14th chapter

Caroline hummed to a tune that got stuck in her head. It was unpleasantly quiet the last 1,5 weeks regarding her changing. She didn't know what kind of preparations needed to be made, but inwardly she hoped, they would take longer than expected. She knew she would have to face her fate soon, but her fear would be pleased if it happened later, rather than sooner. Those last days, she held a few conversations with Heidi and Corin and it was quite relaxing to talk about something else instead. Especially Corin made her feel at ease with her current situation, though even her presence couldn't erase the nagging feeling of uncertainty completely. She pulled her cloak a little closer, as the cold wind intensified.

Caroline shivered slightly but the content smile stayed on her face as she walked over the plaza. She took in a deep breath and looked at the sky. A few clouds could be seen and the sun already started to set behind the horizon. The woman felt the slight warmth of the sun on her cheeks, but it wasn't as strong as it would have been earlier that day. She made her way through the busy streets and small alleys until she found her destination. In her break, she had looked up a few local restaurants and now she stood in front of the small but welcoming pizzeria. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

As soon as Caroline stepped inside, she was met by a mouthwatering smell that came directly from the kitchen. She looked around and saw the delicious food on the tables of the other guests. The chatter was loud, but happy overall; laughs could be heard everywhere. Soon enough, she was greeted by a young waiter, who brought her to an empty table. Once Caroline arrived there, she took off her coat and her gloves. She left her scarf on, even though the bruise was hardly visible anymore, she still didn't feel comfortable enough to show her skin there to the public. When the waiter returned with the menu, she took a closer look at him. He was younger than her, probably a student trying to make some money. She smiled at him and took the menu. Her eyes roamed the different kind of pizzas that were offered. They also had several dishes of pasta, but she didn't feel like having some that day. She ordered after a while and fiddled with her hands as she looked at the people around her.

Since she knew, she had to be turned, she felt different about other people. Caroline could observe others in silence and feel at ease, even though those people were just doing their daily business. A part of her, probably already started to get accustomed to her soon-to-be-self, while another part desperately tried to remain as human as possible. A smile formed on her lips as her eyes wandered through the crowd and she felt happy. She might sit alone, but she didn't feel lonely. She liked to observe and most importantly to listen; as it is stated in some TV series; everything you say, or not say, can be held against you. And she liked to be more on the knowing, than on the saying part.

After a few minutes, her pizza arrived and Caroline inhaled the delicious smell eagerly. She started to eat and closed her eyes at the taste; it was the best, she ever had. Another thing that changed, since she got the news, was, that she felt perfectly mundane things on a far deeper level. Eating that pizza, for instance. It was more intense, as if her body tried to gain as much human memories as possible, so she would always remember the taste of that food, she couldn't eat after her turning.

It was already dark, when Caroline strolled over the plaza again. Few other people were still walking around, but seemed to hurry to get somewhere warm. She buried her hands in the pockets of her coat, as she still felt the cold on her fingers, despite her gloves. She lifted her head and looked at the castle, looming in front of her. Due to lack of light, she didn't see to the top but the imposing presence was still a sight for sore eyes. She managed to get to the front door and breathed deeply, as she closed it behind her again. Though, she was the only human, the only one that had to sleep, in that castle; she tiptoed through the entrance hall and the door opposite of her. She closed the door with as less noise as she could manage and continued tiptoeing through the hallway. When the door to her room got in sight, she sighed relieved and smiled. She slowly started to walk normally, while still watching each step. She laid her hand on the handle and opened the door; the smile still on her face. Right as she wanted to enter her room, she got startled at the voice that came out of the dark to her right.

"Took you long enough," the male voice said and Caroline couldn't help but let out short yell in surprise. She jumped, her heart raced in her chest and her breathing intensified quickly. She didn't see anyone before and she put her hand over her beating heart. For a second, she closed her eyes to regain her posture, when the man came into view. She looked into his clearly amused red eyes, his smirk was wide and smug at her behavior. Caroline took a deep breath and turned slightly to the man. Oh, she knew just how much he enjoyed it. For a moment, she reminded herself of his dangerous ability but that didn't stop her attitude from showing. "Prying on the innocent again?" A smile formed on her lips as her heart slowly but steadily returned to its normal pace. His expression stayed, as he eyed the smaller woman. "Innocent?", he questioned in amusement and cocked an eyebrow.

Caroline stepped inside and left the door open, knowing full-well that he would follow after. She heard as the door fell shut when she put her coat and scarf in the wardrobe in her bedroom. "Don't tell me, you couldn't find me," she said with a smile when she entered the living room again, she wanted to be more careful around him, but she couldn't help it. Her eyes darted to him and she went to the dining table. Demetri stood on the other side of the table, observing her. He tilted his head lightly at her comment. For the moment, the table forcing a distance between her and the tracker, gave her a feeling of safety. "Not at all, my dear. But," he started and let his eyes wander around the room. "I thought the core of our discussion should be talked about in a more private setting." When he finished, he had his eyes on her again; his expression now more serious than before. Caroline gulped hard at his words and her face started to show her upcoming insecurity. Her eyes roamed around and she blinked nervously. She wetted her lips, before she looked back at him. "Okay," she finally said.

"Do you want to sit down?" Caroline didn't know what else she could say at that moment, but it seemed appropriate to her. She gestured at the couch, where she would feel way more comfortable than sitting stiffly at the large table. She knew what their discussion would be about and her soul definitely needed some sort of comfort. Demetri nodded slightly at her request and they both walked over. He sat down in the chair, while Caroline took her seat on the larger sofa. She felt for the woolen blanket and put it slightly over her lap and her fingers immediately started to play with the fabric in a nervous manner. She closed her eyes for a second and breathed deeply, before she looked back at the man, who had an unreadable expression in his eyes. In any other circumstance, Caroline would have asked what was wrong, but the tension in the room was too much for her at that moment.

When Demetri still didn't start to speak after a whole minute, Caroline couldn't stand the silence and her pounding heart anymore. "Is the date set, yet?" She tried to get him to talk as he sat there like a statue, not even moving his eyes from the table. It took another few seconds until some sort of life reawakened him. He let out an unneeded long sigh and he focused back on the human. "No," he said, while still being deep in thoughts. He had to inform her about her turning in general. Everyone else was already aware, that he got the honor to turn her and he wanted to tell her himself, before she heard it from someone else.

Caroline lifted an eyebrow, she waited for him to continue as it was clear to be seen, that he had something important to talk about. She blinked a few times, she tried to calm down but his silence only worsened her nervousness. After what felt like eternity, he let out another deep breath. "Usually, Aro is the one who turns a new member," he started and his eyes stayed on the table for now. "He has turned many and is able to control himself properly." She breathed heavily and tried to force her body into relaxation by pressing herself further into the soft backrest. She remained silent; she didn't want to interrupt him.

"On extremely rare occasions, a guard is granted that honor for their servitude and loyalty." Demetri's eyes travelled up to look at her. His expression was almost blank, but his mind was racing. It was easy to tell her, that he would be the one to turn her, but his thoughts went further than that. The responsibility and pressure he felt was, what kept him pacing back and forth from his actual topic. If he was honest to himself, he would probably acknowledge that he was almost as nervous as her. He remained silent for a few seconds and just looked at her slightly frightened eyes. "In your case, that honor was granted to me."

The silence that filled the large room was nerve-wracking. For a moment, Caroline even held her breath and to her, it felt as if time stood still. Her mind tried to process his words but she could just stare at the vampire. Technically, it didn't change anything about the fact, that she was to be turned, but it felt different to her. Maybe it was just the knowledge, that she finally knew who it would be; she couldn't tell. After a few minutes, Demetri broke the silence. "Are you afraid?" He eyed her closely and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "No, yes, I mean," she started and looked aimlessly at the ground in front of her. Her breath quickened at her own words and her heart hammered in her chest. "I don't know," she whispered and glanced slightly at the man. He let out another deep sigh and leant slightly forward into a more relaxed posture.

"I haven't turned someone in my entire existence, so I guess I can, at least partly, understand your fear." Demetri smiled slightly at the end, trying to lift the tension which miraculously worked. Caroline looked at him with a smile on her own. She chuckled lightly to get the stress out of her system. "I guess, I have to hope, you don't kill me then," she said and looked at him playfully.

"Don't worry about that. The masters will take precautions, in case I lose control." The slightest bit of worry hushed over his face at the thought he could disappoint his masters. Caroline realized that this topic was sensitive to him and she decided to not pry into it any further. A smug smile appeared on her face instead, it was her time to lift the tension further. "I'm your first, huh?" His eyes immediately darted to her and he mirrored her smirk with his cheeky one. "Is that really all, that you remember of what I just told you?" She chuckled lightly. "It was the most important part." Her voice was back to a playfully, challenging tone as she answered him. Both grinned at each other, but neither of them said another word. They had to get many things sorted in their heads, but both of them were undeniably glad that the strange and tense atmosphere was lifted.

They sat for at least half an hour in silence, only the slight ticking of the clock on the sideboard could be heard. Caroline lifted her gaze once more; she couldn't stop thinking about everything Heidi told her and she let out a nervous sigh. "How," she started but paused, not sure how to properly form her question. "How will it happen? That day, I mean." She looked at the man and he returned her gaze. "The masters will be present, as well as Jane and Alec. They will make sure that everything goes as planned," he answered, but his voice was low and not as strong as it used to be. Caroline frowned a little at the names, he mentioned. She heard Alec before, but Jane was new to her.

A small smile spread on Demetri's lips at his current thought. "The masters will grant you a painless change. That's why Alec will be present. Jane, on the other hand," he explained and looked over to meet her eyes. "Well, she will make sure I don't accidentally kill you." A humorless chuckle left his throat at the thought to be at the receiving end of Jane's gift. "How? What can she do?" Caroline tilted her head slightly, there was some sort of fear in his eyes, she didn't quite understand. It couldn't be just the fear of not being able to control himself, but it must have something to do with that Jane. Demetri took a deep breath and straightened his posture. "Jane can inflict pain to anyone she sees, so in case I go into a frenzy, she will stop me. To put it nicely, she will pretty much enjoy it," he muttered the last part more to himself. "You already met her, she brought you into the throne room on that day." He looked distinctively at her and she couldn't help but gulp at his stare. She knew exactly which day he meant and she let out a shivering sigh. Her right hand slowly raised to touch her throat in a near trance-like manner. Of course, she remembered that day and the petite girl that escorted her to the throne room.

Caroline couldn't focus on the fact, that they talked about the girl and not the happenings in the throne room. Her dream and the very much real events flooded her mind. Her eyes were widened in panic as she remembered, the hand on her throat scratched over her skin and her other hand clawed in her leg. It was as if she could still feel the hand around her throat, causing her to gasp for air and wince in pain. Her breath hitched and to her it felt all too real again, when suddenly she was pulled out of her thoughts. She blinked a few times, realizing she was back in her room. She lowered her hand into her lap and started to breath calmly. Caroline didn't know what helped her regain sanity, but she was grateful for it.

"I'm sorry," she said in a low voice and looked at the vampire. It was only then that she noticed the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. Totally ashamed by that, she took her sleeve and rubbed over her face aggressively. She blushed in shame and focused on the remote control on the table in front of her. She scolded herself inwardly for showing any weakness, they have already seen enough of that side of her. She needed to be strong, to be brave; she thought she was over it. She took it with pride and didn't show the panic and fear to anyone after what happened and now, she had a breakdown when one of them was present.

"We can continue our conversation another day, if you wish," Demetri offered after a while. He knew she needed time to herself, just as much as he did. If it would be up to him, they would get it over with as soon as possible, so his mind wouldn't torment him any longer with 'what if's' and 'maybe's'. Caroline glanced slightly at him; she was rather thankful for his words and nodded slightly. "That might be for the best," she answered in a low voice and looked back at the table. Her cheeks still shimmered in a light red at her own embarrassment and she needed time to think it all through. Demetri stood up from his chair, while his eyes stayed on the woman. "Good night," he said and left the room in human pace. When the door was closed behind him, Caroline murmured in a low voice "Good night.".