Ever tried haggling with an immovable object? Shockingly, it isn't easy. If this were a matter of brute force, well then, things would be a lot different. However, even if the desire for violence was strong, it could not be indulged.
Busho, Jinzuren, and the three elites of Boros have spent the last several hours trying to come to some type of agreement with the Association's executives. Sadly, this collective of CEO types was impressively steadfast and unified. If Saitama was going to be an official hero in ANY capacity, he NEEDED to be an obscure nobody and keep a low profile. The Association would be willing to pay him an S-Class hero's salary and offer other forms of special treatment, but that's as far as they would go.
"I do not believe you grasp what you're doing," Geryuganshoop sighed. His well of patience was nearly dry. "Our mistress will not hesitate to tear your institution down to its plumbing if Saitama isn't positioned as the greatest human in the world." He stressed, trying to get through their astonishingly thick skulls.
"Why are we focusing so much on that?" That question came from a man named Sekingar. While all the executives chimed in here and there, he'd been appointed as the main speaker in this discussion. "Thanks to you, we know of Lady Boros' history. We're not ignorant of her power, accolades, and influence. Even so, she is not the ruler of Earth. At present, any feelings or thoughts she has regarding our society and customs are only valued as observational opinions. We will not make decisions that we feel strongly opposed to or any that could affect the world negatively just because it will displease her. If Lady Boros continues to insist to the degree that any form of violence occurs, then we will be forced to respond in kind." He stated.
"Whoa! Let's take a breath!" Busho quickly interjected with widened eyes. "There's no reason to consider potential altercations. Regardless of whether Saitama is recognized or not, I know for certain he wouldn't just stand by and let Lady Boros go on a rampage. I think we've allowed ourselves to focus too much on hypothetical worst-case scenarios. Our priority, no matter which side speaks, should be trying to figure out a way where everyone gets what they want without there being tension." He said.
"I agree with scruffy," Groribas joined in, stepping forward. "What this boils down to is that our mistress will not accept an outcome where Saitama is put into a spot, and he must remain there forever. If you could propose a means by which he can progressively become better known by the population of your planet, then that should appease her. All she wants is for him to receive what he is due. Monetary compensation is a good start, but you need to do more." He told them.
"..." Seklingar closed his eyes and folded his arms as he considered that. "...I...do understand your position. Furthermore, while we are still working to determine just how many incidents Saitama has resolved, there's no denying he's responsible for quite a few. Someone with strength like his would've dealt with monsters or disasters of great magnitude. It wouldn't be right to act as though the service he's provided to humanity isn't appreciated." He stated after restoring his vision. "However, we must remain firm that we cannot unveil Saitama out of nowhere. The implication of his strength will cause others, most likely heroes, to challenge him and demand proof. If Saitama casually displays his incomprehensible capabilities, it WILL cause problems. But if we start him at a low ranking and allow him to participate in significant situations, then he will naturally be noticed and recognized as a notable figure within our organization, which will also yield a steady climb to S-Rank." He explained, ending with a suggestion.
In reaction, the elites looked at one another before coming together for a huddle. Yet, they would not speak verbally.
"What do you think?" Groribas asked, knowing Geryuganshoop already established a telepathic connection.
"Putting my exhaustion aside, the plan he's offered isn't unreasonable. It would be unfair of us to deliberately disregard the impact Saitama's sudden reveal would have. If there is a way for everyone to get what they want and neither side feels cheated, then we should go for that. Our mistress might have a word or two to say, but I think she'll enjoy the idea of Saitama proving himself through a series of amazing feats that will leave the masses stupefied." Geryuganshoop answered.
"This would also help us form a better relationship with these people." "Moving forward, we're going to be in constant contact with them, so being friendly rather than hostile would be optimal." "There is also the matter of revealing us and our existence to the rest of the world. I say we should save our headaches for how that will be handled." Three of Melzargard's heads commented.
"Alright, then!" Groribas exclaimed out loud as they all turned to face the executives again. "If you stay true to your promise of giving Saitama opportunities to become better known, then we'll ensure Lady Boros doesn't go on a rampage." He said.
"Wonderful. We've finally reached an agreement," Sekingar replied with a smile and a sigh of relief.
Suddenly, a chorus of digital sounds filled the air. The origin was every executive's cellphone as it was a collective formed from their ringtones.
"Uh, what's going on?" Groribas inquired, speaking to Busho and Jinzuren as each call was accepted.
"I'm...not sure..." Jinzuren admitted. "My first guess would be an emergency, but if it were, there'd be an alarm of some kind. Or, at the very least, someone would be rushing into the room." He said.
As the group observed this perplexing development, they saw each executive's eyes widen. A moment later, they understood why.
"We've got a problem!" Sekingar exclaimed with urgency once he and his peers ended their calls. "There was a disaster unfolding in City Z. Two S-Class heroes were there to try and deal with it. Yet, when it seemed as though there was nothing they could do to prevent the impending destruction, a mysterious purple energy appeared and dealt with the problem. One of the heroes, Metal Knight, is here and wants to speak to us about this!" He informed them.
...
...
...
"I'm going back to the ship," Groribas decided after a brief silence. Sadly for the plant man, he was kept in place by Geryuganshoop's ESP. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, so they say. What happened during Saitama's efforts to keep Boros distracted that led to this? And what were they doing now?!
Meanwhile
"GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!"
That was the thunderous cheering of countless Subterranean warriors. This crowd of combatants was gathered around two of their guests. Saitama and Boros were currently doing push-ups with mountains of metal ingots on their backs. Genos and Xiomara were also present, but they weren't participating in the chanting.
So, how exactly did we get here? Well, to make sense of it, we need to obtain more knowledge about Subterranean society. As mentioned previously, Xiomara earned her spot as the ruler of her people by being their greatest warrior. To to shock of no one, the Subterraneans placed a fairly hefty importance on an individual's capabilities.
As the group was escorted from the world above to the one below, Xiomara told her new friends that the easiest way to earn respect and be welcomed warmly was to prove themselves. Sure, none of the Subterraneans were going to do something ridiculous like run their mouth in front of their Queen. If any of them tried it, they'd be met with a switch kick to their jaw by their leading lady. But just because the Subterraneans wouldn't be outwardly rude or disapproving didn't mean they wouldn't think and feel that way internally.
Unfortunately for Boros, a fight between her and Saitama was immediately ruled out. Even if those two pulled their punches as much as they could, there would still be a concern of tectonic plates shifting, causing earthquakes! Xiomara was also swift in preventing the idea of ANY combat or competition occurring between them and the Subterraneans. They needed to win these people over, not humiliate and injure them, which would undoubtedly have a profound impact on their self-worth! At least, according to Xiomara.
That's when Genos threw his blonde-haired head into the ring. Since neither Saitama nor Boros could fight anyone, as it would bring about the apocalypse, he provided them with a simple but brilliant solution. Let these two freaks of nature dazzle the populace with their wide array of physical abnormalities. He didn't word it like that, but that doesn't make the description inaccurate.
Anyway, the others all liked the idea. Nothing special was needed, and Xiomara knew her people would love to see Saitama and Boros exceed their wildest expectations. Thus, after reaching their destination and getting everyone introduced, Xiomara requested that her subjects choose a challenge for the duo to overcome. Again, unsurprisingly, the first thing the Subterraneans thought of was a weightlifting competition.
Now, we're back to the present. Saitama and Boros have been doing push-ups for about twenty minutes. Every five minutes, the pair would pause to allow the Subterraneans to add more ingots to their backsides. Honestly, they could probably stop right now, but neither one of them wanted to. Both Saitama and Boros realized this would be a way for them to pit their strength against each other without any consequences, so they were just as into it as their spectators.
"Should we stop them?" Genos asked, even though this was his idea in the first place. Hearing such a question made Xiomara laugh.
"Why would we? This is what we hoped for!" Xiomara questioned while gesturing to the crowd.
"It is. I just assumed that you'd want to show us around and share more of your culture. Knowing how Boros and Master are, they could do this for hours, maybe even days, without taking a break." Genos explained.
"Eh, that's true. If we let them get too carried away, it'll be a hassle getting them to calm down," Xiomara acknowledged. "Even so, we should let this go on a bit longer. Ten more minutes, I'd say. Then I'll settle everything, and we can proceed with your introduction to the Subterranean lifestyle." She decided.
"Would you mind if we talked about it? Or would you prefer to focus on the push-ups?" Genos inquired, eager to learn.
"Not at all," Xiomara responded with a smile. Truthfully, she viewed this as a sort of bonding experience to improve his opinion of her.
"Thank you," Genos politely said before continuing. "Most importantly, how are Subterraneans born? You do not seem to possess any biological material." He asked.
"That has to do with the energy that is contained within us," Xiomara began while pointing to the bright blue glow coming from her body. "The first Subterraneans, including myself, emerged from a bright blue ocean. However, this ocean was not comprised of water. It is the source of our life, and from it, we built our civilization. The entirety of my kingdom was built upon it." She answered.
"So, the ocean is below us, then?" Genos pressed, receiving a nod.
"As far as we can tell, it is limitless. Then again, it's not as if we've tried to deplete something so vital. Still, there has never been a decline in its quantity or quality. We believe that we are born not from this energy but from the world itself, and it is the world that gives us that energy to live. Regardless of what name you give her, be it Mother Earth or something else, we view ourselves as children of the planet." Xiomara shared.
"Hmm..." Genos hummed with his eyes closed. That lasted only a second as an idea popped into his head. "Xiomara, could your energy be used for other things?" He inquired, looking back at her.
"Of course," Xiomara confirmed as she held up the hilts of her blades. "I channel the energy I possess into these. They're inventions that weaponize it and shape it to resemble swords. We have other methods of accomplishing the same result without using ourselves as the source, but that would take us quite a while to get through." She revealed.
Like before, Genos took a moment to contemplate. It was also just as brief.
"Why are you a Queen? If Subterraneans do not engage in reproductive actions, then why would you have a gender? Wouldn't you just be the Subterranean ruler?" Genos asked.
"Ah! That's a good one!" Xiomara praised him. "As you say, we do not engage in the same activities that humans do to create more of our kind. However, since we view the Earth as our mother, it only made sense that the ruler of the species should model themselves after her. So, when I earned my position through combat, I became the Subterranean Queen." She answered.
"Would any other Subterranean females be seen as disrespectful or wrong in some way?" Genos followed up.
"Not at all, but none of my people have ever shown a desire to do as I have done. I wouldn't be against the idea, necessarily, it's just that I've been the only female Subterranean for so long that it's become-"
BOOM
Everything came to a stop. Out of nowhere, a deafening sound echoed throughout the kingdom. However, it didn't happen nearby. The source was an untouched spot on the outer wall of the cavern. Well, it USED to be untouched, but now it was in shambles as whatever had caused the detonation reduced that section to rubble.
Like flipping a switch, every Subterranean, including their Queen, took a battle stance and produced any weapons on their person. Saitama and Boros casually rose from the ground, causing the ingots to fall with a loud clatter. As the duo straightened their clothes, Genos stared intensely at the opening and conducted scans with his eyes.
"Master!" Genos exclaimed as Saitama and Boros came closer. "I'm detecting something large approaching the cavern. It's bigger than all of us, meaning it can only be a monster!" He informed them.
"Is this a common thing?" Saitama inquired, speaking to Xiomara.
"No. The beasts of the Earth know better than to test their luck with the Subterraneans..." Xiomara muttered with a squint, not looking away from the damage done to her home.
"Huh, an intruder, then," Boros guessed, sticking her hands in her pockets. "Should I handle this, too?" She offered.
"Actually, if it's okay, I'd like to," Saitama requested.
"Oh? How come?" Boros questioned.
"Part of it is that I'd feel bad if you just did everything. It'd make me feel like I'm making you do all the work, even though that's not the case." Saitama said.
"And the rest?" Boros asked.
"I'm hoping I get to do something just as cool as you." Saitama answered, managing to make her blush a little.
"You...mean the meteor...right?" Boros inquired, much quieter than before.
"Mhm. It might've been easy for you, but it was still awesome." Saitama told her, unintentionally worsening her blush.
"Master! It's here!" Genos exclaimed, getting their focus back on the opening.
From the darkness within the newly made hole, a fur-covered appendage emerged. Five more would soon follow. All of these limbs were remarkably muscular, which made sense, given what they were carrying. A blackened beast that was like a nightmare made real. The very embodiment of terror.
The beast was easily the size of a small building. On its head, it had six glowing red eyes. In its mouth, there were jagged formations that could be teeth, but they also seemed to be part of the jaws themselves. More of its impressive musculature could be seen as it entered the cavern. Whatever this monster was, it was clearly-
"Is...that a dog?..." Saitama asked with a head tilt and a raised brow. Upon hearing that, Boros gasped.
"I was thinking the same thing!" Boros exclaimed, her eye wide. "I don't know if it IS a dog, but it sure looks like one." She said.
"What kind of dogs have you two seen?" Xiomara questioned. The absurdity of their statements was enough to break her intense demeanor.
"Wait, hold on," Saitama reacted as he raised his hands. "How do YOU know what a dog is? Are there, like, mole dogs?" He inquired.
"Saitama, we live underground, we're not stupid," Xiomara bluntly replied. "We know about the animals above. We also observed the domestication of wolves. Remember, we're as old as the world." She stated.
"Ah, okay, that makes sense," Saitama responded.
During all that, the so-called dog had been surveying its surroundings. When it saw the kingdom and those within it, the "dog" opened its mouth. Inside its maw, a bright light could be seen. Typically, such a sight never meant anything good.
"Hey, the dog's about to do something," Boros noted as she looked at Saitama. "If you want to deal with this, I'd advise hurrying." She told him.
"Oh, right, sorry," Saitama apologized, not meaning to get distracted.
What happened next changed the mood. Right as the "dog" was nearly done with whatever it was doing, Saitama disappeared. The Subterraneans and Xiomara were startled. Yet, they didn't have time to process and react to that before...
BAM
Saitama...somehow...was at the hole in the cavern wall. Did...Did he jump there? That had to be the explanation...right? Saitama couldn't teleport; he wasn't psychic...was he?
Nevermind. Instead of focusing on the ever-baffling actions of this bald man, let's check in with the "dog". Given who we're dealing with here, Saitama likely slapped or even punched the creature to prevent a presumed attack. So, how did that turn out?
Well, the "dog" was...gone. No, not dead or anything so gruesome. But you see, everything transpired so rapidly that the Subterraneans and Xiomara weren't sure of what Saitama did. Thankfully, Boros and Genos paid close attention. From their perspective, they witnessed the "dog" be sent flying down the tunnel it had made. Impressively, though, it stayed on its feet as it skidded away, leaving indents in the stone from its claws.
"Bad dog," Saitama scolded, speaking into the tunnel. "You don't go around blowing things up. You could hurt someone." He went on.
This...was a lot, at least of the Subterraneans. Saitama doing push-ups with a mountain of metal on his back was one thing. But instantly moving to a different location and striking something several times larger than himself like it was nothing? Yeah, that was going to need to settle for a while...
THUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUD
A loud, repeating noise came from the tunnel. There was no mystery as to what it was. The "dog" was running back to the cavern. Looks like Saitama would need to-
From the darkness, the "dog" leaped forward. It clamped its open mouth around Saitama's body. Once he was in its jaws, it shook its head violently, trying to tear him to pieces.
"Saitama!" Xiomara exclaimed in horror. Despite knowing how strong he was, she couldn't keep from being worried about her friend.
Luckily for the Subterranean Queen, her dismay was temporary. After a few seconds, the cavern was filled with desperate whining. Obviously, that was the "dog". But why was it doing that?
Saitama, with the same urgency as a fish in water, reached up while being thrashed and pinched his captor's nose. For the "dog", that was the equivalent of getting your pinky caught in a tightly wound vice. It whimpered and stomped its feet, wanting so desperately to be freed. It also didn't want to release what it had in its mouth, but there was no other way to stop the pain.
"Ugh, I'm soaked..." Saitama groaned as the "dog" set him on the ground. He maintained his grip to ensure it wouldn't try anything.
As Saitama did his best to shake away some of the slobber, the "dog" continued crying. Be aware that he took no pleasure in this, but he felt it was his responsibility to do so, as this pooch needed discipline.
"Hey, look at me," Saitama commanded. "I'll let you go, but you better not do that again," He said.
To convey that it understood, the "dog" laid down. Saitama couldn't help but smile, as this showed that this wasn't some unruly monster. It really was just an overgrown dog.
"Good boy," Saitama praised it. When he released the nose, he moved his hand to the dog's head to pat it.
FWOOSHFWOOSHFWOOSHFWOOSHFWOOSHFWOOSH
Ah, there it is, a happy tail wag. That was the final nail in the coffin. Any chance of being viewed as some scary thing was long gone. Although it wasn't normal, this creature was one hundred percent man's best friend.
"Aww, that's cute," Boros commented with a smile. By now, she and Genos were on their way over and were close enough for Saitama to hear them.
"Yeah, we were right; it's just a big dog," Saitama replied, continuing to pat it. "This guy was probably just wandering around and stumbled onto this place," He reasoned.
"Master, your clothes are drenched," Genos said before raising his hands. "If you'd like, I could dry them for you." He offered.
"Whoa, seriously? I wouldn't have to take them off?" Saitama questioned, receiving a nod for confirmation. "Wow! Thanks, Genos!" He exclaimed, grateful for the help.
"While he's doing that, could I...maybe...just a little..." Boros trailed off, averting her gaze.
"Pet the dog?" Saitama guessed.
"Pfft, no, I wasn't going to say that..." Boros denied that with an ear-to-ear grin. "But since you suggested it, I suppose I'll give it a go," She decided.
And so, together, Saitama and Boros gave this colossal canine affection, much to its pleasure. As they did, Genos blasted Saitama with an intense heat that was sure to deal with the doggie drool. Regarding the Subterraneans and Xiomara, they were motionless and silent. If this was enough to incapacitate them, hoo, boy, they are going to have it ROUGH as time goes on. But hey, you can't really blame them.