Content Warning: This episode contains references to child abuse. Please stay safe while you read.

The OP Sorcerer's Guide to Accidentally Adopting Succession Battle Candidates

Hedonist Safir & Heretic Merlin #2

By: Aviantei

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"Luna Artur, one of the eleven chosen candidates for the King Arthur Succession Battle—"

"Have we got a deal for you."

You think it's a pretty good dramatic opening line if you must say so yourself. You and Rintarou have even pulled off that Speak in Tandem thing. Kind of impressive, considering that you didn't even rehearse or, well, plan any of this. Or, rather, it would be impressive if you and Rintarou weren't just so fucking good at everything.

Luna Artur seems impressed, though, or maybe she's just stunned. It's still early morning in Avalonia, and it looks like your entrance woke her up. You try to imagine things from her perspective:, being nice and asleep and then—bam, two sorcerers popping up in your room talking about the King Arthur Succession Battle. And then you stop trying to bother thinking from her perspective, because Luna Artur is the type to toss any expectation placed on her out the window, just like any good energetic and stubborn protagonist.

"A deal?" she sleepily echoes, and you catch Rintarou's dark eyes flicking towards you, like he's trying to confirm what's happening, make sure this is the right girl. Oh, boy, is he in for it the next couple of years. Luna rubs the sleep out of her eyes. "Who are you two, anyways?"

Rintarou raises a hand to his chest in a moderately extra gesture. "Magami Rintarou."

"And you can call me Safir," you add, but Luna's only half listening, staring down Rintarou. Yeah, that's right—they met when they were kids, but Rintarou just straight up didn't remember. Part of you wonders how he forgot in the first place when Luna is an absolute whirlwind, but it was probably some sort of defense mechanism, the memory buried under every awful thing that the people that came after said to him.

You tuck away that anger for later and continue speaking: "We're here to become your vassals for the King Arthur Succession Battle." Luna's eyes light up at the mention—as far as she's concerned, Rintarou's fulfilling his promise from when they were kids. They can sort that out later. "Rintarou-chan and I here are powerful sorcerers. With us on your side, you're guaranteed to win."

"Super cool," Luna breathes, stunned for all but a moment. "Oh, if you're gonna be my vassals, we have to do the thing! Ah, I'm super not prepared for this—" She launches herself off the bed and towards the closest, spastically muttering all the way. Soon she's dug out a shoe and is stuffing it on her foot, despite being in nothing else than a tank top and shorts. With zero shame, she plops back down on her bed and crosses her legs, the now converse-covered foot prominently pushed forward. "A ceremony to bind master and servant! Go on. Lick it."

The look on Rintarou's face is absolutely priceless, and a splutter of laughter bursts out of your lips. Rintarou looks to you, even more scandalized than before. "Safir," he says, the rest of his words in a perfectly executed Old English that leaves Luna confused, "are you messing with me right now?"

"No," you say in kind, unable to keep a straight face even though you're completely serious, "that's her."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" he howls in English, and that sets off what will be the first of many bickering arguments between Magami Rintarou and Luna Artur—the modern day's Merlin and King Arthur.

You smile, snicker, magic yourself up some popcorn, and sit back to watch.

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"She's exactly like King Airhead was back then. I hate it…"

Rintarou's moaning and groaning while sprawled out on the table of the restaurant you're in. He demanded sushi as payment for his suffering, and you complied. It's not like you can't afford it, anyways, though Rintarou seems bent on ordering as much expensive fish as he can muster in some form of retaliation, as if you don't have more money than you could ever reasonably know what to do with—and that's after paying for your parent's retirement, setting up funds for your children if you ever decide to have them this round, and donating to several causes that you think are worth the cash.

"I think that's part of why the other you stuck with her," you say, working on snapping your chopsticks apart. The break is perfectly clean and even, hardly a splinter out of place. "I mean, then, I guess you only had some vague memories to work off of, but Luna's enough like Arthur was that you were just drawn to that." Rintarou groans one more time, but you can see the smile starting to form on his lips. Arthur and Luna after him may be unreliable hellions at first glance, but Rintarou—Merlin cares about them just the same. You tap your fingers across your thigh in a patternless cadence. "We gotta figure out a better way to talk about this, otherwise things are just going to get confusing. Any objections to calling that timeline 'canon'?" It's much easier than coming up with something new to call it anyways.

"Yeah, fine by me." The first round of your sushi arrives, and Rintarou sits up straight to make room on the table. That's a lot of fish in front of you. Maybe you should've brought Luna along for the ride, but then Rintarou would just bitch more, and he needs a little bit of time to decompress before heading back into the fray. Ah, well, best not let things go to waste. Rintarou pours out soy sauce for the both of you before tucking in with an itadakimasu. "I'm impressed that canon me didn't just give up on her right away. I know you mentioned that I was in it for fun, but she's still a lot. At least now I have reassurance that it'll work out, but…"

You smile. The fact that he can get irritated like this is a good sign that he's already moving forward, getting away from that cynical and isolated place he could have ended up trapped in. Oh, and the sushi is delicious, well worth whatever market price happens to be nowadays.

"Just stepping in like this is going to change things around a lot, though," you say, which is fine. Rintarou wants a King Arthur Succession Battle different from the canon one, Rintarou gets a King Arthur Succession Battle different from the canon one. It's as simple as that. "I mean, I think there's still at least a few years before you would have met Luna—" again, you think "—in canon, so we're already ahead of schedule. Plus there's also differences with you."

Rintarou frowns a bit while he chews, all too easily able to imagine what the next couple of years could have been like. "You mean besides being bored out of my mind and hating everyone else in the world?"

You nod, only halfway able to appreciate the quality of the sashimi you're munching through. "I'm mostly thinking about your Merlin memories. You had dreams and stuff before. But only so much of it clicked." You don't bother framing it as a question. Unless this timeline was already fundamentally different from the start, you already know how this goes for him.

"Yeah. And it wasn't until you called me Merlin that things started falling into place, and I didn't really realize it until afterwards. Like my body and mind needed time to be on the same page."

"Exactly. Not to mention the more that we fought before, the more techniques you were able to remember and the more damage you could do." You point your thumb at yourself. "I remembered everything right out the gate this round. You need to have an exposure to things to build up more of your skill—to get your full power as Merlin back." The idea makes you grin. "Mm, I want a rematch when you get to that point again, you hear me? Of course, I'll gladly be your sparring partner until then, but…"

You know well enough that there's a world of difference between battles where you can unequivocally crush your opponents and ones where they can put up a fight, and that impatient, battle high part of your soul can't wait to see the results.

Rintarou puts his first empty sushi plate aside and pulls another one closer. His dexterity makes using chopsticks look like a work of art. "Without you around, I wouldn't have had much opportunity to build up my skills before the Succession Battle, is that what you're saying?" he asks. Oh, right, that was the point you were trying to make before you got distracted. Then again, Rintarou looks as every bit excited by the concept as you are. "Ah, man, this should be fun then. Even if it means we can just crush all the other candidates, it's not like that will be the end of the road."

Because there are things waiting beyond that point. On the other side of the Curtain of Consciousness, monsters that can threaten to destroy the world.

Because the Dame du Lac still exist, and you know that anger that Merlin has pent up inside him is only going to grow as time goes on.

"That all said, we still have some time before the Succession Battle starts. We have plenty of time to build your power, train up Luna a bit more, set up a base of operations, and in general prepare. We should make the most of that time, yeah?"

Which both of you decide to interpret as getting through your meals as quickly as possible so you can have another sparring match, rearranging the same patch of desert as before as the second steo in the process.

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Luna has taken the self-appointment of both you and Rintarou as her new vassals in stride. Rintarou was already in the running thanks to his childhood friend status—which he still hasn't seemed to remember yet, and you've decided to see whether it'll come back to him or Luna will snap in frustration first—and Rintarou's word is more than enough for Luna to accept you, too. You're pretty sure your display of sheer magical potential helps, too.

Oh, and the literal manor that you've acquired as Team Luna's new base. You're pretty sure that also works in your favor.

You don't want to give too much credit to the Dame du Lac—to be more accurate, you don't want to give too much credit to Morgan le Fey, but details—but they did something impressive with manipulating the world into building New Avalon right on the perfect intersection of lay lines. Hell, it's been here long enough that it has a whole community established on it, and some families have already had a few generations that have lived here.

Which means that the good news is that you were able to secure Logres Manor as your base without having to build it from the ground up.

"Whoa! This is like my dream mansion! How'd you know, Safir?"

Luna's staring up at the thing, starry eyed and nearly sparkling from her excitement. Rintarou is looking over the place with a much more critical eye, and you can feel his magic probing the area, assessing its layout and position and the truck load of protective spells and wards you've already dumped over the place. No one's getting into your base of operations without your express permission, and he ultimately nods his approval.

"Not bad," he says, and Luna's already sprinted to the doors, cheering in excitement as your spellwork opens the path for her. Preventing her from doing problematic things—like completely emptying out her and Rintarou's pocketbooks for the place—is simple whenever you know what to circumvent. Camelot International's even already received a regular stream of funding from your many bank accounts to prevent Luna from needing to sell off her Excalibur later down the line. "The rent on this place won't be cheap, but its position and vantage are well worth whatever the cost may be. Let me know how much you want me to chip in—I'll make sure King Airhead over there contributes, too."

Rintarou jerks his thumb over to Luna, who's come back to test out the automatic great wooden doors again. Just before they close again, you head inside as well, Rintarou at your heels. You make it inside the entrance hall just in time to see Luna bolt up the stairs, claiming dibs on the master bedroom in a voice that echoes off the pristine and near shining walls.

"Don't worry about rent," you say, Luna's enthusiasm pulling a smile onto your lips. "I bought the place. It's ours now."

"You what?" Or, at least, you're pretty sure that's what he said. The words were far more of a strangled choke. "This place could not be cheap. If you're going to do that, then King Airhead and I should at least chip in on the lease—"

"Rintarou." He stills at his name, at the lack of honorific, at the one-hundred-and-ten percent serious look you give him. "I bought it. There's not a lease." His mouth flaps open and shut a few times. You consider telling him that his look of shock is absolutely adorable, but there will be plenty of opportunities for that later. "I've done this whole 'financial responsibility' thing before, and I've had my memories since I was born. I used some prize money from when I was a brat as a seed, and then I added onto it. I have patents in my name, Rintarou-chan. I have way more money than I know what to do with. This is nothing." You could buy ten manors, just as luxurious as this one, and still have money to spare.

That, and you may have used some spellwork to give the previous owners some unfortunate dreams that made them think they'd achieve their untimely demise so long as they stayed—which, according to the novel canon, is true. Don't let anyone say you think doing such things to cut a deal that works out in your favor is beneath you.

Rintarou processes the information for a bit longer, but then he nods. "You're ridiculous," he says, but his tone makes it clear it's a compliment. "Just don't let King Airhead know you have that much cash. If she's as much like Arthur as she seems, she'll try to swindle you out of every last cent you have."

"Ah, but I've already considered that, you see." You dig into your pockets and fish out a couple of debit cards. You pass one to Rintarou, whose eyes narrow as he reads his own name on the user line. "I made you and our king some accounts. You'll get regular funds, yeah? Try not to spend it all in one place."

"You don't—"

"I don't," you agree, and Rintarou almost pouts as he looks at the debit card. Another cute expression on him. "But I can, and I want to, so that's what I'll do. 'Fuck holding back' applies to situations like this, too, you know, Rintarou-chan. Just think of it like an allowance if you have to. Hell, I don't care if you toss the money into whatever. But at least take it."

Because Luna and Rintarou aren't going to get money from anywhere else. Luna's already had whatever argument with her father that put her out of the Artur family's good graces—and, boy, they'll probably try crawling back once she becomes the new King Arthur, but it sucks to suck—which made it easy to move her to Avalonia without much complaint. Rintarou's parents have already lost their right to be his parents as far as you're concerned, so they get no fucking say in the matter. And considering that your parents are living off your money, it's not like they can complain where you choose to spend the rest.

Luna's your king now, and Rintarou's your partner in crime—they're your people.

(You take care of your people.)

Rintarou tucks the card into his wallet and relents, his pout morphing into a smirk that suits him well. "What's the gender neutral term for sugar daddy?" You whack his shoulder but snicker. Luna can get her fancy new card when she's finished freaking out over the entirety of the manor, so back into your pocket it goes. "Still, this place is pretty big. What are we even going to do with all this space?"

"A king and two vassals does not a kingdom make," you say, and Rintarou seems to accept that much. No matter the battle, more allies is generally a good idea—even if the two of you are more than enough to handle everything on your own, even with making up for Luna's more spastic tendencies. "Maybe for the next few years, it'll be a lot of space, but we'll make good use of it in the end."

Sir Kay will need a room, at the very least. Plus you see no reason why your little timeline tweaks so far will stop Felicia Ferald and Sir Gawain from forging an alliance with Luna, not to mention Emma will also need a place to stay—

You freeze in place, hardly even registering the way Rintarou's looking at you as the magical memories start slipping in. Emma—Emma Michelle, that was her name. One of the other Succession Battle candidates, a girl that had gone through torture in preparation for her role to become a saint. Just innocence manipulated for the sake of someone else's benefit, a whole organization dedicated to creating a weapon in a child's body.

(Fight after fight after fight of near death, of spilling your own brother's blood, of your own blood spilling out of your flesh, of a burning desire for revenge that consumed you for a near decade, the insistence that you were worth nothing more than your anger and hate, that you were nothing more than a weapon given human form, a harbinger of destruction.

Another girl, one younger than you, with a slight build, silver hair, and ruby eyes. A force of mass destruction by the time she turned ten, one that wholeheartedly believed she was acting for the sake of justice and the word of God but was only perpetuating the sort of crimes she acted against, all because that was how she'd been raised.

You may have been on different sides in that war, but you both were capable of slaughter, and neither of you batted an eye until it was far too late.)

"Rintarou-chan," you say, your voice weak, your body almost forgetting how to act in the present. It comes back to you in time, though. "Rintarou-chan, have you gone and traveled the world yet?" Because it was Rintarou that helped Emma before, Rintarou that gave her a point of hope, even if he pulled it away in the end, and it would at least be something to work with.

"Huh? No, I haven't. I mean, I was thinking about it before you showed up, because what the hell else can school even teach me, right, but—"

You've executed the teleportation spell before he even finishes the sentence.

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France is a beautiful country, and the sunrise is doing it plenty of favors. Normally, you would savor the moment. Enjoy the view, suck in the fresh air. The Religious Order of Saint Joan has a pretty little setup for themselves, all old-style churches and accompanying buildings, every single one with pristine white stonework. Stained glass twinkles from windows, the grounds are well maintained, with the plant life in verdant greens, in the blossoming of flowers. These are the sorts of things you usually enjoy.

Right now, though, you're here to save a child, and you don't give a fuck about the Religious Order of Saint Joan's impeccable landscaping capability. It's just a pretty cover for the darkness underneath.

You build up your aura and stoke your mana furnace, letting the resulting wash of energy erupt over the Saint Joan's commune before you. Unlike your challenge to Rintarou, you don't control it, instead letting your pure rage and killing intent sweep over everything. Places like this tend to have early waking hours, but anyone that was asleep is sure to have woken up in a terror over what you've just unleashed. Good, you think, just seconds before, Terror isn't enough for bastards like this.

Still, you don't want to destroy everyone here. There's one exception in the midst, and she's easy enough to find. While the other members of Saint Joan's are scared from your presence, only one energy has that distinct tang of sadness and painpainpain to it. You've flashed to the side of that presence in a second.

It takes the same amount of time for the image before you to burn itself into your memory. A girl, with long hair that's too dirty to see the platinum blonde color underneath. A dead and defeated look in those aquamarine eyes, with bags like smudges under them. A form so slight—not just because of her natural body type, but because of malnutrition. Chains holding her in the air, the end points connected to the corners of an iron cage. Scattered religious texts on the floor. Because you built a spell to automatically adjust your vision when in extreme conditions, you almost don't realize that the room is pitch black, but it is, and this child, not even yet thirteen, is alone and suspended in it.

Emma Michelle lets out a wheezing breath that could be mistaken for someone on the verge of death, and it carries every single nuance of the tears she's too dehydrated to produce.

Your spellwork is as quick and efficient as ever, but it doesn't feel like enough. You free her from her bindings, you disintegrate the torture devices down to the molecular level, you clean the grime from her body, you give her fresh clothes, you put her into a magical and restorative sleep to make up for the abuse to her body as you hold her close in pure parental instinct, though there's no magic out there that can cure the mind just as easily, but that can be fixed in time, that's something you can get started on after you get her away from these absolutely awful, disgusting, fucking—

The one saving grace to Emma being left alone in the dark is that she won't be able to see whatever you decide to unleash on her captors.

So many spells spring to mind, spring to your fingertips. Just straight up killing them all seems too kind. If they're going to die, they should at least suffer the same amount they made Emma did, maybe even more. She's not like Jeanne was, canon her wasn't kind enough to extend forgiveness to her abusers, but you also want to give her the choice, let their holy saint decide just what torment they'll go through before you eject them from their living bodies.

(All life is precious, a voice that used to be yours whispers deep inside your soul.)

Not lives that fucking torture children under the pretense that it's for the good of the world. But the thought doesn't go away, so you forge spell that's a compromise, one that will put the entire Religious Order of Saint Joan through hell, deferring their final verdict for the time being.

Taking care of Emma is much more important.

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Consecutive large-scale magic like that even bothers your bullshit body enough to put you on the verge of winded, but you don't rest once you teleport yourself and Emma back to Logres Manor, into one of the already furnished rooms. Your wards around the building ripple with the force of your return, and you pull your murderous aura back in, compacting the rage into a refined ball that you can unpack later. You redirect your energy towards resting Emma into the already dressed bed and make longer term spells, serving more like a hospital room than the slapdash triage you conducted in the Saint Joan dungeons, something that will keep Emma in good shape until she wakes up again.

You're putting the final tweaks on the spellwork that will alert you if something goes wrong when Rintarou slams open the door.

You flick your eyes over to him, your hands twisting together your mana on autopilot. He's—not looking as self-assured as ever. His face is twisted up into—something? Oh, you realize as he marches closer to you and snap the final pieces of your diagnostic magic together, that's anger.

Rintarou fists the front of your shirt, though his eyes take note of Emma, and he has just enough sense of mind not to shout and disturb her sleep. "Where," he says, managing to convey an impressive amount of anger in his tone without raising his voice, "did you go? Safir, where did you go that you came back feeling like that?"

You suppose your arrival wasn't in the best state. Hell, your mana furnace is still burning, and you mutter the incantation to turn down the settings, whatever residual aura you were still blasting off shifting back to its usual state. "I had to take care of something," you say, because it's the truth. Emma sleeps beside you, blissfully dreamless thanks to your magic. "I remembered something from canon, and I couldn't just let it keep going any longer than necessary, so I left."

You're not directly answering his question, and Rintarou knows it. You don't know why you're being difficult. You're just—still so angry, and being combative is the only outlet you have for the moment. "You could have taken me. You don't just need to go off and fight everything on your own."

"And what? Leave our king here without anyone to watch out for her?"

Rintarou barks out a laugh. "Yes, because you would have built a magical defense that would let anyone that could cause a problem in. Funny how you trust me with looking after Luna, but you don't think I can keep up with you." You grimace, because that's not it at all. "If you want me to trust that you won't betray me, you need to trust me to know what's going on—not just disappear without a trace."

It takes another beat for you to realize that Rintarou was worried about you. Sure, he's saying this is about your promise to him, but that's not all there is to it.

You think about it: If Rintarou vanished out of nowhere and came back with his mana feeling like he'd just been through a war zone, what would you do?

The twisting feeling in your gut is awful. No matter how much of a miracle your body and brain are, reincarnation never seems to make you stop having feelings.

"Sorry." The word feels wooden in your mouth. "I just—I remembered, and I couldn't—" All sorts of emotions are clamoring for your attention, and you don't want to give any of them a single bit of your priority. Your voice comes out as a whisper. "They were torturing her, and I could do something about it, so I did, and I—"

"I get it." Rintarou's voice is just as low as yours. "You just—disappeared, and I couldn't even get a grip on where you might have gone, and—" He lets out a growl. "I'm not used to not knowing what's going on, Safir."

"I know." It's the burden of always being in control, of being good at everything. The moment shit doesn't match up to expectations, everything feels off. And while it can feel interesting in some moments, that novelty can wear off real quick. You adjust your hijab back into place as Rintarou lets go of your shirt. "We can try to work out, I dunno, some sort of signal for if I need to take care of emergency canon nonsense in the future." You don't think you'll run into anything like this again, but who the hell knows anymore. "That way, we can—"

"Heyyy, you two okay in here?" Luna's peeking around the corner of the doorway in the picture-perfect image of someone trying to spy and failing to be stealthy. You snap your jaw shut; letting Rintarou know about the whole canon nonsense is one thing, but Luna is a whole other animal, and you already decided to leave her and everyone else out of it. "Rintarou was super worried that you just up and disappeared, Safir, and of course I care as your king! So what just—oh, snap, who's the girl?!"

Predictably, Luna has no concern for keeping her volume under control when someone's sleeping. You run a hand down your face and sigh. "I don't want to wake her up, please. Let's talk about this downstairs. I think there was a tearoom…"

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Rintarou steps up to making tea as you settle into your quaint little parlor. Honestly, part of your brain is still in France, and you can't really appreciate much else about your surroundings. Luna and Rintarou both listen as you tell them about Emma, about a little girl forced to be a savior for people too pathetic to do anything than force their responsibility onto someone else.

"That's awful," Luna says, oddly sober for once. Even Rintarou looks disgusted, much more upset than when he came to demand answers from you. "People who do things like that are the worst. You did good going and picking up Emma, Safir. That's the kind of work I expect from my vassal."

The compliment actually makes you smile, and you sip at the tea. You brought some of your preferred stock with you when you moved in, and Rintarou is naturally good at getting an excellent flavor out of the brew. "Well," Rintarou says, "since you bought the place, I guess we can't complain too much about who you decide to let stay in it." He's trying to play it as casual as always, and you can't help but wonder if that's to ground himself, ground you, or if you're just reading too much into it altogether.

"Emma Michelle, though. Why do I feel like I've heard that name before…?" Luna's nose scrunches up as she thinks, and Rintarou goes to take a drink of his tea just as she says, "Oh, yeah, the Michelle family is another one of the houses that descended from King Arthur!"

Rintarou doesn't spit take, but he makes a sour expression that looks like his tea almost went down the wrong pipe. "Safir… You brought another Succession Battle candidate here?"

"Considering the alternative, I didn't see much other choice in the matter." You take another sip from your tea as you watch Rintarou's grimace, a sign that he doesn't like the situation, but he can't deny that you had a valid reason. "Emma needs a safe place to grow up that isn't going to just turn her into another symbol for people to shove their expectations on." You've been there, done that, and you're not wishing that on a kid that's so manipulated she probably doesn't even realize it wasn't her own decision. "I'm not going to jump ship to another king or anything. I just don't trust anyone else to take care of her and actually give her what she needs."

"I don't see the big deal," Luna says, and a breath of relief scatters the steam from the top of your teacup. "The Succession Battle isn't happening just yet, and we definitely can't let Emma stay with a bunch of sickos that are just gonna torment her." Luna's smile is like the first beam of sunlight that breaks through a stormy sky of clouds. "Safir, I'm sure you'll take care of her, yeah? You have my blessing as your king."

And that's that, really. Luna's scum, sure, but even she doesn't let injustice just walk by without at least tripping it on the way past. Besides, King Arthur was like this, too, wasn't he? Letting people who'd formerly been his enemies under his charge.

The Succession Battle can wait. Protecting a child is far more important.

Rintarou lets out a world-weary sigh, but he also doesn't argue anymore. "Fine. I'll leave it be until the Succession Battle starts. I'll trust you, Safir."

"Great," you say, draining the last of your tea, setting down the cup, and standing. "Then I'm going to go sleep for at least the next twelve hours."

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In some ways, it's weird that you can rest so easy, but your body wants some recovery time, plus you set enough spellwork on monitoring Emma that if she wakes up, you'll wake up, simple as that. Besides, it's not like the magical equivalent of melatonin is all that hard to produce if you're getting desperate.

It was afternoon when you went down, and it's some hour in the middle of the night when you wake back up. You roll around a bit longer, stretch when you finally stand up, and amble your way to the room next door, where Emma's resting. There's a lamp on, and Rintarou's tucked into a corner, reading one of the books from the manor's delightfully pre-stocked library. He looks up when you open the door, and you raise an eyebrow up in a silent question.

"King Airhead and I figured that it'd probably be better if she didn't wake up alone." You raise your other eyebrow to match the first in a follow up question. "No, I haven't been up all night. Luna and I traded off a few hours ago. Stop fussing."

"Alright, Rintarou-chan." You spend a few moments doublechecking that Emma's doing okay. There's nothing concerning about her condition—aside from, you know, the fact that she was in such a fucking awful condition in the first place—and her sleeping face is peaceful. You catch Rintarou concentrating, trying to get a feel on your spellwork as you look it over. "I'd teach you how to use it if you just ask," you say, though you can tell that's not really what's on his mind. Hell, it's not even all that's on your mind, and you've been conscious for a total of like ten minutes. You sigh. "I set things up so I'll know if something's wrong. Let's go get some fresh air."

Rintarou follows you out into the garden, and you suck in the mingling scents of plant life to try and relax. It only works so much, and all the nasty little feelings inside you are stirring again now that you're awake. After wandering aimlessly through the garden paths, you plop down onto a stone bench and stare up at the stars, surprisingly crystal clear. Rintarou also sits down, and you both wait things out for several moments.

"Did I know?" Rintarou asks. "I mean, canon me. Did I know about Emma?"

You glance at him sideways. "What makes you think that canon you did?"

"Because you asked before you left. Which means that, if I had left to travel the world, I would have met her." He's right. You should be more careful with things like that. "And if I'd already done it, that would have meant I just left her there."

You realize the path his thoughts are taking, the traces of guilt already starting to worm their way into his mind, for something that an alternate version of himself did. "You did know her, but you didn't know." Rintarou gives you a disbelieving look, but you press on. "Canon you met canon Emma when she was going about what you could call the normal parts of her life. You knew they were training her, but all you noticed was that they were teaching her a style that didn't match her at all, so you taught her swordplay. Emma…Emma was so brainwashed that she didn't even realize she needed help, so she wouldn't have asked for it. The only people to blame are the ones that did this to her, and I already took care of them."

"You killed them, I hope."

"No." Rintarou stands up, a fresh layer of rage slammed down over his face, and you grab his arm and pull him back down to the bench. Storming off won't do him any good. "Emma should get to decide if she wants them to die or not. She was the one wronged by this." Rintarou huffs but doesn't try to shake you off, though you can feel the antagonistic buzz to his mana under your fingertips, reverberating all the way to your chest. "Have a little faith in me, dammit. There's no way I'd let those fuckers get off scott free."

"So, then?"

You pause a moment, think of the spellwork still cloaked over the Religious Order of Saint Joan's settlement. "So I made it so that every one of them is in a Netherworld where they're reliving the level of torment they put onto Emma. And if they ever break out and try to do something like that again, they'll regret it before they can even hurt anyone else." Because it's so much easier for people to do things like that again when they've already justified it once.

They're going to have at least every bit as much trauma as Emma has by the time you're done with them.

"Good." Rintarou looks mollified for the moment, so you let him go. "Still, how could I have not fucking seen it? Things like that leave marks, dammit. Did I really not care enough to even notice that something was off?"

"I don't know. There's only so much that canon talked about that time, just that it happened. And, I mean, I know it doesn't fix shit, but you and Luna helped her out. She got to be free in the end. This time, I just…sped up the process." Because leaving it be for the next two and a half years was absolutely not an option. "If either of us is going to take the blame for what happened this round, it should be me. I didn't remember soon enough, so she had to suffer longer than necessary. I could have figured it out if I thought a little harder."

Rintarou has that little crease between his brows that mostly forms when Luna's doing something stupid. Should you be honored or offended that he's leveling that look at you? "Don't tell me you're going to blame yourself after all that shit you just told me."

"No, but if you're going to get all antsy about it, then you have way less of a reason to worry than I do." You lean back, your palms pressing against the cool marble that you're sitting on. "We can't control when we know things. So sometimes good people get hurt in the meantime. But it's our actions when we do know that count."

"So what about when we do know?" Rintarou's voice jumps up in volume, snaps into the otherwise quiet air. "What if we know things are going to go wrong, but we don't do anything about it? What if we make a mistake that ruins everything, and there's no way to fix it?!"

It occurs to you, maybe a bit too late, that this conversation isn't about Emma at all.

Rintarou sucks in a breath, but it doesn't do anything to calm him down. "I screwed up. Back then, with King Airhead. I knew it was all a bad idea, but I let it happen because he said not to worry about it. But if I had just fought harder, if I hadn't been stupid enough to get trapped by the Dame du Lac, I would have stopped it." His voice drops back down to a whisper. "I know I'm not a hero. Canon me wouldn't have been, either. But if I missed something so obvious like that before, what if I do it again? What if I make a mistake and I lose this king, too?"

Vulnerability is not something that comes easy to people like you, people who are used to handling everything on their own merit. The idea of your iron-clad competency failing on you, leading to the downfall of everything you care about—it seems so impossible until it happens, and then it's terrifying. Rintarou has already lived through that once, and, if it's happened before, it can happen again.

"Rintarou—no, Merlin." You keep your voice gentle, but Rintarou snaps to attention like the words are the crack of a whip. You stay comforting, stay soothing. "I can't read the future, and only so much of what I know of canon will be helpful. But you don't have to worry, okay? Because this round is different from the last one—" You pull him into a hug, and he flinches before he relaxes into the touch. "—this time, you've got me.

"You don't have to take on everything alone."

You hope that the words mean something to him, that they'll actually help him feel better. You know that you've needed to hear words like that before. And maybe you're pushing it, but it's what you have to give.

Rintarou shifts, and you're about to let go and give him back his personal space before his arms snag around your waist, which you honestly didn't expect. "You, too, Safir," he says, and you don't dare move, even if seeing his face would make knowing how to react ten-thousand times easier. "You don't have to fix all our problems on your own, either."

Which is fair, since you basically rushed forward into taking care of Emma on your own, like you were the only one who could solve that problem.

("Did you honestly think so little of me? That I wouldn't have helped you carry that burden?")

"It was something before, wasn't it?" Rintarou asks before you can come up with a response. "What Emma went through…you did, too?" You nod against his shoulder. This is the problem with your crystal-clear recollection: the memories feel brand new, they feel like you've just lived through them, feelings and all, and it makes it so hard to remember who you are in the present. It's impressive that you didn't just kill them all, really.

You would have, back then, if you'd been given the chance, if it would have done any good.

"Fair warning that I'm an absolute mess, and I have this problem a lot," you say, only half able to get the tone right to joke about it. "If you want to back out of our alliance now, this is the time to do it."

Rintarou shifts, moving so that you're at arm length, and his hands move up to your shoulders. He stares at you for several moments, his violet eyes boring into you before he tightens his hold and smacks his forehead into yours in an unrepentant headbutt. It's not enough to actually cause any damage, but you slap your hands to the impacted area anyways. "What the fuck, Rintarou-chan? I'm going to cut back on your allowance!"

"Don't you 'what the fuck' me! You're stuck with me, dammit!" You glare at him, but there's a happy little feeling fluttering around your chest, relief that he doesn't think you're too much of a mess to just get rid of. "Now tell me what happened, or I'll get King Airhead to bother you about the details, and you know she's not going to let up."

Absolutely fucking rude.

But he's right. You're not alone this round, either.

^^^
lo0ol

"Does it ever get easier?" he asks, after you've explained what happened to you, in a lifetime so long ago.

You shrug, and it already feels like there's less weight stacked on your shoulders. "It depends. On if you had enough time to process it before. On what the memories feel like when they come back." On if you force yourself to bury it all. You keep that thought to yourself, give Rintarou a smile. "But I think that you and I are going to be just fine."

^^^
lo0ol

Emma wakes up few days later, around mid-morning. You excuse yourself from the chess game you were playing with Rintarou, and you're at Emma's side when she opens her eyes. "Who…?"

"You can call me Safir," you say, your tongue immediately erasing any traces of an accent in your French. The familiar language helps her relax a bit, though she still seems tired, and you wouldn't be surprised if her brain's taking its sweet time processing everything so the poor girl doesn't end up overwhelmed. "I took you away from the Religious Order of Saint Joan."

"You—wha—wait!" Emma bolts up in her spot, more than recovered enough to make the move without straining herself too hard. "I can't just leave!" she says, grabbing at your clothes, like she's pleading for an alternative reality. "I'm supposed to be La Pucelle! I'm supposed to save everyone—!"

"Yeah, but do you actually want to do that?" Your question comes out probably a bit too harsh, but you can't keep it back. Emma's been brainwashed, raised to meet the whims of her shitty Religious Order. If she doesn't recognize that her true desire isn't to live up to their expectations, she won't be able to recover properly. "Emma Michelle, can you honestly tell me you want to save the world for them?"

Do you really want to save the world for people who put you through hell?

"I—I'm supposed to—" Her face scrunches up, and you can see the tears forming in her eyes. She lets go of you, hands pressing to her head. "NO! No, I don't want to do it anymore! I'm so tired of everything! Please, I don't want to—"

"Okay."

Emma peers up at you, and you recognize the look of fear, of expecting punishment for speaking against what she's supposed to do. You see the way it starts to melt into confusion from your response. "…huh?"

"I said okay. If you don't want to save the world, then you don't have to." You smile, ease yourself into the role of a comforter. There will be time for retribution later; right now, Emma needs someone that will let her know it's okay, someone that will keep her safe. "You can stay here with me and my friends. You can live whatever kind of life you want. I'll make sure of it."

"I…" Emma looks down, embarrassed. "I don't know what kind of life I want. I just know that I don't want to be La Pucelle anymore…"

"That's okay. You're still young. You have plenty of time to figure things out." You sit down on the side of the bed, making sure to give Emma enough space so that she doesn't feel caged in. "If you want to stay with us, you can. If you want to go somewhere else, I'll make it happen. No matter what, I'll make sure the Religious Order of Saint Joan can't hurt you ever again." You put a hand to your chest and dip your head in a bow. "This is my vow to you." Another promise you'll uphold, no matter what.

Those words are enough for Emma's tears to well up and spill over—but these aren't tears of panic or fear. These are tears of relief, and you ask for her permission to rub her back, only moving closer when she gives her watery consent. And while you know the Emma before you and canon Emma are two different people in two different timelines, what they both needed was the same: someone to protect them until they could learn to protect themselves, someone to give them a love they were fully denied of.

You let Emma cry as long as she needs to, pass her tissues, rub her back, give her a soothing presence in the room. You don't even mind how long it takes. Eventually, after the first round of crying fades, Emma sniffles into her twentieth tissue. "Can I really…stay here with you? I don't have to go back?"

"If that's what you want." Emma nods, and that just settles it. Her first decision made of her own free will—and if anyone tries to disrespect it, you still have some creative spells you can unleash in retaliation. "Alright, then it's settled. We'll go shopping for new things for you soon. Oh, and let me know what your favorite food is. We'll go get some to celebrate it. Ah, but first—"

There's so much that comes next. Legal custody, getting her the essentials. You know Luna won't say no to going shopping. And Rintarou will be a grouch, but he'll come along, anyways, because that's just how he is. Oh, and Emma will need her own debit card, too, so you'll have to set that up while you're out. But in this moment, none of that is the most important thing.

You give Emma a gentle hug and drop a kiss on top of her hair. "Welcome home, Emma." Her breath hitches, and you can feel the moisture of a fresh round of tears soaking through your shirt.

"…I'm home."

[Author's Notes]

Me, reading the second volume of the novels: Wow, fuck the Religious Order of Saint Joan—

Thanks to niln for the fav and follow.

Anyways, here's Luna, Emma, and some past life trauma, along with more OP shenanigans. To be continued in part three whenever my order for the third novel finally decides to stop being on backorder after the holiday rush.

Happy holidays, happy new year, and may we all have a (at least a little bit) better 2021 in store for us.

-Avi

[12.31.2020]