Thank you for all the comments and love on the last chapter!
I have covid now (who gets it the first time in year five?! wtf?!) but I'm chipping away at these edits, I promise, while also taking it easy to not aggravate the germs that have hijacked my body for the moment.
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Chapter 32
The lights flicked on several hours later. The air would take time to warm so Sain'ja went out alone for information and food if possible.
Amelia napped and he considered his options for regaining her favor. This time there could be no confusion and no demands. He had to do it right this time. Now he understood more. And now he understood that there would be things he wouldn't realize and might always feel foreign. Even if they were alien to him, they were important for Amelia.
Sain'ja returned with their hunt brothers and Mah'sic.
To their amusement, Amelia bolted from the bed and hugged the unblood tight. She proceeded to interrogate the young male about his health and hunt before anyone could share news of the lockdown.
While she was distracted, Sain'ja murmured. "Seven dead. Two from exposure."
That meant five were killed in a fight or executed. It wasn't as much as he feared.
"It has calmed?" he asked.
"Sei, but everyone is tense in the lines." Sain'ja motioned to his bowl of boiled meat.
"The distribution manager allowed us to retrieve your ration," Yeyinde said, passing a bowl to Raz'ha.
"Thank you." Raz'ha settled on the bed, motioning for Amelia to join them.
They added extra meat to Mah'sic's bowl to help him regain strength quickly.
The evening was jovial with much of the tension melting away as their bellies filled. They relived the hunts and discussed students. None were killed and only a few were injured which was a first in many full cycles.
"This is delicious," Amelia murmured as she shoved another chunk of meat in her mouth.
It wasn't really. The meat was bland and likely the parts about to spoil. Taurens meals in the cafeteria tasted better with full seasoning and the rapid freezing technology to preserve the meat without modifying the taste. His clan had long ago traded away that technology for ship parts. Now hunters slow froze the meat they could and cooled what they couldn't. If they hurried home, they could bring extra meat to be cooked on arrival before it spoiled.
Tomorrow the meat would still be bland, but it would taste better. He suspected her enthusiasm was more due to having protein and a generous portion.
Yeyinde trilled. "It is nice in my stomach."
Mar'cte said, "That's all that's nice about it."
"I've eaten garbage that tasted better," Guan-thewi said.
There were chuffs in reply. Guan-thewi never had stored meat before he joined the clan. Adjusting to the meals and metal ship had been difficult for him at first. It turned out that Guan-thewi was a wild, abandoned pup who lived his former life alone on a preserve with little technology. He'd made a primitive home and only ate fresh or jerked meats. Upon arrival, they thought the clan had saved the clanless yautja, but looking at him now, Raz'ha thought the warrior had been better off on that planet.
And yet Guan-thewi refused to be clanless.
Death was better in his hunt brother's mind. Because it was lonely. Nothing else earned Guan-thewi's favor. He hated the metal ship with recycled air and water. He hated the harsh chemicals to sanitize everything, the challenges for resources, the ceremonies, and even the appeal of breeding females was short lived. At the time Guan-thewi said he gained nothing from breeding females, though he'd done it enthusiastically the first two cycles as a warrior.
Raz'ha hadn't understood what the warrior meant at the time. His eyes drifted to Amelia and he understood. Breeding yautja females was often impersonal and short. There were no feelings and no suckling for males to bond with. What did males gain from breeding females? They were just adding numbers to the clan and nothing more. Once that had been enough of a reason.
Males didn't often speak to their offspring until they were an accomplished warrior and then it was in passing. Raz'ha had little interest in socializing with younger males, and those males would expect training not socializing. It seemed strange and foreign to consider talking to them at length.
The females must. His mother had spoken to him often and told him stories as a pup. Other females would hold him and rock him when he was ill. As he grew, that all decreased as his size increased. He was acclimated into following male instructions and then eventually moved to unblood quarters. Other unbloods showed him around the ship he'd never seen in full and told him what males to watch for.
When he saw his mother in the hall, she didn't acknowledge him. He had trilled once and she continued as if he wasn't there. It hadn't hurt exactly. He realized what they were always told then when they said that soon he'd join the males. That meant leaving all the females and the nursery behind. Not even Mek'ja had favored Yeyinde, he simply showed more interest in all his students and mentored each individual. Raz'ha was considered his most prominent student, but they never shared evening meals the way he did with his hunt brothers.
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The next day Amelia resumed her regular appointment with Elder Durnst. Everything resumed. And yet, everything felt different.
"There's food but it feels as if everyone is still tense," Amelia said. "I don't understand."
"Shifts are longer and new restrictions are in place." Elder Durnst clicked. "We travel to a kiande amedha planet through dangerous territory and it's important to avoid conflicts so we have been ordered to begin 40% longer shifts. Keeping the ship functioning and moving fast enough requires more labor and resources."
Amelia sighed. "Does it ever feel like you can't get ahead here?"
Durnst trilled.
"Are they still pushing to replace the high priestess?"
"Unofficially." He clicked that she was on the right path.
"And all these restrictions aren't the response to the potential uncertainty?" She arched a brow behind her mask.
"There is no credible evidence." He clicked that she was on the correct path once more. Unofficial confirmation.
"What's the correct path to take now that the shortage is over?" The question plagued her in every waking moment that competed even with her disturbing uncertainty about how to stop caring about Raz'ha.
"The path with less danger," he said and it was very unlike yautja to take that approach.
"The lesser of two evils," she said.
"An ooman saying?" He tilted his head.
"Sei, but we have another." she glanced at his desk. "Better the devil you know than the one you don't."
He rumbled giving it thought. "I think I can only delay, but soon there will need to be a side."
"No one even admits there are sides yet." She chuffed. "There needs to be a real solution, a permanent one. There must be someone who isn't corrupt here."
"If there is, would they not be corrupted by the effort to take power?" he countered.
"And we're talking in circles again." She leaned back feeling exhausted though she'd eaten better than she had in weeks.
"Sei," he said also leaning back and letting out a heavy breath.
"What can I do?" she asked. "Seriously."
"Give Del'is favor when she asks. The males will accept if you do and the transition can be peaceful enough followed by a period of improvement."
"You hope," she said.
"It is usually the pattern. Perhaps we can install protections and transparency quickly as she presents an image of reforming broken leadership."
"The problem is if I do that, they might believe me," she said, "but more likely they will know it's a lie. They will realize there is no hope that things won't get better in a real way."
The elder gave her words consideration and seemed to size her up for the first time in weeks. "Live to fight another day," he said. "That is ooman, yes?"
"Yes," she said, wondering how many human phrases made it throughout the universe. There was a lengthy silence. "I will think about it."
"This is what it is to be elder. You advocate for them. You're responsible for them even when there is no good solution. Something must be done."
It struck her that sometimes nothing was the right answer. Maybe they let it play out and wait for a better opportunity and ignore both sides. "It's a complicated position," she said.
After they parted, the thought of doing nothing still lingered.
#
It was time for Mah'sic to leave and she felt that overwhelming dread as tears filled her eyes. When Val'jek left she'd begged. She couldn't do that to Mah'sic.
"Stay safe, Mah'sic," she said around the lump in her throat.
He nodded.
"You're trained and you're smart like your father. You can do this." It was more for her benefit than his.
He nodded again, saying nothing.
"Are you afraid?" she whispered.
"I know what happens now," he said. "I am not afraid."
"Don't forget what I said about these." She touched the dog tags he hooked around his neck trinket.
Another nod. "I understand your tradition."
His subdued manner discouraged her. "You will come back," she said. "I'm rooting for you and wherever Val'jek is, he wants you to come home safe."
He tapped his fist to his chest plate. "I will bring honor to my name and my clan," then in her language he added the nontraditional, "and my family."
"The good thing about family is they love you no matter what so don't show off. Meet your objective and come back. They have you at a disadvantage. So nothing fancy and no extras. Just come back. Okay?"
"I swear to do my best to follow your directive, Amelia," he said.
"It's time," Raz'ha rumbled from the doorway.
"Goodluck," she said and hugged him tight.
The unblood hugged for a fraction too tight and gave a soft rumble in parting.
Raz'ha walked him out as he gave quiet reminders about hunting. Amelia waited with her hounds as Raz'ha escorted Mah'sic to the shuttle bay. There was a formal send off from Elders and Priestesses that Amelia wasn't allowed to attend as a human. She'd asked Raz'ha not to fight for a place for her. She'd said what she needed to in private.
"He'll be okay, don't worry," she murmured to her pets.
#
After seeing off the unbloods for their chiva, Raz'ha collected Mah'sic's things from his shared quarters. If the unblood didn't return, he was to return them to Taurens. Under Amelia's watchful but silent gaze he stored them securely in his storage locker.
Like she refused to discuss Val'jek's extended absence, she shied from discussion of the chiva. That was simpler to accommodate because there was nothing to do for the unbloods now. The four would pass and return or fail and die.
She focused her attention on other things like regaining her muscle strength and reminding his hunt brothers to discourage angering the females. For all the satisfaction with meat, there was little else to eat and heavy restrictions and long shifts continued.
To conserve power, even bathing was restricted to certain hours and the bathing pools remained crowded. So far he had no problem getting males to vacate the watered down pool for amelia. She was uncomfortable with so many watching her bathe and thankfully hurried, allowing several warriors to use the pool after her.
The dryers were shut off and most males air dried, but Amelia used an extra dress to dry off and exit the crowd quickly.
Time passed this way in a tense limbo as they waited for the unbloods to return. He and Amelia watched each other carefully, but said little of their uncertainty.
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Author's Notes: If you're reading this on ff net, thanks for the comments! The few of you sending them are very appreciated but there isn't really a good reply function there. I'll reply with pm if you're logged in, otherwise pls accept this blanket thanks! Also, you could read this work on ao3.
The story is about to get moving with some drama now, I hope you're all ready and enjoy!
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