(This chapter has been revised on 7/25/2024)

"While seeking revenge, dig two graves-One for yourself"

-Douglas Horton

A New Understanding

Anna walked through the castle halls, trying to find a place to clear her head. The revelations of having a sister were just too much. Anna found herself in the castle gardens. There was no one else present, leaving the princess with total privacy. The garden was covered in snow and the air was cold, but Anna didn't bother to get a jacket. Her mind was in other places to even care about that right now. She walked through the gardens until she found a bench in a secluded area to sit down on. All Anna could do was...Think.

Everything her parents had revealed to her kept swarming Anna's mind. She really couldn't believe it but she really did have a sister. It seemed so hard to believe.

A gentle cold breeze brushed against her. It was nothing compared to the swirling storm in her. Emotions scrambled within Anna. She was angry and sad. She was angry that her parents kept information that was no doubt vital for her to know, but she was also sad for her sister, who had been stolen. She can't imagine what it was like for her parents to go through an ordeal. Anna felt sadness for her mother and...father.

Papa...

For most of her life, Anna believed her father to be overly paranoid. She thought that he did this for no reason. Now, she realized that it wasn't true.

He had a reason.

Anna was angry at herself. How could she had been so ignorant? Never once did she consider a reason for her father's behavior. The times she got annoyed at him, called him out on it, and last night when Anna called her Papa a control freak. Knowing what she knew now, Anna felt...awful. While Anna knew how he handled it was still wrong, she could now see why. And she was to blind to see it. Anna remembered purposely going against his rules to spite him several times, including going beyond the hills. It had gotten to the point where she couldn't tell if he was serious or not, and it almost got her killed. Her father probably thinks she is an ungrateful brat.

"Sadness storms within me like the snow." Anna thought. "I've frozen out the only family I'll ever know. There's no way I can win, but I wish that things had been different long ago."

"Life's too short…" Anna whispered to herself as she lowered her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "To be such an oblivious fool. So ignorant that I wouldn't see. Life's too short to constantly do what I want that I only ever thought of me. I wish I saw things clearly. I guess I'm just not the sort. Now all I know is life's too short."

Anna started letting out choked sobs. She was crying for her parents, who went through such a horrible thing, for herself for not even trying to be understanding, and for the sister she'll never know. Unknown to her, someone had been watching her.

Agdar & Idun had gone to look for Anna after she had left his study. Asking some servants, they both manage to find Anna in the gardens.

"Could you give me a few minutes alone with her?" Agdar asked his wife at the entrance.

Though hesitant, Idun nodded understandingly. Agdar walked around in the gardens looking for his daughter. He manages to find her while she was talking to herself and started crying. In all honesty, Agdar didn't blame her. The guilt he had heard in her voice was apparent. But Agdar knew very well that he also played a significant role in this.

Not wanting to see her cry anymore, Agdar called out to her. "Anna?"

"Oh god!" Anna jumped, quickly wiping her eyes. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough."

Anna turned her head away while also slightly blushing from the embarrassment.

"Do you mind if I sit next to you?"

Anna scooted to one side of the bench to make room. Agdar sat at the clear side of the bench.

They both sat in a painfully awkward silence, and neither was sure who to speak first. Noticing that Anna didn't have a coat on, Agdar took off his black jacket and wrapped it around her. "We don't want you getting a cold now."

"What about you?"

"I'm the king. I don't get colds," Agdar quipped back, to which his daughter giggled.

"Thanks..." Anna went quiet for a brief moment. "Listen, papa...I'm sorry for what I said last night and for everything else. If I had known-"

"No, Anna," Agdar interrupted. "You don't have to apologize. If anything, I should be the one apologizing. You made me see the truth last night."

"...I said those things because I thought you were just doing it because you were paranoid. I did most of the stuff you told me not to throughout my life, including going beyond the hill because I couldn't tell if what you claimed was true. Sometimes I did it just to spite you! But for everything you did you had good reasons for it. Until today, I never considered the possibility that something tragic had happened. I've been nothing but an inconsiderate brat."

"You weren't, Anna. You didn't know. I should've told you this long ago but I couldn't because...I was weak."

Anna just stared at him with confusion in her eyes. Agdar took a deep breath before continuing on.

"One of the reasons why I never told you about your sister was because...It hurts. It's much different when I lost each of my parents. Though they did hurt I eventually moved on. This type of pain never did. It stuck with me for years. I tried to conceal it as much as possible because I hated feeling like this. I never wanted to go through something like that again. I tried so hard to be freed of this pain, but I couldn't."

Agdar went silent. Anna could see the distraught look on his face. She had never seen her father this upset before.

"But what I did was still wrong," Anna spoke up. "I broke your rules, and I had no excuse. I'm sorry."

Anna sat still with her head down and hands on her lap, waiting to hear her father's response.

"I admit, I was initially angry when I found out. But I couldn't stay mad that long after the past few days."

"So I'm not getting punished then?"

"Oh, you still are. Just not as much."

"Can't blame me for trying."

Both gave a lighthearted chuckle. Anna decided to ask her own question just to confirm her assumption.

"Were you really protective of me for all those years because of...what happened?"

"After Elsa's disappearance, I was determined to keep you safe." Agdar gently places his hand on Anna's cheek. "The night you were born, I promised myself I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I wanted to give you the life that Elsa never got." His hand then moved away from her cheek. "But I was so warped to keeping you safe that I didn't stop to see if you were happy too. Because of that, I pushed you away, and you almost died. I am...so sorry."

A pregnant pause lingered in the air. Until Anna finally spoke up. "I know you only want to keep me safe, Papa. It took me a while to understand why you wanted to. I'm sorry for what happened to...Elsa. But I'm not a little girl anymore. I can handle myself. I mean, I still came back, didn't I?"

"You're right about that. It was relieving to hear you handled yourself well all alone out there."

When the word 'alone' was mentioned, Anna mentally frowned at herself. She felt wrong for lying to her father. The only reason she was still alive was because of the other Elsa, but she wasn't going to tell him about her. Speaking of the name...

"Papa...What was Elsa like?"

That question had caught Agdar off guard. Seeing the intrigued look in Anna's eyes, he knew she was serious. Agdar straightened himself, thinking about what to say. His lips curve into a small smile.

"Elsa was the sweetest little thing. She was smart for her young age. While she did love me and your mother, I think she was fond of me more. Everywhere I went, even to a meeting, Elsa always followed me. When she was a baby, I always managed to calm her down when your mother was unable too. We were practically inseparable. Even on my worst days, she somehow managed to brighten it up. Your mother often told me we were two peas in a pod."

Agdar trailed it off, his smile shrinking

"You really did love her, didn't you papa?" Anna asked.

"Yes, I did. Even though Elsa's gone, your mother and I still love her."

"And we love you just the same." Both father & daughter turn to see Idun walking towards them, deciding to make her presence known. The Queen knelt down next to where Agdar was sitting. "We never once considered you a replacement or a spare, Anna. If that's not enough to convince you, we'll spend every day proving it for the rest of our lives. Could you ever forgive us for not telling you about Elsa?"

"I wish you had told me sooner, but I can understand why you didn't. I forgive both of you."

Her parents gave relieved smiles.

"Can I ask you two something?"

"What is it, sweetheart?" Idun asked.

"When was Elsa taken?"

"It was about...Four months before you were born."

"The day before you got lost was the 15th anniversary of when she was taken," Agdar added.

Fifteen years...Fifteen years ago her sister was taken. Fifteen years her parents had spent suffering and dealing with all of that...alone.

"You guys definitely should've told me sooner."

"Why?" Idun wondered.

"So you both didn't have to suffer in silence."

Those words had taken the monarchs by surprise. Yet, at the same time, they were touched by them, almost to the brink of tears.

"We didn't want to put that burden you," Agdar stated. "That was another reason we never said anything. We wanted you to be happy and not let that dampen your life. I almost let it do it to me…"

"Agdar…" Idun attempted to place her hand on her husband's arm, only for him to brush it off.

"No. She needs to know this, too."

"Know what?" Anna looked at her parents with bewilderment.

It took Agdar a moment to answer.

"After what happened, I spent every moment looking for Elsa. I tried everything I could think of, but nothing helped. After two months, I had to end the searches since nothing turned up. After that I...I was different."

"Different, how?"

"The worst kind."

At those words, Anna went silent as she listened to her father.

"I shut everyone that cared about me out, including your mother. Whenever they tried to help me, I wouldn't say a word. I barely ate and slept. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Horrible nightmares. There were even brief moments when I considered ending it all just like that, but never went through with it…"

Agdar stopped himself for a moment as he tried not to choke up. Idun rubbed his arm. She didn't say anything, but Anna could see her mother's eyes telling him he didn't have to keep going. But Agdar continued on.

"When I did talk to others, it wasn't any better. I was a different man. I was so different that you would probably think I was someone else who stole my appearance. I became cold and...aggressive. After a while, I tried holding down my emotions."

"Why would you do that?"

"Conceal, don't feel. It was a mantra I would often use for important matters. I used it back then, and just a few days ago. My father taught me that mantra before he died. The reason being is that he claimed that good leaders sometimes must hide their emotions for the sake of the kingdom."

"That sounds rather unhealthy."

"It was what I was taught. I thought it would help me...but I was wrong. So wrong. All it did was build a storm inside. All it needed was the perfect opportunity to rage out. And one day, it did when we discovered the truth about Elsa's kidnapping."

15 years ago...(May 1821).

"Is this true?" Idun stammered like she couldn't believe what she had heard.

King Agdar and Queen Idun were doing their own business when they were summoned to the throne room because their captain had news for them. They both couldn't help but sit still in shock. They couldn't believe their ears when the captain brought disturbing news.

"I'm afraid so, your majesty," The Captain replied grimly. "It would seem the kidnap of Princess Elsa was an inside job. Done by one of our own guardsmen."

"Who was he?"

"His name is John Stonewall. He had been in our service for several years. He said he had met the perpetrators several weeks before your daughter's capture and conspired with them. It would explain how the kidnappers get in and out of the castle undetected."

"Have you questioned him?"

"We have. Stonewall claims that he has no idea where your daughter's captors took her."

"Are you sure?"

"He had insisted very strongly, my queen. It would seem he may as well be telling the truth."

The pregnant queen face grew grim. Her hope of finding Elsa had left just as she had regained it. They were right back to square one.

"We'll continue to further question him, your majesties." The Captain promised.

"Very well. You may go, captain," Idun dismissed him.

The Captain bowed to his rulers before leaving the throne room, leaving only the monarchs. Idun looked over at her husband. The entire time, Agdar had remained deadly silent, which had frightened Idun.

"Agdar...Please say something."

"What else is there to say?" Agdar responded rather coldly.

"There's still hope. Stonewall has to know more."

Agdar didn't respond.

"I need to be alone." He said after a few minutes.

Before Idun could even think about what to say, Agdar had already left. This left Idun alone in the eerily quiet throne room. Well, maybe not alone if she counts the unborn child in her womb.

"Oh, little one. What are we going to do?" Idun whispered to her belly.

"A guard was seriously involved?!" Anna exclaimed, horrified by the revelation.

"Unfortunately," Idun confirmed. "From what we knew, he apparently knew the kidnappers for several weeks. He insisted that he had no idea where they took or what they did to her."

"Not only that, he used to patrol near Elsa's bedroom. That's how the kidnappers knew how to get to her," Agdar added.

"Why would someone want to take a small child? Much less plot with the kidnappers? How could anyone do such a thing?!"

Agdar could hear the genuine outrage in Anna's voice. One of Anna's best traits is that she always saw the good in people. That was her big blessing, but also a curse in some ways. Anna knew bad people existed, but sometimes she can forget how evil those people can be.

"There are some people in the world that are pure...monsters, Anna. They're dark, selfish, and cruel. If they find even the slightest ray of sunshine they destroy it. I should know."

"How, papa?"

"Because I almost became a monster."

15 years ago (several hours later)...

The sound of rapid knocking aroused Idun out of her sleep. After the revelation in the throne room and Agdar's departure, she returned to the royal chambers for some peace and quiet. She had so tired as of late. Being heavily pregnant during these times didn't help matters either. She must've dozed off at one point. Another rapid knocking took place, followed by a voice.

"Your Majesty, are you in here?" The voice sounded urgent.

Idun got up from the bed. She quickly looked around and realized there hadn't been a sign that Agdar had at least been in the room. Brushing that aside, the queen went to the door. Opening it, she found a guard at the doorway—a young man she recognized as Storstrand. There was a look of fear in his eyes.

"What's going on?" Idun questioned him.

"It's the traitor Stonewall," Storstrand answered. "He's escaped, and he's running loose in the castle! I'm ordered to get you to a secure location until he's apprehended."

Idun got an unsettled look in her eyes. "Where's my husband?"

"I don't know, Your Majesty. No one had seen The King-" Before he finished, Idun quickly went into the hallways, not listening to the guard's words. "My Queen, it's not safe!"

Idun continued to ignore his words and dashed down the hall. It was late at night, making the halls dark. Despite that, Idun managed to find her way to the destination she had in mind. Finally, she arrived at the door of her husband's study. One thing she noticed was that the door was already opened. With caution, she entered the room. A breath of relief followed when she saw that no one was in.

"My Queen, you must not run off like that. Especially when a prisoner is on the lose!" Storstrand had followed her the whole way.

Idun did not listen to his words. She was focused on the vast desk where Agdar typically did his work. Instead of documents on the desk, something else had taken place: Empty bottles.

Moving closer to the desk, she picked up one of the bottles to examine it. It reeked of alcohol. Agdar wasn't much of a drinker, though there were occasions where he would drink this stuff that wasn't wine whenever he had a very stressful or terrible day, which pretty much every day for the past month was like. Very rarely did he ever drink to the point of intoxication. When he did those times Idun could recall were humorous at best or stupid at worst. But given the current situation, Idun didn't think he was in any of those states.

Something else caught Idun's eye, making her nerves rise. Under his desk was where Agdar would usually keep his sword. And a drawer in his desk was opened. That drawer is where he had typically kept his pistol. Both of which were gone from their holding places.

Now the queen was no longer nervous. She was terrified. The empty bottles on the desk. The missing weapons. All that plus his mental state...They were all the perfect ingredients for a catastrophe.

"We need to find Agdar, now!" Idun shouted.

"I'm sure we'll find your husband before Stonewall can get to him," Storstrand reassured.

"It's not that I'm worried about." Storstrand looked confused at Idun's statement. "I'm worried about what happens if Agdar finds him!"

Agdar was in his study when word got out that the prisoner had escaped. It took a little while, but he found him. The traitor soldier, Stonewall, had made his way to the rocky shore that surrounded the castle, looking for a way to escape. It was dark outside, with the moon being the only light source. For the moment, Agdar's presence was unknown to him.

The scent of alcohol surrounded the king himself. His usually combed hair was messy, his face had a stubble from the lack of shaving, and he was just a mess overall. And he was somewhat drunk. Yet he didn't care about none of that. He cared about nothing at this moment. Nothing but the man responsible for Elsa's, his little Snowflake, disappearance. Slowly, he approached the man, drawing his pistol as well.

"That's far enough..." Agdar called out, his voice colder than ice.

Stonewall quickly turned around. He jumped once he saw the king pointing a pistol at him. Even though he looked unafraid, Agdar could see the fear in his eyes. The king took several steps closer to him.

As he had gotten closer, Storstrand found his way outside. Not far he saw the escaped prisoner and the king facing each other.

"They're out here!" Storstrand call out over his shoulder.

Kai & Gerda emerged behind him. They did not expect to see The King and the traitor soldier in the same place. Nonetheless, see Agdar point his gun at him. The three decided to watch things play out, thinking things wouldn't escalate.

"Where did they take her?" Agdar demanded in a cold voice.

"Wh-Wha?" Stonewall stuttered.

"Don't you 'what' me! Where did they take my daughter?! The very princess you betrayed!"

"I-I don't know."

"You're lying! Why else would you be trying to escape?! Unless you're too much of a coward to face the consequences of your treasonous actions!"

"I swear, I don't know. I only knew those guys for several weeks. They offered me money if I helped them get in and out of the castle undetected. They never told me where they took or what they would do with her. For all I know, she's probably dead now!"

This was the confirmation that Agdar had hoped to never hear. He desperatly clung onto hope that Stonewall knew something he didn't want to share. Hearing the man's answer had destroyed those hopes. It was clear now: Elsa is gone. Never again would Agdar ever see her smile. Never again would Agdar heard the joy of her laughter. Never will Agdar ever watch her grow up. Never will she ever meet her sibling.

And the reason why was right in front of him.

"So you really don't know then?" Stonewall nodded in response.

An unsettled silence lingered in the air.

The sound of a gunshot echoing in the dark night broke it. This was followed by Stonewall shouting out in pain and clutching his bloodied shoulder. Gerda had let out a scream, while Kai & Storstrand stood frozen in shock. For they had just witnessed their king shoot someone.

Something inside Agdar had awoken. Something that had been growing for the past several months. It had been asleep until this very moment. Now, the beast was fully awakened.

While Stonewall was too focused on his wound, Agdar took that opportunity to approach him. Putting away his pistol, he punch the man in his jaw, knocking Stonewall down on the ground. Stonewall cried out in pain when he landed on his wounded shoulder, but Agdar didn't give a damn. The king started to punch Stonewall in the face repeatedly. Each punch harder than the last.

As the punches kept going on, blood was spewing all over Agdar's knuckles. But the blood was not his, as evidenced by the bloodied face on Stonewall. At that moment, the two servants and guard made a horrible realization: Agdar was out for Stonewall's blood. Guilty as the traitor was for the loss of Elsa, this was not a way to deal with it.

Without a second thought, Kai rushed to Agdar and grabbed him by his arms. The manservant struggled to try to pull Agdar away from the battered man. After a minute, Storstrand rushed to help Kai pull the rage-filled king away. All the while pleading to the king to stop.

"Don't do this, your majesty!" Kai cried out.

"He's not worth it!" Followed by Storstrand.

But Agdar ignored their words. His attention was still focused on Stonewall, who manage to get up and tried to walk away. Just seeing him move had only increased the king's madness.

"Let me go!" Agdar thrashed around like a trapped animal trying to escape

"You're better than this! Think this through!" Kai pleaded.

"LET! ME! GO! NOW!"

Agdar had managed to hit both of the men restraining him. Hard enough to knock them over. Gerda rushed to Kai's side. Now freed from their grip, Agdar pulled out his pistol again. Another shot rang out, with Stonewall being hit in the leg this time. With a newfound assurance that the man won't be escaping, Agdar intended to finish the job. But as he pulled the trigger again, there wasn't a shot this time. After a getting no shots several other times, Agdar tossed the pistol on the ground and cursed himself for not checking for the bullets. He then resorted to Plan B.

Gerda looked in horror as she saw the king draw out his sword as he approached the traitor. She yelled at him to stop several times. Even though they were a bit dazed, Kai and Storstrand still attempted to reason with Agdar from their position.

Despite their best efforts, their words did not sway Agdar. The world was tuned out as he put all his focus on Stonewall. The man was on his front trying to clench his shoulder & leg wound while also crawling away slowly, but he did not get far. Agdar went over to his side, sword tight around his grip. He kicked the man's side, knocking him over on his back. The king placed a foot on the man's chest, pushing his weight down hard.

"Please…" Stonewall begged, fear evident in his eyes. "Have mercy…"

Mercy? How dare he ask for mercy?! Especially when he didn't give any to Elsa! Just hearing those words further infuriated Agdar. Well, the man will soon be quiet.

Slowly, the king raised his sword high above his own head. All he needs to do is make one swing to give the man the punishment he deserves. One quick swing and then it'll be done. Agdar was about to bring down the sword...

"AGDAR NO!"

A familiar feminine voice screamed out his name as a firm but gentle grip was felt around his wrist. Turning his head, he saw the sight of his wife.

It didn't take long for Idun to find her husband. And when she did, she was horrified at the sight of Agdar shooting and then beating Stonewall to a bloody pulp and watched Kai, Gerda, and Storstrand's failed attempts to stop him. Once she saw Agdar pull out his sword, Idun knew right there that she had to intervene before Agdar did something he would regret for the rest of his life.

Both husband and wife stared at each other. Idun's grip was still around Agdar's wrist. She looked into his eyes and saw the fury in them. Despite the anger that is fueling him, Idun did not intend to stand down.

"Agdar...Please don't do this." Idun begged with glassy eyes. "This is not the way, and you know that. This is not who you are. You're not a killer. You're a good man with a kind heart. That's the man I know you are. I want the man I know back. Please...Come back."

Agdar's eyes soften up as Idun's words registered in his brain. The red that clouded his vision was soon cleared. He took this moment to look at the damage he caused, lowering his sword as he did. Agdar could see Gerda helping Kai to his feet. A cut was seen across his forehead. Storstrand looked to be clutching his side. All three were looking at him with concern, but they also looked a bit apprehensive.

Finally, Agdar turned to Stonewall. Taking his foot off the man's chest, he looked over the wounds he had given him. Agdar's grip on his sword loosened to the point where a loud clang was heard. With the sword no longer in his hand, Idun released Agdar wrist.

With both of his hands now free, Agdar looked at them. Blood covered covered them, knuckles & fingers included. Blood that belonged to Stonewall's battered face.

All rational thought returned to The King, along with a pang of guilt that hit him like a brick wall. In the past, Agdar had killed before, but those were for lawful executions he ordered on criminals. This was different. He had almost unlawfully killed a man with his own hands. While Stonewall was not innocent, he was still defenseless and did not instigate the fight. Agdar, The King, a man who was supposed to be an example for the people, including children, almost murdered a man in cold blood. He didn't act like a king. Instead, he became the opposite of such...

...A monster.

"Oh God…" Agdar choked up, still looking at his blood covered, trembling hands. His legs shook till they gave out, causing him to land on his knees. "What have I done…?"

A gentle touch was felt on his shoulder. Turning his head, he saw Idun kneeling next to him. Idun moved her hand from his shoulder to his cheek. Agdar looked into her gentle blue eyes.

Without warning, Idun wrapped her arms around Agdar, pulling him into a hug. It took him a moment before Agdar returned the gesture. He buried his head into her neck. As the tears fell from his eyes, he muttered the exact words over and over as he sobbed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

"Shhh..." Idun rubbed his head reassuringly. "Everything's okay now."

They both remained in their spots until more guards came and apprehended Stonewall. They wondered why he was so beaten up. Later they would be told that the king was trying to stop Stonewall, and they ended up in a brawl. Little did they know that wasn't the case.

Those who had witnessed Agdar's outburst never let that memory leave them. It had forever become known to them as 'The Incident.'

Anna didn't say anything once her parents finished the story. She couldn't really believe that her father, someone she knew to be so kind and gentle, had almost murdered a man. It was genuinely shocking.

"I understand if you don't believe it, but every word I said was true," Agdar told her. "I was a monster..."

Agdar turned away from Anna. At any moment, he was expecting her to run off again or to start yelling at him. The longer the silence, the bigger his hope for Anna to shout, scream, or say anything. Instead, she did something that he did not anticipate: She hugged him.

"You're not a monster." While still shocked at this revelation, Anna knows that her father was nothing like that. She could tell the amount of regret in his voice.

It was enough for Agdar. Those words just made him feel better. He returned the hug to his daughter. At the same time, he gave a quick glance to Idun, who just smiled. Soon, she would join in on the group hug.

I admit this chapter did make me a bit...emotional when writing it. I even had to take several breaks in order to clear my head.

We finally had an explanation on the infamous event know as 'The Incident'. Might've been inspired to write this part from a certain scene from Big Hero 6. (I even had an earworm that played parts of Silent Sparrow from the BH6 soundtrack while writing this). So yeah, Agdar had a total 'Baymax, Destroy' moment.

I could imagine that if someone was somewhat responsible for the loss of someone I love, I probably be pissed off at them. And maybe want revenge. It is natural for humans to desire such a thing. However, there are still lines to be crossed. If we cross that line we be no better than them. Agdar was lucky that Idun had stopped him.

I know Anna's reaction to 'The Incident' may be a bit underwhelming, but considering that in the movie she still loved Elsa, even though the latter nearly killed her twice I think it wouldn't be to OOC for her to be that forgiving.

Oh I manage to sneak in the "Life's Too Short Reprise" in here.

On a minor note, I sure hope everyone had a happy Easter. Also, my birthday is coming up (4/4). I'll be turning 21 years old (same age as Elsa. FTW!).

Thanks for the favs, follows, and reviews. Happy Reading.