Starring
Patrick Troughton
Serinda Swan
Episode 1
(On a lovely golden beach, the breeze suddenly begins to change. Sounding heavier, and more like a groan, growing so loud as to overpower the gentle waves that are lapping the sand. Accompanying the sudden change, a blue police box steadily materialises on the dunes nearby. As if taking a few deep breaths, the box becomes solid, before a thudding sound brings an end to the strange breeze. The door to the box opens, and out steps the Doctor, with an eager grin. He claps his hands together, stepping out to make room for his friends. Behind him is the Princess, who takes hold of her top hat – frightened that the wind might blow it away. Following her is Jamie, in his traditional kilt, and then Victoria, who's donned a tartan skirt and matching beret.)
JAMIE: Where are we, Doctor?
DOCTOR: (Excited) We're by the seaside, that's where we are!
JAMIE: Aye, but where?
VICTORIA: Do you know, Princess?
PRINCESS: It's somewhere warm and relaxing. That's what we all wanted, wasn't it?
JAMIE: (Muttering) Aye, give it time.
VICTORIA: Yes, but I'd still like to know where precisely.
DOCTOR: Oh, stop fussing, you two. Come on!
(The Doctor sets off running down the beach and towards the sea.)
PRINCESS: Hold my hat will you, Victoria?
VICTORIA: Whatever for?
PRINCESS: Well, I don't want it getting wet, do I?
(The Princess hands Victoria her top hat and then sets off running towards the sea after the Doctor. Although the Doctor has suddenly stopped.)
DOCTOR: (Calling back) See if there's any buckets and spades in the Tardis!
PRINCESS: But don't leave my hat in there!
(And with that the Doctor continues on running with the Princess, even going as far as to click his heels together in excitement. However, rather than return to the Tardis, Jamie and Victoria grudgingly follow their companions towards the beach, but at a much slower pace. Now by the sea, the Doctor begins removing his clothes hurriedly, until he has only a vest and a pair of long-johns on. The Princess only removes her knee length leather boots, revealing the rest of her fishnet stockings that run down to the toe. The Doctor and Princess then discard the clothes they have removed and race into the sea. They give each other a few playful splashes and laugh, while on the beach, Jamie and Victoria watch them.)
DOCTOR: (To Jamie & Victoria) Come on in, the water's lovely! You don't know what you're missing!
VICTORIA: You'll both catch your death!
(But neither leave the water. In fact, the Doctor runs further out, jumping through the water until a sudden wave knocks him down. The Princess laughs, and so does Jamie from the beach. But then, suddenly, the wave seems to rise back up, doubling in hight. The Princess tries to back up, but the wave comes quickly, dragging her into the water and into the darkness. Yet, instead of finding herself under the surface of the water, the Princess finds herself in a dark and hot cave.)
PRINCESS: Oh, not this again.
VOICES: (Echoing) Help us. Help us. Help us. Help us.
(The voices gradually become louder and louder, until the cave begins to shake like an Earthquake. Rocks then begin to fall, threatening to crush the Princess as she holds onto her head for protection. When she then looks up, she finds herself in some sort of control room, with people all around her wearing uniforms and working. None of them notice her. Then a doorway opens, and in steps…a man identical to the Doctor, with a nasty smirk. Beside him is a stoic woman. She has shoulder length red hair and is dressed fancily. The two seem to see the Princess, and the one who looks like the Doctor begins to laugh maniacally.)
DOCTOR: Princess.
(The Princess blinks and is back on the beach in the sea. She is stood up, the water only reaching up to her ankles and is otherwise dry. Beside her, however, is a soaking wet Doctor, with a concerned expression on his face.)
DOCTOR: Are you all right?
PRINCESS: I…I just had a premonition.
DOCTOR: Did you mean to?
PRINCESS: No, but I at least remember it. Someone needs our help.
DOCTOR: Who are they?
PRINCESS: I don't know.
DOCTOR: Do you know where they are, what's wrong?
PRINCESS: No, I don't know any of that. Only that they were in some sort of control room and there were these two people there. (The Princess suddenly looks down at her feet, partially beneath the water) Oh!
DOCTOR: What is it?
PRINCESS: My fishnets haven't caught anything.
(The Princess pouts.)
DOCTOR: I wouldn't imagine they would in these waters. Come on, let's join Victoria and Jamie. Clearly they aren't going to come in.
(The Doctor and Princess walk back through the sea and onto the warm sandy beach where they left their clothes. Once there, the Princess picks up her boots and walks over to Victoria and Jamie. The Doctor remains however, befuddled by his nice dry clothes and his own damp and dripping body.)
PRINCESS: May I have my hat, please?
(Victoria holds out the Princess' hat. But rather than take it, the Princess reaches in and pulls a towel out from within it. She dries her own feet before throwing the towel back to the Doctor, who then begins to dry himself surprisingly quickly. The Princess then pulls on her boots and then returns her top hat to her head. Shortly after, the Doctor comes jogging over, completely dry and back in his usual crumpled up shirt, baggy trousers and coat.)
DOCTOR: Oh, there's nothing like a dip to freshen you up!
JAMIE: (Pointing) Hey, that's a funny looking boat.
(All look to see a hovercraft is making its way towards them from some distance down the coast.)
DOCTOR: That's not a boat, it's a hovercraft.
JAMIE: Eh?
DOCTOR: A hovercraft. It floats on the air instead of the sea.
JAMIE: (Chuckling) Oh, yes? Yeah, I'm too old for fairy tales.
DOCTOR: No, it's true, Jamie.
(Victoria notices an anxious and concerned look on the Princess' face.)
VICTORIA: Princess, what is it?
PRINCESS: We should go.
VICTORIA: What do you mean?
PRINCESS: Whoever's driving that thing, they're not friendly.
JAMIE: Och, how could you possibly–
(A gun shot rings, as the Princess' top hat falls from her head, with the time travellers all jump in fright. The hovercraft continues on its way towards them, with two armed men leaning on either side with guns.)
PRINCESS: That's how!
DOCTOR: Run!
(The Doctor grabs Victoria's hand and pulls her along as they race towards the dunes. The Princess only just manages to pick up her top hat, as Jamie grabs her hand and pulls her along.)
JAMIE: Doctor, the Tardis is this way!
DOCTOR: Too exposed! Get to cover!
VICTORIA: Come on!
(The time travellers race towards the grass and sandy dunes, with the Princess pulling her top hat back on and holding it there, as gun shots continue to ring out around them. Thankfully, none of them are hit as they race up and over the dunes. They keep running for a moment, going over and around dunes before they drop down behind one, all lying flat on their stomachs. However, noticing that the Princess' hat is giving them away, Jamie knocks it off.)
PRINCESS: Would people stop knocking my hat off, please!
JAMIE: It's giving us away.
DOCTOR: Is everyone all right?
VICTORIA: I think so.
PRINCESS: (Tenderly touching her hat) Look at that. They grazed my hat.
DOCTOR: Be grateful it wasn't your head.
PRINCESS: I think I'd rather that than my hat.
VICTORIA: Don't say things like that, Princess, please.
JAMIE: Och, if only we had a gun, we could fight back.
VICTORIA: But why are they attacking us to begin with?
PRINCESS: It's probably the Doctor's fault.
DOCTOR: How so?
PRINCESS: Well…it usually is.
DOCTOR: I resent that.
VICTORIA: Stop it you two.
JAMIE: Hey, look, they've stopped.
(The hovercraft has come to a stop near the edge of the dunes, as the men onboard exist – three in total, each armed with a handgun.)
DOCTOR: Now's our chance. If we stay low, we might be able to sneak back to the Tardis.
PRINCESS: But we can't leave yet.
VICTORIA: Why not, Princess?
DOCTOR: We're not going to there to leave, but for sanctuary, now come on.
(Getting up and staying low, the time travellers make their way down the dune – the Princess even refrains from putting her top hat on, instead holding it by the rim in her hand. From there they move around the dunes as to avoid sticking out. They make it a few meters before–)
JAMIE: (Hissing) Stop!
(The time travellers stop, pressing themselves against the dune. A moment later, one of the armed men appears on top of the dune, looking across the land. He doesn't see the time travellers beneath him. Jamie then slowly rises to a crouched position, readying himself. When the man takes a step closer–)
JAMIE: Creag an tuire!
(Jamie jumps up and punches the man across the face, knocking him out.)
VICTORIA: Oh, well done!
(Then, the distant buzz of a helicopter approaching.)
DOCTOR: What's that?
PRINCESS: That's for us. Come on!
(Gun shots ring out once more, as the other two men race across the dunes towards the time travellers.)
JAMIE: They've seen us!
PRINCESS: I'm not surprised, now come on!
(The Princess, donning her top hat once more, leads the way as the time travellers race across the dunes towards where the helicopter is landing.)
JAMIE: What is it, Princess?
PRINCESS: Not now, Jamie!
(From out of the helicopter steps a woman – Astrid.)
ASTRID: Over here! Run!
DOCTOR: We are!
(Astrid climbs back inside the small helicopter, which only has three seats. Getting there first, the Princess and Jamie each take a seat, with Astrid in the middle, the controls in hand. The Doctor and Victoria follow, with the Doctor helping Victoria in first. He helps squish her in, sat on top of Jamie, before running around to the other side. Once there, he squishes himself in on top of the Princess. All aboard, Astrid begins to lift off. As she does, the two men on the ground continue to fire at the rising helicopter, until finally, it's out of range. At this point the time travellers would have relaxed – that was if they weren't all uncomfortably squished in. Furthermore, Victoria is clinging to Jamie quite tightly, nearly choking him, for fear of falling. The Doctor on the other hand, is forced to lean forward – as the Princess is leaning forward as to make room for the top hat, still on her head – which means his face is right up against the glass.)
DOCTOR: (Uncomfortable) A very timely…and welcome rescue. Thank you.
ASTRID: Don't speak to me for a moment, please.
(The Doctor pulls a face, before then noticing a piece of laminated paperwork that's stuck on the screen in front of him. It reads, 'Australasian Zone. Type: Helicopter, (Private). Valid until: 31st Dec 2018. Class Reg: No. L23X.' Jamie, meanwhile, is prying off Victoria's arm from around his neck, just enough so he can speak.)
JAMIE: But what is this thing, Doctor?
DOCTOR: It's a helicopter, Jamie.
JAMIE: Huh?
PRINCESS: A helicopter, or a whirly bird.
JAMIE: (To Victoria) The Princess say's it's a bird.
DOCTOR: No, no, no. It's a primitive form of flying machine.
VICTORIA: Well, at least we're safe now, aren't we?
PRINCESS: Of course we are.
ASTRID: Depends on what you mean by been safe. They've shot a hole in the fuel tank. We might blow up any minute.
DOCTOR: Shouldn't you land then?
ASTRID: Don't worry, we're almost there.
(The time travellers all wait anxiously, as Astrid pilots the helicopter.)
(A short while later – during which the helicopter did not explode, thankfully – Astrid begins to descend, bringing them down towards a field with a lone single-story building in it.
ASTRID: Here we go.
(Victoria holds on extra tight to Jamie. Astrid then carefully lands the helicopter near the bungalow. With the helicopter down, the Doctor practically rolls out of the Princess' lap and outside onto his backside. Victoria nervously climbs out, before hurrying away from the helicopter. The Princess waits for the Doctor to get up then climbs out herself, holding onto her hat so that it doesn't blow away. On the other side, Jamie hopes out. Astrid, however, exists clutching her arm. An arm that is stained in red.)
DOCTOR: Wait. You're hurt.
ASTRID: It's nothing. We're lucky to be still alive.
VICTORIA: Let us help you. It's the least we can do after–
DOCTOR: Yes, Victoria's right. Let's get inside. This is your property, I take it.
ASTRID: Yes, the door's open.
PRINCESS: Oh, you should always lock your doors.
ASTRID: I did leave in rather a hurry.
(Astrid, clutching her arm leads the time travellers towards the bungalow. However, before reaching the door, Jamie nips ahead of her and opens it for her. They all then step into a spacious living room.)
DOCTOR: Take a seat.
ASTRID: I'm all right.
DOCTOR: You're not, and please don't argue.
(The Doctor and Jamie help Astrid remove her jacket.)
DOCTOR: Victoria, bring some warm water, will you?
VICTORIA: Where's the kitchen?
ASTRID: Through the arch.
(Victoria heads through the archway to the kitchen.)
ASTRID: There's a medical kit in the bathroom, (Points) through there.
DOCTOR: Go and fetch it, will you, Princess?
(The Princess heads into the bathroom to get the kit.)
DOCTOR: Come and sit down.
(The Doctor and Jamie lead Astrid over, sitting her down on one end of the sofa. The Doctor and Jamie then both go to sit down next to her, bumping into one another. They both jump back up, before the Doctor shoos Jamie away. Jamie huffs, as the Doctor sits himself down next to Astrid. The Doctor then inspects a tear in the arm of Astrid's shirt, allowing him a better view of the wound.)
ASTRID: It's nothing. It's just a scratch.
DOCTOR: We'll see. Oh, yes.
ASTRID: Who are you?
DOCTOR: You mean you don't know?
ASTRID: No, why should I?
DOCTOR: Well, you went to such a great deal of trouble to save us.
JAMIE: Aye, and thank you for that. I don't know what we would have done had you not–
(The Princess emerges from the bathroom with the medical kit in hand.)
PRINCESS: Tadda!
DOCTOR: Oh, well done, Princess, thank you.
(The Princess hands the Doctor the medical kit. He then opens it and begins rummaging through its contents.)
ASTRID: Do you know how to use those things?
PRINCESS: No, I don't. But the Doctor does.
VICTORIA: (Calling) Jamie!
(Jamie heads through to the kitchen to help Victoria.)
ASTRID: (To Doctor) Oh, you're a doctor?
DOCTOR: Well, not of any medical significance.
ASTRID: Doctor of law? Philosophy?
DOCTOR: Which law? Whose philosophies, eh?
ASTRID: Oh, I see. You're determined to be mysterious.
PRINCESS: That's right. He's Doctor Who.
DOCTOR: Am I?
PRINCESS: Of course you are. And I'm the Princess.
ASTRID: A princess?
DOCTOR: (To self) Septic spray. That should be right.
(The Doctor cleans his hands.)
ASTRID: A genuine princess?
PRINCESS: What makes one genuine?
ASTRID: Well, are you related to one of the royal families?
PRINCESS: Yes, I am.
ASTRID: So, Princess Who then?
PRINCESS: That's right.
ASTRID: (Dryly) I see.
(The Doctor takes out a piece of cotton.)
DOCTOR: Well, now you know our names. Why don't you tell us yours?
ASTRID: Astrid Ferrier.
PRINCESS: Astrid! Aw, I love that name!
(Victoria returns with a bowel of hot water on a tray, and Jamie behind her. Victoria sets the tray down on the coffee table before the Doctor and Astrid.)
DOCTOR: Well, Miss Ferrier, this is Victoria, and this is Jamie.
(The Doctor then dips the cotton in the hot water.)
DOCTOR: Now, this won't take a minute. I just want to clean it off. Be as gentle as I can.
(The Doctor begins using the damp cotton to clean away the blood on Astrid's arm.)
DOCTOR: There we are… Who are these men? Why are they so determined to kill us?
PRINCESS: And why'd they shoot my hat?
ASTRID: Because they're terrible shots apparently. They wouldn't have been aiming for your hat, dear, but rather him. (Nods to Doctor) They hate him.
DOCTOR: Me? I'm the nicest possible person.
ASTRID: Or at least I should say, they hate the person that they think you are. Passionately and completely.
(Finished with the cotton wool, the Doctor discards it in the bowl of water.)
VICTORIA: Can't we tell them they've made a mistake?
ASTRID: There wouldn't be time.
(The Doctor takes a plaster from the medical kit and puts it on Astrid's injured arm.)
DOCTOR: They seem remarkably dedicated.
ASTRID: They are.
(The Doctor finishes putting on the plaster.)
DOCTOR: There. Tell me, Miss Ferrier, do you hate me?
ASTRID: Far from it. To me you're the most wonderful and marvellous man that's ever dropped out of the skies.
PRINCESS: I can second that.
(The Doctor smiles gratefully.)
DOCTOR: Oh, thank you, Princess.
ASTRID: Will you do something for me?
DOCTOR: Well–
ASTRID: It'll probably cost you your life. (The Doctor loses his smile) Oh, but it would be worth it.
DOCTOR: Oh, that's–that's comforting, anyway. What is it that you want me to do?
ASTRID: Let me take you to the man I work for, Giles Kent. He'll explain everything you want to know.
(The Doctor thinks for a moment…)
DOCTOR: I don't think so, Miss Ferrier. No, I'm sorry.
(The Doctor stands up. Astrid then does the same, to which Jamie hurries forward to help her put her jacket back on.)
JAMIE: Can we not just listen, Doctor? There's no harm in that.
DOCTOR: There's a great deal of harm in it. You don't suppose Miss Ferrier saved our skins for our sakes, do you?
PRINCESS: Why are you and those men interested in the Doctor?
ASTRID: Your friend resembles, very closely, a man who's determined to be dictator of the world. A man who will stop at nothing.
VICTORIA: A dictator? Like Napoleon?
PRINCESS: (To Astrid) Who is he?
ASTRID: Salamander.
DOCTOR: Salamander?
ASTRID: I know it's surprising. Let me take you to Giles Kent.
(From outside, the noise of an engine can be heard getting closer.)
VICTORIA: What's that noise?
(Jamie hurries to the window.)
JAMIE: It's that machine again.
DOCTOR: They've found us.
ASTRID: The back door! Hurry!
(The time travellers go to run, but hear the back door being kicked in.)
DOCTOR: It's too late!
PRINCESS: Bathroom!
(The Princess opens the door to the bathroom and the time travellers all bundle inside, while Astrid takes cover behind the sofa. One of the armed men comes in from the kitchen, surveying the room with his pistol. He finds Astrid with ease, aiming his gun at her.)
MAN: (To Astrid) Where is he?
(The Princess pokes her head out the bathroom door.)
PRINCESS: Hello again.
(The man jumps around, but before he can do anything else, Astrid grabs him from behind and flips him over towards the window.)
ASTRID: Run for it!
DOCTOR: Come on!
(The Doctor, Victoria and Princess run to the kitchen and out the back door. A few shots are fired, giving them pause. Then both Jamie and Astrid come running out. All together, they race across the back field. A shot is fired from behind, but before another can follow it, the group reach the end of the field and take cover in a ditch.)
ASTRID: Where are they?
VICTORIA: (Pointing) There.
JAMIE: They're going for that whirly bird of yours.
PRINCESS: No. No, you mustn't!
(The Princess stands up, only to be pulled down by Jamie and Astrid.)
JAMIE: Princess!
PRINCESS: It's going to explode, leave it!
(But the two men either can't hear or ignore her as they board the helicopter. Within seconds they're taking off. However, they're only airborne for mere moments, before the helicopter explodes. Down below, the time travellers and Astrid shield their ears and eyes. Upon hearing the crash of the wreckage in the next field, they lift their heads and look.)
VICTORIA: Those poor people.
ASTRID: They were trying to kill us.
PRINCESS: That doesn't mean they had to die.
(Later, in a high story office, an older man with thinning hair short grey hair – Kent – is stood before the Doctor. Behind the Doctor, by the wall, stand the Princess, Victoria and Jamie, while Astrid is stood by Kent.)
KENT: Incredible.
(Kent walks around the Doctor, looking him up and down.)
KENT: Absolutely incredible.
DOCTOR: I'm not a specimen in a glass bowl, you know.
KENT: I'm sorry. Do sit down.
DOCTOR: Oh, thank you.
(The Doctor takes a seat and Kent stands before him.)
KENT: It's just so astonishing. You are Salamander?
ASTRID: You see what I mean?
KENT: But surely you know how alike you are? After all, Salamander is a world figure.
(The Princess, Victoria and Jamie move to stand around the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: Well, my friends and I, we've been out of touch with civilisation for a little while.
PRINCESS: That's right, we were just stopping in for a fun day at the beach, weren't we?
VICTORIA: It was certainly a pleasant change after where we've been recently.
JAMIE: (Dryly) Though not quite as relaxing as we were promised.
PRINCESS: (Giggling) Sorry about that.
KENT: I see… Well, where shall I start?
DOCTOR: At the beginning, please. We've been subjected to a number of attacks because I look like this Salamander of yours.
KENT: I'm not surprised. I'll show you why.
(Kent goes behind a large desk, with an equally large computer on it, typing in a command.)
KENT: I have a video of Salamander addressing the United Zones Conference on World Food. Take a look.
(The screen on the wall turns on, showing the United Zones General Assembly building.)
REPORTER: And meanwhile, over at the United Zones General Assembly. From all over the world delegates are flocking in, eager to hear the latest report from Leader Salamander.
(The screen then changes to large room, showing many people sat around a man who stands at a podium. This man is identical to the Doctor. Except for his neat hair, his fine clothes and his distinct Mexican accent.)
SALAMANDER: (From screen) The progress, Mr President, of the Sun Conservation establishment at Kanowa, in the Australasian Zone, is, I'm delighted to report, highly satisfactory.
JAMIE: (To Doctor) He looks just like you!
PRINCESS: Who does?
VICTORIA: The man on the screen, of course.
PRINCESS: What, him?
JAMIE & VICTORIA: Yes!
PRINCESS: He doesn't look anything like–
DOCTOR: Shhh!
SALAMANDER: But we cannot yet guarantee good summer holidays for all. However, we have now in orbit, the Mark Seven Sun Catcher. And already we have been able to concentrate the sun's rays into much needed areas. The great Canadian wheat plains are safe. And now, Mr President, Ukraine, the grain field of the planet. That unfortunate area between Poltava and Kirovograd, devastated by the elements two short years ago. What have I to say to you about that? I can tell you that on both banks of the Dnieper River the corn is ripening in the sun! And ten-thousand robot harvesters are moving down to gather in fifty million tons of flour!
(Applause from the room, at which point Kent switches off the screen. Even so, the Princess continues to stare hard at the screen.)
VICTORIA: There's nothing there to say he's a bad man.
DOCTOR: I quite agree, Victoria. He seems to be a public benefactor. Quite a speaker too, and remarkably handsome, didn't you think so, Jamie?
VICTORIA: Are you all right, Princess?
PRINCESS: I recognise that man, Salamander.
JAMIE: Of course you do, he looks exactly like the Doctor.
PRINCESS: Stop saying that, he does not.
DOCTOR: I'm afraid you're the only one who thinks that, Princess.
KENT: Salamander is one of the most popular men on the planet. Many people call him the shopkeeper of the world. The saviour, in fact, some of them.
JAMIE: Well, what's he saved the world from?
ASTRID: Starvation. Too many people, too little food.
KENT: Until Salamander invented his Sun Store. But surely you've heard? You must know?
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, well of course, we've heard something.
KENT: The Sun Store collects the rays from the sun and stores them in concentrated form.
JAMIE: Oh, like the ioniser, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Yes, a rather different principle, I think, Jamie, but–
VICTORIA: Well, never mind how it works. What's it for?
KENT: Salamander can force-grow three, sometimes four, crops in one summer.
JAMIE: Well, why do these men want to kill him? I mean, one minute you say he's saving the world, the next–
KENT: For his own ends. Step by step, he's taking control of this planet.
PRINCESS: He's right. I don't know about the taking over the world bit, but Salamander is up to something.
DOCTOR: Your premonition?
(The Princess nods. The Doctor thinks for a moment. Then he stands up and approaches Kent's desk.)
DOCTOR: You have proof of this?
KENT: Some, yes. I was once a high official in the World Zone Authority. Deputy Security Leader for North Africa and Europe, but Salamander discredited and ruined me. Because he realised I was beginning to get suspicious.
DOCTOR: But you could be making up stories about Salamander, out of revenge.
KENT: Your friend doesn't think so.
PRINCESS: I said I thought Salamander was up to something. I never said I believed what you said, however.
(Kent grimaces for a moment. He then presses a few buttons on his computer. The screen in the wall comes back to life, showing a picture of a middle aged man with dark hair.)
KENT: You remember Michael Assevski? He was Controller of the Eastern European Zone. He was drowned at sea a mile from shore.
(Another picture, this one of a man trying to block the camera with his hand.)
KENT: Hockingham, murdered. All of them were seen with Salamander, or a man known as his deputy, shortly before their deaths.
(The screen turns off.)
ASTRID: All of them were replaced by men known to be in Salamander's power.
DOCTOR: Known by who?
KENT: By me, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Well, why don't you tell the authorities, the police or whatever?
KENT: Because I'm discredited, don't you see? Because Salamander is so popular, and also because the man that took my place, a man named Donald Bruce, has since risen to become overall Security Chief.
DOCTOR: Surely there is someone you can take your story to?
KENT: Oh, yes. Elvick believed me. So did Assevski, and they're dead. However, there is one other man. A man named Alexander Denes, but none of them will do anything until it's too late.
VICTORIA: I'm surprised. Well, if Salamander is everything you say he is, then why hasn't he tried to–
KENT: Dispose of me?
VICTORIA: Yes.
KENT: Well, he has, but he's afraid. You see, the testimony of a dead man still holds legal weight.
DOCTOR: Oh, I see. Well, it seems we have a problem on our hands whether to believe Mr Kent or not.
KENT: Well, there is one way that you can find out for yourselves.
DOCTOR: Oh, how?
ASTRID: Impersonate Salamander.
DOCTOR: Yes, I thought that's what we were leading up to!
JAMIE: Well, I must admit, Doctor, you do look like him.
VICTORIA: Exactly like him.
PRINCESS: I don't see it.
DOCTOR: Even so, there's more to it than that. What about the voice?
ASTRID: Well, it's nearly the same pitch. Only the accent.
DOCTOR: Only the accent?! My dear young lady. Oh, dear… Now, what was it he said. (Attempts to mimic Salamander) We still cannot guarantee good summer holidays for all. No. Guarantee. No, no. Guaran–Guarantee. (To Astrid, normal voice) You see, it's very difficult… Of course, I always was interested in phonetics. (Attempts to mimic Salamander) Holidays. Summer. Summer. (Normal voice) He must have come from Mexico. Quintana Roo or Yucatan I should wonder.
KENT: That's incredible, Doctor. He was born at Merida, state capital of Yucatan.
DOCTOR: Yes, there are other very strong influences though. Oh, I could do it in time. But what if I did? What then?
KENT: You could walk into Salamander's Research Station at Kanowa, find out how he's getting control of the separate World Zones and then bring out absolute proof.
PRINCESS: Why there?
KENT: That's where his main base of operations is.
PRINCESS: Any caves around there?
(The phone on Kent's desk buzzes and he answers it.)
KENT: (Into phone) Yes. I see.
(Kent hangs up the phone.)
KENT: How long did you say it would take you to master Salamander's accent?
DOCTOR: I didn't. It would take three weeks, perhaps four.
KENT: Well, while we've been talking the Security Chief I told you about, Donald Bruce, has since cordoned off this entire area. He's coming here himself now. I'd say you've got about two minutes, Doctor.
DOCTOR: But that's out of the question!
KENT: Do you know what he'll do as soon as he sees you, a man who resembles Salamander so closely?
VICTORIA: That's not fair!
KENT: That won't matter! You'll be under arrest for impersonation as soon as he sees you, I mean it.
DOCTOR: But isn't there another way out of this?
KENT: Only one. Be Salamander.
PRINCESS: But he can't be, they don't even look–
VICTORIA: He's not wearing the right clothes!
DOCTOR: Yes, that's a good point.
KENT: There are some in here.
(Kent walks over, opening a door next to the screen in the wall.)
KENT: It's not as eccentric as his usual style, but do the best you can.
DOCTOR: I won't! I can't!
KENT: Your friends, Doctor, do you want them to suffer? Because they will, you know.
(Kent grabs the Doctor and pushes him towards the door.)
DOCTOR: No, no, wait a minute! Why is a man like Bruce coming here? Don't push me.
KENT: There isn't time!
DOCTOR: You sent for him, didn't you? You tipped him off!
KENT: I couldn't miss an opportunity like this. Now please, come on.
(Kent pushes the Doctor through the door and then closes it.)
ASTRID: Giles, for heaven's sake, what have you done? It's far too risky.
(Suddenly the door is kicked in and everyone jumps. An armed soldier stands in the doorway. He surveys the room, then stands aside, allowing a large man with thinning hair and glasses to march in – Bruce.)
BRUCE: Hello, Kent. Doing some recruiting, are you? A bit young for killers, aren't they?
PRINCESS: Aw, thank you.
(When Bruce glares at the Princess, she and her companions lean away.)
VICTORIA: What do you mean, killers?
KENT: (To Bruce) What do you mean by stepping in here like this?
(Bruce approaches Kent's desk.)
BRUCE: Any time, Kent. I've got the right and you know it. Any time I like.
(Reluctantly, Kent sits down behind his desk.)
KENT: All right, what do you want?
BRUCE: That's better. You're ex-security, you know the way it's got to go. We might as well be nice and civil about it, mightn't we? (Points to Astrid) That bungalow in Cedar District. In your name, right?
ASTRID: Why?
BRUCE: Well, I have to tell you, there's been an awful nasty mess out there. Someone has got himself shot in your living room. (To time travellers) And who are you three?
JAMIE: Jamie McCrimmon.
BRUCE: And?
JAMIE: Victoria Waterfield, and this here is the Princess.
BRUCE: Princess? Don't make me laugh. She looks more like a dried-up magician than a princess.
PRINCESS: (To Victoria) Is that a compliment?
BRUCE: (To Princess) What's your real name? Out with it!
PRINCESS: Princess.
BRUCE: Now, I'm not playing around. This your last chance.
VICTORIA: (Hushed) Tell him something believable, Princess.
PRINCESS: But…Oh, fine. I'm…Aurora? Oh, yes, I like that one. That's me, Aurora Smith.
BRUCE: Really?
PRINCESS: Yep, here's my ID.
(The Princess holds up a two of hearts, passes it between her hands and then makes it disappear with a flurry of movements.)
PRINCESS: Convinced.
BRUCE: Hardly.
VICTORIA: Excuse me, but who are you?
BRUCE: (To Kent) Do they not know who I am?
KENT: (Reluctantly) This is Donald Bruce, Security Chief.
BRUCE: That's right.
PRINCESS: Did you enjoy that?
BRUCE: I'm the one asking the questions here.
PRINCESS: I'm sorry, was that a question or–
(When Bruce marches towards the Princess, she and Victoria step back, with Jamie stepping out in front of them.)
BRUCE: Now listen to this, all of you. (To Kent) One of your men was murdered in a bungalow rented to (Points to Astrid) you. The remains of two others were found in what was left of a helicopter. (Points to Astrid) You were in that bungalow at the time, and there were four other people with you. (Points to the time travellers) Two youngsters, a man and a woman, right? Now, there was another man, wasn't there? So, we'll deal with that first. Where is he?
(The Princess cautiously raises her hand in the air.)
BRUCE: Yes, what is it?
PRINCESS: Which question would you like us to answer first? You asked quite a few.
BRUCE: Where is the man?
PRINCESS: (Points to Jamie) There.
BRUCE: The other man.
JAMIE: What other man?
BRUCE: The one at the bungalow.
PRINCESS: We weren't at a bungalow.
BRUCE: We know you were.
VICTORIA: How can you know it was us when you don't even know who we are? It could have been anyone–
(Bruce marches back up to the time travellers, who all lean back.)
BRUCE: That's enough cheek from all of you. Now if I don't get some answers now, I'll–
(The door beside the screen opens. The Doctor steps out, earning everyone's attention. Only he's now wearing a black pair of trousers and a jumper, with his hair neatly brushed to one side. He scowls somewhat, before laying eyes on Bruce and walking over to him.)
DOCTOR: (Pretending to be Salamander) Why, hello, Bruce. What are you doing here…?