So there I was... On my knees.. Slightly roughed up... With my party members standing in front of me... And an extremely murderous aura emanating from all three of them.
"So..."
All three quickly interrupted me with an aggressive glare.
"So what? How about you explain the stacks of bras and panties?...". Megumin was surely mad because of my seemingly perverted actions. "...They weren't even mine". What?
"Exactly, whose are those, ehhh?". Wait, what the hell are these two exactly mad about?
"Kazuma...". I gulped. What could Aqua be mad about? She never really cared. "If that was a party trick, I'll beat that skill out of you". I should have known better than expect anything reasonable from her.
Think... THINK!... I need a good excuse... Ohhh, I got it.
"I sneaked out with some drinking buddies, so we simply had fun testing the magnificent power of my steal skill".
"..."
"Ohhh, so it wasn't a party trick?". Aqua left happy, without a care in the world.
"W-w-was that all?". I nodded. "I'm glad". Now Megumin left happily.
Darkness, still mad, looked at me suspiciously. Then, after the other two moved further away, she approached my ear.
"Please don't tell me you went somewhere in your thief form". Now out of all the times for her to use her brain.
"No".
She keep looking at me with suspicion. But, after some moment of deliberation, she sighed and gave up on the idea.
"Okay then". Phew, I'm saved.
Knock, knock.
"Someone is knocking at the door!". Aqua, who had already reached the sofa, was as useless as ever.
"Yeah, yeah". I went to open it... Oh, it was the butler working for the Dustiness family.
"Good day, my lord". He bowed elegantly. I like it, maybe I should tell everyone to do it. "May I speak with Lady Dustiness?"
"You mean, Miss Lalatina? I mean, the demon knight Lala-". "Oughhhh". Some very powerful muscular hands came from behind me grabbed my neck and started strangling me.
"What do I owe your visit for?". She talked so indifferently that one could almost forget that she was still choking me.
"There was an incident at the palace, and multiple families where alerted of it."
"What happened?
"Oughgh". She is still not letting me go.
"A group of thieves managed to enter the palace, even with all the defences up".
"Really? That's awful...". I felt her hands squeezing harder. "Did they steal anything?"
"Ouggghhhggghhh".
"Yes they have. They managed to reach the queen's room. Luckily she was meeting with her personal guards, but the two thieves launched some steal spell that robbed the queen and her guards of all their underwear."
"That... Is... Awful...". Her grip on my neck became much stronger. "Who... would... do... such a thing?"
"Ouggghhhggghhhggghhhggghhhggghhhggghhh".
"They appear to have been the two thieves involved in the robberies a while ago, but this time the queen got traumatized and the entire palace is in full alert. They have completely locked down the palace and reinforced its defence.
"I'm so sorry for the queen... So... Very.. Sorry". Darkness shook me by the neck at every one of those words, all without easing her grip.
"That is all I came here to inform you. So have a great day". He looked at me, putting a lot of effort in not showing any emotion. "Same to you my lord". And he left.
"Who was it?" Megumin approached us at the entrance.
"Oh nothing important... Nothing... At... ALL!". She was still shaking me.
We went to my room to discuss.
"Why Kazuma... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!". Darkness paced around the room, back and forth, quickly and abruptly.
"Why do you keep doing stuff like that?". In her current light clothes, her breasts were jumping all over the place.
"Why do you keep involving Chris into this?" Boing... Boing... Boing... Boing...
"Are you even listening?"
"Absolutely". Not.
"Then answer me".
"Okay okay".
I briefly explained to her that we were simply scouting the area, and used steal only to make it look like we were simple thieves, and totally weren't scouting the area.
She took some time to digest what had happened.
Sigh.
"Hey ther-". Chris peeked into the room through the open window. "My bad, you seem busy". She tried to leave, but Darkness quickly grabbed her and pulled her into the room.
"So...". Chris looked at Darkness' expression. "I guess the cat is out of the bag."
"indeed..."
"So what now?" Chris simply moved forward in the topic.
"Mmmh... Let's just get this over with". Ehhh?
"What do you mean, Darkness?"
"I know that Kazuma won't stop until he has liberated Princess Iris... So... I'll help out...". WHAT?. "I'll go with you two to make sure you don't screw it up and traumatize the queen again". No way.
"That would be fun. What do you think Kazuma?". Chris looked at me with quite a mischievous look on her face. I still can't put my finger on the way Chris has changed.
"Sure". As if I could say anything against it.
"So let's go tonight and finish this once and for all".
"But Darkness, we still don't know where they are keeping Iris".
"What do you mean, she's at the second tower. It is the most secure room to put someone to both protect her and not allow her to leave".
"Ohhh". That simplifies things.
"So, do you have a way to get inside the palace, Kazuma?"
"Yes Darkness, there is a nearby area that I can teleport us too"
"Perfect".
"Uoggghhhhhgggghhghghhh". Darkness was choking me and shaking me with all her might.
"Why did it have to be Iris' room, you pervert".
"Calm down Darkness. Didn't you want to get this over quickly?". Chris managed to calm Darkness down and release me from her grip.
All three of us, dressed as thieves and wearing Vanir masks, started sneaking around the castle, carefully moving towards the room in which Iris was held palace had way more guards that before, but my senses also showed that they seemed to increase in quantity in the direction of the queen's room.
"There seems to be more guards towards the queen's room, so our path along the wall and towards the second tower should be less affected by the increase in security".
"Understood". Both of them spoke in unison.
I felt some steps approaching, so I made a sign for us to hide in the frame of a nearby door. Funnily enough, this worked amazingly well, even without bothering to cast spells each time.
"Ehhh? Who goes there?". What? Impossible? What could... No... Freaking... WAY!
"Freeze". The group of four soldiers froze in place.
"Damn it Shadow...". Darkness had chosen that goofy alias for herself. "Your massive breasts were sticking ot of the door frame".
"Hey!". Darkness yelled, forgetting completely our stealthy mission.
"We didn't have such a problem before, right Chief?". I reflexively looked at Chris.
"HEY!". Oups, sorry.
"There they are! Alert the entire palace!". Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
"Time to go".
"Freeze!"
"Ahhhhh"
"Water"
"Ahhhhhhhhh"
"Bind"
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
We were running at full speed towards the tower, all while launching every spell that came to mind, to disable all the soldiers that came from all over the place.
"We're here". We arrived at the base of the tower, but...
"Indeed you are...". It was Claire, right in front of the entrance with a number of soldiers. "So how about you give up and tells us why are you here? How did you get in? And who sent you here?". This is bad, even if I throw spells at them, the results will end up blocking the entrance.
"Kazuma...". Darkness, who was standing between Chris and I and slightly behind us, whispered. "I'll lure those covering the entrance while you rush into the tower, then I'll hold them for a while at the entrance while you get Iris, come back to me and we find a way to escape". Not a bad plan.
"Understood... Chief, assist Shadow as much as you can".
"Will do".
"What are you plotting there? Do you think you can escape while surrounded?"
"Ehhh". She was astonished to see a smirk on my face.
"Let's do it".
"LURE!".
Instantly, those at the entrance became fixated by Darkness... Buuuuut... It wasn't only them, it was everyone. And not only that, all their gazed filled with a palpable murderous intent. As they rushed towards Darkness, I quickly looked at Chris, as to confirm to her that we'll proceed as planned... Buuuuut... She was also filled with murderous intent. Oh dear...
As everyone, even Chriss, rushed to attack Darkness, I proceeded with the plan. While making it up the tower's stairs, everything started shaking.
"Baaaaam!"
"Boooooooooooooooom"
"What the hell are they doing to Darkness?... I have to make this quick".
As I broke through the door, I saw Iris... She was... She was braking the window with a chair.
"What are you doing?".
She looked at me, her eyes filled with a very recognizable murderous intent. Then she jumped out of the tower towards the area where Darkness was.
I rushed and jumped after her.
"I got you". I caught her midair and landed onto... Ruins? The entire section of the palace where we were standing was in complete ruins. The murderous intent had reached such level that the mages, currently out of mana and laying on the ground, had launched their most powerful spells. Meanwhile, Darkness was tanking the soldiers that were somehow still standing.
"Enough Shadow, dispel your luring skill".
"N-n-n-not yet."
"Bind". The remaining knights fell down, held by some ropes, but there were still trying to move, trying to reach Darkness in any way possible.
"I... Said... Now!". So she did, finally.
And so I stood there, over the partial ruins of the castle, while holding an unconscious Iris in my hands, and hundreds of warriors and mages laying around exhausted and damaged by the magical explosions. Deja vu?
"Time to leave".
I also grabbed Darkness and Chris, moved to an area away from anyone's sight and then teleported back to Axel.
"What now?"
There I was, in my room with those three girls laying unconscious on my bed.
"How will I be able to explain this... mmmmh... Mmmmmmmmhhhhh... Whatever, that will be a problem for future me".
Then a realization came to mind.
"Wait, the mission is successful, so I should be happy since Iris is safe now". Anyway, I should wake Chris up, so that she leaves before Iris wakes up or the two others come by.
"Hey, wakey wake-". What is this? He clothes were all over the place, so there was an opening at her belly and he new style of bandages over her head were coming off. What... The... Fuuuu... There were tattoos over her belly, demonic looking tattoos, and she had... She had... HORNS! I couldn't help it, so I touched the horns, just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating... They are REAL!.
"K-k-kazuma". I looked at the just awakened Chris. "Please ignore what you just saw". She was completely flustered.
"As if, what happened?"
"Sniff, sniff". Chris was arranging her clothes to hide those features. "From... Fff... From what I gathered, it is because on the large quantity of new believers I got".
"I don't understand". Isn't it good to have more believes in Eris? This makes no sense.
"Believers do have a certain limited influence on the goddess they pray to, like on their attitude or their appearance, sniff sniff".
"Really? Then... Ohhh... So your new believers projected onto you demonic features?".
"Yup". She nodded at the same time.
"Then, what did your other project onto you?"
"Sniff sniff sniff". She seemed to remember something bad. "Something like a pure maiden...". Wait stop, don't say anything more. "So... So...". Damn it, I think I made a mistake. "My boobs slowly became smaller...". I'm so sorry. "And smaller and smaller...". I really hope she can forgive me for bringing back such memories. "Sniff sniff". Damn it, now she's crying.
"I'm sorry". I was already on the ground, at her feet, begging her for forgiveness.
"D-d-don't worry Kazuma... It is after all my job as a goddess".
On the other hand...
"Then what about Aqua... What could they be projecting onto her?". Chris became tense and a little... Horrified?... At least it seemed to help her forget the previous memory.
"Well... You see... How to put it...". Did I land on another mine?. "Her followers... Her very fanatics followers... Are very lustful... So... Her physique... Her short skirt...".
"Pff-". I barely contained my laughter. "Please, there is no need to go further".
A moment of silence passed.
"Anyways, you probably need to get going".
"Yes, good idea... Well...". Chris gave me a glance. "at least the mission was successful". Then she smiled... And what a beautiful smile it was... So all I could do was nod once, then she left.
"Now what will be this maniac's punishment..."
Here... Some more here... Some final touches here... And... There you go, I think this should hold for a while... Now if I put it up... Yup, it is holding well and it looks perfect.
I heard two pairs of steps reaching the living room.
"Emmmh... Kazuma... what is going on?" Megumin stood motionless at the entrance of the living room. She was shocked. All while Aqua kept walking towards the sofa.
"What do you mean Megumin, after all these years and with all the things that have happened, I bet there is a good reason". Aqua seemed to have used her brain for once... Or... Was she so shocked that she's trying to cope with it?
"Mmmmgghhhhmmm". Look who just woke up. "Ehhh, K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-kazuma... ahhh... Ahhhhhh... Aaaaaahhhhhh... What... Why did you bind me to a gigantic cross?"
"After what happened, you need to repent".
"Ahhhhh... Ahhhhh... You... You demon..."
"You bet I am, and it is MY LORD for you".
"Kazuma...". Megumin hadn't moved yet. "Do I need to know?".
"Nope".
I could hear another set of steps approaching.
"Good morning". The gentle voice came from right behind Megumin, towards which she turned.
"IRIS?!"
"That's me". Iris smiled like the princess she was.
"Kazuma..."
"I said nope..."
There was a moment of silence and judgment.
Siiiiiiiiiigh... Seems that Megumin won't ask for details, jackpot! But what about Aqua?
"Hey Princes". Then she turned to look back at the fire. I think she's still too shocked to understand what is real and what isn't.
"Mmmm, Kazuma, may I ask about the current situation of Miss Lalatina?".
"Please, princess, do not pay attention to my-".
"Simple, she did something stupid, so I will force her to repent". I sensed hear breathing heavy again. "And if she won't, I parade her like this at an upcoming festival". Her breathing got much heavier.
"Ohhh... Okay, I wish you the best on your journey, Miss Lalatina". I guess that's a way to put it.
So there we were, trying to look normal and inviting to Iris. So, we kind of forgot...
"Please Iris, erase this from your memory... I forgot how... How we...". Megumin was almost crying on the floor, on top of the broken pieces of her chair, which didn't manage to hold her an her temporarily overfilled belly.
"What are you talking about Megumin. Here Iris, try this, it is delicious". Aqua was also overflowing her chair, but she still somehow managed to sit straight.
"Thank you Miss Aqua".
No one paid attention to the heavily breathing and drooling knight attached to a cross.
"So... Kazuma, how did I get here? The last thing I remember was going to sleep at the palace...".
Everyone's gaze turned towards me.
"Mmmmhhh". How can I explain it...