In Between Vacancy
Standing at a distance, Sam squints his eyes as he watches Natasha stroll around the makeshift tent they made for the children of Taloá. The sun is up in the sky, and the heat is nearly uncomfortable. His clothes aren't helping, even if he is wearing a loose linen shirt, similar to what the men in the community wear. He needs to blend in, and if these people aren't really that bothered by the heat, then he just needs to bear with it.
"Sasha," Sam called using her alias, putting in a little Fula accent in his tone.
The blonde-haired woman looked up and subtly nodded her head at him in acknowledgment. She then looked back at the child in front of her and smiled.
"Salima," Natasha caresses the hair of the child as she asked her in French, "Pourquoi ne vas-tu pas à l'intérieur et ne dessines-tu pas?" (Salima, why don't you head inside and draw a picture for me?)
"Oui, professeur!" (Yes, teacher!) the little girl answers with a beaming smile before running off inside the tent.
Soon enough, Natasha walks up to Sam and raises a brow, "Que puis-je faire pour vous?" (What can I do for you?)
Sam immediately frowns at the woman, "Seriously?"
Natasha smirked at the deadpan look of the man, "What do you have for me?" she asked.
"Another man is missing again." Sam then looked around to see if anyone was loitering to take notice that he was talking to a supposedly foreign volunteer. "Janaia, the mother of that kid, came up to the chief this morning and mentioned that her husband had gone missing since yesterday. Her husband didn't come home after working in the field, and he's not at the field either."
Natasha peeked over her shoulder and saw the young girl engrossed in her task of drawing. She looked back at Sam and asked, "What's the plan?"
"Well, that's the thing…" Sam plants his hands on his hips as he leans on one leg, "Steve is at the field to stake out and see if anyone from the Ten Rings is dallying around. If he finds one, you know what that man would do,"
Natasha rolls her eyes, completely understanding Sam's point. Steve opted to work alone sometimes, even if they were just a small group of fugitives trying to hunt down terrorist organizations. Sometimes, she wonders if Steve forgets that he still has a team with him and that he isn't on a solo mission.
She sighs in defeat as she crosses her arms.
It's the middle of the day, and most people are at their homes, resting for a bit before they begin to work again in the afternoon. Following Steve in the field would just raise suspicions from the community. They needed a contingency plan if he decided to disappear and track the Ten Rings on his own.
It has been more than two weeks since they arrived at Taloá. They got intel that a smaller group of the Ten Rings had been hiding here, terrorizing the village to make them work for them and mine for bauxite and iron ore to be able to make indestructible energy-powered weapons. It was said that they were selling them to HYDRA and another uprising organization.
Ever since they got here, pretending to be volunteers and a new resident in the village, they haven't gotten far with finding that group. It seemed like the Ten Rings didn't regularly come to the village to monitor. They were more like ghosts that haunted the town and snatched people randomly. This left families surprised and scared about what they should do to find their missing family member. More than ten people had been missing since they arrived. And based on Sam's gathering of information, it has increased rapidly over the past three months.
"We need to find a way to get close to the areas where most people are getting taken." Sam then pulls out a slip of paper from his pocket and hands it to Natasha.
"Most of them are men," Natasha said as she read the list of names that had been missing.
"It's not just men," Sam corrects, "Many of them are children too."
Natasha looked up and suddenly glared at Sam. He winced at the news he broke. But Natasha knew better. She let out a deep breath as she tried to hold down the urge to twist someone's neck and break it.
"In an hour, women from the village are going to be heading back to the river. Their children would be left here with me to watch over. I'm sure Ten Rings has heard by now that a foreign volunteer is working alone to babysit. They would be tempted to snatch at least one kid. I'll switch places with the kid and let myself be brought in. When that happens, call Steve."
Sam nods in agreement before he turns and heads back to the center of the village. As for Natasha, she went inside the tent and sat next to Salima.
She didn't really like using children for bait. She promised herself she wouldn't sacrifice another child for missions like this. But it was the only way to lure the monster out. She just needs to make sure that no child will ever get hurt under her watch.
Under the afternoon scorching sun, Guineans plowed the field before they planted new crops. Posing as a foreign volunteer, Steve helped the men at work while he casually chatted with them.
Sam saw him easily but didn't call him immediately. He could see the blonde-haired man rapidly chatting with the men around him in French as if it were his first language.
"I really should learn to speak French," Sam muttered to himself before he walked towards the shade of the sole tree in the field and leaned on it.
When Steve turned to look around and caught his eyes, Sam made a quick tilt of his head to the side as a sign that they needed to talk.
Steve then looks back at the men around him. "Il fait très chaud. Je vais nous chercher de l'eau." (It's very hot. I'll get us all some water.) he said, grinning at them.
When they all agreed, he made a jog toward the shade, where a large gallon water dispenser sat on a small table.
"What's the status?" Steve whispered to Sam as he casually went on with his task of filling five glasses of water.
"Nat will be watching over the children." Sam then saw the concerned look on the blonde's face and quickly shook his head. "Some of the children had been targeted by them as well. She'll make a close look. There's a high chance that they will be taking a child this time if Imran was taken yesterday."
"Then I should get there—"
"Nat can handle it," Sam countered, then to distract the blonde from running over to the tents, he tilted the gallon bottle to help Steve fill a glass of water, "She'll exchange places with the kid and get brought in. When it does happen, we'll track her."
"It seems like you guys made plans on your own," Steve huffs a laugh as he replaces another glass in his hand.
"Well, we had to make one because you seemed to make a solo mission, too," Sam said, shrugging.
Steve looked up, "I'm sorry, man. I just—"
"No worries, Rogers," Sam then clasps a hand on his shoulder, "Just don't forget, we got your back too, as you got ours."
Steve gave a tight-lipped smile before he nodded his head, "Got that."
"Can you bring all of these glasses on your own?" Sam questioned, looking down at the filled cups.
Steve looked down where Sam pointed and then scratched his head, "I probably should ask for help," both chuckled before Sam turned towards the men at work and greeted them loudly.
Natasha stumbles as she gets pulled by a man with a turban over his head, covering half of his face. She couldn't ID them as they were deliberately making sure that their faces were covered, but ironically, their ten rings tattoo was well displayed on their forearms.
Natasha wanted to laugh out loud at their idiocy, but as someone who was pretending to be someone other than an assassin, she needed to keep quiet and pretend to be scared.
"Où m'emmènes-tu?" (Where are you taking me?) She asked nervously as she looked around the forest that was just on the outskirts of the town. "Où sommes-nous?" (Where are we?)
"Shut up!" The man shouted in Fula dialect, tugging her roughly by the arm, "Oy! Get this woman to Hamza! He likes white people!"
Natasha nearly rolled her eyes in disgust and annoyance. But decided to maintain her cover and waited for another man to step out of the large trees. He was wearing a turban too but forgot to pull up the cloth to hide his face. That gave Natasha a way to ID them and capture their features through her contact lenses.
She blinked her eyes twice, rapidly, sending those images to her computer back at the tent. That way, they will be able to track surveillance that shows their faces.
"Oh!" The man cooed, grinning menacingly as he walked up to them, "Can I taste her as well?"
"Sure, if you want to get killed by Hamza," the man next to her said before he pulled the cloth covering his face. "You know that man doesn't like sharing." He then turned to Natasha and grinned at her dangerously.
She quickly blinked her eyes twice before she asked worriedly, "De quoi parles-tu?" (What are you talking about?) She then looked around at the approaching men, coming out of their hiding places, "Je ne comprends pas ce que tu dis." (I can't understand what you're saying.)
They all just laughed at her, and Natasha took that as a chance to rapidly blink her eyes at their exposed faces, pretending to be stunned at their laughter.
"Let's get her inside," The man next to her said before he pushed her towards the waiting scoundrels.
As soon as the chief reported to Steve that his co-volunteer was missing when a commotion happened close by the recreation campsite, he and Sam knew that Natasha had begun their plan.
The two immediately headed back to the tent and bent their head down a little as they entered it. The tent was somewhat arranged like a classroom, with a few of their things gathered in the corner. They quickly searched for Natasha's computer.
When Steve had untied the drapes of the tent, it gave them a little privacy to search the place without anyone questioning. Soon enough, Sam pulled out a thick laptop and instantly went to work.
"They are probably not that far off," Sam suggested as his fingers moved across the keys. Later, a GPS map pops up, and a blinking red dot appears, slowly moving toward the northwest.
"They're heading towards the forest, close to the bauxite mining site from our intel."
"I don't get it," Sam shook his head in confusion, "We've been there and checked it twice. We found nothing."
"Probably because we were looking for something that was on the surface when it should be underneath." Steve then grabbed a backpack from behind Sam and rampaged through the items inside.
"But the mountains are far off from the forest," Sam uttered bafflingly, with his face telling how confounded he was at the idea, "How the hell do we find their hideout underground?"
"We look for caves, or any rock formation that is large enough to be bulldozed a hole and create a tunnel towards the mountains," Steve then slumps the GPS tracker that showed Natasha's location. "It's the only possible way."
Sam shook his head, standing up, "Why did I expect these people to care about nature? Unbelievable."
Steve chortles, "Let's go."
Crouching down to the nearest stack of crates, Steve slowly peeked to the side to see how many of the ten ring members were handling the door where Natasha was suspected to be held. His eyes dashed from left to right quickly before pulling back and slightly turning to Sam.
"There's seven by the door, and most likely, there's more inside."
Sam nods, "Nat can hold to her end."
"Yeah," Steve then peeked again and tried to find any object he could grab to use as a weapon, "If only I had my shield with me," he muttered to himself.
"What? Too tiring to punch your way in?" Sam teased, earning a grunt from the blonde.
"Well, it would have been quicker if I had it," Steve admits, shrugging, and then he spots a metal plate hidden by another stack of crates.
Soon enough, Steve stealthily rolled on the rough ground to the other side without a sound. As he crouched back to his previous position, he stilled himself and waited for any reaction from the ten rings. But the men were preoccupied with their nonsensical topic about what they wanted to do after getting their share. When he was sure that they remained distracted, Steve reached out to the metal plate he saw and pulled it off the stone wall with ease. But to his momentary lapses, he yanked the metal and clanged it on the crate.
"Shut up, what's that?" one of the members exclaimed, shutting the other men from talking.
Steve scrunches his face in annoyance at his mistake. Sam just stared at him, bewildered, as if telepathically telling him not to move or even breathe.
"That's just your stupid mouth, idiot," another man said, and then they started laughing.
Sighing in relief, Steve positioned himself better behind the crates once more. Looking at each other for a brief second to briskly nod, they knew it was time to leap into action. And then, in the next blurred seconds, the ten rings were stunned by Steve and Sam's ambush.
On the other side of the metal door, Natasha lifts her head at the sound of commotion happening. Sighing exasperatedly, she sat up straighter in her chair and said, "Cela leur a pris assez de temp." (Took them long enough.)
"Quoi?!" (What?!) a man shouted and then stood before her, pointing his rifle at her.
Natasha just grinned at him before she swept her left leg and right leg successively, knocking the rifle out of the man's grasp and then knocking him out in the head by sweeping her legs in reverse.
Soon enough, the other three men inside the room got distracted from their worry about the commotion outside when they heard a crashing sound. Without anticipating it, they saw Natasha rushing towards them and then whipping around at the last second, hitting two of them with the chair she was tied to.
While they grunted in pain, Natasha took advantage to slam the chair backward at the third man, trapping him while the others wept on the floor. She immediately kicked one of them in the jaw, knocking him out instantly.
Quickly after that, Natasha pulled back to stand up straight, allowing the third man to step closer to her and attempt to grab her hair. But before he could do that, Natasha whipped her head backward so hard, hitting him right on the face, and crumpled down, holding his broken nose.
When the other weeping man on the floor finally stood up, Natasha looked at him and did a quick spinning kick, hitting him on the thighs to make him kneel. Before he knows it, the chair hits him on the other side of his face, allowing Natasha to drop-roll on the ground and successfully destroy the chair with the impact.
As Natasha stood up with loose rope on her wrists, she made a scan of the room and saw four men moaning in pain, not able to stand up again. Soon enough, the metal door creaked open, and Sam immediately poked his head in.
"You good?" He asked casually.
"Yeah," she replied, shrugging her shoulders before shaking off the wooden debris on her arm. Then, she walked up to Sam, "What took you two so long?"
"Don't blame me," Sam replies, chuckling as he steps back from the door, "Blame Steve."
As the trio was able to go further inside the underground hideout without alerting the whole gang, they soon found what they had been informed about. Tons of crate boxes were stuffed with different types of weapons created from Guinea's high-grade iron ore and aluminum. However, as they scanned each weapon, Steve noticed something different.
"These aren't just ordinary guns," Steve places the Glock back in the crate, "They are energy-powered."
"How'd you know?" Sam questioned, eyeing each gun before him, "They all seem like typical handguns to me."
"I can feel a faint vibration," Steve then looked at Natasha, "It's almost the same as your bites when switched on, but its vibration is more subtle. The only difference is that these don't seem to have a switch."
Natasha nodded her head in understanding before she took one and gently ran her fingers across the gun. She then felt it faintly before putting it back.
"These things are way too dangerous. Whoever they are selling these weapons to should not get their hands on these," Natasha said, looking back at Steve and Sam.
The three of them suddenly stiffened and abruptly grabbed a gun to point it toward Natasha's back. The woman smoothly whipped around and pointed two handguns at the sudden group of Ten Rings.
"Well then, it's a good thing that we are keeping them for now," a heavily bearded man said in English, standing before them, with more than ten members of the ten rings, pointing a laser-type gun at them, "You know, to double up the price."
"If you don't mind indulging me, Hamza," Natasha then grinned, blinking her eyes twice, capturing the whole face of the man. The man growled in annoyance that his identity was discovered, "Who's your buyer? We might outbid them,"
"Does it really matter?" He questioned back, scowling.
"Is it HYDRA?" Steve asked, slowly walking and stopping right next to Natasha, when the Ten Rings were alarmed at his movement. They took a step closer, threatening them with their laser guns. "Or someone new?"
Hamza scoffed mockingly before he laughed, "HYDRA? Those traitors are not to be trusted."
"Not surprising," Sam remarked as he subtly slid next to Steve.
"Then who's the new one?" Natasha impatiently questioned.
"None of your business," Hamza said, heavily accented like he was mocking her before he started grinning.
Natasha gave an unimpressed look before she, without hesitation, pulled the trigger of the gun she was holding and blasted the energy towards two of the members. Soon enough, everything broke loose.
Natasha quickly rolled to the floor and remained crouched down, shooting two more people on their shoulders while Sam tackled the closest group of men in front of him. Steve quickly bent sideways as a laser beam shot at him. But then he swiftly moved forward, bent low in front of the man, and grabbed his arm holding the laser. At that lock, he quickly stood up and redirected the laser to the other Ten Rings member. The man behind Steve started pulling the trigger, blasting the energy to the other members without realizing it. He tried to pull his arm from Steve's grip, but Steve had had enough and broke his arm instead before elbowing him in the face.
As the trio fought two members at a time, Hamza cowardly hid behind the crates to get away from being blasted. He knew more of the contents of the crates and searched for a particular box. When he spotted it, he ran towards it and quickly opened the box. He laughed in excitement as he stared at the bazooka-typed launcher. Similar to what they have been making, it was an energy-powered weapon as well, rather than a rocket launcher.
Hamza grabbed one and switched the clip on, emitting the rhythmic vibration. When the rim of the bazooka lit up, indicating that it was ready to be launched, Hamza turned around and quickly pointed it in the direction of Natasha and Sam.
Steve immediately heard the rhythmic vibration and quickly turned around to the source of the sound. At that, he saw Hamza take a knee and place the bazooka on his shoulder, directing the launch towards Natasha and Sam.
Steve instantly figured out what would happen next. So, without hesitation, he sprinted and intercepted the blast as he shouted, "Get down!"
Completely startled at Steve's shouting, Natasha and Sam were left bewildered as they stared at Steve's flying body hitting the wall. At that instant, Natasha redirected her gun toward Hamza and shot him straight in the neck.
Steve can't feel his limbs. It felt heavy, and his chest felt like it was burning. He can hear himself groaning, but he knows his mouth isn't moving. Everything was black around him. He was probably slowly snapping out of his unconsciousness because he needed to get back to…
What was he doing moments ago?
"Steve?" a soft, distant, familiar voice called him, snapping him out of his thoughts.
He could feel his head turning side to side as if searching for the sound.
"Steve, wake up," the same voice instructed him, sounding closer as if it was approaching him.
"Captain Rogers, wake up!" the voice commanded sternly, and soon Steve felt his eyes slowly crack open.
It was blurry, and he was having double vision. But he slowly recognized the blurry blue sky before him, and then suddenly, a face resurfaced, towering over him.
"This isn't the right time and place to slumber, my darling," the woman said to him chidingly, but her smile told him something else: amusement.
Steve stared in awe at the woman before him. He felt his heart constrict at the familiar endearment he heard.
"Peggy?" Steve hoarsely muttered.
Her smile softened at the call of her name. She gently cupped his cheek, "Who else would it be? Come on, get up," and then she pulled back as if to stand.
"Peggy, wait," he groaned, trying to move.
Steve wanted to reach out and hold or touch her at least, but his whole body was still too heavy for him to move. He tried to lift his hand again, but it barely budged. And then, he made the mistake of blinking rapidly. Soon enough, the blue sky disappeared and was replaced by a stony ceiling. He blinked once more in confusion and then saw Natasha's face next.
"Rogers?" She called, staring at him while her brows furrowed, "Are you alright?"
"Where's—?" His question fell dead as he held his breath, feeling that prick in his chest at the realization. He was just imagining Peggy.
Having no words to explain what he was really feeling, he just let out a grueling moan of pain as he twisted himself to stand.
"Cloaking mode…" Natasha presses a button above her, "On."
Sam huffed heavily as he maneuvered the handles of the quinjet for a minute before he looked over his shoulder to check up on Steve.
The man remained silent, sitting on the back, seeming lost in thought.
"He's fine," Natasha breaks through his thoughts. He then looked at her, "He'll be fine," she corrected, shrugging her shoulders.
"Yeah," Sam says, trying to believe himself but knowing otherwise, "I guess…"
"Okay, look, I understand that he seemed not to think through what he did," Natasha said as she fumbled with a few buttons that required attention before looking back at Sam, "But it's Rogers we're talking about. He'll do those things without a second thought. It has nothing to do with the upcoming date,"
"And you believe that?" Sam questioned dubiously at the blonde woman, "Because the last time I checked, he was sacrificial when he lost someone. It happened more than once already,"
Natasha looked at Sam wearily, uncertain, as if questioning if it was worth the argument. Sighing in defeat, she looked over her shoulder as well and studied Steve for a minute before looking back at him.
"He called me Peggy," Natasha suddenly stated, surprising the man, "So, maybe you are into something."
"He called you—" Sam lost his words in perplexity before glancing at the big guy again. He then whispered, "What did he say exactly?"
Natasha shrugged, "He just said, 'Peggy, wait,' and then looked at me like he was disappointed and hurt."
"Huh…"
"Probably just his imagination caused by his concussion," Natasha's jaw stiffens, trying to convince herself as well, "We'll get him checked."
"There's no need," Steve suddenly answered, making them look back at him with confusion, "I'm fine. But I do need a bath. I smell like a burnt calfskin,"
Sam and Natasha scrunch their faces in disgust.
"Man, you didn't have to describe it." Sam then let out a huff of laughter when he saw Steve blush a little, "But yeah, you really do need to take a bath."
Natasha lets out a chuckle as well, even if she knew there was something more to worry about Steve.
"Well, we have at least five hours of flight before we reach Estonia. You might want to change into something else in the meantime," Natasha then presses the autopilot button, "Change of clothes at the back."
"Thanks," Steve tiredly smiled at them before he left.
The quinjet didn't precisely have a bathroom installed, but they made do with what they had. They have reserved portable water containers on the jet as a source of refreshment or just to clean up themselves after a clammy mission, just like this one.
Staring at himself, Steve saw the state he was in. His long, dark blonde hair was rumpled, his beard looked unkempt for days, he had grease on his cheeks, and his suit was burned in a few areas surrounding the now blackened star on top of his chest. He looked like a mess.
Staring at the star on top of his chest, his mind quickly wanders to the last time it was at least silver. It's nearly two years ago, barely a month away since he and Tony disbanded. It's the same month—
"You look different,"
A voice snapped Steve out of his thoughts, and he looked in the direction from which the sound came. His eyes immediately grew wide in surprise.
"Peg—" he couldn't finish saying her name as he stared flummoxed at the woman he had loved and was still in love with, obviously.
Peggy leaned on the cabinet next to the sink, where he was standing. Her arms were crossed over her pristine white blouse with a blue skirt that had a red belt around her waist, accentuating her figure.
She looked marvelous in civies, not that she didn't with the usual green uniform. But he didn't see her often in regular civilian clothes like this. And it left him dumbstruck, staring at her like this.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Peggy asked, tilting her head innocently before she smiled teasingly at him, "Did I leave you breathless again with my presence?"
"Yeah," Steve softly answered, nearly a whisper as he didn't dare to blink.
Peggy's brows rumpled in wonder, "You're staring, Steve. Say something,"
"How…" Steve falls out of words again as he studies every angle of Peggy's face. It was exactly how he remembered her, the day he crashed the Valkyrie ship into the ice.
"How, what?" Peggy then stood up and took a step closer to him. His eyes grew bigger at the gesture, completely confused.
"How is this possible?" He finally whispered the thought ruminating in his mind as he imprinted the image of Peggy in front of him.
"You tell me," Peggy then shrugged her shoulders, "You're the one who conjured me right after you got blasted by that bazooka. And by the way," she raised a finger to point out something, "That wasn't really a smart move. You know that wasn't safe. You ought to find another way to save your team without putting yourself in harm's way."
Steve just stared at her, listening to her familiar, sweet, and yet stern voice.
Peggy slowly smiled at him in amusement, "But it's heartwarming to know that you haven't changed a bit…" She took another step closer and lifted her hand to ghostly run her finger over the blackened star on his chest. She then looked at him, straight into his blue, ocean-like eyes, "You're still this foolish, protective man who'd do everything to keep everyone safe besides himself."
Her smile wavers, and Steve immediately knows why. The thought crossed his mind about the sacrifice he had made back then. It had cost him his life, and now he was in the future, with a wide gap between them. The past seven years barely covered the space he had made by making that sacrifice.
"Peggy…"
She shook her head, "Don't apologize for the sacrifice you made for most people. Just because I longed and ached for you to come back to me doesn't mean you made the wrong choice. It had to be done." She then cups his cheeks, making him lean his head against her palm.
Somehow, in some way, he could feel her thumb caressing his cheek, soothing him in the pain he had always felt.
"I miss you," Steve whispered, closing his eyes to stop it from tearing up.
"I'm always here," she whispers back, still holding his face.
He savored the feeling of having Peggy hold him like this. He relished the idea that when he opened his eyes, she'd still be there, as she had said that she would always be there.
"Rogers, are you okay?" a different voice snaps Steve out of it.
Steve immediately opened his eyes and turned around to see Natasha standing behind him, looking perplexed. Without saying anything, he looked back at the spot where he last saw Peggy.
She wasn't there.
Steve held his breath for a second as he tried to collect his thoughts and emotions. He then huffed in exhaustion.
"Yeah, I'm good. Just need to change,"
Natasha stared at him for a few more seconds before she nodded her head, "Alright, take your time," and then she left.
Steve looked back at the mirror before him and stared at the state he was in. And just like what he thought moments ago, he was a mess.
Upon arriving at their hideout in Estonia, Steve, Sam, and Natasha did their immediate errands and concerns. Steve took that needed bath while Sam volunteered to do the errands for their food and supplies, and Natasha started doing her search for the supposed buyers of Ten Rings using the pictures she had gotten in Taloá.
As soon as Steve was done, he came out to the kitchen to start making their dinner with whatever was still left in their kitchen. He wasn't the best cook or anything, but he learned a few passable meals he could make for himself and the others.
He glances at Natasha from time to time, but the woman is busy and engrossed in her task of searching for more intel.
"Worried she'll pick up on the idea that you are making a terrible dinner?"
Steve snappily turned his head to the side, and there he saw Peggy again, still wearing the same clothes he had seen her in back in the quinjet.
Peggy wasn't looking at him, but rather at the pan he was using.
"You'll burn the onions and garlic, darling." Peggy then looked up and saw him baffled. So, she snapped her fingers at him, "Steve, you're cooking, and you don't want to burn them."
"Right!" Steve uttered in surprise before he looked down at his nearly burnt aromatics, "Um…Hey, Nat?"
"Yeah?" Natasha answers without looking at him.
"Do you mind a little burnt onions and garlic in the omelet?" Steve questioned, looking at the busy woman, then at Peggy, who was trying her best not to laugh at his bashful face.
"I've had worse. It's fine," Natasha coolly replies.
Steve sighed in relief. He then started cooking their meal quietly, trying his best to ignore Peggy, who was just there next to him, watching whatever he was doing.
He knows she was part of his imagination. She admitted that he conjured her up after the blast. Acknowledging her presence wasn't going to help him, and he thought it would probably just make him lose his mind more. It wasn't because talking to your hallucination was bizarre (even if it was), but because it'll be a painful reminder that Peggy was gone from his life.
"You do know that I can hear your thoughts," Peggy suddenly said, breaking the silence between them.
Steve stopped his hand midway through placing the omelet on the large plate. "Then don't listen."
Peggy raised a brow, "Are you commanding me?"
Steve's eyes widen at her question, "No…it was…more of a suggestion."
Peggy chuckled, "Alright, then I won't." She then walked around the kitchen counter and headed to where Natasha was sitting and working.
"Well, come on. All of you are starving," Peggy then pointed to the plate in front of him, "Place the meal in front so that Natasha can take a break from working. She needs it."
Steve subtly nodded his head before he said, "Nat, break time." He then grabbed the plate and loaf of bread, placing them before the woman, "This bread could be stale, but it would do for now. Now eat."
Natasha amusingly watched the man before she sat properly in her chair and accepted the fork that he was handing to her, "Okay, Grandpa…" She then smirked. Steve could also notice the grin on Peggy's face, "You also look like you need food, so follow your advice."
"And I will," Steve then pulled a chair and sat down while unconsciously looking at Peggy, who was sitting opposite him. She smiled at him in approval.
As he looked down at the meal he had cooked, he couldn't help the smile blossom on his face. It was nice to have Peggy around, reminding him how to take care of himself better because God only knows how much he lacks self-preservation.
He then looked up, expecting to see her. But to his dismay, she was no longer sitting in front of him.
In the next few days, Steve still kept seeing Peggy from time to time. He noticed that it usually happens when he is in between these vacuities of silence, wherein his mind can spiral down into dark thoughts attached to his present life.
But right before he falls into that pit, Peggy's voice will snap him out of it and make conventional conversation. Steve couldn't be happier to answer those mundane questions if it meant he got to see her face and hear her voice.
He knows that he should be telling Sam and Natasha this. But for some irrational thinking, he was unsure of doing that for the fear that Peggy might not pop out of nowhere once he did that. And that was the least he wanted. So, he decided to keep it to himself.
So, to be able to talk to Peggy freely, Steve took it upon himself to do most of the errands outside the hideout. Sam and Natasha would look at him like he had grown two heads, but he would always ignore it. His stepping out in public is quite a peril, given that he could be recognized easily. But ever since he grew his hair longer than he would ever think he'd allow himself as a soldier, and left his beard unshaven for a month now, Steve knew that people wouldn't immediately associate him with Captain America. He looks and feels way too different from his last image in public. So, it was relatively safe.
"Is it part of your disguise to constantly brood?" Peggy sarcastically asks as she walks next to him after they had left a stall in the public market. "Every time you step out, you always look like you're going into battle."
Steve perks up at her sudden voice and startlingly glances at her. She has a teasing look and chuckles at his stunned expression, making him school his face to be neutral as he returns his attention to the front.
"I'm not brooding," He mutters back, as he gently touches the wireless earphone safely placed on his left ear, as a disguise of talking to someone on the phone, "I was just thinking."
He hears her laugh again next to him, tempting him to look at his side as if she were really there. It would look odd for the people around him if he addressed her. So, he diverted and stopped at a crowded stall, pretending to check the items being sold, but in truth, he looked at her instead.
Unbeknownst to the others, Steve and Peggy stood in front of one another, at an arm's length distance. Peggy tilts her head up, looking at him amusingly, wondering what made him stop walking. But the moment they looked at one another, Steve seemed to have lost his breath. She couldn't help but be pleased by the same effect she still has on him.
Steve was supposed to say something when he turned to look at her. But his words flawlessly left him as soon as he gazed at her hazel-brown eyes. He had forgotten how easily he gets distracted by her eyes. It always mesmerized him—sucked into a period where time seemed irrelevant. Looking at her, looking at him was the only thing that mattered.
"You're staring." Peggy shortened their gap as her smile grew bigger. It always amused her how he looked so surprised every time words didn't spill out of his lips. "What were you supposed to say?"
"I forgot…" he admits unfocusedly, as his eyes roam around her face until it ends up on her lips.
Peggy chuckles, and then she sees his forehead scrunching again as he thinks hard again. She reached out and smoothed the creases on his forehead with her thumb.
She said, "I know you worry about a lot of things…" She then shrugged, "Well, more than usual."
He huffed a laugh, looking down at his shoes. Her words speak the truth.
"I may not be real for everybody, but at least, for a bit of time…" She lifts his chin to make him look at her, "Allow me to give you comfort. To be just you…To be Steve Rogers."
Steve sags his shoulders as he slowly smiles at her. At her beaming face, Steve nods his head, feeling the relief and assurance that he never thought he needed to hear.
For once, he is going to allow himself to be selfish, to think for himself, and choose to do things that would make him happy, whether the world approves of it or not. "I'd like that," he said.
Peggy grinned at his conformity, "Alright," she perked up and then urged him to turn around as she looped her arm through his, "then let's finish up this errand, get it back to the bunkers, and have a little trip of our own. I bet you haven't returned to Estonia for a long time."
Steve nods his head, grinning back, "Yeah…" They start walking again, heading towards where he really needed to go. "Hey, how'd you know?"
Peggy scoffed, "Seriously, darling? I live inside your head, remember?"
Steve then lets out a hearty laugh, making people look at him. But he didn't care.
"Stop listening to my thoughts," Steve warned, unseriously with his bright smile on his lips.
She just laughed at him as she answered, "Too late, I've heard everything."
Sitting at their small dining table, Steve, Sam, and Natasha ate their dinner while Natasha briefed them about the new intel she had obtained.
After finally getting concrete leads about the weapons they had seized in Taloá, Natasha was able to determine which other organization the Ten Rings were working with.
"Leviathan?" Sam questioned and looked at Steve, waiting for any recollection.
"Haven't heard of them," Steve muttered as his brows furrowed deeper. He then looked at Natasha, seeming lost in her thoughts. But then she looked back at him as if nothing had happened.
"I don't know if it's a good thing or not that you haven't heard of it. But Leviathan is a soviet science and espionage agency back in the 40s. It's the Red Room's predecessor, which is now gone. But after knowing their existence now, it only means they are starting from scratch again."
"They're rebuilding themselves," Sam whispered as the idea disturbed him. "Do you have any facial recognition who'd restart it?"
She shook her head, "No. No one I have encountered or could have an association with. It's most likely a clean slate,"
"What about Melina?" Steve questioned.
Natasha shrugged, "She didn't recognize any of them."
"And Yelena?" Sam asked.
"I can't get a hold of her," Natasha sighed as she dropped her feet on the floor to sit upright. She continued, "Regardless, we need to get to them. Impounding those weapons from the Ten Rings in Taloá is one thing, but who knows how many groups they are reaching out to?"
"You're right, when you're starting from scratch, you try to tap on every group you get a hold of," Sam added.
"Then let's try to figure out their location. Use their last transaction point with Hamza and track it." Steve then stood up to gather their plates. "Where did the last drop off happen?"
"London," Natasha stated, briefly glancing at Sam before looking back at Steve. "I have a contact there that could help us. It won't be easy to lure them out, but we should set up our grounds to get them to show their shadows."
Sam curiously looked at the blonde woman, tilting his head as if mentally questioning her about what she was trying to do. Natasha then tapped on her wrist, indicating the time.
Sam thought for a second before he turned around to check the calendar. It was the evening of June 16th already. It would be the perfect time for Steve to go back to London.
"Yeah—yeah, I think that would be a great plan," Sam seconded the motion, nodding his head as he looked back at Natasha. She nods her head back and then gestures to Steve.
"We should head there in two days," Sam turned in his chair to lean it backward and catch Steve's attention, who seemed to freeze by the sink, "Let's get our details and intel here set, get our contacts in London ready, then maybe after a day there, we get in touch with Leviathan. What do you say, Cap?"
Steve was quiet for a second longer before he turned around, crossed his arms across his chest, and leaned on the counter.
"We leave tomorrow evening." He then turned around and started washing the dishes. "On the third day, we execute the plan."
"But—"
"Got it," Natasha cuts off Sam, screeching her chair backward as she stood. She widened her eyes at him, telling him just to follow through, leaving the man sighing in defeat.
Staring blankly at the ceiling, Steve laced his hands on top of his stomach. They were heading back to London by tomorrow. It has been quite some time since he went there, doing something he'd never imagined he'd do.
"You're brooding again,"
Steve snaps out of his thoughts and turns his head to look at the right side of his bed. There, Peggy lay on top of the cover, on her side, looking back at him. He immediately did the same.
"You're supposed to be sleeping and not moping about—"
"I miss you," Steve states, silencing the brunette in surprise.
"Steve," Peggy whispered, feeling the resemblance of a pang in her chest.
Steve exhaled despondently and looked away from her eyes, only to focus on her hand lying between them. "Is this how you felt when I crashed the Valkyrie?"
"Most likely…maybe even more." She answered before she moved her right hand, which she knew he was staring at. She then lifted it in front of them, making Steve look back at her in question.
"Place your left hand on mine," Peggy suggested, but Steve just dubiously stared back at her. "Come on. I know you have been avoiding trying to touch me for the fear of making me disappear."
Steve scowled, "Why do you keep listening to my thoughts?"
Peggy chuckled, "I didn't listen to your thoughts. It's obvious on your face. It's also the same reason why you haven't told Sam and Natasha about me."
"I don't mean to keep you a secret," Steve bashfully replies, earning a laugh from the brunette.
"You're talking as if I'm your secret lover," Peggy commented before she placed her right hand on Steve's cheek, caressing it. "I doubt they would even consider me a secret."
"They know a thing or two," Steve smirked a little, earning a laugh from the brunette again.
Peggy then pulls her hand away from his face and presents it in front of him instead, "Come on, place your hand on mine."
Steve huffed before he lifted his left hand and slowly placed it against hers. He quietly gasped as he thought their palms glowed. And for some reason, he could feel her hand warm against his.
Soon enough, he watched their fingers spread wide, and Peggy moved her hand a little to let her fingers fill the gap between his. He was sure it felt warm, and Steve couldn't help but relish the thought. This could all be his mind tricking him, but it was something he'd be willing to accept.
When Peggy's fingers had entwined with his, he did the same gently while keeping his eyes on her. She smiled back at him, admiring his courage to embrace this illusion in front of him. Later on, she scooted closer, placing their interlocked hands against his chest, above his heart.
Lying on his back, Steve closed his eyes, basking in the feeling of having Peggy next to him. Then he realized his mistake and alarmingly opened his eyes to look at his side.
"Everything alright?" Peggy asked sleepily.
Steve heaved in relief, "Yeah. I just thought you disappeared."
"How will I disappear if you're still holding my hand?" Peggy pointed out, making the blonde look down at his chest, and then grinned when he saw their entwined hands. "Don't worry, darling. I'll be right here even if you close your eyes."
"Promise?"
"Promise," Peggy softly taps his hand with hers, lulling him to sleep. So, Steve did what she suggested he do. They then fell into a slumbering silence, but Steve tried his best to avoid falling asleep as he focused on the soft tapping of her fingers.
He then thought about continuing to talk to Peggy, "I remember last year, Sam asked me what I would have done after the war if I hadn't crashed the Valkyrie."
"What did you say?" Peggy whispers back.
Steve suddenly grinned to himself, "I thought you could hear my thoughts."
Peggy suddenly slaps him on his chest, making Steve chuckle, before slipping her fingers back to his again.
"Just tell me the story,"
"Alright, alright," Steve cracks one eye open to check up on Peggy. He smiled in relief, seeing her still there, with her eyes closed, as if she were sleepy too. After that, he recounted the ideal date he had planned for them.
"…then after we dance for hours at the Stork club, I'd walk you home."
Steve heard Peggy hum in agreement, but then she tapped her fingers on the back of his hand.
"How would the date end?" she asked.
Steve opened his eyes and looked at her, "Uhh…I walked you home?"
Peggy opens her eyes too and gives an exasperated look, "You're just going to walk me home?"
"Yeah…?" He said, doubting himself too.
"You're not even going to kiss me?" Peggy questioned with a raised brow as she sat up with her elbow supporting her upright.
Steve blushed at her bluntness, "Would you have allowed me?" he asks back.
"You know that I would, if you tried." She then rolls her eyes at him, "Don't act like we haven't kissed before."
Steve flushed even more, spreading to his neck and chest. Seeing his full body blush, Peggy couldn't help but chuckle to herself before lying back, resting her head against his chest.
"And I'm not just talking about that kiss on top of the car, Steve," Peggy muttered, before grinning when she heard Steve's heart pound faster. "You know, there has been a lot more than that."
"I know…" Steve admits, and the fluttering inside his stomach intensifies, "I remember."
"Good…" Peggy then sighed as if she was ready to fall asleep, finally, "Then we can agree that by the end of our date, you'll come up to my place."
Steve smiled to himself as he closed his eyes, too, allowing sleep to take him over finally. "Do I go home after?" he followed up.
"It depends," Peggy's voice softened in his thoughts, "Maybe not…" Then her voice faded.
Somewhere in Estonia
11:38 PM, June 17, 2018
"Where's Steve?" Sam questioned after he finally loaded up the last of their things from the bunker. He turned around to look at the open ramp and stared at the open forest.
"He went off somewhere there." Natasha then walked up to him and stared at the forest as well for a second before looking at their supplies. "Did you refill our snack bag?"
Sam scrunches his face in disbelief, "Of course. You both get whiny when hungry. So, I stock up on your protein bars."
Natasha shrugged, grinning at him, "Just double checking," and then she left, heading for the cockpit.
Soon enough, Sam sees Steve's silhouette, jogging towards the quinjet.
"You got all of your things?" Sam asked, when suddenly he noticed a bundle Steve was holding.
"Yeah," Steve marched on and clapped Sam on the shoulder as he walked past him, "Let's go."
Somewhere in Hampstead, London
11:15 PM, June 17, 2018
The quinjet hisses as the ramp slowly comes down. Steve and Sam stood at the top and stared at the open woods slowly being revealed to them. Steve only knew that they were headed for London, but for the specific location, he was unaware of it.
Steve fixed the strap of the duffle bag on his shoulder for the nth time as he waited for the ramp to get down fully. He was a little fidgety, having that urge to get things going and finish what he needed to do. Sam notices the impatience in the shifting stance of the blonde.
"Got somewhere to go?" Sam teased with a smirk on his face, but slightly faltered when Steve looked at him, looking nervous. "Hey, you alright, man?"
"Uh, yeah…" Steve then looked back at the exit, and as soon as he saw the woods, he started to walk off, even as the ramp was still off the ground.
Sam bafflingly stared at the leaving blonde, and when Natasha stood next to him, he redirected his curiosity to her.
"Maybe he made plans on his own, like usual," Natasha then walked down the ramp, leaving Sam confused on his own.
When they had settled down in their new hideout, it was an hour past midnight already. Steve was the first to declare that he was going to rest, earning a surprised look from the two. But he brushed it off and closed his door.
Unbeknownst to them, Steve cleaned himself up, changed into cleaner clothes, and packed his suit in his backpack. He rearranged the bundle he brought from Estonia and then lay down on top of his bed, waiting.
After more than half an hour, Steve finally sat up in his bed when he heard each of Sam and Natasha's doors close. He patiently waited for them to settle before he left the bunker. When they told him that they were within Hampstead, he immediately knew that this was planned out, and it was their subtle way of helping him, given the occasion.
In less than 15 minutes of walking, Steve reached the Hampstead Cemetery, and then he searched for a tombstone for another 5 minutes. Soon enough, he found the headstone he was looking for and stood a few feet away from it.
Steve stared at it solemnly for a minute until his body started trembling. His grip on the bundle he was holding tightened, and he crushed it a little. But he quickly loosened his grip so as not to destroy his present.
With a shaky hand, he placed the bundle of Siberian Irises on top of the headstone and took a step back once again. Steve tried his best to control the sob that was building inside his chest. After a few minutes, he felt Peggy standing next to him, and this made him break down.
"When I dreamt of bringing you a bouquet of Irises on our date…" With his head tilted down, Steve clenched his jaw as he tried to suppress his sobs. He breathed shakily before he looked back at the grave and continued, "I didn't realize I'd be doing it on this occasion instead."
"Oh, Steve," Peggy called, feeling the grief in his voice.
When she looked at him, she immediately saw the tears Steve had been shedding. For some reason, she knew it was the same kind of tears he shed when he was told that she had passed. Even after two years, he still cried as much as he did when she had died.
"There are no words I could say to you that would make this less painful." Peggy then cups his cheeks and makes him turn to look at her. Steve was briefly surprised to see tears in her eyes as well. "But for what it's worth, know that throughout my life, you have always been a part of me. I carried you in my heart and sought your wisdom when things got difficult. You have always been my north star."
Steve took in her words like a comforting blanket on a rainy day. Ever since the fallout he had with Tony, every day felt bleak and made him doubt himself at times. But whenever he brings out his compass and looks into Peggy's picture, he somehow feels the reassurance he needed to get going.
He sniffed hard and wiped his tears before he looked at Peggy in her eyes. "Do you think having you as my hallucination is just a coincidence or your subtle way of ghosting me on your death anniversary?"
Peggy huffed a laugh, "Well, if I were a ghost, I think I would be the prettiest one to haunt someone."
"I wouldn't mind if it means having you around forever," Steve then had this look of pleading, asking her to promise him to remain by his side.
But Peggy kept quiet and just caressed his cheek. Steve closed his eyes and leaned onto her palm. He could feel warmth in it despite the cold midnight air.
"I think…" Peggy whispered, and Steve gently nodded, listening to her without opening his eyes, "You conjured me up because you needed my voice as a source of comfort and assurance."
She then placed her other hand against his other cheek, and Steve exhaled tiredly, "For a long time, you have been doubting what you've been doing. You believe in this cause, but sometimes it's hard for you to stand by it when you know that you are putting other people on the line. If you had a choice, you'd do everything on your own because you don't like dragging people into your burden. You're trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, and the world has made it more difficult by giving you an uneven ground to stand on."
"That's why I asked Clint and Scott to accept the government's offer to stay with their family under house arrest instead of running with us." Steve slowly opened his eyes, but he seemed lost in his worry. "I tried to make Sam do the same thing—he has a sister to go to. As for Natasha—"
"You know that Natasha and Sam consider you as their family," Peggy smiled at him reassuringly, "I think that should give you comfort that you are not doing this alone. Remember what you told me?"
Steve looked her in the eyes and immediately knew what she was asking. Hearing his words back then made his chest twitch. Sometimes he hated being a smart mouth.
"You were not being impertinent," Peggy corrected the thought in his head, earning a chortle from the man, "I'm reminding you of your words because I held onto it. Even if I wanted you to do something differently back then, like giving me your coordinates or anything to allow me to find you…I accepted your choice because it was yours and not for me to decide. And just like theirs, it's their choice to stay with you because they believe in the cause that you are all doing."
A sob then slips out of Steve, and he starts crying again. For two years, he had been holding everything in, and having Peggy was the only way for him to let his guard down, even for a short time. Suddenly, he dropped to his knees and wailed, letting out all of the pain, grief, and anger he had been keeping inside.
Hours passed by, and the sky was beginning to turn hues of purple and pink as the sun slowly rose. Steve knew that his time with her at the grave was nearing its end. He and the others still had a mission to do, and he wished he didn't.
Sitting on the ground, with his legs crossed, Steve absentmindedly played with the grass around him as he stared at the headstone. He and Peggy continued talking like usual two people do, except no one else can hear Peggy except him. So, he was thankful enough that there were no other people around to scrutinize him.
"The sun is almost up," Peggy suddenly changes the topic.
Steve sighed petulantly, not wanting to acknowledge the time, "I miss you," he said instead.
"Steve,"
"I love you,"
Silence then lingered, and somehow Steve could feel his eyes water again. It was odd, like he was saying goodbye to Peggy again, and he hated that.
"I love you too, Steve," Peggy whispered, and then she gently made him look back at her. She smiled at him softly in contrast to his teary-eyed face. "I have always loved you,"
Before he could say something back, his burner phone suddenly pinged with a message. It was most likely coming from Sam, with the message asking him where he was because his bed looked unused. Then a second message came in, saying to take his time and that they'll leave when he gets back.
Sighing in defeat, Steve shoved the phone back in his pocket.
"You are brooding again," Peggy teases with amusement in her eyes, "Why do you and Bucky like to brood?"
"Huh?" Steve looked confused at her, but she just chuckled.
"You two are like two peas in a pod. Although Bucky is more likely to brood than you." Peggy then tapped his nose, making him wrinkle it in surprise, "You still look handsome, though, when you brood."
Steve slightly flushed at her compliment before concealing it with a huff of laughter. He redirected his attention back to the headstone.
"I should visit your grave more often," He admits.
"Please don't,"
He looked at her, almost offended, "But why?"
"Because I don't want you to get stuck in this grief," Peggy then stood up, to which Steve copied in fear of losing contact with her.
"I'm not—"
"Steve," She shook her head, "I know it's easy to say but hard to move on, but I want you to try at least to move forward beyond the grief. I'm not asking you to forget me. But I don't want you to revolve your life around this loss. You tried to connect with someone else—"
"About that—" he cuts off, but was silenced immediately when she shook her head.
"No need to explain, darling," she said, cupping his cheek. "What I'm trying to say is, don't be afraid to make new choices for yourself and not just for what is best for the world."
Another sound of a ping breaks the silence, and Steve gruntingly pulls out the phone. Another message came through.
Sorry to interrupt your time. Leviathan took the bait easily, and we must make our move soon.
Steve wanted to whine and retort to the world. Why couldn't the world give this day to him? He just wanted to be with Peggy.
"You do know that I'll always be there with you…" Peggy interrupts his ranting. "Whenever you need me. I promise."
Steve heaved in defeat, "I know…" he then tapped the compass in his pocket, "It's my constant reminder."
"Good. Then you're good to go," she said, turning him around to face the direction towards the gate of the cemetery. "The world awaits your help."
Steve followed Peggy's suggestion to head back. But as soon as he was a few meters away from her grave, he felt like he stepped out of a haze, like a string snapped out of his life. He turned around to look back at her grave and noticed Peggy was no longer at his side or her grave.
"Peggy?" he called, but the morning breeze was the only thing that answered him. Sighing, he then said, "I hope to see you soon, my love." And then he started to walk again and leave.
"Goodbye, my darling…"
As the three of them rode a small, inconspicuous car, with Natasha behind the wheel, Sam at the passenger side, and Steve in the back seat, they headed towards the meet-up point with their contact from Leviathan. It was going to be another undercover mission.
Natasha and Sam felt bad about pulling Steve out of his unofficial day off. They really hoped that they wouldn't have to do this mission on this day. The whole idea was to give this day to Steve to mourn and spend it however he wanted. But when he returned to the bunker in less than an hour after Natasha messaged him, they knew there was no point in changing his mind.
So, here they were heading towards another mission. Natasha looked at the rearview mirror and suddenly noticed Steve looking down at something in his hand. She glanced at Sam and made him look at the mirror as well.
When Sam checked, he saw what Natasha was pointing out. Without hesitation, he turned around his seat and saw Steve staring at the picture inside his compass.
Unlike before, when he caught him doing that, Steve hurriedly kept it away from other people's prying eyes. But this time, Steve didn't have the urgency to keep it away and stared at it openly.
"Hey, sorry about the timing, man," Sam uttered.
Steve looked up at him and gave a tight-lipped smile. "It's fine," he said, then looked back at the compass. "Peggy would have told me to do what needs to be done first."
Sam nodded and observed him to see if he was going to mumble, as he had done in the past few days. But the man was just solemnly quiet, admiring the picture.
"Is she—?" Sam cautiously questioned and then cut himself off, unsure how to continue. But Steve seemed to understand.
Steve remained silent for a minute, then closed his compass. He then said, "My hallucinations are gone."
He slipped the compass back into the left breast pocket of his black leather jacket and then tapped it reassuringly. He glanced at his friends, smiled at them softly, and said, "But she's here with me. All the time."
End.