It's been a long few weeks. The richness of this place is damn near suffocating, and she's had very little reprieve from it. Every attempt she's made for the gates of the mansion has been stopped, and granny's sweets only soothe the sting of defeat so much. At least she's not alone as a prisoner—is what she used to think, for the first few days of big bro yapping at her with more stories than could fit in Felt's head.

And then he started taking life in this place in stride, all smiles and jokes with granny and gramps both—and worst of all, with that knight asshole too. Hard to see Subaru as much of a comrade when he's talking up their captors, and it ain't like he's actually trapped the way Felt is. Big bro can walk on out anytime, but when Felt tries to go home the staff get all uppity. Felt's asked him before why Subaru doesn't just leave, head on back to wherever he came from before he got dragged into all that Elsa shit, and he gave some bullshit explanation about travelling and an island. She can't read but Felt's not an idiot; there's no damn island to the east.

Safe to say that big bro got on her nerves within the first week. She's grateful to him and all but she'd prefer if he puts half the effort he does into yapping toward helping Felt escape instead. But at this point, Felt's got the sinking feeling that even with everyone else in this damn place on her side, she still couldn't get past Reinhard. Speedy bastard.

Anyway, after nodding along to Subaru's stories for long enough, Felt started getting tired of 'em, even with how creative and out-there they got. Heroes saving the world, family looking out for each other, corrupt governments being exposed—it's all naive crap, and it made her nauseous to hear about after weeks of it.

But with the story Subaru's telling now, Felt wishes she never asked him to switch it up. For the past two hours, she's been sitting on the couch in her room, trying to act casual. Not usually a hard ask, since it's pretty damn comfy—more cushiony than anything she'd felt in her life before getting kidnapped—but the truth is she's been holding herself perfectly still the entire time, hanging onto every word big bro's saying.

"So Mike and his friends took his little brother, still wearing the Foxy mask, and lifted the crying child up to the golden freddy on stage."

Felt's eyes flick over to Subaru. That fucker wouldn't. It took Subaru awhile to explain animawhatevers but… the spring thingies, didn't he say that when wet they—

"They put his head right into freddy's mouth, and," Subaru says, holding his hands one above the other, before slamming them closed, fingers intertwined. "Crunch."

Felt flinches and gasps. "Was that the bite of '87?!"

Subaru shakes his head, leaning back with his arms crossed. "Common misconception. That was actually the bite of '83."

There were… two bites? How many kids did these fucking things kill?

Before Felt can follow that question any further, there's a knock at the door, and Felt sighs out the tension in her muscles as quickly as she can, readying a glare. In steps the only fucker in this mansion with the audacity to interrupt a private conversation.

With a smile, Reinhard says, "I'm happy to see you're enjoying each other's company."

Felt clicks her tongue and looks away. Subaru stands up from the couch and says while walking over, "Heya, Reinhard! You're back early."
"Yeah, couldn't drag your feet if you tried, could ya?"

"My apologies for the inconvenience, Felt-sama. However, I am in fact tardy." Reinhard glances at the time crystal on the wall, its red glow indicating Fire Time. Damn, when did it stop being Wind Time? It can't have been so long since breakfast. "I have come to announce that lunch will be ready shortly."

Subaru claps Reinhard on the shoulder. "Thanks for that, we would've gotten carried away story-telling all day if you hadn't reminded us." Subaru begins to walk with Reinhard into the hallway. "How was your mor—"

"Hey, big bro," Felt calls out, stopping him in the doorway. "It's all just a story though, right?"

"Hm?" With a glance back from the threshold, Subaru smiles. "Well, if that thought helps you sleep at night, then sure." He waves behind him and walks out. "See ya at lunch, Felt!"

The sun shines from the blue skies directly above. The whole garden's wreathed in the unobstructed noontime light. It's hot out, and all the physical activity's not making them sweat any less.

"So, you up for another round of hide and seek?" Subaru says, laying flat on the grass, having just caught his breath.

Felt frowns down at him and puts her hands on her hips. "Yeah, like we'll be allowed to after you fucked up granny's flower garden. You just had to trip, didn't you? Couldn't watch your step?"

"Hey," Subaru objects, sitting up to brush the dirt off his pants. "It's not my fault Grimm-san kicked me out of my kitchen hiding spot."

With a sigh, Felt delivers a swift flick to Subaru's forehead. Before he can start whining about it, Felt explains, "You shouldn't have gone inside the place to begin with. It's against the rules you insisted on."

"Well, if we didn't have rules, you'd just move from spot to spot faster than I can keep up! Again, not my fault that you have superhuman speed."

"Fault this, fault that," Felt says, "How about you man up and just accept you suck at this game?"

Subaru brushes that off with a wave of his hand. "Playing isn't about winning or losing, it's about having fun." She should punch him for saying that. Felt already told him the same damn thing when he first suggested rules.

She only stops herself when Subaru says, "Unless, you don't wanna play at all anymore, and wanna hear more about what happened at Freddy's instead?"

For a moment, Felt's eyes widen, but she quickly scoffs and looks away. "Whatever, tell your lame story if you want. Not like it's real."

Subaru smiles, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "Sure, let's go inside so I can set the tone properly."

In Felt's room, the curtains are drawn, pillows are stacked against them to block out the afternoon light. Or maybe there's nothing there at all and big bro's yapped away for long enough that it's halfway to Earth Time. But time's not on her mind, only breathing steady.

Felt sits on the floor across from Subaru, a lagmite crystal glowing softly between them. She holds her knees close to her chest, back against the foot of the bed, her mouth hidden but her eyes attentive. She can barely see Subaru's face, the blanket draped around his shoulders hiding his body until all that's left is the reflection of the light in those nasty eyes. If she could tear her gaze away from them, she'd only find a wicked smile plastered across his face.

"Fazbear Frights went up in flames! The building burnt down, with Springtrap and the phantoms lost to the fire." Subaru lowers his voice, and Felt feels goosebumps race across her skin. "Or so they say."

"I-in the story," Felt adds, gripping her legs tight, holding onto herself so that she doesn't shake, so that she doesn't reveal her expression. "As they say, in the rest of your made up stupid story. Springtrap's not real like the hallows of all the kids aren't real."

Subaru pauses for a long moment, staring. It's a haunting look that drills itself through Felt's soul, and she finds herself holding her breath. Until he sighs at her, and says, "Well, if you're not interested, I guess I can move onto something else."

He gets up, walks over to the blinds, and draws them, pillows collapsing to the ground. The meager light of the setting sun blinds her, filling the room with an orange glow. She stares at him, unmoving, as he begins to put the room in order. But all she can think about is the monster consumed by flames, burnt to a crisp, before then clawing itself up out of the ashy remains of its building-sized grave. A monster that was once a man, in a yellow suit so decayed that it seems green.

It's not right, for something so evil to be allowed to keep living. Live strong—that's the motto of the slums, a hypocritical statement, but one that makes damn sure even the weakest most desperate fuckers always come back from the worst spots. And while Felt's no stranger to terrible people taking those words to satisfy their own sadistic ends, big bro's story embodies something worse than Felt's even been able to imagine.
Felt needs to get her mind off this shit. "Did you wanna try another game, or—?"

"Nah, actually, I gotta go to Carol-san, she's been giving me help to practice my sewing skills." Subaru shakes his head, standing by the door. "Besides, maybe if she's busy while Reinhard's away, you'll have a chance to slip past Grimm-san?"

Felt lets out a shaky scoff and unfolds her legs, forcing on a smile. "Yeah, right. I'll just… I'll walk around a bit and see how I feel."

With a smirk, Subaru says, "Be careful. Look out for purple men drunk driving."

Felt snaps at him, "It's not like I'm going out on the street! And cars aren't real anyway!"

Breathe in, breathe out. Ignore the deafening silence that only her heartbeat fills. Lie still, close her eyes, and fall asleep already. Sleep, damn it. Felt grits her teeth instead, refusing to hide under the covers like a coward. She tried running herself ragged in the garden to get the nervous energy out but it didn't do a damn thing for her. So she's just left with a sleepless night, quiet, and her thoughts spinning in her head—her mind consumed by all the details of big bro's story.

William. His son Mike. The crying child. Someone named Elizabeth, but he didn't get far enough to explain more about her. They're the Aftons—a fucked up family. Felt's own good-for-nothing parents dumped her in the slums as a child, and she's made sure to always curse them out every time she thinks of them. Really, she imagined them to be the scum of the earth, and yet the image in her head's not half as bad as the Aftons.

Old Man Rom is the best parent Felt could've asked for. A meticulous and careful guy, very aware of his surroundings, annoyingly considerate of her. Felt misses him, has been wanting to check up on him for every day she's been stuck here. She hopes he's doing alright with the loot house destroyed, but she knows worrying about him's useless. He can take care of himself plenty fine, and what he'd want more than anything is for her to take care of herself too.

So Felt heaves herself up in bed. She's not sleeping, so might as well check around the room. Not for anything in particular of course, just… in case she needs to, and it'll pass the time anyway.

She makes her way to the closet door opposite of the bed, and opens it to find nothing there. Well, aside from terrible dresses. She pops her head into the bathroom to the same result, and makes her way to the bedroom door. Her hand on the knob, she hesitates, remembers what Subaru said—that Mike had to hold his breath and listen for breathing. Stupid intrusive thought, there's nothing for her to find out there. But she does it anyway, just so she can hear clearly and put her lack of worries to rest. Air trapped in her lungs, Felt peers into the darkness of the hallway, and—

There's a light raspy noise that makes her skin crawl, like someone's standing right outside, wheezing.

Felt slams the door and bolts back to her bed. Fucking room doesn't come with a fucking lock and now she's hiding under the fucking covers. She almost curses out loud too, when she hears a creak of the door. Her breath catches as she listens carefully to the sound of jingling metal scraping against itself.

She hides her head under the blanket fully. A dream, gotta be, big bro's dumb stories are just getting to her a bit. Her exhales are shaky and she feels the heat on her breath blow back onto her face against the inside of the covers. Her heart pounds in her ears and sweat clings to her back.

The shifting of metal sounds out louder and louder, paired with cumbersome heavy steps toward her bed. Something's getting closer, and Felt can't just ignore it, can't block the sound of a terrible groan from her ears or the rotten stench from wafting into her nose. The image in her mind grows vivid—a sickly creature, its skin falling off the muscle, its face burned and fused with the suit. Springtrap.

Step after step closer, until it stops at her bedside, and lingers there with nothing but that same raspy wheezing. Felt doesn't move an inch, listening as closely as she can, her arms pinned against where her heart's trying to beat its way out of her chest. She wishes she covered her nose before the fucking thing got so close, it reeks. And then her nose itches, and she feels a sneeze coming on, and she curses her damn luck.

Her hand shoots up to pinch her nose, stop it from making a sound, but she rustles the sheets covering her in the process. Shit. The sound of metal shifting rings out above her, and the wheezing stops. Felt holds her breath, only to hear a hoarse gravelly voice with a strange accent say, "I always come back."

Those words—Felt doesn't have time to process them beyond recognizing their origin. The blanket hiding her is ripped off, and Felt is met face-to-face with a figure looming over her. It's a rabbit-man, she can tell at a glance, just like big bro said. One ear, rotten smell, staring down at her with wide eyes.

Felt doesn't hesitate for a moment and screams, kicking the bastard square in the chest with all her might, "Fuck! Fuck! Dammit all! Reinhard, help!" And then her foot stops making contact. She… managed to knock the monster over?

The next second, the lagmite lights in the room flicker on and Reinhard is kneeling beside her on the bed. He places a gloved hand on her shoulders, and her heart is beating too fast, her breathing too quick, to make fun of him for sleeping in a uniform. Felt doesn't even look at the knight. She leans forward slowly to look at Springtrap, and it's—

It's not a yellow rabbit at all, or burnt. It's a hastily slapped together bunch of cloth, with a couple dozen forks and spoons woven into it. It's Subaru, laying on his back, spoiled meat strapped to the chest of his ridiculous outfit.

He smiles up at her, his breathing strained, a hand on his torso where Felt kicked him. "Got you good, didn't I?"

Everyone sitting at the breakfast table is silent, aside from Subaru's still-heavy breathing. Serves the bastard right. He pretended to wheeze and now he gets to actually do it for a couple days. Felt eats and chews her food without a word of apology.

From the head of the table, Reinhard asks, "Are you alright, Felt-sama?"

"Alright?" Felt scoffs. "I don't know, guess I should be just fine and dandy after ya let this bastard sneak into my room at night and scare the living daylights out of me."

"Felt-sama," Reinhard says, head inclined, "I am deeply sorry for my failure to prevent your discomfort. I sensed no ill intent in the mansion and wrongly assumed that meant all was well."

Subaru chuckles, suppressing a laugh as he grabs his chest. "I knew you were trying to hide how much the fnaf lore got under your skin, but I didn't think it was that bad."

"That's not just any horror story, big bro. It was so elaborate and detailed, I didn't…" Felt grumbles to herself and takes another bite of her breakfast. "It was hard to imagine someone would be twisted enough to make it up, let alone you of all people."

"Well, I can't exactly take credit for someone else's IP. You see, the creator of the series was inspired to make it because of a previous—" Subaru ducks and narrowly avoids a fork to the face.

"Yeah, you're gonna shut up right now. Not another word or story outta you, ya hear?" Felt looks over to see that knight bastard's hand on his chin. "And what the fuck's on your mind all of a sudden?"

Felt throws a spoon at him just for the way Reinhard looks back at her. It turns mid-air and flies at Subaru again, this time hitting him right in the shoulder. Felt would be more frustrated that she missed but she still gets a chuckle out of the result.

"Felt-sama, it is rather unladylike to treat cutlery as projectiles, and to use such vulgar language."

"Yeah, yeah, you have a stick up your ass, I get it. Now, spill."

With a light sigh, Reinhard says, "I am unaware of what Subaru means by this… fahnaf."

Rubbing his shoulder, Subaru replies, "It's a video game franchise."

"Stop talking nonsense already, it gets old, y'know?" Felt says. "It's this weird-ass horror story big bro learned from who knows where."

"Horror story?" Reinhard says with a tilt of his head.

Felt and Subaru look at each other, and despite their differences, they're on the same page. There's no way Reinhard is so sheltered he's never heard a horror story before, and if he really hasn't… Felt and Subaru share a smile.

"Well, Reinhard," Subaru starts, "There once was a place called Fredbear's family diner."

Happy April Fool's! Been awhile since I did a comedy fic... Anyway, thanks to pidgie for reading this over and helping me polish it a bit as well as hosting a contest to finally prompt me to write it all out. This fic was inspired by Marggri's art. Great artist and my favorite in the whole community! Please find their work on Tumblr.