For the ages

by BL-lover23

The mouth of the tiger on his neck slowly dripped blood as the knife carved along. Something gently touched his cheek and his eyes immediately snapped up. He inhaled sharply, eyes widening. Gold met Rusty Red. (“You’ll come find me, right?”) Bajitora Omegaverse

11. Chapter 11: the outsider

Before our fate and future starts crumbling back to dust

I'm begging you, please, just to remember me

As clear as I used to be

Oh, won't you please tell

Won't you tell me

The monster that you see

Is it a part of me?

TK from Ling tosite sigure - Unravel

He fell over and over, but he barely registered it. It took him several tries to finally reach him. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it-

please. please. please no.

His hands lifted to touch him when he flinched back. Up close he could see that most of his face was covered in blood. red red red. He looked down, unable to stomach it. his hand trembled as it went to his trachea.

Please let there be a pulse. dread filled him Please please, please. His fingers went to his artery and…. nothing. He felt bile coming up his throat. why are you sad? you wanted to see if he colored the same shade as-

"Your grace is he..?"

Golden eyes snapped awake with a gasp.

"Incoming, Commander~" the sound of Ryusei's apparent glee at throwing a Snowdigger his way was not lost on him.

He had barely a moment to frown in his direction before he was forced to slash the large, fur-covered serpents coming his way. "Motherfucking-" he quickly realized his sword alone could not do much with the sheer number of them. With much more irritation than necessary, he let the rest of them be covered by a large wall of fire with far too much heat as he glared at the culprit, who remained unaffected and grinning. "Nice clean up"

"How about you actually do your work?"

"Maybe I just like to see you sweat, Boss~" Ryusei winked in his direction, leaving him with utter disgust at the simple nerve of the guy before his former Lieutenant went all out with a few of his favorite spells, happily watching the beasts blow up.

He rolled his eyes "Chifuyu's not here to rile up"

"and what a shame that is! you know, how about next time we bring him and your lovely wife along, it can be a double date-"

"Like I'd ever let Kazutora set foot in this shithole" he grumbled, using his cloak to clean his face off the monster gunk.

"Oho, you can say your wife's name again without making that disturbing face of anguish. My dearest Chifuyu would shed a tear if he'd heard you"

"Watch it"

"Yessir~" Ryusei saluted playfully as they trotted back inside the barrier.

Baji glared holes at the entourage coming their way. Like an annoying pest, he could not simply shake off. "we thank you once more for aiding us with your marvelous talents, your grace. " He'd tried his damn near hardest to be rid of those slimy high officers in charge of this place. And what high officers they were- couldn't even hold their own as the Borderland patrol.

Hiding behind their own underlings to lie low from the thick of battle. If he'd actually had some men to replace them with, he'd made cannon fodder of them. But many of the patrol were still green and too inexperienced for the responsibility.

He missed the old fuck that used to run this place. He'd been a hardass and rule-abiding to a-fault kind of guy, that Baji only ever seemed to butt heads with him. But at least the old man could back the shit-talk up. Never backing down from his ideals.

Baji might not have respected his opinions but he could respect a backbone and frustratingly, his appointed successors were jarringly lackluster in all departments. Gods, he couldn't wait to leave this place behind.

He was ready to fall into his bed, done with their incessant yapping to be in his good graces. His blood pressure grew as he considered the pros and cons of physically tearing each of those four idiots a new one if they didn't cut it out-

"Since the campaign is successfully coming to an end, we took the liberty of organizing a grand banquet in your name, your grace"

I'd rather die- but before he could even voice himself, Ryusei nudged him. He turned to see his own men looking at him with hopeful expressions. "Get a fucking grip, will you" he hissed… acting like they were left with starving in Omamori-

"We can't wait~ you should know our Commander here has quite an appetite"

"Ryusei" he said warningly.

"C'mon the platoon has been at it for more than two weeks. Cut them some slack. We'll be departing tomorrow anyway. So what's a bit of leisure? You never used to pass up a chance to go wild~" Ryusei wiggled his eyebrows at him, clapping him on the back. He was certain he and Ryusei had different concepts of going wild.

"I know you miss your dearest better half, but this might do you some good, and maybe if we're lucky we can disperse that gloomy cloud above your head as well.

fuck me, I guess. Baji looked back at the Borderland officers "Make it quick" he relented, wondering what fucking cloud the other was talking about.

Baji was not impressed as they were brought to the usual hall where they'd held their meeting to counteract the breach. Since these guys did anything but show up to any of them, citing one excuse after the other. He'd wondered if they even knew what the inside of it looked like.

As they arrived he disregarded their continuous yapping about the care they took in making sure all the northern staples were brought to the feast for him to enjoy. He rolled his eyes as he surveyed the room.

The tables were filled with all varieties of northern meals. His eyes narrowed at the sight of the mulled wine and hot buttered rum "You think it a good idea for your men to be drinking while the breach remains barely mended?"

"Uh-"

"There will be no one tomorrow to compensate for your lack of efffort. I aint letting my men risk their lives so yours can fool around"

"Of course, your grace. We were only-"

He'd had enough of them as he crossed his arms, sitting down next to Ryusei "Stop talking to me, I do not care to hear it"

Maybe if they'd had one operating cell in their head they would have heeded his warning and hadn't pushed further. But they were as dumb as they were ugly Kazutora's sarcastic voice rang in his head, the laugh he'd hide behind his fist, mischievously meeting his eyes. They are just asking to be put down a peg, don't you think? The corners of his mouth twitched at the thought. He couldn't help but agree.

"Uh- how about we bring in our special guests in honor of his grace?" He watched as the Brainless Idiot No. 1 made a pointed face at Brainless Idiot No. 2 and No.3, the former immediately springing up towards the door. He was barely gone for a moment when the strings of a few violins began to play a slow tune popular in the taverns down south.

His eyes furrowed in contemplation. Was it not the melody that had echoed through the inn where he and Kazutora had properly kissed for the first time?

His fingers twitched at the phantom feeling of Kazutora's strands of black and gold tangled in them as the omega had oh so eagerly connected their lips, the heady scent of honey eclipsed the usually prickly lemon into a sweet treat of a citrusy dessert. And what a dessert it had been. Baji remembered how intoxicated he had felt by the end of it as the hunger had turned into a softer, lazier drawl of lips equally rendering him breathless exchange of fluttering touches and sweet nothings.

His gut churned, it had felt so easy— natural back then. The idea of doing so now felt dauntingly impossible. It was not as if he'd just boulstered through recklessly without thought. Even when he'd backtracked, he'd explicitly made sure to ask, to check in-

are you sure?

are you okay?

He'd received more than one annoyed eye-roll in return as the omega replied with impatience to continue their little game.

…he hadn't even noticed. When had he stopped asking Kazutora?

A new tune began and the memory dispersed like fog in the early twilight. Not even four notes had finished as Brainless Idiot No. 2 ushered several. Severely underdressed. omegas inside

You must be fucking kidding me- He could feel the veins throbbing on his forehead. In the blink of an eye, his irritation turned into fury. He gripped the side of the table until he could feel the splinters dig into his flesh. They could not be so dumb, surely. He refused to believe anyone could be this plain stupid.

He was distinctively reminded of the noble elderly trying to corner him into what they had considered a scandal with the unclaimed omegas of their family members just to force his hand in marriage. It had been shortly after finishing his second campaign and his promotion to Commander when he'd returned to Omamori for the first time in years.

He didn't remember much. But what he did remember was taking a life that night. A pack alpha, who had not relented in his eagerness to line his blood with that of the northern Duchy, persisted he marry his omega child until Baji had seen red.

After that, no one had dared to bring up the offer of marriage again.

"Oho~, this is gonna be interesting" the gleeful whisper of Ryusei's voice distantly reached his ears. Unlike the other,

the commander remained blank-faced, which was never a good sign for those with a crumb of survival instinct, Ryusei thought bemused. If Chifuyu had been here, he might have tried to warn them.. or maybe he would have already carved the man's face in before his superior could get to them and rip them limb from limp. With Chifuyu one couldn't ever be sure. But the latter too would have been a mercy, but Ryusei held no such notions inside of him. Chifuyu would have called him sadistic if he'd voiced any of it and he wouldn't have been wrong.

His grin grew wider as the officer rushed over with one of the more scarcely clad omegas of the bunch, a small ginger with delicate feautures, shivering in his makeshift attire. He wondered how handsomely they were being compensated to be dressed like this in these temperatures. If not for the temperature, than at least for the catastrophic endeavor about to unfold.

"We thought you'd appreciate a pallet cleanser" Oh my, that was quite the way one would choose to leave the mortal plane. He'd pray for him if he weren't so opposed to the spiritual realm.

"The omegas down south surely get boresome after time. They don't hold a candle to what our remarkable Northlands have to offer. No Southerner would even come close to this perfection" the man gloated as he shoved the poor thing forward, who looked close to fainting. And who could fault them? The alpha next to him was positively bloodthirsty.

Baji's jaw clenched. "Ryusei, is he-"

"I believe he just called your terrifying wife lackluster-"

"I see." he stood up for barely a moment before the officer went flying into the table face first, the alpha still holding on to his skull as the table split in several pieces beneath them.

The music stopped abruptly. Everybody froze at the display in front of them. But Baji took no note of it, the blood in his veins rushing through his ears as he held the bloodied head up for only a moment, mustering it. Nose broken, teeth missing, the man may be unconscious already. But that wasn't enough now, was it? For the transgression he had dared to make.

Golden eyes, rimmed with the redness of unshed tears flickered through his mind. The hurt in the omega's gaze as he'd wondered what he'd done to be disliked so.. whether now or then.

To be made fun of as they threw one insult after the other as he just took it, his small hands wrinkling his pants with a clawing grip as the likes of Junpeke and his older friends harassed him.

Back then Baji had wondered why Kazutora had repeatedly turned up so disheveled with scratches and bumps but whenever he'd asked, Kazutora had brushed it off and switched the topic to an animal he'd read about to successfully distract him. He had been ashamed at how easily it had worked.

He'd only chanced upon the group of them on sheer luck, wondering why Kazutora was taking so long to get to their meeting spot. They were supposed to go on a treasure hunt to find the reaper's dagger. But instead, he watched as Junpeke called Kazutora a needy whore who relished in the attention of the newest guy that gave him a bit of attention and shoved him to the ground. He hadn't even known what the word meant; the insult was too foreign of a concept back then.

But he hadn't needed to know, Baji had moved before his mind had even fully registered what transpired. Kazutora was cowering on the ground, that was all that his mind focused on.

For a moment that was all he'd been able to comprehend-

When his mind resurfaced he was on top of an older boy his split knuckles still raised for another punch. He could feel somebody shaking him "We have to leave, Kei before my fa- someone finds out!"

"-tora..?" he could feel the boy grab his still-raised arm. He let himself get pulled away from the three boys still on the ground. For a while, the only thing registering was the echo of their small shoes hitting the cobblestone.

Kazutora had only let go of his wrist when they'd arrived at the rocky shore. Both of them were fighting for breath. He could still only see Kazutora's back as his shoulders moved up and down trying rapidly to inhale so much needed air. Neither of them said anything.

It dawned on him, that Kazutora might be upset with him for escalating the situation and his stomach felt queasy at the thought alone but he felt even more bothered that Kazutora hadn't told him "Why didn't you tell me-"

furious gold whirled around to him "because it's none of your business! I was handling it-"

"Yeah, I saw how you were handling it" he scoffed.

"Shut up! You don't know anything"

"I heard enough to know that calling someone names and hitting them is not right! Did you expect me to stand by and watch them pick on you?!" He felt his anger rise all over again at the reminder.

"I don't need you to protect me! So the next time you can shove it!" the omega pushed him away angrily.

"Like I'd let a second time happen?!" Baji grabbed him anyway.

"I just told you to mind your own business-"

"You are my business!" That had shut Kazutora up almost immediately, his eyes turning to the ground as his pouty cheeks turned more flushed. "…You're my friend and I'm not going to stand by when my friend is in trouble"

The other continued to avert his eyes, his nose scrunched up "I.. I'm not forgiving you"

"good. 'cause I ain't apologizing" Baji rebutted just as defiantly.

Kazutora groaned with annoyance and plopped to the ground laying his head on the powdery sand. His dark hair had been shorter back then. A proper cut for a male, noblebred omega, no wildness in it. No gold yet, either. It had him wondering even now how it came to be. It couldn't have been color or a spell to change it with as he'd assumed after they had met again. The color would have faded at one point and roots would have inevitably come through. A spell would have been disabled the moment the mana seals had been placed on the omega.

Kazutora's bangs had slid away from his forehead, exposing the downturn of his eyebrows, his gaze towards the clouds longingly "I wonder if they are as soft as they look" and Baji had not understood it then.

If he'd taken a moment to understand, he might have argued, told him 'no, there were just a mixture of cold moisture in the sky, there was nothing soft about them and didn't you hate the cold?!'

Maybe then the omega would have chosen differently. Hindsight was a funny thing. to discard this world just to escape the shackles the world had bound him with even if that meant leaving Baji behind.

Kazutora didn't even notice as he did it. The empty gaze towards the false liberty the sky above promised him. Baji should have feared it, he stood no chance against the blue vastness up high. He alone would never be enough to fill the void Kazutora shouldered.

But he would be damned if he didn't at least try-

Slowly, he too followed Kazutora down, the crown of their heads almost touching. "what they said.. they were wrong"

"They weren't… Everything they said holds true" Baji felt like hot coal had been forced into him as he listened to the solemn conviction in Kazutora's tone. Yet it hadn't even sounded like him at all. Even the words he had used were unnatural. As if somebody had forced those foreign words down his throat and now there was nothing left for him but to repeat them.

He clenched his fists in frustration before jumping up and tackling Kazutora for the wrongs he accepted, grabbing the omega by his collar "whose opinion do you ask for, huh?" He searched desperately for anything in those saddened eyes, that grew rounder in confusion. "eh?"

"when you couldn't decide which prize to take after winning first place in the goldfish stand, who did you ask?"

Kazutora's confusion didn't subside. He was not allowed to bring a fish home, so the shop keeper had offered a variety of toys instead."..you?"

"that is damn right! and when you didn't know which book to borrow, who did you ask?"

"you, but that was because you wouldn't let me choose anything that didn't contain an animal-" he rebutted but went ignored as the other shushed him- "that's not the point right now. When you need a great idea, who do you go to?"

"are you fishing for compliments? it's kind of pathetic, Kei.." he raised his eyebrow in judgement.

"shut up, that's not what I'm doing! Every time you don't know do you go to that Junpeke bastard?"

"no…"

"so if you're not trusting him to have great ideas what use do you have for his stupid ones?" Baji's nose was almost touching his. "you have me. The only guy whose word you have to trust is mine, got it?"

"shouldn't you be telling me that I should believe in myself instead of others?" That was at least what Nanny always told him.

"No way, your opinions are shit!"

"Hah?!" Kazutora wanted to smack him but Baji dodged him perfectly. "do you understand? Believe only me. The rest don't matter"

"You're so full of yourself" he pouted, averting his gaze but didn't argue. But Baji didn't let him deflect from the matter "Believe me"

Kazutora forced the corners of his mouth up in a weak attempt at a smile, humming in false agreement. Baji dropped his grip on the now rumpled collar suddenly feeling disappointed. Kazutora was humoring him solely to shut him up. He didn't trust Baji. It felt like he'd suckerpunched him in the gut.

Baji stood up, mad all over again. Why wouldn't Kazutora just get it? "I don't want to search for treasure today. Let's call our trip off."

"Oh." Kazutora's expression fell as he sat up now as well, his gaze quickly turning to the coarseness of the sand beneath. he did not fight or argue. In moments like these, it didn't feel like Kazutora at all."..okay"

For someone who'd argue with him whether the color of the sea was blue or green, it was dismaying to see him not even put up a fight. Baji didn't know what he disliked more the crestfallen expression Kazutora was trying to hide or himself for causing it. He bit his tongue until he tasted iron.

"Tomorrow!" the omega jumped at his sudden volume "..Tomorrow, I will convince you! so be prepared" he stomped off, before realizing something. He turned back with annoyance "What are you standing there for?"

"but you said..-" Kazutora looked at him, lost.

"I said I didn't want to go to the forest, not that I was ditching you. Move your ass, I am starving"

Kazutora scrambled up to catch up to him "but lunch was less than an hour ago"

"So what?"

"I'm not hungry" The omega frowned in that special way that made his cheeks squish up. Baji wanted to pull at them, curious to find out if they remained this puffed up if he did. "You can have dessert then" he said instead to curb the urge.

"Okay!" suddenly the omega was ahead of him, impatiently pulling him along "but you're paying"

"I never said that!"

"…are you going to let me starve?" Kazutora looked at him with big shiny eyes. A pitiful attempt to make him fold. But even more pitiful was Baji for falling for it for the tenth time. it might have been more, but Baji could count past ten yet. "—fine, but only one dessert" he said sternly.

"only one?! that's cruel. three!"

"one and that is final"

"..okay" Kazutora's voice was full of dejection as his eyes shone with disappointment. "fine, two! but I mean it, not one more. Otherwise, you'll barf in the bushes again"

"Sure!" the omega grinned. Gone was the depressing facade that had been there not a moment ago and Baji once more realized with a curse that he'd been played like a fiddle. This was the last time, he swore to himself like he'd done a million times before. He was glad Mikey and Haru were not here to witness it.

They turned a corner towards the main street again when just like that, all the work Baji had put into cheering Kazutora up vanished into smoke. There they stood, by the corner of the pharmacy, nursing their banged-up faces. Junpeke and his merry friends.

Twice in less than an hour, they had managed to ruin Baji's day. He was ready to let his fists have another go when the omega stopped him with a pinched expression. Kazutora dropped his arm as if burned by the mere touch of it. "I.. I changed my mind. I don't want any sweets, Kei. They're no good for me anyways"

"what? No!-"

"It's late I should head back before Nanny searches for me again" the omega turned and disappeared in the crowd before he could convince him otherwise. Baji had felt so frustratingly useless.

A wave of newfound anger had filled him as he'd zeroed in on those pieces of shit again, his fingers itching to draw blood. And this time Kazutora was not there to stop him.

The remainder of that whole ordeal had his grip on the bastard turn all the more severe for it, his knuckles whitening. At that moment Baji could have not cared less whether the officer survived the night or not, repeatedly slamming the fucker's skull into the splintering table. How dare they speak of him. How dare they even think of him? How dare they make Kazutora believe any of it?

For a moment there was only the dull sound of

thunk.

thunk.

thunk.

The man's blood seeped into the creaking floor underneath them, coating the strewn food a satisfying crimson. There might be no more breath left in the man, he noted numbly, still, he did not relent.

Only after the sound of any more bone breaking had seized did he stop, his ears ringing with the chime of a bell. Slowly, he turned to the rest of the room. Everybody but the men he'd brought along looked at the scene…

at him in horror.

He looked down again at the brutality he had wrought, something akin to satisfaction singing in his veins. Good, let them be afraid.

With his thumb, he swiped the smear of blood on his cheek away. Only then did the scent of terror register. He realized one of the omegas had already succumbed to the pressure in the room and fainted to the ground. His head once more turned to the crowd. Pleased, he watched as the remainder turned frigid.

"Does anyone else wish to come forward with their opinion concerning the duchess?" The hall remained deathly silent. He smiled and looked at his nails, still caked with crimson. He had no doubt this story would spread throughout the whole district by the time they will have successfully made it back to Omamori.

all the better.

"let this not be a reminder but a warning. Any slight towards my wife and it will not just be death you'll pray for"

He stood up and turned to the waiting gaze of the Beta"Ryusei, get these omegas something appropriate to wear and send them on their way. and you three, get the corpse out of my sight before I decide it needs company"

"O-of course, your grace" they stumbled over one another "The Carrier of Mortals will be pleased with the gift!" he rolled his eyes. Of course, they'd try to twist it into some sort of worship of the Faith.

He made for the door before he turned to the Ryusei once again, curious about something "why did you say terrifying?"

"terrific, Commander, I said your terrific wife~ Maybe we should get your ears checked once we're back in the capital?"

"Uhuh." Baji narrowed his eyes skeptically. That shady liar definitely hadn't said that at all, but he let the matter slide.

Now that the high of adrenaline was fading he could feel the tiredness seeping into his bones as he made his way to his tent, wondering what Kazutora was up to right now if the omega thought even a fraction of him as he did for him.

His mind unwillingly wandered back to the cutting words Kazutora had left him with. His wife really did not pull any punches. If he did think of him, it was not out of fondness. He was plotting his revenge more likely, he thought drily. But he couldn't deny he didn't deserve it.

The terrible anguish he'd seen on the omega's face. in all these past weeks you've spent avoiding me like I was carrying some sort of disease- He didn't think he screwed up this exponentially. In his attempt to protect him, he'd only worsened the situation.

He pinched his nose bridge. From all the stupid stunts he'd pulled in his life and there were surely hundreds if not thousands, this one was by far the most damning of his incompetence.

Gods he couldn't believe he let it go so far for Kazutora to think that Baji had despised him so greatly.. He looked so upset, so disappointed in Baji and his heart still ached at the reminder. He knew he deserved every bit of it.

He knew better. He knew plenty of what miserable conclusions Kazutora drew when Baji'd been the most upfront and frank with him, that should have left no room for doubt one a normal person, but when it came to the omega, it somehow still did.. Baji knew better, gods damnit. And unlike him, Kazutora had no memory to fall back on when those doubts had poisoned his mind.

No, that wasn't quite fair of the alpha, was it?

why would I fear you? Kazutora had not needed any memories to hold such conviction. The omega had seemed insulted at the sheer implication, looking at Baji as if he'd grown a second head with equally missing blood cells and nerves to call a brain, which was fair.

fuck, why hadn't he known better?! Baji held his head in frustration.

A millennium could pass and you still find yourself here.

His head snapped around to see the masked stranger again. The dark crimson showing through his wolf mask was awfully familiar. Don't make the same mistakes I did, young wolf.

"Who the fuck are you?" I received your gift and shouldn't you know?

"No, I don't motherfucker" ask your instinct. Baji was taken aback the intruder clicked his tongue with disdain. I forgot you don't trust that, do you? he mocked before stepping forward.

Let me teach you a lesson, young wolf.

He blinked his eyes for less than a heartbeat and found himself once more on a battlefield he could not recall. A man charges at him and unlike before, he has no weapon to defend himself with before the attack strikes true. Instinctively, his eyes closed. When they open once more he can see that the weapon went right through him as the attacker ripped the sword from the flesh of the person behind Baji. "what the-"

"Humanity is a fickle thing." the masked stranger appears next to him, his voice doesn't resound in his mind anymore. No, the voice comes from the devil's throat itself. Baji is about to lay into him for pulling this shit when thebastard begins to walk through the soldiers fighting. "in the name of civilization it has deemed to conquer and destroy, to tame what has no need for it… but somehow I still cherished them for it"

"those dreams… that was your fucking doing!" he stepped forward to rip his head off his shoulders, not registering the last of his words, too focused on the similiarity to the dreamscape that had haunted him.

"no that was solely yours" the intruder swept past him. "Do you remember the old wives tale of how the Northlands came to be, boy?"

"never bothered with it" he bit out.

"Neither did I then." came the melancholic tone again.

The stranger flicked the crest of his House stitched into Baji's still stained vest "It began with a wolf like this"

"huh?" Baji furrowed his brow.

"one of the forgotten gods" he elaborated.

"I don't even know the current ones. What do I care for the ones nobody bothered to remember" he raised his eyebrow sceptically.

"If not for yourself, then at least for your beloved make the effort" that struck a cord in him as guilt washed over him. "Fine. go on" he motioned.

The intruder hummed "what do humans consider a wolf?"

"A predator, that goes after their sheep" he rolled his eyes. Privately, he'd consider this man a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"What do you call a being that so naturally opposes you and your stock?"

"an opponent… enemy I guess"

"what do you do with your enemy?"

"eliminate it"

"One must kill the wolf to defend the herd" the man nodded before the glimmer of crimson flashed once more through the slits of the mask with a warning. "do you consider yourself a good person?"

"not really. I killed a lot of men in the war and I killed a guy not an hour ago" he said unaffected by his own actions. Baji didn't particularly care what this guy thought of him. the person whose opinion he did care for was not here and it wasn't as if he would be regarding Baji in great light right now. if anything, it was the opposite.

"then, the ones you defended in the war.. or even now, do you consider them good?" his mind flew to Kazutora, his mother, Emma, and all the others that would have paid a price far worse than his tainted hands. "yes." of course, he did. what a stupid question to ask.

"you protect what you cherish and consider good. as the herder does his sheep. But there is still the wolf. Would you consider him evil then?"

"No, it hunts to survive." his brows furrowed at the weird questions.

"But you oppose that"

"I know this is a dog-eat-dog world out there. But a wolf going after sheep is not the same as an enemy soldier coming after my family. One does it to survive while the other would live regardless of it" he scowled. he'd know, after all, he was no better.

"that is where you are wrong. I never claimed the wolf was the soldier. That was you as well"

"I guess I did" he says with reluctance "but you spouted all that enemy bullshit"

"mortals are led to believe enemies can only ever be of evil nature so of course you chose the adversaries you faced in battle before. Those dreams you had, does it ring a bell?"

He grunted stiffly. To his chagrin, it did in fact ring a bell.

"but their existence was so minor in regards to.."

"who was the real enemy you saw in your dreams?" a cold bucket of icy water might as well have been spilled on top of him. The sharp fangs were bloodied as the long claws on his hands.

"...Me" he said through clenched teeth, his heartbeat racing "It was me"

"Indeed, it was you. and what did you do when you realized?"

"I ran" he replied regretfully.

"but that is not quite true now, is it? You ran, sure. But from your wife, if I recall correctly." the man sounded spiteful, accusatory. It made his own hackles rise. "No, what you did to yourself was not running"

…He was right. Baji had not run. He'd wanted to squash it, to smother it until he could gain the control he so clearly lacked. "fear is a curious thing" the masked man came closer.

"I do not fault you for your reaction. that was the lesson you were given after you unleashed the first time. 'to combat your fear, you have to learn to control it before it controls you', right?" he imitated the instructors and mind healers Baji's mother had hired after his feral episode.

"your enemy can be your greatest teacher" the stranger touched his the center of his chest. He coud feel his own hearbeat pulsating with the unfamiliar sensation. It did not feel human. "Your enemy, what do you think it is?" Baji was still reeling from the unnatural feeling spreading into his bones to answer.

"Why don't we ask it?" suddenly, the man stabbed his hand into Baji's chest. He remained too stunned to react as the masked man wretched something out. Baji let out a shout of pain as he crumbled to his knees, the sensation of being ripped into two enveloping him. he didn't know how long he remained on the floor, his vision blurry as he tried to regain some semblance of sanity at what just happened.

Frantically he touched his chest to find it unharmed. No gaping fleshwound was there to claim otherwise, but the pain.. the hand digging into the crevices of his chest, he had not imagined. He blinked until his vision cleared again, only then did his eyes snap back to the asshole, that was fucking with him.

The hairs on his neck raised as he came face to face with the monster he'd only ever seen glimpses of in his dreams instead.

It was jarring to see it in front of him instead of the reflection of a mirrored surface. He gulped as the threat appraised him in equal measure. Its claws sharpened as it waited for him to strike first.

"here is your chance. Eradicate your enemy and free yourself of its shackles" The stranger placed Rampage into his hand with a shove and disappeared.

Not a moment later the monster attacked.

boom!

The days after the Beta's odd invitation Kazutora had spent back by his lonesome, quite relieved the other had not tried to strike up another conversation or worse bring up, what had transpired that night.

Though that dream he had, still shook him to his core. He didn't even remember what had caused him such turmoil in that dream or what it had been about. So he shouldn't dwell on it. And there had been far more weirder dreams since..

Kazutora was colored all the more surprised, when the Beta had once more arrived three days later at his doorstep and told him it was time for another lesson. he had half the mind to refuse him, still nursing the phantoms of a pounding headache. He'd had several nights where he dreamed he'd been listening to folksongs of old, singing and dancing in a large circle, oddly enough.

"Today I'll show you how to manipulate your energy, so you can actually use-…well in theory you could use it," Chifuyu said, glancing awkwardly at his wrists, where the seals were hidden behind his sleeves, while dragging him back to the training grounds. Kazutora wasn't nearly as enthusiastic about the lessons today as he'd been on the first day. He wanted to tell the blonde to piss off and leave him alone already, which was completely ignored by the Beta.

When they arrived something odd happened. This time the men in the field seemed much more enthusiastic in greeting him, bypassing Chifuyu interily. "Your Grace! Thank you for honoring us with another visit!"

"..you're welcome?" He turned to Chifuyu, trying to gesture for help with an expression screaming, what the decorum to be followed here was. Nobody had aver taught him what the protocol for an omega was in the midst of a military base.

"These men seem to have too much free time on their hands, they can run a hundred laps around the field" the beta only grumbled.

"But Lieutenant-" some of them protested.

"Move!"

"Yes sir!" they scrambled off like a herd of chickens, while the tall one.. Chou-san removed the leftover debris from their portion of the field. "Hello" he greeted just to be respectful. He almost regretted it when his greeting went unanswered for almost a minute.

"…hello, your grace" came the stoic reply.

"Nice to meet you, uhh.."

"Chou-san, your grace. We've met before"

"We did? Uh- I guess it's nice to meet you again then, Chou-san" the other only nodded stiffly before returning back to his task.

What an odd man, he thought before Chifuyu charged forward with his… lesson plan. He couldn't believe the guy had made a lesson plan.

That is how most of the next days went.

He'd work on leafing through some of the new books he'd scavenged from the library, seated in front of the fireplace, and at noon Chifuyu would waltz in and drag him to the training grounds for his lessons. He didn't know why he was still humoring him, but Kazutora still went with him nonetheless. maybe it was the guilt for having caused the guy to put so much work into teaching Kazutora material (although somewhat innacurately)

and maybe the shared dinner with the other men was more fun than he'd admit out loud. the young recruits seemed to be especially motivated when Kazutora praised their swordsmanship. He felt bad for them, had the commander ever heard of positive reinforcement?

"that's not why they run to you like little lost puppies"

"what else would be the reason?"

"something they can discuss with Baji-san when he's back"

he thinks they are a bit dramatic as well, as they immediately burst into tears, begging the lieutenant not to tell. He knew from own experience what a hard-ass Baji could be.

huh, this might have been the first time since their fight, that he'd thought about Baji without sorrow following like a bad aftertaste. his stomach instead seemed to squirm at the thought of his return. perhaps he would not hate it, whenever he were to return. ignoring the sting in the pit of his stomach, the last conversation he'd shared with his husband at the back of his mind.

Never mind, he still had quite the repertoire of curses to throttle him with.

He said as much to Chifuyu and Chou-san. The Latter only nodded which he appreciated while the former went on a tirade about 'forgiveness and seeing past the flaws of one's spouse and anyways, you're no better, Kazutora-san!'

Maybe Kazutora had received those words with a warm welcome, where he'd reflected on the Lieutenant's words and taken them to heart.

Maybe he'd instead bullied the Beta into an accidental confession towards a southern mage, that everybody but Kazutora (and Chifuyu) seemed shocked about. He was pretty sure he'd brought the guy to tears, after he'd repeatedly asked him to stop laughing at his expense as the trainees giggled behind their superior.

Maybe.

"motherfu-" Baji barely dodged the swipe toward his jugular, the move sending him back several feet.

To his great chagrin, this was how it had been going since that piece of shit wolf-masked bastard had brought him to this space. It hadn't taken him long to notice that he'd no longer been at the border of the borderlands. There was a field of ice not snow around him. It must have been there for eons if not since the lands were first created, its thickness impenetrable. he could not use his fire to combat it.

At least Rampage had been a blessing in this. Without his clamor, he might have already been killed thrice over. The beast had been relentless. Every attack had been a killing blow.

In the weeks he must have been here, it remained silent, not once did it speak. Baji was not sure it even could. He was exhausted, but somehow neither hungry nor thirsty. But the sun had set over two dozen times, if his men had been searching for him, he did not know. It made him wonder if time had passed at all.

He quickly ducked to the floor as the beast made to kick, quickly slashing his sword towards its raised leg. and the monster stopped for a fraction of a moment before its nails clashed with Rampage.

clang!

Now he was sure of it though. Whenever he swung Rampage it would halt for merely a moment before it would strike once more. He had noticed it before but he had yet to figure out why. It clearly was used to weapons, the dagger he'd lost in the squirmish already proof of it. And with the knife, it had shown no reaction at all. Merely shrugging it off when it had hit its shoulder blade, even as the blood trickled down the monster's shoulder, it had remained unperturbed. No matter what he did or how many times he slashed it, it came back only stronger.

clang!

Baji's eyes widened. Too caught up in his own thoughts he took too long to realize the beast had advanced again, but instead of swiping for him as he lunged up it stopped at the hilt of his sword. "what the…"

As if in a trance the glowing eyes came closer, its nose touching the metal as the claws brushed against

cling!

huh. The beast was transfixed on Kazutora's bell earring. Every time Rampage moved, the bell chimed with it, the monster's eyes following it with longing eyes. It made something churn through his stomach.

In his shock, he moved back and the beast for the first time since they had begun this song and dance snarled at him before it once more turned towards the golden chain tied around the hilt. As if too afraid to break it its fingers moved to touch it. He couldn't even protest, too bewildered by the sudden change in behavior.

It had barely touched it again when the expression of it turned softer. "..mine" Baji had almost misheard it. "my omega"

Baji's ears began to ring.

Oh.

All you've ever done was with him in mind, whether it was to protect Kazutora-san. your instincts- your alpha, that bond you hold with him has gotten you this far, so why would it betray you now?

He knew he had every right to be cautious of the fury he held deep within himself. It was fickle, dangerous. It did not differentiate between friend and foe if he let it have its unadultered reign. It was in its core the most pure destructive pieces of himself. He'd lavished in it. enjoyed every moment of carnage he'd left behind if it meant quenching the thirst for spilled blood.

Otherwise what else was there in the aftermath of it?

the war was over now. there were no more enemies to be slain. no more blood to be shed that was not that of a monster to staunch the urge for revenge.

Kazutora was alive. He was safe now. his fury had no place in the world he wanted for Kazutora. a world where his greatest worry should be what book to read. what dessert to taste.

that was the kind of world Baji had craved to give him all those years ago, hadn't he?

It seemed Kazutora and him had been equally wrong. It was not Kazutora who feared him or his own fear of losing control. no, it was—

your enemy can be your greatest teacher.

He had been quite the idiot, hadn't he? Instead of fighting against it, controlling it, suppressing it, if he'd just taken the time to understand what it had been trying to tell him, he could have saved himself and Kazutora so much grief.

his greatest enemy

the wolf damning himself just to survive

his instinct

—was the fear of losing him.

He had never quite managed to let go of it, had he? and his blinded stupidity had almost turned that fear into reality.

The sudden clap of hands had him ripped out of his thoughts "it seems almost a full moon of sheer fighting did you some good, boy. But I'm afraid we have to cut the celebration short" The masked man snapped his fingers and he found himself once more in the sleeping quarters he'd gone to after the banquet. No time seemed to have passed as he stared at the same dark nightsky he'd entered the room with.

"if you leave now, you might still be in time"

"..for what?" he asked still dazed from the battle. "trouble is brewing and its heeding towards home"

"huh?"

"you've come a long way, but the work is not done. The rest is up to you now. Make haste, before you'll come to regret it" Baji couldn't even protest for some sort of clarification.

The howling of several wolves startled him out of his stupor, his eyes snapping to the window.

When he looked back the masked figure was gone. He ran up to the window, but instead of a mask, he saw it in the distance. The flickering blue of his own flames shaped into the sigil of his family crest.

Several wolves, crimson eyes much darker than his blitzing up at him before their fiery fur dissipates with the wind around it.

what the fuck?

Distantly he heard the door to his quarters opening. "I didn't think you were one to stargaze, Commander. Quite the hidden romantic, aren't you?~"

"Tell the men to get the horses ready, we are leaving"

"Now..?" Baji's glare turned to the Beta, who stiffened up with a mock salute, not waiting to be told twice "got it, big guy. I'll tell them to be ready in ten"

Another few days passed without much difference.

Though Kazutora's sudden social circle was quite weird to think about it. He'd gotten Chou-san to say two whole sentences to him. Consecutively.

It had felt like quite an accomplishment, even if the words had been 'please ask the Lieutenant, your grace. I could not make that decision when he'd asked him to a training match. Of course, Chifuyu had refused the request and he has no proof but he thinks Chou-san looked relieved when the answer came, but his face remained blank so he couldn't actually call him out on it.

He let the sun's rays hit his face as he enjoyed the clear sky the northlands were so seldomly blessed with. It did not do much to stave off the cold but the feeling of the warm light on his skin was something he could never tire of. Not to mention seeing it glittering on the ground below the snowflakes highlighted in a pretty yellow.

"We received a letter, that Baji-san and the others are on their way back. They should be here by nightfall if they hurry, which I imagine is the case." Chifuyu sauntered over to him with enthusiasm. This was odd, too. He had not thought, there would come a time when he'd like to be in the Beta's presence but here he was, tilting his head towards his direction with one eye open. "they must starve for a bath and a warm bed. I can't fault them" he said nonchalantly drawing a cat on the snow beneath. The crookedness gave it character.

"I don't think that's why the commander would be hurrying for.." Kazutora looked at him in confusion tilting his head. What else could one possibly want?

Chifuyu remained grumbling about obliviousness and tropes he could not stand.

Before he could ask the beta began to dissolve into another one of their lessons. Kazutora had been tempted to reveal the truth to him several times, a part of him feeling bad about stringing him along about his supposed inexperience to this extent. But the amusement won out in the end and so the gimmick continued for another day.

"Are you listening?"

"Of course, Master! I would never dare to miss out on anything you have to say"

"Uhuh. what did I say then?" damn.

"Are you accusing me of lies, Lieutenant?"

"yes"

Kazutora gasped "You are besmirching my honor as… an honorable student! what would Ryu~ think?"

"I don't sound like that!" he yelled before composing himself "why do I even bother arguing with you.." Chifuyu repeated the logistics of an ice nature sealing technique that could seal a lake frozen once more (what Kazutora could need it for, he didn't know. There wasn't even a body of water inside the city walls that could amount to a lake. but he was not going to say that)

"I think showing you the movement would be easi-"

they were disrupted before he could finish his sentence, a knight on a horse rushed to them with alarm, and out of breath "Lieutenant Matsuno, your grace an emergency!" That immediately got their attention.

"A group of mercenaries are at the entry of the city walls that claim to be sent by Lord Akashi from the meadows, but we are unable to confirm that claim. They insist on coming in. It is an infantry of more than 2000 men. If they come inside and what they claim is a falsehood, they could possibly overrun the city!"

"Get my horse ready." Chifuyu spoke to one of the running boys. "I'm sorry Kazutora-san, it seems we have to cut today's lesson short" Chifuyu went to go over to change into his armor when the knight got off his horse.

"Lieutenant, since the Duke is not here, the authority to settle this… due to his recent nuptials, lies not with us but with the Duchess" he glanced at Kazutora nervously.

"so what? Now I have to bring him into the line of fire because some rule dictates it. Are you out of your goddamn mind?!" Chifuyu looked at the man aghast. Kazutora had chosen to stay quiet on the matter, watching the scene, but now the knight was looking at him again.

"It is not I that insists on this, the leader of the mercenaries seemed to be very well versed in the doctrine of our land, citing that only the Duchess - in the absence of their husband - had the authority to turn them away"

"What the fuck do I look like I'd give a damn about a stupid doctrine or what that shmuck wants!"

"Lieutenant they threatened with an attack at the slight we've caused already. Their men far outnumber our current ones. Most of these lads here are still cupbearers, unfit to fight at all. You cannot take them on your own and they know that. Our only option is for the duchess to hopefully stall them enough for us to call for reinforcements or possibly even resolve the matter altogether."

Chifuyu cursed loudly. Kazutora held his shoulder "It is fine Chifuyu. Nothing is going to happen. Let's see what the fuss is about." Kazutora gave him a reassuring smile. "those fucking Akashi loyalists! Sanzu should have just finished them all off-"

"Lieutenant-"

"..fuck, fine- fine. But you stay behind me the entire time, you hear?" he composed himself.

"Loud and clear" he saluted. Kazutora wasn't as anxious as he probably should be. He didn't need mana to fight if it came to it. He was no knight or soldier, but he'd make due.

"Bring me the armor used for the youngsters" Chifuyu barked some more orders to the rest of his men, telling them to stock their weapons.

The red-head from the first night in the barracks he thinks, is running towards them with a pile of armory. "These are all the ones still unused Chifuyu."

"put him in the right size and then we'll be off" Kazutora looks at him startled before a heavy piece of chest armor is put over his corseted top. In the back, the same is done. In the blink of an eye, he is what feels like a few tons heavier. The hell?

This would restrict him more than it would help, but he kept that to himself. He could feel the hair at his nape brushing and tangling against the straps of the armor. "Do you have a tie or ribbon perhaps of some sort?" the redhead who helped him looked helplessly to the others in hopes, but nobody seemed to have anything. Whatever he'd have to do it the old-fashioned way then.

He ripped the long elongated sleeve of his flowy shirt off before ripping that in half, too. Now he had a tie. Perfect. He began tying the bottom of his hair in a low ponytail. It had grown immensely. Perhaps it was time for a trim.

He went to the redhead who still looked at him with a dumbstruck expression. "What is your name?"

"S-sendo Atsushi, your grace"

"Okay Sendo Atsushi, I hope you don't mind if I take one of these" He tiptoed to reach one of the pins keeping the man's hair back and pinned some of his own bangs to the side. A weak "..sure" followed and Kazutora gave him a grin.

"remind me to give it back to you, okay? Let's go Chifuyu!"

It didn't take more than half an hour for them to arrive, and the ruckus up there was palpable. Most of the people living close to the walls looked on in trepidation. Chifuyu got off the horse first before helping him down as well. The men that had followed them got of theirs as well. He spoke to Chifuyu in a murmur "It is best we evacuate at least the first inner fourth at the entry. If this is to end in a squirmish of some sort, we should ensure that the civilian casualties are reduced to a minimum."

Chifuyu looked at him with a glint in his eyes, Kazutora had trouble placing. "You heard him! Evacuate the inner lining of the ring from station 2 to station 16 and stand on call appropriately. This city stands and falls with us, so get to work!" and with a salute, the small troop began their work.

Chifuyu led him to the lift that would bring them up and when they arrived at the top, Kazutora had to still for a moment to admire the view. It was breathtaking to witness. But they had no time to waste and as he made to get out, Chifuyu held him back and just as promised remained in front of him as they walked to the edge.

"Finally! How long did you want to make us wait?!" A middle-aged man of average stature, with a smug look to him that fit his whole attire stood with his horse at the bridge, and just as reported close to three thousand men in the purple colors of the Akashi House behind him.

Kazutora was not impressed. He'd dealt with men like this all his life. People were inherently evil, this man was no different. Someone who didn't differentiate between soldiers and civilians, children or women. Someone who'd unscrupulously swing his blade without any guilt for his actions. If given the chance, that was. And at the moment, Kazutora was not too fond of letting him.

He tried to look as demure as possible. "M-may I enquire what the issue is, My Lord?"

The man finally took note of him and his smile turned wider, clearly happy that whatever plan he'd been banking on was coming to fruition. "Finally the duchess graces us with his presence"

"The issue, your grace seems to be that your men seem incapable of following a simple order." He played the dramatics rather thickly. No nuance for actual craftsmanship concerning the art of acting. Kazutora avoided rolling his eyes.

"We were sent by the Akashi house to lend some of our men to the northern borders at the bequest of your husband and the Akashi family." Kazutora raised an eyebrow. Baji was the type of man who'd rather go on to the field alone than ask anybody for help. His face seemed to give away his scepsis. The man whipped out a scroll with a seal.

"I have proof right here, your grace. We were given a scroll with the Akashi insignia to show our sincerity!"

From up here it was hard to discern whether the document would be legitimate or a forgery, and that was the fool down there was probably banking on.

"If you continue to dishonor us so wrongfully we shall see this as a slight to House Akashi and act in accordance. Surely you would not wish to escalate the matter any further" The man's grin grew sleazier, clearly of the opinion, that Kazutora, the demure omegan spouse wouldn't want to cause unnecessary tension between great houses or possibly be the cause of a dispute between districts so shortly after the great war. Fifteen years ago that reasoning would have been laughable.

Now, however, an insignificant insult could be seen as a declaration of war between districts. And the first and fifth were on poor standing with each other for far longer than he was alive. But this man didn't know Kazutora already was responsible for one war. he wouldn't care to cause another. he had nothing to lose. "You are r-right, My Lord."

"what are you doing Kazutora-san?" Chifuyu asked with a hiss but he ignored him "We truly would not want to cause unnecessary bloodshed. To solve this matter, let me ask you a simple question. You claim to be so admirably loyal to the Great House Akashi"

"Indeed I am, Your Grace" The man's visage turned more serious, but he had yet to drop that ugly smile of his.

"then you should have no issue with this. Simply name the youngest of the Akashi siblings. Surely a great follower like you, who bears their banner with such pride, knows the answer to a trivial question like this"

The important thing about the Akashi family was that they remained very recluse, since the eldest brother's official 'abdication' as warden of the fifth cohort. They were still of high status and descendants of the first kings like all the great houses, but since their loss of power, not much was known about them.

If what the tigers had mentioned to be correct, then that Sanzu fellow had gone as far as to remove his birthname altogether to not be affiliated with them. If it hadn't been for the short trip to the Holy Lands, he would have not known the pink-haired Lieutenant had any sort of relation to that name.

To most, he might as well be a ghost. The same went for the rumored youngest, who while still part of the Family, had supposedly chosen a different surname to go by as well.

Kazutora did not know her name either. If the man in front of the gate were clever, he could say whatever name, and Kazutora would be forced to accept it, since only those close to the remaining Akashi siblings would be aware of that. But alas this man was as dumb as he looked ugly.

"Does there seem to be an issue, My Lord?" Kazutora asked with a leer, a gleeful smile gracing his lips as he watched the smile drop from the man's face. He, too seemed to understand that Kazutora wasn't as anxious as he made himself out to be.

"W-what a ridiculous question to ask?! Are you implying we are lying?!" The man burst into shouting "I will not forgive this slight easily!"

"Does my lord have trouble remembering? Maybe you could at least name the Island your former warden resides in? " Kazutora egged him on. That at least would have been easier to recall, after all the information had leaked to him in the Isles, so even a normal merchant would pick up on that at some point.

But by the man's previous reaction, neither he nor his men were from the fifth at all. He didn't even think they were affiliated with Toman. If his hunch was correct, these men were purposefully trying to stir tension between districts and cause instability. After all, a country at war with itself is easy prey for a foreign invasion. Kazutora was frankly irritated, he had put a lot of effort into the peaceful times, and he would be damned if he let a run-of-the-mill mercenary ruin his hard work in less than five months. Maybe his previous words about not caring if he were to provoke another war were not as truthful as he'd thought them to be.

He looked back behind him at the Northland's capital, the third largest city in all of Toman after Central and the Meadow's Euphoria. The sheer number of people.

301 103 people.

That had been the counted estimate. The Southern Isles had at one point been almost as lively. He did not like the thought of Omamori turning into the same wasteland. 301 103 citizens were counting on him to protect their home.

Now that even the last person seemed to have realized that the man's words were nothing more than empty lies, all pretenses were dropped "I guess that means no?"

"now how about you tell us where you actually originated from, hm? Rokuhara would be a bit far, but it is the closest to the northern shores… but by your attire, you must have come from a country further south. Tenjiku perhaps?"

"I will not be questioned by the whore of the Southern Isles! You will come to regret this, your men are nothing against my three thousand. When I am finished with you I will let my men have a go at you as well!" Kazutora clicked his tongue in disappointment. He at least could have been more original with his threats.

"Shoot them all up there!" that signaled the start of the attack, hundreds of arrows flew at them. Chifuyu immediately shielded him from the influx. He then released large spears of ice that he threw with accuracy into the fray, hitting several marksmen. Kazutora was impressed "Stay back, Kazutora-san!" he ordered before sending out more of his ice shards.

Kazutora turned to the gurney holding some of the weaponry. He decidedly took one of their long knives, hiding it between the folds where his legpant med the skirt.

A sudden tremor made him stumble. And he was not the only one. Most of the men in the upper lining of the wall had fallen to their knees. Another tremor shook the floor, this time more intense.

No one would try to seize a city like this without a plan to open the gates with force, he realized.

He stayed on his knees as he inched towards the edge to see what they were working with here. He'd assumed they were ramming the door, but he'd been mistaken. They were using several detonations of explosion spells.

One wouldn't be an issue, but the sheer amount of them and the quickness they were casting them were putting cracks in the wall. Maybe if he hadn't distracted Baji from handling the restoration complaint to reinfuse the sealing spell that one time, then he wouldn't have to worry about the fact that the wall might collapse now. Hindsight was a funny thing.

Still, the wall this ancient should not crumble this easily but the continuously growing cracks spoke for themselves. Something was off. He didn't like this at all.

He stumbled over to the other side when he noticed something and stopped in his tracks. His golden eyes focused on the one person handling their barrier. His eyes narrowed as the man wearing his husband's house colors was unashamedly using his own mana to enforce the firepower of their foes.

It was subtle. With every spell granting their explosions acceleration, he used five more to disguise the betrayal with illusionary spells. Clearly the ancient nature was not an innate one if it was still visible to the naked eye.

Kazutora took his dagger and was holding it to the perpetrator's neck within a second. The man stopped in his movements startled by the nick of metal on his artery. "w-what is the meaning of this, y-your grace?"

"How many of you are there?"

"w-wa-"

"How many of your fellow traitors are there?" he dug the knife deeper into his skin.

"I don't know w-what you mean, your grace! There are no trai-"

The pressure on the man's neck grew as the trickly of blood trailed down his neck. "Speak"

"three! Three, your grace"

"Who?"

"One is down at the bottom of the wall h-helping with destabilizing the wall and the other is-" Before the man can finish an arrow pierces his throat. Blood splatters on Kazutora's clothes as the man falls.

He stared owlishly at the fallen corpse. The other man destabilizing the wall would be dispatched easily but as long as the last one remained unknown, the wall would remain compromised, he thought irritated. Could that arrow not have come a moment later?

He tumbled over to one of the Gatemen responsible for the entry.

"Open the gates!" the man looked horrified.

"Your grace, you can't seriously think-"

"I am your duchess. When I say open the gates, you open the gates. Now!" he demanded.

Chifuyu grabbed his shoulder shouting at him "What the hell are you doing?! Are you trying to get us killed?"

"This was a ploy long in the making. They'll get in no matter what. It is either the gate or the whole wall that will fall. Do you prefer all of these men to die for nothing?!" He yelled, not backing down "Now either question my authority up here or win alongside me down there"

He whirled back towards the lift, took two of the leather gloves next, and forwent the shaft altogether jumping to the horrified shrieks of the men around him. Taking the lift was no longer an option and the stairs would take too long. By the time he'd make it back down, the invaders would have long seized the city.

He held onto the steel rope as he slid down at high speed. The sharp wind rushed past him. Kazutora could feel the burn through the leather. He hadn't figured out how to dampen his fall yet, but he'd wing it somehow.

He could hear a string of curses behind him before an ice slide formed underneath him cushioning his rapid fall to the ground. "Yah! do you have any self-preservation in that peanut brain of yours?!" Chifuyu yelled behind him and he was not done "Do you want Baji-san to murder me? Is that what you want, you insane -"

"Why are you surprised? What else would my issues imply if not that I'm a nutjob?" Kazutora waved off his dramatics as the other spluttered. He went past an infantryman taking his sword from his hip, ignoring his frantic "Y-your grace?!" before slashing him down. there was no time to question him about the last infiltraitor now. and leaving him unsupervised in the battle could be a possible death sentence for Omamori.

"Kazutora-san! What the fuck are you doing-"

"He was a traitor. One of them is still unaccounted for, so don't trust anyone you are not familiar with" Kazutora doesn't explain more than that. He wouldn't have had the time, even if he had wanted to. With a groan, the chains gradually moved the damaged gate open. Kazutora counted backward in his head.

6

"Hey Chifuyu, how good are you at manipulating the weather?" he asked far too casually.

5

"How do you know that is poss-"

"You're a great teacher, what can I say?" he interrupted.

4

"..I should manage" came the suspicious tone. seemed like his novice act was done with as well. a shame.

"Make sure it's a proper drizzle"

3

"Atsushi, Cho-san give him cover! Chifuyu I am not too fond of thunder cracking, try to keep it to a minimum"

"s-sure..?"

2

"All of you better not die, am I understood?"

1

"Yes, your grace!" echoed the chorus of far too young soldiers behind him.

0

the gates to the city wall groaned open. With a war cry from the other side, the battle began in a flurry of explosions he could hear groans of pain, and the gnarring of flesh being cut. Blood splattered on the snowy slush on the ground. People were falling left and right. It was an overwhelming amount of manpower. Kazutora would have really liked to tap into his own mana right now.

But at least most of the footsoldiers were no magical users at all, which made dispatching them all the easier. He swung from one man to the other. The most they could do was groan in surprise before he'd slash their chest open. His armor was sticky with red liquid. So many were lying on the ground it would be deadly if he were to stumble over them.

A sudden drop of light caught his attention and he looked to the sky. Thick black clouds were above them. He flinched. It is just Chifuyu, he told himself, the guy who'd talked his ear of about his favorite romance novel this morning. There is nothing to fear. The wind picked up as shards of hail attacked the mercenaries in floods.

At least a couple hundred of them were turned into mere stumps of flesh in a matter of heartbeats. He wrinkled his nose. It was a grotesque sight and he had a feeling Chifuyu was not fond as to fight this underhandedly. But to survive they had to be.

"Nice Job, Matsuno! I knew you had it in you" he'd advanced with shaking limbs a bit closer to the blonde, who'd been defended by Atsushi and Cho-san until this point. Chifuyu looked positively exhausted and he wheezed his reply, thankfully not noticing Kazutora's trembling hands. "..it wasn't a big deal" Kazutora weakly suppressed a snort.

"No need to be tough, you look like a breeze would knock you over" not that he had room to speak.

"I can fight perfectly fine!" the beta protested.

Kazutora looked at him with intent "Don't overdo it. That's an order."

"You're not the boss of me, but sure.." he grumbled, Kazutora rolled his eyes before ruffling his hair.

"C'mon let's win this!" and once more they went into a frenzy. Somehow Kazutora had ended up surrounded by Chifuyu, Chou-san and Atsushi on all sides of him. He was ready to protest when a swarm of soldiers charged towards them.

once more, the whole dance repeated. He stabbed the first. The second he slashed from shoulder to hip. The next one was cut down with a single swing.

Again.

He continued. Slice. Stab. Parry. Cut them down. Slice. Stab. Parry. Cut them down.

Again—

the sudden onslaught of blood spraying against his face made him freeze. For a moment it was not the purple of the false Akashi loyalist, but an obsidian so dark, it could swallow the moon that crumbled to the floor head first. with trembling fingers he touched his stained cheek coated in the familiar blood of Mister Shin- "-your grace!"

A sword appeared in front of him, blocking the axe aiming at his head. Kazutora blinked and the phantom was gone, instead of relief, shame washed over him. "I-I"

"Now's not the time, Kazutora-san! Focus!" Chifuyu berated him.

right. this was not the time to reminisce about his sins. these soldiers were risking their lives to protect him. Kazutora straightened his shoulders, the least he could do was to return the favor.

He raised his sword.

After a while, it all became a blur with a single focus. Kill before you get killed.

It was getting more exhausting by the minute, unlike the others he had never served on the war front. His strongest suit was stealth. The stamina for brute battle was not something his body had experienced. Never mind the fact that he had spent these last few months lazying about. For a morbid second he wondered when it would happen.. would he miss a step and fall only for a sword to pierce him before he could even fall to the ground?

Would he fight one invader only for another to sneak up on him before he could notice?

Would he do none of those and still fall by the hand of a more skilled fighter?

He'd always known he would not live a long life, but he thought he at least would be able to have some control over how he would meet his end… dying by the fake Akashi loyalists of all things sounded rather embarrassing. But his breathing was getting heavier. And his movements more sluggish. It would not be long before his own body would turn into a liability.

boom!

his ears rang before survival instinct made him close his eyes, ducking to shield himself with his arm as gravel rose with… a sudden blast. It rattled his whole body. …what? he opened his eyes to another-

boom!

This time closer to him. He bit down the urge to shrink in fear. His ears were still ringing from the pushback of the previous blast.

…they were throwing explosives, it dawned on him.

Another groan from further back alerted him. With horror, he watched as the wall above the gate began to crumble. He could hear the distant screams of people falling to their deaths, of people being crushed underneath the heavy stone and rubble.

the worst-case.scenario, previously a far-off thought was now a bitter reality.

It had been for nothing…

His plan had made no difference. Those men had trusted his orders and now they were dead. Most of them had been the same age as the recruits who had trained in the fields.

Nausea filled him. How many lives were cut short because of him now? How many men had he just ordered to their deaths, he wondered numbly.

the poor boys. I think I was their age when you murdered me, hm?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mister- His eyes stung as he caught the eye of one of his opponents, who had shock similarly written over their face…

His eyes widened.

Indiscriminately, he thought hysterically—looking around- their own men were collateral to lure them out, from the very beginning, they had planned on burning the whole city down. and Kazutora had fallen right into it.

Whoever was behind this, had been pulling the strings for quite some time. To know exactly when the Warden of the Northlands would not be here to protect it, to have the mercenary group ready, considering the alpha had pulled his excursion ahead of schedule. They were of a different caliber.

Death did not discriminate. Whether willfully or not. A sin remained a sin. And Kazutora's tally had just risen to new heights.

"-WATCH OUT!"Chifuyu's voice ripped him off his trance, but by then, he didn't have any time to react. The last thing he saw was a shadow in front of him propped up like a shield-

BOOM!

For a single moment it felt like he was levitating as he floated with the gravel dancing around him.

.

.

.

.

Several explosions threw both enemy and ally with so much force that Kazutora felt himself fly several feet away from where he'd previously been before his back was harshly flung onto the ground with a loud crack.

A silent scream left his lips as the pain hurled through his whole body up to his fingertips. He couldn't-

breathe.

His lungs spasmed. He couldn't—

The impact had stolen his lungs, he thought in panic. the explosions had carved them out of his chest and taken them hostage. He could not breathe.

get up, he thought. get up, idiot the enemy will not wait. For an agonizing moment, his lungs spasmed again much more painfully before his airway relieved itself of the pressure and he could finally take his first proper breath again with an agonizing cry.

The only thing his mind could make out was his own wheezing. In alarm, his hands flew to the rest of his limbs to check if they were still attached. In his hurry, Kazutora tried to get up disoriented and stumbling right back.

His ears were ringing. Blurry eyes watched the mouths of some move with despair. It looked as if they were screaming. But h-he..

He couldn't hear anything.

He stumbled forward before falling back to his knees. Chifuyu… he had screamed at Kazutora, hadn't he-

why had he screamed..? he thought owlishly before his eyes widenend. the explosion-

he had been just next to him when the explosion had hit. Kazutora picked himself up but fell again. Where was he.?

His eyes had trouble focusing, he could feel liquid drip down his temple. He absentmindedly used his hand to wipe some of it away but it was no use. It was as if a faucet that would not shut off.

The smell of gunpowder filled his nose, he tasted metal on his teeth. Where was Chifuyu? He whipped his head from side to side in search of him, his head throbbing with the motion.

His heart stopped, finding cherry-red hair, for the life of him, he could not recall his name "Redhead! - have you— have you seen Chifuyu or Chou-san?" he choked between gasps as he tried to rush over to him, but was stopped by something in his peripheral.

His heart dropped.

No.

no no

Red, red. So much red.

He blinked, daring the image in front of him to vanish.

.

.

.

It wouldn't.

itwouldntitwouldntitwouldntitwouldntitwouldntitwouldntitwouldnt-

A choked sob escaped him. right next to one another they lay. Chou-san was half-way upright, his body tilted to one side, parts of his chest missing, his eyes vacantly staring ahead.

dead.

he stumbled forward. He fell over and over, but he barely registered it. It took him several tries to finally reach him. Chou-san wasn't. Chou-san wasn't. this was all a bad dream. he'd wake any moment, surely to Chifuyu reprimanding him as Chou-san hovered behind them. his legs gave out as he reached him, his tears mixing with the blood on his face. reflexively, he went to check his pulse when the gaping hole in his throat made him freeze.

oh my ~another one dead. aren't you something?

he pinched his thigh until the ringing in his ears left. "..your grace. I'm sorry" came the distant voice of the cherry-haired boy.

why was he apologizing to him? He blinked owlishly, when warm liquid touched his knees still on the ground. his head turned to the side.

oh.

A small person should not contain this much blood, he thoguht numbly. There lying on the ground surrounded by a pool of crimson lay Mister Shin- Chifuyu, most of his blond hair unrecognizable.

There was so much red. Blood was oozing from his skull. His face was covered in it. So much red. just like Mister Shi-

"Chifuyu, wake up. It's not funny" he shook the beta's unmoving shoulder. "I'm sorry for pranking you, but that's enough, okay? You and Chou-san are taking it too far" his voice broke off hoarsely. "I ordered you not to die, is it so difficult to follow or is it because I am not Baji? If Baji had told you, you would have never defied him" hysteria bubbled up in him as he stared between both of them. But you told him to die before, did you forget?

another sob broke out of his throat. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it-

please. please. please no.

His hands lifted to touch him when he flinched back. Up close he could see that most of his face was covered in blood. red red red. He shut his eyes, unable to stomach it. His hand trembled as it went to his trachea.

If the gods did exist, let them grand him at least this. let them take Kazutora instead.

give him back. Dread filled him Please please, please. His fingers went to his artery and….

nothing.

.

.

.

He felt bile coming up his throat. Why are you sad? you wanted to see if he colored the same shade as-

"Your grace is he..?" He didn't even register the redhead's presence. Too focused to feel the vein under his fingertips. give him back. he waited, not daring to breathe. pleasepleasepleaseplease not again. not again like this

don't take him, too—

thump…

.

.

thump…

.

.

thump…

his breath hitched when he felt the slight sensation on his fingertips.

the weak pulse of his veins still cursing Chifuyu's blood through his system. He slumped over in relief, tears freely falling from his eyes.

He'd thought he'd- his breath turned into a dry sob. Chifuyu was alive-

His eyes snapped back to the bloody mess underneath the Beta.

He looked around them, averting his gaze before he could meet the vacant gaze of Chou-san once more. too many bodies littered the floor yet the fight remained still underhand.

"your grace, we have to get him out of here" Kazutora nodded robotically. He was right. With strength he didn't have Kazutora tried to drag him away from the field with the redheaded boy. It wasn't safe here. at least let Baji's best friend make it out alive.

A medic, he thought- Chifuyu needed a medic "We need a doctor.." he whispered. Dread filled him. No.. he couldn't survive just to die like this now. Kazutora refused to let that happen.

Suddenly the Beta dropped Chifuyu in alarm, "Your Grace!-" screaming before a blade swung a few millimeters from Kazutora's face. Kazutora blinked, the last thing that reached his ears was the blade swinging down once more this time in Chifuyu's direction with no one there to shield him from the blast now.

The blade stopped mid-swing. Both Atsushi and the attacker looked surprised at the abrupt halt. When they looked down, they saw the bloodied blade, trembling but it had not touched the Lieutenant at all, stopping millimeters away from him.

Atsushi's eyes widened when his gaze trailed down the blade to a bare hand clutching it tightly. Even as the attacker tried to jerk it away with surprise, the grip would not loosen no matter how deeply it cut into the flesh.

Kazutora could only hear white noise, his mind focused on only one thing. He looked unblinkingly at the man, who had dared to stop them from getting Chifuyu the help he needed. - it was that piece of shit with the self-satisfied smile, that had started this. It was his fault. His mind whispered melodically.

his fault.

his fault.

his fault.

his fault. hisfaulthisfaulthisfault-

It was all his fault.

His skin tingled. and then there was nothing.

.

.

.

.

"I shall burden your crimes" he spoke mechanically and got up. With a swift movement, he ripped the sword from the man's grip, not caring if the blade itself cut his hand to the bone, before throwing it to the far side.

The man stood there baffled before he was kicked so hard he flew a few feet back into the mids of the field, retching on the ground. In the next moment, something hit him in the chest, shattering most of his ribs. He howled in pain, wheezing for air. One of the intruder's men tried to aid him, but his head rolled to the ground before he'd reached his leader.

In horror, he watched as most of his men were squashed like flies.

They were reduced to less than three hundred in a matter of minutes. Those still standing did not dare move forward to engage with the monster. Most of them trying to run off. and in the middle of the bloodbath there he stood.

The beast, clad in iron and blood, breathed heavily as he ripped another head off with calmness. Its menacing eyes glowing gold—

"Lower your head" the command came and friend and foe alike stumbled to their knees, their heads lowered in fear so primally ingrained in their body, they had moved downwards before their minds could have even contemplated the notion. The order had been clear. Do as it demands if you wish to live— Instinct warning them to abide by the order.

Those who did not heed its warning soon fell forward, their decapitated heads rolling next to their unmoving bodies.

As if time stood still, the monster's head turned to the kingpin again.

The hair on his neck raised involuntarily.

The thought came too late.

This was no mortal.

The dreadful realization as it approached… another thing became clear. The wind moved the hair strands away from the golden eyes.

the monster—-

Beware the Ice Prince, he'd been warned and taken precaution and rightly so as he'd watched the Ice-wielder anihilate hundreds of his men in mere seconds. Victory had been at his feet when he'd seen his unconscious body laying on the ground. One hit to his heart and the city would have been his. the citywalls that had stood against thousands of attacks, felled by his hands. He would have gone down in the books of history.

Yet—

it had not been the walls nor the Ice Prince, that became his downfall in the end. No… It was the puny Omega wife of the northern warden, that had not been worth a footnote in the intel he'd received.

And it had been him, that had ruthlessly massacred two-third his men.

and he was slowly advancing towards him in the center of the plaza. Both of them were now surrounded by a large circle of people, foe and comrade alike trembling in terror, bowing down to him in a parody of worship.

He tried to scramble away, but the blood filling his lungs would not let him move at all. Tears burned in his eyes. He couldn't go like this. He wouldn't die by the hands of the lesser designation. He shakily crawled backwards. "don't come closer!" his command failed, but the monster did not stop. "get away frOM ME!" he choked out, desperation coating his every syllable as blood spilled down his chin.

The omega arrived before him. tears unwillingly spilled from the invader's eyes as he watched those golden eyes furrow in sorrow..?

His breath stilled. The Kingdom of Toman followed the faith of its forefathers for more than a millenium, didn't it? his own upbringing had not allowed for the privilege of a belief. but he was no fool. in front of him was neither mortal nor monster. his heart ached in understanding and regret alike. this was the Bearer of—

he should have not come here

the one who—

he should have never come here

the granter of "…m-mercy, please, your grace" he pleaded in reverence. he should have never agreed to the deal, reward be damned. he'd been promised a city of tenderfeeted amateurs, the only one of considerable threat the dying Lieutenant of the Bloody Hollow.

…Nobody had told him it was guarded by one of the six, he thought bitterly.

"Mercy?" He tilted his head in curious consideration like the man had only ever seen in a feline. For a moment as the orange hues of the setting sun hit his bloodied frame, it looked as if feathery wings of gold were embracing the most merciful.

ah. this was what being in the face of divinity was. hope filled him, still he dared not face him as he lowered his head deeper into the ground.

"This is my mercy" the glint of the metal lifted. He was going to die, the understanding crashed into him with horror. The deity reached for him and he waited for the pain to erupt, but instead, time seemed to still before it could touch him.

no, not by time. he'd been stopped by a single call of his name, he noted faintly before succumbing to the pressure.

"Kazutora"

Atsushi watched the confused duchess turn towards the entrance, his own ears still ringing. but before he could follow his gaze, the air around him turned heavy, making him slump forwards with a choke.

then he heard it.

like a sharp stone scraping against metal, the high-pitched scream of a wounded animal rang through all of Omamori. itwas an awful heartbeat, maybe two, maybe less but it felt like an eternity all the same. Atsushi trembled, his sweatsoaked forehead kissing the ground, before he could even dare to open his eyes again to straighten.

He'd barely raised his head, when he watched

In horror, the duchess crumble like a house of cards- he was falling- Atsushi stumbled forward to catch him, but to his surprise, the omega was caught before his body could make contact with the ground.

With his ears still ringing, Atsushi's bleary eyes trailed upwards and—

He let out a sob as relief washed over his whole body, slumping forward once more. Tears filled his eyes as they fell on the dark wolf crest bestowed to only one family in the realm.

It took him a moment to register the swarms of newcomers. The northern stronghold quickly trickled into the city. Soldiers with the wolf crest filled the plaza, he could feel himself let out another sob—

the commander-

He'd finally arrived.

His head once more turned to look at him and shuddered, the scent of raging wildfire all-consuming before it was gone just as quickly, replaced by the freshness of pine trees. But..

if he concentrated, the smoke would not completely evaporate. More like it was just waiting to claim the air once more, only being kept at bay by a single string.

Atsushi's eyes trailed down to the motionless omega in the alpha's hold and it clicked.

Ah, of course. Most of the alpha's expression was covered by his long hair as he gazed down at the small frame of his wife. Only now that the alpha was there to compare did he notice how fragile the duchess seemed compared to him.

Atsushi could see the alpha's knuckles whitening for a fraction of a moment, before loosening, one arm slinking underneath the duchess's legs to cradle him to his body, whispering something to the other like he had done it a thousand times before. And he surely must have.

The beta felt like the moment was not meant for him or anyone else to witness, but somehow he couldn't pry his eyes away.

A gasp of pain had his eyes fall back to the duchess and Atsushi recognized the previous animalistic whail he'd heard… had come from him.

"the water… it's cold-" Kazutora whispered weakly with glassy eyes before he went deathly still. His chest did not rise and for a moment time froze.

.

.

.

Nobody dared to move an inch, bodies frozen collectively until

the small stutter of movement in the duchess's chest returned. Like a marionette whose strings had been finally cut, a sigh of relief went through them all, the omega was still breathing. Haggardly and with tremors, but breathing.

Atsushi regained his composure first. They needed healers. He shouted before he could think better of it "What are you waiting for, Lord Kazutora won, we have to capture whose left! The wounded need to be treated. Get a doctor from the evacuation zone, We are not losing anybody else today!" He screamed as he turned away from the duchess and back to the Lieutenant. The Duchess was in the safest hands he could be and Chifuyu was in dire need of a healer.

His chest squeezed at the tall man that was still leaning against the rubble. any help too late for him. He hadn't deserved to go like that.

…but had any of the lads?

he shook his head, this was not the time for this.

To his surprise the pink-haired mage was by Chifuyu's side before he could be, bandaging what he could of his head while casting some sort of spell, his usually relaxed expression exchanged for a more panicked one.

"I placed a time-stopper on him, My Lord" Atsushi hoarsely explained. The mage's dark eyes turned to him, his spell stopping "..good thinking, without it he might have bled out. At least I know why my own spell aint working."

"I can release it-" Atsushi's own healing magic was only subpar, but he prayed to the gods that his time-stop was enough. It had to be enough.

"don't bother, it should remain until an actual practitioner of the healing arts gets his hands on him." his gaze remained in the distance, Atsushi's own eyes followed with a plumetting stomach when he turned towards the marred body of the stoic man. the mage did not speak for a while. "…we should get shrouds to cover-"

"I will see to it, My Lord"

cold— it was s-so cold, a painful gasp left his lips. his whole body shook as the icy cold water filled his lungs, his body turning rigid. he couldn't-

the surface of was getting further away, he couldn't break through the surface. his body would not heed his call to swim upward.

"I'll get you warm" his limbs slackened in relief. right, he was a dummy.. alpha would keep him warm, the icy water wouldn't be able to get to him now.

Baji quickly left for makeshift tents, fright eating at him. Where he had been able to touch Kazutora's skin, it felt scalding, like only being in contact with bare fire could be. cold, he'd said the water was cold- it made no sense. he clenched his teeth as he carried him inside. So busy with making sure not to jostle him all too much, he realized his wife was slurring something again, his eyes were closed, but he could see them move jerkily behind his eyelids. "I hafta— - help hi-"

"you did, love- you can rest now" he whispered, the hot coal of shame taking residency in the pit of his stomach. He'd barely even laid him down in the cot correctly before Kazutora suddenly jerked awake glassy-eyed, wheezing for air. "I need to-"

He grabbed his shoulder before the omega had the chance to stand up. "rest. I will take care of the rest" Kazutora's dazed eyes fell shut for a moment, his body slumping back into the cot with an exhausted nod. he looked like death had just barely scraped him by. and it probably had, he thought with regret.

Baji clenched his teeth so hard, he could taste the familiar metal that came with a punch to the face. The vein in his neck pulsed in fury. The longer he stared at the unmoving form of Kazutora the more he wanted to fucking kill-

cold, he said it was cold. focus.

His eyes scanned around the sparse place and found nothing.

"..your grace. Lord Ryusei sent me to check the duchess' condition"

"go ahead. I'll be right back" He forced his hands to unclench as he stormed out of the tent in search of a blanket, before he stopped turning towards the elderly man "if I so much as sense any worsening of his state, your head will match the ones outside"

Atsushi didn't know when he'd suddenly be upgraded to personal assistant, but there were worse jobs to go around right now as Chifuyu's lover (?) the magician rattled several tasks to him.

"I'll be leaving for the chapel to check on Chifuyu's condition shortly-"

The mage's voice stopped as a dark presence loomed closer. Atsushi's head snapped behind himself, meeting the commander's red eyes, ready for murder as he marched towards them. Atsushi instinctively stepped back.

"You."

He swallowed, sweat trickling down his neck.

Of course, he would be singled out. He should have remained in Central, he thought mournfully. he prayed the alpha would make his death a painless one.

When Kazutora came to again in a daze, a physician stood by him, patiently dabbing away the blood on his forehead, he noted distantly "You were fortunate, your grace. Any deeper and you would have been left with a nasty scar on your forehead"

"Phew doc. Almost could have lost my staple there" he tried to joke hoarsely, but it fell flat.

"I'm afraid the same cannot be said about your left palm, your grace. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you purposefully slashed your hand with the steel of a sword. It needs several stitches. It is still bleeding quite a bit. I'll see to it that I find some crushed poppy flower seedlings to numb the pain before I begin." the elder beta smiled kindly at him, then left swiftly to rummage for what he needed with the help of some others. there were wounded sitting in cots further away, luckily their injuries were not life-threatening if their conscious state was anything to go by.

Kazutora felt a bit out of it. He didn't remember much after the sword had almost hit him the first time. Everything felt like a blur. He still wondered how they had made it out of the fight. Had they won- lost? Fear overtook him before rational thought reminded him- he wouldn't be here getting treatment if it was the latter surely. a far more grusome reality would have greeted him, if that were the case…

His eyes closed, trying to find anything in his memories only to come up empty. His head was pounding uncomfortably

.

.

.

Kazutora's eyes snapped to the entry of the tent a heartbeat before it opened with such force, that he thought the fight was still going with his hand ready to grab anything in his vicinity to use as a weapon.

Everybody inside stopped dead in their tracks, their instincts haywire trying to assess the threat level. But then the smell of pine and smoke hit him and something uncurled inside of him. The rest of the people followed his example and continued their work, even if turned more stiffly than before.

He met the stormy gaze of his husband head-on, trying to depict the complicated expression pinning him down, the tension rose the longer he mustered him. Fury was too small a word to explain the look in his eyes.

The alpha zeroed in on his temple, his nose flaring, as he went down the rest of his body his expression grew all the more dark. Kazutora just continued watching him apprehensively, waiting for him to say something.

yell, scold, curse-anything.

Kazutora hadn't held back much in their last encounter. He didn't expect the alpha to have any kind words to spare for him after the destruction he'd caused out there by having the gates opened and then demolished anyway.

The tension broke when the doctor came back "I apologize, your grace.. but it is of most importance that the palm receives proper stitching to heal properly" At the mention of the wound, Baji's eyes grew stormier. But he obliged all the same. He stepped forward and sat on the seat next to the cot. Only when he felt the shuffling next to him before a warm blanket was draped around his shoulders did he realize the alpha had been carrying a blanket. A shudder went through his body as some of the stiffness left his body. funny, he hadn't even noticed, how cold he'd felt as he melted into the warmth.

Soon after, the doctor handed him the tea of diluted poppy seeds, Kazutora shakily held it to his lips with his uninjured hand. It slipped out of his grip but before it could fall Baji's hand steadied his as he took a sip. he tried not to choke at the intense gaze. He should get a grip. This was not the first time the alpha had held his cup or stared at him unblinkingly. Granted both of those things happened while he'd been in a rut, but Kazutora hadn't made a big matter out of it then, so there was no reason to do so now, he reprimanded himself.

Baji hadn't spoken a word since he arrived, but Kazutora could tell he was fuming. He must have not been too amused at what Kazutora had done to his ancient city wall. For a terrifying moment, he thought, what if he thought I did it purposefully? What if he thought Kazutora was a traitor? He had let Toman invade the Isles to overthrow the southern capital. What if he thought he was letting the same thing happen to Omamori-

"about the wall-" he began.

"not now" Kazutora bit his lip, aborting his explanation. he shamefully ducked to the floor as he took another sip. He swallowed, he'd never been at the receiving end of this side of the alpha's ire, but after the last couple of weeks of icing each other out, what had he expected? for him to receive him with open arms? as if..

The last of the northerner's patience must have crumbled with the wall. He wanted to explain- to tell him why he had the gate opened, but the alpha was not willing to hear him out.

Of course, Kazutora hadn't expected him to be excited about what had occurred. And it did nothing to alleviate the nausea squirming in his stomach. Not even the awful taste of the tea could distract him from it.

When he finished, the doctor spoke once more "The tea should show effect in a few seconds. But due to the deepness of the wound, you most certainly will still be in a lot of pain, your grace. I'll try to finish as quickly as possible" that sounded just terrific.

He was going to be in what would surely be agonizing pain in front of a row of strangers, who'd stare at him with the only person he knew, livid at him. he would lose any semblance of respect he could have had before the hour would be up. Not that he had much of, to begin with..

"I want everybody that is not currently on death's doorstep out of the tent in the next ten seconds." and Baji kicked him while he was down. Here he thought the man would wait and let him have it in the privacy of the castle. Even if they were all outside, the tent was not sound-absorbant. Well, at least the berating would distract him from the upcoming needlework his hand was bound to receive.

He watched as they all deserted the place without protest. "You must not worry, your grace. All of the severe cases are in the other tent, so this wasn't too much trouble" the man reassured him kindly. Kazutora didn't want to tell the man, that the person whose hide he was worrying about was his own.

The man stretched Kazutora's arm out to lay his hand on a soft cushion. It was uncomfortable to have his palm facing upward, but since he had to grip the blade instead of disarming the guy swinging it, he couldn't do anything about it. Kazutora prepped himself mentally for the incoming pain. one would think that after all the beatings his sire had instilled in him, he'd grown more numb to the pain and for a time it might as well have been the case. but that hadn't been very long lived. In his teenage years he turned more sensitive to it from one moment to the other and he had been thankful he hadn't been in his sire's clutches when it occured.

no, it had been a simple bump of his hip against the sharp edge of a tavern table. for an unexplainable reason, it had felt as if somebody had punched the spot wiht an enhanced iron fist. he had been unable to move and tears had spilled from his eyes. it had been an embarassing discovery especially after he had to lie to the hostess about an allergic reaction to the pheromones he couldn't even smell to make it more believeable.

A calloused hand grabbed his uninjured one and interlocked their fingers, successfully wrenching him out of his memories. Kazutora stared surprised at Baji's hands intertwined with his. His chest squeezed uncomfortably as the realization hit him. It had been so long since the alpha had touched him out of his own accord. But his surprise did not remain for long as the doctor began his procedure.

fuck.

shit.

fuck. fuck.

He tried to stifle his pained whimpers, holding on to Baji's arm like a lifeline. Tears burned behind his closed eyes, as he tried to breathe through the agonizing pain of a thick needle boring through his mangled skin tissue over and over. His body tried to arch away from the pain, but the doctor anticipated his movement, holding his wrist tightly. he lurged, panic filling his every fiber.

it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, oh gods

ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts-

he couldn't breathe, his ears were ringing. why wouldn't he stop? stop, stop, stopp-

his lungs constricted, a wounded sound wretching itself out of his hoarse throat. Kazutora couldn't even feel any shame as he struggled for air. and the ringing would not stop-

oh gods, he couldn't breathe.

.

.

.

"breathe" as if in a spell his lungs unwinded from their previous stupor and he was able to breathe, just as he'd been told. a forest of pine trees filled his body, making him wonder dazed, why he had such trouble to breathe to begin with.

Kazutora blinked away the spots appearing in his vision. His whole body was shaking with tremors, he noted. But at least the ringing had subsided.

"we can take a longer moment before we continue?" …what? he turned to his injured hand to see the old Beta had stopped midway through his task, his nervous expression turned towards the alpha.

"no, it's fi-" he wanted to say, but the hoarseness in his voice had caught him so off-guard, it made him abandon his train of thought. He tried to take a deep breath, but even that turned into a mixture of a snivel and a broken stutter. For a stupid moment, he thought, he might be catching a cold, when a handkerchief began to wipe the wetness from his face. He stilled, dumbfounded.

ah… that was rather embarrassing. Had he truly cried?

He cursed himself and his stupid limb. Why did so many nerves have to be concentrated in a single hand?

The handkerchief vanished and found his own face buried into Baji's shoulder as the hand holding had turned into him holding Baji's whole elbow hostage. As if burned he let go only to realize with humiliation the alpha seemingly had let Kazutora crawl almost on top of him through the process. he opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. What could he say right now to salvage what little had remained of his pride. Dying might have been a better outcome to this.

"Shall we continue, your graces?"

Baji didn't answer and after a few long seconds he recognized he was waiting for Kazutora's okay. He quickly nodded towards the old beta. Prolonging it would only make it worse, the quicker they were done with this, the quicker Kazutora could put his mind to more important matters. Like not occupying his husband's lap.

With every stitch of the needle, his whole frame jerked, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it. But oddly enough, Baji made sure to hold him tightly, releasing his scent to comfort him, and by the end, he felt like somebody had cartwheeled him into the broken gate outside several times and then some, woozy as if he'd taken some sort of drug, which he had, now that he thought of it. the tea had quite the potency.

He almost teared up in relief again, when the doctor announced that he was done and put on a stinging salve to stave off any future inflammation and would bandage it up, so the damaged hand could heal properly. He could uncomfortably feel the pull of his skin where the needle had just been

"I'll do the bandages." Kazutora and the doctor looked at the alpha. One with confusion the other with acceptance. he was not the latter.

"As you wish, your grace" the doctor nodded and placed the bandages on the tray before he disappeared out of the tent before he could protest his departure.

And now there were two, he thought dreadfully as Baji started methodically unfolding the bandage over his fingers and palm. The haziness in his mind vanished to make room for something more sobering.

The alpha didn't speak nor say a harsh word as Kazutora had expected him to. The alpha's bandaging wasn't rough, either, standing in high contrast with the darkening expression on the man's face.

"…Are you angry?" he asked before he could think better of it.

"Yes" came the clipped answer, shattering any hope of any semblance of delusion he could have fed to himself. He swallowed, reprimanding himself internally. He shouldn't feel so dejected by a simple word. "I see…"

Best to keep his mouth shut then and wait for Baji's fury to subside…soon. He snuck another glance at the man, gulping at the twitching of the alpha's clenched jaw. Maybe not that soon.

It didn't take long for him to finish and Kazutora began to get up.

"What do you think you're doing?" He froze at the irritated tone "…the others probably need help with-" he tried to justify himself, but was quickly shut down.

"What makes you think you are needed for that?" The harshness of those words hit him like a slap to the face. Shame filled his whole body, he felt like a dear caught at the mouth of a hunting rifle "I thought…" before he dropped his head, the words dying in his throat.. He'd thought that after fighting with the other Northmen…

He swallowed the emotion bubbling in his throat. What a ridiculous notion of him, he didn't know what he'd been thinking. He wasn't a northerner to begin with. What happened out there was none of his business. He was a southerner, a stranger to these people. Baji was just the one to point it out. There weren't Kazutora's people, they were his.

I don't want my men to pay for it, the words of the alpha rung in his head and what had Kazutora done? Spit on that wish. He'd brought them all into jeopardy… if only he had stalled for a bit longer, the problem would have been solved without Kazutora destroying everything the alpha held dear.

"I'll get a carriage ready for you. You're going back to the castle." Kazutora nodded, his head remained downturned. He wanted the ground to swallow him whole or for those invaders to finish what they had begun, it would have been less humiliating. He heard the alpha step outside and then he was alone in the dimly lit tent. He breathed out heavily, deflating like a balloon.

"you're a fool.." the omega mumbled to himself. He closed his eyes tightly to stop them from burning, chastising himself for his foolish delusions. He should know better by now.

'you thought you were one of them? How sweet' a syrupy voice rasped, making him jump. His heartbeat pulsed in his throat, his head whipped around.

…there was no one there.

He swallowed again, his throat suddenly drier than paper. It felt like the walls of the tent were closing in on him, his breathing quickened. He tried scratching his neck, but the borrowed armor obstructed his movements. He tried taking a lungful of air-

this wasn't a big deal, he told himself. Everything was fine. Don't think of it. Ignore it. It holds no power.

Sweat rolled down his forehead which told a different story. It felt like the tent's temperature was rising. Or was it his?

"-your grace?"

"Huh?" Kazutora's head snapped forward again. The redhead from the battle stood before him, worry lining his eyebrows. The man hesitated before repeating himself. "Is everything alright, your grace?"

"Yes. of course. Why are you here?" his smile felt too tight on his face. "Commander Baji tasked me to fetch you … I am here to escort you back to the castle" Kazutora nodded getting up hastily, his vision blackened for a moment.

"y-your grace!" came in alarm, but Kazutora held his arm up, stopping the man from giving him a hand. He didn't think he could bear it right now. "I'm fine, just stood up too fast" he softly mumbled.

He remembered the weight holding him down and stopped in his tracks. ".. while you're here, help me remove this steel cage" The redhead immediately went to work and Kazutora felt immediate regret as soon as the beta's fingers brushed against him, freezing up. The Beta, too stopped for a moment and now he would definitely think him a freak of some kind. But to his surprise, instead, he went back to removing the straps and metal, this time a bit slower. Only when the last part fell to the floor did the omega notice that the redhead had not touched him a second time.

He looked down on himself when it was done and was stunned at the state of his garments. Most of what remained of his light-colored, silk tunic was bloodied and sticking uncomfortably to his skin, safe for his right arm, where he'd ripped it while still in the training fields. The small part he'd ripped had turned into a slash going up to his shoulder, effectively making it some loose straps of fabric hanging onto his body.

His outer skirt had also ripped in several places, and charred in others. Similar to his top half it had lost any of its original light color and turned a mixture between greyish muck and red spots of blood.

The breeches underneath seemed to be the least damaged, granted most of the brunt had been taken by everything else. The pants weren't any less dirty, but at least they weren't shredded, otherwise the walk outside might have been a different type of uncomfortable. By the sounds of the commotion, a lot of people were out there.

The redhead held the tent open for him, and Kazutora gave him a stiff nod in thanks. Outside the first thing he did was squint his eyes at the change of light. He should have expected that, he thought, his eyes blinking rapidly.

When his eyes finally adjusted he was stumped. Soldiers, he recognized from the platoon that had left for the expedition were cleaning up the debris, doctors and nurses tending to the minor injuries, elder women and children, who'd had procured a whole stand with huge pots of steaming soup or stew?- by the smell of it - filling one bowl after the other for the ones in line. But that was not what had made him freeze.

It was the fact that everybody seemingly had stopped whatever they were doing-

And all their eyes were on him.

The skin on the back of his neck prickled. He blinked again. and just like that the world continued turning on its axis as every single one moved simultaneously. Pots and bowls clattering, carts dropping and rolls of bandages falling.

"Your Grace!"

an influx of greetings bombarded him from all sides. He froze barely registering what was said, trying in vain to answer. "-heard you've been injured, your grace!"

"It's fine, I-"

"He protected the city from these wicked invaders-"

"ahh.. it was mostly thanks to the others-" he interjected.

"-owe our lives-"

"Uhh.."

"-eaten anything yet?"

"Thank you, but I'm not hungr-"

"-needs space-"

Every time he tried to answer, another would interrupt before he'd even formed a sentence fully. Everyone was talking over each other. A huge crowd extended in front of him and Kazutora's ears were ringing.

The redhead seemed to have spotted someone and looked at him. Kazutora couldn't help the relief that washed over him as the beta stood in front of him.

"honored to be in your pres-"

"EXSCuse me, but we have to-" before he'd even finished his own sentence, the redhead dashed forward to shoulder through the crowd and make some room for him, but to Kazutora's surprise, they parted like the sea in front of them. He hadn't even thought he'd be successful. Every person he passed, bowed to him, leaving his stomach squirming. He didn't understand at all what was happening. The redheaded soldier continued to walk in front of him as if the whole occurence was completely normal.

He spotted Ryusei to the side of another tent speaking to an older man as they seemingly made their way to him. His guts clenched, this must have been the person, the redhead had spotted.

Ryusei's face turned in his direction and he watched as his eyes widened and mouth opened in surprise. He'd never seen him emote so much emotion, that was not due to his teasing.

For a moment Kazutora hesitated. Ryusei had left Chifuyu with a teasing grin and a promise of souvenirs the latter had complained. And what had he come back to? The man he cared for hanging between life and death and it was all Kazutora's fault

…He didn't even know if he was still underneath the living. Had he perished while Kazutora had been complaining about a slash to his hand? Panic grew in him. He had been so selfishly occupied with his own problems, that he'd completely forgotten about the man that had put his life on the line for him. What if he was dead like Nanny, like Mister Shinichiro, like Chou-san

Then go die. And now he actually might have. What if he didn't make it? What if those words he'd said out of spite and anger had been what had prompted the Beta into his actions-

His eyes stung at the thought. How much more blood would have to stain Kazutora's fingers until he finally learned? Mother was right, he was a demon that only brought misfortune to those that dared to come close to him.

He should not be here. He deserved to die in that explosion, not Chou-san, not Chifuyu, not the young boys that had so enthusiastically tried to show of their amateur swordskills-

In the end, he didn't have to make up his mind, Ryusei stepped toward him with a bow, "I'm glad to see your condition is not too severe, your grace" Kazutora bit his lip, and the words felt like hot coal burning through his stomach. He didn't know whether Ryusei was being sincere, but the words stung either way. "About Chifuyu-"

"He was brought to the chapel's infirmary rooms. The Healers there are working on him. I'm going to head there. Do you wish to accompany me?" Ryusei was composed, his voice didn't give an inclination that one of his closest 'friends' was currently severely injured. But Kazutora knew. His skin had a grayish tint, his eyes were dull. Like they'd given up searching for any light to flicker through.

Kazutora did this to him. to them all. "If it wasn't for me.."

He clenched his fist. Chifuyu came out of his way to keep him company, and how had Kazutora thanked him? By sending him to death's door.

He ruined everyone who came too close to him. Of course, people like Baji wouldn't want the guy responsible for his Lieutnants' condition to stick around and be a branding reminder, of what he'd caused.

"Do not dishonor his choice" Kazutora couldn't bear to face him as the words rattled his whole frame. "He is a knight, who swore an oath to put his life on the line to protect those in need."

The words hit him like a sucker punch. Is this some oath about how you'll nobly lay your life down for me?

Kazutora wasn't worth protecting. Then go die. Then go die. Then go die.

He'd protected the wrong person. Monsters like him weren't deserving of protection. He belonged to the kind you protect others from.

"He wouldn't be the man I know if he'd chosen the cowardly route to only save himself. the same goes- went for Chou-san" Ryusei stopped to correct himself, his shoulders drooping. "Though it pains me. I wish Chifuyu would be at least a bit more selfish. But I made my peace with the type of man he's chosen to be." he chuckled drily, the laugh not reaching his eyes.

Kazutora nodded more out of obligation than actual agreement to his words, not wanting to argue fruitlessly. "Do you wish to come with me, your grace?" Ryusei asked him again. He wanted to… the last he'd seen of the blond was blood pouring from his head, half his face almost unrecognizable.. His eyes landed on his bandaged hand, the sting flaming anew. He was useless. It wrenched his chest. "The remains have also been brought there as well if you wish to bid farewell to-"

He had no room here. There was no need to burden them any further.

"… I think I shouldn't." Ryusei looked taken aback. Kazutora bit his lip, not elaborating further. He had no right to visit the dead man, who'd only humored him out of obligation for his rank. the least he could do was not disturb him in his rest.

"I shall not keep you any longer then, Sato-san. I must depart as well now" An overstretched smile graced his face, and his eyes were pinched closed. He hightailed to the horses, not waiting for a reply. He'd considered asking him to update him on the blonde's condition for a split moment, but that thought left him as swiftly as it came.

He hesitated for a moment entering the carriage, his gaze roaming one last time over the havoc he'd contributed to. His body stiffened when his eyes met the simmering red of Baji's. His head snapped downwards, not having the guts to even attempt to remain in a staring contest. He entered the carriage without a word. He'd unwillingly caught his fair share of Baji's wrath for a day, he didn't want to agitate him further. The shame gripping his body consumed him as it cursed through his chest.

-he'd overstayed his welcome.

A pair of feet stepped to the entrance that did not belong to the redhead. "Kazutora" he shrunk back into his seat, not daring to look back at the alpha. He could hear him let out a sound that sounded close to a sigh, but he might have been mistaken. "Rest up. I don't know when I'll make it back to the castle, so don't wait up" the next words were more hesitant "We'll talk tomorrow"

Kazutora nodded stiffly. he had until tomorrow then, before the alpha would rip him a new one. the alpha bit him goodbye and left back into the thicks of the destruction.

the carriage ride back was a blur. Kazutora hadn't wanted to participate in any form of conversation. The redhead dropped the small talk soon after his third failed attempt trying to engage him in conversation.

Back at the castle an entourage of now familiar faces frantically fussed over him, when he stepped out of the carriage. He was tempted to step right back into the carriage when they zeroed in on his bandages. He heard horrified gasps, he must look quite uncouth.

And not a moment later three of the maids manhandled him into the big bathhouse. He wasn't even able to properly bid the redhead goodbye.

He tried to protest even being here since a normal bath in his chambers would suffice, but they ignored him. In all honesty, he'd forfeit the bath altogether and bury himself underneath his pillows, not to be perceived for at least a month, if he had the option.

They started peeling off the remains of his clothing, frayed layer by layer. He shuddered when the sticky, bloody fabric was peeled off his chest. It felt revolting. He hated the feel of it on his skin.

He should have been more squeamish about the fact, that so many hands were on him, but his brain felt foggy, processing any contact minutes after the hands had already moved to another spot. At one point it didn't even feel like there was any touch at all. Just nothing.

There was nothing.

He blinked and all the clothes were gone, balled into a ball, that one of the maids went out to discard. Now only two of them remained, a maid he couldn't recall and the old hag, who tended to give him a lot of attitude. Her name.. he frowned, he'd known this morning he was sure, but now for the life of him, he couldn't remember.

What had her name been? he knew though that she was unusually quiet and instructed the unfamiliar face to help him into the bath. It was more like a pool. He did not doubt that at least a dozen men would fit into the steamy water. But here it was wasted on the likes of him.

He watched the stream flow in and replace the water that would drain down through the holes at the bottom of it. He wondered whether the construction of the pool was purposefully constructed this way before this thought, too got lost in the steam. What did it matter…

He was halfway submerged, when his upper arm was grabbed by the old hag and held above the water. He stared at her, unblinkingly, not understanding what she wanted. His gaze trailed down his hostage-held limb.

Oh right, he'd forgotten his injured hand. The bandages shouldn't get wet, probably. Infections and all that.. the old hag turned to the other maid, barking at her to get something to cover it with. Not much later the maid hurriedly came back with woolen fabric and began draping it gently over his hand, up to his elbow. "I laced it with the grease of the sheep. It should repel most of the water!"

He wouldn't have cared either way, but he nodded in thanks. The maid then began speaking again motioning for him to tilt his head back. With a wet rag, they both began cleaning his skin. He detachedly watched as the water pinkened around him and then became clear again as the pool rid itself of the dirty water.

Water began flowing down his head and he cringed at the unexpectedness of it. The old hag had begun washing his head, mindfully keeping any from touching the small bandage and making sure none of the suds ran down his face. It oddly reminded him of similar hands —-

("Nanny, I don't want to bathe! I hate it when my hair gets all wet" a small child hissed. "whatever shall I do? The little lord must have secretly been exchanged for an unruly cat~")

He blinked and whatever memory had been forming slipped from his hand helplessly like sand on a beach, leaving him with a gaping hole he could not fill.

Linen towels began drying him, first his hair and then the rest of him. he remained oblivious to the hushed conversation over him "Headmaid Chiyo, his neck-"

"Shush now, if you cherish your life at all. Do not speak of anything you see here. The mark is hidden under the ink and the duke will not look kindly upon any insolence"

"I understand")

The third maid had returned with a robe and a fresh set of clothing. He was methodically dressed as one would dress a doll. The soft silk slid over his skin and it was a great contrast to the armor he'd been wearing hours before. His hair was brushed and swiped to the site so his fringe wouldn't cover his left side like it usually did.

They lead him back to the main hall.

"I'll inform the cooks to prepare your supper-"

"No need. I'll be retiring for the day"

The headmaid stopped walking in front of him and turned to him with a conflicted expression. She argued "But you've already missed luncheon, not to mention you only broke your fast with the barest of nutrients-" He hadn't realized she kept such a closed eye on his diet.

"I have not worked up much of an appetite, I'm afraid" he excused but she didn't relent though. "Then I shall have at least a small platter be brought to your chambers… and when his Lordship returns tonight, you surely will have worked up an appetite, and then you can enjoy supper in each other's company" She was acting rather odd today.

Perhaps he'd hit his head too hard and he conjured up a more unbearable version of her. She must have noted the distance between him and Baji, he thought wryly.

He didn't contradict her statement, however. He didn't think there'd be any enjoyment of company between them today or in the foreseeable future for that matter. His husband hadn't been this physically close to him in weeks and he felt further away than ever. He'd never questioned the easy way they just gravitated towards each other effortlessly, before... or the beginning at least he should say. Some days it felt like Baji understood him with just one glance, even. It wasn't always easy being around Kazutora, he knew that. People didn't tend to stick around for long. But for a while, it had felt like they'd known each other their whole lives, not without their fair share of arguments.

But he was bound to receive a harsh wake-up call. He could only stick his head in the sand for so long. They were strangers, essentially. The arrangement of their marriage would not change that, no matter how much Kazutora had unconsciously chosen to ignore that fact. He meant nothing to Baji. ('What makes you think you are needed-') he ignored the pinch in his chest that came with the thought.

In his rooms, he did as he intended and went straight underneath his growing stash of blankets and pillows. The sun had not yet departed for the day but the room was shrouded in darkness. Kazutora hadn't even bothered to light a candle. He'd dismissed all of the attending maids.

Now he lay here paralyzed, the only light coming through the weak slithers of the dark curtains. He hated the dark, despised it even. The shadows just elongated the longer he stared. So he closed his eyes tightly. His eyes burned behind his eyelids, he didn't dare let his tears fall.

How had the day, that began so promising turned out like this? He could not believe he'd shared the excitement with Chifuyu just at noon about the troop's return. He'd been foolish. He hadn't learned anything. not from the argument or the weeks of silence before that. He deserved to get punished for it. His sire had been right, he never learned anything, no matter how severe it would be beat into him.

He wished the sword hadn't missed him by millimeters. He should have just perished. The explosion had been meant for him, too- but like a cockroach, he persisted, while others took the fall for him. He couldn't stand it. Chou-san was dead. and Chifuyu was fighting for his life all while Kazutora got to lay in his cushiony bed draped in silks.

This situation had just proven how out of depth he truly was, biting off more than he could chew by himself. He'd deluded himself into a false sense of camaraderie and comfort over the last few days.

Fool. Fool. Fool~ Kazutora was a Fool. He began giggling. How ridiculous. His mind turned to a man with much darker hair, but short all the same, ink-stained irises staring at him with accusation. The rest of his face he could never recall, but the man's blood trickling down from the hole in his head had remained the same. His giggles turned to choked chuckling.

Wasn't he something! Of course, he'd get off scot-free once again. He burst into laughter. He was the biggest piece of scum the planet had to offer.

He didn't realize when his tears had managed to escape or when his laughter had turned to sobs. He used his good hand to muffle his cries, unwilling to let anyone be a possible witness to his breakdown as his body shook with tremors. Over the last few months since he'd arrived in this godforsaken place, he'd unconsciously let his guard down.

He knew better than to let anyone get close to him. It never ended well for them.

He'd rectify his error.. tonight he'll mourn his foolish delusions and what-could-have-beens. He let out a shuddering breath. It was high time he molded himself to what was needed and not what was wanted.

How did the lessons go? 'Omegas were to be possessed and owned. Kept quiet in their homes. Never allowed to go out without the permission of their alphan keepers. Only useful as long as their hips helped an alpha sire a gaggle of babes.' The last one he wouldn't be able to do, he mused and the first two he'd failed to conform to today.

'Of course only after they had demurely let an alpha court them.' Well, that step could be skipped.

'It was an honor to be desired and one should shyly accept when an alpha asks for your neck hand.' His own neck throbbed at the reminder. At the irrefutable fact, that was something he would never achieve

'Enjoying the attention of the superior gender was unbecoming of a proper omega. One could not be known as a whore, that would spread their legs for just anyone.' - he giggled, he had failed that one a long time ago, hadn't he?

'But one dare not withhold their body from them. A possession should have no notion of opinion. Omegas were to be seen but not heard.' that he could do.

Tomorrow he'd embrace his role and turn back to being the outsider. Only ever allowed to be seen, never to belong.

It was best for everyone.