For the ages

by BL-lover23

The mouth of the tiger on his neck slowly dripped blood as the knife carved along. Something gently touched his cheek and his eyes immediately snapped up. He inhaled sharply, eyes widening. Gold met Rusty Red. (“You’ll come find me, right?”) Bajitora Omegaverse

7. Chapter 7: stray cats

My walking speed adjusts

So I can be next to you, surrounded by memories

I breath just to be immobile - be stupid, laugh

If you became a stray cat, I would hold you in my chest

If you got hurt, I'd get rid of your scars

And give you the best warmth I can

Someday, come out just like that

So that once again, I'll be happy

DISH/ - Cat (English translation)

The glare Kazutora was receiving might rival the depths of hell.

The Headmaid Chiyo had made it known that he was not welcomed in the castle, nay the whole north - every time he chanced on her alone.

From the very beginning, Kazutora had a feeling that she didn't perceive him very well. Her snooty expression and curt answers were a dead giveaway. But this reaction was overly exaggerated for what he'd done.

Granted, he hadn't particularly tried to meet her halfway, so the lack of respect was justified on her end, but still.

"your grace, as the duchess of our esteemed estate, it is remarkable how your unique foreign approach to etiquette sets you apart. It takes a rare confidence to disregard centuries of tradition with such ease"

He had to give it to her though. The poise she held herself with as she insulted him was an art form.

Sadly for her, she'd chosen Kazutora as her adversary.

"thank you. Though I must applaud you as well. to dedicate your whole existence to this great house for what must be decades-"

"Of course-" she preened.

"It must have stung…" he patted her shoulder

"-what?"

"for your dedication to be rewarded like this. instead of serving the dowager duchess or the duke, all that loyalty to this family brought you here in the end. stuck with the thankless duty of serving someone like me. A Duchess who views your dedication as a sad testament to a wasted life and cares as little for outdated traditions as he does for the opinions of an old little hag"

"you-!"

he rubbed his arms for emphasis, shuddering "phew! just the thought of such a miserable life makes me shiver~"

Maybe it had been prettier than necessary, but she had started it, today at least. Kazutora had simply been bored and annoyed Baji when they'd had lunch that afternoon by his husband's insistence no less.

Sure, they had an overly dramatic discussion about what type of animal would be the best companion to keep. Had Baji been unable to choose to the point of physical torment when Kazutora had forced him to pick between a simple house cat and a wolf? Yes.

Had it been funny to watch him struggle? also yes.

Even the dowager duchess had laughed at her son's pain. But one would think he'd made the poor man choose between his lover and his country to warrant such cold treatment from the ancient artifact of a woman.

And lest he forgets, the snide remarks about his uncouth behavior any time he so much as touched the duke. He's pretty sure, he'd heard her say something about his 'brazen disregard for decorum, especially those scandalous interactions with the Duke' to other members of staff.

It wasn't like Kazutora felt hurt by her treatment. He was intimately accustomed to actually ruthless cold treatment. So this was lukewarm at best.

But that didn't mean he would take it lying down… and he'd always strived to take it a couple of steps too far. This was no different. instead of being the demure omega, he'd decided to actually give her a reason to despise him. If you cannot be their friend, become their enemy or something like that. And if she'd succumbed to an early grave because of him, all the better.

He took determined steps towards his unassuming husband in the hall, surrounded by both his Lieutenant and Sato-

Kazutora knew the headmaid was in the vicinity that's why he came here specifically. She called him brazen and scandalous, he'd show her just how scandalous he could be. "-expedition shouldn't take more than a week. I thought of bringing you along, Ryusei since you wanted a chance to use your new spell"

"sure, sure - it's still weeks away though- huh?" the beta noticed him first.

-and grabbed his husband by the collar, catching the alpha off guard as he "Kazu-mmph" smacked their lips together.

He heard several gasps. one of which was more of a choke. and a whistle (Sato probably)

The kiss had barely lasted a second before he pulled away and patted Baji's cheek (who had yet to react).

He nodded at Sato and Matsuno. The mage looked as excited as a child on their name's day while the other was as red-faced as a tomato,

"you can continue your conversation" he says before turning heel and walking away - not before meeting Miss Chiyo's gaze and winking at her purply face.

He contemplated stopping there..

He hadn't stopped there.

His next plan of attack came to him in the drawing room.

Baji had entered the room and his head snapped towards his direction almost immediately. Kazutora should have gotten used to it by now, yet his breath still stuttered whenever that intense gaze was focused on him. The alpha's features softened momentarily and he sat down on the couch to go through some papers with a grunt at the staff's greetings, beckoning him over.

"don't stay all the way over there"

Kazutora didn't have to be told twice. It was his luck that he'd chosen this spot to watch the snowfall and the head maid happened to instruct the new staff on the inventory of the books.

He looked her dead in the eye as he skipped over to the alpha and promptly dropped himself on his lap. He was immediately caught by a steadying hold and a raised eyebrow. Kazutora did not stop his intense stare down and continued to unblinkingly look at her.

Victory came when she stalked off in indignation with the rest of the staff members following her like scandalized ducklings.

2:0 for him.

"thanks for the teamwork" he grinned victoriously when she was gone and tried to get off-

Instead of letting go like Kazutora had (dumb of him, really - he should know by now what type of man he was dealing with) expected, Baji held on to him more tightly "Not so fast, what was that about?"

"nothing.." Baji only sighed in exasperation at his antics, but didn't press any further. "uhuh"

The alpha stayed unperturbed by the more difficult seating position that came with his wife using him for his schemes and rifled through the papers. "What are you searching for?" came the curious answer.

"Chifuyu needs the monthly written tax payments, but they've been mixed in with all of these other papers.."

Kazutora didn't have an excuse for the fact that he continued to remain on his lap for hours after, helping him find the correct payment listings. "…there are a lot of complaints from the border" he noted with a raised eyebrow.

"ignore those. the fifth is blowing things outta proportion again"

He counted "thirty-six times?"

"they are dramatic"

"..I see. Has anybody ever told you your handwriting is atrocious? And that is not how border is written-"

He got into another standoff with the old bat when she insinuated that he was easy. For some reason that had ticked him off more than anything else had so far. With a small chip on his shoulder, he brewed in his thoughts on how to get back at her. One could say, he'd gotten way in over his head just to get under her skin.

Kazutora did not agree.

"you're upset" Baji concluded- wrongly!, might he add.

"I'm not"

"did I do something?"

"not yet." Kazutora smiled threateningly. Best not to agitate him further then. He'd been acting weird for the last few days, but Baji had thought it best not to mention anything, as he was yielding all the benefits from it.

He would have been a fool to say something when Kazutora willingly fed him and clung to him. And always sporting that mischievous smile of his that forbode some sort of trouble when he did.

Since the omega's ire had not been directed at him personally, Baji had not minded it in the least. He was savoring every caress, every kiss, and any wandering hand that befell him.

Up until this morning he'd been living in utter bliss. But now Kazutora had a troubled expression on his face and Baji himself had difficulty remaining cool-headed in the face of it. He could sense the sporadic sting of sadness behind his ribs, telling him exactly that the omega was upset no matter how much he denied it.

There was nothing he could do to rectify it, either… as Kazutora formed into a brick wall, unwilling to divulge anything.

"say… if I were to -hypothetically of course- kill someone-" he was startled by the unexpected question.

"who are you wanting to kill?"

"that's not important, but if I were, would that go against the contract-"

"Just tell me who and I'll do it for you"

For some reason, the usually poised headmaid dropped the tray with their tea. This was a first. Miss Chiyo had never so much as stumbled in all of his years as a breathing human.

He waved off her stammering apologies (which was a first as well) and told her to retire early for the day, which she shakily accepted. Her age must be catching up to her, he thought with raised eyebrows.

"Never mind" It sounded more clipped than anything else so far. When Baji whipped back around to Kazutora, he looked even more irritated than before and Baji was left wondering what had happened in that short amount of time he had not been paying attention. he had a feeling he'd made some sort of mistake here.

"…what did I do wrong?"

"everything" He watched as Kazutora walked out of the drawing room and was left there by his lonesome for a few moments. the broken grandfather clock was the only thing left to keep him company.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Dumbfounded, he watched as Kazutora stalked right back in with no explanation spitting something about 'show her easy' and practically climbed on top of him and slotted their lips together, his own hands had already gripped the back of the tiger's neck and brought the omega closer, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Every time he kissed Baji, the breath was knocked out of him without fail as Kazutora filled his senses and he wanted to just flip them over and-

Baji tried to steady himself and breathe through his nose, which had been a mistake, he realized quickly. The only thing he could smell was the sweet scent of honeyed lemons and that just wasn't playing fair.

But he had no room to complain. Kazutora truly was the gift that kept on giving, a soft sound escaping from his mouth. Baji had to fight every instinct not to take charge and overwhelm or worse frighten the skittish omega if he was too forceful.

This was new territory to him as well. He'd never harbored this type of longing for anyone. He'd never comprehended other alphas and betas in their what seemed back then more than idiotic infatuations…

But now as Kazutora tilted his head for better access, Baji was willing to just take, take, take-

until everything that was Kazutora became his, his alpha hungrily supplied. just as it was always meant to be-

Static enveloped his mind when Kazutora just opened his mouth to let Baji's tongue enter and do as he pleased and maybe it was Baji who was just reading too much into it all and it was that easy. Over the last few days, Kazutora certainly had acted like it was and it was the alpha alone that was making a big deal out of it. Perhaps he was just simply meant to follow his wife's example.

his wife.. he didn't think he would tire of that word. he grinned into the next kiss. Mind made up, this time Baji flipped them over and- "Eh?" His wife looked adorable with his confused expression, dazed eyes, and pretty pink lips opened in question. he dived right back in.

The next thing Kazutora remembered, was getting the soul sucked out of him as Baji continued to hold his mouth hostage. He was pretty sure at one point he'd seen stars. It might have just been the lack of proper airway though.

One moment he was clinging to Baji and the next something slid beneath his legs and grazed- oh gods. Kazutora gasped and let out an embarrassed sound. Baji looked at him in shock for a moment before a devious smile stretched on his lips.

"shut up"

"Oh? I didn't do anything"

"you've done enough!" Red-faced, Kazutora hastily slid from under him and bolted out the door. Once again, Baji was left alone in the room. But this time, he was much more joyful at his wife's hasty departure.

And boy, did he enjoy Kazutora's sudden inability to look him in the eye when dinner time came. As soon as their eyes crossed, his cheeks colored into that pretty shade of pink as he mumbled something before averting his golden eyes once more.

It was even more adorable to watch him stutter through conversation when his mother asked his wife if he was coming down with the flu.

crunch!

crunch!

crunch!

Baji's eyes opened to the snowy whites of the northern forests. his head whirled around to see where exactly he'd ended up. This wasn't any of the forests he'd been to before.

crunch!

crunch!-

his feet moved before his mind had even registered the footsteps of another person. "who walks here?" he demanded with every ounce of wariness he could feel chilling right into his bones. he grabbed for his sword but found nothing.

he looked up and-

fear gripped him whole. Walking towards him was brown and gold hair that was much longer than the messy hair it should be. it cascaded down to his rips, the bangs that should be long outgrown. His face looked a bit older as well, his mind supplied numbly. his earring was missing but there was no mistaking it. it was "Kazutora?"

the omega did not react, his expressionless face walking right past him "hey, stop! where are you going?" he demanded, the anxiety he felt reverberating in every syllable that left his throat.

"away." he finally spoke, but still continued his walk.

he went to grab him by the arm, but instead of his hand touching the solidness of the omega's flesh, his fingers slipped right through the limb. he looked at his hand in shock before his worry turned over to panic, realizing he could not stop him if he actually were to leave. "w-wait!"

"I must go"

"where? tell me where-" he desperately asked, blocking his path.

"away, Keisuke, don't you understand?" the alpha was questioned like he was of slow mind.

"I won't let you-"

"it is out of your control. I will leave and you can do nothing to stop it." lifeless eyes finally looked up at him and Baji tried not to recoil. "I forget, is it you or I?"

Baji didn't understand what the omega was trying to tell him "I don't-"

"which one of us perishes first, I forget"

"w-wha-" It felt like a sucker punch to the gut. All of his worst fears were spoken out into the frosty leaves like it was of no matter to the omega of what he'd revealed. "neither of us is going to die! don't speak of such depressing things-"

"the boy made of flowers, he'll fail once more, won't he?" Kazutora cut him off.

"I don't know what you mean-"

"he drags us back. over and over and over.. I'm tired, Keisuke. I don't wish to fight anymore"

a wound so deep inside, it should have long since scabbed over, reopened with a vengeance. the only thing Keisuke ever wanted for Kazutora was "you don't have to, do you hear me? I'll see to it that you'll never have to lift a weapon again. I promise you, Kazutora, just don't leave"

"Mhmhm.. that sounds nice" the corners of Kazutora's mouth turned upward as his whole body became more tangible and Baji didn't wait a moment to crush the omega against him, holding him tightly, so he wouldn't disappear from his sight. so he couldn't ever again.

he startled when Kazutora's hand brushes the back of his head before gently guiding him to his nape, Baji took a sharp breath when he realized, what his face was pressed against as the heady scent of sweetened lemons and honey swept over his senses.

"I wonder", his wife says absentmindedly, pressing Baji's lips further into his scent-gland "s-stop, tora what are you doing-" it took everything in him not to break skin, leave no space unclaimed and take what was his, his, his.

his canines scratched over the surface of the soft skin, the taste of honeyed lemons on his tongue-

"how long until the beast within you snaps and destroys everything you cherish?"

Baji jerked awake, papers flying everywhere. it took him a moment to realize where he is, only when he came face to face with the ink spilled over the table. the paper where his signature should be written on completely ruined. with a curse and shaky fingers he rushed to take a rag and clean the mess up. to no avail.

at least seven reports would have to be redone. Chifuyu would not let him hear the end of it, he was sure, pinching the area between his brow in frustration.

it took several hours for the shakiness in his fingers to finally subside. it had affected him more than he'd liked to admit.

The next few days Miss Chiyo seemed to have turned a somewhat new leaf. Her face was still distorted into disdain when she saw Kazutora, but at least she kept most of the commentary to herself.

Except for that one snide remark after lunch when their paths crossed on his way to the winter garden to meet the dowager duchess for early tea. Granted this time, it had been him that had started it. But he still owed her for yesterday's comment.

"Not to think what it is like seeing yourself in these grand mirrors, encountering the same old layer of dust—always there, no matter how much you try to get rid of it only to realize it is your own face" he claps himself on the shoulder, he must have been a poet in another universe.

the only reaction he received was a twitch in her right eye. Nothing more. He was almost disappointed when the only thing to leave her lips was "thank you, your grace, for worrying about my workload"

the victorious grin fell from his face. Great. Now he just felt like a bully harassing his staff. he contemplated whether that would make him the bad villain second-rate romance novel. the terrorizing noble that bullied their household staff and plotted to poison the hero's love interest out of jealousy.

Kazutora walked away unbalanced, wondering if he'd just stumbled on her at the wrong time when he'd heard it. A cold bucket of ice slid down his spine rooted to the spot as the words washed over him. He was pretty sure, she hadn't wanted him to hear that. But years of paranoia made him sharpen his ears.

"may the foe have mercy for the offspring this union brings forth" He swallowed as the oblivious hag rounded the corner and was gone from the hallway. The only one to remain was him.

As he'd enjoyed his time fooling around, he'd completely omitted the fact that he had yet to tell the alpha of his faulty condition.

There would be no offspring, no heir-

If the whole marriage hadn't felt like a scam before, it did even more so now. It was one thing to skip the mating bite but leaving House Baji without a proper heir? Could that be justified? they had not even consummated their marriage. (would they one day?) Baji would surely expect an heir to come from it, wouldn't he? His stomach plummeted with nausea.

And it was not like in other nations or even other districts. The Northland abided by a strict code. One marriage partner. One. Baji would become a laughing stock if he chose to take a concubine. They could not just take another to bear their children without their integrity being put into question. The scandal if the warden of the Northland himself was forced to do so.Hee could only ever marry anew if Kazutora was dead or the marriage was annulled. and marital contracts appointed by the crown itself-

it would be impossible.

but there would be a good reason for the annulment, with a broken omega, one of the great houses could not be expected to lose their legacy. And since their marriage was not properly consummated, maybe they'd grant it to Baji.

It's not that Kazutora had omitted the fact willingly, but what did that matter? with all of these sudden changes in his life he'd simply disregarded all thoughts of it. He'd lived with the fact for so long, it had been part of him for as long as the crown of his hair colored with strands of gold. and if he didn't look at the mirror for long enough, he'd forget about it, too.

as gold took over dark brown in sporadic sections, he also knew no pregnancy would ever come of him. He'd known this before he'd even presented or better said hadn't presented. the woes and miseries other omegas spoke of when talking about their heats and omega habits were foreign concepts to him.

but none of it excused not at least informing the alpha. he clenched his fists. he'd have to tell Baji, then the alpha could properly plead for annulment and put this farce far behind him. no hard feelings. They've barely been married two weeks and they had not bonded or mated. Under the citadel, this alone would be reason enough for an annulment to be given. The omission of his infertility would surely make it easier for the alpha.

the alpha's reputation would remain intact and he could wash his hands off of Kazutora and be rid of him.

however.. the thought of standing in front of the alpha, and explaining the issue to him- was a terrifying thought to consider. He'd be disgusted by him, wouldn't he?

Not to mention Baji was not a man to simply let such a matter go. He'd ask questions and Kazutora had no answers for him. None that he would wish to divulge anyhow. it would be humiliating. would he be even able to stutter out a single word?

"Ah, there you are, how come I always find you in one hallway or the other. are you that fond of them?" the teasing voice of Ryouko-san reached him "I've been waiting for you for quite some time"

"I apologi-" before his arm was suddenly linked with hers as she dragged him along, waving away his half-spoken apology. he could see where Baji's boisterous personality had originated from "I had another batch of lemon tarts made, you loved those at our first breakfast, right?"

He didn't even find it in himself to be embarrassed about his obviousness, his mind still circling on about how to tell his husband and woodenly nodded along. She was about to say something else when a sudden clap of thunder had them both jumping in their spot. "..I didn't even realize a storm was upon us- Kazutora-kun..? are you okay?"

The dowager duchess looked at him with worry but Kazutora couldn't even open his mouth to reassure her, clutching his hands to his ears. Then the sky outside the window lit up for a moment before another clash rang out and he shrunk further into himself. the only thing he could comprehend was the pulsing heartbeat in his ears.

The chandelier above them flickered with the vibrations beneath.

"I.." another clap and Kazutora almost crumbled into himself the only thing holding him being Ryouko-san's still interlinked arm.

"Let us get you somewhere else, where there is not as much of an echo, hm?" it was hard to discern what was being said to him, his ears readying for another strike of thunder, when he was gently led away from the gardens and instead brought to a vacant library.

With every few steps, the sky lit up and the ground shook beneath at the mercy of the angry skies above.

Kazutora felt somebody speaking to him, but by the life of him, he could not bring himself to hear a word. His shoulders were held into a tight grip, she was trying to tell him something, but he couldn't move

One moment he was being spoken to and the next he was alone. He blinked and darkness was all he could see. realizing the room had no windows-

Kazutora fell to his knees- no-

the darkness was far worse. why did he let himself be dragged in here? when had he been abandoned?

His breathing picked up. Was this the retaliation he'd expected of her? How dumb of him to expose his weaknesses to her. He needed to find the door and get out of there-

The panic had seeped so deep into his bones that when the next sound of thunder struck he'd scrambled beneath the first table, his head tucked into his legs - rocking back and forth, counting the seconds until the next strike.

His mind couldn't even conjure a thought together. He began to scratch his arms, where the seals had been inscribed, an irrational part of him hopes that scratching them off would grant him the ability to access his mana. And with it, he could finally make his own light-

He scratched and scratched and scratched, he could feel the ripped skin beneath his fingernails, but his mana was as mute as ever.

He blinks when a small flicker of light returns, his face snapping up to see the familiar lines of Ryouko's face hovering above him with concern written all over. His wide eyes flicked down to the lamp in her hand, then back up to her.

She… came back-

"I told you, I'd look for some light, remember?" had she?

"Oh." She sat down next to him under the table, putting the light between them. So it would remain visible to Kazutora as they huddled together.

it took him a while to finally find the right words "there was a storm on the ship right before we made it ashore" he licked his dry lips. Ryouko hummed to let him know she was listening. "It was much worse than this and the waves were huge, I could barely see a thing…"

His eyes remained on the lantern "yet I was able to move without thought. My body did not react -" so pathetically

"sometimes our mind lets us think we moved past something only for it to sneak back up.." She played with the seams of her sleeve.

"I loved storms when I was a young girl. used to run right out, hoping to catch lightning in my hands" she reminisced with a small laugh. "but then I grew up, married, and became with child. suddenly storms were not as fascinating as I once found them to be…" she swallowed as her brows furrowed "the greatest storm to ever be recorded hit our lands at the end of my pregnancy. It had leveled entire villages and city blocks. Even a part of the walls had fallen that night. until then Omamori's might had seemed unconquerable. but standing there after, seeing the gates blessed by the brother crumble so easily. so many lives were destroyed in one single night"

structures deemed to have been blessed by one of the gods to succumb made even the greatest non-believer cower in fear. if the holy lands blessed by the foe were to turn to rubble- Kazutora could not fathom it, now after he'd seen the grandness of those walls with his own eyes, he could not imagine them to fall either. it was chilling.

She sighed before smiling, her gaze far away. It was more of a grimace than a proper lift of her lips. "My son had chosen that night to grace the world with his presence. As a vassal and warden my husband left out those gates to rescue those that he could" Kazutora didn't think she was even aware he was still there "my husband left out those gates smiling and came back to me in a wooden coffin" Kazutora held his breath.

"From then on I hated storms, resented them truly. With every lightning and thunder that followed I'd lock myself up in my quarters and hide underneath the sheets for those same clouds had taken my happiness. silly, right?" she smiled sheepishly.

"Did you ever get over it?" he asked, fearful of the answer.

"I don't think a part of me ever will"

Kazutora couldn't even comprehend what that would have done to him if he'd ever given that much of himself to another being only for them to perish and be taken from him. He didn't think he'd be capable of continuing on.

But sinners like him didn't have to worry about such things. Even the likes of romantic tragedies would have been too kind of an ending for him.

"I continued like this for years until one day many years later I found myself searching for my son as another storm hit. I still believe that child had it out for me back then. I frantically searched up and down the whole castle, thinking the worst, when I was told he'd scaled the outer walls and wouldn't come down"

"how old was he?" Kazutora blinked stupidified.

"six years old, far too young to be giving me so many grey hairs." She laughed again when she saw his shocked expression "I remember I was terrified to walk out into the storm.. but I was even more scared to let another storm claim what remained of my family…" she looked at the flickering light in front of them "the decision came easy, I should say but honestly, it was terrifying. I think I cursed that son of mine all the way to the walls"

Kazutora felt sheepish all of a sudden, remembering how Baji had thrown one curse after the other at him when he had climbed after him on the ship. but the man had no room to talk!

"To be truthful I had been ready to chew him out to the heavens above for daring to pull that stunt… but then I arrived and even as I made it to the top of the gate, the storm had reached its awful peak. I was drenched and so was he. The winds had been so harsh, I wonder to this day how that small body of his had been able to remain standing.

("do you feel better now, mom?" her scoldings fell on deaf ears and she looked at him with furrowed brows. "…what?"

"I declared war on the storms for bullying you, did it work?" she stopped breathing for a moment.

"y-you came all this way up to do that?.."

"duh, how else were they supposed to hear me?")

Kazutora remained speechless, eyes wide as her words sunk in. But in a way it was also befitting of the man he'd met so far.. he should not be surprised that the same man that had climbed up after him in that storm had declared war to those same skies more than a decade prior for upsetting his mother.

He didn't even notice his own lips stretching into a fond smile.

"I think I squeezed the life out of him between chewing him out for his stupidity and crying snot and tears all over him. He would hear none of it though, remaining steadfast in his conviction that the storms had deserved it" she snorted, thinking back on the memory. "for him to stop picking a fight with nature, I had been forced to pull myself together. So I did. When a storm came I forced myself to remain in the drawing rooms and the study, even to the stalls when I felt brave enough. It was grueling and taxing, and I felt like giving up almost every second of it.

But Keisuke was there, grinning from ear to ear when I'd made it successfully and I felt like that reward was worth the suffering. only after the storm had passed though. I silently cursed his tenacity for forcing me through that ordeal while it was happening."

He didn't think he'd be much different.

"But between you and me, every now and then I find myself still hiding underneath the sheets, cursing the change of the weather"

"that doesn't diminish what you overcame" the words left his lips without thinking.

Her face turned to him and Kazutora froze at the intensity of her gaze "you're right- I deserved to give myself that much grace. Falling back into old habits was not something to be ashamed of" -so why should you? she didn't say, but Kazutora still heard her loud and clear.

It made him recoil. They couldn't be compared. She'd lost her other half in the process. What had he lost in his sins but his humanity? The only thing he deserved was to be put down before he could harm anyone ever again.

Heavy steps alerted him back into the present.

Both of them looked at one another in question as the doors burst open and more light streamed in.For a moment Kazutora was forced to close his eyes at the unexpected brightness of it, cursing at the burn it left on his eyeballs. All of the candles in the room had lit up simultaneously. The scent of wildfire followed behind it. "-we are down here! calm down, would you?!"

Kazutora rubbed his eyes a couple of more times until they weren't as sensitive to it. "why the hell are you hiding down here? I was searching everywhere for you tw-"

"you found us, didn't you? So what is the big deal with you" Baji gave her a look that very much spoke volumes about his worry concerning either of them. His mother relented with a guilty sigh "it's good that you're here anyhow. I was going to speak with both of you at dinner, but I think I'll be retiring early for today for I'm drained. I've prepared a carriage for my leave tomorrow-"

"what?" Kazutora was surprised by the tone in his own voice, sounding like he'd just received the worst news of his life

"It is high time I leave for my residence in the ice ports-"

"why?" "you can't just leave-"

she shushed them both. "I only remained this long here because you, Keisuke were off to war and now that you're back, I'm relieved of my duties"

"moth-"

"Shush, you. I've been waiting to retire for years. I finally get to ice-fish to my heart's content and it is not like I won't visit every once in a while"

Both of them still held a look of disappointment. the matriarch could only laugh. "You two should be more excited. Enjoy your youth, do what youngsters do, and don't give Chifuyu-kun too many grievances"

"what is that supposed to mean?! If anything he and Ryusei are giving me grievances.."

She just patted her son's arm. "Well then, I should finish packing" she left the lamp and walked out of the room without another word. Both of them stared at her disappearing figure.

"Honestly… why is she in such a hurry to leave?"

Kazutora was reminded how he'd been abrasive in the beginning because of his suspicions regarding her behavior. But now that they had spoken, he felt the hot coal of guilt in the pit of his stomach. "…do you think I made her feel uncomfortable?"

Baji flicked his forehead. "Nah, she's probably just projecting. She complained to me, how grandma used to always interrupt her and father and she swore up and down that she'd rather die than become just like her, even if accidentally"

"shouldn't you reassure her then?" he accused with a pout as he rubbed the red spot Baji had left behind.

"Does she look like she would listen to me? Once she has her mind set.." He looked at Baji unsurprised, the alpha had no reason to be annoyed, he was far worse. "you two must have gotten close. you seem rather disappointed that she's departing" he sounded almost proud as he made that observation. Kazutora rolled his eyes. Mommy's boy…

"of course I am! the smart version of you is leaving-"

"Haah?!"

"Do you think she'll take me with her if I ask nicely?"

"Over my dead body! You're staying here- hey, don't just walk away from me!"

The very next morning Ryouko-san, true to her words took a few of her waiting staff and departed in one of the House Baji sigiled obsidian carriages. sadly - surely to both of their dismay, she had not taken the old hag with her, but that was to be expected..

Even though Ryouko-san tried to deny him, her son forced her to take a dozen of his men for the journey. It was almost sweet to watch mother and son bicker before she relented and squeezed her son's cheek to the alpha's utter embarrassment.

Kazutora couldn't enjoy the moment for long before he was enveloped in a hug. He remained frozen before she released him with a smile and words of care. He'd barely been able to nod in comprehension when she'd left with her final words "Have fun tomorrow, you two and don't overdo it Keisuke"

"Yeah, yeah I won't" his husband just waved her off.

He'd felt a mix of emotions at her previous actions that followed his mind deep into the night, long after she'd already departed, he hadn't even wondered what that conversation between the two of them had meant.

Sleep had only come to him when dawn had been about to arrive. All the greater was his chagrin when his husband decided that of all days to awaken early, he'd chosen that exact day.

"time to get up"

"no" Kazutora squinted his eyes closed. since when did this man rise early? staff members did not come knocking before noon on a normal day, knowing the repercussions of what it meant to wake up their warden before he was ready to awaken himself.

"I have a lot of things planned today!"

"do them with Lieutenant Matsuno" he muffled his words into the pillow (gods know the lieutenant would move low and high water to accompany his commander, he thought spitefully) when the blanket was suddenly ripped from him. He curled into a ball at the sudden cold, glaring at the man "I despise you"

"get dressed" the alpha rolled his eyes, uncaring for the omega's ire.

Kazutora recognized it as a losing battle, grumbling as he sluggishly got out of their bed. Out of all the days to be this enthusiastic, it had to be the morning after Ryouko-san had departed. shouldn't he be moping about her sudden departure like the filial son he was supposed to be.

Before he could even go to the doors of the closet, his husband threw clothes at him, which he was unprepared to catch. They landed dead center on his face. Kazutora was ready to kill him "I swear I will-"

"put these on" He picked them up, his glare had not lessened as he mustered them "…merchant clothing?"

He looked at Baji in confusion only to notice he was in similar attire. A simple woolen shirt and trousers with a leather vest on top. Not really attire for a duke.

"I borrowed them from staff " so he'd stolen them.

"you better give that poor staff member a raise.." he didn't even bother questioning the man further. Clearly, he was not in the mood to share his plans with him and Kazutora was not awake enough to fight him on it.

After breakfast, Baji dragged him to the stables and put Kazutora on top of his horse before climbing up himself and off they went… to who knows where.

Kazutora grumbled, eyes still heavy with sleep as they closed in on the city center.

By the time they'd arrived to where Baji had wanted, Kazutora had his whole body weight leaning on the alpha, even mumbling some curses when Baji told him it was time to dismount the horse. it was a far cry from the first time he'd been forced to share a horse with the alpha.

In the end, Baji had to bodily help him down. bleary-eyed, he was about to complain some more when some rustling from the corner had him on high alert. his whole spine straightening.

His eyes snapped to the source of the sound to see several cats come out of their hiding spots, meowing in different degrees. They were surrounded in a matter of seconds or more accurately put, Baji was.

If he didn't know any better he would've thought the cats had been enchanted. The way they just naturally flocked to him, their small furry faces bumping against his boots for attention, several small kittens even scaling him as they vied for his attention.

And the alpha's face lit up with every new addition, crouching down to pet them. "look how much all of you've grown~"

Kazutora's stomach viscerally jumped at Baji's unexpected cooing voice as he praised a particularly clingy one. Kazutora had to clutch himself to get a grip. If his enemies knew that the bloody hallow enjoyed his off time playing with kittens… no, nobody would ever believe him if Kazutora were to tell on him.

Though looking at the alpha's contend face, Kazutora had a hard time believing Baji would even care. He watched as he brought out a bag of snacks and joyfully distributed them "Ash, you already had your turn, let Mingan have some as well" Baji scolded one of the more mischievous ones. A grey-colored one with a missing ear.

wait.. Kazutora snorts, those names "..did you name these cats after the legendary wolves?" from a children's book no less.

The book itself had been older than even the Citadel so its sudden popularity had been surprising, it also meant that every child that had been alive then knew the characters names. Isu's Wolfsbane.

He didn't know why his chest warmed at the thought of even a small version of Baji enjoying the tales of Isu and his wolf companions.

"yes" the answer came without shame. Kazutora was mystified. A normal alpha wouldn't be caught dead being so openly affectionate towards a litter of kittens. He unwillingly smiled remembering a conversation at lunch from a few days back. at least it explained Baji's reluctance to pick between the sigil animal of his banners and the kittens preoccupying his lap.

Baji's gaze turned to him, a teasing smile on his lips "don't worry. you're still my favorite kitty"

Kazutora gave him a glare that would have made a lesser man cower, but before he could open his mouth to curse him out something bumped against him. He looks down to see the cat that had previously tried to monopolize the jerky- trying to get his attention.

He hesitantly leaned down, not wanting to accidentally startle the cat, holding his breath as he lifted his finger in offering. Usually, he tended to stay clear of any animal, but it felt wrong to ignore the hopeful expression on its small face.

With bated breath, he watched as the cat leaned into his offered finger and caressed the side of his furry face on it. Excitement shoots through him with the touch of the soft fur as he gasps "did you see, Baji!"

"I saw" He turns to his husband in his eagerness to show him when he notices the amused expression on the alpha's face. his face immediately turns to the ground in embarrassment forcing his expression back to neutrality. He couldn't believe he'd acted this childishly out in the open.

"Ashy loves attention, the more you pat him, the clingier he gets"

Kazutora takes the extended olive branch "how come you don't have a cat in the castle if you're so smitten with them?"

"Uhh I kind of do actually.."

"Huh?" had he been oblivious to not notice the existence of a pet in the castle he now occupied?

"well, me and Chifuyu couldn't really take care of him when we were stationed in the front. My mom's allergic to cats, so she was out, too"

"you and Lieutenant Matsuno?" was he hearing correctly, that the duke and his second in command shared the parentage of a cat? he wrinkled his nose. how come the lieutenant was part of everything? he ignored the spiteful tone of his own thoughts. there should be some line drawn at some point.

"technically it's his cat since he knew him longer than I did"

"Uhuh. and where is that illegitimate child of yours now?"

Baji spluttered. "child?!"

"didn't you argue that cats were more precious than any 'snotty brat'?" He'd been very passionate in their luncheon discussions. and with this newfound information he couldn't help the spitefulness in his own tone. he ignored that part that told him, he was hiding things from Baji, too. and his far outweighed those innocent hidings the alpha had revealed so far. Kazutora had no leg to stand on.

"right.. Peke is with Chifuyu's mother. We were going to go get him one of these days, but it probably won't be for another month or two" he sounded very upset about it, and a miniscule part of Kazutora possibly felt for him. He'd probably not seen this Peke fellow for possibly more than a year.

"How come?"

"me and Ryusei have the expedition coming up and Chifuyu cannot go while I'm gone"

"what expedition?"

" There is this infestation in the Western hills of the Borderland wall, so we're currently getting everything ready. But we probably won't leave for a couple of more weeks"

"I see.." governing a district as big as the Northlands sure sounded busy.

but still, this was the moment to come clean to the alpha "There is something I need to tell you-"

A loud meow caught them both off guard. "Hm? did you say something?" Ash bumped against his hand again and Kazutora quickly continued patting him. Baji was right, this little one was demanding. "no.. "

he was in the end nothing but a coward.

After they had spent close to four hours in furry paradise, Baji brought him to the main roads where a lot of carriages were in waiting of their owners.

He'd assumed the alpha wanted to visit one of the shops, instead his next words were "choose the most uptight looking carriage"

"huh? why?"

"This street is filled with arrogant pricks for nobles and aristocrats. I once chased them all out of the city, but my mother brought some of'em back in and told me I couldn't just throw'em out, because I didn't like'm"

Kazutora blinked as he took in that statement. That was so unlike his own sire, who'd kept every noble bloodline close to him to curry favor, so this was outlandish.

Just then he sees a man in expensive attire step out of his carriage and bump into a young newspaper seller, who promptly looses most of his newspaper to the grounds. With the fury of hell hounds, the aristocrat gave the biggest dressing down to the poor boy, that Kazutora catches himself off guard when he points at him "his carriage"

Baji just smiled wickedly "exceptional choice, wife"

Kazutora felt weak in the knees when Baji adressed him as such. the alpha waited until the coast was clear to strike. He took Kazutora's hand and made a run for it. Kazutora was too shocked to do anything as Baji threw him into the coachmen's seat and sat down next to him. With one swing of the reigns they are off

His mind needed a moment to realize what his husband had done. He could hear the stuck-up noble shout 'thiefs!' at them from afar, unable to catch up to them.

Baji had just hijacked a carriage.

"you made me an accessory to your crime!" he shouted over the flurry of people, laughter bubbling up in him. He didn't know if it was the sudden adrenaline filling his body or what the alpha had done

"wouldn't be the first time" what did that even mean?

He didn't know when they'd stopped, the only thing he could register was the lightness in his chest at the absurdity of what they'd had just done. The place they had arrived at looked like an abandoned field. Most of the houses that used to be here were beyond repair and falling into themselves.

It was sombering. "what happened here?"

"A storm. This spot's been abandoned for as long as I've been alive. Nobody really comes here" the words Ryouko-san had revealed to him resurfaced 'It had leveled entire villages and city blocks'

Hearing it had been one thing but seeing the destruction that storm had left behind was a whole different pill to swallow.

"why did you bring me here then?"

"to do this!"

Baji took his hands and jumped off the carriage, he picked up a fallen piece of wood and gave it to a dumbfounded Kazutora, before cutting the horses free. As the Horses scuttle off into the grassier parts of the lot, Baji strolled over to him, mischievousness written over his features.

"wha-"

"we're setting this thing on fire"

"come again?"

"actually no, you will be setting it on fire" and without further explanation he uses fingers to snap the tip of the wood on fire. Kazutora just stared at him as the wooden log crackled in his hand.

"C'mon what are you waiting for?"

"I don't get what the purpose of this is.."

"there is no purpose, it's just fun."

"that's it?"

"that's it" Baji replied easily. Kazutora did not feel any less dumb when he approached the carriage.

But there was a giddy feeling in his chest as he watched first the doors and then the coachseat catch fire. the euphoric sensation spread over his whole body. enchanted, he stepped away and watched as the carriage was swiftly swallowed by the brightening flames.

("Let's go on a rampage,'tora!") the child's words tingled in his mind, but he could not place where it had come from.

He breathed the fiery scent in. Oddly, it felt like something in him had returned without him realizing it had been missing.

Baji ever the charitable man took the two (orphaned?) horses and brought them to some local horse keeper he 'went way back' with.

"Ah, it has been a while since you brought in horses, lad. It's good to see you're still at it" the old man grinned.

"how often do you do this?" Kazutora whispered awed and scandalized the same.

"a lot" the alpha said with a wink and a toothy grin. Kazutora would have to hold a silent intervention with himself for reacting like this every time the alpha made this move. he should be better than this, he berated himself. he was better than this. but his flaming cheeks and swooping stomach were telling quite a different story.

next up, Baji went to a shadier part of town with him, approaching a questionable seller of questionable things.

"Thirty bags of your finest please" Kazutora was pretty sure he heard a passerby utter something along the lines of let the bearer of sin have mercy on our souls. for a district that popularised the philosophies of the brother, they sure mentioned the foe a lot. one would think they'd pray to the carrier of mortals in times of need. after all a blessing far outweight a punishment.

but at this point nothing could surprise him. Baji did not fit the usual aristocratic mold he had grown up with, either. the man acted more delinquent than the delinquents Kazutora had witnessed in his performative years. there was not one rule-abiding bone in the alpha's body.

"of course, coming right up, your gra- I mean fellow member of our humble neighborhood"

he watched as Baji bought bags upon bags of some weirdly shaped firecrackers, before taking him to the nearest outer wall. Kazutora tried not to stare at the veins protruding from his arms as he shouldered those bags with no effort at all. spit went down the wrong way when Baji stopped and turned his face towards him. "you okay there?" the alpha looked at him with concern in his face.

"splendid" he coughed out. the alpha still looked at him warily before he gazed up towards the railings of the walls. he murmured some calculations before suddenly flinging the bags upwards. Kazutora's jaw hit the floor as he tried to make sense of what just happened.

Kazutora couldn't even scream as Baji just put him over his shoulder and jumped a few floors up, only bringing him back to his own feet when he'd reached a landing where he'd just flung the bags towards.

"Are you out of your mind?!" he hit his back with vigor.

"You act like I was going to drop you" the alpha teased, not sorry at all and uncaring for the hits that were drumming into his back.

"how about I will drop kick you-"

Before he could turn his threats of bodily harm into reality, Baji tucked him forward, effectively making him lose his momentum as he placed him on the ground, like one would an agitated cat. Kazutora's eye twitched, that was most probably what he was doing and readied to make his previous threat reality-

"I loved these firecrackers as a child. every festival I would go wild throwing them. The locals despised me"

"They are not the only ones" he seethed, a kindred feeling towards those poor townsfolk. he would not blame them if they still did. So far the alpha did not seem to have changed much from his youth, if the commentary he'd received from the people so far was anything to go by.

"what did you like to do?" came the earnest question and Kazutora's mind went blank for a moment. nothing, he almost said. he knew once upon a time he might have been fond of one thing or the other. but those times had long since been beaten out of him. but saying it out loud would invite unwanted questions, so he did what he knew best, lie and steer the conversation away from him "boring things. nothing as adrenaline-inducing at this…"

"Well, that can be rectified!" Up here the air was much thinner, but for some reason, Kazutora didn't mind it. "Here let me show you how it works" Baji lit the wooden stick before giving it to Kazutora. Not a moment later he did the same for himself.

Almost instantly the alpha attached the burning stick to the handful of firecrackers and as soon as it the fire caught he threw it down into the mass of people curiosity piqued, Kazutora looked over the edge.

He watched in fascination as a cacophony of crackles and smoke enveloped the streets below, not to mention the curses of profanities that were screeched among the victims.

He giggled, seeing the appeal of it now.

"Your turn"

In the late evening - After too many hours of similar antics and games, they made it back to the castle. at one point Baji had asked for a rematch of their poker game as they finished their dinner in a tavern.

Kazutora had been kind enough to let him win the first round out of curtesy or strategy to lull the alpha into a false sense of confidence, nobody would ever know — before he wiped the floor with him and then with anyone else that dared to play him. he tried not to think too much about the giddy feeling that bloomed in his chest as he remembered the alpha's proud filled expression every time Kazutora beat another patron.

it had been quite the nice day in the end, he could admit that in the quite of his own mind.

Kazutora was physically exhausted, though too- but still the satisfaction lingered. The ghost of a smile still on his lips at all the mayhem they had caused in a single day.

He was ready to turn in for the (very very late already!) night, but Baji steered him somewhere else. Kazutora felt like crying, his feet aching with protest. "can't this wait until tomorrow, we've been out for more than 14 hours-"

"It really can't"

He groaned before glaring at the man. "You better sleep with one eye open tonight" he threatened with no real bite. Baji only rolled his eyes. That didn't stop Kazutora from grumbling and bitching all the way.

By the time they arrived near the glass garden, Kazutora was ready to kill him. He brought him to a place he'd already been to at least half a dozen times! "I've been here many times already-"

"C'mon" Kazutora did not understand at all when Baji walked him to the upper deck and led him to a sealed door gilded with gold and bearwood. Baji took something out of a box and placed it into the carved seal before a bright light lit up.

Kazutora watched as the door opened with confusion,

Baji let him walk inside first and the first thing he noticed was the dome-shaped ceiling, a small slit of it was made of pure glass...

it took him a moment to recognize what this room was supposed to be as he spied the stars and moon painted on the walls and the ceiling.

a golden compass was painted in the center pointing into all four cardinal directions and right where north was pointing to- he could see it, the brightest star in the cosmos - Polaris.

His breath stuttered and he could not tear his eyes away as he walked further inside.

That was when more lights appeared as crystals activated in the room and a shocked gasp left his lips. the huge, gilded telescope encompassing the center of the room pointing at the glass ceiling above greeted him. he blinked once. twice. thrice… a dozen times just staring at the grandest guide for any astronomer.

it was not just any telescope, either. it was the star-seeker itself, Zura's eye - named after the originator of celestial spells and his ancestor.. he'd seen drawings of it… the mechanics of it had been one of a kind.

it was said to have the ability to let one see the edge of the universe. they were only a few ever made and most of them had been lost throughout history, the last known one being in the citadel in the sixth district as a relic, no longer able to properly function. He'd never thought he would be in touching distance to one. How-

"the glass above can be opened when the sky is clear, so none of the snow actually falls inside" his husband prattled on, already next to the telescope of Kazutora's dreams and the only thing that spilled out of his mouth was-

"..did you steal it from the citadel as well?"

"you're not going to let me live that one down, are you?" the alpha grumbled in faux exasperation. "no, dear wife I found it many years ago, hidden in some rubble in the eastern shores. thought it would be a shame to leave it there and brought it back here. never had any idea how to make use of though, well until now that is. this is right up your alley, eh?" the alpha forwent to mention that it had felt like leaving a piece of himself behind in that shore if he had not taken it with him.

Kazutora's chest squeezed his lungs together, his throat thick with emotion, he couldn'- there was no reason to be that shaken- but what else could he do, when Baji had only needed to listen to him once gush about the stars weeks ago and decided to dedicate a whole room to his stupid interests? when his own parents had never bothered to place any attention towards anything concerning him.

"come here" the alpha still stood by the telescope, beckoning him over with childish enthusiasm. He swallowed, taking a shaky step forward. the alpha had no patience as he pulled him the rest of the way, Kazutora could do nothing more but follow his lead, mind still trying to come to terms with the newfound discovery.

the eagerness was still there in his sharp-toothed smile as the alpha told him to try.

to try what?, he thought before his mind caught up. Oh, Baji wanted him to try out the telescope-

"..it works?" it couldn't possibly-

"of course, why would I show you something that doesn't work?" Baji looked at him like he'd grown another head. Kazutora shakily looked through the scope, his breath stuttered at the milky moon in the center of the sky. every crater, every imperfection was visible through the lense and something inside of him shook with it.

there had been a time so long ago, when he had wished for this one moment. His throat closed up, trying to make sense of why Baji (still prattling on, like he had not pulled the rug underneath Kazutora's feet) would do all of this, for what purpose. "the moon is right there, it's only this vast-"

"in the harvest moon?" he croaked out, his throat a desert. I wanted to be home before the harvest moon. what did one do with such sensation that both settled him into a warm embrace and forced him to be flung up and down, right and left with no chance of stopping to let him gather even one sound thought.

the alpha looked abashed as he admitted "yeah.."

"…why?" it was barely a whisper, he did not even know if he wanted an answer, or what he was asking exactly. Baji however, had not heard him.

"Do you like it?" the alpha looked at him expectantly, like a young pup wagging its tail and it was so much- too much. Kazutora eyed the door and the terrified voice resounded in alarm, screaming at him that this was a trap, to leave to run, to not be fooled. if the man could seal open a door he could as well seal it shut and who was to say, he'd let Kazutora leave? for a moment he considered bolting. but he remained frozen, too overwhelmed with any action. there were too many to pick from and what would be the consequences of choosing wrong.

even if he ran, where would he go? this was Baji's domain, he had nowhere to run to. so running out was just delaying, if the alpha was truly tricking him. but what else could he do?

"don't hold out on me, c'mon"

he licked his chapped lips. how was he to answer? was there a right answer? "i-it's-" he had no words to describe what was drifting through his mind right then, but he knew for sure even if he'd had the capacity for words his throat would not have been able to voice any of it "yes…I- like it" he mumbled, his eyes still wide and burning, questioning what the alpha's motives could be. going through every scenario that would grant the alpha an upper hand by going through these lengths-

But Baji did not seem to mind his lackluster answer, to him he might as well have pulled the moon down itself, with the way he beamed at Kazutora directly after, taking his hand into his "Good, because this is all yours"

"hm?!"

the man pulled out an obsydian ring with a dark blue saphire engraved into it and just like in the Tachibana estate, Kazutora was left to fumble with reality as the man slid off the leather band and placed the new ring in its place. it fit perfectly "I told ya, that I was going to give ya the real deal" his canine catching at the curve of his mouth with an abashed joy.

"it's a tradition to gift the ring to the duchess. it's rather old so if you want a new one, I don't mind getting you another. but for now this ring is sealed with the key to this room. just place the ring on the door and it will open for ya"

Kazutora reeled from the information. panicked his hand went to his finger "I can't accept- that ring must so important, it should be gifted to somebody who deserves it. I couldn't possibly-"

"who else if not you, idiot" Kazutora didn't understand why his eyes began to sting, blinking a couple of times in hopes of gathering himself. and when the next words left the alpha's lips Kazutora wanted to crumble to the floor. "Happy birthday, tora"

Happy birthday, tora. He hadn't even realized, the sixteenth had arrived. this whole time- I have many things planned for today, this fucking whole time-

He had a feeling that if Baji said another word with such kindness, he might just succumb to the aching wounds they left him with. Baji didn't even know him -- it made no sense. Kazutora himself hadn't even realized what day it was. He didn't even remember the last time his birthday had been of any worth, so why..?

"why?" he pressed hoarsely, this time just a bit louder, than his previous attempt - desperate to make sense of what reason brought Baji to do this and terrified of what answer might befall him. No one could be kind just for the sake of being kind. and if the alpha truly was that anomaly, than Kazutora did not deserve to be at the receiving end of it.

the whole day, he'd wondered why the alpha seemed so determined to include him in all of his activities - why he'd kept on insisting Kazutora had his turn with every game, why he'd let him pick all of these stupid games to begin with. and they had been stupid. childish games, that both of them should have long outgrown and now this-

"why not?" Baji shrugged, oblivious to the turmoil he had caused inside Kazutora.

He stared at him in disbelief, wanting to scream at the alpha's response. he should have expected an answer that in the end would leave him as confused as if when he'd never bothered to ask at all.

why not?

that answer was not enough. he wanted to smash his head against the wall in frustration. maybe then his husband would finally make sense to him. he clenched his fist, the ring digging into his fist.

"I can't accept that" he refuted with a stubborness he didn't know he'd had in him still.

"do you not like it?" Baji deflated, making him regret his harsh tone almost immediately.

"no- yes! that is not the issue!"

"then I don't know what you want from me" the alpha said, confused.

"you can't just say why not, and be done with it"

"but why not-"

"I swear to the gods above and beneath, Keisuke.."

Baji couldn't even focus on the fact that the omega had called him by his first name when he sounded this upset "I'm not doing it on purpose- I wanted to do it, that's it. was there a reason not to?"

there were over a hundred that were on the tip of his tongue-

Kazutora stared at him for a long time, not saying anything. He'd been taught that an action was only ever made to serve a purpose, but Baji was the anti-thesis to all he'd ever learned.

was it truly that simple?

Kazutora stood frozen, mustering the alpha's features. his smile, the lightness in his rusted irises, that did not hold any malicious intent at all and how could that be possible? how could this kindness not be anything but a falsehood to deceive him-

when it hit him like a ton of bricks. those reasons did suddenly seem not as important any more

The unruly man, who did not bow to any authority and played by only his own whims… so unlike what Kazutora ever could be… and dream of being-

and if it was so easy, if lawbreaking, terrorizing and Bloody Hallow Baji Keisuke still could be … did Kazutora have a reason not to follow his whims? before a startling revelation hit him, making him burst into laughter. "..you're right" he let out a breathless whisper.

"are you okay-"

"you're right, Baji!" he giggled with laughter. because the alpha was right. was there a reason not to?

In the next moment, he had closed the distance between them, before he could question his own actions - crashing their lips together in an open-mouthed kiss with a sort of desperation he could not comprehend himself before either of them had the chance to take a proper breath. if it was a deception then at least for this one moment, Kazutora wished to be blind to it.

the omega clutched him like his very life depended on it, both of them stumbling a few steps back, before Baji's arm circled around him with a growl.

the omega's knees became weak but he leaned further into the alpha anyway, tilting his head as he let the other get better access. A small moan slipped from his lips when Baji's fingers pulled at the back of his hair.

up until now, they always broke it off, when their touches became too heated. but right here and now, nothing was there to disturb them. Baji's teeth dug into his bottom lip and pulled. an aborted sound escaped Kazutora's throat at the sting of his split lip.

It made something boil in the pit of his stomach, that made it difficult to think clearly.

At this point alarm bells would be ringing in his head, reminding him he was getting to carried away, but as he tasted copper and pine right then all thoughts but one abandoned him- was there a reason not to?

not to continue?

not to close his eyes and let go of the reigns?

not to take whatever the alpha was willing to give to him?

He was almost disappointed when they broke the kiss in favor of breathing. Baji gave him an alarmed look as his eyes zeroed in on the small cut on his swollen lip. "shit I'm so sorry, tora-"

Kazutora's heart skipped a beat at the nickname but he didn't wait for the alpha to finish his question and pulled him back in, connecting them in another kiss, breathing "don't stop" into the alpha's mouth- pleadingly, hovering on the edge of desperation.

Baji cursed, but did not protest again, his grip on him tightening as he dragged him backwards, bringing him to the slope leading to Zura's eye and lowered him into a seating position.

Kazutora felt like he'd shatter into a thousand pieces and only Baji's hands could keep him whole for as long as he's held by him. he just needed Baji. for this one night, it would be okay. for one night he could make himself live in this lie.

the alpha left his lips, Kazutora almost whined at the loss of contact, but when he felt his mouth trail down to his jaw, then his neck, he had to muffle the sounds coming out of him with the back of his hand. He could feel his scorching tongue trace his tattoo with his tongue and left one wet bruise after the other.

Kazutora's legs quivered as heat bubbled in his gut. squirming, too weak to his touches, his own hands began to run through Baji's messed up hair, moaning with every new bruise forming on his skin, unable to let go of him.

Yet he was forced to come to the annoying realization, that his husband did not continue further down. His eyes opened as he glared up at the full moon shining down on them.

"Keisuke" he panted.

"Hm?" the alpha hummed absentmindedly, his teeth pricking his collarbone. Kazutora softly cursed at the distraction.

"mhm.. get to it"

the alpha stilled altogether to Kazutora's utter dismay. "don't stop-"

"you don't have to-"

"do you not want to?" the words slipped out of Kazutora's mouth before he could think better of it. He'd been so preoccupied with his own wants, he'd forgotten to wonder, if the alpha even wanted him. I am not biting you. He was reminded of the first night the alpha's townhouse in Central.

He must be disgusted by Kazutora, he realized, eyes widening. Suddenly, whatever answer he might have received was petrifying. he backtracked "n-nevermind" and tries to stand up

-but Baji stops him "…I've never wanted anything more"

His brain halts all function "huh?"

"I don't want you to be pressured into anything because that old goat-"

was he speaking of the king?! Kazutora looked at him flabbergasted "the King…? do you honestly presume I was thinking about him when you stuck your tongue-"

"okay!" the alpha was beet red spluttering, his hand covering Kazutor'as mouth. the southerner raised an eyebrow before licking his palm. Baji jerked his hand away with disbelief and Kazutora couldn't help himself with a laugh "where did all that suavity of yours go? was that all that empty talk and false bravado?" he didn't let him get another word in, whispering "I want to do it, that's it- is there a reason not to?" the omega threw the alpha's word right back at him.

"fuck, you can't just say stuff like that" Baji's breath was physically knocked out of him. Kazutora felt vindicated, that he left his husband floundering.

"why not?" he mocked the alpha's words from before "okay I get it, message received"

Kazutora trailed down his body, he could feel him gulping down on air, and bit his own lip to steady his breathing in anticipation.

-His hips slotted down and as he did, he could feel something as Baji cursed "y-you". Kazutora was exhilarated at the power he was holding over him as he looked at Baji's half-lidded eyes. "psht.. you had your chance, I'm in charge now"

his throat dried up at the growing thickness underneath him, making him shiver, a small moan leaving his lips, warmness spreading between his legs. it had felt big before but now-

he moved further down to open the man's breeches before he was stopped again. He groans with annoyance

"are you really sure?" what was it with the unnecessary questions.

he clicked his tongue "my hand is in your pants, what do you think? one might think this was your first tumble in the sheets" the stiffening shoulders of the alpha did not go unnoticed and Kazutora stopped dead in his movements, the puzzle pieces clicking together. "you..?"

the vehement silence that followed might have been stiffling to anybody else, but the omega could not even take note of it, feeling rather stupid for not realizing it before. sure, the northern folks took only one partner, yes. and they were honorable enough to marry someone if they had compromised their virtue publically. but that usually meant other noble omegas. so young northern alphas and betas usually had some sort of fun at least before they tied themselves to matrimony. as the alpha turned every shade of crimson possible, glaring holes into the wall behind him, his own heart unexpectedly skipped an odd beat or two, the confirmation that the other man had by all means never been intimate with anyone. it was..

sweet, admireable even. Kazutora's forehead plopped onto the man's stiff shoulder, his chest squeezing with an unkown sensation as he breathed the fresh scent of pine in "you're too much.." his own cheeks colored. Baji Keisuke was something else.

"hah? are you mocking me?"

"no! no.. I was just " it took him a moment to search for the right word "..caught offguard?"

"uhuh." the alpha still thought he was picking on him.

"I mean it! I thought it was…" his head shot up.

"was what?"

Kazutora licked his lips and thought might as well lay it out there. "sweet"

"sweet?!" the alpha looked positively purple. he had never seen the man so embarrassed. the omega looked at him like the cat that got the canary- it was refreshing. "there is no need to be embarrassed, commander" Kazutora crossed his own arms together behind the man's neck, his breath ghosting over the man's cheek. "though I am delighted to be a witness to such an adorable side of the bloody hollow"

the alpha reminded him of a prickly hedgehog, his unamused glare making his own stomach all floaty "relax. I am not going to press the issue any further." he patted Baji on the cheek "I won't force you to continue something that you are not comfortable with"

"no! i-it's not that! I don't want you to feel obligated-"

Kazutora was perplexed by the winded words that reached him. neither of them spoke for several minutes. and then the omega snorted "…Commander, shouldn't I be asking you that question?" the alpha's eyes dialated, the reaction his military title had on him was quite fascinating and the omega was quite intrigued by that reaction. Kazutora was no stranger to the pleasures of the flesh, that didn't mean however that he would continue if the alpha was truly uncomfortable, however, so far his touches seemed to have not been unwanted though his teasing was another matter. he didn't think he could let that endeavor go as easily.

he knew what he did next was not considered playing fair for some. his lips brushed the man's ear, as his hand ghosted over the man's crotch, knowing the smoldering gaze was following his hand's every movement. "if you wish to stop… you can always tell me"

He watched as the alpha's resolve folded like wet paper.

"Eh-"… or more accurately as the alpha flipped them over with a growl, that left Kazutora floundering as his back hit the wood of the floorboards, knocking all the air from his lungs. the alpha almost ripped the omega's shirt off, before his pants followed. had Baji forgotten they had borrowed these clothes from some poor staff member? He did not have long to ponder the thought before he was completely exposed. and for a split moment, Kazutora had to consider whether he had stoked the fire too much as the blazing gaze locked with his.

under his watchful eyes, he had the urge to curl into himself as the alpha mustered every inch of the omega's skin. suddenly, every scar on his body prickled, he felt ashamed at the number of them. for a stupid moment, he'd forgotten what hideous deformations were purposefully kept hidden underneath layers of clothing.

"don't hide from me" Kazutora stilled at the rough tone. "so pretty.." he stiffened, a horrible pit in his stomach telling him the alpha was being purposefully sarcastic to spite him but when he looked up-

all air left his lungs, his eyes growing wide at Baji's blazing gaze. it felt like he had set him aflame with it- skin, marrow and bone. and the alpha continued to whisper, not addressing Kazutora at all. a commentary for himself as he slowly moved down, his hands tracing his sides, the jagged lines of skin, every imperfection Kazutora knew of, the alpha took his time to touch, caress- not caring for the goosebumps he left in his wake. Kazutora bid his tongue until he tasted metal to distract himself from the dark gaze. he didn't know whether he wanted the alpha's fingers to touch him properly or not. overwhelmed from Baji's intensity already.

he blinked up at the ceiling, wondering how had their roles reversed so quickly?

"what do you want?" Kazutora could feel the goosebumbs on his skin as the alpha's hot breath whispered into end tail of his tiger tattoo and it too mouch- not enough all at once.

anything, everything- he didn't even know how to form the proper words for his dilemma "..touch me"

Not someone to be told twice, Baji's fingers gripped his thighs, spreading them apart and slotting himself between them. his mouth trailed along his neck, leaving constellations of red and purple marks behind as he hovered over him.

he didn't know what to feel when the alpha bypassed his scentglant for his collarbone. relief that the alpha hadn't forced him into what would have possibly been a fit of terror on his part or the twinge of disappointment that the alpha did not see him worthy enough of being claimed. by the marred state of his scentgland a mark would have never taken anyways. he felt ridicilous for entertainning either.

Kazutora could not linger on that thought for long, almost jumping, a breathless sound escaping his throat when his hot mouth slithered further down, leaving not an inch of skin untouched.

He had expected him to take his fill as soon as Kazutora had given him the go ahead considering how easily he'd removed any garments the omega had been wearing. but unlike other alphas this particular one took care not to crush him with his weight, taking his sweet time caressing the expanse of his exposed flesh. Baji's warm, calloused fingers left shivers down his spine as he continued to massage his stomach. he left a trail of fire wherever his touches ghosted over him. it was too much to bear still.

"g-get to it" Kazutora couldn't help but squirm with restiveness, the warm feeling in his stomach turning into an inferno.

"patience" goosebumbs cascaded over him at the velvet chuckle of the alpha, unbothered by his frustration before softly trailing down, savouring every mark as if it had been the first one he'd left behind on Kazutora's skin. "if you continue in this pace, I might just fall asleep" his mockery sounded more like a breathless plea than what it had been intended to be. He closed his eyes unable to meet the most certainly smirking man.

"oh?" the grip on his upper legs tightened as he was spread further apart. the alpha's mouth suddenly abandoned his stomach for the inside of his thighs, making him jump. the moment his sinful teeth dragged alongside his sensitive flesh "w-wha-"

the breath got knocked out of him and he could feel the alpha's grin spread further against his skin. he wasn't even allowed to gather his bearings before the alpha clammed his lips on one particular spot and sucked "mhmph-" his back arched away from the ground like a bowstring as his quivering thighs remained in the steel grip of the alpha, who began to chuckle breathily before following up with a matching mark on the other thigh that left him gasping.

with horror he could feel wetness gathering. his first reaction was to clamp his thighs together, but Baji would not let him. it was as if his limbs were made out of mere sticks.

Baji was not playing fair.

there was nowhere to hide, he quickly came to realize.

every time his mouth ghosted over a sensitive spot, his fingers leaving imprints on his skin made him forget why he'd been so embarrassed to begin with. with a shuddering breath he relaxed back into the floor. it was almost frustrating the way fingers were touching him seemingly everywhere but where needed him to.

his own clumsy fingers trailed down but were quickly brushed away. "don't spoil my fun"

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself at my expense but my patience is runn-inghhh"

elictricity zapped through his whole body with a shrill cry when Baji's fingers finally thumbed over the nub where all of his nerve endings were conjoined. his body could not decide whether to shy away or rock into the movement and he was left to flounder between both as steam filling his ears. he could feel the cocky smirk of the alpha against his skin "is that better?"

"shut up." he said embarrassed beyond belief- his body jumped again when the alpha repeated the movement before his fingers massaged between his drenched folds. a gasp left his lips. the strokes picked up in pace and Kazutora was defenseless to the onslaught of sensation. if he hadn't been wet before, he was positively soiling everything underneath them now.

He couldn't even remember what he had wanted to say as the pleasure sharpened, making him quiver as he bit down on his lip. "is it okay if I-"

"yes" he couldn't even feel embarrassed for his desperation.

with one careful movement, Baji dipped one finger inside, "gods-" forgoing any further teasing and Kazutora's eyes shut closed so fast as the heat of it had him floundering between up and down as a tidal wave of lust hit him full force. His finger was so long, so warm "mhm-" he remained breathless, wondering if the alpha had used his fire inclination to deepen the sensation. but he could feel Baji massaging his hip. he opened his eyes, his gaze meeting the concerned rusty red of his husband's and all those of purposeful doings left his mindscape.

"we can stop"

"don't you dare. I was just-" he took another breath, weighing the pros and cons about being honest. "surprised.."

"surprised about what?"

"…y-your fingers" He did not want to sacrifice his pride but if Baji actually stopped, he might cry and that would be far more embarrasing, he averted his gaze. "s'long.." he was not going to voice the other thought. he had a feeling that the alpha would feel inspired and actually set him on fire.

"oh." the alpha didn't say anything more to his relief. slowly, he began to experimentally thrust the digit inside and Kazutora slapped his hand over his mouth from making too loud noises as the digit scraped along his inner walls.

he almost choked when Baji suddenly took one of his nipples into his hot mouth, his whole body going ramrod straight at the unexpected touch. he didn't know what to do with himself when his tongue licked over it before sucking- "oh gods-"

Baji really was out to get him he thought when he began the same ministrations on the other. He let out a silent scream when one of his canines brushed over it, his hips bucking up with the sensation. the alpha was actively trying to kill him "K-Keisuke, a-another fi-nnngh"

He didn't have to say more for the alpha to insert another finger and fuck, shit. the stretch made him let out a breathless keen, he felt so full. If they continued like this Kazutora might die.

Baji took his chin so they were face to face. Kazutora was too far out of it to recognize the worrying gaze his husband was giving him. Instead, Kazutora used the opportunity of their closeness to connect their lips in a sloppy kiss because that seemed like the best idea he'd thought of so far.

and gods, was it a good idea.

Not one to waste an opportunity Baji quickly took over and cupped his cheeks to tilt the omega's head into a better angle making him sigh with satisfaction. With the shift Kazutora's body was forced into movement as well and he let out an obscene moan into Baji's mouth as the alpha's fingers grazed something inside of him just perfectly.

He was left reeling for air when the alpha's fingers slipped back out again and let out a protesting whine he'd deny making days later. He looked at the man in disbelief and betrayal as the alpha smiled at him, with all of his lethal teeth showing, not breaking eye-contact as he took his slickspilled fingers towards his own lips, licking them clean. a shiver rocked him down to a puddle on the floor. He could do nothing but gape at what he was seeing, his stomach squeezed together strangely.

He had been taught that anything that came out of an omega was nasty and a show of their inability to control themselves "y-you- that's dirt-" he didn't even get to finish, before Baji interruted him "you should have a taste, tora- you look parched"

the alpha kissed him not a moment later. his eyes fluttered close- kisses were nice he thought pleasantly and then the alpha deepened the kiss and he thought kisses were the greatest thing he'd ever been introduced to and why had he not thought of spending his time like this earlier as their tongues interlocked and all thoughts together abandones his body. Kazutora had never tasted himself, let alone on the tongue of another person. He could not even tell if he'd liked the taste or not, but the fire it lit in the deepest parts seemed to have found an answer much earlier.

Almost desperately his hips began to move against Baji's fingers, trying to keep up with his vigirous thrusts, not willing to even break the kiss for a moment as the alpha hit that heavenly spot dead on. He choked against Baji's lips when the alpha hit it again.

"got'cha" He could feel how his lips curled into a grin, the alpha seemed to have found the reaction he'd been looking for. and now that he'd found it, his husband was out for blood. for his no less.

the fire in his gut stroked to new heights under his husband's skillful and too precise fingers. He cursed once more. Worse even, his fingers seemed to pick up in pace and Kazutora almost clawed at the wooden planks underneath him. Kazutora just continued babbling, his mind lost to pleasure-

He was suddenly pushed up as their lips crashed together in another bruising kiss, Baji's tongue invading him like he was systematically neutralizing all of the omega's defenses.

He felt lightheaded by the time Baji broke off from him, heaving one breath after the other. He thought he could finally take a proper breath when another finger pushed inside. "Nngh!" he moaned into the next kiss.

"good?"

"..y-yeah good" Kazutora hoarsely replied no longer fighting the alpha's continuous need to touch base with him, his head felt like it was about to float out of the physical matter holding it.

and with every move and graze along his walls it did, his mind became hazier the more of the divine scent invaded his nose. it was intoxicating. he could feel himself nearing the edge when Baji thumbed over the oversensitive nub. his eyes snapped open with alarm "w-wait"

the touch immediately stopped and Kazutora didn't know whether to be relieved or utterly dismayed, either way, he was ready to shed a tear.

"did I hurt you?" Baji's alarm was strangely sweet, he felt kind of bad for what he was about to do.

with one quick movement, he flipped them over. Baji's back hit the floor, Kazutora straddling him before he could take back control. the alpha stared up at him with wide eyes. he couldn't help it- a coy smile stretched on Kazutora's lips at the dumbfounded expression on his face "no, not at all" his fingers trailed down to his chest. "don't you think it's unfair that only I am unclothed?"

slowly, he opened the buttons of the northerner's shirt. he could see his adam's apple bobbing with his movement. "hm?" he slithered further down. finally reaching for his actual goal as he opened the alpha's breeches for better access. He could hear the sharp intake of breath, but when he looked at the alpha he was surprised to see how dilated his pupils were, the tongue unconsciously swiping over the alpha's lips that made his own stomach flutter.

with no further resistance from the alpha he helped him out of his constricting garment. he swallowed when he finally could catch a proper glimpse at what he'd accidentally brushed against on the ship. somehow, he had yet to feel any shame for his current actions. maybe it was because this was the first time he'd had no issue being so bold and brazen. maybe it was his mind still floating inside his head without proper care for decorum

at first he only wanted to graze it, but the sharp intake of breath from the alpha had him drunk on a high he couldn't get enough of. he licked his lips unconsciously as he wrapped his head around the alpha's cock. it was hot to the touch was his first thought. it was bigger than he thought was his second, his hand barely able to circle it. it was throbbing against his palm, he could feel the veins underneath his fingertips, making both of them shudder with the touch. he could feel himself pulsating at the mere thought of it. his third was as shameless as it came- how filling it would be to have it inside of him.

eagerly, he went to hold it properly, it was so slippery already, his mouth watering at the thought wether it would taste as good as the heady scent filling the room. his whole clenched at the thought. no, first he needed it inside of him. maybe he could ask Baji nicely, to consider the option later. he lifted himself of, leaving a glistening trail underneath him as he positioned himself right above the main prize about to slink down.

but then an iron grip stopped him.

Wild rusted red met hazy gold as the omega parted his lips in a mischievous smile, he'd wondered when the alpha would stop him once more. it felt like a game now. how Kazutora could pull before the alpha would try to reel back. "Baji~" he whined, but the alpha would have none of it as his eyes searched for something, his gaze darting over every corner of his face - "promise" he finally said, his decision made "promise, you'll tell me to stop, when you change your mind. I won't hold it against you"

"gods, are you serious right now?" he rolled his eyes at the alpha, considering if it was too late to try and rock his hips forward- but the death grip the alpha held on him would not let him. Kazutora let out another frustrated sigh at the action. "I won't continue unless you promise"

"for fucks sake- yes, Baji Keisuke I promise-hnnngh" his mocking tone was audibly cut short by an obscene moan and a string of curses, as Baji finally sinks into him, knocking the air out of his lungs. He could feel every inch as he clenched around him, holding tightly onto the alpha.

"good. because I'm going to ruin you"

Kazutora ate his words that night, alright, he thought absentmindedly, drawing circles on the alpha's shoulder. he sighed as Baji's chest rumbled with content. There was no need for words as they enjoyed each other's company for a while.

"..Keisuke?" he asked finally. when no answer came he frowned and looked over to see… him in deep slumber. He snorted "figures you'd fall asleep" after the day they'd had, it was no wonder. He, too was pretty sleepy, but they probably should not spent the night here. no exhaustion in the world was worth the kinks in his back tomorrow. He'd be sore for other reasons already. his cheeks colored at the thought. he peeked at the alpha to check if he had noticed Kazutora's embarrassment, but luckily the man was truly knocked out. He waited until the redness receded and only then did he try to shake him awake.

"Baji~" he whined poking the man's cheek, confident that he'd be able to dodge if he'd try to punch him again. though one part wondered if the alpha might cry if he actually managed to hit him by accident. it certainly had lookedd like it on the crows nest.

he laughed at the image. probaby not, he shouldn't bully the alpha too much. after he'd gone out of his way to celebrate his birthday with him and all, he mused. that was..

chilling thought crossed his mind, making his skin burst into goosebumbs.

Kazutora had never told Baji when his birthday was.