Chapter 3
"You made it to the big time Vanessa! I told you you would!" Minmei said, tipping her round sunglasses down and looking at Vanessa with a mischievous smile.
"Huh?"
Vanessa looked up, startled, from her tea cup and half eaten waffle, as Bron, nearly finished with his enormous cheese omelette, did the same. The couple were taking breakfast on the veranda of the coastal resort that Minmei had booked for her and her group of friends the previous week. The Gulf of Mexico may have been permanently altered by the Rain of Death, but guests of the resort would never know it, thanks to the meticulous landscaping. Below the veranda was nothing but white sand, blue-green waves, and the colorful sails of wind-surfers and small yachts. Vanessa found it all a bit decadent, and certainly far outside her own experience, but she knew better than to deny Minmei the chance to spoil her friends. Until, of course, Minmei triumphantly slapped the glossy daily tabloid magazine on the white linen tablecloth.
'MÉNAGE À SCANDAL?' the headline screamed in bold yellow letters. Vanessa lifted an eyebrow skeptically, then got a good look at the subjects of the cover photo. The blood drained from her face.
"That's- that's-" she sputtered, her brain locking up and ceasing communication with her lips.
"I know!" Minmei agreed gleefully. "Looking good Vanessa! And Bron! Those muscles! I think you're going to have a nice boost to your polling numbers!" she said with a sly grin.
"What is-" Bron asked, turning his head awkwardly to get a better angle to see the magazine, and then choked, his face turning crimson.
It was a photo taken at the very beach they were vacationing at. The photographer had captured Minmei, on her stomach laying on a red towel, and wearing a floral printed two piece swimsuit. Vanessa, wearing an only slightly less daring one piece that matched the color of her cybernetics, was on her knees, straddling Minmei's thighs and rubbing sunscreen on the singer's creamy skin. A short distance away, Bron, who was laying back in a beach lounger under a big yellow umbrella, was glancing over at them, raising his eyebrows appreciatively. Below the photo, the subheading continued, 'The Superstar, the Space Captain, and the Senator: learn every detail of their steamy romantic getaway on page 23!'
"Oh my God," Vanessa said, carefully setting her fork next to her plate so that she didn't accidentally twist it into a pretzel.
"I swear I just happened to look over, I wasn't ogling you!" Bron stammered.
Minmei's laughter was like small, joyful bells. "You silly! You're not going to offend me! Besides, how could I fault you for noticing the two best looking women on the beach!"
Far from being reassured, Bron was only turning redder, and Minmei giggled again, sitting down in an empty chair and crossing her long legs at the knees. She was already dressed to return to the beach, wearing a teal swimsuit under a knit orange coverup and a broad brimmed straw hat.
"I see they neglected to mention the rest of our group, even though they're just out of the camera frame," Vanessa noted sourly.
"That's tabloid journalism," Minmei said airily. "You've been lucky, being off of Earth for so many years. Though poor Bron has never quite gotten used to it, have you dear?" She reached over and patted his hand with genuine sympathy, and he nodded weakly, seeming to recover a little.
"Of course," she added in a coquettish tone, "If I had to choose two people to be in a relationship with, you would both be in my top five."
Now Vanessa and Bron both blushed helplessly all over again. "Oh you two are so fun to tease," Minmei said, resting her chin on her interlaced fingers. "It's no wonder Rico and Mary can hardly help themselves. I promise, I'll be good now, okay?"
Vanessa sighed gustily, and turned the magazine face down.
"Well, what now?" she wondered. "Any chance of privacy is gone. Do we cancel the rest of the trip?"
"No way! Why let the paparazzi ruin our fun? Like I said, this is just life as a celebrity. Besides, what's the harm? Nobody's going to take it seriously, and I'm not embarrassed."
"Well that's fine for you, Minmei, but I'm not thrilled about the idea of strangers following us around and photographing us all day," Vanessa said, looking around warily, but couldn't spot any interlopers.
"That's how I feel, too," Bron agreed. "Monument is one thing, but this trip was supposed to be just for us."
"We can still keep away from the cameras, we just need to change strategies," Minmei assured them with a wink.
Vanessa supposed that the jet ski's rush of speed, the salt spray as she, Bron, and Minmei rode over seafoam, and the throaty growl of the engines might have been more exhilarating for someone who hadn't made a career of riding warships and mecha into battle. The sky was blue, the waves were gentle, and the sun shone brightly upon them, but far from enjoying the ride, Vanessa mostly fumed over the interference in their lives. Minmei, a short distance ahead, waved back from her white and red striped jet ski, and she realized Minmei was directing them toward an isolated cove. Vanessa nodded and waved back, bringing her green jet ski in line behind Bron's black one to follow them into the cove.
Have I really just forgotten how to have fun, like Allison keeps saying? she wondered. She would have no chance to debate the question on this outing. Allison and Jose had chosen to visit the local market to shop for souvenirs, while Rico had convinced a dubious Mary to try hang gliding and record the experience for his show. Minmei had suggested that a day trip along the shore would be the easiest way for her and Bron to ditch their pursuers, but Vanessa wasn't finding herself in the spirit of things, and was beginning to feel guilty, as if she was letting down both Bron and Minmei.
She did her best to banish such thoughts, once she entered the cove. It might not match the ethereal beauty of the alien world she had experienced half a galaxy away, but it was without a doubt one of the loveliest locations left on Earth. Shallow, vivid blue-green waters lapped at the shore of a sandy white beach, backed by a dense wall of lush tropical trees and flowering plants. Beneath the clear, calm waters, colorful fish darted, and spindly limbed crabs scuttled on the uncluttered sea floor. A small waterfall poured over a cliff face at one end of the cove. They could hear water splashing cheerily, and birds called in the distance as they all throttled back their engines. Minmei beached her jet ski, climbing off to wait for Vanessa and Bron.
"Well, what do you think?" Minmei asked as Vanessa joined her in the warm, ankle deep water and they all shrugged off their life jackets. "Private enough for you?"
Vanessa took a look around, and breathed deep. The mix of salt air and the perfume of the flowers made her head swim. She took Bron's hand as he made his way over to her, and smiled.
"It's wonderful. Thank you."
"Good. Bron, would you mind unloading our stuff? I'd like to show Vanessa the way up to the waterfall."
"Sure, go ahead." He kissed Vanessa and gave her hand a gentle squeeze that told her he understood that Minmei had something more serious in mind to talk about than tabloid headlines. "I'll have everything laid out by the time you get back."
Bron busied himself unstrapping the waterproof cases that held their food, drinks, and towels from the sides of the jet skis and carrying them up onto the beach, while Minmei led Vanessa into the trees and along a narrow but well kept path of round, pebbly stones.
"So, Vanessa, how have you been liking the trip- aside from the unwanted attention?"
"It's- it's good," Vanessa answered, hoping that Minmei had missed the brief hesitation. "It's good to get more time with our friends, away from it all. It's been too long."
"Yes, it has. I just wish Konda had been able to come along."
"Me too. I was hoping to talk to him about the situation with the giants, but he said he couldn't meet with me until after we got back. He has some kind of special project that's taking up all of his time."
"That sounds like him. It's almost impossible to pry him away from the Ministry these days, even for me," Minmei said ruefully.
They reached the top of the cliff a few minutes later, and Minmei sat next to the stream, where it poured down into the cove below.
"Come here. The view is worth the climb," she prompted, patting the smooth, flat stone next to her.
Vanessa sank down and matched Minmei's posture, knees tucked close to her chin, arms wrapped around her shins, and they both looked out over the shimmering Caribbean. Vanessa couldn't quite see the resort from their perch, but she spotted a speedboat out on the water, trailing a hang glider attached by a cable behind it, and she wondered if it might be Rico and Mary. Further out toward the horizon was the hulking form of heavily laden container ship, making its way to its next port of call. For a few minutes, Vanessa watched the progress of the tiny red delta shape of the hang glider and the gargantuan eggshell blue freighter, and then, next to her, Minmei started to hum softly. Vanessa strained to hear the unfamiliar tune, until Minmei repeated it, more strongly this time. The notes bounced along, rapid and sweet, yet almost wistful. Finally, she began to sing aloud.
Sea of glass, like a mirror under my feet,
Blue skies…
Minmei's words trailed off. She began humming again with her eyes shut, and Vanessa realized that the musician was creating the lyrics to a new song right in front of her.
Sea of glass, like a mirror under my feet,
Blue skies reflected, but dark depths lie beneath…
Minmei hummed a few more bars, and opened her eyes, laying her cheek against her knees to look at Vanessa.
"Not much like most of my songs, is it?" she asked wryly.
"No. It is beautiful, but even the tune is somehow melancholy."
"All of my songs come from my heart. But some of them are just for me, not for my fans. I learned my lesson with 'On a Distant Shore.'"
Vanessa didn't say anything. There were a very few times that Minmei had stopped trying to make everyone around her happy, and opened up her innermost thoughts to Vanessa. She didn't want to press her.
"The view… it's almost perfect, isn't it?" Minmei said after a while.
"I suppose," Vanessa said, not sure what was meant by that. She tilted her head to better look at her friend, but Minmei was still staring out at the horizon. Minmei finally turned her blue eyes toward Vanessa, but the smile on her face was a wan one.
"The illusion, I mean," Minmei explained. "You can stay at this resort, enjoy the sun, the water, and the luxury. But if you turn around and walk back through the woods, before very long, you'll find it's all just a thin ribbon of untouched land along the coast, and the interior is just as devastated as most of the rest of the world."
Vanessa didn't reply, so surprised she was. Minmei never talked like this. The young idol singer, still only in her twenties, held Vanessa's gaze steadily, and finally spoke up again.
"Vanessa, are you happy?"
"I'm-" Her voice broke, and she swallowed. "I'm happy to be back with Bron again. To spend time with my friends after being away so long. It was very generous of you to invite us here."
"I mean, are you happy with your life?" Minmei asked more insistently. Vanessa found she couldn't answer, and pursed her lips instead. Minmei nodded.
"Me neither," the songstress admitted, and much to Vanessa's shock, she saw unshed tears in her eyes. "We're alike in that, I think. I have so much. Fame, wealth, friendships, people who love me. I feel selfish and guilty for not being happy all of the time. But I'm not. I have moments of happiness, when I can help someone, share a fun experience with the people I'm close to, or lose myself in a new song, but when I go back to my hotel, or my penthouse, I feel alone, and I remember how broken the world still is. How broken I still am. Is it stupid to feel that way?"
Vanessa didn't trust her voice right away, first blinking away the moisture in her own eye. "No. It's not," she said, her voice a little hoarse.
"But it feels like it, doesn't it?"
"Yeah." She took a moment to collect her thoughts. "Bron does make me happy. He's the best thing in my life. And I have lots of other wonderful people around me. Like you," she added. "But it doesn't make the ugliness go away. I-" this time her voice did choke off, and disgusted with herself, she pounded the stone she was sitting on with her fist. The blow had no effect on either. She took a breath and forced out the trembling words. "I'm using him, to comfort myself, without actually dealing with my problems."
"There are worse ways to cope, you know." Minmei said solemnly. "Drinking. Violence."
"But I'm supposed to be better than this! I swore, years ago, to stop patronizing Bron, to stop underestimating him, and be honest with him. But how do I tell him that I can hardly stand to spend time with anyone but him or our closest friends? That I think Monument, and most of Earth, are hideously ugly? That I wish I was back in space? That I'm carrying hatred in my heart? That I don't know if I'm even the same person he fell in love with?"
Minmei said nothing for a long time, and when she spoke again, it was as if she hadn't heard Vanessa.
"I didn't handle fame very well. I was kind of manic, one minute I'd be juggling a half dozen projects at once, the next I'd be passing out from exhaustion. Literally. Poor Rick. He must have thought I was falling asleep every time we met so I could avoid talking to him, or that I just didn't care. But when I was with him was the only time I felt safe to just relax and rest. He wasn't like everyone else. He didn't expect me to put on a performance for him. I think," she said thoughtfully, "that the moment I broke was when I stood with Rick and watched the Rain of Death. I don't suppose that makes me very unique," she added with a sad smile.
"You see," she went on, "he'd just told me, finally told me, that he loved me. Then he ran away, and I knew that he planned to die in that battle. For once, just this once, I chased after him, to talk to him, make him be honest, make him see reason, and not throw his life away. And then the world ended before our eyes. It's so funny to think that at that moment, our roles were reversed. I was the one who lost hope, and was ready to die. I would have stood at that window and sung lullabies to a dead world, until the Zentraedi came and destroyed the SDF-1. But he told me he wanted me to sing. Not for him. Not for the dead. For everyone. And I did. But it was because of his hope, not mine. When I told him I loved him, what I really meant was, 'goodbye.'"
"And then we won," Vanessa said quietly.
"We won," Minmei agreed. "Won our lives, but nothing else. Zentraedi, civilians, soldiers, singers, activists, whatever dreams we had, those of us who survived, were no longer possible."
"But you sang on."
"I did. But not for myself. I sang the same old familiar songs, songs that had almost lost their meaning, because I was expected to. Because I was told to. Eventually, I tried to run away."
"You told me. You went to Rick."
"I almost ruined his life, and his best chance for happiness. It wasn't just Khyron's final attack on Macross and the SDF-1 that snapped me out of it, it was seeing Rick and Lisa together."
Minmei turned back to Vanessa, and this time her tears were falling freely. "They had a love that was real. And more than that, they shared a dream. 'To the stars, and beyond.' And I realized that I had given up on all of my dreams."
"You said… before I left Earth, you said that we'd need to create new dreams. But now I think the promise of those dreams has failed. Or that I've failed," Vanessa said, feeling her own tears on her cheek. Minmei shifted her legs around to scoot closer, and reached over, taking both of Vanessa's hands.
"I still haven't found my new dreams. But I've dedicated myself to supporting everyone else's dreams, and to continuing on, even if it's hard to smile when the loneliness and loss creep up on me. Bron loves you, Vanessa. He always will. Trust that love. Let him comfort and help you right now, even if you don't know how to fix yourself or explain your feelings yet. Look around you, and find your new dream."
"What if I don't find it? What if I break Bron's heart?" Vanessa asked plaintively.
"He's strong, and so are you. You're also one of the bravest people I know. Don't let fear hold you back now."
"But I don't know what I should even be doing. Should I apply for a new command with the fleet? Or should I stay, and try to make a home here, now that Bron is leaving politics?"
Minmei shook her head, smiling. "Leaving politics? You should know better than that." Earlier on the trip, Minmei had taken Bron's news about his pending resignation without batting an eye, seeming almost uninterested. "The two of you will always find yourselves involved in causes. Didn't you just tell me you're going to be meeting with Konda when you get back? If the two of you don't find something, it will find you."
"I guess you might be right. I don't know how we get ourselves mixed up in these situations."
"Yes you do."
Vanessa found she could only blush, and looked away.
"Bron will have the picnic laid out. We shouldn't leave him waiting any longer."
"Thank you Minmei. I hope you find your new dream, too."
In answer, the singer wrapped Vanessa in a hug, kissed her cheek, and led the way back down the trail, humming as she went.
"I'm making the announcement the day after we get back."
Bron and Vanessa had pulled back the curtains and propped open all of the shutters of their beach house. The moon was waning, and the breaking waves covered all other night noises. The couple were intertwined on the oversized hammock, Bron in boxers, Vanessa wearing only a short, sheer nightgown, and the entire universe could have been empty except for the two of them.
"What will you do next?" Vanessa whispered next to his ear.
"I don't know yet. Something will come along. There's time to figure it out."
"But what about Mary?"
"She said not to worry. She's got a good education, good experience, good connections. It might be time for her to run for office herself, maybe. I'd endorse her."
He turned and put his forehead lightly against hers. "What are you going to do? Everyone knows the fleet is leaving next year. Rick and Lisa setting a wedding date is as good as an announcement of when the SDF-3 is launching." He hesitated, before adding, "You've earned command of one of those new ships."
"What would you think of me going back on deployment?" Vanessa asked cautiously. "Especially now that you're no longer in the government? There's still no guarantee of the timeline. It could be years more."
"Vee," he said, his tone gently chiding. "You never let me get away with that. I want to hear what you want to do."
"I'm not sure. I felt better-" She broke off, and swallowed, because it was difficult to open up about her doubts. She still couldn't bring herself to talk about everything, but Minmei was right. She had to stop ducking these conversations, and trust in Bron's love. "- I felt better, more sure of myself, in space." She felt him start to shrink in on himself, and quickly put a hand to his cheek. "No! Not because of you! You're the best part of my life. But I feel confused right now. I'm not happy with the way things are on Earth. It doesn't feel much like home. And I feel lost."
"'Cast adrift, in orbit?'" Bron quoted, sadly.
"Something like that. There are other possibilities. I'm still planning to see Konda when we get back to Monument. I know you haven't had much luck with him, but maybe together, we can talk some sense into him. And… I don't have to continue with the Expeditionary Force. I'm sure I could transfer to the Army of the Southern Cross. There'd be a position for me in the Tactical Armored Space Corps."
"The Earth-based fleet? Are you sure? You'd give up exploring the galaxy? And what about General Leonard? He's made no secret he doesn't like you, and I know you can't stand him. And all your closest friends in the fleet would leave without you."
"I don't want to leave you behind again," Vanessa said, her voice ragged with emotion. "Our reasons were good ones, last time, but now that I'm back, I don't know where I belong. I just know that I don't want to wait years to be with you again. To feel your arms around me. To-"
Bron pulled her back into his embrace and kissed her, softly, and thoroughly. Not, she knew, to silence her, as she had silenced him a few weeks ago, but to reassure her in a way that words could not.
"I want to be by your side too. But I know the Universe could always have other plans. I can accept whatever you decide to do, as long as you make the choice for the right reasons."
She clutched him more tightly. "Even if it's to go back to space? Back to war?"
"I'll never fight again. But I know that defending ourselves against the Masters might be necessary."
I don't want to just defend us. I want to punish them. But Vanessa's courage broke. She could not speak the truth aloud. Instead she laid her head against Bron's chest, feeling ashamed. He felt her tears on his bare skin, and ran his fingers through her hair.
"What's wrong?"
She didn't answer him. She couldn't trust her voice.I've always felt fear. But when did I become a coward?
"Vee." Bron's voice was warm and loving. "It's going to be alright. You always think you have to have all of the answers, but you don't. Just do your best. I'm here for you."
Her tears slowed, and he wiped them away. She sought out his fingers, and twined them with her own.
"Okay."
Next chapter… The Ministry, the hidden hand, and facing the crossroads...