"You're LYING!" she screeched.

Alastor turned to find Ellen had taken the knife and repeatedly stabbed Dolion in the chest and stomach, her voice cracking in anger as she continued screaming at her victim.

"You're lying! You're a liar!"

Alastor had spent a bit of time thinking about this moment and how he would feel about it. He had always enjoyed watching the moment someone finally broke free from their so-called morals. Everyone had a dark side, and they just haven't had a reason to show it yet. But he always liked finding the limit.

The image that was unfolding in front of him now reminded him of little Nifty's chaotic energy. However, he found it odd he wasn't enjoying it like he thought he would. He had always wanted to see Ellen unhinged, unrestricted from the perfect being she always exuded. The thought was supposed to be thrilling, his little doe broken, freed, snapped from the perfect facade she curated for the world, for herself. It was a sight that was common in hell and should add to the thrill. She would fit in perfectly now, the two would be the deadliest duo hell had ever seen, Hells own version of Bonnie and Clyde.

The sight before him, the knife being repeatedly plunged into the chest of Dolion, the man he too wanted dead, the man he too wanted to watch suffer greatly, the man he eagerly waited to witness his undoing, his death, wasn't satisfying. It made his stomach twist in an uncomfortable way that he couldn't seem to understand. This was what he wanted, so why was he not enjoying it, reveling in it? Why did this feel…wrong?

Dolion was long dead at this point, but Ellen didn't seem to notice, continuing with her erratic stabs and carving.

At least he could say that he was proud she had figured out how to wield a knife properly on her own.

He continued staring for a few moments wondering when she would stop, but as time continued to pass even he was starting to get sick watching. And he had always enjoyed a good kill.

"Ellen. My dear, he is quite dead."

She stopped mid stab, knife frozen in the air as she turned slowly to face him. Her whole front, face and even some of her hair had been splattered with blood. The look would have been sinfully delightful if not for the crazed look in her eyes. She was indeed unhinged.

"You!" Her eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, pushing to her feet at a surprisingly quick speed.

At any other time he would have found it amusing to see her approach him with a knife in hand. She couldn't harm him, she was much too disadvantaged to land a hit, but the way she was marching over made it seem like she didn't think so.

His grin tightened, arms crossed behind him as she beelined toward him, knife pointing accusingly, still dripping blood.

"You're going to be straight with me or so help me god you're next, Alastor."

"Mom!"

She didn't even look his way, eyes glued to Alastor. He let out a displeased hum before addressing Xander.

"Off you go Xander, it's safer you not be present for this. We'll catch up later."

Xander gave his dad an incredulous look. "She has a knife."

He grunted, rolling his eyes before slipping into shadow to stand beside his son, lowering his voice.

"Your mother will not cause me harm nor I her, so you have nothing to worry about. Though she's a bit-" he paused for a second eye shifting back to Ellen, looking for a delicate way of explaining without sounding too harsh. After a moment he replied with, "- not herself at the moment. It's probably best you not be present."

Xander looked over to Ellen who had turned to glare at the two, changing her course to follow.

"Oh no, you're not getting out of this Alastor."

He watched Xander's expression shift to a grimace. "What's happening?"

Alastor felt his grin tighten uncomfortably, his chest already hurting at the conversation to come. He knew she'd find out, he'd be foolish to believe she wouldn't. He just didn't want to have to deal with it at the moment. Perhaps after a few days on his own time he would have found a more…delicate way to break the news. It definitely didn't bode well she found out from someone other than himself. He knew the pain it'd cause, he knew she would be furious.

What worried him the most wasn't any possible knife wounds or cuts, in fact he would probably prefer she simply take her anger out in that way. Those wounds would heal, the pain only temporary. No, it was for her to simply turn her back on him for good. A pain that he would not be able to escape. Whether it be Xander's familiar eyes or her room back at the Hazbin, the little monument behind the hotel or reminiscent stories from Charlie and the crew, he could not escape her. She had somehow completely intertwined herself into his afterlife and he couldn't even pinpoint when. How.

No, he would have much preferred she take her anger out in violence like all those in Hell, but she wasn't destined to that fate, she wasn't one to cause physical harm. Instead she would completely shatter him in a way no other had. In a way he wasn't sure was possible, until recently.

He wouldn't blame her if she did. He had, in a way, used her like a pawn in this chess game. Perhaps it was simply in his nature, merely pulling a few strings to get his way. It didn't matter that the end result was what they both wanted, all that mattered was he had betrayed her. That was something that would be hard to forgive.

"It appears I'm getting my comeuppance," he said as evenly as he could manage, refusing to let even a hint of his inner turmoil out to be read. This was a storm for him to battle, to face alone and he knew if Xander stayed and watched, no matter the outcome, Ellen would only be more upset to discover she had snapped in his presence.

He turned back to Xander, giving him a gentle push in the opposite direction. "Now off you go. And don't think I won't know if you shift a few rooms over. It won't do you any good to be listening to any of this either." Xander started to protest but he continued. "She is out for blood. I imagine she will lash out about wherever comes to mind and you don't need to be present for that. Now I won't ask again."

Xander only hesitated for a moment, long enough for Alastor to give him an encouraging nod, before he slipped into shadow.

"Your contract is done, what did you do?" Her tone had gone cold and serious, her breaths uneven, eyes glaring in unbridled rage.

His gaze turned to Dolion, the man that had caused such a tizzy in all three planes. For a fleeting moment he thought about denying the whole thing, deflect, but it was shoved aside as quickly as it came up. There was no way she would believe him. That and it would be tittering very close to the realm of lying, something he had vowed he would not do.

"Alastor!"

His ear flicked at the harsh tone, but he took his time turning back to Ellen. He could see some of the anger starting to seep from her form, though he could still feel the heat of her gaze.

"I could not cause him harm," he finally started, arms moved to cross behind him to keep them from fidgeting, something he hadn't had to do in decades. Sure he had been scolded by Rosie quite a few times in his afterlife, but it was never like this. This was almost reminiscent of his early childhood, of times when his mother had given him a good ear tweaking. There was no one who would ever dare speak to him in such a tone, none that would live to tell the tail anyway.

"Yes I am aware. That's why I had to do it." She waved the knife around to add to her point causing a few droplets to fly off the tip and handle.

He couldn't look at her, eyes gazing past her knowing if he even spared a look it would only make it so much more difficult to push through. An odd feeling, considering he was normally so composed.

"You needed to do it on your own. Without any outside factors."

"And I did. So what is this about Julie?" Underneath the anger there was a hint of shakiness to her tone, like she was afraid of having her suspicions confirmed.

He felt his ears flatten, and it was clear she noticed. He wasn't sure if his face gave anything away, though even if he hadn't, she would have likely seen through him anyway. The sound of the knife clattering to the floor at her feet filled the sudden deafening silence.

"Tell me you didn't." Her voice lost all of her vigor and anger. It became broken, pleading to be wrong. "Alastor please…"

"Julie was aware of the -"

"No." Ellen shook her head, the tone turning angry again. "No, you don't get to stand here and tell me you had planned my BEST FRIENDS death. You don't get to tell me she… she-"

He finally flicked his gaze to her, his face remaining as neutral as he could manage.

"You needed motivation."

"MOTIVATION!?" she roared, turning away, her hands running through her hair, smearing more blood through it. "I can't believe…So you killed my best friend to motivate me?! Are you deranged!?"

He wasn't the one to pull the trigger, though at this point he didn't think that detail would have helped.

She stood toe to toe with him, angry tears threatening to slip from her eyes. Julie had been correct, he had not seen her angry before, but this type of anger wasn't something that could be dealt with logically. No voice of reason could get through to her and aside from bodily harm he never really had to figure out how to diffuse something like this. Typically he just made it worse, egg people on to see how far he could push them. He was completely out of his element.

"Ellen," he tried gently, a hand reaching out to hold her, maybe comfort her with touch. She always seemed to like that, the light brush of his hand or the spontaneous twirl into his chest.

She responded by ripping her arm from his hand. "No."

There was a moment of silence before she quickly turned. He could make out her body trembling. He knew she wasn't cold, he felt the heat emanating off of her, a rare occurrence. It was likely her emotions had gotten to her, the hurt, the shock, the betrayal. This meant he could at least try getting through to her. She would understand. It was all to eliminate Dolion, for the greater good, for human kind and the like. She would have to understand. He wouldn't leave until she did. He couldn't leave her like-

"You can leave," she said coldly, her voice quiet but laced with venom. "Dolion is dead, Xander is safe. Take him and go back to hell and leave me the heck alone."

He knew words could hurt, something he had been told and on a few occasions felt, but not like this. This almost felt like a physical stab wound to his chest. The pain radiating throughout his torso.

"Ellen, surely you don't mean that. I know-"

"I don't want to hear it, Alastor." A small huff. "You really are a smarmy piece of work."

He watched her walk away at a loss for words. Could this be salvaged? Had someone done something like this to him he would never trust them again, hell he'd just kill them. It wouldn't have mattered the reason. But she was more forgiving, better than that. She had to know he wasn't too happy about it either, that it was the only way, but as he continued to watch her walk away panic spiked through his veins.

She had a heart of gold and while sometimes she was far too kind for her own good, she had always been understanding, forgiving. She always gave him a chance to explain, even if she was upset with him. The two had been through hell (literally) and they made it work, it couldn't end like this. Not after everything they had been through.

He couldn't let her walk away, not without at least trying to fix this, trying to get her to understand. He didn't want this. He wanted them to go back to how they were only an hour ago. When she leaned into him, her smile would light up her eyes simply meeting his. He didn't know how he would do it, but he had to try. He would do anything to make it up to her, for however long he needed to. He loved her and for the first time ever, he wasn't sure if that was enough, if she still loved him back; and that was a wound deeper than any knife, blade, or bullet could cause.

A part of him longed to see Rosie. She would undoubtedly give him an earful, but she would know better about what to do, how to fix this, if this was even fixable. His brow scrunched together trying to quickly summon up past conversations. She had rant to him countless times about some of her clients and their shortcomings.

"'Oh yes I've seen this all before, it's a lot more common than ya think. She's mad, and rightfully so, so here's whatcha need to do. You're gonna apologize and you're gonna mean it.' That usually fixes most problems, but this guy? Ha! He's lucky she didn't bite his head off."

She paused for a sip of tea, not bothered by the fact he seemed to be only half listening.

"I'll admit us ladies can be a bit difficult but if ya know how to read a woman you'll save yourself a lot of trouble. He left her. Can you believe it? She said 'get outta my face' and he did!"

She mumbled something incoherent under her breath with an eye roll taking another sip of her tea.

"What do I always say?"

He resisted an eye roll himself knowing this was her attempt to keep him in the conversation, the only reason he really listened was because he knew she would ask him questions.

"Doesn't matter how angry the woman, if she says 'leave' you stay. Within reason." he answered flatly.

Her eyes sparkled. "Oh whatever lady catches your eye will be a lucky one."

He waved a wrist disinterested. "It'll never happen dear. Now this sorry ole chap fix things with his Mrs?"

"Patience," she playfully scolded. "What good is the ending without all the juicy details?"

He slipped into shadows to reappear in front of Ellen holding his arms out in a desperate attempt to stop her, to keep her from leaving, taking a few paces back to keep from touching her. He wasn't sure if it would make her more upset and he needed her as calm as he could manage.

"Ellen please…"

She continued forward, eyes refusing to meet his.

"She agreed to it," he blurted out. "I had discussed it all with her beforehand. I promised her it would be quick and painless. I didn't want her to suffer."

She stopped, biting her lower lip in a failed attempt to keep it from quivering. At least tears he could manage, it also meant she wouldn't speak until she felt better composed. Had the situation been less precarious he may have laughed at the furrowed brow and pout playing on her lips. He swallowed past the tightness in his throat.

"You could not know. Not until after the contract had ended. If you felt at all obligated to kill Dolion because I could not, it would have tied you into the contract, making it impossible for you to cause him harm. You needed to remain ignorant, but you needed the push. It was the only way."

Her gaze hardened again, shaking her head. "She had the shot, if you had just-"

"-She wouldn't have taken it, Ellen."

"You don't know that!" she cried in frustration, the tears finally slipping from her eyes.

"I do!" He hadn't intended for his voice to raise alongside hers. He took a second, letting out a slow breath before repeating more calmly. "She couldn't take the shot even if she wanted to, part of the contract. The second she knew, she was unable to cause Tucker harm, same as I. Which is why it was vital you remain in the dark."

There was a moment of silence, Ellen turning her face away from him, the words hanging in the air, heavy.

"You…" She swallowed, though it only made her voice quieter. "You lead her to her death."

Her heated gaze had crumbled leaving only the hurt and tears. She turned her back to him again, but she remained rooted, a hand trying to hold a choked sob back.

"If there was any chance that you were coerced, forced, guilted or manipulated into doing it, it would have rendered you useless."

"But you did manipulate me into it," she said softly, shifting to take a seat on the floor, knees pulled up, still with her back to him. "Used me to get what you wanted. I should have seen it coming, it's what you've always done regardless of who gets hurt."

The grin tightened uncomfortably on his face. While the pointed jabs weren't great, at least she wasn't angry beyond reason now.

"That's not entirely fair." He moved to sit beside her, keeping a few feet between the two, knees pulled in as well, mirroring her. "I took no pleasure in this, Ellen. It was difficult to keep it all secret to assure the outcome was successful, knowing it would cause you great pain. If it was truly done in manipulation you too wouldn't have been able to kill Dolion. You didn't kill him because I could not; because I asked you to. You had your own reasons, did it on your own volition, that is why you were successful."

His eyes shifted over to look at her as she stared off in silence, taking time to absorb everything he had said. He knew this talk would be slow, one that needed to be done delicately. This was usually an area of expertise for him, all until emotions were added to the mix, now he had no idea how to safely traverse this discussion. It felt like wandering through a minefield. One word out of place or the slip of the tongue at the wrong time and he would be back to where he had started, rekindling the heat of her anger.

Her head fell on to her knees. "And how did you know Julie's death would tip the scales, hmm? Seems like a pretty big gamble for a chance," she mumbled coolly.

He turned away, eyes gazing off into the distance, his voice going unnaturally quiet. Julie had asked him something similar, and while she had accepted a simple confirmation, he knew Ellen would not. And as much as he disliked being open and vulnerable, he knew it was in his best interests to be. He owed her that much.

"Not a chance, I was certain it would work. Personal experience I suppose you could say."

He could feel her eyes on him, but he didn't move his distant gaze, thoughts moving to the life he lived decades ago. Old memories he often pushed down and ignored, too much to let himself dwell on.

"My father murdered my mother," he started bitterly. "But her loss affected me far more than I thought. It was the final straw I needed to kill that wretched excuse of a man and once I started killing, well the rest is history. And I feel no remorse about any of them, they all deserved it, every single one of them."

He braved a look her way to find her gaze glazed over looking somewhere beyond the room they were in.

"I will admit, while I was not the one to 'pull the trigger' so to say, I can't deny I had a part in Julie's death. A death, whilst void of suffering, she didn't deserve. Which is why I felt she deserved to know." He watched her for a moment.

"She knew she was being led to her death." Her voice sounded raw and raspy, like she had spent the last few hours screaming. A huffed breath escaped her, head shaking in disbelief. "And she went anyway."

He took a few moments to let all he had said settle in the air, waiting patiently to see if Ellen would retort, scream, say something instead of leaving them in silence that seemed to be swallowing the room. She did not. Uncomfortable with the lingering quiet he continued.

"Losing someone you love can really push you past what you thought you were capable of. Make you do things you would never do. I'm-" He couldn't help but feel conflicted. It needed to be done, not something to apologize for. He wouldn't go back and change it, it was a necessary evil, a sacrifice for the greater good. So why did it still feel…wrong? Was it the deceit, the betrayal? Was there another way to have killed Dolion?

"I'm sorry. I wish it didn't have to be this way," he said finally.

He waited, hoping the stretching silence would push her to speak but she remained quiet the minutes feeling like hours, her gaze lost in the distance. It was clear her mind was still swirling with thoughts and all he could do was be patient.

AN: So I split this into two chapters, it was getting really long, but I promise to post again soon. I'm hoping to have this wrapped up by April 1st so that can start on a new fic AND it would be my one year anniversary with this fic. :) Stay tuned for the final bit. Got about another 5-6 chapters left! Thanks for bearing with me the past few weeks! 3

Cheers!