Ram POV

'Stupid Barusu and his stupid language!'

Ram had been wrestling with Barusu's journal for the better part of an hour. She remembered Barusu teaching her about his language in the past, and she was lamenting not paying more attention back then.

Ram rubbed her temples as she sat back slightly. The mixture of a difficult puzzle and high stakes was creating lots of stress; but giving up wasn't an option.

'I need to figure this out so that good for nothing won't make Sister cry anymore!'

Reaffirming her resolve, she continued to toil away with the journal. But, after an afternoon of attempts she had very few results to show for it, and most of the results were limited to things she remembered Barusu teaching her.

Going into this, Ram was fairly confident she could translate the journal by herself. But it was quickly dawning on her how daunting of a task translating an unknown language is without any help. Swallowing her pride, she got up and began to find the one person that might be able to help her.

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Subaru POV

The night felt like it would never end, when he would try to fall asleep, he would be plagued by dreams of his previous deaths. And when he would force himself awake, stress from the previous day and the mettling of the maid twins would assault him instead.

Eventually Subaru managed to find his way into a restless sleep.

Not long after falling asleep though, Subaru was woken up by a knocking at his door, and a shy voice reaching out to him.

"Subaru-kun…"

His still groggy mind was filled with adrenaline.

'Shit! Is she finally here to kill me?'

Subaru's surface level thoughts screamed at him.

'No no! Pull yourself together! If she wanted to hurt me she would have done it earlier… right?'

Her voice quivered slightly as she continued.

"Can I talk to you?"

She took another breath as if preparing to continue, but stopped herself.

Subaru's mind was racing, but he couldn't help but think that if she wanted to hurt him, she would have broken down the door. She is more than capable of it after all.

"Y-Yeah! Come on in Rem-rin!"

Subaru quickly threw on his tracksuit before opening the door. He then stepped back and sat at his desk.

"U-umm… Subaru-kun, are you okay?"

The question briefly shocked Subaru, out of all the things he had expected, this wasn't one of them.

"Huh-? Oh, Yeah Rem-rin, I'm doing just fine! Never been better!"

"You don't have to lie to me Subaru-kun… I know something is wrong."

Her voice sounded determined as she ended her sentence.

"If-if someone is hurting you, I won't stop until they are dealt with! So please, talk to me!"

Subaru was filled with a warmth that had almost become foreign to him.

'She… does she… want to help me? No! Don't get conceited! She is only pretending to care for me, just like Ram!'

The night in the forest shone brightly in his mind, the pain fresh like it was just happening.

Subaru recoiled back while recalling it, falling out of his chair. He nervously looked up at Rem, hoping she wouldn't find his reaction suspicious enough to take action.

'Why? Why does she look sad?'

Seeing him fall, Rem stepped back.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I knew I shouldn't have come here! I'm sorry!"

With every word she took another step back, small tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

"I know I am only burdening you by doing this… I just wanted… please forgive me!"

With one last apology, she turned and briskly walked out of the room, leaving a still stunned Subaru alone again.

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Rem POV

She had made a massive mistake. Rem just wanted to try to comfort Subaru-kun, but she had done the exact opposite. Once again she had messed up, just like she had on the night Nee-sama lost her horn.

She thought she could stay with him, protect him. She believed, more so hoped, that the fear she saw wasn't directed at her… and now that hope was decimated.

'I just wanted to laugh and talk about the future… was I just being selfish again?'

She felt the same sense of shame fill her that she did when thinking about that fiery night; thinking about how happy she was that Nee-sama's horn was gone.

Rem finally reached her room, as soon as she entered she collapsed. The tears she had been holding back finally overtook her, leaving her a sobbing mess.

'They would all be happier… if only it wasn't me but someone else!'

Even as she berated herself, a part of her was enraged. With herself, with the world, and with her audacity to claim that those powerful words he said to her were wrong. She wouldn't realize it tonight, for she was too overcome with emotion, but despite her sadness that flame he had lit in her was still burning; and it wouldn't go out so easily.

Eventually, after crying until the tears ran dry, Rem managed to find some peace in sleep.

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Ram POV

'How much more time do I need to spend on this!'

Ram had been opening doors for the past 30 minutes or so, and she was starting to get fed up. She was searching for Beatrice-sama, the great spirit of the forbidden library; if anyone knew how to translate Barusu's infuriating language it would be her.

She opens another door, to no avail.

"Miss Beatrice, I believe you can hear me. Please open the door, I have urgent need of your assistance."

Ram gave a slight bow as she made a desperate attempt to contact the great spirit. And to her surprise, the next door she opened led into the vast library.

"Why are you bothering Betty, maid?"

"Thank you for allowing me entrance into the great library Miss Beatrice."

Miss Beatrice waved her arms around in frustration.

"Gah! Get to the point, I suppose!"

'Strange. I never knew Miss Beatrice to be so temperamental with me?'

Usually their encounters would be short and polite, with Miss Beatrice rarely responding directly with more than a few words.

"My apologies Miss Beatrice. You see, Barusu has been causing trouble for me and my Sister. I believe his reasons lie in this book, but it is written in a strange language."

Ram pulls out the journal and shows it to Miss Beatrice. Miss Beatrice's eyes widen slightly, and she rubs her wrist while muttering to herself.

"Blood…"

Miss Beatrice quickly recollected herself and took her signature arms crossed pose.

"Why should I help you with this? It isn't causing me any grief, in fact. Hmph!"

"I believe Barusu has been harming himself, it could lead to a serious accident if he can control himself."

Ram answered curtly, but internally that same sickly feeling that came up whenever she thought about the scars was clear. Beatrice, however, looked unperturbed.

"Betty is already well aware of his perverse habits, in fact. That doesn't explain why you expect me to help you, I suppose."

Ram's eyes widened as she heard Miss Beatrice speak.

"You already knew of his… condition, Miss Beatrice?"

"Of course I did! I can feel his emotions through my gate every night, I suppose."

Ram was shocked to hear this from Miss Beatrice. She always knew the great spirit was cold, but Ram thought she would at least inform someone if something this serious was happening.

Ram calmed herself before speaking again, she didn't want to say anything upsetting to the great spirit, and be kicked out of the library.

'No matter what, I need her assistance on this.'

"Miss Beatrice, you say you can feel his emotions. I assume they are rather unpleasant, as one would expect from being connected to Barusu. Wouldn't you like to be rid of them? If we can figure out what the reason for his habits are, then we may be able to prevent these emotions."

Miss Beatrice took a moment to think the proposal over.

"You make a good point, maid. Fine, show Betty the book."

Ram smiled slightly and quickly moved to hand the journal over to Miss Beatrice. When she opened the book, the great spirit raised her eyebrows and let out a "hmmm".

"Barusu tried teaching me about his language before, but he was such an incompetent teacher that I don't recall much. I'll tell you everything that I remember, Miss Beatrice."

Despite being tired, Ram ended up staying in the forbidden library for a couple hours, trying to help Miss Beatrice. When it seemed like Ram had no more help to offer for the night, she said goodbye, went back to her room, and went to sleep.

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Subaru POV

'Why? Why did she look like that?'

Subaru once again recalled the pained expression on Rem's face. It was morning now, and he hadn't gotten any sleep. A fierce war was being waged in his mind between his instincts and his rationale.

'Was she sad because of me? For me?'

There was no way that could be true.

'She's just pretending, like last time! Trying to get me to lower my guard or something.'

But why would she need him to lower his guard? He had experienced firsthand the difference in power between them.

'GAH! I'm not getting anywhere like this!'

Getting frustrated with the lack of progress, Subaru stood up and headed for the door.

'I'll try to figure it out during work…'

Despite his initial plans, his work around the mansion ended up taking most of his attention leaving him very little time to focus on the maid twins. By the end of the day, Subaru ended up back in his room, having made very little progress on the issue.

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Emilia POV

It had been another long day without many breaks. Emilia was taking one of a few small rests she allowed herself and her thoughts began to drift to a certain black haired boy's interactions with the maid twins.

'I asked puck about it, but I still really don't get it.'

"That's all you were worried about Lia? Well, you're not wrong about there being something going on. It seems like Subaru's head is all confused about the two of them. The sisters also seemed to be sad and concerned. I don't think it's something you need to worry about though, Lia."

Even though puck tried to assuage her worries, she couldn't help but think about the tense atmosphere she remembered at dinner. She really wanted everyone to get along, and seeing how sad everyone seemed, she decided to try and help.

'I'll just have to go ask Subaru about it myself!'

Deciding on her course of actions, she swiftly stood up and headed for Subaru's room. She arrived at the door, and after knocking a couple times she was greeted by his normal cheery self.

"A night raid!? Wow Meili, when did you get so assertive!?"

Making a dumb pose he waited for Emilia to respond.

"A raid? I'm not here for anything so violent so calm down Subaru."

Emilia giggled slightly as she responded.

'Subaru always acts so silly, what could have happened between the maids and him?'

"Actually, I'm here to talk about something important."

Hearing this, Subaru let her enter the room, and sat down.

"Are you finally going to confess your undying love for me! I'll admit it's not the most romantic location being my bedroom and… Wait, that would totally make it a night raid!"

Subaru recoiled in exaggerated surprise.

"You're always so silly Subaru. I wanted to ask about the kerfuffle with you and the maids."

Subaru turned around towards his desk, facing away from Emilia. It seemed like he was working on his writing when she came by.

"N-nobody says 'Kerfuffle' anymore Meili."

Subaru's voice had lost a lot of the energy he had shown just moments prior. The disconnect made Emilia uneasy, but she continued on.

"Well Puck said the twins were reeaaally worried about you, and that you were all mixed up about them. Did something happen?"

Subaru took a while to respond.

"Nothing really happened between us, so don't worry Emilia-tan. I'll make up with them."

Emilia was stunned with how fast his tone had switched.

"I'm glad, I reeaaally want everyone here to get along. As long as you properly make amends, I'm sure you can go back to being friends with them!"

Emilia stood up and clasped her hands together. Even as she did this, Subaru just stared down at his desk.

"I'm sure you can be good friends again, Subaru's a good boy after all."

Deciding that she had done enough, and that Subaru probably needed some time alone, left the room.

.

Subaru POV

Subaru was doing his best to fight back the tears. Emilia had just left, but he still didn't want to cry.

'They.. They are really worried about me? It wasn't just a delusion?'

This thought single handedly threatened to open the floodgates on his emotions, but an opposing force came in to shut them again.

'Can I really believe that? It's too convenient… but Puck has no reason to lie right?'

Instead of wallowing in confusion, Subaru stood up and decided to take action.

'I-I'll get a second opinion, I only know one other spirit in the mansion… They are both spirits so Beako should be able to do the mind reading thing too right?'

With a slow exhale, Subaru readied himself to exit the room. Although the last thing he was expecting was to enter the Forbidden Library directly from his bedroom.

"You are finally here, in fact."

A small girl greeted him with cold words, not even looking up from her book.

"I have a general sense of why you are here, so sit wherever you like, I suppose."

She let out a sigh as she gestured him to stay.

"Actually, I had a question for you, Beako."

She raised her eyebrows at the seemingly unexpected response.

"A question? Well I suppose I can listen to it."

"You are a spirit, just like Puck right?"

"You are correct, me and Bubby are the same, in fact."

"So you can also read people's emotions?"

Beatrice took a moment and stared at Subaru.

"I have a general sense for the emotions of people within the mansion, as per my contract, I suppose."

Subaru took a deep breath before asking his question. His nerves were getting to him.

"Could you tell me… Do Rem and Ram… Do they actually care about me?"

Even as he was saying those words, disbelief was evident in his voice. It was as if he was shocked at the audacity of his own question. But his mind froze up when Beatrice started to answer.

A part of him wanted to have Beatrice tell him that he was right all along. That the twins detested him, that all the tears and scars were appropriate. That his paranoia wasn't unfounded, and the pain he caused them was fake.

"You truly are just that dense then, I suppose."

Beatrice looked at him with a slightly dumbfounded look on her face.

"If you need an answer, I have been able to sense their concern for you, in fact."

Confirmation. Was he really that blind to the emotions of others? Had he really been so disconnected from reality the whole time? He could once again feel tears welling up in his eyes.

"That reminds me, the pink haired maid asked me to help her translate something for her, I suppose. Something to help you, in fact."

Hearing this, Subaru was quickly snapped out of his thoughts. His voice turned deadly serious.

"Beako, did you agree to help her?"

"Betty wanted her to leave, so I handed her a translation key I found lying around, I suppose. I believe it was called the ancient language of Hoshin. How did you come to kno-"

Beatrice was quickly cut off before she could finish speaking, as Subaru had sprinted out of the room.

'No, NO! I need to get there in time!'

It was already getting dark, and the halls weren't very well lit. But Subaru pressed forwards, desperately trying to reach Ram before she read anything.

'What would happen if she read about Return By Death? I can't risk it!'

As he finally reached the door of the pink haired girl, he took a deep breath before knocking.

"..."

His knocking grew more frantic.

"Ram, it's me Subaru! Please open the door; I need to talk to you!"

He began to pound on the door.

'I don't care if I wake the whole mansion up!'

"..."

"Sorry Ram, I'm coming in!"

He would deal with Ram's barbs about perversion, or about how invading her privacy was "just like him".

He opened the door in a panic. There was a small candle burning on the desk, and Ram was leaning over an open journal. He instantly recognized it as his own journal, and his blood ran cold.

"Hey Ram, if you were in here why didn't you answer the door!"

He exclaimed in faux anger as he walked over towards her. His heart was pounding, how would she react to Return by Death, would she see him as a threat? Or maybe she would see him as a valuable asset to roswaal.

He reached out and gently tapped her shoulder.

'Drip'

He turned towards the source of the noise. A small puddle of red liquid had formed on the journal.

'What?'

Frantically, Subaru shook Ram's shoulder. She slumped back in the chair, blood dripping from a corner of her mouth.

"Ram!? Ram what's wrong!?"

Ram didn't respond.

Ram was dead.

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Author's Note

Writer's block, writer's block, write me a block.

So yeah, its already been a month since the last chapter, maybe more? I never really understood why it took so long for authors to release chapters... God damn I get it now. I can't understand how they can get out 10k+ word chapters once a month, they are machines.

Thank you for reading this chapter.

Any writing suggestions are very appreciated.