I made a post on twitter about wishing that we had got to see Donna inadvertently making Harvey jealous with Mark in season 7. I couldn't get it out of my head and this is the result! This will be a multi-chapter fic where Donna's heart is conflicted, and she has to make a choice between Mark and Harvey. This chapter is not so much a prologue, but just a cheeky little flashback to give you a little sneak peek as I had so much positive feedback about the plot of this one. Enjoy!
There are very few moments in life that you can pinpoint the exact moment something changed.
The exact moment your life starts to veer in a vastly different direction.
The exact moment you're knocked into a different life.
For Harvey Specter, that exact moment came over a year ago, after Mark Meadows walked back into Donna Paulsen's life and fought for her, like he never had.
**FLASHBACK**
East Hampton, New York
Harvey sits on the deck of the ocean-front beach house looking out at the beach, the darkness that surrounds him and the sound of the crashing waves almost soothing. Mark and Donna still haven't returned and everyone else has gone to bed for the night, leaving him somewhere he was all too familiar with lately, alone.
Resting his elbows on his knees, the warm East Hampton breeze dances across his skin and he contemplates losing his henley and chinos and taking a midnight dip in the pool overlooking the moonlight ocean, before his mind inevitably brings him back to Rachel's earlier words, that have been playing on a constant loop in his mind since this afternoon...
"Bullshit! You just don't want him to have her!"
"Why now then?! Why, when she's finally trying to let go of you..."
"Stop screwing with her, Harvey!"
"Why shouldn't she be with Mark? He loves her and wants a future with her."
"Maybe, but it's not enough and Mark's not afraid to take a risk and show her what she means to him, which is exactly what she needs"
"He's fighting for her"
"I don't know, Harvey, but what I do know is, if you don't figure it out and do something about it soon, you are going to lose her for good"
The final words she left him with eerily similar to the ones Donna left him with just two years earlier...
.
obviously, you don't just look at me this way, you're capable of looking at me that way but you don't want to let those worlds collide because you're too afraid to risk anything.
Because we have everything!
No, Harvey, YOU have everything!
So, you're saying you want everything?
I don't know, Harvey. But what I do know is, I don't want your pity.
.
Risk. God he's come to fucking hate that word.
As a closer and a gambler, risk is nothing, just a part of everyday. But with her, it's fucking everything. Because with her it's different.
And he can't ever risk losing her.
But as he sits contemplating his fuck ups over the last few months and reflecting on everything Rachel had said while so vehemently defending her best friend, it's the last eight words that make him feel sick.
You are going to lose her for good
He tries to swallow back the feeling low in his throat, that he recognizes from every single time the notion of not having her around is even touched upon, and his mind takes him back to that day outside her apartment.
I expected you to fight for me!
For the most part they've always managed to toe the line between professional and personal; slotting easily into their roles of attorney and secretary or managing partner and COO. But the reality is, their lines have always been blurred. They drink, they flirt, they protect each other, they're loyal to a fault and confide in each other about everything, they always have, ever since she came to his desk. They're attraction to each other was instant and has never wavered, so much so that when they actually slept together, it didn't actually change anything between them. It had been one of the best nights of both their lives, but the sexual tension, desire and longing they felt afterwards, was already deeply ingrained in their relationship. They've perfected the push pull dance of their professional relationship, ensuring it takes precedence over their personal one, but every so often something always seems to happen to challenge that balance and highlight their deep connection: like Cameron Dennis, Daniel Hardman, the CM mock trial, Stephen Huntley, Liberty Rail, Louis, Paula or Mark fucking Meadows, twice.
It's different this time and he knows it; he can see it in how she's been acting lately, even before Mark came back into her life. He sees it in how she has responded to all his shitty decisions lately. She doesn't want to do the dance anymore; She's done. And the cherry on top? walking in on them this morning. Talk about a fucking gut punch.
His instinct is to challenge her, to make it clear that no matter their history or their feelings, there is no fucking way he's going to do a god damn thing while there is another fucking guy in the picture. But he knows she's so far beyond that point that it wouldn't make a difference. She needs action, not words, she wanted more, and Mark is giving her exactly that. All while he's still hiding how he feels like a scared little girl.
He closes his eyes and exhales, "Get it together. Stop being a fucking pussy." He whispers to himself through gritted teeth.
Fucking idiot.
It's been two months of this shit; Two months since Mark showed up. Two months since Donna let him in again. Two months of struggling to be around her and he can't fucking take it anymore. Just as he's trying to figure out what he's going to say to her, a familiar giggle draws Harvey's attention to his right, where he sees Donna and Mark walking hand in hand back to the house from the beach, the path illuminated by the streetlamp behind them. He clenches his jaw, and that sick feeling returns when he sees Mark whispering in her ear, causing that beautiful smile to stretch across her face.
"You are incorrigible," she giggles, and as they climb the stairs to the side of the deck, Mark pulls her hand back.
"Care for a swim?" he asks as Donna turns to face him.
"Now?" she asks, clearly surprised.
"Mhmm" he nods.
"It's nearly midnight and it looks like everyone's asleep" she says like it's obvious, pointing towards the house.
"Exactly," he agrees, "It's just us."
Not quite, asshole. Harvey thinks to himself, deducing that they obviously can't see him tucked away in the dark corner. The only light emanating is from the blue underwater pool light.
"Bathing suits optional" Mark adds with smirk
"Incorrigible" she says again with a chuckle, as she heads over to the water's edge.
Mark pulls his t-shirt off, and Donna lifts her dress over her head, still wearing her bikini from earlier underneath it, they discard their clothes and slip into the water.
Fuck, she's so beautiful.
Sitting on the steps, Mark looks over at her "Are you feeling okay about earlier?"
"Earlier? Oh, you mean, everyone walking in on us having sex? yeah, greeeat" she says sarcastically, making him laugh.
"I'm sorry, I should have locked the door behind us," he offers.
"I didn't either, Mark" she counters.
"You know, I saw the look on Harvey's..." he starts
"Can we not talk about Harvey?" she interjects.
Harvey clenches his jaw tighter and notices how sore it's starting to feel. What? She can't even hear my name now?, he thinks.
"What do you want to talk about?" Mark asks.
"Who says I want to talk?" she says with a sultry smirk.
Fuck.
Mark smiles and leans in to kiss her, pulling her towards him to straddle his lap.
Harvey wants to move; to get up and move inside, but he can't. It's like he's glued to the spot and unable to move a muscle.
He can only watch as this nightmare unfolds right in front of him. A fucking car crash that he can't look away from.
After making out for while, Mark buries his hand in her hair as he kisses her harder, plunging his tongue into her mouth. Donna moans in response as she grinds against him, and she feels his other hand pulling at the strings of her bikini. Mark pulls the bikini off her, exposing her breasts, and leans down to capture her nipple in his mouth.
Harvey's nose twitches slightly as he seethes. Fuck I love those breasts, they should be in my mouth right now, not his. Balling his hands in to fists, he realizes he hasn't wanted to punch someone this badly since Stephen Huntley; and it's not lost on him that that also involved Donna.
He watches as Mark kisses the spot on her neck that he knows that she loves, remembering it from their one night together twelve years ago. He remembers everything from that night; every touch, every moan, every way her body responded. It's how he can tell something is holding her back right now, and that she seems distracted.
Mark lifts her and turns, placing her on the edge of the pool. Kissing his way down her chest and stomach, he encourages her to lay back and pulls at the strings of her bikini bottoms removing them too. He drops his mouth straight down to her pussy and it makes her hips jolt at the contact.
"Fuck" She breathes out, looking down at what he's doing before dropping her head back against the deck.
Harvey watches as he eats her out, noticing her chest rising and falling quickly as her breathing accelerates. He wishes it were him going down on her and right now, as fucked up as this situation is, he can feel himself getting harder at the sight of her. Donna squeezes her breasts and her panting increases; she rolls her head to the side with her eyes still closed as she tries to focus on Mark's ministrations. It's when she opens them again that a noticeable gasp escapes her mouth and Harvey knows she's noticed him sitting there. He is surprised that she didn't jump up at the sight of him there, mere meters away from them, he's even more surprised that she doesn't stop. Instead, she keeps locked into his stare and becomes noticeably more vocal as a deep moan escapes her. Minutes pass by with Harvey still keeping her gaze and for a second he wonders if she can tell he's thinking about the other time and the way here body was so responsive to his. He notices the way her body shudders as he watches her, and he can tell this is turning her on, and if he didn't know any better, he'd swear its him she's responding to and not just Mark.
"Oh, fuck" Donna cries out, arching her back slightly, still staring straight at him. Harvey can tell that she's close and his own breathing speeds up, without even thinking he reaches down to grip his hard-on through his pants, rubbing it in a vain attempt to ease some of the pressure in his groin and one that seems to have an instant effect on Donna.
"Oh, shit, yes!" she moans, one hand squeezing her breast while the other grips Marks hair, urging him on, "Yeah, just like that".
Mark slips two fingers into her pussy and starts fingering her, simultaneously licking and sucking her core, while finger fucking her faster and faster.
"Oh, God" she moans, her body trembling as her climax approaches.
She keeps her eyes on Harvey as her back arches and her orgasm hits her hard and even after when she's panting and trying to slow her breathing down. Her gaze only shifting from his when Mark pulls her back into the pool and slams his lips against her, letting her taste herself on him.
"That was so fucking hot," Mark says, in a low tone.
"Why don't we finish this in our room, I'm getting cold" she lies.
As Mark kisses a trail from her lips to her neck, she turns her head in Harvey's direction, finding his gaze still on her. However, this time he can see the seriousness in her eyes and see the challenge she's putting forth. It's as if they're in a silent game of poker where he can read every play.
Bet. What do you want, Harvey? What are you going to do?
Check. Are you going to run? do nothing like you always do?
Raise. Fight for me. He sure as shit is.
Call. What's it gonna be? fight or bail?
Fold. If you don't want me, just walk away and let me move on.
Please.
Harvey stares back at her and takes the breath he didn't realize he was holding.
Fuck it, he thinks to himself, if I don't do this, I've lost her anyway. What do I have to lose?
I'm all in.
As I mentioned at the start, this is just a little flashback, the next chapter will go back in time, starting from when Mark first returns. The Hamptons trip/full conversation with Rachel will be re-visited later in the story.
Let me know what you think x