Kaidan had to admit; the Citadel was good at pretending that everything was okay; truth be told, it was nauseating. He weaved through the crowds, trying to make his way back towards the Silversun Strip, which was a lengthy trip from the Dark Star Lounge.

He had met up with a couple of his students; they seemed to be doing well, despite everything being thrown at them. They had many stories of their own to share, and many questions for Kaidan as well. Of course, the biotic tried his best to answer them, but kept them in the dark the moment Kacey was brought up. It wasn't his place to speak for Kacey, and as curious as his students were, he wasn't here to discuss the scarlet haired commander.

Speaking of her, she had practically vanished this morning; all she said on the matter was that she had an errand to run and not much else. Kaidan knew she had a lot on her mind and he didn't want to pry, Kacey could take care of herself after all. But curiosity was a tenacious bastard, and he couldn't help but wonder what this 'errend' was.

He sighed; shore leave would be over soon and they would soon be faced with either the desired victory or absolute annihilation. He shook his head, he couldn't think like that. Kacey would certainly have something to say about his lack of faith in their success but it seemed that even she was having a hard time keeping the appearances up. He couldn't blame her, it was a hard thing to do, something that he had learned over the past three years. Sometimes he wondered how she did it.

He had to admit that the walk back was helping him to clear his head; a lot had happened so quickly it was enough to make his head spin. He had learned much about those closest to him, Kacey especially. Suddenly everything from the past ten years made so much more sense, from her reckless behaviour on the battlefield to her merciful and compassionate decision making. It was clear that she was used to keeping her guard up around people, and that it was only now coming down. He wondered why she had changed her mind, but when it came to Kacey, he knew he'd likely never know.

As he finally reached the Silversun Strip, he made his way towards Tiberus Towers, only to bump into Joker by the entrance to the apartment building.

"Hey Kaidan!" Joker said as Kaidan approached.

"Hey, what brings you here?" Kaidan asked, curious as to what Joker's response would be.

"I got a message from James, said to meet at Kacey's apartment." Joker replied, "Come on."

Kaidan followed Joker as they headed inside and got onto the elevator; whatever James' intention with the message, Kaidan wasn't sure if Kacey knew or not. And as they pair entered the apartment, he figured she hadn't.

The ringing sound of a call rang through the apartment, and Kaidan was tempted to leave the scarlet haired commander to her call in peace. Joker however, was not as willing to walk away.

"Joker, what are you doing?" Kaidan whispered.

"Come on, you're not the least bit curious?" Joker responded.

Kaidan reluctantly followed the pilot as they drew closer to Kacey, who was in the back with the poker table, tapping the button on her terminal.

"Mom?" Kacey said; she seemed surprised, which Kaidan could understand.

"Kacey? Oh sweetheart, how are you?" A woman's voice came through the terminal.

"I'm…fine, mom. Truth be told, I'm more worried about you."

"Kacey, I promise I'm okay. Since the evacuation of Tiptree I've been helping with the Crucible. I thought Steven—I mean Admiral Hackett had told you."

"He had. But if there's one thing I know about the Reapers, it's that they are thorough." Kacey said, her tone flat, "I wouldn't be surprised if there was someone indoctrinated spying on the Crucible."

A long sigh followed from the terminal and Kaidan and Joker listened in, "Trust me Kacey, anyone working for Cerberus or the Reapers wouldn't be allowed anywhere near the project. It's my job to protect it, after all."

"I know…it's just…" Kacey trailed off.

"Kacey, it's not like you to worry like this. Is everything okay?"

"I knew something was up." Joker whispered.

"Joker, I don't think we should—" Kaidan started before Kacey spoke up again.

"Not…exactly." Kacey replied, sitting down in the chair opposite the terminal, "Honestly? I don't know how I'm feeling right now. I mean, I've known that this was coming for a long time and now that it's here, it's put a lot of things into perspective."

"War certainly does have that effect on people."

"Except I don't think that this is war." Kacey replied, running her hand through her hair, "Last I checked, the Reapers aren't running around trying to come up with a plan."

"Something I learned a long time ago was that the war is only lost if people truly believe it to be lost." Kacey's mother continued calmly, "As long as you have something to fight for, you can fight, and you can win."

"Is that right?"

"It worked for your father and I." Kacey's mother mused fondly, "You were only three years old when the First Contact War happened. We knew we had to win, for your sake."

"I know. I'm certainly not lacking in that department."

"Oh? Who are they?"

"Hmm?"

"For you to speak so highly of your crew, they must be incredible people."

"Where do I start?" Kacey mused, trying to think, "There's a lot of them, most are off doing different things, and I've only got a handful with me."

"Start there. I know that Karin and Greg are with you on the Normandy. Hope you're not driving them insane like you used to do on the Cardiff."

"Hardly. I'm actually quite respectable now." Kacey snickered, "Well, there's the wise-ass pilot, Jeff Moreau or Joker. You can't have the Normandy without him; he's a damn good pilot and a good friend."

"Moreau? I had heard about a flight lieutenant by that name." She said, "I heard that he gave the turians quite the show during the Normandy test flight."

"So did I. Didn't believe it at first, but I can definitely see it now." Kacey said, "Then, of course, is EDI, our resident AI."

"An AI?"

"Yep. She's a lot like Joker; snarky, funny. Those two are quite enamoured with each other. Honestly, EDI was critical to our success for the Suicide Mission." Kacey continued, "Then, there's Garrus Vakarian; our resident turian sharpshooter and my best friend. He's always had my back since we've met and if you think I'm reckless, Garrus is a whole other level. And there's Liara T'Soni, resident prothean expert and Javik, our resident…prothean. Tali'Zorah is our quarian machinist and she is the best little sister anyone could ask for and then James Vega, who I believe you already know about."

"Yes, I remember Lieutenant Vega. Seems like a nice man."

"Last but not least, there's Kaidan." Kacey said, causing Kaidan to jump. Joker smirked at him as Kacey continued, "You know all about him already."

"Yes, I remember how much you spoke about him. I thought he was reassigned?"

"Nope, he's back on the Normandy." Kacey said, a small smile on her face, "Things have been getting better between us…at the very least it's the one of the only good things that has come out of this war."

"I'm glad to hear that, Kacey. It's good to know that there's people there that care about you."

"Yeah. So, what's brought all this on?" Kacey asked, her tone shifting, "Last time we spoke, you were very angry with me."

"I was. But I just felt I needed to…I just think about you everyday. I try not to worry. The other day, I was remembering the bedtime stories we used to make up. You had your own ship and crew. The stories were always filled with adventure and danger."

"Oh, yeah. Huh." Kacey responded, turning and finally spotting Joker and Kaidan by the stairs and gesturing them over, "Haven't thought about that in a while."

"Me neither. You'd always swoop in to punish the bad guys and save the day. So…there you are. Even when you were little, you dreamed of the life you have."

"I don't remember genocidal machines being a part of that, but I guess there's room for improvement." Kacey quipped, "Is that why you called?"

"No…I just wanted you to know that I am proud of you, honey. So proud."

"Thanks, mom." Kacey replied, "And just so you know, my boyfriend and my wiseass pilot have been eavesdropping on this conversation, so…"

"Oh? Kaidan and Joker? Hello."

"Oh you did that on purpose." Joker said to a snickering Kacey before turning his attention to the terminal, "Hi Kacey's mom."

"Hello Admiral." Kaidan said to which Kacey gave him a look, "What? You told me that."

"Jeez Kaidan, you greet everyone like that?" Kacey snickered.

"It sounds like you three are very good friends." Kacey's mother said, "I know what my daughter is like, Kaidan. I appreciate you taking care of my daughter."

"It's not a problem, really." Kaidan replied, smirking, "Someone has to stop her from doing something stupid."

"You sure about that?" Kacey snickered.

"I am, or would you like me to recap the last ten years for you?" Kaidan snickered.

"Touché."

"It's so good to hear that you're doing well, Kacey." Her mother said, "Oh sweetheart, I've got to go, but I will call you again later. Goodbye, Kacey."

"Bye mom." Kacey said as the call was finished; the moment the line was cut Kacey shot the pair a disapproving look, "Do I even want to know?"

"No. No you don't." Joker replied, looking around the apartment, "Where's James?"

Kacey gave the pilot a sceptical look, "James? Why would James be here?"

"James said to come round."

"Oh. It's probably about the game he was talking about earlier." Kacey replied, standing up, "Shit. I forgot to pick up some snacks."

"We will go get some." Kaidan said, nudging Joker, "Won't we, Joker?"

"We will?" Joker choked.

"Yeah, and on the way we can have a chat about privacy." Kaidan said as he led Joker to the door.

"Oh fuck off." Joker screeched as Kacey laughed.

…

Finding snacks in the Silversun Strip was a simple task, one that didn't require much thought to be put into it. If anything, Kaidan found it more useful to lecture Joker as they walked.

Naturally, the pilot had little to say to counteract his points; he knew that eavesdropping was a bad idea, especially when it came to Kacey. Privacy was something that Kacey valued and considering recent events, Kaidan didn't want to push it. Joker, oblivious to what was really going on with the scarlet-haired commander, didn't see the harm. Kaidan wasn't sure what the pilot found so interesting about eavesdropping, but figured it was better not to ask.

Joker instead managed to turn the conversation to how Kacey described the squad; he seemed almost flattered by it. Kaidan, however, wasn't too bothered; he already knew exactly what Kacey thought of him and vice versa. Joker kept rambling away as Kaidan began to question his sanity, entering the apartment only to hear Kacey and James' voices.

"No! No…I stopped fraternising when I joined the military." James said, "The two don't seem to go well together."

Kaidan could hear Kacey scoff as she replied, "Hasn't stopped you from being a shameless flirt."

"Yeah, well that's just my way." James replied, "I didn't mean anything by it, Lola."

"Uh huh." Kacey crossed her arms, clearly not buying it.

"I'm not getting in between you and Kaidan, am I?"

"Not even remotely."

"Good to know." Kaidan said, making both his and Joker's presence known, "I was worried there for a sec."

"Yeah, right." Kacey replied with scepticism, "Somehow I find that hard to believe."

"Okay, maybe I wasn't that worried."

"Come on, the game is about to start!" Cortez said as the quintet moved towards the sitting room.

"Care to explain what the hell is going on?" Kacey asked.

"Biotiball." James said, taking a bottle of beer from the case, "Seattle Sorcerers verus Usaru Maestros."

"Going to be some intense biotiball." Cortez added as he sat down.

"Nah, it's just a goodwill game for troop morale. They'll take it easy."

"In the middle of a war with their troops watching?" Kacey mused, "They'll give it their all."

"Absolutely." Cortez replied, getting excited, "Have you seen Derek Roger's game lately? Man, he and the Sorcerers have been tearing it up."

"Esteben, the Maestros don't lose." James countered, "Have you seen Tyra T'Sanis play? The woman is blue lighting."

"And oh boy can she play!" Joker said eagerly.

"Thank you, Joker."

"Mr Vega, your love of the asari team has more to do with how they look than how they play." Cortez quipped as Kaidan snickered.

"Hey, that's not true…not entirely." James defended himself, "Besides you telling me you don't got the hots for some of the Sorcerers?"

"Okay, okay. Guilty as charged. So, Kaidan, Shepard? Who are you backing?"

"Sorcerers." Kaidan replied, "What can I say? I'm biased."

"Figured you'd pick the sensible option." Joker scoffed.

"So, Shepard?" Cortez questioned.

"Still calling me by my last name, Steve?" Kacey said with a smirk.

"Hey, you deserve respect. So…"

"Fine. whatever makes you happy." Kacey replied, sitting next to Kaidan, "I don't know…I don't know much about either team."

"So…flip a coin." James snickered.

"No. Just put the game on." Kacey said, "I'll decide after I've seen them in action."

"Oh this is gonna be fun." Joker snickered.

Watching a B-ball game was not something that Kaidan anticipated doing in recent years. The atmosphere in the apartment was such a stark contrast from the events of the previous months that it made him feel like he was dreaming. He couldn't quite remember the last time he had just…sat down. Sat down and basked in some normalcy for once.

As expected James and Cortez was heavily invested in the game; shouting and laughing as the match continued, with Joker howling with laughter and throwing the odd dirty comment or , however, was watching with some type of childlike interest, almost as if she had never seen a TV screen before. There was this look of curiosity that Kaidan had never seen with her before.

By the time either James or Cortez thought to ask Kacey which team she was betting on, Kacey had all but stopped paying attention and was unresponsive. Kaidan looked over at the scarlet haired commander, only to find arguably the last thing he ever thought he'd see.

"She's asleep?" James said, with a look of surprise plastered across his face as Joker snickered.

Kaidan was just as surprised as James; the pair had cuddled up on the sofa, yet Kaidan had failed to notice Kacey nod off as her head rested on his chest. Kaidan was surprised by the sight; he had thought that Kacey's sleepless nights were a problem long thought solved.

"She must be really tired to nod off like that." Cortez said.

"Well she has been under a lot of pressure lately." Kaidan mused, looking at Kacey fondly, "Honestly, she deserves to have some rest."

"Yeah, she needs a nap." Joker replied sincerely, "All jokes aside, it's a good thing you came back, Kaidan."

The biotic shot Joker a puzzled look as James choked on his drink. It wasn't often that Joker said such a thing with both sincerity and seriousness. He didn't doubt the pilot's intention, but he did have to wonder what had suddenly spurred him to make that it seemed like he wasn't the only one as Cortez asked the painstaking question for him.

"What do you mean?" Cortez asked.

"Oh come on. Don't tell me you didn't notice." Joker said, "You know what? Maybe you didn't. Kacey just hadn't been herself since she came back; she just seemed more…lifeless recently, y'know?"

"I don't…" Kaidan tilted his head, prompting Joker to continue.

"Look, she seemed fine during the Collector stuff…mostly." Joker explained, "Horizon was a real sore spot but it was literally like she never left, like she hadn't been dead for two years. Then she did a mission for Hackett and she got all quiet…and after the Reapers invaded, she just seemed to be so tired and pissed off. It's not like her."

"Wait. What mission?" James asked; Kaidan shot Joker a stern look as the pilot contemplated what to say.

"Kaidan…you..?" Joker trailed off, surprised.

"I know. She told me." Kaidan replied, "Pretty sure that it's not something she wants to spread around either."

"Right. I get it. Fair enough."

"Do I even want to know?" James asked.

"No." Kaidan replied, "You don't. However, I'm struggling to see how I fit into this?"

"Wow, you must be dense." Joker snickered, "Put it this way; remember when we were heading to Mars? How she punched a hole in the Engineering deck, all the shouting…and compare that to how she is now. Do you not see a difference?"

Kaidan thought for a moment; he had to admit that her mood had improved substantially recently, but only because she had finally let someone bear the burden with her as opposed to bottling things up herself. Kaidan had to wonder; how long had she been bottling this all up for?

"I see your point." Kaidan said.

"Exactly. You know, it wasn't until I fell for EDI…did I realise how much those connections matter, you know? It's fun to tease you two, and how much you try to be subtle but can't…but honestly, I think that's what we need to keep us going."

"That is…uncharastically wise." Kaidan said with a smirk, "Especially coming from you."

"Fuck off."

"Shh, keep it down." James snickered, "The Commander is sleeping."

"Was sleeping." Kacey said, rubbing her eyes as she yawned, "You talk too loud, you know that?"

"Enjoy your nap?" Kaidan asked to which Kacey snickered.

"Surprisingly, yes. Honestly I didn't expect to fall asleep."

"Same here. It looked like you were really enjoying the game." Cortez said.

"I was but I guess staring at a screen isn't for me." Kacey said, "That Armax Arena though…"

"Let's do just that tomorrow." Kaidan said, "Heck, let's invite everyone for a round."

"Now that would be interesting." Kacey laughed.