw it go down."
"Yep, I saw it with both my eyes. Our fearless and dutiful Ayako talking with this cute boy~, blushing and laughing at everything he said!" Taichi may have teased Ayako, but Shinji knew it was in good jest. In fact, Taichi was the most reliable of the orphanage's residents.
Shinji thought back to when Koji was dealing with a bully at school, it had been going on for a few months by the time Taichi learned about it. The big brother of the orphanage spared no time protecting Koji from the bullies' harassment. Whether it was bullies or help around the house, Taichi was always there to lend a hand.
"What about you Shinji; met any girls lately?" Taichi egged him on.
Shinji thought back to Rei, the strangely detached co-worker of his. He wanted to ask so much about her, like why his father liked her more? Why did she act so strange? And why was her hair blue and her eyes red? Most importantly of all, why would she pilot a robot that could kill her?
"That doesn't sound like a no to me," Shiro wryly pointed out.
"Don't be afraid to ask her out!" Taichi followed up.
"Uh, what, um no. Not really. Wait, I mean it's not like that!" Shinji blurted out, embarrassment quickly taking over.
The boys laughed at Shinji's pain, Shinji couldn't help but chuckle too. At a time like this, it was sorely needed.
"Ahem," Shinji turned his gaze from the Geofront to a voice beside him, standing slightly peeved and with a bit of concern on her face was his guardian, Misato.
He looked down at his watch, the time to reach his cage had already elapsed. He was late. "Hey guys, I'll call you back later. I have to go now."
By now the laughing and commotion had stopped, and all the kids of Morning Glory huddled around the phone, "Call back soon!" They said in unison before saying personal farewells.
Shinji hung up the phone and turned to Misato, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't keeping track of the time."
Misato hand waved the problem and walked up to him, leaning on the rail looking out to the Geofront. "I get it, you're just reminding yourself of the family you have. Everyone does it." Her voice was somewhat distant, sad even.
"Yeah," Shinji looked down at his phone, "Lately I've been reminded just how easy things can go wrong. Fighting Angels is painful, but it's really no different than any other fight. This time was different, I almost died. Some part of me wants to run away and never pilot the EVA again. But I know if I don't people will get hurt, or worse."
Misato did not look away from the horizon, "I wish I was better at this," She admitted, "I just don't know how to do heart to heart conversations."
Shinji chuckled, "It's okay, I know you try. That has to count for something, right?"
They stood in silence for some time, before Misato sighed, "Can I be honest with you Shinji?" She asked.
Shinji looked at her, a look of confusion painted on his face, "Um, sure."
"I wish I could be you." She said quite honestly.
"Excuse me?" His confusion grew larger, who would want to be him?
"I don't think I've ever told anyone, I'm sure Ritsuko knows, but I hate them," Shinji was put off-guard by Misato's tone, it was full of venom and spite. He had never heard her talk like this.
"The Angels?" Shinji asked.
Misato nodded, whether subconsciously or not her hand reached up to her cross necklace, "The day of Second Impact, I lost my father, weeks later I learned I lost my mother. I had…have complicated feelings about them, feelings I never got to resolve. A lot of angry feelings."
She continued, "I always wanted to return the feeling, to pay them back for all they took from me. I joined the military for that reason, you should have seen my surprise when I was told the actual pilots were two girls who aren't even old enough to drive a car. I was pretty jealous, at the time the most I could do
"And the only way to resolve them is by defeating the Angels?"
"It's the only way I can think of, otherwise what else would I have left?"
"Then you don't have to worry," Shinji turned to face her head on, "I will defeat the Angel."
Misato chuckled, "Thank you Shinji,
To Become A Dragon
The makeshift base on Mt. Futago was incredible, in mere hours NERV had cleared out a plateau for the EVA. The far end of the base had a wall of steel built like a castle's ramparts with a big sniper the size of an EVA aimed directly at the Angel. It was very impressive. That said…
"So, is this thing going to work?" Shinji asked.
Standing in the middle of this makeshift fortress alongside Shinji was Misato, Rei, and Dr. Akagi, drowned in a sea of lights casting towering shadows, they all stood facing the newly retrieved rifle and watched as the engineering teams got to work.
"In theory, yes." Dr. Akagi answered.
Shinji looked at the blonde haired woman with concern, "In theory?" He repeated.
She shrugged, "It's never been tested in this kind of situation before," She pointed to the barrel, "There are two points of failure, the barrel," she then pointed to the center of the rifle, "And the accelerator. We simply won't know if it can handle the power output until we fire it."
Shinji mumbled how the least the doctor could do was lie to him, knowing he was firing at an Angel that nearly killed him was worrying enough. To add on that the rifle was also unproven and could literally blow up in his face was not helpful.
"Listen up you two," Misato called out with her serious voice, "Here's the plan. Shinji, because of your higher sync rate with Unit-01, you will be firing the gun."
Shinji simply nodded.
"Rei, you'll be on defense with Unit-00."
"Yes ma'am." Rei acknowledged.
"Listen carefully Shinji," Dr. Akagi started, "This mission will require impeccable precision, meaning you will have to account for variables during this mission."
"Like what?" Shinji asked, worry again started to creep in on him.
"You will have to correct for the Earth's rotation, magnetic field, and gravity. You must only hit the core, don't forget that." Dr. Akagi warned.
"I, ugh…" Shinji wouldn't say he was terrible at aiming, but he definitely wasn't the best. "I'm not sure I'm good enough for that."
"Don't worry, just follow instructions until the reticles are aligned, the machine will do the rest."
Well, Shinji thought, at least that took some worry out of him.
"One more thing," Dr. Akagi said, "After every shot the gun will need to cool down and have its fuse changed, so it will take time to fire again."
And there went his reassurance, "Don't miss, got it, no problem." He told himself as if it wasn't that hard and that if he missed he wouldn't die.
"So then, I am to protect Unit-01?" Rei asked
"Correct." Misato told her.
"Understood."
With nothing left to tell them, Misato sent the two pilots to get dressed. It was a small makeshift dress room with a curtain splitting the room in half. Shinji found it to be incredibly uncomfortable undressing near a girl. Especially when he could see her silhouette while she changed.
Shinji coughed, "So, um…" Turned away from Rei's side of the room in respect and tried to start a conversation that didn't make this situation any more awkward.
"You are afraid you will die," Rei said, it was not a question but a statement.
"Of course, aren't you?" Shinji asked.
She didn't immediately respond, the soft hiss of her plugsuit settling into place told him she was dressed, "Do not worry, I will protect you."
Shinji distinctly noted how she didn't answer his question, but before he could act on that thought she was already walking out the door. Shinji hurried with his dressing and followed her out the door to the EVA's. Because they were set up in a temporary base, both units were connected to large frames that held them up straight. Rei did not hesitate to climb the ladder up to her plug, he did the same.
As he reached the top, Rei was already sitting on a metal platform overlooking the city. She looked serene, at peace. It was disturbing to see her so calm when death was so close.
For a while, he struggled to think of what to ask her. Or rather, how to ask her. He didn't know how to properly ask her why he thought she was so ready to die. Was it confidence? Or pure faith? He doubted it was arrogance, she never struck him as the arrogant type. As time passed the operation-start neared, if he didn't ask now he would not get another chance.
"Hey, Rei?" He started.
"Yes?" She asked.
"How do you…er-Why are you-no that's not it." He struggled to find his words, he turned to her to see that Rei was looking at him with those big round red eyes of hers. He didn't know how, but the question he needed to ask hit him. "Why do you pilot the EVA? Even if you know it might lead to you dying."
She didn't answer immediately, perhaps taking a second to think about it, "It's my connection." She simply said.
"Connection? To my father? Or…?" He didn't bother to assume more.
"To everything, to everyone."
The way she said that, it sounded so lonely. So sad. "What about me?"
She looked at him confused, "To you?"
"Yeah, I mean, the only reason we met is because of this," He motioned to his surroundings, "But that doesn't mean it has to be the only thing connecting us. Just because we're technically co-workers, doesn't mean that's all that connects us."
Shinji stood up and walked to Rei's end of the platform and stretched his hand out, "Let's do our best, and try not to die."
Rei looked at him a little surprised, she returned to her normal expression and grabbed his hand. "Yes, let's."
It was time, Shinji entered into Unit-01 and Rei Unit-00 respectively. Before he did, he took one last look out onto Tokyo-3 and watched as all the lights dimmed, there was no more light in all of Japan.
As he situated himself into the plug Dr. Akagi wasted no time explaining to him the ins and outs of the modifications installed into his plug, but they all boiled down to aim and fire. Just like his training early on.
"Here's the situation," Misato spoke up in his ear, "Every piece of artillery we have is going to fire on that angel, while it's distracted you will charge the rifle and fire it directly at its core. We only have so much we can throw at it until it focuses its attention back to you, so make it count."
"Got it." Shinji nodded.
Through the head piece attached to his plug he could see the angel much more clearly, he could hear it too. Even as it was, drilling into Tokyo-3, it made noises. Was it singing? Humming a tune? Whatever it was, it struck him as melodic. Angelic even. Like a thousand choirs singing at once.
The radio in his EVA lit up, he could hear so many voices communicating over the line. The energy of all of Japan was being siphoned into the gun, the operation had started. All around Tokyo-3 automated defenses started firing at the Angel, Ramiel, he remembered.
Amidst the sea of voices he could hear a command, "Arm gun to fire!" That was his cue, he readied the battery. In his hands he could feel the rifle start to warm, there was a tremendous amount of electricity flowing through this thing right now.
As his zoom focused he realized just how impossible this Angel was, it rapidly shifted its form to directly adapt to the weapons fire. And the sound it made when it fired back sent a chill down his spine. If its natural state was a thousand choirs in harmonious sync, its aggressive state was a thousand choirs in anguish. Like a banshee's wail. Shinji was no killer, but if this was truly an angel of God he knew it could not be left on this planet.
The scope clicked, signalling it was ready. "Fire!" The voice of Misato came in through the radio, Shinji did not hesitate.
Shinji pulled the trigger and a lance of light shot through the air directly at Ramiel. The angel screeched as it expanded out into a star of spikes. Shinji's aim was true.
"I got it!" He exclaimed.
He had spoken too soon, the angel reformed immediately and grew, and grew, and grew again before letting out its banshee wail. It was firing directly at him.
A flash of brilliant light was all he saw before pain overcame his right arm. As quickly as it came, so did it leave. Shinji clutched his arm in pain breathing in and out, trying to deal with it the same way he dealt with Sachiel. "It's not your real arm, it's not your real arm." He muttered to himself, it didn't stop hurting any less.
The radio crackled back to life, "Shinji, are you there!?" Misato's voice spoke up, "We need you to get back up and fire again!"
"I…I'm trying." He only barely muttered as he shakily grabbed the controls.
He became aware of his surroundings, not only had the Angel blown up the entire side of Mt. Futago, but it had sent him flying. Such was the power of the Angel. Shinji lurched forward to the rifle, it was a bit dusty but still looked like it could work. He cocked the gun to let out the already used fuse.
"This is it Shinji," Misato said, "We're entrusting all the power of Japan, all life on this planet, to you. Go get 'em."
Shinji raised the rifle, aiming it directly at the Angel, "Yes ma'am."
The auto-targeting was fried, he would have to do this manually. One shot, no more mistakes. He didn't know how, but he could almost feel Ramiels eyes bore down on him, this was it for both of them. Either Ramiels kills him, or he kills Ramiel. And Shinji wasn't ready to say die.
THE 5TH ANGEL
RAMIEL
THUNDER OF GOD
Both started to charge up their attacks, but Ramiel was the first to fire. Its unholy banshee wail lit up the sky as it prepared to blast Shinji into nothingness. He was not ready, the gun had just cooled and he hadn't locked in his aim. He needed help, protection, he needed…
"Rei!" Shinji called out.
Ramiel fired and Shinji closed his eyes, ready to feel the full brunt of Ramiels might, but it never came. Standing in front of him with a shield made up of a space shuttle was Rei, protecting him from the blast.
Shinji did not waste words, instead looking down the metaphorical scope to his target. His world focused, right now there was nothing else in this world besides him and his target. Barely audible ticks counted down to how close he was to his target as he corrected his aim.
"Why," Tick. "Dont," Tick. "You," Tick. "Just," His aim clicked in place.
"DIE!" He roared as he pulled the trigger.
The positron rifle erupted, the energy fired into the beam of energy Ramiel used as a weapon. Bit by bit the positron pushed back against Ramiel until it finally shot through its target. The Angel shut back close and let out a dying wail as it finally fell to the ground dead.
Shinji let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. He looked in front of him, Rei's shield had all but evaporated and Unit-00 stood scorched just as bad as he was when he first tried to fight the Angel.
"Rei!" He threw away the rifle and grabbed the EVA, it fell into him like Rei was unconscious. The entire exterior was super heated, he had to cool it down.
He looked around to find a nearby lake and threw Unit-00 into it, the water helped cool it down but it wouldn't be enough to cool it down, he had to take the plug out completely.
"Hold on Rei!" He shouted as he pulled out his progressive knife and jammed it into the back of Unit-00's neck.
As the plug popped out a burst of LCL spurted out, draining from the inside. Shinji carefully grabbed the plug and set it down, he was quick to exit his EVA and run to Rei. He was about to open the plug when he realized it was still hot to the touch. He hesitated for just a moment before grabbing hold of the wheel and turning it. The metal was scalding hot, but he wouldn't let that stop him. With just a couple rotations the lid to the inside of the plug opened and Shinji desperately looked inside.
"Rei, are you okay!?"
Sitting with an exhausted look in the chair was Rei, her chest visibly rose up and down as she made laborious breaths. "Shinji?" She asked in a slightly delirious voice.
"Yeah, it's me," He stepped into the pod and grabbed her arm, "Come on, let's get you out of here." Shinji slung her arm around the back of his neck and helped her stand.
Rei shakily stood up, he doubted she could properly walk without help, as the two carefully exited the plug. Free from the incredibly hot plug, Shinji could finally feel just how warm Rei was. He gently let her sit down on the ground, away from the plug and the more destroyed parts of Mt. Futago.
Now with perspective he could see the full scale of the damage. Half of the mountain had been destroyed, not in the sense that whatever was there is now gone but that half of the actual mountain was gone. The front side of the mountain that had taken Ramiels attack has been sheared clean, the area around the impact site looked like a wasteland. Where once there was a healthy ecosystem full of trees, was now a smoldering pile of ash. It was a mercy that even so close to where Ramiel fired, there still lived some life.
Shinji had to remember that this wasn't the only spot hit by Ramiels attacks, all across Tokyo-3 were mountains now littered with holes. That was the power of an Angel, devastating and almighty. It was a miracle that Ramiel did not attack the city properly, if it had, who knows how catastrophic it could have been. At that moment, Shinji understood Misato's anger. Her rage against the Angels. And he quickly understood his own feelings towards Angels.
"Shinji," He was brought out of his thoughts and looked down, Rei laid out in the grass looking at him, "Thank you."
He gave a small smile before stretching his hand out, "What are friends for?" He asked.
Rei didn't immediately answer, her eyes looked at his hands for a moment before grabbing it. As the two walked off to be greeted by Misato, Shinji looked back at his fellow pilot. He could have sworn he saw her smile.
Apologies for the delay, I had some issues writing this chapter. But before all that, let's start from the top. Eagle-eyed viewers might noticed a few peculiar scenes, if you guessed that they're from the Rebuild movie you are correct. Ramiel's fight in Rebuild was the inspiration for this chapter, how can I not use that version? It's simply iconic. Of course there was one minor change, in that Ramiel doesn't explode into a huge pile of blood like in Rebuild. Otherwise it's a pretty faithful recreation of the Rebuild version of events.
That said, I had a really hard time matching one scene to fit with the current stories events. Misato and Shinji talking on the bridge outside of the hospital was difficult to write. In Rebuild Misato has an almost hostile attitude towards Shinji that doesn't fit for OG Eva, or even for this story. I tried to make it about Misato's hatred to the Angels but I'm not sure if it worked. Anyways, as always, thank you for reading.