A/N: Set after Ep 2.20 What is and What Should Never Be. Another in my Found Family series (the stories are listed on my profile page if you want to read them in order). I own nothing but my OCs, just playing in the Supernatural sandbox.

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Sam hung up the phone and paused, watching his brother unobtrusively through his long bangs. Dean was trying to appear nonchalant, sitting casually on the end of the bed flipping through a magazine, but Sam knew better. He could read his brother better than anyone, and he could tell Dean was vibrating with just barely contained tension and emotion. If he was honest with himself, Sam wasn't doing much better. He blew out a breath, trying not to allow his emotions to overwhelm him as his mind flashed to finding Dean trussed up in that warehouse, looking more dead than alive, and the fear that he had really lost him this time. Staring across the room he was reassured by his brother's solid presence that Dean was okay - at least physically. Now he just needed to worry about his mental state, and that meant talking. So after filling him in on the good news from the hospital that the girl they rescued was going to make it, he sat down on the bed across from Dean and started simply, "You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm all right." Sam looked skeptical, and Dean himself didn't think he sounded very convincing, so he added "You should have seen it, Sam. Our lives. You were such a wussy."

That got a chuckle from Sam, and true to form he immediately picked up on what Dean wasn't saying. "So we didn't get along then, huh?"

"Nah."

"Yeah…" Sam wrinkled his forehead, perplexed. "I thought it was supposed to…to be this perfect fantasy…"

"It wasn't." Dean interrupted firmly, "It was just a wish. I wished for Mom to live. That Mom never died, we never went hunting and you and me just never uh... you know."

"Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do." Their eyes met for a moment, giving weight and deeper meaning to Sam's simple statement. Then he continued, "And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. Most people wouldn't've had the strength, would have just stayed."

Dean nodded, hearing the relief in Sam's voice, but even still couldn't keep the sarcasm from his own voice. "Yeah... Lucky me." He rose, restless, and wandered a bit, finally settling back against the dresser. "I gotta tell you though, man. You know, you had Jess. Mom was gonna have grandkids..."

"Yeah, but... Dean... it wasn't real."

"I know. But I wanted to stay." He trailed off, the wistfulness evident in his voice. "I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad... all I c– all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. … We've lost so much. We've... sacrificed so much."

Sam took in the sad, almost lost look on his usually cocky, confident brother and his heart ached for him. He wanted Dean to be glad he chose to come back. "But people are alive because of you." He heard Dean's scoff and pressed, "It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair, and... you know, it hurts like hell, but... it's worth it." Dean didn't look convinced, and Sam resolved that he would do whatever was necessary to show him in the days ahead that he had made the right choice.

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"Hey Dean, I've been thinking…" Sam started, interrupting his brother's apparent fascination with the nondescript wallpaper he had been staring at blindly. He'd caught Dean doing that a lot in the last couple days since he'd been rescued from the djinn, and knew - even though he would never admit it - that Dean was struggling to reconcile the fantasy world and their real one.

Shaking himself from his latest brown study, Dean tried to act normal. "That's never good." he snarked back, but the timing was off, and they both knew it. He was grateful when Sam gave him a speaking glance but didn't say anything and just kept going.

"I was thinking it might be a good time to swing by and check in on Travis and Izzy."

Opening his mouth to deny any need to visit the McCormicks - he could see right through Sam and what he was trying to do - Dean paused and thought. He knew Sam was worried about his mental state…hell, he was worried about his mental state. That alternate world had really thrown him for a loop. Travis and Izzy over the past year had become somewhat surrogate parents to him and Sam, so maybe some time at their farm would settle this ache he couldn't seem to quench with food or alcohol, nor shove down and ignore like usual.

"Dean?" Sam said when the silence had dragged on and it seemed like he'd checked out again.

"Yeah, let's visit." Dean replied. Rolling up from the bed he'd been sprawled on he started to gather his things. Sam looked a little surprised at the sudden movement, and then he joined his brother in packing up.

"We'll be rolling in pretty late if we leave now." he commented offhandedly, "Do we call ahead?"

Dean thought for a moment. "Nah, it's always fun to surprise them."

"Ok." Sam hoped this visit would help Dean to see that they weren't alone…they had other "family" and good things in this life - it wasn't all comprised of loss.

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Thanks to a flat tire, it was coming up close to midnight when the boys finally reached the turnoff for the McCormick farm. As they pulled in they found there was an unknown vehicle parked in the driveway and exchanged looks, suddenly not quite as confident about surprising the family, especially at such a late hour. "We could crash in the barn for the night…" Sam started to suggest, when the porch light came on and the front door opened, the silhouette of a man showing in the doorway.

"See, Travis is still up." Dean said, smacking him on the arm and exiting the car. Sam followed slower, wishing they had checked before dropping by unannounced, but it was too late now.

"I thought I heard the purr of the Impala! What a lovely surprise!" exclaimed Travis as he strode down the steps to meet the brothers, drawing each of them into a hug. "Izzy is going to be beside herself when she sees you. She's gone to bed already, but it'll be an awesome surprise in the morning!"

"Sorry to just drop in like this," apologized Sam, "It looks like you maybe already have company?"

"You know you boys are welcome anytime Sam," Travis rebuked gently, "and it's just Jake and his family, so the more the merrier! Your room is being used, though, as is the guest room, so we'll have to make up the couch. I've got an army cot we can pull out too."

"Travis, we can just sleep in the car or the barn, we're used to crashing wherever." Dean replied, not wanting to put him out.

"Nonsense! Just, fair warning…you'll be waking up when the house does." he smiled. "Grab your bags boys, and let's get out of the cold!" Obediently they grabbed their duffels and followed Travis inside. Most of the house lights were off, as the majority of the occupants of the house were clearly settled for the night, but a lamp glowed warmly in the family room and Travis quickly flipped on a light in the hallway.

"Sam, in the hall closet there's some bedding and blankets on the top shelves. Grab some for you and your brother please. Dean, the army cot is in the closet under the stairs. Careful, or you'll hit your head like I do all the time." Both nodded, and before long they had beds made up. "All right boys, if you've got what you need, I'd better head to bed." Travis paused in the doorway and smiled, "Sure glad to have you both here. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," they chorused, and then turned to one another, immediately bringing fists up for Rock-Paper-Scissors to determine who would get the couch, which was longer than the cot.

"Always with the scissors, Dean." crowed Sam, plopping down on the couch triumphantly. Dean grimaced as expected, inwardly smiling since he'd already planned to let his brother have the couch. Stretching out gingerly on the cot, he found it actually wasn't horrible, and soon both were fast asleep.