Detection
Renesmee POV
"I'm bored," I announced with a sigh to prove my point. Not that it wouldn't be abundantly obvious considering I was lying on my back staring at the ceiling with nothing else to do.
"Well what do you want to do? You wouldn't have told me if you didn't have a solution."
"You're probably not going to want to after having done it ten thousand time—"
"We can have sex again," Emmett interjected, a grin pulled across his face the instant he spoke. He walked across the room from where he'd been playing some game on the computer and perched on the end of the bed.
"Well yes, but I want to do something else as well."
"So you wanna have sex before or after this other thing?"
I laughed at his single track mind and rolled my eyes. "Before, after, during, it goes for a while so I don't think either of us could abstain for the whole duration."
"Duration? What the hell do you want to do?"
"Experience high school," I answered casually, ignoring it when Emmett flopped forward and buried his face in the mattress.
"What for?" he mumbled into the quilt.
"It kills time and I've never been, so I'm curious."
"There's really nothing exciting about it. It's repetitive and you already know everything they'd teach, and more. For our kind, it's not a social thing either, you can't make friends because it's too dangerous. The only reason I've been so much is because we lived in such a large group and had to seem normal because our presence couldn't go undetected. It can here, we're two people in the whole of Astoria. No one's going to notice us, so why bother acting normal?"
I sighed and Emmett sat up slowly. "It's not about acting normal. If it's as bad as you say then I'm obviously going to get bored and we can pretend to transfer away." I bargained.
"At the end of the semester you get bored in or at the end of the year."
"End of the week," I answered quickly. "If I get sick of it I'm not going to want to go back for one more day."
This time, it was Emmett that sighed then he nodded reluctantly. "Fine..."
My smile widened and I scrambled down to the bottom of the bed. He pulled me into his arms as soon as I was close enough and I squeezed my arms around his broad shoulders.
"I'll make it fun, I promise," I said with my face now pressed against his shoulder.
He hummed disbelievingly. "You're so lucky I love you."
"I know." I nodded.
"And that I'll let you have your little adventures."
I nodded again.
"And that I have no down time."
I giggled. "I know."
"Now give me a kiss because the least you can do is treat your completely adoring boyfriend kindly."
There was no argument in that. I still felt bad sometimes for how I treated him last year. The feel of his lips after our first kiss never left my memory, but I had to give him the chance—even push him a bit—to stop before it was too late.
It was definitely too late now.
I laved gentle kisses along his jaw until I got to his lips, then cupped my hands beneath his ears with my thumbs on his cheeks. My lips curved around the firmness of his and the alluring tang of his skin soaked into my mouth. A moan left me before I could help it; he always managed to cut off any sense of control over myself that I had.
His tongue lightly tickled my lips before sliding between them without any resistance from me. We both moaned this time then broke the kiss, but stayed close together, still holding on to each other.
It was finally getting comfortable now.
Not so erratic and random, but still fun nonetheless.
I scratched my nails lightly over back of his head and his hands rubbed along my sides affectionately. His nose skimmed over my hair, inhaling, then nuzzled in near my temple.
"I love you," he whispered and pulled me tighter to his chest.
"I love you too, sweetie." I leant up and kissed his jaw once more then started extracting myself from his hold. "You don't have to go with me if you don't want to, you know."
"And let some little punk convince himself that he has a chance? No way." He immediately began shaking his head dismissively. I smiled as I dropped back into the plush feather quilt and stretched my legs out over his lap.
"Doesn't matter what they might convince themselves of. They'll never convince me. But I'm glad I don't have to walk around alone on the first day... and every other day since we're not supposed to be nice to the humans." The mocking was obvious in my voice as I spoke the last few words, Emmett smiled at it.
"Ignoring them is the kindest thing you can do. That way they're not in danger."
"Wanna have sex now?" I asked in a normal conversational tone.
Emmett shrugged and nodded with a wide grin. "Okay."
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Eight Weeks Later
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So the whole don't talk to the humans thing didn't last very long. About three days actually.
Emmett still disapproved but he sat politely next to me at the lunch table, smiling every now and then when it was expected or appropriate. He was doing exactly that today, allowing me to lean back against him as he gazed around the cafeteria while the rest of us ate the half-suitable food that had been served to us today. Occasionally Emmett and I had to do an incredibly disgusting food transfer disguised as a kiss when someone realized that a guy his size hadn't eaten and he had to put whatever human food was in front of him into his mouth.
At least he didn't chew it...
"Ness, my arm's going dead," Emmett muttered loud enough for the three other people at the table to hear.
I held back a smirk and changed positions so we didn't look unnaturally still all the time. "Sorry. I must be getting fatter," I apologized.
"Yeah, you must be," he agreed casually then pretended not to notice Mia pointing her water bottle at him. A quick squirt hit him on the shoulder, but only I caught the eye roll before he turned to give her a look of annoyance.
"What was that for?" he asked while rubbing the water off his neck.
"Lying and being mean to my friend," she replied instantly.
I smiled and winked at her.
"Trust me, if she thought I was serious she'd do a lot more than squirt water at me. She's got an unbelievable mean streak," he assured her just a second before I grabbed the bottle and shot another line of water right at his face. "What the hell was that for?!" Emmett demanded, wiping the water off in the collar of his shirt.
"Lying," I answered with a bit of a bite to my voice. A smile quickly covered my frown then I continued in a much happier tone. "It's totally believable."
The bell went right before Emmett could argue back and with a disgruntled hum he stood and we all started trudging out to our next class.
:-:-:-:
This is totally ridiculous, I thought to myself whilst on the verge of unconsciousness.
The bell was due to go in a minute, and Mrs. Ferrier was still chattering away about the Renaissance.
From across the room I could hear soft counting, backwards from twenty. The clock by the door showed that they were counting down the last few seconds until the bell. Now fifteen.
I found myself mentally counting along with them.
Not only was this class even more boring than it was when it started, I was thirsty and needed to pee.
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
One...
And off went the bell. Blaring, rattly and freeing!
We all stood from our chairs and I headed for the girls bathroom as soon as I was out of the room. As I walked, I could hear Emmett's footsteps behind me in the corridor as he exited from his classroom.
When I reached the bathroom, I entered and went to the first stall. The door had just shut when the main door opened and half a dozen girls came in.
I pulled out a toilet seat cover and slipped down my pants quickly and began relieving my bladder.
The girls chattered away outside the door—the smell of lipstick filled the air through the usual scent of pee.
One separated from the group when I was about halfway through and went into the stall next door. I heard the rustle of clothes, then a heavy burst of blood scent wafted under the stall divider.
Holy shit! I gabbed a handful of my skirt material in both hands and tried not to growl as the smell off the girls blood triggered my hunting instincts after three weeks without feeding on anything but human food.
She was relatively fast about the tampon change if I was honest with myself, but every second was torture.
I could actually feel myself getting aroused by the thought, the fantasy, of feeding on her. Not even biting her, just drinking the blood that was already freely flowing from her.
Fuck, pull it together, I ordered myself.
Very rigidly, I finished up and waited in the stall for them to leave. I couldn't risk getting too close.
When I was finally alone in the bathroom, I cautiously opened the door and went to the sink to quickly wash my hands.
My eyes caught sight of my reflection in mirror—shocking me a little into further sobriety. I looked like a vampire. Not just preternaturally beautiful, but dangerous. I looked like a scary predator.
Oh fuck. I splashed water over my face a few times, literally trying to wash it off. Pull it together, Nessie. Emmett's waiting for you, I coached myself mentally.
After a few more deep breath, I grabbed some paper towel and dried my skin then headed back to the door.
"I need to hunt," I whispered so low only Emmett would hear as I rejoined him in the hallway.
"Me too," he replied at the same volume, taking my hand in his before we walked out into the chaos of the school parking lot. "Now or when it gets dark?"
"Now," I instantly replied. His hand tightened around mine upon hearing the urgency in my voice and he started walking faster towards the trees across from the school.
I released his hand as soon as I heard a small heart beat and raced towards where the hare was hiding in a fallen tree trunk. It took only a minute or so to completely drain it, but when I turned around Emmett was standing behind me with four more struggling rabbits. I took them one by one and he patiently waited until I finished, then promptly slammed me back into a tree and attached his mouth to the trail of blood dripping down my chin.
Roughly, I tangled my fingers in his hair and pulled him back so I could meet his lips with my own. Blood lust quickly gave way to sexual lust. His hands gripped me tightly, moving over my body until he reached my right arm with his opposite hand, then in a flash it was over my head and jammed against the rough bark of the tree.
At that moment I didn't care that it was broad daylight, or that we were outside.
Emmett's mouth moved back to my chin and his cold tongue lapped up the blood from my jaw as his fingers trailed down the underside of my arm. His hand reached my shoulder and slipped down to palm my breast over the material of my shirt.
I moaned uncontrollably, feeling his lips suckling on my skin and his fingers rubbing over my nipple. For a moment his hand left my body and slid down my side, pausing at my hip to pull me harder against him, then tucked under my shirt and moved back up to my ribs again.
Once more his lips matched up with mine; his tongue entering my mouth instantly. I parted my lips to welcome him in just a moment before my bra cup was lifted and his chilled fingers directly touched my nipple. Another moan rattled in my chest at the sensation.
"Uhhh..." I shuddered in a quick breath then reconnected our mouths. While his left hand remained busy teasing my already hard nipple, his right moved to the button of my pants and quickly flipped the two open, followed by the zipper.
I reached between us and unbuttoned his pants as well then wriggled free and pulled them down to the back of his knees. His cock sprang free right in my face and I wasted no time in taking him in my mouth.
His fingers twisted in with my hair and pulled me backwards and forth to his leisure. I normally hated that—the feeling that he was using me—but right now it was a strangely intense turn on.
I rubbed my tongue along the underside of his cock as I pulled back and released him, sucking and swallowing with him moaning above me.
"That's my good girl," he whispered encouragingly. "Harder."
I put my hands on his ass cheeks and squeezed tight, then pulled him hard towards me and swallowed him down my throat.
"Ohh fuck yes!" he growled and thrust faster. "I'm gonna fuck you... so hard, unf, shit!"
I swallowed around him a few times, using those muscles to massage his full length. The sweet flavor of his venom based precum smeared throughout my mouth.
"Stop, I wanna be inside you now," he ordered breathlessly and reached down to pull me back up. His right hand went between my legs and swiftly pushed my panties off to the side before dipping a thick finger into my pussy. His palm pressed against my clit as he pushed the finger deeper—my muscles weakened more each second he remained inside me.
"Oh God, that feels so good," I whispered, leaning into his chest. He added a second finger and slid them in and out deeply, taking my breath and words away.
"Ready?" he asked. I nodded and then whimpered as his fingers left me. The head of his cock touched me a moment later and rubbed along the length of my pussy, pausing to slide against my clit for a few seconds.
"Ah, yes, hurry," I pleaded and hitched my leg on his side, rocking my hips against him. He didn't need to be asked twice; a moment later he was thrusting right into me, gliding easily in my slick juices. The sensation of him filling me and moving deep in my belly made my head spin, and I held onto him tight as my legs weakened from it all.
His right arm slid up my back and he curved his hand over the top of my shoulder from behind. At the same time, his left arm wrapped around my hips and held me steady front of him.
I bit down on my bottom lip, but it soon slipped free when I drew in a deep breath. Emmett's fingertips pressed harder into my hip and shoulder and his thrusts sped up. I could tell already it wasn't going to take him long at this point given how tightly he was gripping me and how erratic his movements were.
"Let me in deep, honey," he panted with his lips against my hairline. The rough sound of his voice nearly undid me in an instant purely from how obvious it was that he loved this as much as I did. Wanted me as much as I wanted him.
His movements slowed down then and he curled me in even closer in the cage of his arms as he ground his cock deep inside of me, barely thrusting, just burying himself to the hilt and pressing against my clit at the same time.
Suddenly his head moved down to the side of my neck and he pressed his face into the darkness there, sending shivers through my whole body when his lips pressed against my jugular.
"Fuck... I'm gonna come," he whispered, then kissed the spot again as he released inside me just a few moments later.
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Four Weeks Later
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"So what are the odds?" Emmett asked without so much as a hello when we met up outside. He was referring to this morning's raincheck of course.
"I don't have any homework; I've read Romeo and Juliet already; I'm in a fairly good mood, and you're looking exceptionally delectable in those jeans... so... I'd say about a ninety percent chance we can have some level of fun when we get home." I looked up to his face as we walked through the nature strip between the school and the road; I had never seen him smile so widely.
"Feel like a run?" he asked, still beaming with excitement.
The walk home usually took twenty minutes, not a very substantial amount of time to wait, but he was clearly extremely anxious after the last week of unintentional celibacy. I rolled my eyes then nodded and we started running at a human sprint.
Five minutes later we were on the sidewalk in front of the house, slowing to a jog. We successfully made it up the stairs before I wasn't on the ground anymore. My back was pressed against the front door with my legs around Emmett's waist and his body flat up against mine. One arm was holding me up as we started kissing while the other dug around in his back pocket for the keys.
We'd run out of replacement latches after the tenth time he'd forgotten that we actually locked the doors here and busted it off.
The keys jingled then slipped in the lock and a moment later the door disappeared from behind me.
A low rumble started in Emmett's chest, but suddenly stopped and his arms went stiff.
"What's wr—?" That's when I caught the scent.
Alice!
I pushed away and got back to my feet then started looking for her. Breathing noises were coming from the kitchen, one set, so for some reason Jasper didn't seem to be here with her.
We walked over to the door and stopped when short, thin legs came into sight dangling over the edge of the counter between the fridge and sink. I ran my fingers through the front of my hair nervously then walked forward and came face to face with the sullen expression of my estranged aunt.
Her eyes moved from me to Emmett and back again a few times then dropped to her lap.
"We've spent the past six months looking for you," she started in a soft tone. "We thought something or someone had taken you, or worse!" Her eyes focused on me again. "Your parents have been going crazy! Every day they get worse, your mother doesn't even talk to any of us anymore, your father only lives each day in the hopes that you'd turn up miraculously. And Jake! Where on earth is the baby?! There's no baby stuff here, no pictures, no nothing!"
Her voice had turned shrill now, clearly panicking over a non-existent child.
I took a breath then let it out gently. "Don't worry, Alice. It didn't die or anything," I told her calmly.
Her face turned confused.
"There never was one," I continued, receiving an even more confused expression.
"What?" she whispered.
"I lied," I mumbled.
"Why would you lie about something like that?! What did you even lie for?!" Her hands joined in the confusion now, flailing around as she spoke without any clue of what was happening—or had happened.
"I needed the distraction," I answered honestly. Emmett's hand touched my back gently as he moved a bit closer to me.
"Alice, how did you even see us?" he asked calmly, much calmer than Alice.
She looked up the foot and a half of height difference between her and him. "I saw you here the day before yesterday," she answered at a softer volume that reflected Emmett's. "I didn't even tell the others I was leaving, I thought maybe whoever had you had taken Nessie somewhere else so I was finally able to see you and I just left to try and help however I could. I never thought I'd get here and find... this."
"Well when you realized we weren't taken, why didn't you just leave again?" I questioned under my breath.
"I guess I didn't want to believe it. I'm not sure what's a worse pain; you being taken, or you leaving of your own accord." Her face changed its contortion again, this time to pain. She by all rights should have had tears in her eyes. I almost wanted to hug her, but that seemed like such an unnatural thing to do now. "I'll just go," she decided and slipped off the counter, we were just inches away at that point. "So what do you want me to tell them I found?"
"Tell them anything you like. Whatever's the easiest for you to deal with. You found us, you didn't, it doesn't matter because we can't go back and I for one don't want to," I murmured sadly. Emmett's hand pressed into me deeper, I wanted to turn back and let him wrap his arms around me, but I couldn't.
Not yet at least.
"How can you just leave? Don't you love us?"
I could hear her voice crackling; I could almost feel her heartbreak as she stared at my face, waiting for an answer. I did love the rest of the family. I even loved Jake, despite what I'd done to him.
But my love for Emmett was stronger. That was the one I needed.
"Not enough to come back," I answered. "If I didn't love you I'd have stayed and forced you to watch this day in day out. I know how it's affecting you. I can see it right now, and I love you enough not to make you watch."
"But you don't love us enough to stop." It was a question but she said it like a statement. It was true.
I shook my head. "I don't love anyone that much. If I did I'd love them more than Emmett and that isn't possible."
Once more Alice's head tilted up and she looked at Emmett.
"Don't you love Rose?" she asked.
He nodded gently then curled his arm around me like I needed and turned me to face his chest. "I do. But I love Ness even more. This is a different, stronger, kind of love. I'm not going back either, even if we are welcome—which I doubt would be the case if the others knew everything."
She didn't argue with that. I knew Alice wouldn't try and speak for the others, but if she did it probably wouldn't result in us returning to them.
"What exactly happened? If I tell them I found you two, what am I meant to say when they ask how you ended up... like this?"
"We're together, Alice, you can say together," Emmett said with a rough sigh on the end.
I turned my head to the side on his chest so I was still wrapped under his arm with my right one around him, but now I could see her face as I spoke, "Like, a year and a half ago, I started to get really irritated when Jake wouldn't do anything with me. Emmett noticed when the rest of you didn't, or maybe you just didn't realize how much it bothered me, but I started to lean towards him for comfort, and in the process I saw him as more than a friend. I'd always loved him, but a romantic attraction began to form. I started wanting him more than Jacob, and I at least knew he wanted me back.
"Then I decided to be really mean to him, teasing him and to a certain degree, infuriating him in the hopes that he'd start to hate me and I wouldn't have to deal with my love of his sweet side. I figured if I mocked him enough he'd pull away from me, but he didn't and I loved him all the more for it. He stuck with me and when he still didn't hate me even when I said I was pregnant I couldn't keep pretending it would go away anymore. Even before I told him I was lying, he said that the only reason he wouldn't love me was because he couldn't do it to the child. But there wasn't one and neither of us could keep pretending it was just a little infatuation. We did for over a year. If it was a crush it would have dimmed by now, but I love him more than I did then. It's just getting stronger."
"Okay!" Alice suddenly interrupted. "Please, stop. I can't deal with it all at once. If I had a bit more time to just get used to the idea before you started telling me how you feel about each other, it might be easier, but I've had two hours, so could you please let me process this?"
I closed my mouth and nodded. "Of course. You can stay if you like, neither of us have anything against you."
"Is there somewhere I can just sit and relax for a bit? I don't want to leave when I still need to talk to you." She glanced between us, waiting for an answer.
I slipped my hand under the back of Emmett's shirt and showed the two of us in the bedroom lying down. He squeezed his arm around me for a moment, giving me his agreement.
"We're gonna go downstairs, so anywhere up here or if you want some fresh air there's some chairs and other stuff in the backyard," he replied politely.
A nanosecond later Alice's face went tense again. "Um... I know I can't tell you what to do, but can I ask for something?"
We both nodded simultaneously.
"Could you not have sex when I can hear?" she requested.
Lighter this time, we both nodded again.
"Sure. We definitely won't be right now. Shock and all that..." I said in an attempt to calm the worried lines on her face. It worked for the most part. Without another spoken word, we split up, Alice headed outside and I went downstairs to the bedroom with Emmett.
"I expected her to be angry," he murmured quietly as we both sat down on the edge of the bed and laid back on top of the covers.
I nodded. "She's probably in shock or something and just taking it as best she can."
"It's not that bad, right? It's not like I'm your brother or your father."
"If I felt this way about you it wouldn't matter even if you were. But no, you technically weren't anything more than friends of my parents. Regardless of what the cover story was, I don't think us being together is wrong." I rolled onto my side and put my head on his chest then closed my eyes—hoping that it would just go away, a bad dream, she'd just disappear as if she never had that vision and I'd know to be more cautious with how far apart we get from now on.
:-:-:-:
About three hours later, I was just about to sleep when I heard Alice open the back door and come into the house.
We sat up on the edge of the bed and I smoothed down my hair a bit from where Emmett had messed it up by absentmindedly toying with it.
"Come on down," Emmett consented and her footsteps tapped down the stairs.
I managed a small smile when the door opened, but not much more than that.
"Hey," she whispered, unsure of where to stand.
I didn't like that she was so uncomfortable around us, though it was understandable. I didn't like knowing that we were causing it.
"Um... I've decided it would probably be for the best if I didn't tell the others that I found you guys," she told us, "It would just cause problems and you're quite obviously not feeling guilty about this, so a pointless fight should just be avoided. I'm gonna go home—we live in New Hampshire now, we finally made the move. So I'll just say I needed some time away." She shrugged stiffly.
"You're sure?" I asked. "You don't need to cover for us."
"I'm not. I'm protecting the others. They're better off not knowing you made the choice." With one more half hearted smile she turned and left.
Leaving us with nothing to say to each other for the next two days.
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Two Weeks Later
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Again, I fidgeted in the car. Putting my feet up on the dash for a few seconds before letting them fall heavily back to the floor. Emmett pretended not to notice, but I knew he did.
"Who do you think will be the worst?" I asked. My voice was too loud and my words were run together from the nerves, but I had to say something to break the silence.
We were about halfway across the country at this point, and with the exception of a few words spoken right before we left, nothing had been said since we agreed to go and face the family. It was a combination of not wanting Alice to have to silently carry the burden of knowing, not wanting to have to hide for the rest of eternity, and the fact that our relationship was going down since her visit, that had caused us to decide this.
Alice had said New Hampshire; they were most likely there for Dartmouth. So if their scents were on campus, it would only be a matter of time until we found them before or after class one day.
"Who will be the worst to face, or who will have the worst reaction?" he asked, tension evident in his voice.
"Both."
"I can't imagine looking Esme in the face. Edward will be the one to worry about."
"You're not worried about Rose?"
He shook his head. "If she speaks at all I'll be shocked. Are you worried about Jake?"
"I don't know how I'm going to explain to him that there is no baby without him thinking I killed or lost it."
"I don't know." He sighed, pursing his lips after.
When he still didn't look at me, something snapped and tears started running down my face. I hadn't cried since the night I lost my virginity, but it was for the same reason. I was losing him, slowly, but each little bit was collecting. That night it was because Jake was the wrong person, now it was because I'd finally gotten the right person to myself and this shit was making us drift apart.
"Fuck." Emmett growled under his breath as he pulled the car off to the gravel beside the road. A couple of seconds later he was leaning over me from my door to undo my seatbelt before pulling me out into his arms. "I know, baby. I hate it," he whispered into my neck.
"I miss y-you." I swallowed thickly in a vain attempt to control my tears.
He nodded with his cheek pressed against mine. "I miss you, too. You're right here and I feel like you're gone. I hate it."
I looped my arms around under his and curled my hands over the tops of his shoulders from behind to lock him in place. We barely touched each other anymore, not for very long anyway. Every day seemed to go on forever—a very tense, never-ending day. I took a few deep breaths and blinked the tears from my eyes once they stopped forming new ones.
It was okay when he was holding me. Or, better at least.
"Do you want to go home?" Emmett asked quietly. "They don't know we're coming; we can go home."
I shook my head. "No, we're going for a reason. We need to go," I decided.
He didn't respond.
I'm not sure how long we stood there, but by the time we were ready to let go and get back in the car, the sun had finished setting and the stars were well and truly up.
:-:-:-:
"I can smell them," Emmett whispered to me as we walked through the busy college car park.
I nodded. "Yeah, me too. Should we wait here or follow them home?"
"Wait here," he decided. "They probably don't want us at the house. Besides, they'll smell us if we leave."
A familiar silver car caught my eye further down the parking lot. Dad's silver car. I nodded towards it. "Look."
He looked over and his breath caught. "I was hoping they weren't actually here tonight," he mumbled.
I took a deep breath, grasped his hand, and then started for the car. The night courses were finishing up now, everyone was leaving without so much as glancing at where we were standing against the brick wall the car was parked in front of.
A few minutes passed—about ten, maybe fifteen—then a group of inhumanly pale students walked out of the front door. Mom and Dad were in front with Rosalie off to the left, Alice and Jasper a few steps behind. My hand tightened around Emmett's, but I didn't say anything.
Alice spotted us first, her eyes went wide and her walk slowed. Next was Dad, he looked over abruptly then came to a complete stop, grabbing both Mom and Rose at the same time. His eyes were distant though, he wasn't so much looking at us as focusing on us. Reading our thoughts. Both Mom and Rose looked over to the car at the same time and got matching expression of shock and desperation.
Desperation to reach us.
They both struggled after a long moment of staring. Mom broke free, but Dad managed to hold Rosalie tighter with both hands.
"Don't," I heard him whisper to her as I watched Mom attempt to look human in her fast approach. "Look at them," he added right before I was winded by the force of Mom's arms locking around me.
"Nessie!" she gasped into my shoulder. I knew I should have held her too, but I was frozen. Heavy maybe. I didn't have the strength to lift my arms to wrap around her. I just let her hold me, watching Rosalie study us from forty feet away.
Her mouth slowly cracked open and she stopped struggling. The next movement was Jasper curling forward a bit like someone had hit him. I knew he was feeling what we all were, and that was surely unbearable. Alice broke eye contact with us and started pulling him down the driveway, away from us and the emotional bomb that had just exploded.
A few rough jerks and Rose managed to free herself then she ran off into the darkness.
"Where were you?!" Mom demanded, managing to pull back. "We even checked with the Volturi in case something shady was going on. What happened?!"
I looked over to where Dad was standing on his own now. He was glaring at Emmett like he could kill him with a look.
"Um... we were in Oregon," I answered, looking back to Mom.
"Why?!" she frowned with confusion.
"Bells—"
Mom looked up to Emmett—seeming to only realize his presence then judging by the look of shock then the way she jumped up and hugged him. "Emmett!" she gasped then let go to look at him again.
"Mom," I said to get her attention. She looked back then suddenly pivoted around to look over her shoulder, finding only Dad who was now strolling towards us in a casual, but threatening way. "Mom!" I repeated, louder than before.
"Why were you in Oregon? Where's the baby?" She looked down to my stomach then back to my face.
"There was no baby, I lied!" I shouted.
Finally, she looked directly at my face.
"Why would you lie about that?" she asked quieter than before.
My voice dropped in volume, too. "Because I needed to distract you."
Her face turned suspicious. "To do what?"
"Get away from you all."
"Why would you want—"
"God! Don't you get it?! Everyone else does! We're together! I said that I was pregnant to create a diversion so we could run away and live together because I'm in love with him! Do you get it now?! There is not one minute of every day that I don't want to be with him. So if I can't be in contact with my parents without you two trying to break us up, then we'll go home. But at least you know we're alive now. You can stop looking."
Silence fell over the four of us then. While we'd come here very sure and committed to the plan, the reality of it unfolding was quickly making it feel like a very bad idea.
–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_–_
One Week Later
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Things really hadn't gotten much better.
Rose was gone, unsurprisingly. Not forever, but not at the house.
Jake had completely blown up, and then headed home immediately, no longer seeing a reason to have any involvement in our family at all.
Everyone else... had questions, and opinions, and judgements.
There was no undoing this though. No fixing it. Breaking up wouldn't bring peace to the family, nor was that even an option. It's not like if we said we fucked up and regretted it that Rose and Jake would just accept that. Or that the rest of the family would. Everything was irrevocably changed now.
Most of me wanted to leave. The only reason we were still here was Alice's advice to give them all time to adjust and process it, and not just drop this bomb and then be uncontactable again.
In a way she was right. Most of them had come to us one-on-one to discuss the situation in the days that follow, proving they did all have questions and wanted to get answers and understanding.
But it was still hard. Impossibly hard.
It still didn't feel like home. Like family. And a big part of me was morning that.
I didn't want to cry again.
Not in front of him, not even when I was alone.
But everything just felt… thick lately. Like I was moving through water while everyone else got to breathe air.
"Ness," Emmett murmured, looking at me from the other side of the bed we were laying on top of.
"I'm fine," I said automatically, even though it wasn't true and we both knew it.
Emmett didn't call me on it. He just brushed his knuckles over the inside of my wrist, letting his touch linger before he pulled away and stretched out across the bed. He folded his arms behind his head and watched me quietly from under his lashes.
The silence between us wasn't cold or awkward—just stretched thin. Like old elastic. Like we were both afraid that if one of us tugged the wrong way, it would snap.
I stood and padded over to the window, pulling back the edge of the curtain to glance out at the gray wash of late afternoon. The mist that rolled in off the coast always made the sky look tired. Honestly, I didn't hate it. It matched the way I felt most of the time lately.
Emmett was still watching me. I didn't have to look to know it—I could feel it.
"I think I'm gonna get in the bath," I said, my voice softer now. "I need to relax."
"Okay, baby." He nodded. "Yell if you need me."
I caught the small flicker of worry in his voice, but I didn't acknowledge it. He had enough on his plate without having to babysit me every time I got in my own head.
I grabbed the robe from the hook and headed toward the bathroom, pausing in the doorway for just a second to look back at him. He gave me a half-smile—more in his eyes than on his mouth. I returned it and closed the door gently behind me.
The ensuite was quiet in a way that made everything inside me louder.
I shut the door gently behind me and leaned back against it for a moment, letting my eyes close. Just for a second. Just to catch my breath.
It didn't help.
With stiff fingers I reached down, peeled off my socks, then unzipped my jeans and pushed them down my legs. My shirt followed next— the tank top underneath it, then the bra, all of it discarded slowly like it weighed more than it should. I stood there for a long moment in just my underwear, letting the cool air hit my skin, before I pulled those down too and dropped them into the laundry basket in the corner. I slipped on the robe, and walked to the tub to start filling it.
I turned the taps on as fast as they'd go and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet to wait. The sound of water rushing into the bath filled the room, loud and all-consuming, like a white noise that drowned out everything else.
I stared at the floor.
Not the whole tile floor—just one grout line.
Everything had somehow gotten worse. Not just uncomfortable or awkward. Worse.
When we left last year, it had felt like a betrayal. But this? This felt like obliteration.
There wasn't even enough left of the bridge to try and rebuild.
I didn't want to regret it. I didn't.
I loved Emmett.
But this life—this tension that never eased, the way the others looked at us now, or didn't—it was wearing me down.
The minutes ticked by and that same train of thought stayed persistent and brutally painful in my mind.
And then came the stupid tears. Again. Silent and heavy. I wasn't even aware of how tightly I'd curled into myself on the edge of the toilet until the audible sob finally broke free and echoed against the tiled walls.
The door opened almost immediately. Emmett didn't say anything—didn't ask, didn't hesitate. He just crossed the bathroom in three long strides and dropped to his knees in front of me.
"Aw, baby…" he murmured, brushing hair from my face. His expression was tight, and a little pained, like he could feel every crack in me.
I tried to apologize. Tried to say I was fine, that I just needed a minute—but all that came out was a watery, choked breath.
Without a word, Emmett shut off the water in the bath and then turned back to me and slid his arms around me and stood, lifting me effortlessly from the seat. He held me against his bare chest, close and firm and grounding. My arms went around his neck automatically, like muscle memory, and I buried my face into his shoulder as he carried me back to the bed.
He sat down with me still in his arms, cradling me sideways in his lap like I was something precious. His palm rubbed slow circles on my back, and the scent of him—snow, pine, something faintly sweet—wrapped around me like another blanket.
"I've got you," he whispered against my temple. "You're not alone, Ness. Not now. Not ever."
He kissed my hair gently over and over as he held me.
I knew he was right; they weren't worth the tears if they didn't care enough about me to not cause them in the first place. But it still hurt regardless.
His soft, cold fingers stroked over my cheek tenderly and helped cool the burning around my eyes from the tears.
Rosalie being angry, sure. Jake being incapable of forgiving me, understandable. What the hell did Jasper and Alice have to be mad about? What was so horrible about me not being with Jacob that my parents couldn't accept someone else?
"I'm gonna get in the bath, I need to relax." I decided and pulled back from his arms. Emmett let me go and I walked over to the bathroom stiffly. The bath was still nice and warm, a fine mist was rising off the surface as I dropped the robe and stepped in.
The water lapped around me gently as I displaced it in the deep tub, once I was completely in, it came right up to my neck. I lounged comfortably with my head on the folded wash cloth on the back edge of the tub.
The warmth reminded me of Jacob. Or rather, the way he used to be. Now he was cold, bitter and shattered from my actions. He wasn't my Jacob anymore; he wasn't even Mom's Jacob. He was just angry and spiteful. There was no warmth.
I slipped down under the water and let the heat soothe me. I stayed perfectly still, watching the surface as the ripples stopped above me. It was warm here and the water was soft. I felt light whilst hovering just under the surface.
My mind started to tell me to take another breath—that my body needed the air, but I ignored it. This feeling was better than breathing. Weightlessness. The pressure was off my shoulders. There was no sound.
Still, my body wanted me to breathe. My flowing blood demanded oxygen. So... I took a breath.
Water rushed in through my nose and burned my lungs; it was a ripping sensation like razor blades shredding my insides.
Suddenly, once my lungs were full, the pain stopped.
Then there was absolutely nothing.
Serenity.
The haze rolled into my eyes. Dark, thick clouds that blocked my vision.
The stress was finally all gone.