A/N: Please read this note, would you kindly? It explains where I've been; moreover, it would mean the world to me and my team. Sorry for the huge block of text. Won't happen again.
I! AM! RETURNED!
Dark wrote this chapter, I only just got back from the Hospital.
Every review really does help, large or small...any feedback is better than nothing at all.
First, I'm alive, back from the Hospital, so there's that. Very scary experience. To make a long story short, yes, it was infection, go knocked clean out as a result and basically had my own little Isekai experience for a bit in what I could only assume was a fever dream while the doctors fixed me up. It was quite the trip~! I'd delve into details, but I'm not sure anyone would believe me~! Felt like I spent an eternity there; yet I remember it so vividly...how odd...
I almost didn't want to wake up...
Eventually, I came back around and awoke to find myself in a hospital bed and was promptly informed by my Nurse that, atop everything else, I had been exhausted and dehydrated, while what I assumed was merely a cold-and subsequently ignored-was a raging sinus infection that I SHOULD NOT have ignored since it played havoc with my body and made things so much worse coupled with the wound on my hand.
And then me, being a dingus having only just awoken from a rather wonderful dream, promptly stuck my foot in my mouth and asked:
"Sooo...I can go back to work now, right?"
She didn't like that.
Not one bit.
I got a proper chewing out for being so focused on my grindset...heh. Didn't realize a Latina could get that angry. Got her number by the end of my stay ~victory~ so all's well that ends well. Now I'm home recovering and have been told to come right back if I so much as sneeze.
Second, update schedule is a little scuffed this week as a result -there was nothing on Sunday or Monday as a result of my collapse, and while I have plans for the other days, the update for today, (Tuesday) was nowhere near my usual level of quality, so we had to move it back a week.
Vanguard will still be updated this Thursday, but we might give Elden Ring a break this week in favor of Kill the Boy or Running to the Edge. RWBY on Saturday as usual, with a GOT/HOTD come this Sunday.
Third, we lost a co-writer for this story, found another in the form of Dark, so we're back. That's the reason some of these stories are delayed; working with co-writers means working on their time, not mine. I'd happily update every day if I could, but that's not always feasible. If it weren't for Dark helping me, I wouldn't be able to write at all; he helped immeasurably with this.
So here we go. The fate of this story depends on you, the reader. Your feedback determines the fate of this tale, and many others. I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild world, one word at a time. Time and feedback will determine if this remains a story. Simple as that.
Hope you Enjoy~!
"Take your light and stuff it where the sun don't shine.
I'm gonna do this my way.
Now where was I...?"
~The Orc Lord
A Fine Feast
"Alright, kiddo..."
Naruto crouched low, wind teasing his unruly blond hair as his piercing blue eyes scanned the craggy wastelands of Nurn. Orc patrols moved with a sluggish, brutal efficiency, while roaming beasts prowled the barren land like hungry vultures. The smell of blood, steel, and desperation hung thick in the air.
Bruz and Kruk would've liked it here; felt right at home, really. Shame he had to leave them other business.
After all, someone had to keep an eye on Eltariel and they'd drawn the short straws.
Was always the broken ones you had to watch out for.
"Focus."
'Yeah, yeah...
"Stay close." His voice was barely a whisper, but there was a warning in it. "We're just doing recon. No poking, prodding, or pouncing on anything weird this time."
"As if I would."
Perched comfortably atop his shoulder, Little Shelob folded her tiny arms across her chest. Her legs dangled lazily like a spider preparing to drop on unsuspecting prey. Mischief gleamed in her black, bottomless eyes—eyes that had witnessed the rise and fall of empires.
"I only poke when something's worth poking," she said sweetly, her lips curling into a smirk that practically screamed trouble incoming.
"That's what worries me." Naruto's jaw clenched as he shot her a sideways glance, brow twitching. "Last time you poked that 'innocent-looking' egg, I ended up in a three-hour chase with a drake that thought I was part of the damn menu!"
"In my defense…" Little Shelob leaned in, her grin widening, "you did look delicious. All that chakra swirling around you?" she licked her lips. "Like a juicy snack wrapped in an all-you-can-eat buffet."
"Hilarious." he deadpanned, expression flatter than a pancake. "Absolutely hilarious. You're a regular jester."
"Better than being dinner," she teased, wiggling her tiny fingers like spider legs ready to strike.
A gust of wind howled through the canyon, carrying the scent of rotting flesh and burnt metal. Dirt and sand kicked up, swirling like ghosts whispering forgotten warnings.
Naruto's gaze narrowed. They were nearing a ruined outpost—jagged spires of black stone jutting from the ground like the broken teeth of a colossal beast. Shadows flickered along the walls, where trolls, orcs, and unfortunate souls who had crossed the wrong Uruk patrols now adorned the twisted architecture.
"Hmm…" Little Shelob tilted her head, her delicate senses prickling as her body stiffened. Her sharp, predatory gaze darted around. "…we're not alone."
"Yeah," Naruto muttered, his tone shifting from playful to deadly serious. His steps slowed, and chakra pooled subtly around his body, dancing along his skin like a crackling ember. "Lots of eyes."
He didn't need to see them to feel them. Predatory gazes, heavier than the weight of the wind, watching—waiting. And they weren't the friendly kind.
"Eyes with too much patience." his lips barely moved as he spoke. "That means one thing…"
"Ambush?"
"Most likely."
Little Shelob's grin faded, replaced by sharp focus. Her tiny hand gripped the fabric of Naruto's collar, her instincts honed through eons of survival. "I count… twenty-seven. No… thirty-four." Her voice was like silk wrapped around a dagger. "Most of them are Uruks. But…"
Her eyes narrowed. "Something bigger's with them. Something old."
Naruto's jaw tightened. "Bigger? How much bigger?"
A sudden rumble echoed through the canyon, sending pebbles tumbling down the rocky cliffs.
"THAT big."
CRACK!
A boulder exploded in a shower of debris as a towering beast emerged from the shadows, its monstrous silhouette blotting out what little light pierced the canyon. Thick, mottled skin that looked like hardened stone stretched over bulging muscles. Rows of jagged teeth lined a maw large enough to swallow a man whole.
"Olog-hai." his voice turned grim as the creature's yellow eyes locked onto him with murderous intent.
"Aw, great. THAT'S what you meant by bigger?" Little Shelob's grin returned, but her fingers twitched in anticipation. "I was hoping for something cute and fluffy…"
Naruto's fingers flexed, the familiar burn of chakra surging through his veins. His eyes gleamed with steel-like resolve.
"Stay back, Shelob," he murmured, shifting into a stance that promised hell.
"Stay back?" she echoed, her grin practically splitting her face. "*As if."
"HRAAAAAAARGH!"
The Olog roared, its thunderous bellow shaking the very earth. More shadows poured from the cliffs—Uruks, orcs, and beasts hungry for violence.
Naruto's smirk was as sharp as a kunai. "Looks like the buffet's open after all…"
Little Shelob licked her lips, her eyes glittering like black diamonds. "I do love an all-you-can-eat spread."
"KAI!"
With a burst of chakra, Naruto shot forward like a hurricane, wind swirling violently in his wake. Shelob leapt from his shoulder, her tiny form dissolving into mist-like shadows as she danced around the battlefield.
"Alright, big guy." Naruto's voice echoed with quiet menace as he ducked under a swinging club, his eyes gleaming with predatory focus. "You like picking fights?"
A familiar, cocky grin spread across his face as chakra coiled around his fist.
"Let's see if you can handle a main course!"
CLANG!
The air split with the screech of steel meeting steel. Dust spiraled upward as the battlefield erupted, a chaotic symphony of war that echoed through the craggy wastelands of Nurn.
"Naruto!" Little Shelob's playful voice echoed inside his mind, her tone dripping with mischief even in the heart of battle. "Try not to get eaten this time!"
"No promises, runt!"
She hissed angrily at that and eviscerated a nearby Orc who'd gotten too close. "I am not small! I didn't choose to be this size!
Naruto's grin widened as he laughed, his body spinning like a whirlwind as he twisted mid-air, narrowly dodging a serrated axe aimed at his head. He landed, fists crackling with chakra, and unleashed a devastating roundhouse that sent a nearby Uruk flying—his body pinwheeling like a ragdoll into a pile of his unfortunate comrades.
"What did I just say?" Naruto's smirk gleamed as he wiped the dust off his face. "Main course, coming up!"
(...High above, on the ridge...)
A lone Uruk captain stood with arrogant confidence, his jagged sword resting lazily against his broad shoulder. His armor was adorned with crude spikes and trophies—severed fingers, broken blades, and trinkets from countless victims.
"So that's the so-called 'Golden Lord,' huh?" His lips curled into a sneer as he gazed down at the swirling chaos below. "Doesn't look so tough. Just another pinkskin with flashy tricks."
Beside him, a massive Warg snarled, pacing restlessly, its yellow eyes gleaming with hunger. It licked its teeth, drool dripping onto the cracked earth.
"Oi, boss!" One of his lackeys, a smaller Uruk with too many scars and not enough brains, grunted impatiently. "What's the plan?"
The captain's grin widened, his eyes narrowing like a predator smelling blood. "Simple." His voice dripped with malice. "We gut the brat, bring the spider-girl to Sauron as a trophy… and carve out a name for ourselves."
He raised his hand, fingers curling like claws.
"Ready the trap—"
"BOOM!"
The entire ridge exploded.
A deafening blast shook the cliffs as a colossal fireball erupted beneath their feet, sending the captain and his lackeys tumbling like pebbles in a storm. Smoke and debris filled the air, and flaming chunks of rock rained down like hellfire.
"WHAT THE—?!"
The Uruk captain stumbled back, coughing as he waved away the thick smoke. His ears rang, and his vision blurred from the sudden shock.
"Who did that?!"
"Kaboom?"
Two distinct, almost gleeful snickers echoed from below.
"Yes, boys…" Naruto's voice rang out, dripping with exhaustion as he pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes shut as if praying for patience. "Kaboom."
"Flint and Tinder," Little Shelob deadpanned, her voice dry as desert sand. "Why are you here...
Emerging through the smoke like two oversized, mischievous children who had just blown up the family barbecue, stood none other than Flint and Tinder—two Olog bomb-makers with brains the size of walnuts and an unhealthy addiction to explosions.
Flint, the larger of the two, wore a grin so wide it could rival the Warg's jaws. His massive, scarred hands were coated in soot, and his crude armor looked like it had survived one too many of his own bombs. "Boss said recon." His voice was as deep as rolling thunder. "We thought we'd clear the way."
Beside him, Tinder gave a satisfied nod, his hulking frame somehow managing to hold a bundle of makeshift explosives like a child clutching candy. His mismatched armor clanked with every step. "Less traps, more fun!" His grin was almost innocent… if you ignored the burning debris behind him.
Naruto's eye twitched. "Recon." His voice was calm. Too calm. The kind of calm that came before mass destruction. "I said… RECON."
"We heard 'boom,'" Flint shrugged, completely missing the point.
"And we delivered!" Tinder added proudly, holding up another VERY lit bomb like a prize-winning fish.
Naruto blinked. "Tinder…" he said slowly, face drained of color.
"Yeah, boss?""Why is that still lit?!"
Tinder blinked. "Oh…" His grin faltered as realization dawned. "Oops."
"BOOM!"
Another massive explosion rocked the ridge, sending the captain, his lackeys, and even the unfortunate Warg flying into the air like ragdolls.
"AAAAARGH!"
"NOT AGAIN!"
"MY LEG!"
Flint and Tinder stood proudly in the aftermath, arms crossed, nodding to themselves with deep satisfaction.
"Boom." Flint nodded.
"Double boom." Tinder corrected, still grinning.
Naruto facepalmed so hard it echoed louder than the explosion. "Why do I even bother?"
(...Meanwhile...)
From the charred ruins of the ridge, the Uruk captain emerged—barely alive, his armor in tatters, his pride even more so. His once-cruel sneer had been replaced by wide-eyed terror. His loyal steed was long gone, made so much meat in the rubble below.
"W-what… what kind of monsters… are these?!" he croaked, smoke pouring from his helmet.
Fiends! Demons! Worse than wraiths they were!
Before he could recover, or better yet flee to warn his boys, a flicker appeared before him in a blur of speed. Its blue eyes glowed like storm-forged steel, and wild energy flickered within his palm. It towered over him for a long moment, saying nothing at all; it just stared, and in those blazing eyes he beheld his doom.
It was those eyes.
Worse than the Dark Lord they was.
...to answer your question?" came the answer as said golden blur drew his fist back. "Boom."
The captain's world exploded into blue light as the rasengan's sent him flying across the wastelands, crashing through a dozen orcs like a bowling ball through pins.
"STRIKE!" Little Shelob cheered, clapping her tiny hands with glee.
Naruto exhaled, stretching his neck. "Alright… now that that's handled…"
"BOOM!"
A smaller, delayed explosion shook the ground again.
Naruto's face darkened as his head slowly turned toward Flint and Tinder, who were waving excitedly from across the canyon.
His right eye twitched. "Why. Are. You. Still. Blowing. Stuff. Up?"
Flint blinked. "Wasn't me, boss."
"Then who—"
"AAAAARRRGHHH!"
A distant, echoing scream followed as the last surviving Uruk from the ridge fell from the cliffs… landing directly onto a pile of Tinder's leftover explosives.
Naruto's heart dropped. "No way…"
BOOOOOOM!
The resulting explosion lit up the canyon like a miniature sun, sending shockwaves echoing for miles.
Naruto's jaw clenched. "I'm… gonna lose it."
There was s
"On the bright side…" Little Shelob giggled, her legs swinging playfully as she perched back on his shoulder. "We definitely cleared the way!"
His shoulders slumped. "Why is 'recon' with you guys always a damn apocalypse?!"
"Because it's fun!" Flint and Tinder answered in unison, grinning like overgrown toddlers with firecrackers.
Naruto's eye twitched. "I need a vacation."
Cue chaotic laughter as Naruto stored off while Little Shelob hummed happily, and Flint and Tinder high-five in the background.
The next trap laid by the Uruks also backfired spectacularly.
Explosives went off in random intervals, sending orcs and trolls alike flying through the air in comical arcs.
"AAAAAGH!"
"WHO PUT SPIKE TRAPS HERE?!"
"OH NO! NOT THE GROG BARREL!"
A chain reaction followed. The nearby Warg pens snapped open, releasing a dozen snarling beasts that, in a panic, trampled over half the orc ranks. Trolls, enraged and confused, swung their massive clubs indiscriminately, crushing friend and foe alike.
"GAAAH! WHO ORDERED CHAOS?!"
Naruto and Little Shelob stared at the ensuing carnage, wide-eyed.
"I… didn't do that." the former blinked.
"For once, neither did I." Little Shelob arched a brow, her eyes narrowing as a thin smile bloomed across her face. "But I do like the results."
Naruto opened his mouth to reply, only for a guttural roar to cut through the pandemonium.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" A towering Uruk, bigger than any Naruto had seen before, stomped forward. His armor was covered in thick metal plates, spikes jutting out at odd angles, and his molten eyes burned with rage.
"Who's this ugly bastard?" Naruto muttered.
"Balguk the Unbroken," Little Shelob whispered, her tone unusually grim. "He's… not one to take lightly."
"Oh, great." He groaned. "Of course he's got a fancy title. They always do."
"Aren't you called the Orange Lord...?"
"YOU!" Balguk's beady eyes zeroed in on Naruto and Little Shelob. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR GAMES!"
"Games?" Naruto spread his arms innocently. "We just got here!"
"THREE CAMPS! THREE!" Balguk's face twisted with rage. "YOU'VE TOPPLED THREE OF MY CAMPS IN TWO WEEKS! AND I WILL NOT LOSE ANOTHER TO A MOUTHY PINKSKIN AND A DAMN SPIDER!"
Naruto's expression shifted into one of quizzical confusion. Had he done that? In hindsight he supposed it wasn't in his nature to sit still, but three camps? He only remembered Nurn having that one Fort and it wasn't even all that challenging. Had he really been that busy? Didn't particularly feel like it; but then again, maybe the Orcs had been busy...
.
.
...or maybe this one was just dumber than a sack of rocks.
"Three?" His grin faded, replaced by a calculating gleam in his eye as he recalled Bruz's latest prize. "I didn't even mean to take the last one…"
"Yet you did." Little Shelob's small voice was oddly serious as she leaned forward. "And they're taking notice."
"Huh." Naruto scratched the back of his head, his brow furrowing. "Guess I've been too busy keeping you out of trouble to realize…"
"I do not get into trouble," she huffed indignantly, her nose in the air.
Naruto deadpanned. "Liar."
"Alright, ye, occasionally." She waved her hand nonchalantly. "But in my defense, I enjoy the chaos."
"Wait…" Little Shelob's voice dropped as she sensed something… wrong. "He's not alone."
A dark chill filled the air, rendering his breath cold steam on the wind. Craning his neck, he found two shadowy figures standing astride the wreckage. Hooded and wreathed in spectral malice, their very presence seemed to darken reality; as though they were a stain upon existence itself.
Neither spoke a word, yet he felt the weight of the their regard all the same.
What had Eltariel called them again? He couldn't quite remember.
Naz? Naggy? Nazgûl! That was the one!
"Aw, come on!" Naruto's grin twitched. "These guys and an oversized Uruk? What is this, 'Boss Rush Mode'?!"
"This is bad." Little Shelob's usually mischievous tone was gone, replaced by genuine concern. "We can't fight them all at once…"
Left unspoken was her own fear. Shard of her true self or no, she had no desire to be torn apart, and these wraiths -brrr! He hated ghosts!- very much could if they got their hands on her.
"Then we improvise." He flashed a determined grin. "I'm not losing anyone today."
"Which is," Balguk rumbled a laugh, "You will die!"
The Uruk charged, his massive form tearing through rubble and debris like a wrecking ball.
"Welp." Naruto cracked his knuckles. "Guess we're doing this."
To be fair, it was a very nice charge, full of sound and aplomb, much swearing and promising of pain. You'd be wise to get out the way...
.
..
...if you were normal.
Naruto ducked under Balguk's massive strike, then parried the second, forcing the big brute's arm high. He lunged in to finish him; intent on using the moment to smash a bloody hole through his chest.
Kurama hissed out a warning.
A tingle across the back of his neck caused him to step aside and well that he did; because a heavy black crossbow bolt pierced the space he'd occupied only a moment before. It skewered the earth at his feet and where it struck the grass withered and died, bringing with it a noxious smell like so many twisted fumes.
Balguk brought an archer, it seemed. Impressive. Poisoned arrows, too. Most impressive. Maybe there was a brain in that thick skull of his after all.
Moreover, anyone who could almost hit him mid-stride was someone he wanted on his side.
What?! Waste not, want not! He knew talent when he saw it!
Mistaking his silence for fear, the obstinate olog grinned took the chance to locked arms with him. "Betcha thought I was alone, didn'tcha?"
Naruto quirked a blond brow and whistled sharply. "Shelob! I want that archer alive!"
Shelob saluted and skittered up the ridge, vanishing from sight.
Balgulk growled. "Not good enough for ya, am I?"
"That remains to be seen."
He broke the deadlock, but rather than attack again he ground, movements a blur as he weaved backward through the chaotic battlefield. A few feints followed, more to pinpoint the archer's location than to test the brute before him; when no barrage of bolts were immediately forthcoming, he knew the shard of Shelob had done her work well.
His chakra flared, a golden glow illuminating the darkness as he gathered Rasengan in his palm.
"Let's see how much 'unbroken' you really are!"
He darted in close, his Rasengan slamming into Balguk's armor.
BOOM!
The force of the impact sent the Uruk staggering into a boulder, but remarkably, he didn't fall.
That alone spoke of magical interference...or an innate toughness.
"Damn. Boisterous bastard."
He looked to the ridge where the Nazgûl duo still lingered, watching. Neither made any attempt to approach. They just...watched.
.
..
...was this a test of some sort?
Or did they truly not consider him a threat?
He would've been insulted if he wasn't so preoccupied.
"He won't fall without a fight," Little Shelob materialized behind him, looking no worse for the wear. "And his friends shan't be far behind."
Naruto craned his neck back to regard her. "You deal with our archer?"
"He's cocooned and hanging from a tree."
"Alive?"
"Who do you take me for? I already had breakfast just this morning."
"Oi!" Balgulk boomed. "Ya done jabberin' over there or what?!"
"Great." Naruto's grin sharpened. "Two birds. One stone."
"What are you thinking?"
"That big guy likes playing tank, right?" Naruto's grin turned positively wicked. "Let's make him a wrecking ball."
Skirting backwards, he grabbed one of Flint and Tinder's leftover explosives—a barrel of concentrated grog and firepowder—and hefted it high.
"Kaboom part two?" Little Shelob clasped both hands behind her back, tilting her head.
"Oh yeah." Naruto grinned. "Bigger and better."
"What in the—?"
Balguk's eyes bulged as he beheld his doom too late.
"KAGE BUNSHIN: BOOM EDITION!"
Hundreds of clones appeared, each holding an identical barrel, swarming around Balguk in a comical whirlwind of chaos.
"Oh no." Balguk's expression turned to one of sheer horror.
"Oh YES." Naruto's clones grinned collectively. "LIGHT 'EM UP, BOYS!"
With an absurd amount of strength, each hurled their prize directly at Balguk's feet.
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
To call what followed an explosion would be inadequate. It was fire. It was death. He ducked down to shield little Shelob from the worst of it, but he needn't have; the sheer plume of fiery devastation rocketed right up into the heavens like the finger of an angry earthen god, piercing sky and cloud alike to leave his ears ringing.
Flint and Tinder would've been proud.
Smoke billowed as the dust settled. Balguk lay groaning amidst a crater, his armor shattered, his body barely holding together.
"Well…" Naruto dusted himself off, a satisfied smirk tugging at his lips. "That takes care of him."
"I'll say," Little Shelob huffed, perched comfortably on his shoulder again. "Though I think you're enjoying this a little too much."
"What can I say?" He flashed her a fox-like grin. "Blowing up bad guys never gets old."
"We still have a problem." Little Shelob's expression darkened as she pointed beyond the wreckage.
The remaining Nazgûl floated ominously, their malice undiminished.
As he looked on, they began to descend towards them.
"Ah." Naruto blinked. "Right. Forgot about them."
"We can't fight them all, Naruto."
"You're right." His grin returned, sharp and dangerous. "But we don't have to."
With a single whistle, a familiar sound echoed across the battlefield—a chorus of war cries.
Bruz. Kruk. Az-Laar. Flint. Tinder. Someone had even dragged poor broken Eltariel out the fortress judging by the sound of things.
"You called, boss?" Bruz grinned, his massive frame smashing through a group of unfortunate orcs.
"About time you showed up!" Naruto laughed, flashing a victorious grin.
"TOOK US A MINUTE," Kruk grumbled, his ax dripping with gore. "YOU KNOW HOW IT IS."
"Alright, boys!" Naruto raised his hand high. "Let's send these ringwraiths packing!"
"FOR THE BOSS!"
The ragtag army roared in unison, surging forward as the Nazgûl hissed in fury.
"Told you we were building an army," Naruto quipped, giving Little Shelob a wink.
"Accidentally." She smirked, leaning into his shoulder with a rare, genuine smile. "But I think I'm starting to like it."
"Heh. Same here, kiddo."
As the chaos erupted once more, Naruto and Little Shelob dove back into the fray, completely unaware that their legend was growing with every step.
"Alright, Mordor!" Naruto bellowed as he charged. "LET'S ROCK!"
On a whim, he chose the leftmost Ringwraith and launched himself at them like an arrow.
Evidently the creature wasn't prepared for him to outright charge headlong into the fray; it managed to raise its blade, but he slapped its arm aside, forcing its closing strike wide. From there he caught it by what he hoped was its throat, kicked its companion away, whirled and smashed his prey into the nearest rock formation he could find.
What was that Shelob had said? He couldn't fight them all? Sure, all nine might be difficult.
But against two? Ha! He could do this all day.
"Nazgul, was it!" as Kruk and the rest looked on, he chuckled softly. Blue eyes pulsed red. "That's cute."
The second Ringwraith lunged at him while he was distracted. Sound strategy in practice, not so in reality. Without missing a beat, he pivoted with his free hand gripped the ringwraith by the throat, disarmed them, and slammed them into their companion. Hoisting them both into the air he bashed their skulls together for good measure and kept their
"While I have you here, mind doing me a favor?" he grinned up at them. "I wanna send your master a message...
"Insolent fool," A raspy hiss from the left Ringwraith answered him. "We serve no master...
It was not a man's voice, but that of a woman's.
Naruto's brow shot into his hair.
"You gotta be kidding me...
A/N: Darklord331: Yup, the ones from the game. "Oh yeah. I went there." Naruto and Little Shelob continue to accidentally conquer Mordor one misunderstanding at a time while gaining a loyal (if dysfunctional) army. And now? They're gunning for the Nazgûl.
Next up?
Talion's return.
More misunderstandings with Eltariel.
And possibly… a spider princess making some interesting decisions.
Once more, we're sticking with the "Embers" rule for this particular story, and others.
If folks don't like this, it won't be continued. Meaning that if the story itself ain't popular...well, I'll not continue it. I'm working two jobs -might need a third soon!- so I barely have time to write; as such, I cannot afford to write something folks don't enjoy. So by all means, speak up! Your voice matters! Make yourself heard! As ever, reviews are the fuel that sustain me. Without them I cannot write a single word. Simple as that. Working nearly all hours of the day keep me absurdly busy, and I can't bring myself to write something folks don't like.
Aaaand there we go. As ever, reviews keep me alive. Without them, I cannot write. So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review...Would You Kindly? T_T
Here have your previews, brief though they are.
As ever:
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
SPOILERS AHEAD!
(Previews)
"Oh, great. Lava. Of course there would be lava. Nothing screams dark lord like lava...
x
"Can Orcs Cook?"
It was just a simple question; a harmless inquiry.
Bruz blinked.
Kruk craned his neck.
Little Shelob made a face
Even Eltariel, broken as she was, knew better than to question that.
Or so he thought.
"Why do you ask?"
"Question two! Are female orcs a thing?"
Bruz and Kruk exchanged a long, baffled look. "Now that you mention it...
x
Oi boss, we caught these two on the outskirts.
A giant Olog and a yellow Orc. They made for a rather curious pair.
We don't want no trouble." the smaller of the two raised his hands. "Mercy, m'lord? I mean, we was fixin' to take over this place yourself, but then you came along...
"Tough. Promised it to Bruz. Put the two of them to work. We need people to fix the walls.
x
T-T-Too damn cold up here! How are you not freezing?!"
Shelob wriggled her fingers at him. "Spider-silk cloak. Its quite warm."
"Ch-Cheeky little...!
x
The Nazugl stared at him. "...you are beginning to irritate me."
"Am I?" Naruto beamed back. "Great! Got a joke for you, Witch King. What did the fist say to the face?"
"What-
"Nope. PAWNCH!"
An almighty crack rattled the world.
EDIT: Hope you have a great day~!
R&R~!