A/N The choices and behavior discussed by Joyce and Buffy are, just like with the choices Giles made, the same choices and behavior the characters made on the show. I have not added or exaggerated any of them, all I am attempting to do is examine and explain them. All the characters made questionable choices, most of what Buffy's choices, aside from the fact that she ignored the fact that Angel was a vampire and never thought about the curse and it's implications, are simply the choices of a fairly immature teenager. About two years prior to the current date in the story she was an airheaded teenager obsessed with boys, clothes and popularity. Fairly normal and the way she behaved when she wasn't in Slayer mode was pretty much the same way she had before. Starry eyed over Angel, clueless over Willow's behavior and casually cruel toward a boy she had no interest in, but still claimed as a friend.

In other words, normal. But that doesn't make it right, either and she took it to extremes, like with the dance. The kind of behavior an adult should be calling a kid out on and helping them figure out a better way of behaving.

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"So, you view Xander as goofy, clumsy and like a puppy." Joyce stated. "And you treat him that way too, with no regard for his feelings. Why are you friends with someone you think so little of and never bother to give him credit for anything, large and small, that he does to help you?"

"Well, he's funny and he's helpful, I guess."

"Helpful, as in saving your life?"

"Well, he helps with research and he carves stakes too. But, he could be really irritating, like when he made comments about Angel."

"What kind of comments?"

"Well, about him being a vampire and Xander accused him of lurking, instead of helping."

"Did Angel patrol with you?"

"No, not usually. We'd meet in the cemetery sometimes and make out, but mostly Xander or Willow patrolled with me."

"When Willow patrolled with you, what did you talk about?"

"Angel and how great he is or was, before the curse broke."

"What had he done that was so great?"

"He helped me fight these three big vampires that the Master sent after me."

"Did he know they were going to attack you? Did he come to warn you?"

"No, he jumped into the fight."

"So he just happened to come along while you were fighting them? Or maybe he was following you, lurking as Xander put it."

"Even if he did, he just wanted to keep me safe."

"So he followed you around and watched you and you think he was just trying to keep you safe. But he didn't patrol with you or help you research or make weapons. When was he around, Buffy?"

"When he had information, mostly and then when we decided to date, only we didn't go on many dates, we just mostly made out."

"When did you know you loved him? You loved him before you had sex with him, right?"

"I don't know when I realized I loved him, he was so mad and jealous over me dancing with Xander. He told me I was just a kid and I didn't know what I wanted and I told him I wanted him, that I wanted to die when he kissed me. He walked away from me, but he helped save me about a month later and Willow yelled at him for ignoring me and he asked me out for coffee and everything was perfect."

"Perfect because he was paying attention to you again after ignoring you? He was right about you being a kid and not knowing what you want, although his reasons for telling you that weren't because he was trying to help in any way. You weren't emotionally or mentally mature enough to be making the decision to have sex with anyone, let alone someone who overwhelmed you so thoroughly. Everything you've said tells me that and I know you want to believe you're mature enough to make the decisions you made, but honey, there was no relationship with Angel. What did you know about him besides the facts that you ignored, the being a vampire and under a curse?"

"He didn't like the girls he grew up with, he wanted a girl like me, he said so after I explained why I dressed as a noblewoman for Halloween." Buffy told her.

"Did he tell you what he liked about you as opposed to those girls?"

"No, but I didn't ask either."

"And that's the problem, Buffy, you knew almost nothing about him, beyond a few basic facts that should have scared you and you never asked and he never offered. You didn't have a relationship with him, you can't love someone you don't know and a relationship is about getting to know someone. You mistook attraction for love, love comes after that. And we still haven't gotten to why only now you care that Xander is angry at you."

"Why do I suddenly care?" Buffy muttered, not at all liking her mother's commentary on her and Angel, she thought the problem was her not acknowledging that Angelus was there all along, but apparently there other problems she hadn't acknowledged either.

"Because at some point you decided Xander's only worth was to make you feel better, even if it was at his expense and he's no longer trying to cheer you up and he's not letting you just use him to make yourself feel better. He was there for you, helped you, he cheered you up and you considered him an emotional support pet instead of a human. A human you no more bothered to get to know then you did Angel, the vampire."