Chapter 9 - Accurate Name!
About half an hour later the weather had cleared up and the sun had apparently realized it had overslept and was now in the process of catching up on its backlog of sunshine.
Slub stepped off the bus at the 'Mangrove Hills'. He found the name… interesting. It was a big flat area with the occasional building and a whole lot of farmland divided by a long road. The immense flatness of the surrounding area made the 'Hills' part feel misleading. Also misleading was the distinct lack of any and all mangroves. There were trees and shrubs, sure, but none of them really fit the bill of 'salt-tolerant trees and shrubs in brackish waters.' Nevertheless, Slub knew he was in the right place, judging by the street signs, the bus stop, the map and just the general vibe. He started trekking toward a row of buildings that matched the map he'd seen on the web.
As he kept walking, an old memory came back for no reason in particular. Slub grew up in Mauville, a town where every single square centimeter of available space on any given building, wall or vehicle was smeared with Gym Leader Wattson's face. The electrician, turned gym leader, was bafflingly and slightly terrifyingly nicknamed 'The Cheerfully Electrifying Man' prompting imagery of some kind of electricity-themed Santa Claus carrying a car battery and jumper cables into a child's room. A mental image carried mostly by Slub, and probably not a single other person. Nevertheless, Slub knew Wattson had played a big part in renovating Mauville many years back, and that was the reason for his prestige status. While it was a neat fun fact to have a Haussman-esque character from one's home town, it did go a bit overboard, in his opinion. Slub's thoughts began slipping back to Mauville and that niggling doubt that he'd felt on and off for the past week. He figured now wasn't the time. He ought to take stock and think more on that later.
Slub had arrived. 'Antique Street' had several multi-storey brick buildings on both sides. Not a single person about, though.
Slub pondered, looking at the lack of any and all open shops or humans at all. The buildings all had flat featureless walls and closed, louvered shutters on the windows which weren't really a Hoenn thing, as far as Slub knew anyway, though his exploration of Hoenn mostly involved Mauville, which he barely remembered as it was, and a family trip to Pacifidlog Town back when he was a kid, which he also barely remembered. The air was thick with a slightly greasy, icky smell that he couldn't quite place. Overhead the sun was scorching and he was sweating quite profusely. That probably didn't help in the smell-department. He did a few spins, looking up and down the main road. Where was everyone…?
He looked up and shielded his face from the sun.
"Hmm… If the battle arena is outside that could help. It'll give Magmar a boost if nothing else."
The building with the number 9 on it was, according to the website, supposed to be the Mangrove Hills Gym. The sign was extremely sun bleached but Slub could make out the text. It had 'Mangrove Hills Salvage, Hardware & Supply' written on it.
"Obviously," Slub said, and felt the door handle, expecting it to be locked, but it not only opened, it made a ding, announcing his entry.
Slub stepped into the shop, greeted by rows of dusty shelves crammed with old analog phones, tangled wires, assorted electronics and the occasional vintage game console.
"Ah,yes. A Pokémon gym… obviously."
The scent of old plastic and circuitry filled the air, and dim light flickered from orange retro lampshades, casting shadows over mismatched bins overflowing with remote controls, circuit boards, and odd electronic gadgets.
"This cannot be the right place."
He stepped inside and looked around. The door closed automatically behind him. He felt like those people who explored old haunted buildings.
A stack of old TVs sat in the corner, while a retro arcade machine blinked near the back. The smell was that particular wall-to-wall retro smell that one can't quite place, but irrevocably smells of "old".
Despite the ding, nobody had come out to greet him. He couldn't really blame them. Slub took a few steps, then braced himself.
"Heeee-lo!? Challenger calling!?" Slub raised his voice slightly higher than he meant to, prompting a series of coughs. Although the dusty environment, or his semi-recent bout of carbon monoxide poisoning was probably also a factor. He looked around a bit. There was a cash register and a locked glass case of collectible trading cards with sky-high prices at one end and a few shelving units of both tapes and movies on disc along the wall. Still nothing that really screamed 'Pokémon Gym', though.
After a few more 'Hello?' and 'Hello!' and even a few interspersed 'anyone here?' he waited a few moments he was about to leave and try and find someone who could enlighten him as to the status of the gym. Just then as he considered giving up, he realized he could hear something. It sounded like a movie was playing somewhere in the back. Like the daredevil he was, Slub took a precarious step past an open, doorless, doorway that had a 'staff only' sign hanging, or rather, sagging beside it. Two men were sitting on a sofa. One had jogging shorts, a white tank top. and a massively big beard. The other had glasses, cargo shorts, an open carpenter shirt, and another shirt underneath with a deconstructed Poké Ball on it.
Both were simultaneously looking at their respective phones and the TV screen. The TV showed an old movie. The scene was that of a rather typical family father coming home to his wife and son.
"I'll admit the car scene is a tough sit, but it's gonna get really good," the one with the glasses said.
"Uhuh," the other said, disinterested.
"I don't mean to interrupt…" Slub said, startling the both of them into screamingly falling off the couch.
Slub let them have a moment to get their bearings.
"Wait, you're not the food," the bearded one said, finally looking at Slub.
"Not unless you're part of some cannibalistic cabal," Slub responded. "Please don't be, it's been an intense week already."
The spectacled man laughed. The other didn't.
"I'm Slub, I'm here to challenge the Mangrove Hills Gym, which I'm increasingly beginning to assume is not where I am right now."
"Why?" Asked the bearded one, having finally staggered back to his feet.
"Well it doesn't look much like a gym now does it," Slub said, his arms slightly raised so as to call attention to the dilapidated interior of what was obviously a retro electronics store.
"No, I mean why do you want to challenge the Mangrove Hills Gym?"
"Because I need the League Points for a taxi back to… You know what, that's not really important. Can you please just point me to the gym, I'll get out of your hair and you can get back to… "
Slub raised a pointing finger to the TV screen for a few seconds, becoming slightly distressed at the scene in play.
"... Back to whatever that is," he finished, refocusing on the bearded man. He looked slightly familiar but Slub couldn't place him. Slub assumed he'd seen his image online when he'd searched for Mangrove Hills. These guys probably represented half of the population anyway, judging by the utter deadness of the place.
"Leo, just tell'em," the glasses-wearing man said, and thankfully for everyone present, paused the movie making everyone a lot easier to hear, and also focus on. The bearded man, now helpfully named Leo, began to explain.
"This is the gym… Just… it's complicated."
"Ok," said Slub, ready to be indulged, wowed and amused, as broadcast by his nigh-perpetual flat and soulless expression.
"Every gym has a theme of some kind and there's not really a limit to how relevant that theme has to be to Pokémon training."
"Uhuh…" Slub nodded along.
"And there's a lot of lucrative stipends and whatnot that you can get from offering gym services."
"Ah," Slub took over. "So you turned your lightly used garbage store, no offense, into a gym… officially, whilst not really doing much gym… stuff? So you can reap free money and not really have to do anything."
"Right on," the man with the glasses said "The name is Vexington, by the way, the custodian of this humble boutique, anything at all catches your eye, let me know and I shall give you a good deal."
Slub raised an eyebrow at his exaggerated manner.
"Yes, hi, and thanks. I'll… uh… let you know."
"And this," Vexington continued, "is Leo White, our honorable Gym Leader of Mangrove Hills."
"Yeah, we need to talk about that name." Slub briefly interjected, but Vexington continued undeterred.
"Indeed we shall," he said, ignoring Slub's request for a clarification to the inaccurate nomenclature of the prefecture.
"Leo White is a master of the defensive Steel Type Pokémon, striking out with unflinching strength and speed, whilst…"
"Thank. You." Leo sighed with a sharpness indicating that he'd rather not hear any more, more so than a feeling of gratitude. He drummed the armrest of the sofa and looked at Slub.
"I'm not really feeling this today, maybe I can give you a rain check on the whole Gym battle thing."
He got off the couch and did a few steps in no direction in particular like someone not remembering why they entered a room, but not wanting to look stupid, they just kept turning until something caught their eye.
In the awkward silence that followed, a recent memory flashed in Slub's head. His own excuses and explanations for not wanting to do anything. He knew the feeling all too well. Everyone around him having these plans and expectations and he is just not feeling it, just wanting to crawl into his bed with headphones and be left alone.
However, Slub's outlook had changed and he felt so much better for it. It wasn't some magic fix that one could just flick a light switch to invoke, but maybe he could put a little pressure on this person to try and coax out a quick battle. And maybe even raise their spirits a little. It had worked on Slub, after all. Slub opted to do this in the absolutely worst possible way that anyone could ever conceive of.
"Heh," said Slub. "I wonder how the league authority feels about that."
"Oof, he's got you there," Vexington grinned.
White squeezed his hands into his own face. Then he raised a finger as if he had an idea.
"You know. That's not a problem at all. They sent me a bunch of badges. I can just give you one. It has the chip in it that they scan. It's literally all the evidence you need for entering the League. Heck, take a few extras and give them to your friends so they won't have to make the trip. You can all get your badges. It's aaaall good."
"I'm not entering the League, I need League Points." Slub retorted. "You can't fake those. You have to register it as a ranked battle with an umpire, which I assume is this clown…" Slub pointed back to Vexington who was smiling and waving in the background.
"And they'll know it if we fake it. It's all registered. If I don't beat you I don't get any LP and if Mr. Mime back there doesn't get the battle on record, then the League will know you've been playing hooky. I don't know the specifics but I assume the consequences could be… if nothing else… awkward?"
Slub let his speech sink in for a moment before continuing. Leo did not look particularly impressed.
Not getting a reply, Slub continued
"I'm sorry to say, but there's literally one way out of this. It involves a gym battle."
He noticed that he sounded like his own mother. There was a bit of Isla there as well. A terrifying concept. While not a good feeling at the best of times, he knew she'd had a point now so it couldn't be all bad to repeat her points. Leo replied with a consistent and well thought out argument consisting mainly of a long annoyed gurgling sound, a method Slub himself was quite familiar with.
"How do you, of all people, know all this stuff? You never raised your hand in class or did anything wrong. You were just a good boy who did your tasks and never made a fuss."
A long moment of silence followed as everyone stood staring at one another.
"What?" Said Slub, absolutely befuddled.
"Yeah, I'm with this guy and I shall repeat: What!?" Vexington was impressively loud when he needed to be.
"Back in Mauville. You were just… there. You would never have reminded the teacher he'd forgotten we were having a test, or that we hadn't been given any homework. You just sat there, back row in the corner. What happened? Why are you a Pokémon trainer slash League ruleset expert all of a sudden?"
"I repeat my previous statement," said Vexington, leaning forward over the sofa with eyes wide.
"Whuuuht?" he shakily expressed.
"Oh shoot," Slub had spent inordinate amounts of time and energy trying to repress everything that had happened to him between ages 3 to 21 and as such hadn't noticed that the person standing before him had not only lived in his hometown, but gone to school with him for seven years.
"Well this is awkward," said Slub.
"You're telling me," said Leo.
"Mr. Hatcher's class… That's like… three decades ago. Well, maybe not that much, but sure feels like it." A lot of bad memories came back to Slub in rapid succession.
"Screw Mr. Hatcher, I'm done with that. It doesn't matter. Don't worry about it. So anyway, like I said…"
Leo sounded like he wanted out of this conversation as soon as possible as he walked over to a workbench and tore the lid of a sealed plastic box. He stuck two fingers in and picked out what looked like a holographic blue, black and silver computer chip. He turned to Slub and offered it up.
Slub had a thought. He might have gone a bit overboard. Feigning threats about squealing to the League authority had worked when Isla did it to him, but he literally had no choice but to obey. What was he gonna do? He had no plans or ways out. Also, he had been a tiny bit curious about what she was up to. In this case Slub was just being, in his own words, a bit of a bastard.
"This is the Technomancer Badge, proof that you've defeated the gym. Nobody will ask any questions, they'll just scan it and let you through at Ever Grande City," White said to Slub who stood there, arms crossed. Silence befell the room for a few moments. Slub turned away.
"One more thing." Slub walked a bit aimlessly. "When I put that on my jacket and waltz around Sunnyville, what do you think all the other newbie trainers are gonna say? 'Where'd you get that?' 'Is it some special badge?' 'Where can I get one of those?' I can't hand them out for you. Everybody would know within the hour that there was some kind of scheme or plot or… I dunno what you'd call this; swindle? Going on."
Slub sat down on the sofa next to Vexington whilst Leo was still standing with the badge in hand. He regretted it. The sofa smelled like warm ass.
"I've seen a bunch of trainers with half a dozen badges on my trips around here. Trainers talk. They also talk about me. I read it on the internet. Still not sure how I feel about it, but that's not important."
Slub realized he was waffling and stopped talking to catch his breath. He looked to the side.
"What I'm saying is, doing handouts and mooching off the League isn't sustainable. You got a gym built on sand here. Wait what type did he specialize in again?" Slub suddenly asked in the direction of Vexington.
"Steel," he answered.
"Ah, Figy Berries, 'house built on sand' would've worked better if it were a Ground Type Gym… Never mind, my point still stands."
Leo plopped down on an office chair and looked tired.
"Why do you care so much? This is my problem! Do you need to follow the league rules so badly? When did you become such a stickler for the proper process?"
"I told you," said Slub. "I'm not doing this to get into the Pokémon League, I need the LP to get a flying taxi back to Mauville."
"Why?" Leo asked and leaned back in the office chair.
"I… need to get home. I… Look, it's a whole thing. I was… I was thrown out from home and shipped to Stab… Sunnyville to work at my Uncle's shop. I can't stand it. I need to get back."
"So what, you're this old and you want to live at your parents' house!?" Leo asked with a slightly mocking tone.
"As if lounging around here in your pajamas, faking being a gym leader to get free money off the Hoenn League is any better?"
Vexington had just gotten up. He took a step forward and very gently, in turn, put a hand on Slub and White's respective shoulders.
"All right, I think we all need to take a little breather here. Things are getting a bit aggressive and it's very bad for the vibe of the store."
Slub and Leo both looked at Vexington, seeing his point, even if they didn't like it. Taking a breather was probably a good idea.
Slub had a moment to think. As he had been relaying this extremely abridged version of his life for the past weeks he realized that he was just repeating talking points he had already had with Isla and Thaddeus and even some other strangers on the way. Their reactions were, albeit slightly sugar coated, not that different from what his old classmate Leo had just expressed.
There was, however, a niggling, scratching feeling in the back of his mind that kept appearing every time he said it. Every time he explained his plans the feeling got a little stronger, but he just couldn't place what or why. Slub disregarded the feeling every time, as he was wont to do, and turned his attention towards Leo who was staring blankly out a window.
"Consider this," Slub calmly posited. "If you give me a quick battle out back, if ever the league comes by and questions the voracity of your gym then you can say 'No there's no problem here. This guy named Slub was just around for a battle and won a badge. We're expecting more any day now.' and they'll move on. Right now you got… nothing to show for it. I saw you rip open a brand new box of badges just now. I'm guessing you haven't handed out a single one yet? Tell me I'm wrong."
Slub was happy with both presenting an actually pretty solid argument and to have managed to sneak in wanting the battle outside in the Sunny Day. Although now that he was inside, he realized there was no way they'd ever NOT have it outside, so that specific part of his clever ruse was somewhat for naught..
"Huh," Leo sighed. "That's a point, I guess..."
Vexington, who had briefly disappeared, reappeared suddenly holding a trainer's belt with six Poké Balls of varying types.
"Your Balls, my liege," Vexington said in the tone of a serf. "I'll go turn on the security system."
Vexington went into the store, turned the latch and flipped the sign to 'closed'.
"Right," Leo said, and grabbed the belt as he went by, heading out the back door.
"I guess we're doing this," he said and dragged a hand down his face and stretched his shoulders.
"Let's," said Slub and smiled.
Slub followed him into the backyard.