ALTERNATES

"Have no fear, for I am here!" All Might posed while cameras clicked and the villains surrendered. As reporters rushed forward, loud booming laughter filled the area.

"Mwahahahahaha! Have fear, for I am here! All Blight! To spread disease so everybody buys my toilet paper!"

All Might groaned and facepalmed. The villain, with an inverted color scheme and identical physical build, looked affronted as he saw All Might.

"Not you again! How dare you imitate my dashing appearance."

"I was first!" All Might shouted back. "You only showed up five years ago!"

"From my perspective, you're the one that showed up five years ago!"

A beam of holy light fell from the heavens and blasted All Blight into the ground. A glowing, muscled figure clad in holy armor stomped forward, raising a blessed sword high.

"In the name of the lord, I, All Smite, deliver unto thee the lord's wrath!"

Shiozaki ran out and knelt before the holy figure. "I am ready for thine divine crusade. Deus Vult!"

"Please stop that. You're making my eyes water."

Another All Might-shaped figure, one composed entirely of eyeballs of all shapes, sizes, and colors, dabbed eyedrops into its many eyes. "I, All Sight, see everything." He peered out the screen, at the gorgeous, dashing extraplanar being witnessing this world of words and budget constraints through a glass pane. "Including you."

Another lookalike leapt into the fray with medical garb. "And I, All Right, shall make sure that everybody is okay!"

Behind him, another clone hit keys on a typewriter. All Write says hi. He is ghost writing for Bardothren because the usual author is busy watering grass.

High up above, another doppelganger called, "Can someone get I, All Kite, down from here? I need to pee."

The next clone made stretchy noises with every twitch of their comically muscular body. "I am All Tight! So massive are my muscles, mere clothing struggles to contain their awesome power!"

Cameras zoomed in on the tempting contours of his muscled posterior. All Tight preened under the attention until a fist slammed into his face.

"I'm All Fight! I fight everybody! Let's go!"

The plaza descended into an all-out brawl. All Blight spat Covid onto All Sight, who was unaffected because he didn't have any lungs. All Right punched All Smite, then applied ice to the swelling bruise.

"Fakes! Phonies! All of you!"

All the Might-alikes turned angrily. "Who said that?"

"It is I, the real All Might!"

A mirror image of the iconic hero stepped into the light. "I have the unparalleled power of probability! Anything that could happen, might happen! For example, a meteor might fall and crush somebody!"

Everyone looked up. The cloudless sky ostensibly lacked falling celestial objects.

"See? It might happen!"

Another All Might strode in, wearing white robes and a suspiciously pointy white head covering. "I am All White! And I-"

A meteor crushed him flat. All Might proudly stood over the smoldering crater and said, "I told you so!"

499

All Might: He's All Might, you're All Might, they're All Might, I'm All Might? Are there any other All Mights I should know about?

Izuku, morphed into All Might: meow

Also, there are four hundred of these and it's been a month shy of four years. Excuse me while I crumple into dust.