Chapter 30

Elena had gone back to the Council meeting and sat absent-mindedly in her chair. The politicking of Ferelden and Orlais as they tried to force Josephine's hand without Erik present frankly annoyed her. Clearly, there were more important things occurring. Why continue to meet and discuss potential futures, possible problems, and the like when the Inquisitor was not even present? Ultimately, the Inquisition was his to lead and as such his to decide what to do with. Elena, just like anyone remotely close to Erik, knew he would most likely end up disbanding the Inquisition at the end of all of this. So what was the point of all the talk?

Regardless, though, Erik still hadn't come back. She was growing restless. Where was he? She tried not to stare at his empty chair beside Josephine, but whenever she looked away she found her eyes inexorably drawn to meet Cullen's across the aisle. He would steadily hold her gaze for a few moments and then look back at the Council members. She wished she could lean her head on his shoulder, feel the wool of his coat, warmed by the heat of his body beneath her cheek–

She shook herself and focused on the Council. It was the same circular conversation droning on and on. Her eyes drifted from the Divine and back to Erik's empty chair. She couldn't fathom what he was possibly up to, but he had mentioned war as a distinct possibility… however vague he had tried to be the threat had been noticeably there. While she had been distracted for a time by the matters of her heart that day, she couldn't help but return to the thought of war. What if Erik returned with only more cryptic messages and vague warnings? What if he returned with news that he had failed? What if he didn't return and Josephine was finally forced into a decision? What would happen then? She felt her heart rate increase at every thought as they raced through her mind. Her breath caught. What if this kills him? She swallowed hard as tears thickened her throat and pricked at her eyes. She looked up at the ornately carved and splendidly gilded ceiling above her, fanning herself with one hand, and tried to pull herself back together before she came apart. He won't be. He's a highly skilled soldier. Plus, he's got Blackwall, and the Bull, and Dorian with him! He'll come back. She reassured herself as the threat of tears abated. She turned her eyes from the ceiling and, like clockwork, met Cullen's.

The honeyed depths of his warm, brown eyes were filled with concern. A question furrowed his brow. His scarred lips parted slightly as if he had been about to voice a thought. She offered him a small smile and he closed his mouth, but the questioning look remained and the concern did not leave his eyes. She turned back to the Council, keeping an eye on him from the side, and noticed he did the same. Elena let out a small disbelieving breath. How had she managed to find someone who was willing to forgive her after how she had treated him so poorly? And not only was he willing to forgive her, but he actually did! To top it off, he still loved her! Never once in the three years since she'd been sent back to Ostwick, had she truly dared to believe that forgiveness was even a possibility for her. Fabien knew from the start that this would happen. She reminded herself.

Immediately, she felt a rush of shame. Had she used Fabien? Well, certainly no more than he allowed her to. It was his idea, after all! He had known her heart didn't belong to him in a romantic sense, and it never would again. He had hurt her deeply when he left. He had helped her build dreams and hopes for her that included him. When he left, he took those with him. It had been a cruel blow. While she forgave him, and understood his choices, she could never have fully trusted him with her heart again. He had said he understood her position on loving him. He had accepted it. Still, though, Elena knew it had wounded him greatly when Elena had told him of the most recent development with Cullen. She had seen it cross his face. He was her oldest and best friend. He, like most men in her life, deserved better than she had given or could give. And yet, he hadn't even raised his voice at her when she broke his heart.

"Let us take a recess. We will return in five hours. Perhaps we are all hungry for dinner and will be more amenable when we return." The Divine announced, taking Elena from her thoughts, and pointedly looking at Josephine and the other Council members. She descended the raised dais and made her way out of the room. "I am sure none of us wish to be here all night. Ambassador Montiliyet, I am afraid we will have to insist on the Inquisitor's attendance after this. Otherwise, you will force our hand." She added as she passed Josephine.

"Yes. Of course, Your Holiness. I will make sure he receives the message." Josephine replied as she stood and bowed before leaving behind the Divine. The other Council members filed out of the room and then the rest of them were free to leave at their will.

Elena looked for Cullen, but he was no longer across from her. She filed out of her seat, trying not to be rude as she brushed past the loitering nobility. It was difficult. There were many people between her and the door, but she did eventually make her way to the grand entrance foyer. There was a gentle bustle and hum as the assembled peoples meandered about chatting quietly. She could feel it, however, just beneath the hum of voices… a tingling sense of ill ease. Her stomach knotted. Something was wrong. Again.

She made her way to the front of the room and stood to one side of the great double doorway, looking out on the grounds and terraced store rooms. She felt torn. To stay inside and watch and wait for someone to come by, or to go outside and search for people with information? She knew she ought to wait like everyone else, but something tugged at her heart, pulling her to the store room she had seen Erik and Dorian disappear into earlier. They had not returned, so obviously there was more to that storeroom than what met the eye. She struggled, pressing a hand against her heart as if feeling its beat against her hand would clue her into what it wanted. As if it would help her to reconcile the rational part of her mind that said to stay put and the emotional part of her that wanted to see her brother safe. If he was safe, then they would be safe.

Presently, she heard a commotion behind her. She turned to face the noise and saw Leiliana, Erik, and Josephine emerging from a set of descending stairs to the right. They all looked flustered. Leiliana, though outwardly cool, had a slight twitch in her eyebrow that wasn't normally there and her back seemed especially straight. Josephine was more visibly upset, hands twitching and wringing, eyes darting around. Erik looked exhausted and sick. His usually bright complexion was drained of most of its color causing his freckles to stand out starkly against his wan skin beneath his worried blue eyes. He had himself thrown slightly forward in his posture, making him seem like he was either in a hurry or pain… maybe even both. She swallowed hard. She had never seen him this way before.

She stepped forward, extending a hand towards him. "Erik?" She called, her voice floating gently over to him. He jerked his head up and caught her eyes. He didn't change his course, just shook his head and hurried past. "Erik?" She called again, a little louder and started after him. "Erik!" She tried again as he continued doggedly away from her. Dorian stepped out of a shadow and the pair of them were shortly joined by the Iron Bull and Blackwall just outside of the same storeroom. "Erik! Wait!" But it was too late, the storeroom door closed with finality on the four of them, leaving Elena standing a short way outside. This is most unusual. I don't like it.

XXXXXX

Elena sat on a bench outside, watching the storeroom door for any signs of movement or life. Not much had changed in the thirty five minutes she had been there except for the flow of people increasing in front of her as more and more political representatives made their way back towards the ballroom for the continuation of the hearing. The guard who stood outside the door seemed unconcerned and stoic, a truly good soldier.

"Lane! What are you doing out here?" Fabien asked, coming to a stop in front of her. She craned her neck back and looked up at him. He looked genuinely surprised to see her there, but underneath the surprise was a ripple of apprehension. Why was he so tense?

"I'm waiting for my brother." She replied simply, rubbing her arms and shoulders as a cool breeze blew by. "He's taking so long."

"He'll be gone for a while, I'm afraid." Fabien told her, running his hands through his dark hair. "You might want to go get dinner while it's still being served."

Elena glared at him. "No, thanks."

Fabien shrugged, "Suit yourself." He began to walk away.

"Fabien!" Elena called out and Fabien jerked to a halt, turning half way back to her. "Do you know what's going on?"

He shook his head, "I'm afraid I don't. Even if I did, I don't think I'd be at liberty to discuss it with you. Why don't you ask Cullen?"

"He's not here. You are."

Fabien rocked back on his feet indecisively. "I've been asked to switch off guard duty with Frakes over there." He pointed at the storeroom. "If I hear anything… I'll send for you second. Will that help you?"

Elena looked at him, her brow furrowing. "We've done it again."

"Done what again?"

"I've put you in an almost impossible position, and you unquestioningly found a way to help me." She shook her head, "I just broke your heart a few hours ago and here you are… still my knight in shining armor. Why?"

Fabien heaved a sigh and turned to face her fully. "Elena. I don't know how else to tell you this, but what I said that day in the harbor…. I meant it."

"The promise of children? That's why?"

"No. It's not a child's promise. We weren't even children, not really. Elena, I love you. There will never be another. I knew it from the moment you walked into the Circle. I take my oaths seriously. Don't shame me by calling it childish."

"I'm sorry. I took it seriously, too, but after you left…"

"I know. That is a mistake I regret daily. If I hadn't broken it off with you, who knows? I could be the one to actually marry you. As it is, though, I'll have to take what I'm given when I'm given it."

"I don't deserve you." She said, eyes welling with tears. "What'll I do when you're not around to rescue me?"

Fabien chuckled. "Elena, without me around, you will need far less rescuing." He stepped over to her and got down on one knee, looking earnestly into her eyes. "I am upset with you, yes. I am deeply hurt by your choice to leave our engagement behind." Elena started to say something, but he cut her off, "I know! I know that was the plan, but I still hoped you would decide to stay with me when the time came. It was a fool's hope, but it seems I am a fool. I love you. I will always love you. I cannot deny it, nor will I. Elena, as I said before, I am yours for all time if you'll have me. I will come when called or when needed and sometimes even when I'm not wanted. I cannot resist your pull. We are tied together. You will never be rid of me."

She sniffled, listening to this speech. "Is that a threat?" She asked jokingly, wiping at her eyes.

Fabien stood and gently put his thumb and forefinger under her chin, tilting her face to look up at him even as he bent at the waist. "It's a promise." He whispered and pressed a kiss to her forehead before leaving to take his place at the storeroom door.

XXXXXXXXX

Elena walked into the courtyard after finishing her dinner. She had finally decided to go and get it after spending some time watching Fabien stand guard, which had been abysmally boring. She had been hungry, so she had done something about it. It was probably the only thing she could actively control at this point anyway. She was musing over this when she heard a dog bark. She looked up to see Cullen working with his dog. Delight warmed her to her core. He looked relaxed and at ease as he attempted to train the silly animal. She loved seeing him with his eyes all liquid honey and a small smile pulling at his lips. His shoulders loose as he knelt down and petted the dog, rubbing his proffered belly.

"You there! You're to dodge, not catch. If that ball were a fireball, you'd be dead." He chastised as the dog got to his feet. The dog considered him for a moment before barking sharply at him as if to say Make me. They both looked over at her as she walked up.

Elena came to a stop a few feet away. "Have you named him, yet?" She asked, smoothing her skirt down a little shyly.

"I must admit when I found him, he had a name."

"What was it?"

Cullen grimaced and looked at the dog. "Beuford." The dog stared blankly at Cullen and wagged his tail, his tongue lolling gleefully out of his mouth.

Elena grimaced, too, "That's awful. Poor boy. Well, he seems happy now."

Cullen shook his head and scoffed, "Another Ferelden almost ruined by Orelesian customs. I couldn't leave him to that fate." He gave her a small smile, "Besides, I think he likes me."

Elena bent down and patted the dog's head. "I never expected you to have a pet, much less want one. How times have changed." She said, looking over her shoulder and meeting Cullen's warm brown eyes.

Her heart skipped a beat as he responded with a little laugh, "So they have." She stood up as he continued pensively, "The Inquisition will change after this. I'm not yet sure what that will mean. Still. I've found certainty in my life now; the Council won't change that." The dog rolled over again and Cullen obligingly gave his belly another rub, but his steady eyes never left hers. He stood, his posture filled with determination. "Marry me." He said it simply, softly, and it wasn't a question.

Elena was taken aback. "What?" She breathed, taken by complete surprise at this turn of events.

Cullen reached up for the back of his neck, dragging his hand forward, stumbling over his words, "I mean, will you…" He sighed. "I had a plan and… there wasn't a dog or Shaw or any of this. But you were… it doesn't matter. I've thought of little else since I saw you earlier… since we kissed… and I don't need a plan. Only to know if you would…if you could?" He looked at her hopefully, patiently waiting for her to answer.

Elena swallowed hard. This was what she had been waiting for. This was what she hoped for. She hadn't expected it to happen so soon or without her telling him of her broken engagement before it, but there it was. An invitation to marry him. She couldn't believe it. She clasped her hands together to keep them from shaking, "Cullen, I… I would." She took a step closer to him. "I can." She took another two steps so that she was standing directly in front of him. She placed her shaking hands on either side of his face, searching his eyes for any hint of uncertainty. This clearly was a spur of the moment decision to ask her here and now, and she wanted to make sure he wasn't going to change his mind. He watched her calmly, a glimmer of joy sparking in his eyes, but nothing else. "Cullen, I will." A grin flashed across his face and he crashed his mouth against hers in a fierce kiss. His arms wound around her waist and he lifted her, pressing her tightly against him. All the worries about what might happen, about Erik, about the outcome of the Council, about Fabien, all of them, vanished in his arms. She was actually going to marry him!

As they broke apart, he held her for a moment longer, looking down at her, a broad smile splitting his features in half. Though the sun was dipping lower and lower on the horizon, it was as if it were caught in his face and hair. He was so filled with warmth and love that it spilled out into her. She could feel it spilling out of her and into him as well. "You will." He breathed out, seemingly unable to believe it himself.

She nodded, "I will." And then he was showering her with a million little kisses all over her face and neck. She cringed happily under the outpouring of affection, submitting to it because she couldn't get her own kisses in edgewise. She giggled and leaned back against his arms, which only gripped her tighter, pinning her against him, forcing her to accept the love. "Cullen!" She chastised weakly, "People will talk seeing us like this."

"You're right." He said against her cheek before pulling back and separating them. He straightened his coat and helped fix her dress, settling ribbons back into place and the peasant sleeves along her shoulders expertly. "Luckily, we know a few people who can keep secrets."

"Maybe we should–"

"Commander!" A scout ran up to them, sliding to a halt, "My lady." He affected a short bow at Elena and turned back to Cullen. "The Inquisitor has returned. He needs a healer."

Elena's heart leapt into her throat even as her blood turned to ice water in her veins. "Find Healer Varmont." Cullen instructed, "He should be in the grand foyer. Where is the Inquisitor?"

"At the Eluvian." The scout replied.

"Very well. Dismissed." Cullen said. The scout darted off and Cullen gripped Elena's hand, tugging her after him, "I'm not bringing you. You'll have to return to the Council chambers." He told her as they ran towards the storeroom. "We've already gotten into enough trouble as it is." Fabien was nowhere to be seen, but there was a commotion inside the room. "Can you handle that?" His eyes searched her face. She swallowed and nodded her head. He gave her a brief kiss and opened the door. A wave of sound erupted at them, but Cullen closed the door behind him cutting it off. Her heart was pounding against her chest. She wanted nothing more than to follow him through it. Erik lay on the other side, hurt, possibly dying, and she had been asked to stay outside. She thought about ignoring the agreement. The patterns of her past battled with the patterns of her future. To open the door or not to open the door? To see Erik? Did she even want to see him in whatever state he was in right now? If he was as bad off as she believed, his survival was anything but certain. Could she actually handle that? And what if going into the room caused help to be delayed? And what if that delay in help caused him to die? Or what if it was really the reverse? Was it worth the risk? She shook herself. She was spiraling.

There was only one certain course of action. With a surge of will power, Elena turned away.

She walked into the Council chambers and took her seat, painfully aware of all the empty ones across from her.

XXXXXXXXX

It was some time later, Elena had sat through the resumption speeches, staring blankly and determinedly ahead at the Ferelden ambassador's hat. It was easier than watching the empty chairs. Of course, Erik's empty chair remained in her periphery. She sat stoically, keeping herself together even as she felt like she was about to erupt from her skin with the pent up worry. She listened as Josephine began speaking.

"I wish to address the Council as a whole for a moment before we resume our discussion of the Inquisition. Please, do not interrupt as it is quite lengthy what I have to say. If I may?" The Divine inclined her head. Josephine continued on. "The Inqusitor's absence has been noted many times during this hearing. While I was unable to provide you with all of the information throughout this time, I am now at liberty to do so. We have spent the time here during the Council discovering a nefarious Qunari plot to undermine and destroy everyone here. It began with the first interruption and each subsequent time the Inquisitor has left has only been to confirm more information. At this point, we have discovered, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Qunari seek to start war with Southern Thedas. They believe we are working with Solas, an agent Fen'Harel. As such, considering their hatred of all things magic, they find it grounds to begin a war. The Inquisitor is currently working to stop that war. Should he be successful, he will return and update you personally on the matter. Should he fail… We will need to begin preparations for war immediately."

The Council erupted. Elena lost track of the argument. Did he fail? He had returned, but the outcome of his mission was something she did not know. She turned her head and noticed Cullen and Leiliana slip into their seats. Hope stirred in her chest.

"We cannot lose the Inquisition now." An Orelsian ambassador was saying. "We stand on the brink of war with the Qunari."

"Yes!" A Ferelden ambassador snapped back, "Because this Solas provoked them in the first place!"

Josephine spoke quickly, her voice authoritative despite the slight tremor in it, "The Inquisition did not cause this threat. We informed the summit of the danger–"

"The danger posed by Qunari spies inside your organization!" The Ferelden ambassador cut her off.

"Without our organization, I doubt you would be alive to complain." The Divine cut in smoothly. From the back of the room, the door swung open and Erik marched purposefully through. His face, while pale, was the picture of angry determination. He looked well enough considering what all he had been through. In one hand he held a thick, leather-bound tome, and in the other–there was no other! She covered her mouth to hide her gasp of shock, but those closest to her shot her disapproving looks.

The Ferelden ambassador sighed heavily, "No one has forgotten what you have done. But Corypheus is three years dead."

The ambassadors thought for a moment, "If the Inquisition is to continue, it must do so as a legitimate organization, not a glorified mercenary band." The Orelsian ambassador said to Josephine. Erik came to a stop beside her. They exchanged a weighted look.

"Inquisitor?" She asked, her voice a little breathless at his sudden arrival.

He held the book up to the Council, "You all know what this is."He began, his strong voice ringing clearly through the now silent hall. "A writ from Divine Justinia authorizing the formation of the Inquisition." He spun around, showing the book to the rest of the gathered crowd. He remained facing them as he continued on, his voice growing in resonance and purpose, "We pledged to close the Breach, find those responsible, and restore order. With or without anyone's approval. We have fulfilled that pledge. And now the war is over, for most of us." He looked over at Cullen, "It is time for our soldiers to sheathe their swords and go home." He lowered the book and looked slowly around the room. "To all who served: Thank you. It has been an honor." He and Josephine bowed to each other as she took the book from him. "Effective immediately, the Inquisition is disbanded." He finished and without waiting for a single second, marched just as purposefully out of the room. Sweeping past the gasping onlookers with a single-minded intensity that Elena had rarely seen him demonstrate.

She stood and followed him as quickly as she could. She was lucky, most of the onlookers were still gasping and reacting to his final statement so she made quick time. Erik wasn't too far ahead of her, striding quickly away, outside. She picked up her skirts a little higher and hurried after him. He was moving quickly, he even picked up a run. She couldn't hope to catch him, but she kept him in sight. He ran towards the bar where she had drank wine and listened to Maryden. He ran past it and down some stairs she hadn't found before, being distracted by the wine and music.

He finally came to a stop, throwing himself against the white marble railing surrounding the small veranda at the base of the stairs. He was breathing heavily enough for her to see his shoulders rising and falling even from a distance. He looked up at the sky, which was beginning to be painted gold and let out a soul-shaking scream. It boiled up from inside of him and came tearing out of his throat with such an intensity that Elena stopped dead in her tracks at the base of the stairs. Then, he slumped forward, pressing his forehead to the stone, shoulders still shaking.

Carefully, she walked up behind him and gently touched his left shoulder before stepping up next to him.

He jerked and let out a small exclamation at her light touch. "Ashes! Lane! Don't sneak up on me like that." He scolded her gently, his sleeve twitched like he was trying to wrap his arm around her. Elena sighed and wrapped an arm around his waist instead, laying her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I must've scared you to death."

"Don't apologize. I'm just glad you're here now." She whispered, leaning against him. She felt his head tilt so his cheek was pressed against the top of her hair. He leaned some of his weight on her, too. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." He stated simply, a tone of voice that brokered no negotiation or further debate. "I don't."

"All right." They fell into silence, leaning on each other, watching the sun continue to dip lower. After a time, she spoke "Erik? There's something you should know."

"Is it about some type of catastrophe that I'll have to work to prevent?" He asked drily.

She giggled a little bit and stepped away from him to look at him better. His cornflower blue eyes were tired and there were new scars on his cheek and neck. HIs freckles still stood out starkly against his pale skin, but he didn't look to be in pain anymore. His breathing seemed to have settled back to normal, and the missing arm wasn't so bad as it originally appeared, but it would take some getting used to, especially for him. "No. I think it's good news. Would you like to hear it now or later?"

"Later, please. I don't think I can take another shock!" He took a deep breath in and rubbed his hand across his eyes, "But it's nice to hear you've got good news." He added, reaching out and patting her arm, "Gives me something to look forward to."

"You've got plenty to look forward to!" Dorian's voice came from behind them. They both whipped around to face him, "You're going to come to Tevinter and see all my favorite places in Minrathous as soon as we can get out of this gods' forsaken hell of a palace." He came to a stop and took Erik's hand, "It is far too long overdue."

Erik rolled his eyes, shaking his head, "We'll see. Let's focus on the 'getting the hell out of here' part first."

"I couldn't have said it better myself." Dorian's eyes slid over to Elena, "Well, how did you get here so quick? They practically mobbed in there."

Elena shrugged, "Magic."

Dorian and Erik chuckled. Elena stepped away from them so they could have some privacy and went to lean against the railing on the left side of the veranda. She couldn't hear them, but they seemed to be wrapped in conversation standing side by side, shoulders pushed together, heads leaned in conspiratorially. She sighed and looked away, it was nice to see Erik finally have a second to just be.

Slowly, the other members of Erik's team came, trickling down the stairs to stand with them and watch the sunset. Last to arrive was Cullen, who came and stood next to her, exchanging a look and a smile with Erik on the way. He slipped an arm around her waist and tugged her against his side, pressing a kiss into her hair as he did so. She smiled and leaned into his affectionate embrace, her heart growing full with the warmth of his love. It felt so good to be there, tucked into his arm. Everyone she cared about most in the world was within shouting distance and it felt right. For the first time in a long time, it seemed the world was back to normal.

Author's Note: Epilogue next!