Ginny's eyes met Harry's, her heart clenching tight in her chest. He looked at her, his expression fierce and resigned, and she knew.
She met his gaze, steady and unwavering, daring him to say the words.
"Ginny, listen..." Harry started, his voice impossibly soft. The hum of conversation grew louder around them, people beginning to stand and move about, but Ginny could focus on nothing but Harry and the emotion swirling in his eyes. "I can't be involved with you anymore. We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together."
She'd known it was inevitable. The moment the Death Eaters invaded the castle, she knew time was up. Still, a cold wave rushed through her hearing the words said aloud. We can't be together.
While her heart twisted, her lips pulled into a wry smile. "It's for some stupid, noble reason, isn't it?"
"It's been like... like something out of someone else's life, these last few weeks with you," Harry said tightly. "But I can't... we can't... I've got things to do alone now."
Say something, stop him from doing this. Show him he's not alone, she felt her insides screaming. Instead she stayed silent, looking straight at him despite feeling like the ground beneath her had shifted. She would not make this more difficult on either of them than it needed to be.
"Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to. He's already used you as bait once, and that was just because you're my best friend's sister," Harry continued with a pained expression. She could feel her resolve slipping with each passing word. "Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up. He'll know, he'll find out. He'll try and get to me through you."
"What if I don't care?" said Ginny fiercely. She knew what it meant to be involved with Harry. She understood, perhaps better than anyone, just exactly what Voldemort was capable of.
"I care," said Harry, his voice unusually thick, almost pleading. "How do you think I'd feel if this was your funeral... and it was my fault…"
The intensity of his gaze felt unbearable. She snapped her eyes away from his, looking onwards toward the lake. This was her war, too. She deserved to have her say in this just as much Harry did.
In the end, it didn't matter. Harry would always forfeit this glimmer of happiness they had shared in the vain name of protection.
With or without Harry, Ginny would always choose to join the fight.
"I never really gave up on you," she said, her voice softer than before. "Not really. I always hoped... Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself." Ginny expected to feel embarrassed as she said this, but what else did she have to lose? She looked back to Harry, finding no judgement on his face.
"Smart girl, that Hermione," said Harry, his lips forcing a smile. "I just wish I'd asked you sooner. We could've had ages... months... years maybe…"
"But you've been too busy saving the Wizarding world," Ginny choked out a laugh, unable to help herself. It was always going to be like this. Saving the world would always come first for Harry. "Well... I can't say I'm surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn't be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that's why I like you so much."
Harry turned away then, jaw tightening and rising from his seat unceremoniously and Ginny felt the inescapable ache of something wonderful slipping through her fingers. Numbness held her frozen to her chair as she watched his figure retreat into the crowd ushering along the path towards Hogsmeade.
She felt painfully aware of Hermione's head nestled into Ron's chest next to her, the two oblivious to the fact that her heart had just been broken. A sudden fury rushed through her — that Hermione and Ron could be sitting here loving each other so freely, even if neither of them realized that was what they were doing.
We could've had ages… Harry's voice echoed. No one knew what the world would bring, and here Ron and Hermione were, denying something so obvious for each other. It made her want to scream, Enjoy it! Enjoy what I can't have.
The seat next to her shifted. Ginny pretended not to notice Ron's hand intertwined with Hermione's as the two stood.
"Should probably head to the train, right Gin?" Ron said roughly, coughing to hide the raspiness of his voice. Her heart clenched again. His expression took her back to when they were younger — the blotchiness in his cheeks was unmistakable, even as he avoided her gaze.
His expression immediately reminded her of when they were younger as she caught the blotchiness of his cheeks even as he avoided her eyes directly.
"I think I'll stay here a moment longer," Ginny said with a tight smile. She found herself unable to vocalize that no, she would not be joining them on the train, just as she never had before.
Ron gave her a strange look, but Hermione's gaze softened with a sort of understanding that made Ginny's stomach twist, that she knew.
"Let's find Harry," Hermione said delicately, placing her hand on Ron's elbow to guide him along toward the rest of the crowd.
Ginny forced herself to stand then. Her legs carried her mindlessly away from the crowd and down towards the edge of the Black Lake where the water lapped peacefully at the edge of the bank.
The gentle sun that glazed across the inky water suddenly felt mockingly bright. This was the type of day she and Harry would have halted revising to spend the afternoon lounging under a tree on the far side of the bank.
It ought to be raining, Ginny thought bitterly. Storming. She felt it ought to be the ugliest day she had ever seen but as she stared out at the lake, she saw just the converse.
You knew. You knew it wouldn't last. You stupid girl, letting yourself get so caught up in something you knew would have to end.
The voice in her head sounded horribly like Tom Riddle's, the same voice that had grown louder and louder in her dreams over the past year, visiting nearly every night since the battle.
Go away, she told Tom bitterly. A sneering chuckle echoed in her mind in reply.
It didn't mean she didn't understand. She understood all too well. He was going to make this decision all along, there was no changing Harry's mind. None of that lessened the hurt of it actually happening.
This sting felt much worse than cutting things off with Michael or Dean ever had. It ached somewhere from deep within her. And Ginny hated that. She wasn't supposed to feel all caught up on the boy she said she'd let go of years ago. And yet she did.
The sound of uneven footsteps swishing against the grass pulled her from her bitter thoughts. She didn't have to turn to know it was Neville, favoring his uninjured leg.
"Hey," the blond boy smiled meekly to her, the nasty gash from the battle still healing on his upper lip. His cheeks were pink and eyes swollen, but unlike her brother, Neville didn't try to hide the vulnerability written on his face.
"How's the leg?" Ginny nodded towards it, trying her hardest to not let her voice reflect the turmoil within her.
"It's fine," Neville shrugged, and she knew he was lying. "It really is a beautiful day, isn't it?" He said wistfully, gaze following hers out across the water.
"It's insulting. The weather ought to know we're all grieving."
Neville let out a half-hearted snort. "I'm not quite sure that's how the weather works, Gin. It was like this yesterday."
"Indecent," Ginny muttered.
Silence passed between them as they both stared out at the lake. The surface rippled as the giant squid's tentacle broke through, curling lazily before slipping beneath again.
Her mind swirled over and over again, wondering if she somehow could have, should have, said something different. Something to make Harry change his mind.
"I just can't believe it's real — that he's actually gone, you know?"
"Me neither," Ginny said flatly, unable to muster any true emotion behind her words.
"I don't know if this is wrong to say given everything but… more than anything, I feel angry," Neville said quietly, looking towards her.
Angry that their school, the place that was supposed to be their safe haven, had been infiltrated. That days ago they'd been fighting Death Eaters on their own grounds. That the greatest wizard alive had been murdered by a coward he trusted.
Ginny wanted to feel angry too. She was supposed to have a whole summer with Harry. Playing quidditch at the Burrow, celebrating their birthdays, enjoying dinners in the orchard. She wanted to be furious at the unfairness of it all. Instead, she felt an aching nothingness at what had been taken from her.
"I don't think that's wrong at all. I mean, we're supposed to be worrying about exams, not the aftermath of Death Eaters invading the castle and murder our headmaster," she answered hollowly.
It must have been the wrong thing to say, or something in her voice gave her away, for Neville gave her a funny look.
"You alright, Ginny?" The question surprised her, but it shouldn't have. Neville always had a way of seeing through her.
Ginny briefly debated lying. She tugged at a loose thread at the edge of the sleeve of her robes in order to avoid Neville's gaze. "He cut it off."
"What?" Neville stilled next to her.
"Harry ended it." She drew in a deep breath, finding her throat surprisingly tight as she swallowed. "But I reckon you already knew that, that he was going to."
His eyebrows furrowed. "I didn't."
She flicked the thread away, tucking her hands across her chest and focusing instead outwards to the lake.
"When?" Neville asked.
"Just now. Brilliant timing, everyone can assume I was crying over the bloody funeral," she said dryly.
"You're not crying now," he said carefully.
"No," Ginny agreed, scuffing her trainer into the dirt.
"I actually don't think he told anyone, Gin," Neville kept his voice soft, sensitive. She could feel his eyes still on her, his unwavering gaze somehow making the aching in her chest harder to ignore. "To be frank, I'll bet he's avoiding dealing with Ron's wrath. We'd all have known, just from that alone. Merlin knows the whole dormitory's intolerable when one's mad at the other."
Ginny scoffed. "Ron would drop me in a heartbeat if he had to choose between me and Harry."
"That's not one bit true," he said in a surprisingly stern voice. "You might not know it from the way he acts around you, but Ron cares about you more than anything. Harry's his best mate, but I reckon he'd drop him in a heartbeat if it came down to it. Family is everything to Ron."
Ginny merely rolled her eyes, not trusting the strain in her voice to reply. Neville's hand gently tugged her arm uncrossed, demanding her attention.
"Hey." His voice came out hardly above a whisper and his eyes stared at her all too kindly, with too much understanding. "I'm sorry. I know how happy he made you."
Ginny's neck snapped towards the water once more. She wasn't one to let herself be vulnerable. She didn't cry, certainly not in front of people. Not since her first year. She bit hard on the inside of her cheek, but it was too late. Her eyes were stinging with the tears she'd held back thus far, her throat even tighter than it was moments ago.
It took Neville hardly a second to shift closer towards her and cradle her head into his chest.
She fought the tears at first, desperately trying to swallow them down, but the tightness in her ribcage pushed open.
Her arms wrapped around Neville in return and for just this moment, she let the shock from the past several days fall over. Tears fell rapidly, hot against her cheeks as she smothered tight breaths into Neville's shirt.
The grief of losing Harry was only a fraction of what bubbled up. War was no longer a looming idea. People were going to get hurt. Her family would get hurt — Bill already had. People would die. Great people, like Dumbledore. Like Sirius and Cedric.
She knew things were changing back when her family picked up in the middle of summer to move into Grimmauld Place, but at that point in time war was an idea. Talk of the revitalization of the Order felt exciting, like a rebellion.
Even when Dad had been nearly killed it still wasn't quite real, because he was okay, and everything would always be okay. She had been ignoring the imminent danger of war that was now as real as Dumbledore's tomb before them.
Neville kept his grip reassuringly tight on her, asking no questions and offering nothing more than the comfort of his presence. Slowly the tightness in her chest loosened. The warmth of the sun began to feel soothing, rather than suffocating, once more.
There would be no more games now. No more lounging by the Black Lake, no more giggling behind tapestries late at night. A war was upon them. It was time they started acting like it.
When Ginny lifted her head to wipe her nose and mouth with her sleeve, Neville let out a small laugh.
Ginny blinked. "What?"
"I'm sorry, it's just — I think you might be the least ugly crier I have ever seen."
Ginny responded with a harsh smack to Neville's arm.
"What!" He cried, pouting as he rubbed the spot she hit.
Her head fell to rest against his shoulder and his arm wrapped around hers. "You're full of shit, is all," she grinned up at him. Neville shook his head in response, but a mischievous smile on his face had her feeling that he'd made the comment to cheer her up.
"It's – I understand. Why he did it, I mean. I get it, I really do. I just wish he didn't feel like he had to," Ginny murmured.
"It's Harry. He's got this sort of idea that he has to do everything alone, always has." Neville glanced at her. "It's really stupid, actually."
Ginny let herself laugh at this, even if it felt forced. "Really, really stupid."
"I don't think it was easy for him Gin, I really don't. I don't think you realize just how happy you made him." Neville's hand gave her shoulder a small squeeze.
"And trust me," he continued. "I've lived with Harry for six years. He's not exactly a pleasant bloke to be around sometimes. But these past few weeks he's been with you — he hasn't been his typical, moody self. He's been, well… happy."
The corners of her mouth tugged upward the smallest bit. "I saw it coming. I – I knew it wouldn't last. I just thought we had more time. Through school next year, at least," Ginny admitted softly.
Foolish, foolish girl, came Tom's nasty voice again.
"I feel so stupid for getting caught up in it all so quickly."
Neville frowned. "Gin, what you two have is special. Harry gets this dumb, glossy-eyed look when he's watching you –"
Ginny raised an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah, he watches you all the time. Has been for months. Not when you're doing anything special, just when you're sitting, writing, revising, eating breakfast. The way you laugh at each other is absolutely revolting. And you always seem to know what the other is thinking and feeling without saying a word – it's bloody weird I'm telling you…
A pained laugh bubbled up. It hurt even more to hear Neville say these things. That she hadn't imagined it all, how different things were with Harry than they'd been with anyone else.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is, you mean just as much to him as he does to you. And what you and Harry have is something that I'm not sure everyone gets lucky enough to find. So at the end of all of this, whatever that might mean, I have a feeling you'll find each other. I really do."
Ginny smiled sadly at Neville. She wanted so badly to cling to the hope he was offering her.
Fool me once…
"Things will be so different now," she murmured, trying to cut off Tom's taunting voice in her mind.
"Yes, Gin. Things are going to be very different. But we'll take them on like we always do. We will be – we are ready – for whatever comes next."
The conviction in his voice made her look at him properly. This wasn't the same Neville who used to stammer his way through sentences and misplace his toad every other week. He still had that familiar kindness, but he stood taller now, a confidence in his posture and steadiness in his expression.
"You're right," Ginny said, and she meant it. This was their fight, too.
His serious expression faded to a surprisingly optimistic smile. "And we'll make it through, and Voldemort will be gone, and you and Harry will live happily ever after. Even if it's against all odds. Alright?"
"Yeah, alright," Ginny laughed, gently nudging his ribs. "Even if it's against all odds." She looped her arm around his waist to allow him to lean into her as they started back up towards the path to Hogsmeade.
"Hey Nev?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I sit with you on the train?"
Neville grinned back at her. "Only if Trevor won't be a bother to you."
"Best if you don't invite Dean to play Snap with us this time," Ginny smirked, and at this Neville's head lifted back in a barking laugh.
He nodded back towards the thinning crowd of mourners, a sly smile on his lips. "Let's go find Luna, I'll bet she's got a mad Quibbler quiz for us to do."