JPOV

In the weeks that passed, my father, Sam, Sue and Emily discussed about how they could approach this situation with Bella with as much peace and calm as possible. They talked about who would talk to either her or Charlie and how they would go about doing it.

Emily, Quil, Sam and Seth had all tried either calling her or messaging her. She hadn't responded to any of them. Emily would have these panicked moments where she would completely break down, imagining Bella missing or dead, but my father would always try to reassure her that if anything happened to Bella, Charlie would call him. Even if he refused to call my dad, any news like that would quickly make its way to the reservation.

I wanted to help. I offered on multiple occasions to help with making phone calls or even driving down to her place. I knew I wasn't supposed to try and reach out to both Bella or Charlie, but I just needed to be sure that she was alright. Anytime I said anything, immediately that idea was squashed by Sam and my father. The only reaction I could get from Sue or Emily was a glare here and there. Eventually, they got tired of me listening and making my own comments and now would send me out of the room like a small child. I had managed to turn everyone against me. My friends had all but completely shut me out.

Seth on the other hand was always around during these conversations. He knew all of what was going on and the plans that they were coming up with. Either people didn't notice that Seth was able to hear them or they didn't care. When I would casually try and talk to him, he would brush me off or would walk away. One day I cornered him in Emily's kitchen when everyone was out of the house. I would never actually hurt Seth but i was desperate for a tiny bit of information.

"Tell me Seth! what are they planning? you must tell me NOW!" Seth tried to get around me and even tried to punch me, but I pinned him to the wall. "Now, Seth! Just please t-"

suddenly I felt a tug on the back of my shirt and heard a loud crash and before i knew it, my feet had left the ground. I flew backwards and i collided with the table and fell to the floor. I looked up and around, sore and confused as to what had just happened. I suddenly saw Sam standing over me while Seth was being helped up and taken out of the room by Emily.

"Stop it, Jake."

he grabbed me and lifted me up and steadied me. I tried to pull away but he held me by my shirt, stopping me from moving even an inch. "Never lay your hands on another person again, especially someone younger than you." He slowly released me and turned to walk out the door.

I decided that I needed to stand up for myself. This wasn't fair that I was kept out of the loop with everything. I deserved to know.

"i wasn't going to hurt him, Sam. You know that i wouldn't." Sam stopped walking. "I just wanted to help. She is MY friend! I need to kn-" Sam turned on the spot and glared at me, his dark eyes even more dark and cold than they usually were.

"You want to help..? How are you going to do that?!"

I froze. i had put all of my energy into figuring out how i could find out what their plan was, that i hadn't given much thought at what i could actually do. The only thing i had come up with was making another call. i didn't have an answer for him. I just shook my head and looked at the floor in defeat.

"Exactly, Jake. This whole problem was made because of YOU. You hurt your "best friend" and now you are turning on your own family. IF anything comes up that we need you for, we will let you know, but as of now... you have done enough damage." He glared at me again, then stomped out of the room.

That hurt.. it was true, this was all because of me. If I hadn't send any of the messages or voicemails, we wouldn't be in this situation... But, it also made me angry that no one would even take a second to see it from my point of view. I wasn't this monster that just goes around and enjoys hurting people for fun.. I had been hurt too. Yeah, I know it wasn't as big as I made it and it was nothing compared to what I had done to her, but why didn't anyone take that into consideration?! Didn't I have the right to be pissed off and embarrassed?!

My little inner voice of reason said, "Yeah, but you didn't have the right to go off on her like that." I sighed. Even my own brain was against me. I left the house and made my way home. Billy was at the kitchen table with a book and a sandwich. He glanced up as i entered but once he saw that it was me, he went back to reading his book. I slowed down, hoping for some sort of greeting, even a bit of acknowledgment that i was in the same room. Even an eyebrow raise would be something that I could live with.. but it never came. I had really disappointed my father. I hurried to my room and quietly closed the door. I went to sit on my bed and pushed myself to the wall where i leaned back, staring at the ceiling. I am such a fuck up.

The next few days were eerily quiet. Ever since the incident with Seth and Sam, I had kept to myself. I did chores, made meals and tried to do everything in my power to win a fraction of my father's respect back. I was sweeping the floor for the 3rd time that day when suddenly the front door was flung open as Seth barged into my house. I heard my dad swear from his room as he was startled. I stared at Seth in confusion.

Seth hurried into the living room area, looking around, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. He seemed surprised and uncomfortable, like he wasn't expecting me to be in my own house. I rolled my eyes but i still felt bad. Seth, the kid that used to follow me around and copy everything i did was now wary of me. He went from always smiling and laughing at my crazy jokes to hardly able to look at me. He was scared of me.

I knew I needed to apologize. My behavior was horrible and I should have never taken the stress from this whole mess that I caused out on my friends. I just didn't know how he would take the apology or if it was even worth it to try.

"Hey, Seth.." I said softly as I half smiled at him. He took a small step back, like a part of him wanted to run away from be but instead, he stared directly at me as if he was trying to silently challenge me. He puffed himself up and stared hard at me.

I put my hands up, trying to show that I meant no harm."I just wanted to apologize for the last time i saw you.. I had no right to put my hands on you like that..."

Seth nodded, looking uncomfortable. "Oh, Ok... I just really need to speak to your father, Jacob. Its important." He then turned and started to stare at my father's door, trying to avoid eye contact. now it was my turn to be confused again.

"whats going on, Seth." I started feeling uneasy, my heart starting to race. "Have you heard anything from anyone? Is Bella ok? Shes not hurt, is sh-?" That last sentence seemed to set him off. He whirled his head around and glared at me, his eyes just as dark as Sam's were that day.

"Jacob, STOP! Just stop... You don't get to talk about her like you still care for her! You don't get to act like she is still your friend! Thanks to you, she will never co-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" A loud raised voice exploded behind me.. I turned and saw my father finally slowly emerge from the other room. He looked tired and annoyed. In a calm manner he said, "Seth, you know that i do not tolerate yelling in my house. I know emotions are running high lately but please, don't break my rules."

Seth bowed his head, embarrassed. "I'm sorry sir... Can I talk to you?"

"Of course." Dad waved him over to the small living room. He turned and started to slowly wheel in that direction. Seth, hurried over and with one last glare at me, he helped my father into the living room and parked him next to the couch.

"Now what is it, son." My dad leaned forward and rested his arms on the arms of the wheelchair. My father knew how to talk to people. No matter what, he always made you feel like whatever you had to say was important and worth listening to. Seth took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together before he started to talk quickly.

"I've been listening to the adults and elders talking about this situation... I know that there wasn't really a plan and I swear I didn't want to mess anything up but... a couple of us went to see Bella.. We.. well, I just needed to know if she was alright.." He looked at my father like he was about to be scolded. My father's face didn't change. He simply nodded. I had no way of telling if he was angry that Seth or any of the other guys hadn't said anything prior to following through with their plan.

he took another deep breath and continued. " W-well, at first when I knocked, she didn't answer though i swore i could hear her slamming a door.. I was worried and i knocked for about 3 or 4 minutes before she answered. she - she was not well. she looked tired and her eyes had lost that small glint of happiness that she was slowly getting back. Her eyes were all red, and she somehow looked thinner than before..."

By this time, i had slowly and silently walked closer and was sitting on the arm of a different couch on the other side of the room. i didn't want Seth to get mad and stop speaking but i also felt i deserved to know how my best friend was doing. What I said was horrible, but best friends don't just stop caring about each other. She should know that. His description of her made me bow my head in shame.

Seth was talking again, his voice slowing starting to shake. "When i finally saw her in person, i just lost it. I know she probably never considered me a friend, but she was so kind to me.. she saw how upset i was and let me give her a hug.." I smiled sadly. Bella always gave the best hugs. She was shy and quiet, but she was willing to give a hug to whoever needed it.

i looked up and was surprised to see Seth glaring at me again. Out of habit, i glared back. What the fuck?! why was he so mad again? I raised my voice "whats your problem now, Seth? What did i possibly do now?!" He simply shook his head in disgust and looked back at my father. I stared at my dad, hoping he would tell Seth to knock it off or to stop provoking me, but he simply ignored me.. as usual.

"keep going.." Dad's tone sounded like he was slowly starting to lose patience but he never full on said anything. I know he probably wanted me to leave. He knew I was somehow provoking Seth by just sitting in the same room. But i wasn't going to leave until i heard everything that Seth had to say about Bella. I refused to leave.

Seth cleared his voice and continued. "Well, she invited me to come inside and sit down. When we did, i was still upset which I'm guessing worried her. She..." he let out a quiet single laugh "she actually asked me if we were all OK. She was still worried about all of us even after what happened..She's amazing.. Well, after i calmed down a bit, I brought up the situation and asked about the messages.. I told her that we only knew that there were inappropriate text messages that Jake sent, but that none of us knew what was actually said"

His tone changed. He was trying to calm himself down. I felt another wave of guilt crash into me.

"she yelled at me. She told me to stop talking. She told me that she had the worst day of her life because apparently she had just got all the messages that afternoon because he-"

"what?!" I couldn't keep silent anymore. I jumped to my feet, I couldn't believe it. "what do you mean, Seth? How is it possible that she only got the messages and voicemails that day?!" My head was spinning. I should have just disobeyed everyone and gone to see her. Maybe i could have told her to delete them.. Maybe all of this would have never happened... I suddenly felt a rise of anger at the thought that I could have probably prevented this... if I had just disobeyed.

"Well, Jacob, I was about to get to that part!" I got another dirty look from Seth before he turned back towards my dad and continued.

"She told me the one of the first messages Jacob sent her that she actually saw was that he needed time before he could talk to her.. Bella respected his wishes and didn't blow up his phone.." Seth turned and finally talked to me. "She said that she expected you to call or come over like you always did when you were ready.."

He turned back to Billy and continued. "Sh-she said that no one ever talked to or texted her on her cell besides Jake. So instead of staring at a phone all day that would most likely never ring, hoping Jake would text her, she turned it off and forgot about it.."

Seth was rocking back and forth now. he looked like he was going to have a panic attack. "for the last week though she said that she had a strong urge to check her phone. But again, she really thought that Jake" he gestured towards me "would just come over. once he realized he couldn't get a hold of her. Finally on Friday, she decided to turn her phone on. That's when she got all of the texts and voice mails.."

I felt my heart squeeze tightly, i felt like it was going to explode. My best friend was only doing what i asked.. I was such a fuck up. How could I have let this get so bad..?

Seth was talking again "She spent all afternoon reading and listen to the messages over and over again. She was broken." I moaned and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling, fighting the urge to cry.

"when i asked about the messages, she actually got her phone and showed me every message. She then accused me of being a spy for everyone.. she said 'tell everyone that Bella is broken.. that they got their wish..' i tried to tell her that if we had known what he was going to do, we would have stopped him... but she didn't believe me.."

his voice cracked and he looked at the floor. it sounded like he was crying. my father laid a hand on his shoulder but didn't say anything.

Seth looked up, his eyes streaming with tears. "She kicked me out of her house, Jacob... before she slammed the door in my face she begged me to tell you and everyone else on the reservation to leave her alone.. She said no calling, no texting, no emails, nothing. she said that we were no longer welcome there and that... she never wanted to see any of us again. "

Seth was trying to dry his eyes. He was obviously embarrassed that he was crying but it didn't look like he would be stopping any time soon. I was doing everything in my power to not let any tears fall myself. The whole room was silent.

It was my fathers turn to speak. "Its OK, son. Give her time. She is hurt. Maybe she will change her mind one day.. we can only hope..." More tears were sliding down Seth's face, he sniffled and looked at the ground, avoiding eye contact. " why don't you head home, Seth. Go get some rest and something to eat." Seth nodded before slowly walking towards the front door, leaving my dad and I in complete silence.

I just sat there, stunned. I needed to do something. I shook my head then got up and grabbed the keys to my dad's truck and headed towards the door..

"Jacob, don't do it. " He wheeled in front of me, blocking the door. "you do not need to make things worse."

I looked at him, furious. For a split second i thought about just pushing past him and running to the truck. He would be too slow to stop me. But again, i could never do that to him. no matter how upset he made me, i wouldn't disappoint him more than i already had.. without saying anything, i handed him the keys then I turned and stomped into my room wishing that fateful movie night never happened. I lay on my bed, thinking about all the things that had happened today and how I had probably broken my best friend's heart to the point of no return. I felt the tears escape from my eyes and I rolled over and sobbed into my pillow.