Hello all!
Many, MANY moons ago, I played DBZ Tenkaichi 2 on the PS2 (yes, that system for you young folks) and one of the story lines made available was the what if storyline "Fateful Brothers". Raditz was always one of my favorite characters, but he got so little screen time I was glad to see that story segement.
Of course I had to rewrite that, sooooo here we are! My take on that what if. Enjoy! This is written in Raditz's POV.
A Different Outcome
It was... cold. Strangely colder than Planet Vegeta, but it also felt comforting here. Wherever 'here'was.
I remembered fighting that green one. And I got too damn confident and... it cost me.
It reminded me of all the taunts from Nappa when I was younger.
Always calling me 'Raditz the Runt'.
Always reminding me that I needed to stop being so confident and underestimating my opponent.
Heh... if only he could see me now. Either I'd never hear the end of it or Vegeta would probably end me right now.
Raditz the Runt... dammit. Dammit!
The Saibamen turned on me; I guess I got a defective batch or maybe... they sensed it.
My weakness... my overconfidence... argh, damn it all...!
I guess I deserve it. I should've killed him when I had the chance. And I had a few chances.
It hurts. My body, every part of me hurts like hell. Even while taking over planets I'd never been in pain quite like this before.
I can't move and it hurts to breathe. I need it to stop... whatever this is, I want it to stop!
... and it does. The brightness is gone. It's dark again. And I sleep. My body still hurts but I feel light, like I'm floating on air. Is this what death feels like?
I stay like this for who knows how long. It feels nice. I don't know if this is what death is; I always figured I'd have a more... I don't know, brutal or painful one.
Or I would at least go down in a better battle than that one. Something worthy of a Saiyan.
...damn Saibamen... I hate those things now.
There were a LOT of strange voices circling me when I entered this void. I couldn't make any of them out, except for one. My father. I knew his voice anywhere. I focus on that until I don't hear even his voice anymore.
Now, I don't really feel anything, either. No more pain, or fear... nothing. I just... drift.
As I do so, I'm starting to realize l... I can barely remember myself.
What led me to this place? Where was I going, where did I come from? What did I do?
And then, without warning, that light comes back, but much, much stronger. I want to turn away but it forces me out of the darkness and upward, pulling me... someplace. I can't even scream before I'm forced into it.
Opening my eyes, I immediately snap them shut. Literally every part of my being is screaming in pain. Why am I so much pain?
What happened to me? I'm bloody and beaten to a pulp.
I struggle to take in a breath but my chest sears in pain. I roll sideways and get minimal relief. Gods, this hurts... and it's then I realize I'm laying in a pool of my own blood. The bright red on my hands and skin soak the ground below me. I stare at it in shock for a minute before the pain takes over.
I lay there, the grass tickling my face as I start to feel myself drifting off again. But I can't pass out. Not now.
I'm still semi awake, but I feel dizzy and weak. Probably from losing all this blood. And I still can't recall what led up to this.
I don't know who I am. I don't know my name or anything about my life. I don't know where I am or how I ended up bleeding to death.
I don't know how I ended up wherever here is! And I feel... scared? Confused and scared, but I don't know why.
What happened to me...?
All I seem to know right now is that I'm bleeding and I'm in immense pain.
It takes a very long time before I'm able to pull myself off of the ground and into somewhat of a sitting position. That... was a very, very bad idea.
Almost instantly, I feel sick to my stomach from the change in positions. It takes a few minutes to let the feeling pass.
Still disoriented, I try to guess where I am from my surroundings. But all I see is grass... and a funny little green thing that looks like an arm. I decide not to investigate that any further and look at myself instead.
Damn... I look like I've been through an explosion.
My face is caked in blood and I can feel a gash on my forehead that's close to my hairline. I also have pretty notiable scratches on my arms and legs, and the thing I have on (why don't I have on pants?) is damaged bad; my abdomen is covered in blood as well. I can taste copper in my mouth and spit it out before more comes up. Moving my arms causes considerable pain that I actually cry out and I soon see why- my right arm has this burn mark, gash, I don't know what it is. It seems like it split open because that's bleeding pretty bad, too.
Guess that explains why I feel so weak and dizzy. I'm literally almost dead... or was I dead before?
I realize I have something stuck to my face. I don't ponder too much on what it is; I know whatever is wrong with me, I need help.
Summoning whatever strength I have left, I manage to figure out how to get in the air- won't question why I can fly- before the sudden change turns my stomach again- this time, I nearly black out.
But I think I need to do this. I'm in trouble, that much I know.
Focus. Pass out later.
I don't know why or how, but I realize I can... feel energy. Several of them; it's so strong I almost want to collapse from the overwhelming feeling. The thing on my face is beeping like mad and I don't know how to stop it.
Taking a deep breath (and regretting it almost instantly), I focus on where the strongest point is and lock onto it. With the little energy I have in my body I force myself to fly towards it, hoping someone could tell me who I was, why I was here, and help me.
It was a small house on an island. I saw two people on it, talking. At least, I think I did. My vision was so blurry it was hard to tell. And the thing on my face was giving me a headache from all the noise it was making.
I could hear them talking clearly as I started to fall from the air. My feet made contact with the sand and almost instantly my energy left me. I crumpled to the ground before I had a chance to process anything.
"Hey! Are you alright?!" I looked up and tilted my head a little at the person talking to me.
For the first time since I came to, I recognized someone. At least, I think I did.
That hair... that face... n-no, it can't be true...
"B-Bar... dock...?" My voice was weak and strained, foreign even to myself.
'But he... he looks like Father... and he sounds a bit like him, too...'
The next few moments became a blur. I was listing sideways before I knew what was happening. I saw him and a bald headed one approach me, I guess to help me. And then a green blob appeared.
"Hey! Are you okay?! Hey!" I couldn't talk- every time I tried, I kept tasting copper and it was so hard to breathe. The bald one was on the other side saying something in a bit of a panic, I think. It was kind of hard to understand him, but I think he was yelling to the other one about something.
Then my eyes widened in shock at the evil energy I could feel. The thing on my face was going crazy and I nearly sat up before I realized I couldn't really move. But I knew that energy.
I had to; otherwise, why was it terrifying me so much?
This energy feels evil... but why am I afraid of it? Do I know him? Did I fight him? Maybe he's the one who did all this to me!
"Goku, he's out of it! I think it's Piccolo!" Someone screamed. I barely processed it, but I heard the name... Piccolo.
That must be who that is. Piccolo. But why is he after me? I don't even know who I am, let alone who he is!
"So, you're still alive..." The voice was dark and deadly and I couldn't move. My body was frozen, my heartbeat was so loud it was in my ears, my energy was gone.
He was walking right towards me. If I didn't do something I'd be at his mercy! But what could I do like this?
So I did the only thing I could think of in my current state. Looking at the man who resembled my father, I pleaded for his help.
"P-Please, h-help me!!" He knelt next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"It's okay. I've got this." He seemed so much like my father, so confident and sure, so strong.
But I didn't know who he was, even though he felt so familiar...
"Thank you..." I barely got out before I felt like passing out again. The small man keeps me sitting upright, and I soon feel another set of hands on me- they're small and soft, trying to work that annoying thing off my face.
My father's copy stands up, almost shielding me from him. "Piccolo, stop! He's too weak to fight you! Can't you see?" He gestures to me. "He's scared! Just stop this!"
Piccolo is glaring at me with a intent to kill. I guess now I know why I'm scared.
He must've done this to me. And he said he wanted to 'finish me off'... was I fighting him before? Why can't I remember that...?
I feel spent and I honestly want to pass out for awhile. The two sets of hands are still holding me up, and the small soft set of hands finally got thag stupid thing on my face to be quiet. Another, rougher but still small set of hands keeps checking my pulse.
One of the voices is a man, possibly the bald one from before, but he sounds muffled deapite being right next to me. He's asking me something- I can't make out what. I just nod; I'm tired.
Instead, I blearily watch those two prepare to battle. I can't put my finger on it, but the man protecting me... I feel like I should know him.
He acts and sounds just like my father, the only person I seem to recall so clearly. But... my father is dead. I remember that.
I don't remember anything else but my father... did I have a family? Did I have a sibling, a mother? I don't remember...
Who is that man? What is his connection to me? Why do I feel like I know him...?
"Fools! Have it your way... I'll fight you instead!" He growls angrily. They charge at each other and the fight starts, but I honestly can't see straight.
...I think I'm really about to die.
"Hey, hey! Come on, stay with us!! Stay awake!!" The bald one is yelling at me while calling for someone named 'Bulma'.
I don't really process anything else but I nod all the same, still trying to keep up with the battle.
Stay... awake... right. Stay awake... stay awake...
The clashes from the battle manage to keep me somewhat conscious for a little bit.
I hear the punches, the grunts and screams, feel the energy coming from those two. And then my eyes close; I was too tired to hold them open anymore.
At some point, it stops. I don't hear or feel any energy. I struggle to open my eyes as someone places a hand over my neck and says something about a pulse.
I must've collasped again, because my view is of the sky. It looks... nice.
"... you okay?!" That voice... it's that man. He's trying to get me to focus on him but I can't. I'm far too exhausted to try.
I don't really feel much of anything. Not even pain. I'm just... exhausted.
That person is over me again, his face coming into view. He keeps saying I'm gonna be okay. I nod, and let my eyes close.
Who is he...? Why does he feel so oddly familiar to me?
"F-Father..." I whisper breathlessly. I want to believe he's here but... he can't be. That much, I know.
I don't hear anything after that. My body relaxes and I finally fade to darkness.
Flashback...
A small boy, roughly about five, stares at the nursing capsule that contains his new little brother. He squints at the chubby boy floating about.
He still isn't too sure what the boy is. His mother keeps saying he's a 'big brother' but he's not sure what that means.
He does know two things. The boy looks like his dad. And he doesn't like him.
'Why do I have to be a big brother anyway...' he grumbles. He liked it when it was just him, his mom and his dad.
They paid a lot of attention to him before HE came along.
He sighs before he walks away to look for his mom. Maybe she can fix him something to eat and they can wait for dad together, like always.
He tugs at his rather long, very spiky hair. No matter what, he isn't getting it combed. Or cut; his dad said something about that.
Nope. It's not happening. The kid knew how to hide well, which he knew would drive his mom and dad nuts.
Then he wonders. How come that boy looks like his dad? 'Weird... I'll ask Mommy about it.'
The dull pain is the first thing I register when I open my eyes. The second thing is the fact it's so nice and comfortable. The third thing is it's nighttime.
I wonder how long I'd been out. I feel... better, I guess. I don't taste copper anymore and my arm is wrapped. I feel bandages on my stomach area, and that heavy thing I had on is gone, so I can breathe easier.
The pain is nowhere near as bad as before. But I still feel exhausted and I don't bother trying to move.
It's weird and I don't know why it's weird, but this fills me with the first bit of peace I've felt... well, ever. I don't really remember if my life was like this before now.
I have so many questions about this place, about myself. I struggle to remember anything about me and nothing comes to mind.
I don't even know my own name. It seems like the only one who knows me is the one who's trying to kill me.
Piccolo.
My eyes droop and I allow myself the luxury of sleeping. It felt as if I could lower my guard. Something I'd never done before... I think.
After a few days of bed rest I was allowed to move around more. I didn't feel so weak and dizzy and tired anymore, thank goodness.
I also learned the names of the people who saved me:
Krillin is the shorter bald one. Roshi is the old man who owns the house I was in. Bulma was the blue haired woman who came back and forth to check on me. She was also the one who figured out how to get that thing off my face.
There was a small child who I found out was named Gohan; I didn't recall seeing him before.
Goku... Goku was the one who reminded me of my father. He was also the father to Gohan.
Seeing those two in particular always felt... odd. Like I should know them or something. But I don't... at least, I don't think so?
Goku likes to train a lot. He was always out on an island training hard. Sometimes Gohan would be there too.
Watching him train always stirred something in me. A mix of feelings. Like I should know what he's doing, but I don't.
Like I've seen him fight before. Way, way before.
They realized that whatever happened to me caused some kind of memory loss. Goku was confident I'd get my memories back in time, and Roshi allowed me to stay until I did. I went along with it because... well, what choice did I have?
My father. Out of everything I couldn't remember, my father was the one thing I could. Bardock. I even remembered his name clear as day. But why?
Even though I was still recovering, Goku often brought me along to see him train; there was a part of me that always wanted to be out there sparring with him. He would usually tell me to take it easy until I was fully healed.
There was one thing I had noticed I always seemed capable of doing- sensing other's energy. I didn't know how I could do it, I just... did.
Bulma told me it was more than likely because of that device I had on when I came here. It was helping me find other energy. But I wasn't wearing it and could still sense eneegy around me... how was that possible?
Goku helped me learn how to sense energy- well, he calls it ki- without me needing that device. I was meditating and... I surprised myself.
I could sense ki all around me. Different levels, strengths, emotions. I could feel his, Gohan's, Bulma, Krillin... even Piccolo.
I didn't think I could do anything like that before now. I don't remember if I did before. But it felt amazing to know I could!
Past...
The boy was knocked backwards, hitting the rocks and ground hard enough to cough up blood. Standing above him was a much older and clearly stronger man, hands on his hips.
He was now a scrawny teenager, about thirteen at best. Still getting used to his Saiyan armor and his newly acquired green scouter to help him read power levels.
The man across from him was balding, but still had a tail and wore the same type of armor as he did. His scouter was blue, and currently beeping out some information.
'Ah, come on, Raditz!!' The man bellowed with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. 'Ya gonna hafta do wayyyyy better than THAT!!'
Raditz was struggling with his training. He couldn't do anything but try and defend himself. His power level was low class by their standards, but he was determined to stop being called a runt!
He wasn't a runt, dammit!!
Panting heavily from exhaustion, he shakily got to his feet, only to be blown away mere seconds later by a powerful punch to his stomach.
His body, Saiyan as it may be, was unable to take that strength of the hit and he immediately dropped to the ground again, coughing and wheezing, arms wrapped around his abdomen.
Wasting no time, the older Sayian charged at him and punched him hard, sending Raditz into a nearby wall. That was all it took to knock him clean out. With a light groan, he fell off the wall and towards the ground.
The older Saiyan caught him and sighed heavily as he held him. Perhaps he should've pulled his punches a little...?
'Raditz the Runt... you've got some work ahead of you, kid. 'He mused as he began to walk back to his base. 'Don't need Prince Vegeta blowin a fuse on ya.'
Raditz was completely unconscious as the burly man placed him inside his space pod and resumed his destruction of the planet they were on. Good thing Vegeta doesn't start on their team until next planet. That still gave him some time, but not much.
Present
One day, after what felt like forever, I was finally allowed to begin training with Goku. For some reason, that got me excited as we flew to the usual training grounds.
I still don't know why I could fly- Goku shrugged and said he could too, that he just knew how. Again, I questioned what the hell we were because human wasn't it.
Krillin, Bulma, even Roshi- they were human. But me, Gohan and Goku were different. That was evident when I hoisted a vehicle over my head- with ease, mind you- for Bulma one day when she needed to fix something.
As we landed on the grass, I took an actual look around the island. It was small, isolated and had one single crooked tree towards the back end.
Goku always had a happy air about him as he stretched his legs. I followed suit, trying to get used to this strange clothing I was wearing.
For some odd reason, I was able to fit his old grey sweatpants and orange tee shirt despite being taller than him. It was a bit snug but... it felt comfortable. My armor that I had on before was being repaired but I think I like these clothes instead.
Except the shoes. I hate those things. I go barefoot and I'm happy as I can be.
He started his jumping exercise and I flopped back on the ground, staring at the sky as I finished stretching and preparing.
It seemed to be a pastime of mine now.
The peace, the safety to lower my guard... it felt strange. Different. Like I'd never known this before now.
It made me all the more curious about my life. What kind of life I lived.
"Hey, Raditz! You ready to spar?" Goku asked excitedly. I blinked before I realized- Raditz was my name and he was talking to me.
They discovered that annoying green thing I had attached to my face when I passed out had my name saved on it for some reason. Bulma said she wanted to look at it some more and asked if she could have it. I shrugged and nodded- I didn't know what I had it for in the first place.
Raditz. That's my name. I had to keep reminding myself about that.
I finished my stretches and stood up, pulling my hair back to keep it out of the way. Nodding, I felt extremely excited for the first time since this whole thing happened.
"Y-Yeah! L-let's go, Goku!"
His smile widens and he gets into his fighting stance. I get into mine as well, focusing on his specific ki energy.
"Don't hold back! Give it everything you've got!!" he announced before he charged his energy. I was a bit blown back but I held my ground and followed suit.
"R-Right!! Here I come!!"
The next few moments were a blur that I couldn't keep track of. Goku was so graceful in his movements, and I froze several times.
He really is so much like Father...
I shook my head but kept that memory in my head for later. Instead I focused on blocking, then parrying. Dodge, throw a punch. Dodge, launch attack.
"Kamehameha!" A massive energy blast came out of nowhere and almost took my head off. I panted, barely able to skate past that attack.
My body reacted as I launched an attack of my own. I heard Goku yelp in surprise and saw him move quickly to avoid it.
Goku stood there in space, blinking for a moment, then started to laugh. I was still shaken up from the attacks and landed on the ground.
"Y-you okay down there, Raditz?!" He laughed as he made his way down. I could barely get a word out so I just nodded. He's so strong...and how did I know to do what I just did?
He landed next to me and flopped on the ground. I closed my eyes to steady my nerves, but deep down, I was pretty surprised with myself.
I have that kind of power...? What am I...?
"T-that... was so strong..." I finally got out. Goku was suddenly standing up with his hands on his hips, grinning.
"Are you nuts? You've been getting stronger yourself, Raditz! You almost had me on the ropes for a second there!"
I felt my cheeks heating up in embarrassment; a... compliment? I didn't really feel that much stronger...
"I-uh, I didn't-"
Goku patted me on the shoulder. "I'm serious, Raditz. You didn't even know you had this kind of power, did you? You were amazing out here and that's after everything you've just been through."
I didn't know what to say. I smiled sheepishly. "Uh, well... t-thank you... Goku. It's because of you..."
Goku chuckled and helped me up. "Come on. We're gonna work on focusing that energy you just launched."
Instead of sparring, we spent the next few hours just working on controlling my power. I felt I got a quick understanding of what I was supposed to be doing as Goku showed me how to focus and attack at once.
It felt natural and soon I didn't have shaky nerves. I was just tired.
"Next time a bad guy comes along, I think you'll be able to take care of yourself!" he happily said as we both sat down to take a moment.
Take care of myself... am I really that strong? "Y-You think so...?" I asked quietly.
Clapping my shoulder and hopping back to his feet, he extended his hand to help me up. "I know so. You're gonna be an awesome fighter!"
As I took down my hair, I pondered his words. I only began sparring with him today, yet I wondered every single day where my power came from. How I could sense energy like I did. How I could attack like I did today.
We are definitely not human. Today confirmed it.
What are we...? Are we really that strong?
Was Father strong like this? Stronger, even...?
...I wish I could remember.
While we began getting ready to leave (apparently because Goku was hungry), someone stepped on the island. Even before I turned around I could sense that evil energy.
"Oh! Well Piccolo, I see you're back!" Goku was chipper as he stood him down fearlessly.
I was shaking in fear. Now I knew he would stop at nothing to kill me. I took a step back, hyperventilating.
"H-he's back...?!" I exclaimed in horror. Goku cracked his knuckles as Piccolo glared daggers at us. I knew why he hated me, but why was he mad at Goku...?
Maybe from the last fight...? I blacked out so I don't know what happened in the end.
"You're not getting away from me, bastard! This time I'm gonna finish you off!" He yelled as he prepared to charge his energy.
Goku looked over his shoulder at me. And I saw it.
It was there. The same confidence as Bardock. As my father.
Why couldn't I be like him...?
Who are you, Goku...?
"Don't let him scare you!" He encouraged, grinning as he stared Piccolo down. "You can take him! You're not a weakling anymore, remember?"
Something about that word-weakling- jolted something inside my head and my heart.
I've heard it before. I can't remember when, or who said it, or why, but I know I've heard it be used to describe me before.
And it really pissed me off.
'Raditz the Runt! Haha, ya gonna hafta do better than that if ya ever want to take over a planet!'
'Let's go, weakling, and stop complaining!'
'You can't be my son... you're too much of a weakling!''
Once again, things happened too fast for me to keep up. I just... I don't know how to describe this feeling welling up inside of me.
... Yes, I do.
I was angry. Livid.
"Weak...ling... weakling... t-that's right..." I muttered as I charged my energy. I had my sights on Piccolo, who was apprently doing the same thing.
Seeing his arrogant attitude only fueled me more. I had enough of him! I charged past Goku and right at Piccolo, screaming:
"I'm Raditz! And I'M NO WEAKLING!"
The battle was over fairly quickly. Or maybe it seemed that way to me. I was shaking in anger, panting heavily. It was finished.
I won... I won!
I laughed in disbelief... I can't believe I won!! "I-Incredible! I did it! I-I won, Kakarot!"
Wait. Kakarot? Who... was that? How did I know that name?
We both shared a confused look at that before I remembered he was still alive.
On the ground lay Piccolo. He was battered and barely able to move. But he still had the same death stare as earlier.
"D-Dammit... you bastard...!" I made my way over to him, a barely formed energy ball in my hand.
"Right...it's time to finish this-"
Goku's voice was loud and stern as he yelled out, "That's enough! Raditz, he's learned his lesson!"
I whirled on him, my energy ball gone. I had never felt such an urge of frantic desperation in my life. It was so strong I almost lost myself in it.
"B-But! It's killed or be killed!" I tried to explain. Again, I wondered, why did I know this? That's... that's who I was before?
Goku shook his head no, and we both heard Piccolo trying to escape.
But I was trying to make him understand, I had to kill him! I had to!
"Raditz, is that what you really think?" Goku asked me, eyebrow arched. He sighed and looked up as Piccolo hovered in the air. I did as well.
He could barely stay afloat.
I really did a number on him... and he deserved every single punch I landed on him.
"If that's true, you're no better than he is."
I paused and once again pondered his words before taking in a breath and letting it out.
...He's right.
I wouldn't be any better than that creature I feared. I want to be strong like Goku.
"... you're right... it's as you say, Goku." I admitted quietly. "I shouldn't abuse my power..."
I felt so helpless. And my heart was thrown into that same confusing turmoil as before. A strong part of me still wanted to chase that bastard down and end him!
But Goku was right... he was strong because he protected his friends and family. I will always be a weakling if I don't learn to control my growing powers and focus on getting stronger.
Goku's gentle hand on my shoulder caused me to look at him. Even beat up from our spar, he still had his same friendly demeanor. I couldn't help but return the smile back, albeit with less enthusiasm.
"I know its weird, and kind of hard, but I'm proud of you, Raditz. You're doing good!" He complimented before he leapt into the air.
It was weird for sure, but hearing that from him made me also feel proud of myself, too.
As he flew back, Goku asked how I was feeling about today. Honestly, I didn't know what I was thinking.
My head hurt but that was becoming a common feeling. But my chest just felt... strange. Confused.
I don't understand it. I don't like it.
Days turned into weeks, then turned into months. While I continued to train and learn from Goku, growing stronger by the day, my memory still didn't return.
However, seeing Gohan, Goku's young son, gave me more turmoil in my heart I hadn't expected. More confusion.
He has a monkey tail. And I have one as well. But Goku assured me it was perfectly fine- he used to have one, too!
But we can't be human if we have monkey tails! So what are we? What am I?!
Gohan was a good kid, he loved training and sparring with me and Goku when he could since his mom often kept him home. I was often at Roshi's home, mostly helping around but training as well when I could.
Anytime Gohan came around, he always called me 'Mister Raditz.' He also somehow knew I was in a state of constant confusion- the kid was observant, I give him that.
But there was something about him that seemed... like he was holding back. Goku often said to me that he was a strong kid but only when he was angry. He didn't like to fight otherwise.
I could see that. He felt pretty strong but unless he was training, he was pretty... whiny. Goku said it was because of his mom's "strict studying schedule", whatever that meant.
One day, I asked if me and Gohan could go training together. Both of them didn't mind and Goku had to help at his house so it was fine.
Gohan was relieved; he needed to get away from the house, and I desperately needed to clear my head.
Oddly enough, for a child, Gohan was easy to talk to. He loved my hair and was always curious about my name and my life... well, what little I could even remember.
I wished I could tell him more but since I was still unsure I often ended up shrugging my shoulders at his questions. He had that same laugh and carefree smile of his dad...
But every time he mentioned our tails my head began to hurt. I felt like I was trying to remember something...
"H-Hey, are you okay?!" Gohan's small hand rested on my leg. "Mister Raditz?"
I shook it off, deciding to deal with it later. Nodding, I gently pried the boy off and nodded in the direction of the road behind him. He was worried but moved back into position.
"A-Are you sure...? Maybe I should get my dad?" He suggested. I shook my head no and shook off whatever that was.
"There's no need. I-I'm fine... right. O-Okay... okay. Time to train, Gohan!" I announced, charging my energy. He did the same and came at me with everything his little body had.
Because he was young and obviously smaller than me, I pulled some punches and let him get his hits and blasts on me. He was pretty strong, more than likely from training with his dad.
At that thought, a memory came back to me... it felt so surreal...
'Come, Raditz! I need you to hit me with everything you have!'
A scared child, no older than seven, stood shaking in his youth battle armor that looked far too big on his scrawny frame. Large eyes, filled with tears, looked at his dad in fear.
'I-I do'wanna! I want to be with Mom!' He cried. 'I don't wanna do this anymore!'
A heavy sigh and then, warm arms scooped him up. He'd been through a lot and while it wasn't his fault he was a low class, his father wanted him to be stronger. Especially since he was a big brother.
'Hey, hey. It's okay to feel fear, Raditz. But you will have to overcome them eventually. You have to be strong enough to protect your mother and your little brother.'
A sniff, then: 'L-like you, Father?'
A chuckle, then a hand rustles long, unkempt hair before drying his tears. 'Like me, son. Now, do you want to be a weakling? Or like your old man?'
The child ponders for a moment. Then he straightens up, wipes the rest of his tears, and nods in determination.
He wants to make his dad proud! And his mom and brother, too. Well, more his mom and dad, really. He still wasn't too sold on the whole "little brother" thing right now.
'O-Okay. Let's train some more, Father! I'm ready and I'll give it everything I've got!'
A smile before he sets his son down. 'That's the spirit, Raditz! Now give it everything you've got! Show me you're a Sayian!'
I was so lost in thought I failed to remember who I was sparring with. Without warning, I threw a full powered punch and hit Gohan so hard his head was spinning.
"No!" I rushed to his side and carefully sat the boy up. Like I expected, his head was spinning. "Are you alright, Gohan?!"
He groaned. "W-what...? Wha' happened?" He mumbled dizzily. He grabbed his head in pain as he tried to stand on his feet. After a few failed attempts, he was standing, albeit still shaking badly.
"I-I'm okay... I'm used to training pretty hard with my Dad..." he chuckled before he fell back on his backside. "Ooooh, my head..."
That memory was strong, too strong to ignore. "I-I'm sorry. I just..."
Gohan nodded but I can tell his head was definitely hurting something fierce. I helped him upright, staring hard at him.
I think... he was the key.
About my life. About who I am. About... what I am.
"I-I remember now..." I spoke softly to myself. That tail did mean something after all...
"Kakarot, and I... you... we're all... Saiyans..."
Gohan was staring at me as I mumbled to myself. "...Mister Raditz...? What's wrong? And, what's a... a Saiyan?"
I remembered. Who I was. What I was meant to do.
"... get some rest, Gohan." I avoided his question. I couldn't look him in the eye. Not knowing who we all were. Poor kid didn't know. I couldn't be angry at him.
He tried to say something else, but I think by then the pain overtook him. Listening to what I said, he rested against my chest as I expertly leapt into the air and flew him home. He didn't speak the whole trip there but I think he'd fallen asleep by now.
I remembered who I am.
"I am... the Sayian... Raditz." I muttered aloud. I remember everything.
I am a Sayian. Like my father. Like this young boy asleep in my arms. Like Go- no. Like Kakarot. That name back then was important after all.
Kakarot is my brother. Which means this boy -Gohan- is my nephew.
I've been living with my family, but why didn't he know who I was before?
I dropped Gohan off and found Kakarot inside the house. I mentioned to him to come outside. He was surprised to see Gohan asleep but shrugged it off and followed me.
"Raditz...? Everything okay?" He asked. I was silent. That turmoil was back, stronger than ever. I wanted to pull it out and throw it away and forget about it because I am a damn Saiyan!
But as I stared at Kakarot, I realized... he's a soft hearted Saiyan. He's like our mother, too damn caring.
And like our father... powerful, determined.
It left an effect on me I can't hope to explain.
Keeping my expression neutral, I crossed my arms and told him everything.
Who I was, his relation to me, my original mission to destroy all life on Earth and what he should have done when he was a baby.
I told him about his birth planet of Planet Vegeta, how it was destroyed by a meteor, who our parents were, and made sure I emphasized he was not human- he was a Saiyan.
He took it all in. "So you're my older brother... and I'm one of these Saiyans like you are..." he muttered in disbelief.
I looked away, saying nothing. He sounded so confused... and I understood that confusion perfectly.
Then he says something that threw me for a brief loop. He angrily refused anything about himself!
"But-but I'd rather die than kill innocent people and rule the world!"
That conflicted feeling in my heart only grew worse as I prepared to fight my younger brother. "So... you're not going to do as your told. In that case, you leave me no choice."
"W-What are you saying?!" I could see Kakarot hesitate before he falls into his fighting stance. "Raditz, please! You don't have to do this!"
I know! Dammit, I know, Kakarot! But this is too confusing and my chest hurts and- and I can't breathe.
...Younger brother, I have to do this.
I have to defend my Saiyan pride, if nothing else.
We engage in battle, and with my training plus my own memories fully restored, I'm able to hold my own against him. But every punch, every kick we land on each other feels like torture.
He's my brother! My family- the only family I have left!
But I'm a Saiyan! I am a warrior! Dammit, I have to defend the reminder of our race!
I manage to launch a powerful ki blast attack that renders him defeated and beaten on the ground. As I stand over him, I struggle to finish him off completely. Why?!
"Y-You... you don't have to be evil..." he pants below me. "Just look at... look at Gohan! And me! Raditz, you can be better than them!"
I grab at my head, feeling a headache coming on. "S-shut up!" I growl angrily.
"There's nothing to be gained by killing people!" He retorts back just as angrily, sitting up and wincing in pain. "You should understand that by now!!"
I refuse to listen to another word of this. "I... I am a Saiyan! I will not give up my pride so easily!" I exclaimed.
I don't even bother to finish him off. I storm off to the rocky plains to think. I need to think...
Everything hurts. Every part of me hurts but I don't know why.
My chest feels horribly tight. I'm a Saiyan! I should have killed him!
I should have killed him... but I couldn't.
He was so kind to me. He was pushing me to be my best, to be stronger... just like our father.
He's my brother... my family. Shouldn't that mean something...?
"B-Bardock... Father..." I called out helplessly. "What have I done...? What do I do...?!"
I didn't know what to do or where to go from here. I was still a Saiyan on a mission and I knew if Vegeta and Nappa were still coming, I would die for failing to recruit Kakarot into our army-
-beep-beep-beep-
My repaired scouter picked up a transmission and my heart sunk to my stomach. I'd forgotten they could also hear my conversations!
Before I had time to process that, Piccolo landed gracefully in front of me, wearing new clothes.
"There you are." He growled as he tore off the head piece. "This time, I will kill you, and nothing will stand between me and Goku!"
I just sighed and fell into my battle stance. I'd have to worry about Vegeta and everything else in a little bit.
"...you just don't give up..." was all I had the energy to mutter.
Even while I lost my memories, I knew his energy. Evil. Literal evil. He was so determined to end my life. But this time around, I was no longer scared.
No, I thought as I charged at him. I am not afraid.
I think... I was tired. I was torn. And I just wanted to curl up someplace and sleep and forget about everything. My shift in behavior caught his attention as he smirked at me.
"Hmm..." he said, observing me. "It seems you've recovered your memories... this should be interesting..."
I said nothing. Vegeta and Nappa were no doubt on their way to kill me after they saw this planet was still standing.
I wonder... would it be so bad if this one killed me first?
We continue to charge at each other, but my mind was elsewhere and I couldn't think about anything regarding this battle. I rushed and I knew my battle techniques were sloppy but I didn't care.
I honestly couldn't care.
I was able to take him down, despite taking damage of my own. This time, I could kill him. I could finally get him out of my hair!
...except I couldn't. I froze again! Maybe...
"H-hehehe... sounds like being around Goku's made you soft..." he chuckled, spitting out some blood. I felt a sting in my chest at that but disregarded it.
That means nothing. I'm still a damn Saiyan!
"If this is the best you have to offer, you won't stand a chance against them." I mentioned instead, pausing the fight.
That seems to catch his attention because the next question he asks is, "Against who?!"
"Against the others who are coming here in one years time. They are Saiyans who are far stronger than me and will destroy you and this planet." I explain simply. I don't actually stick around to see him process that information.
I have a job to do.
"Kakarot...you never learn."
Kakarot touches down on the ground, alongside Krillin, Piccolo and my nephew, Gohan. I had destroyed a good amount of the city and was in the desert plains, looking for mt next target.
"Raditz... if it's really come to this, we have no choice but to stop you!" He struggles to explain. "You can't keep killing innocent people like this!!"
I stare at him. I can see the same turmoil in his eyes that's in my heart. I hate that I can read that but...
... he's my little brother. Kakarot...
Gohan shares it, too. I wonder if it's a genetic thing, but I shrug it off.
Gohan's always had a soft heart. Even when I had amensia, I saw that in him. Still, I wonder what kind of Saiyan he'll grow up to be...
Piccolo, whom I was fighting mere moments ago, already has his fists ready for a rematch.
"I hate the idea, but I'll team up with them if it means beating you." He growled in annoyance. He seems oddly fine despite us fighting a moment ago.
Even Krillin is in his fighting stance, though he's a bit scared and nervous. "E-Even though you're Goku's brother, we can't let you take over the Earth!"
I uncross my arms and look at all four of them. Aside from Piccolo, I don't want to fight them. Any of them.
But I have to defend my pride... although I'm wondering if it's worth it anymore.
"Fine. Come on then." I raise my fists, my eyes first set on Piccolo as I had just fought him. "Show me what you've got!"
Fighting one on three takes a lot out of me. I can't see straight and my body in screaming in pain with every movement.
But I feel oddly... calm.
This was the first sense of peace I've had since I regained my memories. Even after all I've lived through, fighting them gives me a weird sense of peace.
I'm still terrified to die. I just... I've killed so many innocents. I have blood on my hands that can never be washed away.
Where does someone like me go when they die...?
Knowing who I am, what I've done, Kakarot refuses to kill me. He is going full power, but training with him, I'm easily able to keep up. We're toe to toe, hitting with everything we have, not wanting to face the reality of this... truth.
Kakarot has to kill me to protect this planet.
But I see the same turmoil in his eyes as me... he doesn't want to.
"A-Accept your fate, Raditz!" Kakarot demands, panting as he's struggling to get to his feet. He and the others also battered but he's at least standing compared to them.
A small smirk creeps before I can stop it.
I can't... I'm a Saiyan first, younger brother.
"It's... not over..." I pant heavily, managing to grab Gohan. "You may... have beaten me. But you'll... never stand up to Prince Vegeta!"
"What- no! Gohan! GOHAN!"
I kidnapped Gohan since his father wouldn't comply. Gohan wasn't hurt since he never entered the fray.
Out of habit, or maybe because of all the time we've spent there, my body automatically flew to the only safe place I knew. That island...
The moment I landed, my energy dropped to near zero. Gohan staggered away as I let out a groan of agony.
My body... must've taken more damage than I thought...
"...'cle Raditz?" I blinked. Gohan was inches away, worry filling his face.
He's worried... about me? I never knew why but he always sincerely believed me to be good, like his father...
"Does it hurt?" He asked, little hands covering my injury. I am so dazed I barely processed the question at first.
"...what?"
Gohan kneels next to me, worrying over the many injuries I've sustained. I just stare at him, my head spinning.
"You're not mean, Uncle Raditz! I know you're not!! S-So why... why did you do it?" His voice sounds like... he's crying.
I ponder his question, leaning back against the trunk of the tree. My consciousness wavers in and out... I feel so tired already...
"Uncle Raditz!! Wake up!" I hear a voice that sounds like my own... my childlike self.
"Uncle Raditz!! Please!!" I crack open one eye and spot my nephew over me again.
...he's actually crying... but why...?
"Don't leave us!! Y-you've gotta stay awake!!" He sobs. I tilt my head and look at him. Am I beaten up that badly...?
More importantly, why isn't he afraid? Angry? He can easily escape and leave me- why won't he run and get his father?
Maybe Piccolo was right, I tell myself as I reach out and wipe his cheek. Maybe Kakarot's made me soft like him... like our mother.
But I don't think I mind it so much.
"I'll try... b-but you can g-get away..." I struggle to say. Gohan shakes his head no, and I can't help but chuckle.
Stubborness must run in our family... or is that a Saiyan trait?
"You hafta come with me!! You're family!! Dad knows; he'll forgive you!!"
I lightly smiled and shook my head. "I can't... I... I've done a lot... a lot of bad things, Gohan."
Gohan settles next to me and we both look up a the passing clouds. I feel incredibly weak and I know it's only a matter of time.
"Dad says when you do something bad, you have to make it up. If you're sorry, you can be forgiven." He says, simple and innocent. He rests against me and I can't help but chuckle.
"I... don't think I can... be forgiven, Gohan." I try to explain before I realize this kid is smarter than his age. "I... hurt so many people. I've spilled so much blood..."
I hear Gohan humming in thought. He sounds calmer; I assume he stopped crying. Then, he talks.
"You're my uncle, Uncle Raditz. And you're not bad. I know you're not. So I forgive you." He says confidently, his head resting against my arm.
"And Dad does, too. He doesn't wanna fight you."
It's funny. Looking at him, I look into innocence, one who hasn't been tainted by pure Saiyan instinct... and I see myself.
Before training, before Kakarot... before I was tainted by our bloodline. Our race.
"Gohan... thank you." It's all I can say now. I sense Kakarot approaching and I give Gohan a light nudge as I struggle to my feet.
Kakarot appears, still tired from earlier. I manage to get to my feet, knowing I'm not going to last much longer, but needing to settle this.
He's my little brother. And I can remember all those memories of us as little Saiyans.
Since we were kids, we've always bickered over the silliest of reasons. Whether it was who got to have the bigger piece of meat, or who got to go with Father whenever he went hunting, or who got to help Mother with cooking... we always fought over something...
But he's all I have left. I have to protect him... so he can watch over Gohan.
Kakarot... he can avenge me. Father. Mother. The entire Saiyan race...
With me being so weak, I can't hold out anymore. Kakarot easily takes me down. But I'm not angry. I'm not confused or conflicted for the first time.
I'm... glad. I'm glad if anyone took me down, it was him. He's strong.
I'm proud of you, brother.
"W-Well done, Kakarot..." I can't feel my legs, and before I know it, I'm falling back onto the ground, struggling to breathe and coughing up blood. Gohan is next to me, and Kakarot staggers close.
"G-Gohan... it's okay. I-I get it now..." I can't speak above a whisper, my voice shaking. I don't know why but I felt cold.
I was going to die... but I wasn't alone. So why did I feel so cold...?
"I used to think... power was everything. But I-I see now. I didn't know... what true strength was..."
Kakarot places his hand on my chest. Gohan squeezes my hand with all the strength his tiny hand has, crying and begging his dad to save me.
My heart must be slowing down by now, I assume. I don't feel much of anything, not even cold...
"Stop talking, Raditz, please!" Kakarot pleads. "I forgive you, but you've got to stay with us! You're gonna be alright!"
My vision weakens by the second. I feel my strength waning and give Gohan's hand a light squeeze.
And I stop feeling scared and... let it all go. It's easy now.
Because I'm no longer afraid.
"Caring for the weak... and fighting to protect something... that is true strength...isn't it... Kakarot..." I cover his hand with my own. I don't have the strength to continue speaking.
He'll be the one... he can stop that madman... he will stop him.
Kakarot screams at me, and Gohan is shaking me, but my consciousness completely fades.
'Kakarot, please... for the sake of your father and brother, defend the pride of the Saiyan race...'
I'm not conflicted. Not anymore.
I'm drifting through the darkness. Memories run through my mind... of my parents, of Kakarot, of my nephew and the time I spent with them...
... I wonder if I'm really gone. Kakarot forgave me... doesn't this mean I can rest...?
I open my eyes, not sure what to expect. I find myself back in the rocky field like before. Only there is someone else here, someone... I hadn't seen in a long time...
'Father...?' I don't want to believe it's him... did I really die?
He is soon in front of me, and he puts his hand on my shoulder. He feels... warm... but how? He's dead, I'm dead!
Where did I end up...? How is any of this possible...?!
"Father... I miss you..." I whispered the words before I could stop myself.
He smirked and hopped back, giving me room to gather myself and stand up. As soon as I did, he charged his energy.
"As a gift, you may have a match with me. Come, Raditz! Show me how much you've grown!!"
I didn't know if this was a dream or what. I had so many nightmares after his death, so many scenarios that I could never change the outcome for.
But I charged my energy and prepared to fight against him nonetheless.
Every punch, kick and blast felt light. I felt light.
It was so surreal knowing I was finally able to have a proper dream about my father. He was the same man who raised and trained me... who loved me and my family.
We fought, seamlessly connecting punch after punch, kick after kick. I have improved since he died, and I could see he was impressed.
I still had a lot of growing to do. But I felt proud knowing I could keep up with him.
Kakarot... never got a chance to meet him. He wouldn't know about his grandson, Gohan. There is a lot my family lost when we lost him.
After a long battle, he won. I collapsed, laughing breathlessly. He arched an eyebrow at me as he came over.
"That... was amazing..." I got out at last. Father sat next to me, a bit more composed, but smiling proudly at me nonetheless.
I wanted to spar some more, talk with him more; I had so much to say! But I knew time was short.
I was happy, though. For once, I wouldn't be screaming for my father. I had a new memory to hold onto, a happy time to replay as much as I could.
Maybe there was hope for me after all...
He looked over at me and smiled. I took his features in one last time before I closed my eyes and finally prepared for the afterlife.
"I'm so proud of you, my son." He sounded soft, very unlike my stern dad. But I nodded all the same.
"I don't know how, but I'll see you soon. We'll spar again."
I think I will. I want to spar with him, too. I want to tell him everything on my mind.
Until then... thank you, Father.
I don't know what was going though my mind as I forced myself to leave Roshi's house. I assumed Kakarot brought me here after I passed out.
But I remembered I came in my space pod, and I figured out where it landed.
I know my weakened state was scrambling my thoughts but as I closed the door, I sank against the seat and sighed.
I know what I must do.
I must keep my brother safe.
They cannot destroy this planet.
I am thinking clearly as I input the coordinates. I drop the remote and lean back.
And then I start to laugh. I laugh and laugh because I'm a damn moron and I didn't have to do this but-
I stop laughing and watch as my ship follows the coordinates. I smile, feeling a sense of relief. And then I close my eyes.
My brother... my father... my nephew...
Thank you. All of you.
I heard my ship rapidly approaching its final destination, Vegeta and Nappa screaming into my ear-
-and it was silent and warm once more.
And the last thought I had... was the tree on that island.
Of Gohan.
Of Kakarot.
Of Father.
I'm no longer afraid to die. I know wherever I end up, I won't be alone.
I will see my father again. Kakarot will defend our Saiyan pride. He will grow strong and protect what is important to him.
And Gohan... I've seen his strength. I know he will become a mighty warrior, one worthy of being named a Sayian.
Everything will be alright.
Now... I can finally rest.
Perhaps this was last expression of the love Raditz felt for his younger brother.
...only Raditz knows for sure...
And done!
I've had this idea floating around my head for some time now, and I only just now finally finished the edits for it.
I wasn't expecting it to be this long, though... sheesh...
But I enjoyed this story, and I hope you all do too.
Until next time!