It had been a hectic time since Lucifer had his breakdown. Not so much because anything specific happened, but rather between training Charlie on Corruption, and teaching her about who Azrael was, about his past, he had just felt like he hadn't stopped.
So, it was nice to get a moment of peace, though brief as it was.
Lucifer was comfortable, in his bed, just starting to wake up. He was surprisingly cozy, warm. The blankets felt heavier than usual around him, but it was an almost soothing weight. Maybe he was still half asleep, dreaming the serenity around him. Waking up was starting to feel like more and more of a chore. He started to stretch but the weight was still present. It wasn't uncomfortable but in his hazy mind, it was confusing.
He brought his hand to his chest and felt something rather, soft, warm to the touch. The smell of sandalwood wafted to his nose.
Lucifer cracked open an eye, his vision blurred from sleep as he tried to make out a white lump on top of him. It might just have been a pile of sheets, but it felt more solid... he squinted, trying to clear his vision, orient himself.
He was in his room, in his bed, and...
He reached out to touch the white lump, as his vision finally cleared. He froze. For a moment, he didn't know how to react.
"Um..." Lucifer cleared his throat trying to be as loud as possible. "What the fuck?"
"Hmm?" Adam shifted at the noise, the white lump rolling to reveal some of the black side of the First Man's unusual coloring. He flopped back down, his cheek on Lucifer's chest. The Devil took a clawed hand and slowly lifted Adam's head.
"Nope. No going back to sleep. Wake the fuck up, asshole."
"Wha...?" Adam blinked, his eyes were bleary- or at least the working eye was- the white eye always looked clouded. For a moment, he looked at Lucifer with confusion, he seemed disoriented. Lucifer felt himself tense. He did not want to get bitten again, he was just starting to get his magic back. Lucifer sat up a bit more, leaning against the frame of his bed, and slowly brought his free hand under Adam's chin so between the hand on his head and the one under his jaw, he could sandwich his mouth firmly shut. Adam blinked. He looked at Lucifer, then his working eye traveled to the bed, then widened. He jerked away from Lucifer's grip and threw himself off of the bed and onto the floor. Lucifer let his hands fall back to the mattress, as he peered over the edge of the bed to see Adam scooting away. "You good?" Adam didn't reply, as he tried to crawl underneath his own bed. Lucifer sighed, his tail slithered out from the sheets, wrapping around Adam's ankle, and dragging him out from underneath the bed, holding him up in the air, upside down. "I need you to speak to me, so that I know you're not in bitey-mode."
"Put me the fuck down!" Adam flailed a bit in the air, but even with just his tail Lucifer was stronger than the First Man.
"Suit yourself." Lucifer's tail uncurled and Adam fell on his face. "You wanna explain to me why you were in my bed?"
"Fuck off. It was dark last night, and I was tired as shit. I probably just passed out or something, I don't know."
"Why are you the one who's angry?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow.
"I have to go cook breakfast." Adam's face was tinted gold under the pale cheek on the pasty, paper white half of his skin.
"You are feeling okay, right?" Lucifer was concerned, the flush on Adam's cheek could be the sign of a fever, and while he wasn't ill in a traditional sense, he was sick. Though, the insults and obvious annoyance suggested Adam was feeling much like his old, aggravating self. That was... reliving... was it weird to think that way?
"I'm fine." Adam dusted himself off as if he had touched something particularly foul. "Grossed out, but fine."
"Again... you're the one upset?"
"Uh yeah, because you're disgusting."
"It was my fucking bed!"
"What was that? I can't hear you." Adam made direct eye contact with Lucifer as he placed a hand on the doorknob and vanished. "I'm in the mirror!"
"You're in a doorknob, actually, and that has never hindered your ability to hear before!" Lucifer retorted, still annoyed.
"Oh shit, who decorated?" Adam either wasn't listening or was simply desperate to change the topic of discussion.
"Don't try and weasel out of-"
"Seriously, the hallway is like super festive. I can literally see it from here. You know, because of my kickass mirror powers. "
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Lucifer hated Adam's stupid 'mirror powers' as they were a colossal pain in the ass. His ability to move around virtually undetected was frustrating at best, downright terrifying at worst. (Though, with his powers returning, Lucifer was able to feel Adam moving around if he actively sat and meditated. But that was time consuming and wouldn't even be necessity if Adam had gotten any other fucking power. It was probably a commentary on how Adam needed to reflect on his actions and how they affected others, but right now, the only thing on which Lucifer was reflecting was every life choice he had made that had landed him in his current situation.) So, the Devil begrudgingly got to his hooves (both finally back) and walked to the door (God, it felt so fucking good to walk again). He opened it, looking out to see a bunch of red and black holly, bright ribbon, and ornaments lining the hallway. "What the actual fuck? Who decorated?"
"That's what I said. More or less." Adam's head popped out of the shining golden frame of an opposing painting.
"Don't do that." Lucifer walked over to the painting and started trying to push Adam back in. It was like something out of a horror movie, with someone crawling out of an object far too small to hold the human form. Only it was a thousand times worse, because it was Adam.
"Don't push me."
"Use a door."
"No."
"Good morning, Master and Adam Just Adam!" Syn's cheery voice interrupted Lucifer's attempt to shove Adam back in the reflection. She still had her googly eyes with the oversized lashes, but someone (probably Charlie) had put a rather large, gift bow on top of her head. (Not that Syn really had a head but ever since getting the eyes, she seemed to prefer floating with the eyes on top.) "And a very Merry Holiday season!"
"Did you do this?" Lucifer glared over at Adam. This smelled like Heaven's bullshit. Holidays were not something often celebrated in Hell outside of some of the more desperate Sinners (and Vox's commercialized version), and few Fallen who were homesick, and of course one particular branch of Hellborn.
"Dude, I'm Jewish." Adam stared at him blankly. "And all this shit screams Christmas." He finally pulled himself out of the picture frame, landing on his face once again before bouncing up to his feet, picking up a black ornament that had fallen to the ground, it seemed to have fire burning inside of it. "But like a fucked up version of Christmas."
"Why are you anything? You've been to Heaven!" Lucifer had to admit that Adam really hadn't had the time to do this, unless he had snuck out last night to decorate and that was why he had made the bed mistake.
"Jesus wasn't born yet-"
"Syn, did Virgil do this?" Lucifer just wanted to get to the bottom of the decorated hallway mystery. And if it wasn't Adam (though it still might be) it was probably Michael.
"It was a group effort!"
"Of course it was." Lucifer had found his culprit.
"Do you not like it? I worked very hard on it."
"No, it's fine." Lucifer waved off her concern. It wasn't Syn's fault that she had been roped into this feel-good scheme.
"I think it looks really festive. In like, a creepy way." Adam just had to try and one-up his boss. Lucifer made an obvious motion of rolling his eyes.
"Don't you have something to cook?"
"Right! Breakfast! I was thinking omelettes."
"HURRAY! I would like mine filled with cheese!"
"Cheese is going to make you sticky." Lucifer knew that Syn was just going to roll around in whatever Adam made. "Omelettes sound fine though, I guess. You know what I like."
"I still want the cheese."
"Cheese for Syn, and the usual for King Douchebag- which also has cheese in it, FYI." Adam was lucky he was a good cook, or Lucifer would have kicked him out long ago.
"I don't roll around in my food." Lucifer replied pointedly.
"That is how I eat. You did not give me a mouth."
"You didn't give her a mouth, Lucifer."
"Oh, shut the fuck up." Lucifer almost laughed as he elbowed Adam despite the fact that this wasn't funny it was annoying. Maybe he was just tired. "Do you want to build her next body?"
"I have seen Adam attempt to use his phone. I do not have faith."
"Oh, come on!" Adam protested at Syn's obvious concern. "I could do it. As a matter of fact, I'm great with technology."
"You text me for recipe ideas because you think I am the Voggle search engine." Syn landed gently on Adam's head and tilted forward so it gave the illusion she was peering down at him. Adam, cheeks puffed out, huffily, as he looked back up at her.
"No, I use the search engine!"
"No. No, you don't not. But that is okay! I like helping!"
"Are you for real?" Lucifer looked back over at Syn, restraining himself from bursting out laughing until he had full confirmation.
"Affirmative, Master!"
"Perfect." Lucifer let out the laughter he had been holding. He saw Adam, folding his arms, rolling the black and gold eye.
"Laugh all you want, it works."
"You're lucky Syn likes you."
"I do like you!" Syn settled down contently in Adam's hair. "But I also enjoy an omelette with cheese, which I do not have." Lucifer was getting more enjoyment out of this than he would have thought as he crossed his arms over his chest, smirking at the First Man.
"Where's her omelette, Adam?"
"I literally just woke up, hold your horses." Adam didn't sound as angry as he used to when Lucifer and Syn would gang up on him. Syn flew off of Adam's head to land on Lucifer's shoulder, leaning in close toward his head.
"I do not have a horse to hold. Do you think Lysander will let me borrow Demetrius?"
"Have you never heard that expression before, or are you being funny?" Lucifer narrowed his eyes at his virtual assistant. Syn slowly turned to look at him, her googly eyes boring into him as she sat in silence for a second before speaking.
"The world may never know."
"Well," Adam put his hand to his hips, looking at Syn and Lucifer. "That was ominous. I'm gonna go make some omelettes."
"Omelettes!"
"You do that." Lucifer watched as Syn flew back to Adam, landing on his head once more as he headed down the stairs toward the kitchen. The Devil took a moment to peer over the banister to see more of the decorations down stairs. Michael clearly had tried to keep things 'on theme' to what he thought Lucifer would like. It was pretty tacky, but he couldn't expect style from an angel. He might as well located the Archangel before he decided Lucifer's room needed any holiday cheer. He headed down the stairs, relieved that the wheelchair was a thing of the past, as he surveyed the foyer to try to figure out where that holy idiot had run off to. He didn't hear Quackers screaming, so he wasn't in the kitchen, and Lucifer hoped he had the self-awareness to not go into the West Wing without the Devil's accompaniment. Still, there were several possible locations for him. He headed toward the East Wing- the mansion itself was quite large- and started to search for his most annoying house guest (and with Adam in the running, that was really quite the title). He really forgot what half of these rooms were used for at this point. They were probably all duck storage.
"Are you looking for something?" Michael's voice came from directly behind him. Lucifer jumped, whirling around to see Virgil holding a bowling ball wearing his usual suit and tie, but he had a ribbon tied around his horn.
"Don't fucking sneak up on me! I almost disintegrated you!" Lucifer had his hand raised, unholy flame surrounding his fist. In all honesty, it probably wouldn't phase Michael, but Lucifer had to at least pretend he was powerful enough to do something against the Archangel who felled him. Lucifer lowered his hand, the fire went out, as he looked at the ribbon on Michael's fake horn. "Wow, you look stupid." His eyes traveled further as he saw something in Michael's grip. "And why do you have a..." he squinted at the object in his arms, "bowling ball?"
"Oh," Michael looked down at the ball in his arms. "It's Lysander's." His eyes traveled up to follow Lucifer's gaze to his horns. He looked genuinely worried by the insult. "You don't like it? Is it too much? I know this isn't Heaven but-"
"Yeah, it's not." Lucifer could forget the bowling ball for now, as he had more pressing matters at hand. "And these decorations are terrible. Did you teach Syn how to do all this? Because it is going to suck when I have to teach her that you made all this shit up."
"What are you talking about?"
"All this," Lucifer gestured to his surroundings as Michael stared at him blankly from behind Virgil's face. "Syn says she helped you."
"Did Syn say she helped me specifically?"
"I mean..." Lucifer had to think back on her exact wording. "It was implied."
"I think you might have misunderstood the situation."
"I didn't misunderstand anything. You had to... angel up my perfectly Devilish hallways with this festive All-Holiday-Bash bullshit that you celebrate in Heaven."
"It's actually called the Merry Everything Holiday Extravaganza."
"I don't-" Lucifer cut himself off, taking a deep breath. "I don't give a fuck Michael. This isn't how we do things in Hell."
"Are you..." the eyeless sockets on Virgil's face narrowed at him. "Are you sure about that?" Lucifer glared right back at him.
"Look, I know you think you know everything about everything because our creator liked you best, but let me just say-"
"That's not true and you know it."
"Shut up while I'm lecturing you." Lucifer put his clawed hands together and pointed his fingertips in Michael's direction. "No one in Hell gives a shit about-"
"IT'S FUCKIN' CHRISTMAS, MATES! LET'S GO!" The door behind Lucifer swung open and Lysander appeared wearing a rather hideous black and red sweater. Lucifer's head slowly rotated on his shoulders so he could take in the sight.
"Why do you care?"
"Because it's fuckin' Christmas? Well, Christmas Eve which is honestly better." Lysander looked rather pleased with himself. Lucifer's eyes narrowed at his employee, as his body rotated so that his head was attached correctly.
"Did Virgil set you up to this?"
"Nah, I'm the one who talked him into it." Lysander strode past the Devil and grabbed the bowling ball from Michael. "You found it! Thanks!"
"Lysander... you're Hellborn why do you give a fuck about any human holiday?" Lucifer had more questions about the bowling ball, but these were more pressing. Lysander looked a little confused by the Devil's interrogation.
"You serious, Boss-Man?"
"Right, you're from Treachery." Lucifer hadn't really gone to the other rings of Hell much in the past hundred years or so. It was really unnecessary as the other Sins governed their respective sectors well enough. (Satan had texted him about some fucking trial a bit ago, but Lucifer had a three o'clock wallow on the schedule that day that really couldn't be moved. It sounded like it was all sorted out without him, anyway.) But when Charlie was little, he and Lilith would take her to Treachery for a change of pace. Treachery itself was a frozen lake located in Wrath, Lysander's particular type of Hellborn lived there as typically they found the hot temperatures of the other rings to be uncomfortable. Lucifer assumed that was why Lysander stuck around inside a lot, it was probably awful for him outside- unless, of course, Hell froze over, which happened on rare occasions. "That makes more sense. But you haven't ever decorated before... so... I'm a little confused."
"Actually, I have." Lysander replied flatly. "You just never noticed before 'cause usually you're in your room, or your office and you didn't really socialize with Syn and I. Don't get me wrong, I like the new you. You're more fun this way."
"There is no new me," Lucifer corrected quickly, "I was just busy before. Now, I am... less busy." That was really the opposite of true. In fact, with Michael and Adam around, the Apocalypse on the horizon, Charlie training underneath him... he was probably busier than he had ever been since Hell was first constructed. But for some reason the nature of his work had him out, socializing, learning about the staff he hired and created.
"Eh, I mean, if you insist." Lysander gave a shrug. "So, what is Adam making for brekkie, because all that late night decorating has me starved!"
"It's omelettes." Lucifer remarked flatly.
"Oh, fuck yeah!" Lysander opened a door at random and tossed the bowling ball inside before slamming it closed again. "Food time!"
"I don't know if he's done yet." Lucifer didn't really stop Lysander as he walked past. Rather, he decided to follow him. He was hungry, after all. "But I suppose we can at least go to the dining hall and yell at him to finish up."
"So, you don't like the decorations?" Michael followed behind them. Since Lysander was around, Lucifer couldn't be honest with his explanation: he hated them only because he thought Michael had put them up. But it might be strange if the Devil had some deep, and valid beef with a random handyman. So, he simply shrugged.
"They're fine, I guess. I could have done better, but considering that you did it all in one night, I suppose it's... passable."
"Quackers decorated the kitchen, perhaps that will be more to your taste." Michael suggested. Lucifer wasn't aware Quackers had decorating capabilities, but at this point he could no longer be surprised by anything.
"Virgil, you should come to Treachery if you like holiday decorations! My Auntie does it big! Hellborns come from all over to see it." Lysander was far more into the holiday than Lucifer was expecting, even for a Hellborn from Treachery.
"It sounds very nice. But I am still on the clock and should be around in case the Boss needs something." It was both satisfying and unsettling to hear Michael refer to Lucifer as Boss. Back in the day, Lucifer had been Michael's superior but that was so long ago.
"Why are you working if you like this holiday so much?" Lucifer reached the dining hall and his chair pulled itself out so he could have a seat. (It felt so nice to have his powers back. While he wasn't at his full potential, anything was better than being powerless.
"Last time I took off there was a monster attack. I don't wanna miss something like that. You know how much I wanted to fight a giant monster? It's literally on my bucket list." Lysander had a point. He had been absent during the Shoggoths, which was probably for the best as having War's Son exposed to Corruption sounded like a recipe for disaster.
"Well, the odds of that happening again are slim to none." Lucifer waved off the rather skeptical noise from Michael, who needed to learn to mind his own goddamn business. "In fact," Michael's skepticism just made a Lucifer want to double down, "nothing like that will happen again because I already took care of everything. I talked to Cerberus, and they are looking into it."
"Oh! I know them! Rusti sends me memes!" Lysander pulled out his phone to show Lucifer a picture of Bernadette using her breath to try and put out what was obviously an office fire of some kind as Cerena was texting, and Rusti was obviously the one holding the phone making a cute smile and ignoring the wild disaster behind her. Over the image, in decorative pink text were the words: This is fine, complete with a little smiley face and heart.
"Why does she talk to you?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow.
"My dad knows her because he has to cross the barrier a lot. Plus, she and Syn have an office gossip chat room that I got invited to." Lysander put his phone back into his pocket. "It's pretty spicy shit." Lucifer pinched the bridge of skin between his eyes, letting out a sigh of frustration.
"So, they just text everyone who isn't me. Wait, is Adam in the gossip chat!?"
"No fucking way, Boss-Man. Adam is the literal worst at texting. He keeps sending me stuff he wants to send Cain and it kinda gives me depression. Like... he really was hoping to hear from him today since it's a holiday. But um... don't think he's gonna because Cain is the King of ghosting. Part of that is probably because Adam accidentally texts me? And I am not getting involved in all of that crazy family drama."
"I am sure he is doing his best. Adam. Not Cain. Though I'm sure Cain is doing his best too. He's a great farmer." Michael replied, sitting patiently at the table. Lucifer narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his not-brother.
"Are you in the chat, Virgil?"
"No." Michael replied with a shrug. It figured as much, a gossip chat sounded far too exciting for someone like him.
"Not yet." Lysander also seemed a little quick on the denial. "He still has to earn his way into the group and prove he's good at texting."
"Who's hungry!" Adam's voice interrupted the conversation as he kicked open the double doors that lead to the kitchen. He had a large tray in his hands, there was a boa of blue and silver tinsel wrapped around Adam's neck like a shimmering, extravagant scarf. As the doors swung back and forth, Lucifer could see Quackers covered in similar tinsel with a giant silver star on the top of his head. "We got the good shit!"
"Yummy omelettes for everyone!" Syn was whizzing around Adam's head doing little flips in the air. He started laying out the plates in front of each person at the table, when he put down a plate with a rather gooey looking cheese omelette, Syn dove right into it with such force the plate rattled.
"Enjoy~" Adam took his seat across from Lucifer digging into his own food. He looked ridiculous with all that sparkling tinsel.
"What?" Adam met his gaze and Lucifer quickly scoffed, averting his eyes to look down at his plate instead.
"Took you long enough to get the food out."
"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to cook? Or summon your subpar excuse for food?" Adam retorted, though his words were slightly muffled by the food in his mouth.
"And take away the one job you have? I couldn't." Lucifer smirked, finally looking up from his plate. "Then you would be stuck just with cleaning." Adam didn't bother with swallowing his food before responding.
"Then shut up about my cooking. Quackers and I were having quality time, a concept that you wouldn't understand because no one actually likes you."
"That is untrue! I love Master!"
"You love everyone, Syn." Adam replied pointedly.
"That is a vast oversimplification. I love most people. But I do not like the red smiling man, nor do I like that mean angel on Master's ride who is very rude to him."
"Mean angel?" Michael raised an eyebrow.
"It's a historically accurate ride about how I was booted out from Heaven for absolutely no reason because I've never done anything wrong in my whole life." Lucifer explained as-a-matter-of-factly. Michael didn't even maintain eye contact as he turned his attention back to his food.
"Ah. I see."
"The Fall is a sick ride. If you haven't been to Lu Lu World yet, you should go." Lysander missed the entire underhanded dig at Virgil, which was to be expected.
"I have not had the opportunity yet." Michael replied politely.
"But do NOT eat the popcorn. People get really pissed about that." Adam added, helpfully. Lucifer rolled his eyes.
"They weren't mad because you ate the popcorn, they were pissed because you stole it. Remember? You didn't realize you had to pay?"
"In my defense: I was new. Also, it's Hell, they should expect to be robbed." Adam replied with a shrug. "Anyway, the rides were fun." It was funny. The conversation, the banter, the bickering, it had become an expected part of meals at this point. Lucifer never used to take the time to eat alongside his staff. Hell, when he and Lilith had ruled his workers never would have dreamed of sitting at the table beside him. (Though, in all fairness, there were a LOT of employees and the table wouldn't have fit everyone.) Still, it wasn't the worst feeling in the world, sitting, chatting, eating adequate food (okay, so it was fucking amazing, but Lucifer would take that secret to his grave). Sure, Michael was here, but even that wasn't as bad as Lucifer knew it could be. Mr. Wing-Cutty was on his best behavior. If the Devil didn't know any better, he'd dare to say he was enjoying himself.
Lucifer felt a buzzing in his pocket.
"You have an incoming call!" Syn managed to situate herself so she was upright, covered in egg and cheese.
"I can see that." Lucifer pulled his phone out of his pocket. The name on the caller ID earned a bit of a confused stare. He put the phone to the side of his head, clearing his throat. "Bernadette, this is a surprise."
"Hey boss!" She sounded out of breath. He could hear Rusti and Cerena arguing about something over her head. "You said not to text you if something came up and-"
"Oh wow he answered his phone? Stop the fucking presses." Cerena was able to somehow interrupt her own argument to make a dig at Lucifer.
"HI BOSS!" Rusti was so loud Lucifer had to hold the phone away from his face. He cleared his throat to try and stop the arguing.
"Hello ladies, I'm glad you called. What seems to be the issue?"
"There's been a breach in the barrier, it's probably nothing, multiple jumps out of Hell, all stemming from Treachery." Bernadette was able to speak without having to shout over her sisters as Lucifer's voice seemed to have gotten everyone's attention. "Do you want us to look into it?" He heard Cerena scoff.
"Probably."
"No." Lucifer cut her off before she could go on another one of her unfounded rants about how Lucifer didn't do a good job monitoring the barrier. Of course he did a good job, Hell was still in seven pieces, wasn't it? That was the exact number of pieces that he had started with. "I'll look into it. I want you girls to keep an eye on things from your office."
"So, we're just ignoring the breach then? Cool, cool." Cerena replied, sounding annoyed. Lucifer's eyes narrowed, he raised his voice slightly.
"I am going to Treachery, and I will look into this myself. Thank you, ladies, for your intel, but I will see to it from here."
"Y... yes, of course, your majesty." There was silence on the line before Bernadette finally spoke. "You're welcome."
"I'll keep you up to date," Lucifer's voice returned to normal. "Good work." And with that, he hung up the phone. He looked over to see everyone at the table was staring at him, including Syn (especially Syn, with her unblinking plastic eyes).
"We're going to Treachery?" Lysander looked thrilled. Lucifer was going to say I am going to Treachery, but it might not be the worst idea in the world to have Lysander around since he was a local. And, if he invited Lysander, he would need to invite Syn or she would get jealous; and he really should drag Michael in case this was more Heaven bullshit that needed him to intervene; and if he took Michael, he would need to take Charlie because he promised her that he was going to include her in all the inner workings of Hell; and if he took Charlie, he would need to take Adam because there was no way he was leaving that asshole unattended.
"We're going to Treachery!" Lucifer slammed his hand down on the table and created an image of fireworks behind his head to emphasize his point.
"Oh, fuck yeah! I get to see my family!" Lysander pumped his fists up in the air excitedly. "You guys are gonna love the decorations."
"Everyone is going?" Michael didn't look as thrilled as everyone else. Lucifer could admit that doing an important mission surrounded by his staff might make things a little more difficult, but there was a very solid logic behind why he had done it.
"Yes! It's the Holidays, Virgil, and we should be celebrating!" Lucifer also needed to come up with a bullshit reason to go to Treachery. Because, outside of Michael who had uncanny hearing, no one else had heard about the reason he needed to go. And that was for the best. "Hell knows how to have a good time too, even better than Heaven does, actually."
"Where are we going?" Adam looked a little lost by the conversation. Lucifer glanced over at Adam for a moment.
"To Treachery! It's one of the other levels of Hell. Usually, Sinners can't go there. But since you're with me I can get you across the barrier."
"You guys are gonna love it there!" Lysander looked incredibly excited. "Especially this time of year! They go all out."
"How long are we staying?" Adam looked less than thrilled at the idea of leaving. Lucifer wasn't really sure why.
"Just one night. If even that long." The Devil just needed to do some investigating, he didn't know how long that might take.
"So, I need to pack." Adam finished his food, getting up from the table. "Would have been nice to know this earlier."
"You know I can just make whatever you need." Lucifer wanted to get to Treachery as soon as possible.
"Let everyone pack. There is no need for you to burden yourself with such mental tasks as clothing creation." Michael didn't want Lucifer using his powers despite the fact that Lucifer had been itching to use them ever since they returned.
"Fiiiiiiine." The Devil rolled his eyes. As much as he didn't like listening to Michael, the Angel had made a point. Also, he still needed to call Charlie. She would be pissed if he left her out. (Especially on a trip to Treachery, she used to love going there when she was little.) "You're right that it would be a waste of energy." He waved his hand toward the staff at the table. "Go gather what you need and meet me in the foyer. You're dismissed."
"FAMILY VACATION!"
"I'll help ya pack, Syn." Lysander offered as everyone got to their feet and headed to their respective rooms. Michael lingered behind.
"So, there was activity in Treachery?"
"According to Bernadette, yes." Lucifer was already pulling his phone out to call Charlie. He didn't really want to talk to Michael and he knew the Archangel would not interfere in a conversation with the Devil's daughter. As horrible as he was, Michael seemed to crave a relationship with the Princess of Hell. "Hey bitch! How are you." Lucifer made a point of turning away from Michael and walking toward his office. "Long time no see!"
"I just saw you yesterday." Charlie sounded rather amused. "But it's great to hear from you! I got you a little something for the holiday!"
"Oh, Char-Char, you shouldn't have." Lucifer hadn't celebrated this time with Charlie since she was small. He hadn't expected her to want to keep up the tradition.
"I insist!" Charlie replied cheerfully. "If you want, I can bring it by the house. I got something for Syn and Lysander too."
"No, crabapple, that won't be necessary." Lucifer needed to get a perfect gift for Charlie and quickly. He reached his office, trying to slam the door behind him, but Michael slipped in before he could. He leaned over Lucifer's shoulder.
"Hi, Charlie!"
"Hi Michael!" Charlie was far too kind to ignore his greeting. Michael shifted into his normal form as he closed the door to Lucifer's office.
"I want to invite you to an impromptu trip to Lake Treachery." Lucifer needed to get the attention back on himself.
"Omigosh! Really!? I love Lake Treachery! Are we going to see the mansion decorations!?" Charlie's eagerness was a tad surprising. While Lucifer had cherished their time together in the snow, he always worried Charlie remembered the arguing, the tension, more than she remembered the snowball fights and hot chocolate.
"We sure can!" Lucifer wasn't about to deny Charlie the one thing she asked for. Plus, they were going to be in the area already. Michael cleared his throat and Lucifer put a clawed hand over his mouth, rolling his eyes. "But first, we are looking into some unauthorized barrier crossing that took place in the area. The Cerberus Sisters reported it to me, and it needs investigation."
"And you're inviting me?" Charlie sounded a little skeptical. Lucifer felt a little guilty, he hadn't wanted Charlie to get involved because he wanted her to be safe. But she was a Princess, and Hell needed her to be prepared. The Devil knew he was doing the right thing for once in his miserable existence. It felt... weirdly nice.
"Of course! You wanted to be a part of this."
"Thank you." Charlie's words only made that warm feeling inside if him swell. Lucifer was walking on cloud nine.
"Bring Vaggie if you want! Lake Treachery is quite romantic this time of year."
"Oh, that sounds wonderful!" Charlie sounded so excited, Lucifer could feel the smile on her face. "How long are we staying?"
"Just one day. And we're leaving soon, so hurry to the mansion! I love you my little Jonagold!" Lucifer was ready to get on the metaphorical road. (Metaphorical, of course, because he could teleport. Also, he was far too important for public transportation.)
"Love you too! See you soon!" And with that, Charlie hung up. He turned to look at Michael who was still standing behind him.
"What?"
"Nothing." Michael held his hands up passively, taking a step back. "I think it's great that you are including Charlie more."
"You're looking at me weirdly." Lucifer glanced up to meet the eyes in Michael's halos that were all looking down at him.
"I'm looking at you in a perfectly normal way."
"No, you're not. What?"
"Nothing."
"I know that fucking look, Michael, I literally waste a major part of my life training your treacherous ass. You want to say something but you're too polite. Are you going to be too uncomfortable when you're surrounded by other traitors like yourself? None of them cut their own brother's wings off, so, at least you have that going for you."
"That is hurtful."
"You know what else hurts? Having your wings cut off."
"You know I didn't want to do that."
"And you don't want to say whatever is on your mind, but you might as well just say it because you're not 'being the bigger person' by just sitting back, judgmentally squinting at me with all your weird little eyes. You're being a dick. So, what is it? Spit it out."
"My eyes aren't weird you have the same ones."
"Had." Lucifer briefly let the facade drop. The horns on his head turned to the shattered shards of a once beautiful golden halo, the sharp edges embedded into his flesh. The once all seeing eyes were dead, pale, filmed over and unmoving. The snake on his hat turned back into the shattered pieces of the second halo, covered in those same, lifeless eyes. The shards forced together in Lucifer's twisted and desperate attempt to repair what was broken. "So, you can just shove your fucking hesitation up your ass and tell me what is bothering you." Lucifer returned to his normal form.
"..." Michael seemed rather upset by the image he had just witnessed. He sighed. "I just... wonder if it is a wise decision to bring so many civilians to a mission."
"Oh. Is that all?" Lucifer almost laughed. "Lysander is from the area. Makes sense to bring him. And if we go in a group, it doesn't look suspicious to whoever might be up to illegal activities. If I come virtually alone it's pretty obvious I'm looking into something. But now? Now it's just the Devil and his daughter having a nice family vacation with their servants. I used to do this shit with Lilith all the time."
"Oh." Michael seemed to genuinely consider Lucifer's words, which was a little surprising. "I see. That makes sense."
"See? All you had to do was fucking ask, rather than silently judge."
"I'm sorry."
"Whatever, it's fine. You're going to be a judgey asshole whether I explain myself or not. So long, why bother giving the full story?"
"I wasn't judging, I was-"
"I'm going to make sure Adam actually packed winter clothes. I don't think he knows Treachery is cold as shit." Lucifer pushed past Michael to the office door. It would be a cold day in all of Hell before those two ever saw eye to eye. He hurried up the stairs to his own room where he saw Adam sitting on the bed, looking at his phone. "Have you actually packed anything?"
"Yeah, I packed my only outfit I ever wear. It's not exactly rocket science." Adam didn't bother looking up as Lucifer entered.
"You will freeze. Treachery is cold. It's actually on a frozen lake, all the buildings are made of ice. Do you have a winter coat?"
"Why would I have a winter coat in Hell?"
"Because it does get cold here. Once in a while, Hell freezes over."
"How am I supposed to know that?"
"I don't know, did you try asking?"
"Why would I ask!? I didn't even know that was a possibility! It's always fucking hot!"
"Yeah, in Pride, but we're going to Wrath- which is generally also warm- but Lake Treachery is different." Lucifer gave a heavy sigh. "Ugh, it's fine." He snapped his fingers and a white winter coat lined with golden fur appeared in the air. "Take this." Fur lined gloves and boots appeared on top of the coat as he shoved them at Adam.
"What's the catch?" Adam visibly hesitated.
"You can't cook if you freeze to death."
"... fair. You would be lost if you had to go back to fending for yourself for food." Adam started putting the coat on. Lucifer surveyed the room to see if there was anything he needed. There were mostly just ducks. One particular duck caught his eye. It had a little frog hat on. That was what Michael was looking at every time he was in the Devil's room trying to have an actual conversation. Lucifer picked it up, shoving it in the pocket of his coat. Now Michael could focus.
"Charlie is here!" Syn's voice faded as Lucifer could assume she was zipping down the stairs to have a chance to visit with Charlie.
"You ready?" Lucifer glanced back at Adam. He was leaving whether Adam was ready or not as he had no desire to explain to his daughter why the First Man was sharing his room. Adam sighed heavily, looking at his phone.
"Yeah."
"C'mon." Lucifer opened the door and hurried out to the foyer, with Adam dragging behind him. Charlie immediately ran to him the moment he was down the stairs giving him a big hug. He could see Azrael's bracelet on her wrist peeking out from the fur of Charlie's crimson jacket. He hugged her back tightly. "Hey Crabapple!"
"Thank you so much for taking us with you." Charlie pulled away. "I have been wanting to take Vaggie to Treachery forever!"
"I'm excited, sweetheart." Vaggie took Charlie's hand, planting a kiss on her cheek. At least the girls were dressed for the cold weather. (And with Vaggie technically being a Fallen and not a Sinner, it made it easy for her to cross. Adam was the only Sinner in toe, and he was bound to Lucifer.) "Charlie showed me pictures, it's weirdly festive."
"That's 'cause we do it right in Treachery!" Lysander pumped his fists in the air. "I already told my Auntie we were coming!"
"Right." Lucifer didn't really feel like schmoozing with some low-ranking demon trying to ride the coat tails of War's Son, but he would grin and bear it for the minimum amount of time, for Lysander's sake. Plus, this Auntie might know something. "Then, everyone, follow me." Lucifer could take them all directly to Treachery with a fancy portal, but crossing the borders of Pride was more tedious than he felt was necessary this soon after his recovery. Plus, he was the Devil, this was his domain. He had other ways to get around. He led everyone into the West Wing, pulling a key from his jacket and unlocking the door. He heard Charlie excitedly clapping her hands. "Come on in." He ushered everyone inside the room before locking the door behind them. This room was almost entirely empty, save for some ducks Lucifer had forgotten to clean out. He walked to the edge of the room, placing his hand on the back wall. The wall lit up with flame as the fire illuminated a door. Not just any door, but-
"You have your own elevator? Fancy." Lysander let out an impressed whistle. Adam had his arms crossed as he examined the pale, wall-turned- marble-doors as they pulled slowly open revealing a plush, crimson interior within.
"If you had a fucking elevator, why did you need the floating wheelchair?"
"Because this isn't for the house, dumbass." Lucifer had thought that was self-explanatory, but he misunderstood how stupid Adam truly was. "This is the elevator to the other rings of Hell." He ushered everyone inside.
"Hell-evator." Adam snorted at his own, unfunny joke as the doors closed. Lucifer was in the front. The panel on the wall did not just dictate each Ring but each district. The elevator could move in any and every direction. The buttons were written in an ancient Infernal tongue that most demons no longer spoke. He took a deep breath, pressing the button for Lake Treachery and the elevator took off so quickly most people stumbled, save for Lucifer and Michael.
"WEEEEEEE!" Syn took a seat on top of Charlie's head. (Either Adam or Lysander had cleaned her off as she was no longer covered in egg.) At least she was having fun. It wasn't as if this was a particularly long ride. In fact, it was only a matter of time before the doors opened and Lucifer was greeted by cold wind and snow striking him in his face. He snapped, summoning a nice scarf as he stepped onto a path of solid ice. He turned to face the others as they exited.
"Welcome one and all to Lake Treachery!"
"Ah this is so much fun!" Charlie took Vaggie's hands as the two looked around in wonder. There were buildings made of solid ice and snow, the very ground beneath them was a completely frozen lake. The same black and red decorations Lysander had covered Lucifer's house with were everywhere, as far as the eye could see. The elevator door closed as the last person left. The moment they sealed shut, the doors turned into a solid wall of ice emblazoned with Lucifer's emblem.
"Home sweet home!" Lysander was the only one not bundled up. He had his stupid sweater on but he was in shorts.
"Lucifer?" There was a familiar voice in the distance. The Devil looked over to see a towering demon woman, her chestnut hair down her back, her blue skin, red and black eyes, and large onyx horns were similar to Lysander's. And, while Lysander was a large guy- easily the tallest one in Lucifer's group- this woman made him look small by comparison.
"Oh, hi!" Lucifer was trying to remember the woman's name. He had seen her at several parties, she was the daughter of one of the heads of Treachery.
"AUNTIE!" Lysander practically jumped on her as she picked him up and spun him around as if he were weightless.
"Lysander! Mein kinder!" Her accent was completely different than the one Lysander and his father had. That was a little strange. She plopped him back on the ground, turning her attention to Lucifer as she took a deep bow. "Your majesty, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"
"Just a vacation! I haven't taken Charlie here in ages. Thought it might be a good idea, to have a family trip! This is Charlie's girlfriend, and these are my servants. And also, you already know Lysander." Lucifer didn't even need to prepare. Lying came so easily to him.
"Cecilia, right?" Charlie spoke up. Thank fucking whoever that Charlie remembered the woman's name. Lucifer heard it, and all of a sudden, the woman's red and dress with white trim made a little more sense, as did all the festive decorations.
"Ja! Good to see you, princess." The woman bowed deeply.
"Cecilia, darling, great to see you." Now was time for Lucifer to put on the charm. He remembered exactly whose daughter this was. "How's your dad?"
"Um, Sir?" Michael tapped him on the shoulder, sounding a little urgent, but Lucifer brushed him off as he was in the middle of greeting.
"Oi. Boss-Man-" Lysander started to speak but Lucifer just talked over him
"Surprised he didn't come out and greet us himself! I feel like it's been forever!"
"Well... he's dead. I'm in charge now." Cecilia looked rather taken aback by the question; Lucifer wanted to melt into the snow and never be seen again.
"Oh, I'm um... sorry to hear that."
"Yes, well... it was a few years ago. We are doing our best to move on in his absence." She bowed her head and only now did Lucifer see the whip and basket strapped to her.
"Hiiiiiii! I'm Syn! It's my first time here!" Syn flew up in the woman's face.
"Oh well you are going to love it!" Cecelia turned and faced the group the cheer returning to her voice. "Greetings friends and servants of our powerful and wonderful King! I am Cecilia Krampus and I'm here to personally welcome you to my home!"
"Oh shit, Krampus?" Vaggie looked her up from the tip of her holly-adorned horn, to the bottom of her leather knee-high boots covering her hooves. "You are not what I was expecting."
"I'm still new... It's only been about five years? I'm still working on all the rebranding." Krampus didn't seem all that concerned with the surprise.
"Cecilia, my servants need to go put their things down, but I would love to catch up if you're not busy." Lucifer quickly started handing things to Adam. Krampus senior was dead and that seemed like pretty big news that he should have known about. Also, there was the matter of the unauthorized barrier crossing.
"For you I always have time!" Krampus bowed gracefully. "Please, you are our royal guests! Allow me." She clapped her hands together and more of the blue skinned, ice-based demons with the double tails came rushing over. One was dressed far more elegantly than the others, and Krampus pulled him aside gently. "My darling," Lucifer squinted as he was ninety nine percent sure he knew the well-dressed demon to whom she was speaking. "Can you show them to the King's usual accommodations?" The black ram horns, the fiery red hair... wasn't that Lysander's dad?
"Of course, my love." The voice seemed too calm tempered, too even. Abdiel's voice was predominantly shouting.
"UNCLE!" Lysander grabbed the War-look-alike from behind and lifted him into the air. The Hellborn didn't really resist.
"Good to see you nephew." He patted Lysander on the shoulder the moment he was put down on his feet. That made sense. Lucifer briefly thought he might be privy to some ice-demon love affair. But it seemed it was something far more mundane.
"Boss-Man!" Lysander waved Lucifer over, "have ya met my Uncle!?"
"We've met several times, actually." The uncle replied rather dryly as he took a moment to bow to the King before him. "I am Xan'Del'Fiin, son of Azazel, Abdiel's identical twin brother. Please, call me Xan, if it would suit you."
"Master is also a twin!" Syn helpfully butted in to the introduction.
"I'm aware." Xan didn't bat an eye at the talking silver tube with wings, googly eyes, and a bow. Now that Lucifer got a closer look, Xan was missing the scar around his neck that Lucifer had seen on Abdiel. Lucifer was never close to Azazel, but he knew a bit about him from Azrael.
"I'm shocked to see Azazel's son married to a Krampus. I thought your families didn't see eye to eye." Lucifer recalled stories of how Treachery had been split in two, beneath the ice was run by Azazel, above the ice was run by Krampus. The two constantly bickered over who was the rightful owner. But it was Wrath so it wasn't like fighting was anything out of the ordinary. Lucifer just assumed that Satan had it handled. And when he personally visited, he only stayed above ground and dealt with Krampus. Lilith... was not a fan of the Krampus family and typically stayed in the room whenever he took Charlie to see him.
"Well, dad's gone, and Lord Krampus-rest his soul- didn't have a problem with me." The more Xan talked, the less he resembled Abdiel. His voice was level to the point it was monotone. "Not sure why you're shocked. We invited you to the wedding."
"Oh. Right." That was probably in Lucifer's mail pile back at home. "Sorry, I was really busy. I wanted to go, really I did."
"After you guys put everything down, you should come check out the Kramsion! It's my Auntie's sick mansion!" Lysander, thankfully, interrupted the conversation.
"Don't call it that." His uncle gave him a rather annoyed look.
"Kramsion! Not to brag, Virgil, but this place is pretty fucking sweet. It's the best place to spend Krampmas!" Lysander turned toward Michael, as his Uncle reached up, pulling on his horn to turn him back around.
"Don't call it Krampmas either."
"It's way too fucking cold here." Adam seemed to be oblivious to all the chaos around him, focused, instead, on his phone which he was desperately trying use while wearing mittens. Lucifer could see him actively shivering.
"You guys follow Lady Krampus's husband to my usual accommodations." Lucifer had a winter home in Treachery, a lovely lake house with an incredible view, and, more importantly, indoor heating. Plus, he needed to talk to Krampus. "Charlie, Virgil, you two come with me."
"Oh! Find us a good room!" Charlie pulled Vaggie into a kiss. "I will be right there! I have to go with dad!" Lucifer could practically feel the excitement in her voice. Vaggie smiled, putting a gloved hand to Charlie's rosy cheek.
"Have fun, babe. I'm happy for you."
"Am I in some sort of trouble?" Krampus looked at the Princess and King with a bit of hesitation. "If this is about the paperwork, I promise you I am trying-"
"It's fine." Lucifer assured her quickly as the others started to leave. "It's just some routine questions. Can we talk in your office?"
"Of course." Krampus gestured for them to follow as she started to walk through the frozen, winding roads of Treachery. All around there were Hellborns, shopping, playing in the snow, going about their daily lives. Most were the same icy brand of Hellborn as Lysander, the Treachery natives, but there were many others that were clearly visiting on a holiday vacation to see Krampus in action.
It was funny, Krampus had a very different role on Earth, but typically for the Hellborn, he had acted as some kind of strange Santa-esque figure, giving the youth of Hell's natives little toys and candy before he headed off to the human world to dish out punishments. Charlie used to love it when she was little. Lucifer always thought it was a waste, but seeing all the young Hellborn running around, playing in the snow, it... made some degree of sense. There wasn't a lot going for the citizens of Hell. If this made them happy, who was he to stop them? The citizens would stop and stare as he passed, looking on in awe to see the royal family in person. Charlie would wave at each one as she followed behind. Krampus would occasionally stop to hand the children candy as she guided Lucifer to a tall, towering mansion near the center of town. There were gargoyles made of ice, frost pouring from their gaping maws as they kept watch. There were guards all around the doors that bowed as they followed Krampus inside. A plush red carpet tumbled down a spiraling staircase of solid ice as clear as glass. As Krampus's hooves hit the carpet, even through her boots, it created a burst of frost. She guided them up the stairs through thick double doors into a large office. Behind her chair was a portrait of her with her father, sharp teeth, more fur than hair, sunken eyes and cheeks.
"It's nice, yes?" Krampus must have followed his gaze to the portrait as she closed the doors behind her taking a seat in a large, black and red throne-like chair.
"I'm sorry, about your dad." Lucifer tore his gaze away. He had his own pictures at home, memories of happier times in life.
"I miss him. We had our disagreements, but we both wanted what was best for Treachery. I thought things were getting better with Azazel gone... but..." she sighed, she picked up a glass from her desk and went to take a drink but the liquid inside had frozen solid. "Verdammt."
"May I ask what happened to him?" Lucifer took a seat in one of the chairs on the opposite side of Krampus's desk.
"You can join the club in asking. He was killed when he was in the human world of all places. I never found out what happened. I only found him after he failed to come home." Krampus was at least open, though the topic of conversation was quite grim.
"Oh, Cecilia!" Charlie didn't even sit down before she hurried around the massive desk to give the towering form of Krampus a large hug. "I am so sorry!"
"Thank you, Princess. Your condolences mean a lot." Krampus, surprisingly, returned the hug, her two tails wrapping around Charlie as she pulled her close.
"Our heart goes out to you and your family in your time of need. If you require anything, please feel free to reach out." Michael had to keep vague in his response. Lucifer had the distinct feeling that the Archangel of Fucking over Lucifer already knew of Cecelia's father's passing.
"Thank you, random servant." Krampus gave him an uncertain look. Lucifer tried not to say anything that would give Michael away.
"He's my... assistant. What he means to say is that you have the full support of the royal family. We are happy to aid in any way we can while you adjust to all these changes."
"Well, that is very nice. Would have been a little nicer five years ago, after it happened. But thank you for your help, regardless." Cecelia tented her clawed fingertips together, looking at the Devil across from her. Lucifer could see her father's golden ring upon her finger. It was one of the rare artefacts that gave her access to any realm- specifically Purgatory. Though, Krampus did not often need to pass through the labyrinthine wilderness- it was sometimes the quickest way back to Hell. And since Krampus was an old and respected Hellborn, he had been granted the ability to navigate the unforgiving terrain without side effects. "But I assume that you're not just here to give my family your condolences since you seem surprised to hear of my father's passing."
"You're correct." Lucifer straightened in his chair, squaring his shoulders back. "I need to talk to you about unauthorized activity here in Treachery. You and Abdiel are the leaders here, and I doubt I'll get anything definite from him."
"He's not around much. The Horsemen are busy. Plus, our families have been joined. Treachery is under a unified rule. If something is going on, I would know about it. So, what sort of activity has drawn the Devil out here?" Krampus leaned forward, her elbows on her desk, her tail swishing. Charlie returned to stand beside her father, a hand on his shoulder. Michael stood on his other side. It was nice to feel like he had some level of support (though he couldn't care less if Michael supported his actions or not, but having Charlie behind him was reassuring). Lucifer took a deep breath.
"Cerberus has told me of unauthorized access out of Hell, stemming from someone here in Treachery."
"Oh." Krampus didn't seem as shocked as he might have thought. "I think that might be a misunderstanding." She let her hands fall on her desk.
"Is something wrong?" Charlie spoke up.
"I think the unauthorized access is..." Krampus trailed off, her fangs biting into her lower lip as she looked a little sheepish, "me?"
"You? But Krampus always leaves Hell this time of year, you have to get to Earth. That's not exactly new." Lucifer knew that the Cerberus sisters had been slacking on their work, but surely, they remembered that Krampus existed.
"Yeah... my dad had access. I do not. And let me tell you trying to fill out all the necessary paperwork to gain access through the barrier is a nightmare. I sort of... gave up?" She gave a little shrug. "Sorry if that made you come all this way! But I'm glad to have you!"
Fuck.
Was that really the issue?
"Just a moment." Lucifer beckoned for Charlie and Michael to follow him as he stepped out into the hallway. He pulled his phone out of his pocket dialing the number for the Cerberus sisters' main office. It wasn't long before he got an answer.
"Why are you calling?" Cerena sounded annoyed.
"Hi Cerena!" Charlie piped up.
"Oh, hey, Princess." Cerena immediately lightened up.
"I heard there was some strange stuff going on in Treachery that you guys found! Is that right?" Charlie could get further with the sisters, Lucifer might just let her do the talking because all he could think to say was: what the fuck.
"Yeah, there was a bit of crossing over without prior authorization." Cerena was so much nicer to Charlie it was a little unfair.
"Did you bother to see if it was: Krampus?" Lucifer had to get at least one jab at Cerena after she had tried to tear him apart during their last face-to-face meeting.
"Oh." He heard Bernadette in the background. "That explains... a lot of it. But I thought Krampus was dead."
"Oh, so you guys knew about that. Thanks for the heads up." Lucifer scoffed.
"No one told you to go, asshole." Cerena sounded unimpressed.
"Well, actually," Charlie interrupted before a fight broke out. "Krampus has a daughter and she is doing all the duties now!"
"Right! Cecelia!" Rusti piped up. "How is she?"
"Well, her dad is fucking dead." Cerena replied flatly.
"Did I come all this way, because you guys didn't remember that FUCKING KRAMPUS EXISTS!?" Lucifer felt a hand over his mouth as Charlie leaned over his shoulder.
"Thank you so much for everything, girls, we'll be in touch!" And with that, she pressed the end-call button.
"Well, that was... anticlimactic." Michael remarked flatly.
"Oh, you shut the fuck up." Lucifer glared at the Archangel who was currently wearing the face of a demon.
"Now, this isn't a bad thing!" Charlie put a hand on her father's shoulder and her other hand on Michael's pushing the two apart. "We're already here, in Treachery, and it's literally the BEST time of year. Why don't we all have a little fun!?" She glanced at the door behind her. "Also, we should probably get a sympathy card and some muffins for Krampus."
"Did you know about that?" Lucifer glared over in Michael's direction. Michael blinked, looking unsure of how to react.
"The death of Krampus? Yes. Lysander told me. Well... he called him Grampus but I was able to figure out what he meant."
"Cool, so you just let me make an ass of myself then." Lucifer glared at him, putting his hands on his hips.
"I tried to stop you." Michael replied at the same time Charlie added
"He tried to stop you."
"Right. Well, let's just tell her that everything is fine and that Cerberus just fucked up on her paperwork." Lucifer threw his hands up in the air.
"I don't think that she did the paperwork in Cerberus's defense." Michael followed behind him as Lucifer pushed through the office doors back to where Krampus was waiting. Michael immediately fell back, behind him, letting Lucifer take the lead. Krampus stood up as he re-entered, bowing to him, before taking her seat once again.
"Welcome back, my king!"
"Krampus, apologies for the inconvenience, but it seems that your lack of paperwork was the cause of all of this. I'll put you in touch with Cerberus so you can get that sorted out." Lucifer tried to keep his tone professional. Krampus tilted her head to the side.
"Does this have to be... immediate? It is my busy season."
"No. But if you do see anything unusual, I want you to report it to me." He might as well put her on high alert. Since she crossed the barrier more than most, perhaps she could notice something amiss before even the Cerberus Sisters could.
"Danke." Cecelia bowed her head respectfully. "I will keep my eye out for anything of note, my King. And please, enjoy your stay here in Treachery."
"Oh, we are going to! Do you still have the little train that goes around the city?" Charlie wasn't nearly as formal as her father, but she was probably just excited.
"We do~" Krampus gave the princess a wink.
"AH! I have to take Vaggie on the train!" Charlie almost squealed with excitement. "Thank you so much! It's great to see you Cece- oh, sorry- Krampus!"
They took their leave of Krampus's mansion and headed toward Lucifer's winter home to regroup. This was supposed to be a mission, but now it seemed as if he had dragged himself out of his home for no fucking reason. Michael was probably eating this shit up. It probably made him feel so superior to see Lucifer fumbling a lead like this.
Oh well, at least he got to spend some time with Charlie.
The day was uneventful, outside of touristy things. Vaggie and Charlie were taking pictures together, enjoying their time in the snow. Syn attempted to make snow angels by rolling around. Lysander kept taking them to really obscure restaurants that were actually quite good. Adam and Lysander got into a snowball fight that actually got a little aggressive. Michael helped Syn bult her first snowman, and Charlie and Vaggie helped her to decorate.
Overall, it was fun, Adam seemed... still kinda upset about Cain. But at least he seemed to enjoy himself. (Not that Lucifer cared.) Other than that, everyone seemed to be in pretty good spirits. It was a happy day in Hell.
Rare as that was.
As night fell, everyone headed back inside Lucifer's winter home. He had not been there in years the decorations were incredibly dated. The family portrait that hung over the fireplace still had Charlie as a little girl. (He loved that painting. The way Charlie smiled brought life back to the eyes of her parents). It was a little dusty, though Lucifer could tell that someone had made an attempt to clean. He assumed it was either Charlie or Michael, though he had no idea when they would have found the time. (Maybe it was Vaggie?)
"Come here everyone!" Charlie waved her hand as she started grabbing chairs and putting them around the fire. "Have a seat!" She was the Princess of Hell, so there was no protest as Lysander, Syn, Michael, Vaggie, and even Adam took seats in the offered chairs. Lucifer could tell his daughter was planning something. "Dad, come on! Have a seat!"
"Of course, apple bloom!" Lucifer quickly grabbed a seat between Adam and Michael and immediately regretted not grabbing one sooner.
"I got you all PRESANTS!" Charlie clapped her hands together and Vaggie grinned, jumping to her feet and grabbing a big red bag that was tucked away in a closet.
"FUCK YEAH! PRINCESS GIFTS!" Lysander kicked back in his chair as Charlie reached into the bag, handing out little wrapped gifts to each person. Lucifer stared at the box in his hand, open mouthed. He carefully undid the wrapping as he pulled out a beautiful white scarf with an image of an apple in red on one end and a duck on the other. He looked around to see that Lysander had gotten a hat with the logo from his college, Syn got a fluffy pink cozy, Adam got a pair of mittens, and Michael (for some fucking reason) got a blue scarf with the image of a sword stitched into it.
"I know it's not much, but I have been learning to crochet from Alastor, and I just wanted to do something nice!" Charlie surveyed all of the reactions.
"Char-char! You're too kind!" Lucifer stood up and hugged her tightly. "I love it."
"CHARLIEEEEE, I LOVE IT! HELP ME PUT IT ON!"
"I'm so glad!" Charlie hurried to help Syn with her cozy.
"It's beautiful, princess, thank you." Michael immediately put the scarf on.
"Thanks." Adam stared blankly at the gift in his hand.
"Well, damn, if we're doing this here, I already gave the other workers their gifts, and Vaggie. But here you go, Boss-Man." Lysander got up going to grab his bag and opening it up. He pulled out a stuffed animal, handing it to Charlie and handed Lucifer a mug. "Made it myself." He winked at the Devil as Lucifer looked at the mug to see a cute image of his own face and the words: World's Okay-est Boss. He smirked.
"Thanks Lysander!" Charlie ran over giving him a hug.
"Cute." Lucifer smirked at the mug.
"I made you all drawings, but they are upstairs!"
"That's fine. This wasn't an official gift exchange." Charlie waved it off.
They talked for a little longer before people started heading back to their rooms. Michael gestured for Charlie, Lucifer, and Adam to follow him to his room. Fearing the worst, Lucifer followed him in, only to be met with a wrapped gift getting shoved into his arms.
"Oh!" Charlie blinked as she opened her gift to see multiple sweets from Heaven. "Oh, these smell amazing!"
"I couldn't give it to you in public for obvious reasons." Michael was back in his normal form as Charlie tried to hug him, her arms still filled with food.
"This is dumb, Michael-" Lucifer started to open the gift but froze the moment he saw it. His hands trembled, he didn't know whether to cry or scream. So, he just settled on an: "Oh." as he stared at the golden bow in his hand. He had not touched this particular weapon since he had gone by the name Luciael. "You still have this."
"I kept it for you." Michael replied quietly.
"I can't use it anymore." Lucifer felt the familiar weight in his hands. It felt nice to hold it again. But the arrows had been something he made himself with holy fire. Now that he was infernal, it was nothing more than decorative.
"Dad... was that your Angel Weapon?" Charlie looked mystified as she touched the glowing metal. There were still constellations carved into it. They used to glow when he drew the string back, now they were simply etchings.
"Why did I get a phone?" Adam looked at what Michael had handed to him. The Archangel glanced over (Lucifer swore he saw the eyes in the halos roll) as he reached over and tapped the screen. Adam's eyes widened, then began to water. Lucifer looked over to see Abel and Seth on the screen talking. Oh... that was a good fucking gift.
"They recorded that for you. They want to talk more, but contact is hard-" Michael was cut off as Adam practically tackled him, arms around his neck, head buried into his shoulder.
"Thank you." Adam looked like he was shaking.
"Uncle Michael, these are so thoughtful." Charlie looked touched as she examined her snacks. "Did Emily help pick these out?"
"Don't call him uncle." Lucifer protested as he used his magic to put the bow in a safe place back at the mansion.
"She did. These are Emily's top recommendations." Michael seemed content to ignore Lucifer's (valid) protests. "That's why there are like three different cereals. Those are her favorite."
"I got you something too." Lucifer interrupted before Michael could try and step all over his and Charlie's relationship any more. He snapped his fingers and a book appeared in his hand. "You want to be more involved, so I got you a book on the history of Corruption. It's super rare. A little more important than cereal."
"Dad." Charlie gave him a look. She took the book, flipping through it. "Thank you, this is really nice of you. But, honestly," she wrapped her arms around her father's neck, hugging him closely. "Just being able to spend this time together is gift enough."
"I'll also make you anything you need for the Hotel." Lucifer added.
"Thank you, dad."
"And I got you something too, asshole, because I'm nice." Lucifer reached into his pocket, drawing out that stupid duck in the frog hat and practically shoving it at Michael. "It's that fucking duck you like so much."
"Aww, I love it!" Michael looked genuinely happy to receive the gift, which only stood to make Lucifer feel worse about himself.
"Right," The Devil grabbed Adam by the collar, "this has been fun, but it's getting late. We should all go back to our rooms. Say goodnight to Michael, Char-Char." Lucifer used his other arm to slowly push Charlie toward the door.
"Thank you for everything, Uncle Michael!" Charlie turned to look back at Michael as he was pushed out of the room.
"Not your uncle!" Lucifer replied over Michael's attempts to say goodnight, The Devil was all too happy to shut that door. "Rest well Honeycrisp." He stopped outside her door, pressing a kiss to her forehead (having to make her bend down to do so).
"Night dad. Thank you for everything. And thank you Adam for that scrapbooking set!" Charlie squeezed her father tightly before opening the door and hurrying to show Vaggie her new gifts. Lucifer slowly turned to look at Adam.
"Scrapbooking set?"
"I gave it to her earlier. She likes scrapbooking." Adam shrugged. Lucifer just sighed heavily, grabbing Adam once again and dragging him all the way to the Master bedroom. There was a huge bed, and a couch large enough to be a bed. That was where Adam would stay. Adam was still staring at the phone Michael had given him.
"You going to bed?" Lucifer snapped his fingers to try to get Adam's attention. The First Man looked up. He seemed briefly conflicted as he stared, hard, at Lucifer.
"Yeah, hang on." Adam put the phone down and walked into the closet where he must have left his bag. Lucifer looked at the phone on the bed before pulling out his own phone. He let out a heavy sigh as he pulled up his text messages.
To: Cain {10:12 PM}: You should call your dad.
"Are you coming back?" Lucifer could hear Adam shuffling around in the closet. The First man reappeared with a sloppily wrapped package in his hands. He practically shoved it toward Lucifer almost knocking his phone out of his hands.
"This is for you."
"What is it?"
"Fucking open it. That's how gifts work."
"Is this going to burn me?"
"Give it back if you don't want it." Adam tried to snatch the package but Lucifer shoved his hand away from him.
"No, it's mine." Lucifer slowly ripped the paper off to reveal... a duck. It was a stuffed duck, clearly hand made. The craftsmanship was far from perfect, but he could at least tell what it was. "Did..." he looked up at Adam who wouldn't make eye contact. "Did you make this?"
"Y... yeah. I know it sucks. But I saw how much that one Azzie made meant to you. But you gave that to Charlie so I thought... I dunno... it's fucking stupid."
"... thank you." Lucifer didn't know what else to say. So, instead he got up and picked up the nearest trash can.
"Are you throwing it away!?"
"Here." Lucifer handed the trash can to Adam, taking the stuffed duck and putting it on his pillow on the bed. Adam immediately started to throw up as Lucifer pulled his phone out to quickly send another message.
To: Cain {10:18 PM}: Seriously. Call your fucking dad.
"You actually like it?" Adam sounded suspicious through the violent heaving.
"I hate it. It's stupid."
"Then give it back."
"No, it's mine. You gave it to me. And I got you this!" Lucifer snapped and a golden guitar materialized in front of the First Man. "I think I owe it to you." Adam smirked.
"If the dinner party was a disaster, you had to get me a golden guitar."
"And that party was a fucking disaster."
To: Cain {10:21 PM}: If you don't call your dad, I swear I will dig up every plant in my garden and set them on fire.
"Told you it would be." Adam started to laugh but ended up throwing up again. "Though, that's hardly a gift since I won it in a bet."
"That's because that's not you gift."
Adam's phone rang.
"Holy shit! It's Cain!"
"That's your gift." Lucifer couldn't shake the warm feeling that washed over him as Adam's whole face lit up when he answered the phone. The Devil decided to give the First Man his privacy. He walked back out into the Hallway.
Tonight was turning out to be... not the worst.
Lucifer was shocked as he nearly crashed into Krampus in the hallway. She looked rather rushed. He would have thought she's be in the human world by now. "Your majesty!" she bowed to him rather quickly.
"You're still here."
"Ja, I was on my way out, but I forgot something. I..." She looked a little out of breath. "I think someone tried to break in to my vater's old office."