DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.

For full disclaimers, please refer to the first chapter.

Chapter 7

Jane steeled herself and opened the first envelope. She had to give herself a moment, her eyes having become too blurry seeing Maura's perfect calligraphy on the paper.

"My beloved Jane…

I just came back to Boston, to realize you never found the letter I wrote you when I left.

I left it inside your pillowcase, knowing that you would feel it the moment your head hit the pillow.

I didn't count on the fact you would never have hit our bed that day – or after that.

I also learned that you blamed yourself for what happened, and I need you to know you shouldn't blame yourself, and that I never, ever blamed you, not for a single moment.

It seems we are more alike than we ever agreed upon, since both of us had to get really far away from reality to even begin to deal with it.

I am still trying to…

Please read on the next envelopes.

I hope it makes some sense in the end.

No matter where each one of us is, I love you.

M."

Jane stood there, the sobs shaking her with a force she didn't realize she had the energy for. She could hear Maura saying that to her, and it was powerful, and healing, and painful, all at the same time.

When she had regained some control of her emotions, she moved to the second envelope. This one looked a little yellowed by time. Opening it, Jane realized this was the letter Maura had mentioned having written and left to her inside her pillowcase. The usually beautiful calligraphy was trembled and irregular, and there were smudges of tears in the paper, reflecting the state of Maura's soul when she wrote it all those years back.

"Dear Jane,

I failed Mia, I failed you, and I failed everyone in our family by missing to see what was right in front of my medically trained eyes.

I can't… I can't live with myself right now, and I certainly don't deserve to live close to any of you.

I am sorry, so really, really sorry, that I didn't notice anything until it was too late, and that I could do nothing in the end to change the outcome.

This is all my fault…

I know you and everyone else hate me right now, and you have every right to do so, but just know it is not nearly as badly as I hate myself.

The years I had with you, and then with you and Mia, were the best of my life. And I will hold to that memory until the very end.

At the same time, I would understand if you wished to free yourself and severe any bond you ever had with me. I will leave instructions with my lawyers in case you decide to do so, for them to agree to any conditions you define.

I will always love you,

M."

Jane wanted to scream and shout. How could Maura ever have known if there was nothing to be known? Mia had always been a super healthy kid. She barely got sick with a cold in the almost nine years she lived with them. She was a ball of energy, never tired, always curious.

The only thing that could have saved Mia was if Jane had never insisted for Mia to join the Girls' Scouts. Maybe by not having engaged in the agitated games her heart would not have failed so suddenly, and they might have had a chance to identify the illness in less extreme conditions, to get the proper treatment for her, to cure her, to still have her with them.

Jane's heart broke all over again.

God, she didn't know if she was prepared for whatever was in the third envelope, but she opened it the same way. This one was another padded envelope, and inside it she saw a pen-drive and a memory card, as well as two pages, one handwritten, the other typed. She read the handwritten one first.

"Dear Jane,

It was only a couple of weeks ago that I finally found the strength to face my ghosts.

I was going through pictures and movies on my computer, until I found something Mia recorded for a school project that I don't think any of us saw before.

It brought me a small measure of peace like none I have experienced in the past three years.

I wanted to share it with you in the hopes it brings you some peace as well.

That is why I came back to Boston, to share it with you.

I transcripted it for you in case getting access to a computer is too hard wherever you are, but you also have the video in two formats for the remote possibility one of them works for you.

May it remind you from happier times…

With all my love,

M."

There were no computers around, although Jane could always ask Casey to watch it on his. In the meanwhile, Jane would be content to read the transcript. The same way she could hear Maura's voice and see Maura in front of her as she was reading what Maura wrote in the three letters, she could hear and visualize Mia the same way.

"Mia reading from a printed paper from school: 'When do you feel alive the most?' and then raising her smiling eyes to the camera.

'I feel the most alive when I am doing things, things that not everyone can do. When I am running, and jumping, and crawling, and competing, and giving all I can is when I feel the most alive.

I learned that from my Mamma.

I am so looking forward to the Girls' Scouts' Games because I will be competing for a cause.

And that I learned from my Mom.

I will compete to honor kids that, due to different disabilities, cannot do what I do.

I am very proud of doing it.

And I am really happy Mom and Ma are not only making it possible, but supporting me every step of the way, and cheering me up with the whole family.

I don't know if I will win, but I will give my best, and that shall be enough, as Mom would say.'"

Jane was bawling her eyes out. Their precious little baby.

A nurse came in to check on her, given Jane's cardiac monitor was blipping through the roof.

"Rizzoli?"

"I am fine… Could you please find General Casey? And ask him if he could please bring a computer with him?"

"Sure…" the nurse shook her head, but knowing the varying wild moods of this patient from previous tours, decided to obey. The General had been explicit about keeping an eye on her, and informing him of any significant change in her condition.

"Jane… Are you okay?" Casey walked in a few moments later, concern etched in his face as he watched Jane's undone expression, a laptop tucked under his arm. "I brought the computer you asked for." He opened and unlocked it, placing it in front of Jane.

Jane inspected around it urgently, and finding it had an USB entry, plugged the pen-drive in, clicked on play.

There, on the screen, her beloved Mia. Exactly like Maura had transcribed.

Jane realized Casey was holding her while she sobbed, having closed the computer after the video had finished.

Feeling her tense in his arms, he gave her space.

"Is it still possible for me to change my mind about going to recover at home?" Jane asked, her voice broken.

Casey removed the pen drive from the computer, handing it back to her, with a relieved smile on his face.

"Your chariot departs at 0400 tomorrow."