The first time Castiel breaks the rules, he isn't even supposed to be on Earth. He isn't supposed to leave Heaven at all. No one is. Not yet.
But he's never been one to follow rules, and after all he's heard and seen… Sam and Dean Winchester cannot die, that's a fact he's come to understand.
He knows there are plans, but he can't stand and watch said plans unfold. It just makes no sense . Why would Heaven let the demons get what they want? Why would they let Lucifer out at all?
And with that thought in mind he ends up in that forsaken town where the demons are entertaining themselves with their candidates for Lucifer's vessel. Which is yet another senseless thing. Sam Winchester is the one and only perfect vessel for Lucifer.
He watches the last moments unfold, he's much too late, innocents have died, but sneaking out of Heaven had been a whole lot more difficult than anticipated. Much too difficult.
Yet, he arrives just in time to speed through the ethereal plane and glitch into the world, right between Sam Winchester and Jake Talley, catching the man's wrist easily and snapping the bone, forcing this one to drop the knife and take several steps back, putting distance between him and the youngest Winchester who stumbles back in surprise, Jake's pained shout echoing through the air.
"I'm afraid I cannot allow that." He drawls out, Jake Talley drops on his knees, groaning and grunting in pain. Breath shuddering as he tries and fails to break his arm free.
But while he might be strong, he's no match for an angel.
"What the hell are you?" He asks through gritted teeth, a hint of fear in his voice. Castiel ignores him as he reaches out, pressing his hand against Jake's face.
"Forget." He whispers, and just like that, Jake Talley collapses bonelessly on the ground. He might not be able to take his abilities away.
But he can make him forget all about Azazel, demons and all in between. Even what happened in this town . He can hide him from demons and angels alike.
What he did is unchangeable. But Castiel won't kill a human, he won't make judgement upon him. It's not his place.
He hears a gun click and he turns his head, just enough to glance over his shoulder. Dean Winchester and Bobby Singer are pointing at him with guns, Sam Winchester is safe, bloody, but safe.
"The hell are you?" Dean Winchester demands, he seems tense, Castiel doesn't answer.
He doesn't need to stay here any longer.
And with that last thought, he disappeared.
The last thing he heard was a string of profanities being thrown at him by the oldest Winchester.
That's to be Michael's vessel?
~
Trench coat dude, as dubbed by Dean. Kept appearing after that incident where Sam almost got killed. He kept saving their ass over and over and over again. Never hanging around long enough to chat. He never introduces himself either, never speaks at all.
He leaves as quick as he appears.
His presence alone is enough to send Dean up the walls. Because no one just saves someone, not without a good reason. Even less obviously a non-human thing. Non-human things didn't just save hunters for shits and giggles. And if they did, it would certainly not be them.
Then the fucking angels appear, Uriel who seems to have a stick so far up his ass Dean is amazed the angel doesn't have a tree growing out of his mouth. There's also Zachariah who just loves messing with Dean's mind and throwing him in the weirdest situations, hallucinations, alternate lives, time travel. He fucking hates that guy.
Sam and Dean are quick to develop a burning hatred for the feathered pricks. Odd enough, the Trench coat dude's appearances lessen, though he keeps saving their asses, he never appears when the angels are involved directly.
Though he did tell Dean how to make Lilith leave Sam. Had refused to help but did tell him to get Chuck in the room since had an archangel tied to him.
And he also did appear when the brothers found out about Gabriel, the archangel had taken the trenchcoat dude with him after the trenchcoat dude failed to save them twice, which Dean had demanded to have back, they might not know who he was but it just felt wrong to let an archangel have him when he had most likely just wanted to help them.
Gabriel had been quite against giving him back for some weird reason though.
He had given him back, and as bewildered as the trenchcoat dude had been, he had disappeared within seconds which had elicited a bizarre fit of laughter from Gabriel.
Their stranger kept saving them after that, appearing and disappearing whenever he pleases without a single word. Saving them from all kinds of monsters, tricks and whatnot.
With time, the brothers hate to admit that he sort of grows on them. Even if the mistrust is still there. Deep and unwavering. Even more so after he failed to appear in Carthage, his help would have been certainly appreciated.
Because whatever he was, it was clear he was powerful. But he didn't appear, not until Death had been released and killing Lucifer went wrong, he had snatched them both when the devil wasn't looking and had left them at Bobby's.
Meanwhile, Castiel wished he could tell the Winchesters who he is, nothing is stopping him now, after he saved Sam in that forsaken town he had sealed his fate. He had been cut off from Heaven.
But it's too late now, for the brothers had made up their minds about angels, he knows he won't be trusted, well, even less than now. Plus, it's not like they need to know who he is. His job is to protect those who protect others, those who will stop Lucifer and Michael from destroying all life on Earth in their squabble.
Someone needs to protect them, and he is more than happy to be that someone. He tries to not interfere when his siblings are involved, afraid of being exposed, or worse, he had taken to be extremely careful after having been stripped from his vessel and almost taken to Heaven once already.
Or his encounter with Lucifer in Carthage.
He was just lucky Gabriel hadn't said anything. Probably found it amusing that the Winchesters didn't know who or what he was.
But he messed up, he ended up interfering in a situation involving his siblings, but if he didn't Sam and Dean would have paid the price.
And at the end, things did work out. For everyone but him that was. Jumping into the past with both brothers had left him weak, had barely made it back at all. And in a moment of weakness, he had ended up teleporting where he felt the brothers' souls.
Had been admittedly surprised that he made it there at all.
Then darkness engulfed him.
~
Sam and Dean never expected to end up staring at the Trench coat dude for longer than a minute.
He had appeared out of nowhere and had proceeded to pass out, prompting them both to dump him on the bed. It was weird to look at him, he had never been one to hang around or even speak. He appeared and disappeared whenever he pleased without a word.
Now looking at him... He didn't seem particularly dangerous.
"Alright." Dean exclaims, breaking the silence as he walks over to his duffel bag.
"What are you doing?" Sam asks as he catches Dean pulling out a knife from the bag, he couldn't certainly be thinking about killing the guy, right?
"What does it look like? This is our chance to see once and for all what the hell is the guy."
Sam gave him a bitch face, which Dean ignored masterfully. He quickly grabbed his weapons, walking back to the trenchcoat guy. He tested all his knives, silver, iron, gold, but his skin didn't react to any.
He then tried with salt, holy water and even spit a 'Christo' for good measure, nothing .
He stares at him for a bit longer… he wonders… he grabbed the stranger's hand, pulling the sleeve back and revealing his arm, nothing.
"What are you doing?" Sam asks, confused, yet Dean ignores him, tugging at the other sleeve.
"Son of a bitch." Dean breathes out as the other arm comes into view, there's something he's come to find familiar among his kind, a mark across their arm, same arm they used to wield the blade. Which always appeared out of thin air.
Angel blade.
"Dean?"
"He's an angel." Dean spits out in disgust, pulling his hand back and stepping back, glaring down at the unconscious angel. And how did it take him so long to figure out? The signs had been there, remove the trenchcoat and he dressed just like the rest of feathered dicks.
There was also the teleportation, the inhuman strength, the bulletproof thing, and Gabriel had known, hell, he could travel through time, Dean hasn't met anything else that could travel through time except for angels. The bastard… he might have known the Colt wouldn't work. And that…
It sent fire through his veins. This son of-
"Dean, breathe." Sam's concerned voice cut through his head.
" Breathe? The son of a bitch is a fucking angel! All along he could have helped us, he could have saved Ellen and Jo! Heal Bobby! Or stopped you from killing Lilith, hell, he could have told us about Lilith. But he didn't, he didn't do shit, he just stood back and let it all happen just like every other fucking dick with wings!"
"You don't know that. He could have had a reason, he's been helping us for a long time, doesn't he deserve the benefit of the doubt?" Sam asks, because while he understands Dean's anger and also feels somewhat on edge, this was the same man, angel, that has been helping them since before angels even made themselves known.
He even brought them to the past even after he insisted that doing so with passengers wouldn't go over well. The guy wouldn't have gone so far for them if he had ulterior motives. It might also be his own wishful thinking, wanting to hold on to the idea of an angel actually being on their side.
Angels had brought nothing but misfortune to them, but this one… he had saved them and protected them more times than he could count. Sure, he never hung around much nor told them his name, but Sam would dare and call him a sort of friend.
He wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Meanwhile, Dean glowered, glaring at the angel. He hated to admit it, but Sam might have a point.
Yet, he wouldn't face this unprepared, he grabbed a knife, cutting through his palm before starting to draw a banishing sigil on the wall, if worse came to worst, he could always banish the bastard.
~
Castiel woke up to a pounding headache and his grace curling, his wings were aching and his limbs felt heavier than usual, even though this was his perfect vessel, he's never managed to feel 100% comfortable in it. Making him restrain his moves and making it difficult to even fight with the freedom he would outside a vessel.
He groaned as he tried to sit up, on a strangely soft surface. Last he remembers… Sam and Dean. He blinked the blurriness out of his vision as he sat up, head dropping on his hand as he forced himself to swallow past the sudden bout of nausea. His head was pounding and that really couldn't be a good sign. His grace had certainly been in worse condition than he had first thought.
"Look who's awake." Dean's sudden voice startled him, he hadn't felt anyone at all. Yet, as he turned to look at the source of the voice, he stiffened. For he was standing next to a banishing sigil. Sam on the other side.
"Please don't. I mean you no harm." He said, he had no idea how they figured it out, but he really didn't want to be banished, he didn't think he would be able to come out unscathed out of it as he is right now. Or alive for that matter.
"So I was right. Say, what the hell are you playing at?"
Castiel frowned in confusion.
"What he means is why have you been helping us? What could you possibly win from all of this? And why, if you are an angel, did you not turn up in Carthage much sooner? You knew we had the Colt, why didn't you tell us it wouldn't work?" Sam asks, trying to keep his voice steady, because he really wants to believe there might have been a reason.
Castiel frowns, oh, so that's what had them so on edge, they thought he had ulterior motives or that he had been manipulating them as his siblings have been trying to do or had done at first.
"I didn't know the Colt wouldn't work, and… I couldn't help sooner because Lucifer trapped me in a ring of holy fire, it wasn't until later that I managed to use a demon as a bridge to escape it. I'm sorry about your friends, I would have helped them if I had been able to."
Because they had been good.
"I don't win anything from helping you. I just wanted to help you because you were the only ones who could stop Lucifer and Michael."
For a moment, there was silence, and then.
"I don't buy it, why would Lucifer trap you? Why not just kill you? And why would you want to stop Lucifer and Michael? I thought that's what you lot wanted." Dean states, not buying it for second, something didn't make sense here.
He knew he was right when the angel dropped his gaze.
"He wanted me to join him, and even though I refused, he thought that if given time, I would agree."
"Why would he think that?"
Castiel clenched his jaw, he would do all he's done over again, but remembering Lucifer's words still stung.
"He said that we were alike, and that if he was killed, I would become Heaven's next number one public enemy." He didn't look up when he heard a gun click. He knows what he will find. "When I saved Sam the first time, I broke the rules, he was meant to die, his death would have kickstarted a series of events that would have led to many unnecessary things. Heaven was not happy about that, and they haven't been happy about me interfering with their plans ever since."
The silence that engulfed the room this time was thick.
Meanwhile, Sam and Dean frowned, what he just said…
"When he said you were alike, he meant you both rebelled and were casted out." Sam's eerily similar words to Lucifer's made Castiel look up, how…? Yet, he nodded.
"Humans might be flawed, there might be evil… but they are also kind and good. The more I watch them, the more sure I become that I made the right choice. They don't deserve to die in some sort of prize fight. Yes, I don't win anything from this, but I don't need to. When humans were created, our mission became to protect them. I won't apologize to any of my siblings for doing what they have forgotten."
Sam and Dean stared at him.
And stared.
He was staring right back at them, not an ounce of deception in his gaze, just plain honesty. And suddenly they were both hit with the overwhelmingly heavy realization that he was saying the truth. And that…
What do you even say to that? He was basically saying he rebelled for them. An angel chose them over Heaven. And suddenly, it felt incredibly wrong to keep pointing at him with a gun. Not that the angel seemed remotely bothered by it. And why would he? Guns did nothing against them.
"Castiel."
"What?"
"My name. It's Castiel."
Oh.
Wait, hadn't that been the same name Zachariah mentioned once? Castiel is in no condition to help you or anyone this time around. That's what he had said.
"Did Zachariah do something to you?" The angel frowned, confusion edged on his face.
"What do you mean?"
"Before Lucifer was freed, Zachariah said something about you being in no condition to help anyone. I wasn't sure what he was talking about at the time…"
Realization seemed to dawn on the angel.
"Oh… that's… I found out about Lilith being the last seal, I wanted to tell you, but they found me first, they yanked me out of my vessel and tried to take me back to Heaven. I escaped but… getting back to my vessel took too long, they were keeping a close eye on him. Certain things led to my vessel managing to escape their sight and I eventually got him back, but by the time I did…"
It was too late.
"I'm sorry..."
"That's… it's alright. It wasn't your fault." Sam couldn't exactly blame him for something he had no control over. He had tried to warn them. That was good enough for him. He glanced at Dean who scoffed yet seemed to silently agree with Sam.
"Say… if you are an angel, why haven't you healed Bobby? I mean, we have woken up before completely healed, I never really paid mind to it. But that was you, right? Why not do the same to Bobby?" Dean questions, ignoring Sam's judgemental look as he steps away from the banishing sigil, choosing to sit down at the edge of the bed across from Castiel's.
The angel's gaze drops.
"... I cannot heal him…"
"Why?" Sam asks before Dean can ask in a less kinder way. Castiel doesn't seem particularly happy about the question, so Sam guesses there might be a good reason behind.
"... I have been cut off from Heaven. My grace isn't as strong as it used to be, I can't heal him or anyone else." He could barely heal himself as it was. "I'm sorry."
"Why? It's not your fault." Dean states, sure, he isn't that crazy about the fact that they have an angel and can't even have him heal Bobby. But he wasn't about to blame him for something he had nothing to do with.
Yet, all Castiel did was keep sulking. Dean sighed, standing up and clapping the angel's back, getting a priceless look in return.
"Come on dude, look alive." Confusion is all he got, and Dean never thought he would live long enough to see an angel make something more than a constipated or murderous expression.
Yeah, he guesses it would be entertaining to keep him around.
~
"Isn't he an angel?" Dean's teasing phrase made Sam glance at the backseat where Cas was, once again sleeping. He hadn't seemed that well, so Dean had offered him to come with them back to Bobby's. Sam couldn't wait to see Bobby's face.
The angel had ended up passing out not long after leaving the motel. He had said that he had been cut off from Heaven, whatever that meant. But Sam gathered that he wasn't in good condition, and that that trip to the past with them had left him in even worse shape.
It worried him, he wondered if he would get better. Sam hoped he did. What a sick joke would be for them to end up killing the one angel who had chosen to side with them.
Yet, he had to admit it was exciting to know that their stranger in the trench coat had been an angel all along. Chose to save Sam. And that… it made his chest hurt, warmth spreading through. All he's ever heard from angels was disdain and disgust. Insults. The boy with the demon blood. Abomination. Freak. Monster. Lucifer's vessel.
But Castiel had saved him. That night in South Dakota he could have let him die as Heaven intended, but he didn't. He chose to save him. And for the first time in a long time, Sam felt like he could be saved. Like he might not be as damned as he had first thought.
~
"Have you two gone insane?" Bobby exclaims, looking at Sam and Dean, hoping for either of them to crack a joke and take back what they just said.
But neither does. And the two idiots had seriously brought an angel back here. Angel which he could see standing next to the Impala, his gaze wandering around the graveyard, the angel didn't seem particularly dangerous per se, but something about his body language and eyes felt heavy, inhuman, wrong. And it made every hunter instinct inside him reel.
"He's on our side." Sam says, he doesn't elaborate, but his eyes are enough to cut any negative comment Bobby might have had. He glanced at Dean, much like Sam, he seemed sure of this.
Bobby looked back at the angel, Castiel, who had moved from standing next to the impala to crouching on the ground next to an old car, eyes fixated on a stray cat under the car, the cat stared back, didn't so much as retreat as the angel reached out, dare he say, hesitant. His hand didn't touch the cat, but it did hover over its head, the cat itself moved, stretching and pressing its head against the angel's hand. And the fucking angel lit up like a child at Christmas.
"What about the poor bastard he's wearing?" Bobby questions, and Sam and Dean's reactions told him they had seemingly forgotten angels also possessed people. Which is ironic considering the mess they both are in.
"He is safe." Castiel's voice made the three hunters turn to look at him, the angel was staring back at them, holding the small cat against his chest. At their looks he elaborated. "I can hear you from here." He states. And great, because of course angels have super hearing.
"You say he's safe, doesn't change the fact that you are possessing him. How long has it been? Two? Three years? What about his family? His life?" Castiel looks away, placing the cat back on the floor before standing up, eyes meeting Bobby's, of all emotions expected, guilt was certainly not what any of them expected from him.
"His name is Jimmy Novak. I knew what would happen once I did what I intended to do, and I told him as such. There was no guarantee he would be able to have a normal life. He still agreed."
Castiel didn't mention that Jimmy only agreed because he threatened to take Claire. But he had been running out of time and Sam Winchester's life was at risk. He had had no time to waste.
"When I was yanked out and he was left behind, he went back to his family, but even though angels were keeping an eye on him… a demon possessed his wife and took their daughter away. They were convinced he had information, which he didn't."
Castiel always kept him asleep and away from everything. He didn't deserve to see any of the horrors Castiel had seen or done.
"He ended up getting shot and almost killed. I possessed his daughter and killed the demons. They are safe and away now. Hidden from demons and angels alike. He spoke to them… they are safer without him around. Once a week, his daughter prays to me, I go to her and grant him the control of his body, he gets to do anything he wants for a whole day."
He frowned at the hunters' looks.
"And his family is just fine with that?"
"I'm not sure, I usually stay away from the surface whenever he's with his family. But I would say they have come to terms with it."
Amelia didn't look at him with as much hatred as she used to. And Claire… she didn't seem to hate him, and she prayed to him at random times a day to tell him what she was doing or if she was bored. He didn't quite understand why she did that, but he found it relaxing. To know she was safe.
Meanwhile, the hunters stared at the angel. If the man, Jimmy had agreed to this knowing the outcome and his family and him had come to some sort of arrangement… well… they guessed there was nothing to do about that then? And Castiel said he gave Jimmy his body back for a full day once a week? Just like that? It was weird to imagine.
I mean, none of them had even considered the idea that someone possessed by an angel could take the body back like those possessed by demons.
And if that was possible… it opened many possibilities they hadn't thought of before.