"Get up." Buck knew it was Eddie before he groaned and rolled over to look at him.

"Why man? Come on…" he covered himself with his comforter again, hiding his head from the sunlight from his too-many windows. Buck knew that Eddie was going to do it again just by the long huffy sigh he let out as he walked around to the other side of his bed.

"Because it's morning and you have things to do." He said and threw the covers off of Buck again.

"No," Buck started, his hands up from where he'd tried to catch his blanket. He was frustrated and wasn't hiding that as he gave Eddie a little glare. "I really don't."

"You need to get out of this house," Buck covered himself, and then Eddie ripped the blanket off again. Buck shot up, groaning softly with frustration "And take a walk around the block and get some fresh air." Eddie stepped back and watched Buck to make sure that Buck did get up.

Buck did, throwing his hands up in exasperation as he did. "Why? What's the point?"

"Well, the point is," Eddie followed Buck as he walked down the steps. He took them faster than he should have since his leg was always sore when he first got up. "Your life isn't over just because you're not a firefighter." Eddie stopped at the top of the stairs and looked down at Buck, watching his leg.

That familiar, longing ache rose in Buck's chest at Eddie's words. "Says the firefighter." He tried to sound bitter, but he knew it mainly came off as sad. Maybe even pathetic. You're quite good at being pathetic, Evan.

"You know, that blood clot could've killed you," Eddie said and Buck wasn't sure what kind of tone he was using but he distracted himself by looking through the old takeout containers on his table instead of thinking about it. "But it didn't." Eddie had started walking down the stairs. "You have your whole life ahead of you, so why don't you just take it as a win? Stop feeling sorry for yourself?"

Buck paused, temper flaring quickly before crashing back down just as fast. He exhaled heavily as he turned to walk by Eddie to go back upstairs, then, "Hey Buck!" Buck looked around the stairs and found his favorite person in the world. Eddie smiled as he walked past Buck into the living room, smug as if he already knew he'd won the battle.

"H-hey buddy." Buck tucked his hands in his pockets and glanced at Eddie. He followed him into the living room. "Uh, what are you doing here?"

"He's hanging out with his Buck today!" Eddie answered as he bent over to give Chris a goodbye hug. Buck couldn't help but smile at "his Buck" as he watched them. "Because I have to go to work."

"Where's Carla?" Buck was still smiling, though his confusion was evident on his face. Eddie looked at his son and Chris beamed.

"She went to Morongo!"

"Mmhmm." Buck could imagine the exact smile Eddie gave Christopher while his head was turned, the way his eyes shone with pride and love. Eddie turned to Buck and for a second the smile was still there, then it turned into something more serious. Buck felt his own smile fade into something more serious. "So take him out, have some fun. Maybe you'll learn something. He never feels sorry for himself." He paused and let the words sink in for Buck like he knew they would, and then smiled at Christopher. "Love you, buddy."

"Love you. Love you, Dad!" Chris smiled at his dad and then Eddie was gone. Buck took a breath and looked at the door Eddie walked out of, then back to Christopher.

"So," He chuckled a little sheepishly as he looked at the seven-year-old. "What do you like to do for fun?"

~~~~~~

"Where did all the water go?" Chris's words echoed in his head as Buck tumbled through the water. He tried desperately to grasp onto something- anything to get his bearings again. His lungs started to burn from lack of oxygen and his leg was screaming with the effort to swim to the surface.

They'd been sitting on the pier. Chris had wanted to stand and look at the ocean and so Buck had sat with his back to the ocean, hand firmly gripping the back of Chris' shirt to make sure he was safe but was also able to be independent. "Where did all the water go?" Buck frowned and looked over his shoulder, stomach dropping.

He hated himself for not reacting faster. He knew what it meant. Of course, he did. He'd lived in California for years now. Everyone knew what that meant. And yet, he still stared at the ocean floor, wasting time that he and Chris didn't have.

And because of that hesitation, Buck was fighting for his life to get back to Chris. He finally broke the surface, holding onto a string of lights he'd been able to grab onto. He gasped for breath as the water rushed past him and he felt the debris hitting him too. He didn't even completely have his breathing under control before he screamed out Christopher's name.

One hand still on the lights, and holding tight, Buck turned to look for Chris. Yellow shirt with stripes. He repeated it to himself, eyes searching despite the sunlight blinding him off of the surface of the rushing water. "Christopher!" He screamed again. And again. And again, panic rose in his chest. "Christopher!" His throat was already raw from the salt water.

"Buck!" Chris. Chris was alive. He was screaming back. "Buck! Buck!"

"Chris! Christopher!" Buck shouted back, trying to find him. He spotted him and knew what he had to do in an instant. "Chris, just- just stay there! Don't move!" He cried over the rushing water, desperately hoping that Chris could even hear him over it. He let go of the lights and swam to Chris. He was pulled under water again and panic rose again before he surfaced, eyes finding Chris again.

It took a lot of work and Buck was exhausted, but he got him. He got Chris. They'd managed to make it on top of a fire truck of all things, and Buck held Chris close. The sun beat down on them and Buck could feel his leg throbbing. He did his best to ignore the little bits of panic he felt now and then when Chris coughed or cleared his throat again. The last thing he needed was for Chris to start drowning sitting right beside him. It also helped to distract himself from the memories of the last time he'd choked…

"You good Chris?" Buck breathed into Chris's hair, holding him close to his chest.

"Yep!" Chris smiled and it blew Buck's mind all over again. "I took surfing lessons."

Buck chuckled softly, nodding his head. "Oh, well maybe you can teach me." Buck sighed softly and rested his head back. All they had to do was wait. Wait for someone to find them.

"Help!" Someone screamed out. "Help me! Please!" Buck froze and held Chris a little tighter. His first instinct was to ignore her, just stay and protect Chris. But he couldn't do that… he would never have been able to forgive himself. So he made sure that Chris was as safe as he could be before he took a breath and started doing his job.

It wasn't until after Buck saved everyone and was back with Chris that everything went to hell. Again. He was sitting with Chris, distracting him and telling him how much he admired him. "Just keep swimming," Chris told him with a soft smile. "Like Dory." Buck chuckled softly and nodded his head.

That's when the wave receded, shifted the engine, and then Chris was gone. He was just gone. "Christopher!" Buck screamed and looked around for him. Without thinking, Buck jumped into the water.

~~~~~

Hours later, the water had receded enough that it was only up to his ankles. He still hadn't found Chris. His hands shook and he could feel the exhaustion as it seeped into his bones, but he couldn't stop. Just keep swimming.

"H-hey," Buck stopped a group of people, hand on Chris's glasses around his neck. "Have you seen a little boy? He-he's 7 years old and he's got CP. He wearing a yellow shirt with stripes…"

"No… I'm sorry." She shook her head, her eyes softened with sympathy.

"Thank you…" His voice broke as he turned away and kept walking. Just keep swimming. He tried to think of how he could've let Chris out of his sight. If he hadn't been so set on proving himself… Chris would still be with him. Safe. He could only imagine what his mom would have to say about it.

"I don't even know why his dad would trust you with him. Clearly, you can't be trusted with things like this." She'd scoff and shake her head. "Honestly, you can't even be expected to take care of yourself without supervision, much less a whole child."

Buck's breath hitched and he stumbled a little bit. His leg screamed, each step making it worse. He lost him. Christopher was gone. Gone. His hand rested on the wall beside him as he tried to take deep breaths to keep from freaking out. The sound faded as the blood rushed to his head. His breaths came out quick and shallow.

He closed his eyes tight and sobbed, hard. He didn't care if someone was around, honestly, he wasn't even aware of his surroundings beside the wall under his hand. The tears streaked down Buck's dirty face, dripping down his chin. He had started to panic, he knew, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. He didn't know what to do.

He couldn't have lost Chris. That kid meant the world to him. If he had fought so hard in that wave to save him and then ended up losing him anyway, then what was the point? What would be the point of Evan Buckley if he couldn't even save the one person who mattered most?

"Just keep swimming." Chris's voice echoed in his head again, cutting through the sound of rushing water. Then Chris's voice started to sing it quietly. Buck spread his fingers over the brick of the wall, letting the rough stone ground him again. He took slow, deep breaths and finally opened his eyes. He picked a few things out and described them in detail in his head; a beach umbrella with pink flamingos and palm trees. The wires are bent out of shape and half the pole is missing.

Just keep swimming. Buck took another deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it go. "Alright, Buckley… let's go find Chris." He murmured to himself because Chris was not gone. Just lost. And Buck would find him. He had to.

He wandered some more, making a more deliberate effort to keep track of where he'd been and who he'd talked to. Just keep swimming. He'd seen that lady with the pink hair and blue shirt before and that guy with dark brown hair. He asked them, again, if they'd seen Chris and they confirmed that they hadn't.

"But I did hear about a triage being set up at the VA hospital. Maybe he's there?" The woman said softly, eyes soft but sunken.

"Tha-thank you." Buck touched her hand gently, ignoring the tremble in his own before he rushed off again. He was halfway to the VA hospital when he spotted the yellow shirt with stripes. His breath escaped in a huff as if knocked out. "Chris?" He picked up his pace, eyes locked onto the kid. "Chris! Oh, thank God, Chris!" He ran over and turned the kid around. As he did, his heart stopped. That wasn't Christopher. The boy's mother didn't say anything, seeming to understand, but she did take her son away.

Buck started to panic again. He took a step and his left leg finally gave out. He fell to his knees, panting hard. A guy walked over to him, frowning. "Sir? You okay? You're bleeding…"

Buck didn't quite understand what the guy meant at first. "I'm not…" He looked down at his arm where the guy was looking and his stomach dropped. He was bleeding. Quite a lot. He had gotten a large cut on his arm and another on his right leg. He was bruised all over and he got little cuts and scrapes scattered all around. "O-oh…" He took a breath to steady himself again and turned to look for something to stop the bleeding.

He was able to scrounge up some fabric from something like a flag or a banner and tie strips of it tight around his larger cuts to try and stop as much of the bleeding as possible; he was still on blood thinners after all. He huffed as he stood, ignoring his leg. "Just keep swimming, Buck." He muttered to himself as he continued on his way to the VA.

~~~

The VA was a scene of slightly organized chaos. It was swarming with people everywhere, kids and adults alike were screaming and crying. Buck weaved through the crowd, trying to keep organized lines to make sure he looked over every patient to find Chris.

He asked everyone he could if they'd seen him, the paramedics, nurses, doctors, officers- anyone he could find that may be able to help him. No one has seen him. It wasn't until he'd already been there an hour and a half that a nurse frowned with sympathy. "Might want to try the other tent…" She nodded behind Buck and he turned. Under the other tent were dozens upon dozens of body bags. He swallowed hard, shook his head to clear his vision, and started towards the tent.

His stomach churned uncomfortably as he walked, his legs feeling like a mix of jello and lead. Some part of him had hoped that he could still find Chris. That just because Buck hadn't been able to find him didn't mean that he was… he was dead…

His hands shook as he moved to the first body bag and opened it just enough to peek inside and make sure it wasn't Chris. His heart pounded in his chest and he could feel the bile as it rose in his chest, threatening to overflow with each breath. So he held it. The zipper was open just a couple of inches and- it wasn't Chris. A soft sigh of relief escaped him and he pulled back, closing the bag again. He stood up straight and looked around again.

"Just keep swimming," He reminded himself out loud before he moved on to the next body bag. He opened it up just a touch and his stomach dropped as he found a head of brown curls. The bile was there again as he unzipped more and looked at the person's face. Relief washed over him so violently, that he felt dizzy with it. "Jesus…" He breathed, steadying himself. With shaking hands, he closed it and moved on.

He searched until he physically could not bring himself to open another bag. He didn't know what else to do. Searching through the body bags felt like resigning himself to the possibility of Chris being… dead. He knew that realistically, he could go searching for days before he could find him. He would have to get help.

Maddie. The idea popped into his head in a second and he decided that was the best plan of action. He'd call his big sister and see if she could help him find Chris. His sister always knew what to do...

He turned around and hunted down someone with a phone, thankfully they let him use it. He dialed Maddie's number, memorized by heart, and waited for her to answer. "Hello?"

"Ma-Maddie, it's Buck."

"Buck? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Her voice was urgent and concerned and Buck couldn't help but break down to her, crying over the phone as he explained everything. From him and Chris deciding they'd go to the pier, the tsunami, the firetruck, losing Chris.

"Oh my god…" Maddie breathed through the phone and Buck knew that she was already tearing up.

"I'm here and they- they told me- no one has seen him and I just- the body bags, Maddie, there's so many of them and I just-" He took a desperate breath. "I-I just need your help. Have you- did anyone get a call about a boy matching Chris's description?"

"I… not that I know of, Buck… listen, you shouldn't be looking for Chris by yourself, okay? With your blood thinners-"

"I-I'm fine, Maddie! Chris is the only thing that matters! I have to find Chris!" Buck shouted, voice breaking.

"No- Buck, you are in no condition- I'm coming down there." He could hear the frustration in her voice, the way her voice broke when she was angry-crying.

"N-no Maddie I-" He groaned with his own frustration as he wandered a little further from the owner of the phone, voice dropping. "Listen I just need your help-" He stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes locked onto a familiar form in the masses. He'd recognize those shoulders anywhere. He jumped back behind the tent and hissed softly, panicking.

He'd forgotten about Eddie. How could he have forgotten about Eddie? Eddie needed to know Chris was missing… but how could Buck tell him that? What if he saw what everyone else saw when they looked at him? A screw-up, someone who wasn't worth knowing… someone who couldn't even save the one person who mattered most in the world.

"What? Buck, what is it?"

"E-Eddie's here."

"Oh my god- does he know?"

"No-not yet. But I can't-"

"No, no. Buck, he's his father." He heard her choke up. "He needs to know." Buck shook his head, trying to build up the courage when Maddie huffed.

"I'm coming down there, hold on." She said and hung up. He took a breath and returned the phone.

"Thank you. I really-"

"Buck?" Eddie's voice cut him off from what he was saying. Buck froze. He turned to face Eddie slowly. "What're you doing here? Are you okay?" Buck watched as Eddie's eyes widened at his condition and then- god he wanted to vomit. He saw the moment Eddie noticed Chris' glasses… the moment he knew what Buck was doing.

"E-Eddie… I-"

"Buck… where's Christopher?" Eddie asked, his voice breaking as he looked up at his best friend. Buck's hands trembled as he took Chris's glasses off from around his neck and handed them to Eddie.

"Chris and I were at the pier and I- Eddie I tried everything I could- I swear-" Buck choked back a sob and tried to keep it together. Eddie nodded his head a couple of times, short and quick, and a tear dripped down his face. "Chris and I got separated a-and we- I haven't seen-" Buck was too busy rambling to see that Eddie was looking behind him.

"Christopher?" He asked, his voice soft and hopeful.

"E-Eddie-"

"Christopher!" Eddie stepped around him and rushed over to a woman holding a child. Buck turned to watch him, his heart pounding. Eddie reached the woman and knelt in front of her. They moved the blanket and- Jesus, the relief washed over Buck again. He was breathless and dizzy again as he watched his two favorite people reunite.

"You're Buck?" The woman asked, her eyes watering as she watched too.

"Wha- no. I'm Eddie, his Dad." Eddie replied, holding Chris close to his chest.

"Oh… he was looking for Buck." The woman walked away and Eddie looked over at Buck. The emotion in his eyes was enough to make Buck breathless on a normal day but after everything else that happened that day, Buck was ready to pass out.

"Hey, Buckaroo! What's going on?" Chim walked over to him, hands on his arms as he looked him over. "What're you- whoa! Buck!" Buck gasped as he collapsed into Chimney's arms, too lightheaded and weak to stand anymore.

"Chris is safe." He managed to breathe before he passed out against Chimney.