Later that day, Giles was trying to read a book about apocalypses.
He wasn't doing very well.
The twins were playing 'Tickle-Monster' with their Uncle Xander, and every now and again, Giles would have a random (almost-)five year old tossed onto him, before they kept giggling and climed off to get back in the game.
"For the love of-" Giles started, pinching the bridge of his nose,
"Uncle Spike!" Jennifer said, running towards the door, followed by her twin brother.
"Hiya, jellybeans!" Spike said, quickly removing a cigarette from his mouth.
Jennifer ran towards him with her arms out and started loudly chanting "Up! Up! Up! Up! Up!" Until Spike eventually picked her up.
"Hi Spike, are you here for any reason in particular, or just to be a whole fucking pain-in-my-ass." Xander said, with a banteringly passive-aggressive humour in his voice.
But before Spike could answer, Jennifer held up four fingers and said "Look, Uncle Spike! I'm this many years old! That is.." she counted her fingers, "one, two, three, four! I'm four! But I'm nearly done being four! And when I'm not four, I'll be five!" She said excitedly.
"Wow, really?!" Spike said in mock surprise, "Well, no shit, Sherlock. I thought you were gonna be seven after you were four." He said sarcastically.
"Silly Uncle Spike!" Jennifer laughed, clearly not understanding the sarcasm.
"Yes, silly Uncle Spike." Giles said, holding eye-contact with Spike, as he took Jennifer from him.
"Nooooo!" Jennifer yelled, "I want Uncle Spike to carry me! I haven't seen him in like, twenty years!" She said, despite only seeing him the other day.
"You haven't even been alive for-" Spike began in confusion.
"Shhh." Giles said, "Just let her have her moment."
"I'm your favourite!" Jesse said, doing the same "Up! Up!" Motions.
Spike picked him up. "Where are the others?" Spike asked, "Still yet to return from the void?"
"Buffy's with Willow." Xander explained, "Wil'll probably come here later to pick the twins up."
"Well tell her she can turn right back around." Jennifer said from Giles' arms.
"Yeah, we're mad at her." Jesse chimed in.
Spike had a look of pure confusion on his face. "Oi, what's this about, then?" Spike asked, looking at Giles and Xander.
"The twins found out about...they found out about when Willow found out about them." Xander said.
"Oh you mean...how she was happy and said she couldn't wait to be a mum-" Spike started, his voice the definition of bad acting.
"Spike, they know." Xander said, looking at the twins.
"Oh.." Spike said, looking at them as well. "Well, that's not...good. Spike said
"Yeah," Xander said, "no shit."
~
A few hours later, Jennifer agreed to do Jesse's nails in return for half of the ladder of the firetruck they'd already violated. But when she'd finished with Jesse's nails, she moved onto Spike, who was fine with it...that is, before he realised that Jennifer only had bright pink and blue, not any dark navy or back.
"So, you're sure these are the only colours you have?" Spike asked, looking down at the toddlers painting his nails, one hand each. They'd had the brilliant idea of mixing the nail polish together and putting the plasticky gloop on his nails.
"Uhuh!" Jennifer said, brightly. Not looking up from his hands. "But if you wanted something different, we could always just use sharpies-"
"No! No, that's ok, jellybean." Spike said, quickly. "I like this colour it's like...unicorn shit."
At that moment, the doorbell rang.
Xander got up to answer it.
He answered the door, and there were Buffy and Willow standing in the doorway.
"Hey, Wil." Xander siad to Willow, they hugged for a while, she closed her eyes and seemed to relax.
"Hi." She said, quietly, moving through to the kitchen where Giles offered her tea.
"Hey, Buff." Xander said to Buffy. "How's she doing?" He said in a quieter voice.
"How do you think, Xand?" She said to him, sadly.
Back by the couch, Spike was still getting his nails done by the twins.
"Hey, babies." Willow said, nervously, to the twins.
Jesse got up silently and walked over to her, before suddenly punching her in the stomach.
Willow gasped and bent over, as much from surprise as from pain.
'Holy shit, he's strong.' Willow thought.
Jennifer got up as she and Jesse left the living room, running to the spare bedroom and shutting the door.
"Ok." Willow said, she looked at the gang with a sad smile. "I deserved that."
~
"Ugh! I never want to see her again!" Jesse said,
"Same! I hate her!" Jennifer added.
"Maybe Uncle Spike will adopt us!" Jesse suggested.
"But he and mom are friends, so we'd see her loads either way." Jennifer realised.
"Oh yeah." Jesse agreed.
~
Back in the living room, Willow was silently crying while sipping her tea, as Buffy rubbed her back.
"Well, looks like they're pissed." Spike said.
Willow shot him an angry look, as to tell him 'not the time, Spike."
He raised his hands in mock defeat, but seemed to show some empathy and followed her wishes.
"Do the kids know? About last night, I mean." Buffy said, looking at Giles.
"No." Giles said.
"Are you really sure you're making the right choice, Watcher?" Spike asked, looking at Giles.
"I'm sure." Giles said, cleaning his glasses on his shirt.
"So you really don't want them?" Buffy said to Giles.
"Yes, quite sure. We don't need them, Buffy. We'll be fine." Giles said, smiling kindly at Buffy.
Little did they know, the twins were listening from inside the guest room.
They looked at each other in horror.
"'Don't need us'" Jesse whispered, terrified.
"They're gonna give us away!" Jennifer whispered back, in horror.