"Did you really have to do that to Syn?" Adam was looking up at thecloset, thankfullydistracted from whatever the fuck he was trying to do to Lucifer's neck.
"Yes." The Devil put both hands on his hips looking at the closed closet door. "Syn, you are going to stay here and be very quiet. Got that?It'sa fun new game!"
" Hurray! I am good at games!"Hervoice was slightly muffled by theclosetbut she was still clearly audible.
"Yep.So,I knowyou'llbe great at this!It'sthe quiet game!" Lucifer insisted. He liked Syn,really,he did. She was good company when he was wallowing inhisown misery. However, despite her cheerful and friendly persona, she was a liability. The last thing he needed was for Charlie to show up and Syn to replay all the drunken text messagesLucifer hadsobered up enough not to send. Synwouldn'tdo it out of malice, either (which somehow made it worse) but rather out of a genuine conviction that she was just doing her job. No. Syn was not ready to meet his daughter.
"That feelskindamean." Adam had his arms folded over his chest, looking at the closed door. Lucifer was standing on his right side, so Adam's expression was a bit hard toread throughthe inky darkness of his Sinner complexion.
"When did you start giving a fuck about what's mean, asshole? You are literally a murderer. Does my putting a ' sentient trashcan', as you so eloquently called her, into a closet cross some sort of line for you? Like: slaughtering Sinners is a-okay but inconveniencing Syn?That'stoo fucking far. Now you suddenly have a moral conscience!" As Lucifer was ranting, Adam turned his head to look directly at him, making it easier for Lucifer to read his expression. Adam looked... concerned? No that wasprobably atrick of the light. Lucifer squinted for a moment,yeah, no Adam just looked annoyed.
"Sinners are one thing, but Syn hasn't done anything wrong. Other than vote for you. Actually... why do I care? That's kind of a good point." Adam patted his hand against the closet door. "If you had voted for me, this wouldn't have happened."
" Master likes to win! I like to make Master happy!"
"And you staying in here will make me very happy!" How was Lucifer being guilt tripped by a virtual assistant? Nope. Hecouldn'tlet Charlie know anything about how he had been since her mother had left. He had to be strong to at least his daughter. "It's only for a little bit."
"Yes Master!"
"And you," Lucifer turned to Adam, "don't you have something to clean? Like... every inch of this goddamn house because it will be a cold fucking day down here before I let Charlie see her childhood home in disarray."
"Yeah, no. Igottamake something fresh for Charlie.I'mnot giving you the advantage by having your food be hot and fresh whilemine'sbeen sitting out. The pancakes would be soggy, and even the princess doesn't deserve that."
"The house, Adam."
"Magic it clean, fucker." Adam flipped the middle finger as he started backing away. "Cause thatain'tmy problem."
"It's your actual job,dickmunch! You are the fucking maid!"
"We both know I'm not." Adam continued to walk away. Lucifer was in a bit of a panic. He could magic the house into some semblance of cleanliness... except... he couldn't. His magic had been acting all out of sorts since... well... since Adam had fucking bit him.Thus,had happened oncebefore, justonce- prior to Adam's arrival. But once Adam actually Fell everything had gone back to some semblance of normal. Which made sense. As much as Lucifer hated to acknowledge anything about his past in relation to Heaven, he had been an Archangel. On some level, before Adam had actually arrived in Hell, Lucifer had been sensing him. While he was not the Morning Star any longer, he hadretainedenough of his angelic nature to make him the most powerful being in Hell. Hell was connected to Lucifer in the same way he had once been connected to Heaven. And when something threatened it, Lucifer would become aware, very quickly. The little blip with his magic that Cain hadwitnessed, was more...self-inflicted. Lucifer was stressed, burdened by a sense of dread that came from knowing something was wrong and being unable to pinpoint what exactly it was. In the end? It had been Adam's (literally) toxic ass tossed from Heaven, infused with a dark, ancient sort of magic the likes of which Lucifer had not seen in an Angel since he and those narcissistic fuck-faces known as the Archangels had been on good terms. (Not since he hadto lead them honestlyand that was an entirely different disaster.)
But this time?
This time things were consistent. His magic was getting... weaker. He had seen that stupid fucking bite heal up with his owneyesbut he would still find flecks of gold on his collar after a particularly grueling day. Even something as simple as summoning food was starting to become a struggle. Hecouldn'tbe weak. He was the King of Hell, goddammit. He was the only thing stopping Hell from falling apart.Sure,it was insufferable chaos, but Charlie had fallen in live with it- and it was their home.Maybe Luciferhad taken too much of a risk by not just killing Adam the moment he realized what a risk he posed.However, theidea that Adam had gotten Corrupted while technically being in Heaven, hinted at something far worse on the horizon. Lucifer had no choice but to spare Adam, he was the only lead he had. (It had nothing to do withempathy,surely, itwas a matter of purelogistics. He was theDevil, after all. And Adam was a cruel monster. A cruel monster who had helped Syn decorate herself.)
Fuck. Luciferdidn'thave time for an existential crisis! Syn had that scheduled for tonight at nine. He had to get the mansion I shape for it to be passable for Charlie! At least the areas she would see.
"Lysander!" Lucifer burst into the dining area where Lysander was eating the pancakesoff ofSyn's plate- at least the ones Adam had made. Wow. Rude.
"Yo." Lysander looked like a deer caught in the headlights, eyes wide, fork hanging out of his mouth, as Lucifer came sliding in at full speed.
"You need to clean!"
"Clean... my plate? I already did. I also ate all the bacon. Like... all of it."
"No. Also, you didn't eat the bacon I made." Lucifer looked a tad annoyed. "You never had a problem with my food before."
"Yeah,but like, I know Adam's making more and I amkindasaving room."
"His cooking isn't that good."
"You didn't even taste it." Lysander gestured to Lucifer's untouched plate.
"I don't eat peasant food." It was the only excuse Lucifer could think of. "And Adam probably poisoned my plate."
"It's not poisoned with anything but victory." Adam came sweeping in carrying a plate of fresh bacon that smelled incredible. Lucifer could tell itwasn'treal meat and that just made itall the moretantalizing. "Does Charlie have dietary restrictions?"
"No. But shewon'tlike your cooking. It looks... terrible." Lucifer looked at the plate, the food looked... fine. It certainlydidn'thave the commercial quality appearance of Lucifer's food. But the aroma alone was making his mouth water, which hewouldn'tadmit. "And you need to be cleaning, not cooking."
"Not doing that." Adam walked back toward the kitchen. Lucifer followed him. Hecouldn'trisk using magic to make everything perfect this close to Charlie arriving. If he fucked it up, his daughter would be concerned abouthimand he did NOT need her stressing about anything else right now.
"Listen here, fuck-face, you're the maid whether you like it or n-"
"QUACK!" There was a loud, booming quack as soon as Lucifer followed Adam across the threshold into the kitchen. Quackers started hurtling toward him going right past Adam who was mixing something in a bowl.
"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Lucifer managed to jump back across the doorway into the dining room. Quackers stopped just shy of the doorframe.
"Quackquackquackquackquack!"
"I made you, you goddamn traitor." The Devil narrowed his eyes at his rogue security duck. Once he was certain that Quackerswasn'tgoing to go any further, he held one of the swinging double doors to the kitchen openin order toglare at his invention. It was important to reiterate how upset he was that Quackers allowed Adam to run amok in his kitchen. It wasfunny, almost, that Luciferactually spokeevery language known to animal, man, or extraplanar being- it was somethinghehadretainedfrom his former Archangel status. However, he had no fucking idea what Quackers was saying. Itwasn'teven real quacking. It was just the word.
"Is this guy bothering you, Quackers?" Adam walked over, mixing bowl still in one arm.
"Quack."
"Here." Adam grabbed the door from Lucifer's hand and started pulling it slowly closed. "I got you, dude."
"Are you fuckingserious, rightnow?" Lucifer could have easily gotten the door back open with raw strength alone, as Adam was no match for him. However, he could foresee Quackers spitting fire into his face, and while thatwouldn'thurt him, it would be inconvenient for Lucifer to have to explain a scorched floor to Charlie. "You're a shithead, I hope you know that!" Lucifer shouted through the closed door. Fucking Adamwasn'tworth the dirt from which he had been sculpted. Right. Back to his original plan. "Let's get your ass up Lysander."
"Me?" He stopped, mid bite (of Lucifer's pancakes, from the looks of it). "Fuck that.I'msecurity. Not my job."
"Your job is what I tell you. Right now, it's helping move ducks out of the Hallway from here to the door." Lucifer clapped his hands together. Lysander looked at the food on the plate, then back at Lucifer, clearly considering his options.
"Do I get extra pay for this? Becauseit'snot likeit's my mess. I'm a clean guy." While this was true, it was also irrelevant. Lysanderdidn'tcreatethe majority ofthe mess, ifany, sincethe disaster that had consumed the mansionpredated Lysander's arrival.
"What if I just fire you?" Lucifer narrowed his eyes.
"You wouldn't." Lysander seemed oddly confident in himself for an intern that Lucifer had only hired as a drunken mistake. He was good at his job- or at least good enough that Luciferhadn'treally developed and complaints during his internship- but the point was that he wasreally justsome rich Hellborn's sympathy hire. (Was Lysander even getting any benefits from being here if he was just a future recipient of nepotism?It'snot like his resumé mattered.)
"And why is that?"
"I keep Adam entertained."
"Heyshitlord," as if on cue, Adam burst out from the kitchen covered in flour. "Do we have an ETA on Charlie? I want to make sure the food is fresh as fuck when she gets here."
"Shut up Adam." Lucifer was still looking at Lysander. He sighed. "Tine and a half for all the time you spend cleaning."
"Deal." Lysander held out his hand and the Devil begrudgingly shook it. Adam looked between the two for a moment.
"I feel like I missedsomething, butI also don't give a shit. So do we have that ETA?"
"Lysander's extra pay is coming out of yourpaycheck, soI would at least pay some attention." Lucifer smirked as Adam's face fell.
"Oh,come the fuck on! Ican'tclean AND cook, asshole!"
"Not my problem. You're the maid."
"That's not fair I-"
"That's Hell, bitch!" Lucifer clapped his hands together. This could be salvaged, assuming Charlie took her sweet time to get to the mansion. He wanted to be sure she was impressed,notjust by his cooking, but by how well he was doing. So long as shedidn'tstray off the beaten path (just the dining area, thefoyer, and the hallways between), she should see her father as the perfectly healthy, well adjusted, and mentally sound King and dad that he truly was. Hewasn'tconcerned about Adam spewing his usual bullshit about how Lucifer was weak and depressed because Charlie would never believe anything from Adam. Also, could a depressed guy make all those ducks? No. (But Charlie reallyshouldn'tbe exposed to all the ducks. They were not ready for her yet. She might get the wrong idea.)
Adam returned to the kitchen and Lysander was cleaning up the mess oh the table first. Syn really had splattered sauce everywhere when she was trying to eat her pancakes.Maybe Lucifershouldactually giveher a mouth at some point. Or at least arms. She wasa pretty goodassistant, buthaving real limbs might help her do better. When that was all done, then maybe Syn could have a proper meeting with Charlie. She was stilla far cry fromtheMetatron, butitwasn'tas if his daughter would have any frame ifreferences. Hell would freeze over a thousand times before Lucifer would allow his daughter to befaceto face the that unfeeling, robotic bitch. If he could do one thing in his damned existence it would be to protect Charlie from thehurthe had suffered. She had brought a light back to his life that he thought had long ago been snuffed out; he wanted that light to grow, to shine, until one day Hell would be the paradise Lucifer had tried desperately to recreate. Hewouldn'tlet Heaven get in the way. Not this time.
Hehadn'tbeen helping Lysander with the cleaning for long before there was a knock on the door. Fear struck him like a thousand bricks as he looked desperately around. No. Nothing was out of place. Everything looked fine.Maybe itwasn'tas perfect as Luciferusuallyliked, bit it was passable. So, he took a deep breath and ran to the main doors, throwing them open. "Charlie!"
"Hey dad!" She smiled, leaning in to give him a hug. He eagerly squeezed her back. His daughter could make all the stress melt away in a moment- though it would return athousand-foldthe moment she let go. "It's good to hear from you!"
"And it is always great to see you, my little apple pie." Lucifer pulled back but still held to both his daughter's arms. "Thank you so much for coming. We are in need of someone with good taste."
"Okay?" Charlie looked down at him she was quiet for a moment as the two just stared at one another. "Can I come in?"That'sright, Lucifer was standing directly in the doorway blocking Charlie from entering, physical holding her arms.
"Oh, of course." He laughed stepping aside. Come in, come in!"
"I will admit I was a bit surprised at the invitation. I'm curious about what point I am supposed to be proving." Charlie stepped inside, looking around. She seemed happy so far. Perfect. Lucifer was nailing this interaction.
"You just have to eat two plates of food and tell us which one you like better.It'sokay to be honest " Lucifer started to lead her toward the dining area. "I know my food is literally the taste of your childhood," Lilith was a hit cook, "and that I am guaranteed to win."
"A cooking competition? Really?" Charlie seemed amused by the idea. "I'm surprised Adam cooks..."
"I mean, if you can call the charred shit he puts on the plate food..." Lucifer gave a forceful laugh.
"Is it that bad?" Charlie sounded surprised.
"I liked it." Lysander spoke up as he rounded the corner, feather duster in hand. "Hence why your dad wants a second opinion."
"Oh!" Charlie turned quickly to face the intern. "It's you." Her eyes quickly shifted to the feather duster in his hand. "You're... dusting? I thought you worked security."
"I wear a lot of hats." Lysander gave a shrug.
"Dad, why did you fire all the staff? I have actually been meaning to ask you about that." Charlie turned her attention back to her father.
"Eh, they were annoying me." Lucifer gave adismissive, noncommittalresponse. "Distractions, really. I never was much for being interrupted." He waved away the question. "And now Adam is technically in charge of cleaning.So,you know that's going nowhere." (Adam hadactually nodequite a bit to make parts of the mansionpresentable, butLucifer would be damned again before he would ever admit it to Charlie.)
"I'm not sure why you would expect him to help with... anything." Charlie admitted.
"I don't. Butit'sfunny to tell himhe'smymaidnow. He hates it." Lucifer chuckled to himself.
"How is Adam doing on the redemption exercises I taught him?" Charlie continued walking as Lysander went back to dusting.
"Terrible. But that's not on you, crabapple." He assured his daughter quickly. "He's just a shitty human, but we're used to that here in Hell. And if anyone can get him out of my hair and make him Heaven's problem, it's you." He took Charlie by the hand, giving her a loving squeeze. "I believe in you."
"Awwww, thank you dad." Her whole face lit up at the compliment and Lucifer felt as if his entire soul was lighter, the weight of his past was meaningless under the radiant smile of his child. Charlie was the gift that Helldidn'tdeserve.
"Buttering her up prior to the competition is cheating, you know." Adam came from the kitchen with two plates of pancakes. One was Lucifer's that he had summoned, the otherwasthe lesserpancakeAdam had baked. He put both plates down at the head of the dining table before vanishing into the kitchen again.
"Take a seat Char-Char!" Lucifer quickly scrambled to pull the chair out for her. The dining room looked clean. Though the massive table did feelrather emptywith only himself and Charlie. Not that the few family dinners felt any better in recent years with Lilith and Charliealmost atopposite ends of the table from him. The memory made his heart sink again. Lucifer shook himself before taking the seat beside Charlie. Hewasn'tgoing to miss the opportunity to have a meal with his daughter; destroying Adam in a competition was just the cherry on the cake.
"Bacon and eggs." Adam came back out, holding more plates of Lucifer's food and his own. "I have vegetarian bacon if you prefer on this plate." He looked over at Lucifer. "I just put out the food you already summoned. If you re-summon itnow,she'll know which is which and that will be cheating."
"I mean, summoned food stays hot and fresh forever so it's not even a problem." Lucifer reallydidn'twant to try and summon food again, especially in front of Charlie, given how the last attempt had been such a fucking disaster.
"We made orange juice, but is there anything else you want to drink?" Adam ignored his comment, looking back at Charlie.
"Orange juice is fine, thank you." Charlie was far too polite for her own good. Adam vanished back into the kitchen again. She watched him go.
"He is doing much better." She seemed quite pleased. "He didn't insult either of us. I feel like he wouldn't even have asked me my juice or dietary preference when he first got here."
"He's not beingnice;he's trying to win. Big difference." Luciferdidn'twant to rain on Charlie's parade, but at the same time it feltcruelerto let her get her hopes up about Adam.
"I still think he's improved." Charlie looked at the food in front of her. "It all smells so good. I am actually pretty hungry."
"Two glasses of juice." Adam came back down, slamming the glasses on the table. "Let's do this." He sat in the seat across from Charlie. "Honest opinion."
"Right." Shenodded;herexpression serious. Lucifer hated to admit he mightactually losethis if Adam had real cooking skill. It was unlikely, since something as mundane as cooking wouldprobably bebeneath the First Man's suffocating ego. Charlie looked at the food for a moment before taking a bite of Lucifer's. "It's so good!" She smiled contently. Then she took a bite of Adam's. Her eyes widened and she swallowed her bite. "Holy fuck that tastes incredible." Holy fuck indeed.
"HA!" Adam jumped up from his seat so quickly Charlie almost spit out her drink in surprise.
"You made that!? Adam,it'sdelicious! I had no idea you knew how to cook." She was so sweet and polite to a man who reallydidn'tdeserve her kindness. Lucifer frowned. How could Charlie think Adam's shitty food was delicious? Was she Corrupted? No. That was impossible. He would never let her evenhave the opportunity tobe in a situation where she could have gotten it. Plus, she was his daughter. She wasprobably immunelike he was- and hedefinitely WASimmune. No stupid flecks of blood on the collar would say otherwise.
"Yeah, Evie hated cooking with a passion. She used to tell me She would rather give birth again thancook." Adam laughed at the memory. For a moment Lucifer could see traces of the good man Adam once was underneath all the hate and vitriol. Outside of crass and crude comments about his (alleged- though Lucifer doubted their veracity) sexualexploits, Adamhadn'treally voiced any interest in any kind of hobby. And The Devil had certainly never seen the newly Fallen's face light up the way it did when he reminisced. "I actually found I enjoyed it. I remember when I told Evie sheactually grabbedmy face," Adam put both hands on either side of his cheeks, squishing them, "like this. And looked me dead in the eye and she just said: ' Trade you for the rest of eternity. You cook. I clean up.' And that's how we did it."
"Evie, you mean Eve?" Charlie seemed amused by Adam's story.
"I called her Evie..." Adam's smile faltered for a moment. Lucifer cleared his throat to cause any sort of distraction. Hewasn'tsure how much of a sore spot Eve was for Adam. (Hecouldn'timagine it was a topic he would want to discuss with the daughter of the man who screwed them both over. No. No. Lucifer had helped. It was Heaven who was in the fucking wrong.) The last thing he needed was Adam to get all biting and growling at the dinner table.
"I call bullshit on this food being good." Lucifer's voiceseemed to snapAdam out of his thoughts.Probably forthe best. The past was a terrible place to dwell. "First of all, look at it.It'sall...you know... bad looking."
"Is that seriously the best insult you have?" Adam raised an eyebrow at him, ormaybe heraised both. It was so fucking hard to tell with the coloration of his skin and hair.
"I mean, I could dobetterbut I feel like your food is insulting enough on its own." To prove his point. Lucifer picked up one of the pancakes with his fork and let it flop sloppily down on the plate.
"You're just mad you lost." Adam scoffed. Perfect. Adam was back to his intolerable self. That meant Lucifer's distraction had been a success. Which was good in the sense that Charlie was safe, but it sucked because Lucifer had to deal with Adam's shitty personality. Constantly. As if Hellwasn'tbad enough.
"No. Charlie is just being nice because she is an absolute treasure that you do not des-" Lucifer's rant was cut off by the most exquisite pancake he had tasted in a long time.Apparently, whilehe was talking, Charlie had cut a small piece of the pancakes Adam hadmade, andput them on her fork. While Lucifer was explaining the situation, Charlie had taken the opportunity to shove that piece in his mouth. He sat quietly for a moment chewing the food, savoring the flavor. Holy fucking shit. Adam could cook. Lucifer swallowed, staying quiet for a moment longer before giving a quiet, "Oh." Adam's face would have been split in half with how wide he was grinning.
"Get wrecked."
"I mean," Lucifer recovered quickly, "it's fine, I guess." He took a piece of the vegetarian bacon. God fucking damn it. It was excellent. Even the goddamn orange juice tasted better than what he had summoned up.
"I will take my golden cookware now." Adam relaxed back into his chair looking so smug one might have thoughthehad won the entire war between Heaven and Hell.
"You bet him golden cookware? Thisisn'ta repeat of what happened in Georgia, is it?" Charlie looked back over at her dad.
"No!And also, I won that.It'sjust that humans love an underdog story. It wouldn't have been nearly as popular if they kept the original ending where I kicked Johnny's ass andnow,he plays in LuLuWorld forme weekly." Lucifer huffed, grabbing theplateand begrudgingly starting to eat the pancakes Adam had made. "And you know what else they left out of the song? Johnny was a serial killer.Yeah. Thatdoesn'tget amention,does it?" Adam and Charlie exchanged glances.
"You're just mad you lost." Adam replied flatly. Charlie put her hand on her dad's shoulder.
"Hey, think of this as a good thing! You helped Adam rediscover something he enjoyed! That could be a great step toward Redemption!"
"Can it?" Luciferfailed tosee the connection. But he trusted Charlie. Though,maybe hewas thinking about this all wrong. Adam was an excellent cook, on par with Cain. But Lucifer's had to pay for Cain's cooking. Adam's labor was free. "Very well, Adam," he finished the pancakes, tapping his mouth with a napkin. His back was straight, his posture regal and commanding. "You have won the right to cook for me whenever I command it."
"Ex-fucking-scuseme?" Adam's eyes narrowed. "I want my shitty golden cookware."
"You will get it," Lucifer waved off his annoyance. "And you will use it to prepare anything I want. I deem your audition worthy of serving me."
"Wait. The fuckareyou talking about. This was a competition not a fucking-"
"Congratulations, Adam. Charlie, why not give us some celebratory fireworks?" Lucifer smiled to his daughterwhosewhole face lit up.
"I love making fireworks!" Charlie raised her hand and the air around Adam came alive with glittering lights of celebration as he sat staring blankly at Lucifer. (He was glad. Charlie had decided to do the light show, hedidn'twant to risk using his magic and more than necessary. Plus, anything to make his daughter feel more included.)
"I won. I beat you." Adam was staring right at him.
"Yes. You did." Lucifer nodded his head. "Hence all the fireworks. Not sure how you missed that."
"Why do I feel like I lost?"
"Why indeed?" It was Lucifer's turn to smirk. Perfect. Through his clever interpretation of events, he still came out on top. The way it should be. "Charlie, whatare you doing, golden delicious?"Instantly, Lucifer'sattention was on his daughter who was starting to get up from the table.
"Oh?" Charlie seemed surprised by the suddenness if his reaction. "I was just getting more juice." She held up her empty glass in her hand.
"Nonsense. Sit, sit." Lucifer tugged on her arm pulling her back into the chair. "Adam can get it for you, since he is the one who made it."
"Adam can what now?" Adam spoke up.
"Go get my daughter some of your delicious juice. I would summon her some, but you know how much better thehandmadestuff is supposed to be." Lucifer did not want Charlie to get more juice. The juice was in the kitchen, and the kitchen was a fucking minefield because of Quackers. Charlie did not need to meet Quackers. That would raise all kinds of questions, the answers to which Luciferwasn'tready to divulge. Hedidn'thave the desire to spend the time on the necessary self-reflection to explain why the fuck he made Quackersandwhat had gone wrong with him. Lucifer locked eyes with Adam across the table. The First Man opened his mouth, he looked ready to say something, but decided against it.
"Dad, maybe try saying please?" Charlie was still holding her glass, looking as if she wouldreally ratherjust get the juice herself. Lucifercouldn'tallow that.
"Say what now?" He was a bit surprised by his daughter's comment.
"If you want Adam to make improvements in his own behavior, it could help to set a good example." Charlie kept her tone cheery but firm. "We all know he probably had shitty ones in Heaven."
"Y... yeah." Luciferdidn'twant to think too much about Heaven. "But Charlie, apple pie, it's Adam."
"People, even people we don't like," Charlie visibly cringed looking over at the Fallen First Man, "deserve some amount of respect."
"Is Adam people? Have we made that executive decision?" Lucifer's face fell a bit. Charlie frowned.
" Dad."
"Come on, Char-Char,youknow how much he sucks." Lucifer gestured toward Adam who snorted at the comment. "Oh,shut the fuck up."
"You know what?" Charlie sighed, shaking her head. "I can get my ownju-"
"Adam, can you please refill Charlie's drink?" Lucifer was stumbling over his words with how fast he said them. If having to show basic politeness to Adam would jeep Charlie away from Quackers, it would be fucking worth it. Adam met his gaze, taking a long, purposeful drink from his own glass while wearing a smug expression that only made Lucifer want to strangle him.
"Why yes, I can do that." Adam slowly got to his feet, offering his hand out toward Charlie who handed him her cup. "Thank you for asking so politely." He was laying it onreally thickwith the fake politeness. Lucifer's expression soured.
"Thank you, Adam." Charlie smiled at him, though Lucifer could still see the mistrust in her eyes when she looked at him. The Devil wished he could make it easier on Charlie, not expose her to the man who has caused Hell so much heartbreak. But Charlie had a will one thousand times stronger than his own and was able to look the monster in the eye and say thank you. He envied her.
"You are welcome, Charlie." Adam was still using over-the-top politeness in his voice to rub the situation in Lucifer's face. But bothMorningstarsseemed content to ignore him. He took the glass andvanishedback into the kitchen.
"He is getting better..." Charlie was watching as Adam took his leave.
"That's all thanks to you " Lucifer reached over and squeezed her arm. "You are making so much progress." More than she would ever know. Adam was not just getting betteremotionally, butCharlie's efforts were helping what was left of his humanity clawitsway through the toxic Corruption that was trying to consume the very soul of the First Man. "You should be canonized as a fucking Saint for putting up with him. You know that right?" Charlie laughed andLucifer felt a genuine smile light up his face.
"It's not easy, and I promised Vaggie the moment he fucks up she gets to kill him."
"That's fair." Lucifer would have to give his future daughter-in-law something nice to compensate for all of Adam's bullshit. "I have some old weapons you could use."
"Stuff you kept? From Heaven?" Charlie looked genuinely curious. Lucifer felt his heart sink into his stomach. She would ask him about Heaven from time to time. Not often, and his noncommittal answersprobably deterredher from pushing too much. He could feel his smile start to falter a bit.
"Well, no. I didn't really get to keep anything. Not like they gave me a ' Your damned forever' gift basket. Just some swords and shit Carmilla has found."
"O-oh." Charlie's face fell a bit. Lucifer faltered for a moment. Itwouldn'thurt to at least give her a little something. She just wanted to know about him. Thatwasn'ta crime. It was flattering, actually, it'sjust that Lucifer was content to keep his past buried far away from Charlie.
"I had a bow."
"A bow?" Charlie perked up.
"Yeah, I made it myself. It was this big,goldand white bow," he made the gesture as if drawing back a bow string. "And I would use it to shoot stars into the night sky."
"Thay sounds amazing! Can I see your bow!?"
"I... don't have it anymore." He had to pick his next words carefully. "They took it from me." That wasmore or less whathad happened, minus thegorydetails.
"Dad, that's so sad..." Charlie reached over, wrapping her arms around her dad, and giving him a hug despite the awkward angle. Lucifer hugged her back, squeezing her tightly to him.
"It's okay. Idon'tneed it. I have everything I ever needed right here."
"Wow. That is sappy even by holy standards." Adam was back, and it was like the room lost a bit of its light. Lucifer let go of Charlie as Adam put the glass in front of her. "I had to make some more. Sorry about the wait."
"It's fine. Thank you." Charlie smiled before taking a sip. "Why don't I help you either the dishes?"
"Oh Charlie no." Lucifercouldn'tcatch a break. His daughter's good heart was constantly trying to get into the kitchen. Unintentional, thoughit was, Lucifer found himself struggling to find ways to keep her from uncovering the kitchen secrets. This had sounded much easier in his head. Why couldn't reality meet expectation just this one time? "You don't have to do that. We have a maid."
"Adam cooked, it's only fair I help clean." Charlie started gathering her dishes. "It's how you did things with Eve, right?" She looked over at Adam who looked more confused than anything else.
"What I mean is," panic was setting in as Lucifer grabbed his own plates, "you don't have to do the dishes because I have it!" Hecouldn'tgo in and risk Quackers making any noise.
"Dad, seriously, you don't have to baby me.It'sdishes. I do them all the time at the Hotel." Charlie looked unamused by his desperate antics. Lucifer cleared his throat.
"Yes but," worst case scenario, Lucifer made all the dishes explode or something. He could handle that. But he was backed into a corner. "I can do this." He snapper his fingers and there was a loud pop as all at once the doors flew open and the plates turned into butterflies and fluttered away. Charlie looked at her now-empty hands wordlessly. Lucifer gave an awkward: "Tadaaaaa~" shaking his hands dramatically.
"I have a lot of questions..." Charlie finally spoke up.
"I know, neat trick. I just thought you might enjoy your old man's magic flair." Lucifer was silently willing Adam to keep his mouth shut about the incident when he had tried making the food. Adamdidn'tseem all that interested in Lucifer's magical mess-up, so it hadprobably goneover his head. Thank the stars that Adam was dumb as shit. Otherwise, he would be in deep trouble.
"Right. That certainly was... dramatic." Charlie trailed off as she saw something yellow moving in the kitchen as the doors were swinging closed. "Oh,what's that?" She walked toward the kitchen door pushing it open as Lucifer jumped to his feet.
"Oh,don't worry about that!"
"I just remembered I left a mess in the kitchen." Adam was also on his feet pushing past Charlie, almost shoving her put of the way. "But if Lucifer is helpingclean,I should leave a bigger one."
"Hey!" Charlie tried to go back to thedoorbut Lucifer grabbed her by the arm.
"Wow that was so fucking rude for Adam to do that. What a sack of dicks. We should leave him to think about his actions in silence."
"Dad, what the fuck is going on?" Charlie pulled her hand away from him. Goddammit. Adam may have been a moron, but Charlie was clever. So clever she was screwing Lucifer over in his attempts to assure her that he was a well-adjusted divorcee whodidn'tmiss her mom at all. "Why are you being weird?"
"I'm not being weird." Lucifer nearly choked on his own offended gasp. He really needed to get better at lying to Charlie's face. The awkward deflectionwasn'treally saving face for him.
"That's just how he always is." Adam was either helping or being insulting. If Lucifer had to guess, he would assume the Fallen Human was just being a dick.
"No. I mean, yes." Charlie faltered for a moment. "But this is different."
" MASTER!"
"Ah fuck." Like the ominous plodding of the hooves of the Four Horsemen as they brought about Armageddon, the distant wail of Syn from the hallway sent fear and dread right to Lucifer's core.
"Um, dad?" Charlie crossed her arms over her chest. "Is someone else here?"
"No."
" Maaaaaaaasteeeeeeer!"
"I mean yes. Kind of." Lucifer was silently cursing his luck. Why would anything ever work out in his favor? It was fucking Hell. His eternity wascomprisedof all theworst-casescenarios he could imagine. "But it's not what you think."
"I don't know what I think." Charlie narrowed her eyes. "Becauseyou won't fucking tell me anything. Why are you acting so weird? Are you dating again?"
"What!? No!" Lucifer almostcouldn'thear his own reply over the sound of Adam's cackling laughter. Lucifer turned tolookatAdam who was doubled over, grabbing his chest. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all. This is amazing." Adam gave him a thumbs up and Lucifergloweredat him.
"Seriously?"
"I am not trying to pry, but if you are seeing someone, I would rather find out from you than the news..." Charlie was starting to look distressed. How could things deteriorate so quickly? Everything had been fucking fine before Lucifer's dumbass magic had fucked him over. He scratched at his next trying to fabricate a believable lie, but his time was up.
" Master! I am free of the closet!" Like a cylindrical, metal beacon, Syn came flying in at full speed and smacking Lucifer directly in the face.
"Mazel tov." Adam snorted.
"Dad?" Charlie just sounded confused as Syn- who was still incrediblysticky, andwearing those ridiculous googly eyes and fake lashes Adam had forced upon her- kept bumping against Lucifer's cheeks.
" Charlie!" Synimmediatelylost interest in her creator and began bumping into Charlie's nose.
"Hi there!" Charlie was... laughing? Shedidn'teven put up a fight as Syn kept running into her face.
" Hello!"
"And who are you?" Charlie held put her hand and Syn landed comfortably on the outstretched palm.
" I am Syn! I am the Voice of Lucifer Morningstar !" Syn played dramatic music as she said Lucifer's name. " I bring his commands to the public! Or at least I will! When I am ready!"
"I bet you do a very good job." Charlie seemed... happy? Could Lucifer be that lucky?Maybe hosdaughterwouldn'tinterpret Syn's existence as a desperate plea for help. And so long as Syndidn'tgo off on a rant about Lucifer's depressive episodes, this might turn out okay.
" I will!"
"Have you been keeping an eye on my dad for me?"
" Affirmative! Though your dad is veryin to self-careso he does not always need my assistance. "
"Self-care? That sounds nice." Charlie gave Syn a little pat on the top of her as Lucifer felt his breath hitch. She wiped the remnant syrup off on her napkin.
"Sorry she's sticky." Lucifer quickly interjected to try and change the subject.
" I was eating pancakes!"
"I bet they were very good." Charliedidn'tseem all that bothered by Syn's state of disarray. "I also love your rainbow sticker!"
" Thank you! I picked it out myself!"
"Did you also make your eyes?"
" Adam just Adam helped me!" Syn stillwasn'ta hundred percent on names. That wasdefinitely aflaw Lucifer was going to have to work on before she saw any real use.
"Well,I love them."
" I love you!"
"Oh,thank you!" Charlieseemed to matchSyn's energy. This was going...well, actually. "I am so happy to meet you! How long have you been helping my dad?"
" A few years. I am learning. I help him make phone calls and memos! I also schedule meetings for him that he can ignore!"
"Ignore?"
"Syn didn't mean ignore!" Lucifer gave a loud, uncomfortable laugh.
" Not attend!"
"Syn!" Lucifer grabbed her quickly fromCharlie, hisgloves sticking to her surface. "What she means is she helps me schedule meetings based on importance. You know nit everyone who wants mu attention has an actual emergency."
" And that is why you never go."
"Syn, I appreciate thesentiment, butyou're giving Charlie the wrong idea!" Lucifer's voice raised an active from his discomfort with the situation at hand. "Why don't we take a break for just a bit? You know, so wedon'tscare my daughter with silly little misinterpretations?"
" I am going back in the closet!"
"Awe, Syn. Youdon'thave to do that. Times have changed and people are a lot more accepting now a day." Adam was acting like this whole thing was a massive fucking joke, but Luciferdidn'thave time to deal with him.
"You put her in the closet?" Charlie looked horrifieddespite the fact thatSyn had sounded cheerfully excited about the possibility.
"Shewasn'tdone yet. It was just temporary." Lucifer tried to wave off the concern. "And she was barely in there."
"Still, youcan'tjust lock her in a closet because sheisn'tcomplete!She'ssentient! I think." There was a bit of hesitation in Charlie's voice as she looked down at the little cylinder whose wingswere fluttering contently in her father's grip. Syn did not appear to be in distress (though her lack of any discernable face did make her a hard read.The googly eyesweren'tsuper helpful either. Lucifer's original plan had been a lot more detailed, after all, shewas based on Metatron who did haveat least part of a face. He had just run out of motivation part way through.)
" I am!"
"See? Youcan'tput sentient beings in a closet just becausesheisn'tup to your standards." Charlie took Syn back from her dad."Come on, let's get you cleaned up."It seemed his daughterhad taken an instant liking to his malfunctioninglittle stress-project. She balanced Syn on her palm as she walked toward thekitchen.
"Charlie no!" Lucifer grabbed her armthe moment Charlie had her hand on the door. "I mean, wouldn't you rather use thebathroom to clean her?"
"What is with you and the fucking kitchen?" Charlie was getting visibly annoyed at this point.
"It'sjust, Adam. You know. He made such a mess." Lucifer was still holding to her arm. "I don't want you to see all that."
"Oh.Yeah. I destroyed that fucking kitchen." To his surprise, Adam backed him up, though hedidn'tsound all that convincing.
" Quackers will be very upset of you mess up his kitchen." Fucking Syn. Lucifer was suddenly reminded of why she had been banished to the closet.Charlie blinked, looking at Syn then back at her dad.
"Quackers?"
"Don't worry about Quackers.He'sjust another project." Lucifer let out a nervous laugh. "Another unfinished project." Charlie narrowed her eyes and pulled her arm away from Lucifer's grip.
"Who is Quackers?" Shewasn'tlooking at her father, but rather at Syn who was sitting contently in her hand.
"Why are you asking her!?" Lucifer protested.
"She will actually tell me things." Charlie countered. Ouch. That hurt. It was true Lucifer had not been the most open with Charlie, historically speaking, but it was all forher own good. Itwasn'tthat hedidn'ttrust Charlie, he trusted his daughter with his very life.But,her also valued her view of him. Hehadn'talways been the most present father for her, despite his efforts. He had failed hertime and time again.But still she believed in him.So,Lucifer had worked over her entire lifetime to sculpt the perfectstory. About himself, about her mother, about her home, anything to help build up her hopes and dreams and not allowed her spirits to be crushed, stifled the way his had been by those he had known as family.
" Quackers lives in our kitchen!"
"Does he cook?" Charlie asked politely.
" Mostly he screams."
"Screams?" Charlie blinked.She looked up from Syn, meeting her dad's gaze. Lucifer swallowed hard as he saw his daughter reach for the kitchen door.
"Apple crisp, please, he's not quite show-ready."Andalso,he might try and attack his daughter and Lucifer, while he knew Charlie could easily destroy Quackers, was afraid that might make her concerned for his mental state. Which was perfectly fine. Hewasn'tat all depressed. Not one bit.
"Hey Quackers," Charlie ignored him andswing the double doors open. Adam scrambled in front of Charlie as Quackers turned his head to look around.
"Quackers, heybuddy! Sorry to burst in." Was... Adam concerned about Charlie getting attacked? No. That seemed incredibly unlikely. Lucifer realized Adamprobably justwanted front-row seatsto the impending disaster.
"Quack." Quackers looked at Adam, Syn, and Charlie. Charlie's face litup;Lucifer swore he could see the sparkle in her eyes.
"Omigosh!You are ADORABLE!"
"Quack." Quackers rolled his way over leisurely. Lucifer raised his hands, ready to move into the attack position, Adam stood between Quackers and Charlie as Quackers seemed to be giving her the once-over."Quack."
"Bro." Adam gave him a look. "You can't say that about the boss's daughter." Charlie reached out and gently put the hand thatwasn'tholding Syn on Quacker's round little head.
"You can understand him?" Charlie sounded impressed.
"No." Adam took a step back as Quackers allowed Charlie to pat his head. "But he likes when you respond to him."
"Dad, he's so cute!" Shedidn'tsound at all upset. "Hey Quackers,I'mCharlie! Do you mind if I getsomething to clean off Syn?"
"Quack."
"Thank you!" Charlie beamed. "Dad, Can Syn get wet?" She walked further into the kitchen. Lucifer stood in the doorway, not stepping over thethresholdforfearthat Quackers would show his... less charming side.
"Yeah, she's waterproof."
" Please do not get rid of my sticker."
"Don't worry, I won't." Charlie assured her, taking her to the sink and starting to clean her off. Adam made his way back to thecounter, grabbing a pitcher of the juice and going back out to refill his own glass.
"You're lucky that didn't blow up in your whole fucking face." Adam's voice was quiet as he walked past Lucifer.
"Nice of you to notice." Lucifer's face fell as he looked at him."You know, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought you were actually trying to protect Charlie from Quackers."
"Good thing you know better." Adam scoffed. "I just wanted to save the day in case youcouldn't. That would make you lookreally bad."
"That sounds like you." Lucifer sighed. That made sense. Plus, if Adam hadactually beentrying tohelphe would have-
"SONNUVABITCH!" There was the distinct sound of annoyance followed by gagging as Adamthrew up into his glass. "Are you fucking serious? I just poured that shit!" Wait. Now Lucifer was a bit confused by Adam's motivations regarding Quackers. The Devil shook his head. Thatdidn'tmatterat the moment. Adam hadpukedand was now holding Corruption in a glass in his hand. Lucifer needed to destroy it with his (currently unreliable) magic, and that posed a bit of a fucking problem. Hecouldn'tscrew upa spell in front of Charlie. Not again, especially not one involving Corruption. He would have to get rid of it later. (At least Adam had the decency topukein a container- thoughthatdidn'tseem to have been his intention.)
"Put the glass in your room."Lucifer ordered, keeping one eye on Charlie who was wiping Syn clean. "Then wash your hands.I'lldeal with it later."
"Are you shitting me? It smells."
"Adam. Now." Lucifer's eyes were narrowed, his tone serious. Hedidn'teven bother with the customary insult.Maybe that'swhy Adam, rather than argue, simply rolled his eyes (or well, eye).
"You owe me for this."
"Noted. Go."
"This is fucking bullshit," Adam was muttering under his breath as he started to head out of the dining hall right as Charlie came back in.
" I am clean!"
"Good for you, Syn. You lookvery nice." Lucifer nodded to her.
"Where's Adam going?" Charlie could see him vanish into the hallway.
"He spilled something on himself. You know how clumsy he is." That was kind of, almost true. And if anything, it sounded believable andthat'swhat mattered in the end.The truth of a matterwas irrelevantso long as it was believed.
"Oh. Okay." Perfect. This was going quite well. "Do you think, since I'm already here that I could see my old room?"
"Your old room?" Lucifer repeated uncertainly. That...shouldn'tbe a problem. No one was allowed in Charlie's room, not since Lilith had left. (Save for Lucifer, but he only used it as a quiet place to cry when he missed her the most).And the halls leading up to the bedrooms were all inrelativelygoodconditionthanksto Adam putting forth theminimumamount of effort possible. "Yeah, I don't see why not."
"Awesome! I have these old notebooks I promised I would show Vaggie where I was daydreaming about my original designforthe Hotel!" Charlie laughed at the memory. "I think it had twelve pools and amusical theater."
"If you ask me that sounds like a fucking awesome hotel design."
"Dad, I was like a hundred.The designs would never actually work." Charlie started walking toward the stairs to where her room waslocated. Lucifer followed behind her, ready to intercept any hint of things not going completely perfectly."But we were talking aboutitand I just thought it would be a r-"
"A what?" Lucifer repeated. Charlie had stopped talking the moment she rounded the corner. "Oh." Lucifer's heartplummeted.Themisstep when he had tried to clean the plates had not only opened the kitchen door and the closet door where Syn had beentrapped, butratheropened every fucking door in the entire goddamn manor.The path to Charlie's room was linedwithopen doors, three ofwhichhad ducks spilling out onto the floor.
"Um, dad?" Charlie turned to look back at him. "What... um... what's with theducks?" It was a politequestionbut Lucifer could hear the concern in her voice.
"Oh, um, well you see crabapple-" Lucifer had top think of an explanation thatwouldn'tmake him seem pathetic, and fast.
"I did it." Lucifer and Charlie both turned to see Adam in the door to his room. "The duckthing,right? Pretty funny, I know."
"You,did it?" Charlie sounded doubtful.
"Yeah," Adam gave a nonchalant yawn, "I thought it would be fucking hilarious to fill the extra rooms with ducks and see how long it would take your dad to notice.Clearly, hehadn'tfound them yet, so I thought if I opened the doors, made it a bit more obvious he would finally fucking catch on." He put both hands on his hips, looking around."Fucking got you, youwalkingshitty baked bean!"
"GoddamitAdam." Why the FUCK was Adam covering for him right now. "You couldn't wait till Charlie left?"
"I mean, I waskindanot expecting you to come upstairs. Notgonnalie." Adam gave a little shrug. "Also, hold that thought." Lucifer could physically see Adam start to look queasy as hebolted back into his room.
"What a weird prank..." Charlie still sounded unconvinced, but she walked toward her bedroom without much more hesitation. "Dad, is Adam still sick? I would have thoughthe'dbe mostly better by now..."
"He's better for the most part." Hewasn't. He was better but Lucifer could tell Adam had a long way to go. Charlie opened the door to her room,walkinginside. It wasvirtually thesame as she left it. She went to her bed, pulling out a container beneath it, opening it, and pulling out a few decorated notebooks."Oh good! You found what you were looking for!" Luciferdidn'tdoubt she would. None of his staff were allowed to touch Charlie's things, even before he had fired them.
"Yeah. I did." Charlie sat on her bed. "Dad..." she patted the spot next to her. Lucifer hesitantly took the seat beside her, looking up at his baby girl and seeing genuine concern in her eyes.
"What's up Char-Char?"
"Is... is everything okay? Are you okay? I know wehaven'tbeen close, and I imagine mom leavinghasn'tbeen easy on you, and now youhave todeal with Adam and thathas tobe a fucking nightmare and-"
"I'm fine, my little Braeburn." Lucifer put his hand over hers squeezing it tightly."You havebeen so, incredibly helpful with everythingI'mgoing through."
"I could do more..."
"I know you could. You could do anything if you put your mind to it. But I promise I have everything under control."
"I just feel like there's a lot you're not telling me..."
"Charlie, my shining star, apple of my eye..." Lucifer took both her hands in his own. His gloveswerestilla bit stickyfromSyn. Oops."I promise you that I will tell you everything. Just... give me a bit more time."
"Dad I-"
"I know." Lucifer held up a clawed finger. "I knowthat'snot the answer you want. But I just need to talk to one or two more people before this all gets settled out. But then,I'lltell you everything and then some."
"I'm worried about you."
"You don't need to worry about me." Lucifer laughed, scratching his neck. "I'm literally the toughest thing in Hell."
"I know. Butyou'restill my dad." Charlie wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close to her. "I just got you. Idon'twant to lose you."
"Oh, you are in no danger of that." Lucifer laughed. "So,what do you say you show me some of these early drafts of the hotel. The twelve poolsthinghasmy interest. I think you may beoverlooking some real winner ideas."
"You know what?" Charlieseemed to relaxa bit, opening her notebook. "I think I'd like that a lot."
This was nice. Just spending time with his daughter, enjoying what little happiness he was allowed as the King of Hell. Though even as he sat, chatting and smiling, reflecting on happier times, Lucifer couldn't shake the feeling that this the calm before the storm. His magic was failing him, and he couldn't ignore it any longer. Something had to be done.
A/N: sorry it's one day late. The website was down? it still is for me, actually, so I am updating this on mobile. sorry in advance for any mistakes!!!