Its election time, which is linked to Until Dawn in my mind. So I'm going to post (and hope I finish in time) The Matt Timeloop.

I'm also going to give you tips for the election. You should vote. "Voting is like taking a bus. You are not going to get to the exact destination you want to go, but you will be a lot closer to it if you take one going in the direction you want to go in"- Paraphrased from South Park.

So have your ID in order. Your best bet is a government issued ID With your name and address on it. Usually a drivers license or photo there are other options. You can bring two pieces of ID, such as A library card, and your hydro bill, as that covers name and address. If you don't have a place of address you can have a letter written by landlord, soup kitchen, some place that knows you. If you have just moved into the country with a relative/ friend/ spouse as a Citizen recently and don't have any proof of ID with an address, they can vouch that you live in their home. Or know you live in the area. They will have to sign a declaration. Lying will cause fines.

If you need a quick piece of ID, I would recommend a Library card as it is easy to get fast and free.

Americans, If I were you I would be freaking out about the SAVE act.

Now on with the story.

I'm not very present right now. I don't think I can be. After all, I died. Or at least, I remember being kicked off a cliff by deer. Or moose? I can't really remember what killed me, only that they killed me.

But it can't have happened. I'm alive. I'm spacing out in the middle of the goddamn wilderness, but I am alive.

I didn't think I was the sort of person to contemplate my death. Sometimes I vaguely contemplate death by car accident, but never in the amount of detail that just happened. Or didn't happen. I'm not making sense. Or would it be, that I'm not making tense.

I'd tell it to Emily, but I don't think it would make her laugh. It doesn't make me laugh, even though it feels like something I should laugh at. But I'm just walking. My voice is protesting going to the radio tower, but I'm still going.

How can I tell her that I imagined being killed by deer if we go. That's stupid. There's a killer on the mountain, and here I am worried about getting killed by wildlife. I'll take my chances with the wildlife.

My body does not feel like it belongs to me. Like it won't do what I wanted, and I trip up on things I shouldn't. I'm slow, like I'm moving through water and fumble things.

I'm holding an ax. Oh god, why am I the one holding the weapon! That's the last thing I need.

"Emily! I need you to hold the ax!"

I don't even really hear her arguments, just keep begging her until she takes the ax out of my hands. She's mad at me, I know she's mad at me, but right now I'm stuck in my head, my least favorite place to be. My body moves. Through snow, through ice, through a herd of animals.

Maybe I should be having a panic attack or something, but I think I'm dissociating. I exist. I guess.

Technically. But that's all I'm really doing.

Maybe they killed me last time. Good. Worm.

I can't process. The only thing that connects me to this earth are my feet on the ground. And that's separated by boots and snow.

I consider taking my boots off and putting my foot in the snow, just to feel something. Except no, thats a stupid idea. I would regret that. Frostbite is bad Matt.

And then we are at the tower somehow, and I'm climbing, getting further and further away from the ground. I look down and think about falling. I try not to think about falling.

It feels like there's a string on me, a connection between me and the ground. If I could only translate it, I could tell you exactly how far off the ground I am. It feels like I could do it anywhere. But I am shit at conversion in reality, so all I can say for sure is that the ground is super far away.

It feels like the wind is blowing the tower around. That's ridiculous. It's high up, but It's not going to break from the weight of two young adults. That's stupid. It's stupid, but I am still afraid.

I wonder if I have discovered a fear of heights? I hope not, but I'm not present enough to make that decision.

Emily is panicking as she delivers the message. I wonder if she is afraid of heights too. Or maybe it's the killer.

I've been so busy worrying about the wildlife that I forgot about the killer. I feel like bursting into hysterical laughter. But that's not appropriate right now. Emily is trying to save our lives.

I'm not always happy about being stuck in my own head, but right now I feel like a shitty person.

Emily is trying to save everyone's lives, and here I am spacing out, and generally being useless worrying about deer, and the way the wind moves the tower.

Emily finishes her call. Which is good. It means we can get off this stupid tower, and go back to the lodge to sleep. And tomorrow I can apologize for making her do all the heavy lifting tonight, and try to make it up to her.

We just have to get down. But clearly, someone out there hates me.

Hey remember where I recced Until Dawn TT fics on the Emily one?

Check out New Game? By Riona on A03!