For the ages

by BL-lover23

The mouth of the tiger on his neck slowly dripped blood as the knife carved along. Something gently touched his cheek and his eyes immediately snapped up. He inhaled sharply, eyes widening. Gold met Rusty Red. (“You’ll come find me, right?”) Bajitora Omegaverse

10. Chapter 10: goodbyes

The forest just for us, you weren't there

The route I took, I forgot

I even became quite unsure of who I was

For you, I could pretend like I was happy when I was sad

For you, I could pretend like I was strong when I was hurt

I wish love was perfect as love itself, I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden

I grew a flower that can't be bloomed in a dream that can't come true

BTS - Fake Love (english translation)

Kazutora could not remember the last time he'd seen the outside world.

He blinked tiredly. They had been at it for days. Kazutora was pretty sure he couldn't feel his bottom half properly. He was bone-less so to speak.

Baji had refused to part from him even once. The best he got was a bath after much persuasion. (not without defiling every surface possible in the process, he could not lie and say he did not enjoy it, but he was pretty sure his favorite seat would have to be burned after this)

But who would have thought that Baji's ice and fire affinity would come in handy like this? While Kazutora was wrecking his brain on how to get water in the tub without calling for staff (and lose his dignity or the staff their head by his husband's incessant growling) said husband created an iceblock in the tub and then heated it with his fire affinity like he'd done it a thousand times before (which he probably had). Kazutora didn't know what it said about him that he'd never found the alpha more attractive than right then and there. And boy, did he let the alpha know it.

At one point he felt their bodies had fused together- when he was not inside of him-

actually scratch that… some part of the alpha was always inside of him, when he'd tired of his own cock, he'd use his fingers or his mouth to satisfy his needs. Which only seemed to consist of filling Kazutora up.

Whether Kazutora had trouble not choking through his sixth orgasm in an hour was of no importance to the alpha. He was on a mission to claim every piece of skin the omega had to offer. Both his thighs and neck were feasted on. The rest of his body was littered with smaller bites.

The main course indeed, he thought drily.

And Kazutora had felt like he was losing his mind. There could only be so many nerve endings left to be preserved in his head after the alpha had positively devoured him.

At least the worst of it was over.. the alpha was satiated for longer periods, the rut slowly filtering out of his body.

Yet he couldn't help but feel oddly pleased. He'd never experienced a heat and the alpha's rut was probably the closest he'd ever get to letting his own instincts go under and let somebody else take the lead.

Though it would probably be the last time as well, he bit his lip, guilt squirming in his gut. Kazutora's hand went to the nape of his neck. It was perplexing still, even as the alpha's mind was taken over by his instincts, he had not bitten him.

There had been moments when he'd thought the northerner would, his lips lingering over the area, his hot breath leaving goosebumps in their wake. Kazutora remembered, his own body had seized in terror, but then the alpha's lips had moved to a different area of his skin and his own mind would shut down with the sensation. However.. as he touched the scarred skin of his own doing he could not rid himself of the sorrow that encompassed him.

Had a piece of him hoped the alpha would place his mark on him? It was difficult to make sense of the juxtaposition of his psyche.

'I am not biting you' the words of their first night as a married couple rang in his head. was it perhaps the blatant rejection that he could not swallow? even when reduced to his base instincts the alpha had not thought him worthy of a mate. well, you're pretty worthless to keep around for long.

He shut his eyes waiting until the only thing he could hear was the steady breathing of the northerner's slumber. and only then did he open his eyes once more. Kazutora should not forget his place. His existence was temporary. He dreaded the conversation that would follow once the alpha was lucid again.

He could feel the arms around him tightening as a low rumbling vibrated against his back. his shoulders untensed as his muscles turned languid again. funny… he thought sleepily, he hadn't even noticed himself tensing up. Yet still, even as his eyelids grew heavier again, he hoped the sun would take its time bringing out a new day, just so he could stay right there a while longer, encircled by the warmth he'd craved it seemed his whole life without knowing. the ugly reality outside this chamber could remain a distant opponent, that had yet to reach him.

The next time he woke up, he felt emptier. Hollow, somehow.

His hand unconsciously patted for something, his eyes fell open as his head raised with a growing heartbeat. His mind was still hazy, blinking, he slowly pushed himself up to sit properly.

The blanket fell away and he noticed, he was wearing sleeping wear once more. he hadn't been wearing much of anything when he'd fallen asleep in Baji's arms-

His eyes swept over the whole room, wide awake now. there was no one here save for him, the curtains had been drawn slightly, but the window was still partially opened to let some much-needed air in.

There was no sign of Baji.

Something split inside his chest he had not known could break. A lump formed in his throat as he scrambled to get out of bed in search of him. He'd probably left to the other room to freshen up.

He cursed as his feet made contact with the ground below, his knees shaking like that of a newborn calf. Fucking hell-

He attempted to straighten, which came with instantaneous regret, his muscles constricting in protest. tender spots revealed themselves in places he'd never imagined. The only reason he hadn't toppled over was due to the gods-sent night table.

a knock had his head snapping to the door.

"you're awake already" For a moment hope bubbled up in him, that Baji was there only belatedly realizing that the voice wasn't nearly deep enough as his eyes disappointedly met those of "..Sato-san"

"just Ryusei is fine"

Kazutora internally deflated, his face turning to indifference, ignoring the Beta's comment "What brings you here, Sato-san?"

"His grace sent me to check on you after his unexpected..rut. he wanted to call a physician at first, but I thought you would appreciate not having a stranger in your quarters"

'like you're any less a stranger to me', he was about to reply but bit back the words. the only thing he would gain from that was to be labeled as a petulant child. "As you can see, I'm fine" He didn't try to move as he stared at him. He didn't like the thought of letting the spell-caster witness any sign of vulnerability "so there is no need for that. You can take your leave"

The Beta held his hands up in surrender "Fine, fine. I won't press the matter if that is what you wish" Sato grabbed something from his bag and dropped it on the vanity, he felt like throwing up as he met his own eyes in the mirror. "I'll leave some herbal remedies here at least, if some discomfort should arise" The man bowed and left without any protest.

Kazutora dropped to the floor as soon as the sound of the Beta's footsteps was no more, breathing shakily.

Baji had left.

His lungs stuttered as he tried to rationalize what he'd woken up to. Baji had left.

He tried to take another breath, for his lungs were betraying him-

In and out.

In and out

In and out.

-as the crushing worthlessness found a home in his chest. Why.. laughter bubbled inside of him, that sounded more hysterical than it could ever be joyful. Reality had caught him quite cruelly. Out of all the scenarios he'd thought of, the alpha abandoning him without so much as a word had not been one of them.

and how could it? no alpha just left their- an omega in such a vulnerable state hours after a rut or heat was shared. it was unheard of.

("Why do you continue to keep me company? It's not like we've known each other long enough to warrant this-"

"I want to."

"you want to..?"

" I'm not that great with words, but yeah.. I just want to")

Ahh… "I guess this means you don't want to anymore, right?" His voice echoed hollow in the empty room. Baji had his fill of him. He'd never thought he would dislike being proven right quite this much. but his hunch had been correct.

the alpha's infatuation had passed.

"You're pulling the mission ahead of schedule, but why? I thought you wanted to wait until the solstice" Chifuyu barely caught up to his commander, only aware of the changes because one of the soldiers let the news slip off-handedly.

"I changed my mind, we will leave at the end of the moon" The alpha said matter-of-factly, as if he'd simply changed his breakfast meal and not Chifuyu's painstakingly constructed timetable. the Beta was about to faint when he heard the date his Commander had planned. "that's less than two weeks away?!"

"You'll manage" Baji-san wouldn't meet his eyes as he continued his way back to his study. The only place he recently seemed to occupy. Since his rut had finished, he'd expected the alpha to revert to his normal self, but he was acting anything but. His eyes looked hollow and an air of defeat seemed to surround him. Even his scent, that was normally so fiery now was but a bitter shadow. It reminded him of the days after meeting the southern Omega.

Just like then, Chifuyu was more than just worried and he wasn't the only one. Those who were left in the training fields looked as uneasy as he felt. Baji-san didn't even bother to reprimand a trainee after he'd dropped his bow for the fourth time in a row.

He hesitated for a moment before speaking "Did you inform Kazutora-san? He must be pretty upset-" He stopped mid-sentence. the Commander had physically shrunk into himself as soon as Chifuyu had mentioned his wife's name. His previous concern turned over to full-fledged worry as he held his shoulder to stop him. He'd never seen the man quiet like this "..Baji-san, are you okay?"

"make sure he's well, yeah?" Baji shrugged his hand off and continued to head inside. It took a moment for Chifuyu to understand who the alpha was talking about.

"Uh- yea- yes, of course Baji-san" but what about you? he was about to say, but he knew better. Baji-san was not a man who appreciated being fretted over.

He wondered whether he should mention his previous quarrel with Kazutora-san. No, burdening him with this, would not be right of him. seeing this husk of the commander he would lay his life down for was grappling enough.

"Thank you, Chifuyu" he watched as the alpha's back grew smaller, unable to say a word. Why had Baji-san's words sounded so final?

Even later in the day, those words chilled him to the bone. "Baji-san is acting weird, don't you think?" Chifuyu bit his thumb as he lay on his bare stomach on the unmade bed, a quilt covering his lower half.

"He's been acting bizarre since you guys came back, Chifuyu" The other Beta's back was turned to him as he sat by the edge of the bed, buttoning his shirt back up.

"weirder then" he insisted. "now that his rut has passed, I expected everything to go back to… before"

"Meaning what? shirking his duties so he could spend time with his wife?"

"He wasn't shirking his duties off! I offered to do them. And that's not the point!" he glared at the back of the Ryusei's head. "I don't know if you failed to notice, but I haven't seen them together at all since"

"Oh? A lover's quarrel? How intriguing" Ryusei didn't take the matter as seriously as he should. Chifuyu hit him with a throw pillow. "This is not a joke- Baji-san is really affected by this!"

"My cute little Lieutenant thinking of another man after he just shared a bed with me- Imagine how this affects me-" Ryusei turned and leaned over him, his breath tickling his nape and "Shut up, Ryusei!" Chifuyu shoved him away red-faced.

The other laughed good-naturedly, all too used to the blonde's agitation in regards to him. "Yes, yes I know better than to get between you and your Commander~" he evaded the other pillow thrown at his head.

"Stop making it sound like some disgusting love affair!" Chifuyu sounded scandalized which made it all the more entertaining, even if his next words weren't "I'm worried about him, I don't know if rushing the expedition is a good idea the way things are. Maybe I should talk to him or Kazutora-san-"

"I don't think that is a good idea, Sweetheart. After your last interaction, the duchess will not take kindly to whatever you have to say concerning any issue between him and his husband" Ryusei tried to reel him back. Knowing that the duchess at one point in time had successfully managed to stab their Commander of all people had been quite the revelation. What was more shocking though, was Chifuyu's tight-lippedness on the matter.

He didn't doubt the duchess's capabilities. He knew the omega was trouble the moment they'd met. The seals on his wrist had only proven his stance. No one received mana-canceling seals out of pure whim. And the strength of those seals was anything but a joke.

They were only used on the highest of criminals.

His crime, whatever it was- must have been severe for nobody to even know about it. He stared at Chifuyu. Or should he say talk?

The Blonde wasn't one to keep secrets but as soon Ryusei had even tried to dig about those seals he ordered him to never ask about it again with an expression so insistent and final that it had left him stumped.

But the dowager duchess's warm and welcoming attitude towards the new addition to her family had thrown him for a loop, making him wonder if he was reading too much into it.

But the nothingness in the omega's eyes from last time had confirmed his initial assessment. Hanemiya Kazutora was dangerous and he was quite a few leagues too high for his sweet, naive Lieutenant to handle, considering even the omega's own husband struggled with it. the southern omega would have no trouble making his previous threat reality if Chifuyu agitated him enough. That he was sure of.

"I didn't mean to make it sound like there was something wrong with Kazutora-san-" though there definitely was, but Chifuyu wasn't going to say that. He'd learned from his previous blunder.

"He won't care for your intentions. Can you blame him? If you'd come to a foreign district and everyone turned you into a gossip sheet wherever you go?"

"All the more reason to speak to him. I have to apologize for my remarks" For someone fond of books and literature his vocabulary was still lacking, Chifuyu admonished himself.

"I know you mean well, but I don't think he'll appreciate the kindness of your intentions"

"Well, it's even worse to act like it didn't happen at all. I have to own up to my mistake"

"My righteous knight in shining armor" Ryusei swooned, relenting. He knew Chifuyu, once he made up his mind, was not one to be persuaded differently "So.. since I'm leaving earlier than intended, would you like a souvenir?"

"Not thanks, I still haven't gotten out the stains from your last shitty present" Ryusei burst out into laughter at the reminder of his purple delight.

He brushed through the pages of the new celestial book he'd discovered in the library. But even the excitement for it couldn't help Kazutpra's mind from circling back to the alpha-shaped ache in his chest.

He didn't even know why he was reacting so negatively to the situation. His body acted like he was grieving someone he'd known his whole life and beyond instead of the convenience of a distraction that the alpha had provided him with.

A distraction that had turned into a liability he had failed to take note of-

Just as his mind began its spiel the sound of voices brought him back to attention. He stood up to leave when he noticed the blonde Beta enter the hall and his mood soured further. He did not have the energy to entertain a conversation with him.

He turned towards the opposite direction of to take the other exit that led from the library into the gardens.

"Ah Kazutora-san, good that I found you here"

Kazutora tried not to make a face, could this idiot not take a hint? He prayed for patience, he knew he did not have as the blonde jogged up to him. "Whatever it is you want, make it quick Lieutenant. I'm not in the mood for false pleasantries"

"that's perfect for me. I just wanted to apologize for-"

"Save it. I couldn't care less about relieving your guilty conscience" he said tonelessly. the Beta was definitely the type that could not have peace of mind if he could be perceived as anything but a good person.

"I'm not doing this because I feel guilty, although I do feel regretful. that is not why I am here. I hurt your feelings-" He scoffed at his audacity as if Kazutora spent his day wallowing about what some run of the mill- lapd-dog Lieutenant had to say about him. "and I had no right to even say anything about your.."

"issues might be the word you're looking for" Kazutora sneered after the Beta struggled to find the right words. Watching him squirm had been entertaining for a mere moment before he was as quickly growing bored of it. whatever, It was only a matter of time before Matsuno would storm off again, feeling justified in his previous assessment of Kazutora after he'd blown the Beta off so rudely. He hoped it would happen sooner rather than later.

"yeah, I guess I deserve that" but oddly enough, the hardened gaze, that he'd seen last in the townhouse when the King had payed him a visit, returned.

Kazutora's eyes raised to his eyebrows when the Lieutenant bowed in a 90-degree position"I am not asking for your forgiveness but you're part of the north now so that means you're pack. I apologize for my poor conduct. Rest assured it won't happen again ..your grace" he tacked on at the end.

"so what? Is this some oath about how you'll nobly lay your life down for me?" he mocked, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Of course"

"then go die" he intoned in the same voice one were to use to tell him to have a pleasant day.

"No" The Beta's gaze remained steel and iron as he straightened. "I said I'd lay down my life for you. not that I'd take orders from you. Only Baji-san has that privilege"

For a moment he was reminded of the blonde's contorted face of fury as he'd gone for his sword right after Kazutora had confessed to stabbing his superior. At how just as quickly he'd dropped his hold on the sheath after the alpha had commanded him to do so.

Bitterly, he wondered what that certainty of devotion was like. To be treasured so dearly by comrades, they would not question your authority. It pissed him off.

"Oh, what a shame. I was excited to see if you'd bleed the same color as him" he replied with faux disappointment, watching with satisfaction as the Beta's knuckles turned white at the reminder, shaking in the tight grip he was holding it in. Maybe now that his Baji-san was not here to reign him in, he would go for the strike. "I don't understand you at all, Kazutora-san"

how disappointing, the Beta did not even go for his sheath this time. "I did not ask you to" he dismissed.

"..you're so desperate to make the people around you despise you, so you can validate the warped notion of reality you created-" Chifuyu only stopped when Omega began to tremble. For a horrifying moment, he thought, he'd brought Kazurora-san to tears only for laughter to reach his ears as the omega doubled over in his stupor.

Was he making fun of him..? Chifuyu was too stunned to utter another word as the omega righted himself with a giggle. "Oh my, Lieutenant~ you must have thought about me quite a bit. I'm curious, do you make it a habit to obsess over the spouse of your superior or am I just special?"

"what- no!-" horror painted his face at the mere insulation.

"How sly, to play the character of a loyal dog to not become suspicious and here you had me fooled it was my husband you were infatuated with~"

"that's not-"

"not what? appropriate? I must agree, who knows what unfavorable rumor might follow an esteemed Lieutenant much like yourself if the gossiping staff members caught wind of such a rumor?"

"Stop it! You're twisting my words!-"

"Am I? After all, what other reason could one have to preoccupy their mind with the property of his commander? Let's ask one of the maids right now-"

"Enough!"

Kazutora acted fake-surprised at his outburst before a devious smile appeared on his face. Whatever just happened, Chifuyu distantly realized he'd just played right into the duchess's hands. "Don't worry, Lieutenant. I will keep your dirty little secret between us. Was that all?"

he didn't wait for the Beta to speak again and turned away "no? I guess, I should leave before anybody sees us together. You should use the time to get that flustered expression of your face"

Kazutora's amusement slipped of his face now that the show was over. as he reached the exit he turned to the side and met the awaiting gaze of his fellow Southerner. He'd wondered why the taller man had not intervened earlier "Mercy, your grace~. These type of battles are not his forte" the Beta smiled amused, his eyes glinting.

Oh, so he wanted to see how far, Kazutora was willing to go. He rolled his eyes internally. He could play that game. "I don't know what you speak of, Sato-san" he smiled pleasantly and walked off.

"Unbelievable.." Chifuyu pressed his forehead on the wall to cool off, still brimming with frustration as Ryusei sauntered over to him.

the blonde was sure of it. Whatever had caused Baji's concerning behavior… was a hundred percent Kazutora-san's fault. Who knew what that vindictive personality of his did to get Baji-san this messed up if this is what he did to Chifuyu after a conversation that lasted not even five minutes.

"That was hard to watch."

"Shut the fuck up Ryusei" he tried to stave off the oncoming migraine, futilely.

"It's not your fault, 'fuyu~ You had the misfortune to go up against someone who has honed that skill for more than a decade. You never stood a chance, I'm afraid"

"Whatever skill you speak, I want no part in it" he turned his face away from the wall.

"I know you prefer to fight battles of strength-" Suddenly, the southerner's face lit up and Chifuyu knew whatever would come out of his mouth, Chifuyu would pay the price for. Last time Ryusei had made a face like this, Chifuyu found himself cross-dressing as a prostitute, because 'you are the most petite one, 'fuyu. Trust me' as if Chifuyu couldn't bench press him! "Maybe that is what you should do~"

"..what?"

"teach him the proper use of mana"

"Who says he doesn't know it already and what use does he have for it? With the seals of the crown, he won't be able to use the knowledge anyway"

"How could he not be a novice? He scrounged through the whole library to research. With the war, he probably never had a chance to learn the arts of affinity and the like. it must be quite difficult to learn by theory only and what better teacher than you?" Chifuyu rubbed his chin in contemplation, not noticing the deceitful expression of glee on the other's face that spoke of future trouble for him. It didn't sound too bad… but he didn't know whether he could stomach spending more time with Kazutora without a mediator. well, maybe he could ask Cho..

"I guess it wouldn't hurt…" and maybe they could call a truce to whatever battle he'd unwillingly taken part in with the scrappy omega.

Perhaps it was resentment he felt.

The distraction the alpha had provided had staved off any thoughts that haunted him all his life. But now that it was gone, his inner thoughts had returned with a vengeance. It was frustrating to all hell. He could feel the anger bubbling in his guts. that fucking annoyance of a lap dog, Kazutora knew exactly what the Beta thought of him. or should he say both?

At least Sato-san seemed to have functioning brain cells and left him alone, but the Lieutenant had it coming. '-you make the people around you despise you, so you can validate the warped notion of reality you created'

He scoffed, his blood boiling just thinking about it. what warped notion of reality did the piece of shit speak of? He did not make the other gossip about him. He had done that all by himself, Kazutora hadn't even lifted a finger for it. But when did he ever have to do anything to be disliked?

And fuck, he didn't ask to be here, he didn't ask for any of it, so why…

Why was it he who had to feel terrible about it?

Why was it him that had to be the bad guy?

Why wasn't he ever good enough to be something else in the shitty narrative?

'Is it so difficult to believe I hold affection for you?' the memory mocked him. The cup that had previously been on the tea table shattered against the wall. He breathed heavily as he looked at the mess he'd made, his jaw clenching painfully to keep the scream in.

It wasn't fair, he wished Baji hadn't ever befriended the crown prince, because then Kazutora's punishment could have been the proper kind and he'd never been brought to this place at all. He hated it here! He couldn't believe he'd been upset about his unclaimed neck, hah!

He was glad it never came to it. what mess he had avoided. Rationality would have been all but impossible if he'd been under the influence of a bond.

the creaking of a door alerted him, his gaze darting towards the closet. like he needed more things to be fuming about. He stomped towards the door of the closet, pissed at himself for even leaving it open. just as he was about to slam it shut, his gaze landed on… nothing.

He took a deep breath, bracing himself for the inevitable as he opened the door further. One-half of the closet had been completely emptied, deserted.

all of the alpha's things were gone.

.

.

.

.

He laughed. the Bastard had waited for Kazutora to vacate the premises to come in and get all of his belongings. was his presence revolting the alpha to feel the need to act like a thief in his own home?

he didn't notice as his laughter stuttered into something more harrowing- No, he refused to give him that gratification, holding his hands to his face and forcing himself to breathe through the sting in his eyes as he crouched to the floor, hitting his chest. don't you dare, he clung to the last shreds of his pride as he took another breath.

In and out.

In and out.

He clenched his fists. Kazutora would rather rot in a cell in Central with the rats than endure this farce any longer. At least the coldness that the stone floor provided, he knew like the back of his hand.

For a moment he wished, he could go back. to the moment he'd not yet encountered the alpha. If he'd been just a second quicker with the dagger on his throat, he'd have done everyone a favor. Then his corpse would be rotting in that god-forsaken office next to the sins he committed as he'd originally intended.

He couldn't stand it. the ugly feeling that would just not rest. He looked at his hand, at the damning ring still there, mocking him.

it was a fever dream, wasn't it? the ones that had plagued him in his childhood. or had it been a ploy… these people were not his, and this place was not his own. what deceit had he been punished with? what game had he participated in without realizing it? in here he was the parasite they all wanted to get rid of.

'Mikey'll come around eventually. you know him, the contractual obligations were overdramatic, to begin with.'

every last one of them had been quite clear. just because Kazutora had shut his ears to reality did not make it any less true.

He ripped the ring off his finger and wanted to throw it to the spot on the wall where the cup had already met its fate- when he hesitated just before it could leave his grip. his stomach squirmed.

…if

if he discarded this ring, his access to the observatory would be gone with it. and that should be fine, right? make it a clean cut. Yet..

A selfish part of him could not part from the one space that belonged to only him. it isn't it isn't it isn't right, he did not doubt that sooner or later that would be taken from him as well, as the alpha seemed to have no issue treating him like he stopped existing since he'd made his decision.

Once more, he just wished to do them both the favor and fulfill that wish. he let out a string of curses in frustration. His fingernails digging into the marred flesh of his neck. Fuck Baji Keisuke for forcing him to live.

Even if he tried to pick up anything now to draw his own blood, his body would refuse him. 'drop the fucking knife' he'd said and Kazutora's body sang to heed his command. If he'd known it had been a command back then, that his omega had refused to resist, he would have never let it come to this. Whatever this had ended up to be-

His eyes blazed towards the door. It was of no matter. He'd underestimated the alpha and the power he held over Kazutora's senses. He refused to let him just get away with it. call him vindictive-

but why should Kazutora be the only one to suffer?

He stomped out of his room and towards the direction of the office. He wanted for nothing more than to punch the man right in the face. His fist balled around the ring, knowing that he could not make that a reality.

Even after all of fifteen minutes of walking, he was still steaming with anger. Without knocking he opened the door to the man's study almost off its hinges.

"We need to speak" he said with finality, booking no argument. His eyes vehemently remained locked to the indigo-color of the wall behind the man he'd addressed. He refused to give him any further satisfaction.

He'd probably already had a laugh with his Lieutenant at how easily Kazutora had folded to his bidding. "I'll make it quick, you must certainly have a lot of preparations to make for your impending expedition and I wouldn't want to occupy too much of your time" he spit through clenched teeth. The alpha hadn't even bothered to inform him of it. but he shouldn't be surprised after-

"you shouldn't be here" His eyes gazed at Kazutora for just a moment. But it was all that he needed. the faint marks on the omega's skin were still visible. what he had done to the omega, how he had mauled him - who knows, what else he had done.

It was all fuzzy, only small instances, that came to him from the dimly lit room. He remembered him crying, apologizing to Baji. He'd been upset-

I- I'm sorry, I-

w-wait

p-please

No

No. He had said no. And Baji had ignored his plea. He felt sick to his stomach. Kazutora'd apologized just like he had done in his nightmares, just like he had now done to Baji. fitting, you're now one of them as well, aren't you

He physically recoiled, he shouldn't be anywhere near Kazutora again. He could see the omega physically shrink into himself as the words left his lips. Even his voice had become a source of fear to Kazutora. Baji wanted to stab a fucking knife through his stomach for doing that to him.

"..I know" Kazutora fiddled with his hands, pressing and pulling at the skin of his palms. Baji's heart sank at the naked skin of his ring finger. but what had he expected? He had no right to be mournful about it. It was not him but Kazutora, who shouldn't be forced to occupy the same room as him after what Baji had done to him.

He closed his eyes to his new reality, how he'd ruined everything he held dear in a matter of days due to his own shortcoming of controlling his feralty. Those old folks had been right when they had suggested to his mother he'd be put down for it.

"but I'd rather end this with words" Kazutora prayed the other had not noticed the hitch in his breath or at least had enough decency left to not comment on it.

"don't force yourself.. see it as done" Baji replied softly.

"..great, perfect." he said hoarsely. The quickness the alpha displayed to be rid of him had his stomach contorting, why did he think that this alpha would be different from the rest? He hastily blinked away the tears threatening to cascade down his cheeks and looked at the ceiling, trying to get a grip. He'd rather die than let him be a witness.

"I'm so sorry" For the first time Baji sounded as devastated as he felt. How pointless. He breathed shakily. At least he had enough decorum to apologize for playing him for a fool. But did Kazutora have any room to speak? the alpha didn't need to justify the reason for being sick of him.

He bit his lip. He had always known he was incapable of being liked let alone l- he laughed, what a foolish notion "I'm sorry, too" for falling for it.

Baji's sudden recoil had him jump up as well and forced him to look right at him. He wanted to scream- the alpha's bloodshot eyes darted from Kazutora's clenched hands to his neck, like he was expecting him to hold a weapon of some kind. had he expected an assassination attempt? Kazutora scoffed. this is what he should have done, he thought scornfully.

But at least like his vindictiveness was somewhat satisfied. he could see that the alpha wasn't faring that well either. Probably his northern honor eating at his conscience for going too far. Good. He hoped, that the alpha was experiencing at least a sliver of what he had made Kazutora feel.

He could not delude himself any further in empty fantasies. dreams were for fools, and Kazutora had played the fool for long enough. On to business then, "since we're under the crown's order, we still have to remain in the same housing for now, but I will make sure to keep contact to a minimum until the crown dissolves the contract for you" How quickly those weeks he'd spent in the man's company were summed in a few, clinical words.

Baji nodded robotically as if he hadn't heard him at all. There was only so much tolerance the alpha had for omegas that did not strike his fancy (as so many people had already pointed out to him) and his expiration date had long since passed.

He turned around to depart and relieve the man of his presence, but the alpha held his wrist before letting go like he'd been burned. he must find Kazutora quite repulsing indeed " Promise me something-" Kazutora's brows scrunched together, a flicker of foolish, foolish hope rising-

"Promise me, you won't do anything that could bring you harm" before it immediately crashed down again. "promise me, Kazutora"

Kazutora turned away with a wry laugh and opened the door. In the end, the only thing worse than a northerner was their honor-bound conscience "Unfortunately, I am not fond of broken promises" and left.

it had been nice while it lasted, he guessed, wandering back to thei- his chambers, they were solely his now, weren't they?

He was greeted by the mess on the floor, he'd left behind. he walked past it. Like a puppet whose strings had been severed, he lay sideways on the bedding, forgoing slipping into his nightly wear or the blanket underneath him.

Only then, did he give attention to the painful sensation spreading through his chest as the first of many tears trailed down his cheek. He did not make a sound, for he knew better than to alert anyone of his weaknesses.

He curled up into himself, tightly holding on to the glimmering sapphire and obsidian as the tremors silently wrecked his body, wishing for the Wanderer to take pity on him and free him from this mortal skin as he had done so many times before.

But just like all his previous pleas, this prayer too went unanswered.

Chifuyu had not seen Kazutora-san since their encounter in the library. And even as he asked staff members, they all told him the same thing, the duchess wanted to remain in his quarters and didn't want to be disturbed, leaving only sporadically in the early dawn for a short time before returning.

Baji-san had turned for the worse as well, if that was even possible. the alpha had never been good at pretending or lying for that matter. Stealth was not his strong suit. That's why he seemed to follow his wife's example in avoidance instead and, too began to avoid any interaction or dismiss the conversation after a few detached words. He knew couples tended to pick up the traits of their significant other, but this was not what he imagined..

The platoon was bound to leave the next day for the expedition to the Borderlands. He couldn't let his commander go in good conscience if he continued to deteriorate in this manner.

The Borderlands were not to be taken lightly and fighting against those beings demanded utmost attention. He'd hoped Baji-san would come with the matter to him when he was ready, but time was running out. More drastic measures were in order.

He flung the doors to the stables open, the place his commander had chosen to hide in for the day. Goki was a good partner in crime, he'd give him that.

Baji-san almost jumped out of his skin at his loud entrance "fuck, what possessed you to announce yourself like an assassin.."

Chifuyu chose to go for the more delicate route first. this was his commander after all. and it was clear as day what the root of the -godfuckingdammit he needed better vocabulary - issue was "I haven't seen you and Kazutora-san for a while"

Baji-san flinched but remained quiet otherwise as he brushed his preening stallion. He didn't know what it was, but no matter what animal, they all became docile in his commander's presence. He had no doubt the alpha would be able to tame even the wildest beast without struggle.

No, what his commander seemed to struggle with was a different type of animal. And by his reaction alone, this would be far more difficult then he'd first presumed. he sighed, cutting straight through the chase "Baji-san, why do you act as if we'd placed him in a casket and buried him six feet under when I mention his name?"

and that was not even an exaggeration. His grief-stricken commander didn't speak for a long time and he almost gave up thinking he'd receive an answer at all until the alpha let out a shaky sigh-

"I fucked up" Chifuyu furrowed his brows. he strongly doubted that.

Oh, dear gods of the above- nay, of the beneath take mercy on his soul. Fuck up was too kind a word-

Baji-san might as well have sent him to an early grave! Chifuyu had it all wrong-

He held his face in his hands, not knowing where to even begin. If it had been any other unfortunate soul, he would have laughed in their face, if this would have been a novel he might have thrown it to the wall.

He had to gift Kazutora-san the biggest apology basket he could find. He thought back to what Baji had just revealed to him… Scratch that, two apology baskets.

He couldn't believe this mess. All of it could have been avoided so easily if Baji-san had been upfront with the problem… Oh man he needed a drink, he thought distantly. but one thing was for sure, Chifuyu did not believe for a second that "Kazutora-san fears you now?"

Baji-san nodded stiffly "Has he said so?"

"Does he strike you as a person to admit to it? Why would he confess such a thing to to his attacker" he glared.

that was sound logic, yet still "but-"

"I know what you try to convince me of. But it's done, alright? I screwed up, and now I have to live with it" The alpha falls miserably back on the straw with defeat, arm shadowing most of his forehead and eyes.

Yet Chifuyh did not relent. "Ask him at least- ask him why he said he will keep his distance from you" He had to put all his faith in the omega now, for Baji-san might just be a lost cause.

"I will do no such thing" Baji gave him a sharp look. The Beta couldn't possibly expect him to ask his victim to explain why he remained away from Baji.

"With all due respect, Baji-san. The only thing I heard so far, is you pushing him away and if I understand correctly, you started that days before your issue spiraled into this" Chifuyu gestured his hands towards the alpha. He was about to open his mouth, but his Lieutenant beat him to it.

"Can you really imagine a life where he no longer has a place in? Where you remain here, while he is there?" he gestured to the tower where a dim light still shone through. His throat ached at the reminder "The Baji Keisuke I know would never have stood for it"

the version of him that Chifuyu spoke of, had not yet taken advantage of his spouse, so guess they were both disappointed with what he had turned out to be. But he couldn't shake that small voice that wondered if he still could salvage this. He stomped the flickering hope out before it could fester, balling his fists. whatever he and Kazutora did have had been irreparably damaged by what he'd done.

Chifuyu sighed "… there is one thing I can't comprehend at at all, Baji-san. You speak of your instinct as something inherently evil, why?"

"Have you listened to what I just told you?" he asked, ready to actually hit the Beta over his head for still insisting as if a miracle would come, where it all was fixable. This was not the plot of one of his damned romance novels.

"Well, yeah and it sounds stupid. All you've mentioned about your feral tendencies so far is that they make you lose all sense and reason when it comes to him. but haven't they always been like that?"

Baji was gripping at his final straw with a vengeance to not punch him "yes.. that is why I tried to not expose him to it."

"we are speaking of the same thing, right? the instincts that gave us victories through countless battles?

the same instincts that had you run off to Kazutora-san the second we made landfall in the Southern Isles because your gut told you that you had to be by his side without even knowing it was him?

the instincts that had you climbing the mast of a ship in the middle of a storm to aid him in his very questionable endeavors?

the instincts that had you almost start a brawl with the current reigning monarch because he made your wife uncomfortable?"

"uncomfortable? That old fossil tried to poison him with expired notions-"

Chifuyu smiled, relieved. There was still some fire left in his Commander "when it comes to Kazutora-san, they never led you astray. so why do you doubt them so much now? has your regard towards him changed since we came back home?"

"of course not-"

"then why would your instinct? all you've ever done was with him in mind, whether it was to protect Kazutora-san from himself or indulge him. your instincts- your alpha, that bond you hold with him has gotten you this far, so why would it betray you now?"

He didn't get an answer, but Chifuyu could see the alpha was at least mulling his words over. He prayed the alpha would come to a conclusion quickly, before they departed the next day. while there was still time remaining to fix this.

afterward, it might just be too late.

He hated these stuck-up people.

He hated the shitty weather.

He hated this gloomy castle.

And most of all he hated-

Kazutora lay next to Zura's eye, his gaze upon the murkiness above as the same thoughts circled his mind. he'd wanted to watch the sky and distract himself for a bit, but with his recent luck it was to expected- the clouds had grown thick as cotton. there was nothing to see but the endless white void.. so much about seeing the edge of the universe. Talk about over-the-top advertisements. Did he mention, he hated the shitty weather?!

he sighed sitting up, his eyes falling on the small step.

I wanted to do it, that's it. was there a reason not to?

It had sounded so alluring then, the sweet illusion that the simple act of wanting alone could be enough. maybe if he hadn't let himself be entrapped so easily, the pain in his chest would not be as severe- the humiliating embarrassment of having a part of himself be known only to be thrown away not as paralyzing of an ache. and the man who'd so easily discarded him was probably long gone by now, off to that expedition the whole castle had been abuzz in preparations with, he thought bitterly.

he swallowed, throttling whatever memories from that night might spring forth now that he'd unwillingly opened that can of worms. He failed of course, as even the scent of pine that had long disappeared from these walls, too filled his senses. He stood up to leave, it had been a bad idea to come here.

A hesitant knock on the open door frame startled him back into reality. no one should be able to enter this place. owlishly, his tired eyes turned to the door to meet-

"..Baji?" He straightened " shouldn't you have left for-" he cleared his throat "has something happened?" He felt embarrassed by his inability to remain calm. He noted that the alpha did not make a motion to walk further in.

"no.. nothing like that. I thought of taking a walk.. and wondered if you'd… wanna come with?" his words were muffled into his fist by the end.

"Hm?" Kazutora took a moment to understand before his eyes widened from the unexpected invitation "uh- sure, I mean if that is fine with you?" he felt wrong-footed all over again. But now that his body once more was exposed to the devious scent of the alpha, all rationally had exited his body.

"I wouldn't have asked if I hadn't been" the alpha glared at the spot behind him. it did nothing to shake the uneasiness Kazutora was feeling.

"right.." he swallowed nervously, his gaze downward, following the alpha outside. They returned to an awkward silence, with Kazutora half a step behind Baji as they made it through the training fields with neither of them speaking. Kazutora thumb cradled over the long-since healed up burn on his arm, thinking back to the accident that had occurred. He wondered if his clumsiness that day had been what had broken the camel's back in the end.

Some stray soldiers were still packing but bowed in their direction as they passed them. Kazutora barely took note of them, oblivious to the whispers that followed them. though with one look of the alpha they all suddenly dispersed into different directions.

Kazutora lingered on what reason the alpha had for seeking him out. He'd thought they had found a middle ground to this awful situation, but maybe Baji had changed his mind. would he ask for the ring back, had he come to the observatory for that? Or maybe he found Kazutora living in the castle too much of a hassle altogether. would he be sent away now? It made sense by the time the alpha would return from his travels, he would not have to bother with him any longer.

It's not as if he wouldn't deserve it, he'd wished for it to happen, but somehow that thought terrified him more than anything else had so far.

Baji made them stop at the edge of the castle, where the woodsworth began. "I was recently made aware of something and if I don't ask, I'll think I will regret it for many years to come"

"Huh?" he blinked up at the alpha.

"You're not obligated to answer if you don't want to. after what I did to you, I couldn't fault you for fearing to be in my vicinit-" wait- what? it felt like the rug had been pulled beneath his feet.

"I don't- what?" Kazutora looked at him speechless, wondering- had he heard correctly?

"it wasn't fair to-" the alpha backtracked.

"I don't fear you, Baji. what the hell are you talking about? why would I fear you?" the notion alone felt ludicrous.

"you don't..?" Baji looked as if Kazutora hit him over with a brick. and for a moment he wished he had, because-"No! What the fuck gave you the idea-" he could barely keep the outrage out of his voice.

"but my rut- I attacked you. I commanded you and forced myself on you"

"says who?!" Kazutora's voice grew in volume. it felt like he was losing his mind. were they living in different realities?- what was the alpha even saying?!

"rationality!" Baji shouted back. Kazutora scoffed. that was big, coming from the most irrational man in all the districts! he felt like he was made out to be some fool yet again. the numbing feeling in his chest from the last weeks, he could feel as it evolved into something uglier. the monotone tone of his voice startled even himself "what rationale do you speak off? attacked- forced? are you implying I let you force me into participation?"

"you didn't let me. I gave you no choice with my commands-"

Kazutora's lips pursed together, his blood boiling. out of all people, for Baji to reduce him to a defenseless little marionette. he'd expected such behavior from the lesser alphas of the Isles. not from him, never from Baji. but still, he remained calm, if taunting "…I was choiceless now? What else? " after their first fight he'd thought-

he didn't know what he had thought. he was stupid to think the alpha could see him as an equal. he clearly wasn't.

"stop minimizing what I did-"

"but you seem to recall so much. In fact, you seem to know more about me than even I, so go on- tell me, your grace" his fists were shaking at the sheer audacity of the alpha in front of him. "in all these past weeks you've spent avoiding me like I was carrying some sort of disease that had you perish if you were in my presence for a moment too long. did it occur to you even once that I have a mind of my own separate from your inflated one?"

He should have felt relief but instead, he only felt the hot coil of anger consume him. In the end, he was nothing but a sorry little omega to him. It was Kazutora's own fault for thinking that Baji could see him for anything but.

The alpha had abandoned him in the bed they'd shared his rut in hours before without so much as a word. Even the clients in the red-light district of the Isles had shown more etiquette towards the prostitutes.

he breathed out- he'd spent every night spiraling into a pathetic ball of self-loathing for this?

He looked up at the still murky clouds above. the sky had remained unchanged as his own perception of reality seemed to crumble into pieces. gods, he fucking hated this weather. he felt like he'd fallen from a great height with no sight of seeing the ground beneath, so helpless and resigned to this limbo the alpha had forced him into.

Ahh… this wasn't worth being upset over, was it? He sighed with defeat, the anger replaced by something much emptier. "no Commander, I don't fear you, however disappointing your opinion of me seems to be"

Baji opened his mouth to say something, but Kazutora held up his hand weakly to cut him off, no energy left to continue this back and forth any longer. "..just don't."

Even now after he'd told the alpha to his face that he was not scared of him, there was still the lingering gleam of doubt in the northerner's eyes. nothing Kazutora could say would make him think differently. He was only an omega, after all. what was his opinion in the matter faced with that of the alpha's own.

"But I guess, you're partially correct. Between the both of us here, there is one who fears you to the very bone, it seems" he stared right into the alpha's lost, confused eyes. He deflated with even more disappointment. "but it is not me."

"Commander, we are ready to depart-" the sudden voice of one of Baji's many underlings cut through the fog that had built around them.

"I'll be there shortly-" irritation bled through the alpha's voice at the interruption.

"no need. we are finished with our conversation. safe travels, your grace" Kazutora curtsied half-heartedly and brushed past him with no more words.

The bitter taste of disappointment had yet to disappear from his tongue.

It had been more than a week since Baji and his platoon had left for their expedition by the time he could stomach thinking about the alpha without fury swallowing him.

Now he had trouble deciding, whether to feel relieved that Baji was absent or annoyance for being gone. His mind could not be made up on the subject that was Baji Keisuke and the mixed feelings that came with the man. and after a week had passed since their last conversation, he was ready to tear into him again.

It seemed a week of stewing about it, did nothing to lessen his anger or his disappointment. He had at least 50 insults ready to fly for the man's audacity alone. if anything, the alpha should be scared of him!

"Kazutora-san! You've been cooped up here for long enough, come with me. I'll show you something" Matsuno popped up in front of him, like the devil he did not ask for, and successfully startled him out of his thoughts.

"I was under the assumption that with our mutual dislike for one another, we had concluded to leave each other be? unless you are dying and giving me the satisfaction of witnessing it in person, you may take your leave"

"Nonsense, I don't dislike you. even if you have a trying personality - no offense."

"I do take offense!"

"you can continue to do so outside then" He doesn't get the chance to protest, the blonde drags him by the arm into the rather empty training grounds. He couldn't struggle out of his hold. Unlike his short stature, the Beta hid more strength than he'd initially presumed, he thought begrudgingly.

Usually, there were more knights here, and then he recalled that most of them were probably expediting the expedition.

Those still there don't fail to greet Chifuyu enthusiastically, before noting him and stiffly greeting him as well. If he didn't know better he'd think they were afraid. Chifuyu stopped in the middle of the fields. "Ryu told me you were interested in the books about magic-"

"Ryu huh?" he couldn't help the mocking tone. for a guy who vehemently insisted on his dislike for the pink-haired Mage, he sure was close to him. and maybe Kazutora was still bitter about the words the Beta had said about him.

"i- it's easier to use the short version" The Lieutenant held his arm in front of his face, in hopes of concealing his blushing face, but Kazutora had first-row seats to the spectacle, so there was no need.

"Sure, sure. if you say so.." he rolled his eyes.

"Anyway. where was I?.. I thought I could teach you some fundamentals. I know you can't access any mana because of the uh.. you know seals. but it wouldn't hurt, right.."

Kazutora went through several emotions in a matter of seconds. surprise at the fact, that the blonde made sure to remember such a trivial thing. then dumbfounded at the fact, that the Beta thought him a novice, considering his reputation, then he recalled it had been Sato who had put the blonde up to this and suddenly he understood, where the false assumption originated. He tried not to laugh at the other Beta's mischievous tactics to screw the blonde over.

the lieutenant looked so excited at the chance to show off, and who was he to destroy Sato's fruits of labor? He'd have something to laugh about later, as well. so it was a win for everyone but Matsuno, so he was he to pass the golden opportunity up.

"Sounds great! teach me all about it, Master~" he acted like he didn't notice the suspicious glance on the blond's face after his sudden switch-up in demeanor.

but even full of apprehension, the Lieutenant immediately went to business. "Mana is energy that comes in different shapes and forms of energy, that flows through us. In theory, every person has the innate ability to use it. But since it takes years to master, and only a few excel, most people never really bother with it, especially the common folk, which is kind of sad, that only the noble class has the option to curate their manipulation of it-"

the northerner clasped his cheek "Sorry I kind of digressed there. As you know there are several energy natures a person can be drawn to. Like Baji-san with his fire and me with Ice. though Ice is a subcategory- Ugh. I did it again" Kazutora hid his smile behind his fist. the tension slowly leaving his body. Matsuno would be a welcome distraction after the monotony of the last few days.

"No, no please continue" he felt like he was the teacher encouraging their pupil instead and shook his head. this was too funny. "the natures?"

the other coughed "Yes. the natures are categorized into several groups of creation and destruction. elemental nature, of course, is the most common that fits in both categories. the ancient nature of Healing, Celestial, Prophecy, Illusion- although that one is highly debated - and the forbidden nature of Darkness and Blood and other stuff... There are also a lot of combinations between the different natures, so there are a lot of subcategories, not to mention the different kinds of spell natures, but that's for another day"

Kazutora made sure to ooh and ahh at the right times to not get the Beta suspicious. the lesson was.. something "All of the regions in the kingdom have some certain affinity for a certain nature. As you can guess, the north mostly specializes in the Ice-Affinity. Baji-san is kind of an anomaly, he is pretty good at manipulating both natures, but he tends to stick with fire for some reason…"

"And the other regions?" He waved away. he was trying to distract himself from the alpha not begin a topic concerning him. "Uhh.. I'm pretty sure the second division has one of the ancient…" Kazutora tried not to snort. Trust the proud northerner not to care what goes around outside their turf. "Illusion!" no, but at least the Beta was in the right category, he coughed into his hand, to hide his snicker. "no… wait, Mitsuya-san uses Healing.. Healing! it's healing..right?"

"Ahhh.. I think I heard of the Legendary Healernamed the White Dragon in the War" he had to reassure him otherwise they might be here for a while.

"I shouldn't have started with the second, they are so far away from us.." the blonde scratched his head in embarrassment.

"In that case.. what about the fifth, they are right under the northlands"

"They have their pretentious Illusion Magic and Poison.. fits like a glove if you ask me" he's starting to think the Lieutenant was losing his credibility as an objective source of knowledge, raising an eyebrow at him. "Uhuh…"

"I think the sixth is a Mix of Earth and Water, with all of their mountains" wow.

"And the third?"

"Pah's place got to be Steel. That guy has a mean right hook" He was pretty sure the Beta was just placing the region's nature on the assumption of the people he'd seen fight from there. Thank god he was from the north itself, otherwise, he might have given the whole region a fire affinity because of his Commander. he swallowed down the bubbling emotion in his throat after circling back to the alpha. He pinched his nose, irritated at himself. "what about … Central!" yeah, that one. he hoped the Lieutenant would ignore the shift in his voice.

"The capital is like a metropolis for all the divisions, so there is loads of everything"

"makes sense" the words absentmindedly left his lips, not as enthusiastic anymore.

"Wait!" Kazutora almost jumped out of his skin at the Lieutenant's exclamation "…Yes?"

"What about your place? it's gotta be fire or air maybe water, since you're right where the sun hits most… it better not be that psychic-y poison shit" The last part was probably not meant for his ears.

"Well, the region used to specialize in Celestial Magic.. before the war."

"And now?"

"The Isles lost most of their able-bodied Mana-users" Kazutora explained half-heartedly. well, it wasn't a lie even if it wasn't much of the truth either. "Most of the others swore off of Magic as the war unfolded"

"That's rough.." the Beta looked down awkwardly, knowing he had a hand in the demise of Kazutora's people.

"It's fine we had it coming" Chfuyu's head snapped up in bewilderment. he was forgetting Kazutora had a hand in it too.

"now enough about the theory, how about a presentation?" Kazutora gave him an expectant look and lo and behold it worked, Chifuyu went into position almost instantly.

"Of course! It's not gonna be as cool as Baji-san's but" and in the blink of an eye the northerner had two long ice swords in his hands.. which was honestly impressive, most users took a bit to form their elemental magic, but here he was doing it like it was no effort at all. Kazutora thought if it weren't for his own shackles Matsuno might have been a formidable opponent to beat.

his oohs and aahs turned more genuine as the blonde made all sorts of weaponry, the ice hammers his personal favorite. Whack-a-mole had a whole new meaning suddenly. he should ask him if he could borrow those.

At the end of the day, Kazutora was ready to turn back inside when the other stopped him "Come eat with me in the barracks"

He was about to decline, but then curiosity got the better of him. This must have been the place his husband had chosen to frequent in order to avoid him… maybe it was spite as well. He had a feeling the alpha would not be happy about him visiting his underlings. "Sure, lead the way, Lieutenant"

Once arrived, the whole supper room grew quiet when they entered. It was almost comical, people had stopped mid-bite, frozen as they gaped at them, or more accurately him.

"W-we greet his grace, the duchess, Lord Kazutora" A swarming chorus flew at him, chairs screeching as people shoved each other to make room for him to walk through. "..Hello"

The lieutenant gave his subordinates a look of pure contempt "Don't bother him with your stinky faces"

Almost simultaneously a repeat of the first time began "We apologize for offending his grace, the duchess, Lord-"

"Shut up already!" Matsuno yelled before taking him to sit at the corner of the room, mumbling something about Baji-san having his head for this. He sighed loudly in defeat and then asked Kazutora what he'd like to have.

"uh.. whatever you're having. I'm not picky" that was a lie. he was in fact very picky, but he didn't want to make more of a fuss than he already had by being the typical fragile omega, that needed extra care, he thought bitterly. So he waited patiently for Chifuyu to get back with their dinner, mentally steeling himself to swallow down whatever it was going to be. it couldn't be as bad as other things he'd put into his mouth over the years.

He tried to act like he wasn't noticing everybody blatantly ogling him, either. not that it was helping his decaying mood. the Beta came back with two bowls of some kind of stew and two goblets filled with- "It's ale, I hope you don't mind, that's the only thing around here"

Kazutora wasn't much of a drinker, but this might be the perfect remedy for his current situation. He did not know why his own mind fixated on that so vehemently, but just the thought of fulfilling any of the stereotypes in front of these men pissed him off, too, it would just be more fodder for their superior to tell him 'see, I was not wrong about you, after all, can't even handle a drink.'

he slapped his hand on the table with forced enthusiasm "I don't mind at all, actually" and did the sensible thing and took a big gulp before holding eye contact with Matsuno, daring him to argue but the other remained skillfully silent.

The stew wasn't all too bad, all things considered - especially when he washed it down with the ale, which just seemed to taste better and better with every swig.

"maybe you should slow down a little.." he didn't understand what the Lieutenant's problem was, furrowing his eyebrows - he was just trying to enjoy his drink.

"relax a little or you'll get wrinkles, right uhhh.." he looked over to the closest table for approval where a tower of a man looked at him with a stoic expression "My name is Chou, your grace"

"Nice to meet'ya, Officer Chou. You look like you've been doing this job for a while"

"Yes, I've been in the Commander's division before Sato became the Lieutenant" Chou almost sight in relief when the duchess's attention went back to Chifuyu. "Sato? I thought you were the Lieutenant"

"I am. Ryusei was my predecessor"

"you stole your man's position?!" the whole room quietened with Kazutora's aghast outburst.

"wha- hah? h-he's not my anything-" Chifuyu could hear a snort which he did not appreciate. with a murderous look he looked at the others in warning before turning back to the inebriated omega he'd brought here. "and I didn't steal his position. He stepped down because… it doesn't matter-"

"Ahh… so that's why he addresses you with yer title so enthusiastically, I see~" the omega didn't see shit, what was he even saying. "you're takin' too much after your Commander" he said with a pat on his shoulder. Chifuyu took a moment to understand what the Omega was getting at and almost choked on his own spit, his whole body turning crimson in horrified embarrassment. Oh gods, he was sure of it, Baji-san would not let him or anyone else here see another day.

"I think you had a bit too much to drink, how about-"

"I'm fine, Li- Lieu. agh" his title was tongue-twister, how he'd managed to adress him by his rank before was beyond him now "..Chi-fuyuu, actually I think I need another fill" There were several goblets on their table suddenly coming from all directions. Kazutora blinked and then smiled at their hospitality "Thank you guys. Maybe you should be a bit more like the other officers here, Chifuyu" and began chugging the next cup. He didn't notice the others having a staring contest with their Lieutenant.

He was starting to feel warm. especially his cheeks were glowing. this was the first time he felt warm without Baji being the source of it. which reminded him-

"you think it'll take long for him to come back?" he frowned.

Chifuyu was surprised at the small tone the duchess had taken. the corners of his lips were downturned and it tugged on Chifuyu's heartstrings. he was reminded of Peke "I'm sure he'll be done swiftly. You won't have to miss him for much longer"

that seemed to be the wrong thing to say as the omega's face turns affronted "I'm not!"

Almost everybody heard his little outburst as they very unsubtly listened in on their conversation. "I don't miss him at all. Nuh-uh"

Chifuyu was beginning to find the blatant denial the duchess was sporting rather amusing. At first, he'd presumed the golden-eyed omega to be a stand-offish person coupled with the personality of an unhinged brat, who favored to remain in his own company when he wasn't purposefully disrupting his husband's work. But Chifuyu was coming to the quick realization that he'd been off by quite a bit. This was what Baji-san must have seen all along.

Hanemiya Kazutora was like a battered street cat used to fighting for his survival in the harshness of the outside world, where nobody ever showed him any mercy. after long consideration and recent poor attempts at speaking, Chifuyu had resolved to stop taking his flippant behavior personally and tried his best to adapt to his shifting moods instead. He thought he was doing alright so far.

after the fall-out the omega had with the Commander… he winced at the reminder. this might be the one time he'd disagree with Baji-san. the duchess was not someone who was easily brought to his knees. he still shuddered at how quickly he had stripped Chifuyu of all his defenses with a few pointed words.

still that didn't mean, what had transpired between duke and duchess had not left his mark. since the platoon had left, the omega had not ventured outside his own chambers even once and he had barely left it before already. And knowing how he'd isolated himself previously on the ship it was bound to have become a powder keg of disaster.

Now that Chifuyu had taken care in overseeing how he was faring in the absence of his husband he had been surprised to see him rather perceptive under the circumstances. Even now as the omega had turned more melancholic he had still enough bite in him to deny holding any affection for his mate. It was kind of adorable. Especially when the omega - unprompted might he note- began listing off everything he was not missing about the commander. It was fascinating.

"-don't miss his voice. I especially don't miss his pretty eyes-" he'd never heard the words pretty associated with Baji-san's eyes. Scary and menacing sure, but he guessed there was a first for everything.

"Uhuh" maybe the ale was not such a bad idea. Something settled in Chifuyu as he continued to listen.

the situation wasn't that hopeless after all.

April 3rd X1000

"did'ya hear? someone from the Main Family is in our year-"

"Eh? Doesn't the main family send their children to Central to study as per tradition?"

"I heard he sucked so bad, they kicked him out. that's why he's redoing his third year"

"you mean, he's older than us? how lame.."

"I heard he got kicked out because he killed one of the professors"

"…no way, right? A killer in the academy" the boy gulped "..that would be ridiculous, right Chifuyu?"

Chifuyu glanced away from his novel to see their unsure faces as they passed another classroom "I don't care. if he's strong then I'll just beat him"

"but he's older than us"

"And? doesn't mean I'm gonna respect him" They entered the class and Chifuyu closed his book. Most of the kids in their class were already seated. his friends soon followed taking one seat each. he watched out to see if there was anyone of note, but was disappointed to note only the usual kids until.. his eyebrow raised in skepticism- there hidden in the third row behind the only remaining empty seat sat a boy with a primly slicked ponytail and godly awful glasses, that screamed of an inept goody-two-shoes. Chifuyu sighed in disappointment, a killer my ass, he thought as he sat down in front of the boy.

the newcomer didn't even raise his head as he continued to scribble something on a paper. Chifuyu glanced at the clumsy dots of ink all over the paper and fingers of the boy. His writing was awful. "that's not how that word is written" The words leave his lips before he can think better of it.

"…who?" the boy's eyes snap to him and Chifuyu has to hold his breath at the intensity of his dark eyes like they were assessing his threat level- before they turn back to the last word on his paper in confusion.

"My name's Matsuno Chifuyu, we're classmates"

"Chifuyu?" he sounded the words out apprehensively, which left the blonde wrong-footed somehow, the attention unnerving.

"and tiger-" Chifuyu gets a grip of himself, shaking the uneasy feeling off, grunting" The word tiger, it's supposed to be written with this character" Before his mind can think to regret it, he takes the spare feather and dips it into the poorly abused inkblock of the other boy and corrects the strokes with his own.

the boy's eyes dart between him and the corrected version of the word, he'd written wrong several times on this one paper alone. the blonde's gaze sweeps over the paper for the first time and realizes that it's some sort of letter and the character was part of a name.. and by the contents of the letter..apologies all over, frantically written from the few words he could decipher- Chifuyu glanced away quickly, a heavy feeling in his chest. He had no right to pry, those words were not meant for him anyhow.

"Ah.. I see! Thank you, man" he was thrown off by the grateful tone of the older boy as the dark gaze brightened before he tried to clumsily follow Chifuyu's previous strokes. it was barely recognizable, but much more of an improvement than any of his earlier attempts. "you're a lifesaver!" the boy smiled at him crookedly.

what a dork, Chifuyu's eyes softened, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "not to offend you or anything but I thought by your looks, you'd be.." less academically challenged "..a pro in the academic front" he decided for in the end.

"I wish.. but I can't make my mother cry again, so I have to give it my all this time around" Chifuyu blinked. a mommy's boy, too? but somehow Chifuyu couldn't help but like the guy. "ah.. that word is wrong, too" he pointed to another character drily.

"Gah! That asshole Mikey said, that was how the word was written-" the boy bemoaned.

the class soon began and by the end of the first day of school, Chifuyu had all but forgotten about the new addition to their grade and was on his way back to the dormitories, mildly curious about who he would be bunking with. when a group of older guys blocked his path. by the looks of it they were at least in their fourth year. "You that Matsuno kid from Grand Brumal?"

"what's it to you?" Chifuyu looked them up and down with disinterest.

"I heard you been talking a lot of shit" Chifuyu rolled his eyes. "and? you want a taste or something?"

"We'll fucking kill you-"

He cracked his neck "how lame. a bunch of seniors ganging up on me" he kicked a pebble, removing his jacket and vest. he couldn't ruin the clothes or his mother would have his head.

the first guy swung and Chifuyu swiftly dodged before hitting him with one of his own punches, flinging him backwards into his group. "Let's see how well a fourth year can hold his own against me" he grinned and jumped right into the fray.

for a while he was able to hold his own for every hit he received, he punched back three, but at one point something metallic hit the back of his head making him stumble onto his ass. ears ringing and eyes blurry, he tried to stand back up but someone grabbed his hair pulling him forward with a painful grunt. "It is high time you are taught something about respecting your seniors"

it was very clear to all of them that he was not gonna win, but he would be damned if he'd go down without giving it his all.

"I have a hard time respecting my elders. I am the only important guy here, after all" he grinned, blood oozing down from his nose to his lips, spitting the metallic taste to the guy still holding him before ramming his forehead into his nose, making him lose the hold he had on Chifuyu. A loud crunch could be heard and Chifuyu couldn't help the glee as he stumbled away from him. "my bad" he laughed, the dizzyness was getting to him.

"you little runt-"

"what's going on here?" all of them turned around to the.. Chifuyu's eyes widened when his eyes finally managed to focus properly- the hell…?

the newbie goody two-shoes? "Hah? listen here, sucker you better scram before we fix yer face like we'll do his"

he'd expected the boy to run with his tail tucked between his knees. But instead, he surprised him yet again "Oh. Is that so?" his voice was eerily calm as he slipped his glasses of his face and pocketed them in his breeches without a care in the world and stepped forward leisurely.

one idiot stepped up to him but before he could even say anything he was thrown face first into the stone wall.

"..you know, where I come from whether north or south" His instincts felt the bloodlust, every nerve on his body wired rigid waiting for the next move, the unpredictable boy would make. he watched as he slipped the hair band from his dark hair, wildly flowing in all directions when his next words came out of his mouth "If one of our guys gets hurt, we come after you with everything we've got to crush you"

the breath got knocked out of Chifuyu as the boy swung at the next guy, watching as the 4th year crumbled to the ground in moments.

"w-who are you?"

"I'm Baji Keisuke" he cracked his knuckles "and my fists will be the last thing you'll be seeing today"

He was left in awe as his classmate's eyes met Chifuyu's, grinning wildly "Let's kick their asses, 'fuyu" Only now did Chifuyu notice the eyes he'd mistaked for usual brown were mixed with crimson. he couldn't help the same smile from forming on his own expression "of course!"

He didn't know it then or maybe he did? but that was the moment he'd decided for the first time, there was somebody worth to be followed.

Later as they strolled into their dormitory, high of their win or more accurately Chifuyu was elated while the other had leisurely walked alongside him with his hands in his pockets- Chifuyu decided that he was the coolest guy he ever met. "Hey Chifuyu, I'm starving do you know the street vendor close by?"

"Eh..? no, I guess-"

"he sells the geatest fried dough I've ever had. Let's get some" the older said as he turned left to make a detour.

"s-sure, Baji-san!"

by the time they arrived, the vendor was almost sold out "what!" Baji-san shouted in disbelief.

"It's fine, I can try them next time-"

"no way, we sharing them! half-half" Baji-san decided

"okay, half-half.." and he had a feeling he would not mind following Baji-san to the end of the world.

Later, Chifuyu had found out that both of them were roommates for that year. it had felt like destiny to him. The rumors of Baji being a killer died down as his appearance became old news quickly. instead, people now saw him as the terrorizer of any upper years that came before him.

In the break Chifyu had introduced him to Excalibur and Baji-san had decided that he was actually named Peke J. They had bickered the whole summer about his name until they had decided on a sword battle where the winner would have the final say.

Looking back, Chifuyu should have picked a different competition as in all the years he'd known him, he'd never seen him lose to anyone but General Mikey. But alas he had been defeated and so Excalibur became Peke J.

When they returned to school to gather the rest of their things, after the first drafts into the army had been announced for their years, Chifuyu had acted like he hadn't noticed the stack of letters that had grown with every month he had spent in the other's presence. It had always been addressed to the same person and they were never sent. Chifuyu had only ever been able to recognize the last character of the name with his commander's chicken scrawl. it seemed no matter how many lessons he'd given him, his writing skills never improved.

But Chifuyu never pried. if Baji-san ever wished to talk about it, Chifuyu would lend him an ear, but he never did. It was not lost on him, how sorrowful his expression grew when the alpha's eyes landed on the stack before he quickly moved them into one of his chests and locked them.

Years later, after a battle so gruesome that Chifuyu had trouble to find his own sense of being, that had gained his Commander a monicker known all over the districts, the first puzzle pieces clicked together. Baji-san was too out of it to notice the words leaving his own lips.

"a pool of blood- he.. he died in misery"

this was the first time he realized Baji-san had lost a dear friend. the letter he'd glimpsed made sense now. an apology to the deceased. He remembered how helpless he had felt as he held onto his trembling commander.

Baji had never said his name or spoken of the incident again. only off-handedly mentioning that he would have liked this or that, but never elaborating who that he was.

one late evening, he'd even mentioned, "tora would'ave liked ya, 'fuyu.." continuing on that he would have loved to introduce Chifuyu to him, for they surely would have become great friends. but the commander had been so drunk, that after those words he had been out like a light. this was the first and last time Baji spoke his name.

Chifuyu had never pressed for more information.

and when he'd met Kazutora in that office and seen how close both of them seemed to be, Chifuyu had been so sure it must have been him, and he'd been so happy that the person Baji had held in such high regard was there, alive.

but then Kazutora had insisted that they had not met and Baji had never refuted him, though it was eerie.

and when the omega had revealed that he'd had stabbed Baji-san, Chifuyu had disregarded any thought of it, because surely he could never be the person that the alpha had chosen to cherish.

but he couldn't shake the feeling-

"-least of all his smile. Who does he think he is?"

both of them were so familiar with one another he'd think they'd known each other for centuries… but then again, if they actually had, would that misunderstanding have happened?

still, Hanemiya Kazutora had a fragile heart. And it was quite frigid and brittle. and it was perfectly safe in the hands of his commander, who'd dedicated his very fiber to the clueless omega. He snorted. Chifuyu knew he followed the right man all those years ago. even if he had his moments of idiocy. but the blessing of love made a fool of people. he sent a thankful prayer to the Carrier of Mortals for his certain hardships in blessing the realm.. and his Commander specifically…

"Kazutora-san?"

"Hm? Are you goin' to apologiz' again?" he sounded annoyed.

He ignored the "Lieutenant, what did you do!" from his subordinates. instead grumbling "No. I learned from the last time. I'm not looking for a second round of bullying from you"

"it's because you're easy to rile up" the omega started giggling, enrapturing the whole room, except for him and Chou. With annoyance, he barked "He's taken, you fucking morons!"

"see~ that's why Sato has such easy play with you. You hafta be more hard-to-get" please, Ryusei folded at the right glance. but he couldn't mention that. so he focused on something else instead "is that how you got Baji-san?"

"No, if I got him, he wouldn' be gone, would he?" the omega mumbled, safe for him nobody else had heard him. The omega accidentally slapped his empty cup on the table in his melancholic mood, and another round of cups filled with ale was presented to him. these idiots couldn't be serious- fucking hell!

"Piss off, already!" Chifuyu started berating the men around him but Kazutora didn't even notice it. Rather his gaze fell on something, and he stood up and walked towards it.

"Hey wait Kazutora-san-" he almost stumbled but somebody held him up by the armpits like a child, he looked up at the tall guy, who looked like he could be serious competition for the outer walls of the city "Phew! thanks! Chou-san, right?" "yes…you're welcome, your grace" He was gently let down by the stoic man and continued moving, unaware of the mental havoc he was causing to the Alphas and Betas in the room.

Finally, he managed to reach what had piqued his interest. So he wasn't mistaken. it was actually-

"A string-uhhh" he exclaimed holding it up like he'd found the treasure of the millennium.

"Who can play?" a sudden ruckus occurred as they brought out a reluctant, scrawny redhead guy with a particular choice of hairstyle, who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"..It's mine, your grace"

"Akkun? I didn't know you joined our division" Chifuyu looked surprised.

"Yeah.. it's a recent development, I was transferred over a couple of weeks ago by the Division Commander" That confused Chifuyu even more, since Baji disliked anything to do with Takemitchy out of sheer principle and Akkun being one of his partner's friends unfortunately was one of them.

Kazutora had enough of their boring conversation and held the instrument in front of this Akkun expectantly "Play" The man hadn't expected the sudden demand and nearly jumped out of his skin, he looked to Chifuyu for help.

"I think it's time we called it a night" the blonde tried to intervene.

"Booh! C'mon 'fuyu, it's gonna be fun"

I'm dead. Baji-san will kill me Chifuyu looked like he was praying to a higher deity, which looked comical, Kazutora couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah Lieutenant, don't ruin his fun! We won't tattle if you don't!" Someone chimed in loudly with a loud Hear, Hear of the crowd. Chifuyu gave them the most scalding side-eye, before turning his gaze back to the reason for his early demise, who looked expectingly at him. It reminded him of Peke J again and just like with him, he reluctantly agreed, unable to refuse him much the same way. call it his guilty conscious "…Fine, but only one song, and then I'm bringing you back"

Akkun still had the urge to object, but by the dirty looks around, he decidedly kept it to himself. "..do you have any special request, your grace?"

"something fun!" he began with a melody his mother used to play him and Kazutora gasped, causing him to stop mid-way "Is something the matter, your grace?" he asked in alarm, he couldn't have messed it up already, could he?

"How do you know this melody?!" Kazutora's face was so close to his, that he felt like he was about to receive an aneurysm, he didn't know the name of it, and he stammered as much. "My mom used to play it for me, your grace. She was born in the Southern Isles as well" ah that explained why Baji-san had requested him. this man seriously. trying to bring people with southern roots to his wife, so he wouldn't feel so lonely up here but then go on to doubt his own instincts… Chifuyu shook his head.

"Ohhh, I see~ start from the beginning again, please!"

in the end, it had almost been a dozen songs of everyone dancing and singing along to Kazutora requesting every song Akkun's mother had taught him before Chifuyu put an end to it, the deciding factor being Kazutoras slumped over form, fast asleep. He would be damned if he let him sleep in the barracks.

yeah, Baji-san would kill them both and everybody else here, when he'd come back. This was the first time he hoped his Commander would take his sweet time before returning.

In the end, he ends up carrying the uncooperative omega on his back as he brings him to his chambers. He falters when the omega begins to mumble some gibberish, words like villain and monster were one of the few words that he continued repeating. Chifuyu did not know what to make of it even as he entered the rooms and placed the unseeing omega on the edge of the bed, fumbling with his words of being 'I'm thirsty father, please-' "I'll get you some water" and left swiftly, hoping by the time he'd returned, his thoughts would have gathered enough, to not be so shaken by the omega's concerning words.

Meanwhile, Kazutora had felt a sense of urgency, the bed was all wrong. pillows and bedding were thrown all over as he tried and failed to rearrange the bed correctly. everything he did made it worse. anxiety built in him, and before long most of the bedding had landed on the floor and Kazutora felt helpless as he clung to what remained of the linen. why couldn't he even do such a simple thing? stupid. stupid. stupid.

his own instincts were screaming at him, but nothing of what he did, could settle him. he felt-

he felt so lonely-

a distressed sound left his lips, his chest began to hurt, and his eyes darted everywhere trying to find a remedy for the wrongness in his body. in the haze, his eyes fell onto the hearth, still crackling with the enchanted flames Baji had placed there, so the fire would not go out once again, he'd said.

His eyes blurred. he didn't deserve the man's kindness. When did a villain ever deserve to be happy? Had he forgotten who.. What he was?

Slowly he tumbles out of the bed, moving towards the hearth. Dazed, he knelt down, his fingers almost touching the warmth his shaking limbs were craving. the closest thing to the heat he'd felt in his embrace-

a sudden shriek has him shoved away from the fireplace just as his fingers grazed the first licks of warmth. it took a while to regain his bearings but when he finally righted himself into a seating position with a soft groan his eyes met those of an alarmed stranger "y-your grace!" she took hold of his fingers and he flinched away. no.no.no.no-no! no touching

it was all wrong, her touch was all wrong- he didn't want her, he wanted-

Chifuyu runs back when he hears a shriek and the sudden commotion. what greets him has him drop the pitcher of water. in the mids of the pillows and blankets on the floor sat an overwhelmed maid and a trembling omega. his eyes zeroed in on the terrified expression on Kazutora-san's face as he tried to get away from her hold.

"let him go! What are you doing?!" he regrets his loud volume immediately as the omega flinches in the wake of it. the maid drops his hands and Kazutora-san scurries to the furthest corner of the room, like a wounded animal holding his hands to his ears, rocking back and forth as he tries to make himself as small as possible, mumbling broken apologies over and over again.

Chifuyu's stomach drops, and his first instinct is to step over to do something to help him. "L-Lieutenant, I came in and he w-was trying to burn himself. I- I only tried to stop him, please believe me-"

his eyes focused on the omega's hands still digging into his ears and the harsh redness spoke for itself. He sighed, trying not to lose it. "you will speak none of what you saw tonight, am I clear?"

"y-yes of course-"

"clean this up" he motioned towards the broken pitcher, stepping to the corner of the room where the omega had chosen refuge in. his mind raced, trying to find a solution for how to help him, if only Baji-san was here then-

"- go to the barracks and ask for one of the commander's winter cloaks, quickly!"

"y-yes, of course" She was off almost immediately.

He didn't walk any further not wanting to make the situation for the omega any worse. it didn't take long for the maid to be back, breathing heavily and disheveled as she was, she had several cloaks with her. On any other day, he might have been impressed. but now he can only take them off her hands and dismiss her. he prayed the teachings of his mother would work.

with every step he takes towards the omega, he can see him flinch. he ignores his own queasy stomach in favor of dropping the cloaks on top of the omega, who stops moving altogether. For a horrifying moment he thinks he made the wrong decision, and berating himself internally for just dropping them on top of him without offering them first. what was he thinking?! but that was what his mom had always done for her patients. Had he remembered wrong-

".. he hates me, doesn't he?" it is so spoken faintly, but Chifuyu understands immediately "no. he could never hate you"

"..then why-" he muffled into the cloak of wetness in his eyes but he didn't finish his question. instead choosing to bury himself further into the fabric. the comforting scent of pine trees and smoke not enough to rid him of the disgusting ugliness bubbling up in his chest. yet it is the only string keeping him from losing it. and what a terrifying thought that was. for one person to hold so much control over him.

"you should rest"

he rubbed the blurryness from his eyes, nodding. the Lieutenant offers him a hand as he stands up, but Kazutora doesn't take it, humiliation nipping at his bare feet as he wobbly moves back to the bare bed, careful not to step on any shards.

"you can leave now, Lieutenant Matsuno" his skin felt clammy and his breath was still stuttering. he used the cloak on his shoulders to wrap it around himself in a makeshift blanket but hissed when his sensitive fingers moved too fast. he looked at his hands stupified, noting the redness on the tip of his fingers. luckily there was not too much damage, the scar that matched Chifuyu's temple from the fall of the wall still intact.. huh?-

he blinked at his hand, there was no scar, he looked confused at the Beta, there was no scar on him either- but the wall… his brows furrowed.

"Kazutora-san..?"

the omega laughed, ignoring the concern in the other's voice. no wall had even fallen, stupid. he was full of nonsense again. his laughter ceased, his eyes growing more heavy.

"it is late and I am tired, Lieutenant. please make sure to close the door on your way out. we don't want any of the staff members to get the wrong idea" he said wrily, watching as the man flinched at the implication of the words once more, spluttering.

Kazutora waved his form away, unconcerned for ruffling the beta's steel feathers of loyalty towards his commander again. the second-in-command would probably spend the night in nightmares of thinking the people around might think he was trying to make a move on his commander's wife.

both of them knew that it wouldn't be true. but when had the truth ever been of concern in the hands of gossips? and at least like this, the Beta would leave him alone in fear of ruining his own spotless reputation.

"..yes, I should go. rest well, Kazutora-san"

Kazutora curled into himself after the doors closed. he had made quite the fool of himself today, hadn't he?

You could always leave

he jolted up, holding his hand to the ear, where he could still feel the awful breath of a whisper lingering. His heart stuttered out of his chest as he turned, but the only thing remaining were the soft shadows of the dancing flames. He curled back into the bed, this time away from the corner, just to be safe, clutching both of his ears, with only one helpless thought in his mind-

Not again