Well, what do you know? You guys only had to wait one extra day for a new upload! I bet you thought I would just wait until next Friday to post, but nah. I decided to be generous this time.
And in other news, the glitch is back. Or maybe it's been back and I just haven't noticed until now. I'm starting to think I might need to move to some other website to post my fanfictions from now on, because this is just unacceptable.
Anyway, today's episode is "The Internship," which probably would be another throwaway chapter...if not for the casting of Scratch's intern, Reggie. To avoid spoilers, I won't say who I casted to play him here, but if you've been reading this since the beginning, you've seen the hints I've dropped. You guys asked for it, and now it's time...
Without further ado, let's get started...
Stretch, Stinkie, & Fatso: Muahahahahahaaaa!
Molly: Can't believe you're all mine
Fatso: Uh, what?
Molly: You and me for all time
Stretch: No way!
Molly: I'm never, ever, EVER gonna be alone again
Stinkie: This stinks!
Molly: It's just you three and me
Fatso: For all eternity?!
Molly: For all ETERNITY!
Stretch, Stinkie, & Fatso: NOOOO!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: It's the Ghost-Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee
Fatso: We've been cursed!
Stinkie: It's the worst!
Molly: Now you're stuck with me
Molly & Ghostly Trio: We're never gonna be apart
Stretch: Is there a way to hit 'restart'?
Molly: Nope!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: We're the Ghost-Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee
Molly: That's me!
Stinkie: Well, that's she. Hee, hee, hee!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee!
Fatso: Oh yeah!
Chapter 32
Intern of the Century
"Okay class, listen up!" Mrs. Roop, Molly's history teacher announced. "Hope you're ready to experience the relentless grind of 9 to 5 employment! Because it's…Internship Week!"
The Trio were beside Molly, invisible to the rest of the class like usual.
"'Internship Week'?" Stretch repeated with a scoff. "That's the lamest idea I ever heard!"
"Yeah, what kinda weirdo gets excited about hard work?" Stinkie mentioned.
"Oh boy! Internship Week?!" Molly cheered. "I'm so excited!"
"Ask and ye shall receive an answer." Fatso recited.
Molly hugged the Trio. "Don't you guys get it? Internship Week is the first step in my lifelong mission to enhappify the world! First, I get the internship. Then I get hired full-time. Then I become employee of the year and of the decade! And before you know it, I'll be giving my acceptance speech after receiving a lifetime achievement award in enhappification!" she pictured the applause in her head. "Yes, yes, thank you. I know, I deserve it."
Stretch snapped her out of the fantasy. "I don't know what delusional drip taught you about internships, but whoever did is full of bologna!"
"Ooh, we have something in common then!" Fatso patted his belly. "I just ate a hoagie so I'm full of bologna, too! At least my tummy is."
"Yer stomach may be full, but we can't say the same about yer head!" Stinkie quipped.
"Allow us to re-educate you on the idea of internships, Moll." Stretch continued. "They ain't about doin' good. They're about trickin' poor naive suckers like you into doin' someone else's work for free!" he paused to contemplate this statement. "Huh. Actually, now that I think about it, that sounds like a brilliant idea!"
"Yeah, havin' our own stooge to do everythin' for us?" Stinkie clarified. "We could be livin' the afterlife! The only problem is…how we gonna find someone dumb enough to want to be our slave?"
Fatso was in the middle of reading a ghost newspaper. "Whaddya know? The Ghost Council is lookin' for volunteers as part of a new internship program that allows school-aged spirits to gain scarin' experience. What an innovative way to get the little ghouls started on their boo bashin' career path!"
Stretch snatched the paper and read through it himself. He grinned toothily.
"Ha, hah! Ask and ye shall receive an answer, indeed!" he opened a portal and dragged Fatso in. "Later, Moll!"
Stinkie followed them. "Gee, this is the first time I've ever been happy to volunteer for somethin'!"
The portal closed, leaving Molly at her desk by herself. She turned her attention back to Mrs. Roop, who had retrieved a hat full of pieces of paper, each one with a different business's name on it.
"For our first internship, we have…" she picked a random paper. "Ah, Pam's Cake 'n Bake! That's a good one. That place has the sweetest treats in Brighton. Which makes sense, since they were made by the sweetest woman in Brighton: my wife."
Molly beamed. "A bakery? That's the perfect place to enhappify people! Everybody loves cake! Please pick me, please pick me!" she kicked her feet in anticipation.
"And the internship goes to…Libby!"
"Yes!" an exuberant Libby ran to the front of the class to accept the job.
Molly frowned, slightly disappointed, but she tried to keep things in perspective.
"Okay, that's okay. I don't need to work at a bakery. Libby deserves it way more than I do. And there's still lots of other great places."
Mrs. Roop picked another piece of paper. "Next up, we have…Barkle-Sparkle's Animal Shelter!"
Molly gasped. "That's even better than a bakery! Puppies are the ultimate symbol of joy!"
"Andrea!" Mrs. Roop announced.
Andrea Davenport came up to take the paper from Mrs. Roop, her eyes glued to her phone as always. Molly slumped in her seat. "Aw man! Andrea doesn't even like dogs! You know what? It's fine. I'm sure my turn is coming soon!"
The internship assignments continued and each time Molly thought she was going to get called on, another student was picked instead. Eventually, every student in the class had received their assigned business except for Molly. The poor girl had grown so tired of waiting patiently, that she ended up falling asleep at her chair. But eventually, Mrs. Roop reached the bottom of the hat and pulled out the last paper.
"And last but not least, Molly McGee!"
Molly jolted awake. "Yes! Finally!"
"Your internship will be…Weird Larry's Pawn Shop!"
Molly's face fell in despair. "Oh sweet baby corn…"
Meanwhile, in the Ghost World, the Trio were in the middle of meeting with the Ghost Council to get matched with their own intern.
"So, let me get this straight…you three want to enroll in the Scare School internship program?" J. Edgar Boover summed up while reviewing the application the Trio had signed.
"Why do ya sound so surprised?" Stretch inquired. "We love kids!"
"We love helpin' our community!" Stinkie added.
"We love the earth, it is our planet!" Fatso sang.
Stretch whacked him on the head. "So, what do ya say?"
"Well, it's a bit unusual." Ms. Banshee admitted. "But I think we have the perfect intern for you boys."
"Yes!" Stinkie fist pumped.
"Boo-yah!" Fatso high-fived Stinkie.
"Well, what are ya waitin' for?" Stretch demanded. "Bring in the little haunter!"
Ms. Banshee clapped her hands. "Oh Casper?"
Suddenly, a small round-headed ghost appeared in front of the Council, much to the Trio's dismay.
"Yes, Ms. Banshee?" the younger phantom turned to the Trio. "Oh, hi guys! Long time no see!"
Stretch glanced at the readers. "Hey, ya knew he would show up eventually."
Ms. Banshee summoned a scroll. "According to Casper's report card, he is polite to all of his teachers, shares with his classmates, and is all around very friendly and cooperative."
Casper couldn't help but blush. Ms. Banshee continued.
"In other words…HE'S A DISGRAAAAACE!"
Casper was blown toward the Trio, knocking them down like bowling pins.
"It's very concerning." J. Edgar Boover nodded. "We fear that if Casper does not learn proper ghost etiquette, the only future he'll have is spinning endlessly in the Flow of Failed Phantoms."
Stretch sat up. "So, why is that our problem?"
"You are his only non-living guardians." Ms. Stifflips reminded him. "Clearly, his appalling behavior is a result of him not having good role models to lead him in the wrong direction. As his uncles, you are meant to set an example and show him that being a friendly ghost is simply unacceptable!"
"Ja," Professor Frankenstein concurred. "What if instead of scaring fleshies, he tries to make friends with zem? Can you imagine, a ghost and a fleshie being friends?"
"Actually yes, 'cause we're friends with-" Fatso tried to say only to get his mouth covered by Stinkie.
"Uh, no way!" he chuckled nervously. "The livin' and non-livin' coexistin'? That could never happen!"
"We don't care what the kid does!" Stretch argued. "He ain't our responsibility and he never was! Assign him to someone else!"
"Too late!" Ms. Banshee shook her head. "You signed the application, and it says all intern assignments are final. SO TAKE IT OR LEAVE IIIIIT!"
The Trio scowled as their nephew flew up to them.
"Cheer up, guys. This could be fun! I can't remember the last time we bonded like this. Actually, I don't think we ever have."
"Listen bulbhead," Stretch lectured. "If we have to spend a whole week with you, then we get to call the shots! That means you have to do whatever we say! Got it?"
"Uh…sure, I guess." Casper shrugged. "But…what does that have to do with being a good scarer?"
"Hey! Did we tell ya to ask questions?" Stinkie accused.
"Um…no?"
"We didn't think so." Stretch sneered. "And one more thing! Your name may be displayed at the top of the page, but this is still our story! So, don't even think about tryin' to steal our spotlight…or else!"
Casper gulped. "Oh boy…this is gonna be a long week…"
The Trio and their nephew exited through a portal, arriving back in the world of the living. The first thing they saw was Molly standing in front of Weird Larry's Pawn Shop.
"Yikes." Stretch noted. "So, this is where ya got assigned to, huh? The place where happy memories go to die? Tough break."
Stinkie breathed in. "Ahh…I just love the smell of disappointment in the mornin'. Oh wait, that's just Larry's skunks. Hi girls!"
Molly looked down and shrieked upon seeing three of the smelly black-and-white creatures at her feet. The skunks were so startled by her scream, that they sprayed her, coating her with a foul stench. Everyone coughed, except for Stinkie who just savored the scent like always.
"Aww…I missed you too, ya little fuzzbutts!"
While struggling to breathe, Casper approached Molly.
"Oh! Who's this little cutie?" Molly asked with her nose plugged.
"Hi! I'm Casper, the Trio's nephew."
Molly held out her free hand to shake. "Hi, Casper! I'm Molly."
"Nice to meet you."
"Hey, hey, hey!" Stretch pulled Casper away. "What do ya think yer doin'? You don't get to talk to Molly! She's our friend, not yours!"
"But I thought ghosts weren't allowed to make friends with fleshies?" Casper pointed out.
"Which is why if you say one word about it to the Ghost Council, the Flow of Failed Phantoms will be the least of yer problems!"
"Oh, that reminds me. They wanted me to tell you-"
"Shut it!" Stinkie ordered. "Now listen up, dough boy! If you know me, you know I love the smell of skunk. But my friend Molly here doesn't appreciate the fragrant aroma like I do. So, for your first task as our intern, you're gonna clear the air for 'er!"
"Okay, but I still don't see how this'll help me with my scar-"
"NOW!" the Trio screamed.
Reluctantly, Casper opened his mouth and sucked in all of the stink cloud surrounding Molly. When he finished, he swallowed it and shuddered in disgust. Once the smell was gone, Molly unplugged her nose and gave the Trio a look of disapproval.
"You guys should really be nicer to him, you know."
"And why would we do that?" Stretch snarked.
"Well, he's just an intern now, but one day, he could be your boss."
The Trio paused to process what Molly had said…and then burst out laughing.
"Oh, that is hilarious, Moll!" Stinkie slapped her on the back. "Casper's the friendliest ghost we know! The chances of him becomin' the boss of anythin' in the Ghost World are practically less than zero!"
"Yeah, he'll be lucky if he graduates Scare School with a D-average!" Fatso guffawed.
"Here's a little advice, kiddo," Stretch offered. "You worry about yer internship and we'll worry about ours, okay?" he turned to his brothers. "Speakin' of work, though, I've worked up a bit of an appetite. How 'bout you fellas?"
"Oh, you bet!" Stinkie confirmed.
"My appetite is always worked up!" Fatso stated.
"Oh Caaasper?" Stretch called.
"Coming, Uncle Stretch…" Casper groaned. "Man, the things I do for work experience..."
Molly stood back as the ghoulish boy followed his uncles into the pawn shop. And while she was concerned for him and the way the Trio were treating him, she had other things to worry about. Like working at the saddest little shop in all of Brighton.
Molly entered the pawn shop and winced as the smell of skunk returned once again. Weird Larry was sitting at the register blowing up an inflatable duck floatie when he saw Molly come in.
"Ah! You must be my new intern!" he hopped over the counter and his skunks crawled onto his shoulders. "Welcome to Weird Larry's Pawn Shop! Where, I-oh! I mean, we buy and sell weird yet wonderful relics, reminders, and remembrances!" he gestured to a creepy doll right as its head popped off, much to Molly's discomfort.
Just then, the bell on top of the door rang, signifying the arrival of a customer. Or, in this case, three customers, all of whom had the same lifeless expression.
"Look, Molly!" Weird Larry cried. "Your first consumers of the day have arrived! Go greet 'em!"
Molly went behind the counter.
"Welcome to Weird Larry's Pawn Shop! How can I bring you joy today?"
The tallest of the three guys held out a box.
"Take our old junk…" he dumped the contents onto the counter.
"Yeah, we don't need it no more…" the one with an overbite claimed. "It's worthless…"
"Which is fittin' because so is our continued existence…" the big man sighed.
"Okay…" Molly dug through the pile. "We've got a rusty pair of pliers, a rusty fork, and…not sure what this is, but it's rusty. I'm sorry, gentlemen, but I don't think we can-"
Weird Larry handed the three men a wad of cash. "Take it all! Thank you for your generous contribution, good sirs! Have a weird, wonderful day!"
The men turned around and headed out the door.
"We're elated."
"We're ecstatic."
"We're nothing but tiny, insignificant specks of dust in a rapidly expanding universe…"
Molly gave Weird Larry a confused look once they were alone.
"Uh…Mr. Larry? I'm not trying to tell you how to run your business, but why would you spend money on this junk?" she picked up an eyeball on a spring.
"Junk?" Larry chuckled, grabbing some of the items. "It's not junk! These are all valuable treasures!"
"They…are?"
"Sure they are! After all, a thing's value shouldn't be determined by how much it's worth, but how much worth it brings to you. Treasure can be found anywhere, Molly. You just need to know where to look."
"Hm. Maybe…" Molly reached into the pile of stuff again and found a tiny toy robot. "Oh! I found something!"
"You're my best robot friend." the robot said.
"There you go!" Larry encouraged.
Molly set the robot on the counter and patted its head.
"Don't worry, little fella. Your previous owners may have given you up and broken your mechanical heart, but I promise we'll find you a new home."
SLAM!
Molly jumped back as Larry smashed a hammer onto the robot, breaking it into several pieces.
"Wah! Why would you do that?!"
Larry reached into the toy's open chest and yanked out a square device.
"Well, how else was I supposed to get this vintage T-140X dual-tone voice box? I need it to complete my top secret project."
"You have a top secret project?" Molly worried.
"Not just one! Several!" Weird Larry brought over a wheelbarrow full of old books, toys, and broken gadgets. "And since you're my intern for the week, you can help me finish one of them, by filing these acquisitions! Have fun!" he walked over to a curtain and disappeared behind it.
Molly groaned and started to push the wheelbarrow to the back of the store. When she got there, she noticed the Trio lying on lounge chairs while Casper fanned them.
"Um…Uncle Stretch?" Casper spoke up.
"Hey! Less talkin' more pamperin'!" Stretch scolded.
"Sorry. I was just wondering when you're going to teach me how to scare."
"You wanna scare? Fine! Scare us up some lemonade, short sheet! We're parched!"
"Yeah, and bake us more cookies, too!" Fatso commanded.
"But I'm not anywhere closer to acting like a real ghost." Casper reminded them. "And the Ghost Council said if I'm not scare-ready by the end of the week-"
"Blah, blah, blah!" Stinkie interrupted. "You interns always gotta make a big stink outta everything. Well, cut it out! Only I get to do that!" he burped in Casper's face, causing the young spirit to choke.
"Right," he coughed. "I'll be back with that lemonade."
Stretch laid down in his chair. "Ahh…havin' an intern is the best!"
"Wish I could say the same about being one." Molly slumped to the floor. "I haven't learned a thing so far! How am I supposed to enhappify the world when this internship is ensaddifying me?"
She took a black-and-white striped pillow out of a dresser and laid her head on it.
"I dunno, but ya probably won't get an answer from' layin' on that skunk." Stretch replied.
Molly sat up and gasped when she realized he was right and the next thing she knew, the skunk was blasting her with its rear.
Stinkie nudged Fatso in the arm. "They make it look so easy."
The next day in Mrs. Roop's class, Molly found herself completely ostracized from her peers due to the lingering skunk smell on her body. The students who normally sat next to her gagged upon getting a whiff of the odor and scooted as far away from it as possible. The Trio were still laying in lounge chairs being waited on by Casper.
"Hey Stinkman," Stretch quipped. "Looks like you got some competition when it comes to clearin' rooms!"
"I know!" Stinkie hugged Molly tightly, much to her annoyance. "We're practically twins now! Just call us Stink One and Stink Two!"
Molly groaned as Libby sat next to her, holding a tray of cupcakes.
"Check out these turnip-shaped cupcakes!" she exclaimed. "I made them myself during my internship! Isn't that cool?" she paused to sniff the air. "Oh, hi Stinkie. Smelling rancid as always, huh?"
"Thanks Libs, but I actually can't take the credit." Stinkie informed her. "Molly here managed to pick up some reekin' skills of her own thanks to her internship. Go ahead, Moll. I don't wanna brag for ya." he turned around, only to find Molly wasn't in her seat anymore. "Moll?"
Molly walked up to the front of the class to where Mrs. Roop was sitting at her desk.
"Excuse me, Mrs. Roop?"
Mrs. Roop sniffed. "What's that smell? It's like bleu cheese mixed with gasoline!"
Stinkie overheard her and shoved a notepad into Casper's hands. "Write that down!"
"Listen," Molly continued. "As you know, I'm an enhappifier. And the pawn shop is…well…it does the exact opposite of enhappify people. So, how about you just reassign me and we'll call it a day, okay?"
"Of course not! Don't be silly, Molly!" Mrs. Roop shook her head cheerfully. "But hey, I'm sure you can find a silver lining. You always do. And besides, if the shop is so depressing, isn't it your job to enhappify it?"
Molly smiled. "Hey…you're right! After all, I can't enhappify the world until I enhappify the pawn shop! Thank you, Mrs. Roop!
She reached her arms out for a hug, but Mrs. Roop pushed her away and held her nose.
"Uh-uh! Your scent is digging into my nostrils and it hurts."
"Nice one, Stink Two!" Stinkie giggled.
"Stop calling me that." Molly seethed.
After school, Molly headed straight to the pawn shop, this time with a brand new attitude. Instead of focusing on how miserable the place made her feel, she decided to work towards making it happier. And the best way to start, she figured, was by organizing all of Larry's junk.
Molly: When I'm down
Feeling blue
When I'm surrounded by a nightmarish milieu
Whoa!
I can change the world
I can make it better if I try
All I ever wanna do is
Enhappify
Enhappify
Molly wasn't the only one working her tail off, however, as Casper was still bending over backwards to make the Trio happy.
"Here's your donuts, Uncle Fatso!"
Fatso swiped the box from his nephew and peeked inside.
"What? No jelly-filled? That's gonna reflect negatively on your review, dough-boy!"
He slammed Casper into the box and all three of the Trio laughed.
Molly: Wipe the counter, mop the floor
Clear the cobwebs from the case
Move the taxidermy possum to a less prominent place
Who cares if there's a funky, skunky odor floating by?
I'll just breathe through my mouth and…
Enhappi-
Molly tried holding her breath, but the smell proved too powerful and she coughed violently until she fainted.
"Oh my gosh, it smells so bad!"
"Show-offs." Stinkie grumped, before taking a sip of soda and belching at Casper. "Give me another one! Let's go, move it!"
Molly: Once I start enhappifying
I don't plan on stopping
Say goodbye to broken watches, tattered kites, and old skunk droppings
"What the heck is this?!" Stretch complained to Casper after the latter brought the former a coffee. "I specifically asked for an iced decaf 10-pump caramel mocha latte! This is an iced decaf 10-pump caramel mocha frappe! Can't you do anything right?!"
"How am I supposed to tell the difference?" Casper asked. "I don't even drink coffee!"
"Then how 'bout you wear it instead?!" Stretch threatened and began chasing Casper around the shop with the full coffee cup in his hand.
Molly: Enhappify
Enhappify
Enhappifyyyy
Enhappify!
Molly continued to clean up the pawn shop for the next several days until she was all finished. Though she did have to go through several hardships like lifting heavy boxes, dusting in hard-to-reach spaces and surviving several skunk attacks, seeing the shop so neat and tidy at the end of the week made it all worthwhile. She couldn't help but feel proud of herself and was certain that Larry would be proud, too.
But when the strange man came out of the staff room and got a glimpse of his store, he was the exact opposite of proud. In fact, he was horrified.
"What in the weird, wide world happened to my shop?!"
"I filed everything just like you asked!" Molly explained. "And I may have done a little spring cleaning, too. Do you like it? Now you can find things better!"
"But…but where are my cans?" Larry panicked. "And my kites? And…"
He noticed a barrel of watches in the corner and gasped.
"My broken watches! Don't tell me you separated 'em from the working ones!"
"Um…er…" Molly stammered.
Vera the skunk snarled at her and prepared to spray her again.
"No, no, no, Vera!" Larry picked her up. "There's no need to go a-spraying. Molly didn't know. She doesn't understand how we run things around here. I'm sure she'll learn. Eventually…"
Vera gave Molly a very nasty stink-eye (no pun intended), almost as if she was trying to say: "I'm watching you."
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Molly. I really do." Larry continued. "But I liked my shop the way it was before. Please, put it all back."
"What?" Molly was flabbergasted. "But…but…"
Larry ignored her protests however, and headed for the back room again. Molly sighed, clearly upset that she had done all that work for nothing. She started to undo all of her efforts, starting with putting a rusty fork into a golden scale.
"Interns really do have it rough these days, don't they?" she lamented to Casper.
"Hey, at least you got told you were appreciated."
"CASPER!" Stretch screamed. "We're still waitin' on our lunch!"
Casper picked up a tray of sandwiches he had just made.
"Trust me. You have it better than you think."
He flew toward his uncles to deliver the food.
"Okay, okay! Here."
The Trio immediately started chowing down on the sandwiches.
"Yeah, yeah. You're welcome." Casper mumbled. "So, anyway, as I'm sure you're aware, my internship ends today and I still don't know the first thing about scaring. Maybe now would be the perfect time for me to learn something? Hint, hint."
Stretch didn't hear Casper's request, however, as he was too preoccupied with how odd his sandwich tasted. He opened it up and became furious at what he saw.
"Are these…green olives?!"
"Um…I guess so…"
Stretch threw the sandwich on the ground. "You incompetent excuse for an apparition! I hate green olives! I wanted black ones!"
Stinkie spat out his own sandwich. "Yeah, and mine was supposed to have dijon mustard!"
"And I wanted a hot dog!" Fatso insisted.
"But…but you never told me any of that!" Casper claimed.
The Trio suddenly grew larger and scarier and they towered over Casper menacingly.
"YOU'RE THE WORST INTERN WE'VE EVER HAD!" Stretch bellowed.
"YOU'RE THE WORST NEPHEW IN HISTORY!" Stinkie hollered.
"YOU'RE THE WORST CHEF OF ALL TIME! EVEN WORSE THAN JAMIE OLIVER!" Fatso screamed.
"I-I'm sorry!" Casper shuddered. "I tried my best!"
"SHUT UP!' the Trio roared, sending Casper hurling into a stack of boxes. They then returned to normal.
"I think some punishment is in order." Stretch stated. He grabbed Casper and molded him into a piñata shape.
"Fatso? Bring out…the stick…"
Fatso held up a long stick meant for hitting piñatas and slammed it repeatedly against his palm in a threatening way. Stretch attached Casper to the ceiling and took the bat from Fatso.
"Batter up!"
However, before he could take a swing, he was stopped by the sound of a watch beeping.
Casper morphed back to his normal form and checked his watch.
"Oh my gosh! It's almost time for my internship review!"
"Review? What review?" Stretch questioned.
"It's part of the program." Casper informed him. "At the end of the week, the Ghost Council interviews the intern, and the intern tells them everything they've learned in front of the Chairman. But if they didn't learn anything, well…"
"Ooh, let me guess." Stretch teased. "It's straight to the Flow of Failed Phantoms for 'em, right?"
"Yikes, tough break, bulbhead." Stinkie chortled. "But don't feel too bad. It's where ya woulda ended up anyway."
"Oh. Actually, I won't be sent there if I fail." Casper explained. "You guys will."
The Trio froze with terror.
"WHAT?!"
"What the heck are ya talkin' about?" Stretch panicked.
"Remember that application you filled out at the beginning? There's a fine print at the bottom that says that all mentors will be held accountable if their intern fails to meet the program's expectations. That basically means if I fail, the Ghost Council will blame you."
Stinkie grabbed Casper by the shoulders and shook him. "Why didn't ya tell us that in the first place?!"
"I tried to! But you wouldn't let me!"
"Okay, okay! Calm down!" Stretch hyperventilated. "I'm sure we can do some last-minute scarin' before the review! How much more time do we got?
Casper was about to check his watch again when a portal to the Ghost World opened up.
"About 0.05 seconds."
"NOOOOO!" the Trio wailed as they were forcefully pulled into the portal with Casper.
At that moment, Weird Larry came back into the main room, wheeling in something covered by a curtain. Molly set down the pile of junk she was currently holding and went up to him.
"Um...Larry? Listen, I don't think I can do this anymore." she picked up an eyeball attached to a spring that was laying on the floor and put it into a jar with other eyeballs. "My mission is to enhappify Brighton. And no offense, but your shop is where happy memories go to die. We're like orange juice mixed with toothpaste. We're not compatible at all. I'm sorry, but I just don't think this is gonna work out. I'll tell Mrs. Roop that she can go ahead and fail me…"
Molly sadly walked toward the front door, but before she could leave, Larry blocked her off.
"Hold on, Molly. You're looking at this all wrong! My shop isn't where happy memories die! It's where happy memories…are reborn!"
He led Molly toward the cart holding the curtain-concealed object and removed the curtain. Sitting atop the cart was what appeared to be a mechanical dragon with a tail made out of an old Christmas tree, garden-rake-hands, and umbrella wings.
"Whoa…" Molly was mesmerized. "Is this your top secret project?"
"One of 'em." Larry pulled out a remote with a singular button. "And remember that voice box from that robot toy? Listen to it now!"
He pressed the button and the dragon opened its mouth.
"Roar!"
"That's incredible!" Molly cried. "You took a ton of old junk and created joy!"
"You bet!" Larry put a colander on her head and handed her a broom. "What are you waiting for, dragon slayer? You…are…up!"
The odd store owner inserted a coin into the dragon's chest and it started up. Wielding her broom, Molly prepared to attack.
"Yah!"
Meanwhile, in the Ghost World, the Ghost Council was meeting with Casper and the Trio for their performance review. The Chairman was there too, looking as frightening as ever, which only made the Trio more nervous.
"Go ahead, Casper." J. Edgar Boover began. "Tell us what the Trio taught you this week."
"And don't spare any details." Ms. Stifflips added.
"Oh, Casper learned a whole lot!" Stretch butted in. "We taught 'im the ups and downs, lefts and rights, and all the other directions of bein' a real ghost and how to terrify fleshies!"
"Yeah, he's practically an expert now!" Stinkie agreed. "If you asked 'im to demonstrate any scare, he could do it easy!"
"Just don't ask him to do it now." Fatso suggested. "He doesn't perform well with an audience."
"Excuse me, boys." Ms. Banshee lectured. "But I believe we asked Casper to tell us what he learned, not you. SO BACK OOOOOOFFF! Ahem. Go on, Casper. What did your uncles teach you?"
Casper came forward. "Um…well…my uncles didn't teach me anything."
The Ghost Council looked on at the Trio with disappointment. The Chairman raised his finger and the Flow of Failed Phantoms came down.
"No!" Stretch pleaded as he and his brothers were sucked in. "Give us another week! We haven't even scratched the surface of our curriculum!"
"Wait!" Casper intervened. "Let me finish! What I was going to say is…my uncles didn't teach me anything…they taught me everything!"
"Is that so?" Ms. Banshee raised an eyebrow in skepticism.
The Flow disappeared, releasing the Trio from its pull. Casper came over to help them up.
"Well, yeah! I didn't understand their methods at first, since all they had me do this week was wait on them and bring them food. But now I realize that was just their way of teaching me patience, perseverance, and how to keep a cool head under pressure. They also yelled at me a lot, which in turn…"
Casper suddenly grew large and put on a terrifying face.
"…TAUGH ME HOW TO BE SCARY!"
When Casper spoke, a stench cloud came out of his mouth and covered the Ghost Council.
"Ooh, is zat…" Professor Frankenstein sniffed. "Skunk?"
Casper shrunk down to his normal size. "Yep! I've been holding it in for days. You can thank Uncle Stinkie for that one."
"Aw, ain't he a chip off the old ectoplasm?" Stinkie praised.
"Uh, yeah, that's right!" Stretch wrapped an arm around his nephew. "We totally taught 'em all that stuff!"
"Yeah! We're the best teachers in the whole Ghost World!" Fatso exclaimed, before noticing Ms. Banshee glaring at him. "Er…second-best. No one could take your title, Ms. B."
"Well, I must say Casper, we're very impressed." J. Edgar Boover went on.
"Ja," Professor Frankenstein nodded. "Which is why we are going to promote you to…Manager of Scares for ze Midwest Division!"
The Trio's jaws dropped.
"Wait, really?" Casper beamed. "Gosh, that's such a big title! I don't know what to say!"
"Well? Do you accept?" Ms. Stifflips asked.
"Are you kidding? Of course I do!" Casper saluted. "I promise I won't let you down!"
Ms. Banshee grinned. "Oh, you better not."
"Whoa, whoa, not so fast!" Stretch argued. "We're the ones who got the kid to where he is today! We should be the ones gettin' promoted, not him!"
"Yeah, without us, he'd still be at the bottom of the rung!" Stinkie pointed out.
"Worker's comp! Worker's comp!" Fatso protested.
"Perhaps you didn't read the other fine print on the application you signed."
J. Edgar Boover presented the contract and Stretch read the last line.
"'All mentors are considered volunteers in this program and therefore will not be compensated for work performed, no matter how exemplary.'"
"Wait, so we get punished for a bad job, but we don't get rewarded for a good one?" Stinkie clarified. "What sense does that make?"
"Even in the Ghost World, teachers get the short end of the stick." Fatso complained.
"Well, since I'm the manager now, I guess that makes me your boss." Casper told the Trio smugly. "And as your boss, I would like a sandwich!"
"Ha!" Stretch snorted. "Yeah, right! Ya think we care about rankin' around here? You could be the Queen of England and we still wouldn't have to do what you say!"
Casper gestured toward the Chairman, who gave the Trio a threatening stare.
"…So would ya like green olives or black?" Stretch grumbled.
Back at the pawn shop, Larry was giving Molly instructions on how to defeat the mechanical dragon he had created.
"Aim for the belly of the beast! It's the key that unlocks everything!"
Molly did a somersault toward the dragon and stuck the end of her broom into the padlock on its stomach, obviously meant to be the creature's heart. The monster let out one more roar and then fell apart, leaving behind a shiny, somewhat rusted crown.
"Woohoo!" Molly cheered. "I did it!"
"Congratulations!" Larry placed the crown atop Molly's head. "I declare you Brighton's best dragon slayer! And a pretty good intern, too."
"Larry, that was so awesome! You're a genius!" Molly dug through the dragon's remains. "You should totally share your creations with the world! Think of all the people you could enhappify!"
"Oh no, Molly." Larry insisted. "I'll leave enhappifying the world to you. Me? I prefer to do my enhappifying one person at a time. I'm kinda weird that way."
Molly smiled warmly at this comment. Just then, the shop door opened and Mrs. Roop came in with a folder that had the words "Internship Report" on the cover.
"Okay, Miss McGee. Time for your evaluation. Tell me; what have you learned from your internship?"
Molly got in her face. "Uh…so much! I learned that running a pawn shop is like slaying a dragon! But it takes way more than a sword. It takes an open mind to slay the beast that is ignorant and-"
"D-minus?!" Molly whined outside the shop after Mrs. Roop had given her her grade. "What kind of point system is she using here?"
Larry tried to comfort her. "Hey, for what it's worth, if I was the one grading you, you woulda gotten an A-plus. And at least you learned something today, right?"
Molly grinned a little. "Yeah, I did. I learned that anything, and anyone for that matter, has the potential to enhappify. And that you can always find rainbows even in the stormiest, dreariest places. Thanks for teaching me that, Larry."
"Anything for the intern of the year."
Larry winked at her and then headed back inside. Molly stared at her poor grade and sighed.
"Well, hopefully the Trio's internship turned out better than mine."
As if on cue, a portal opened up and Casper and the Trio came out.
"Hey, Molly!"
"Casper! How'd the review go? Everything turn out okay?"
"Oh, they turned out better than that." the round-headed ghost summoned a clipboard and snapped his fingers. "Oh, uncles?"
"What do ya want, bulbhead?" Stretch grumped.
"Ahem! That's Mr. Bulbhead to you!" Casper corrected him. "And I've been looking through your scare records and I must say, I'm very disappointed. I'd like to see you pivot that into an upper trend soon. In the meantime, I could go for an iced decaf 10-pump caramel mocha latte. Not a frappe, though! There's a difference."
"I thought you didn't drink coffee?" Stinkie recalled.
"That was before I was granted this higher-level position. And ghosts in high-level positions always drink coffee." Casper snapped his fingers again. "Go on, I'm waiting!"
Molly snickered. "Well, what do you know? He ended up being your boss after all."
"Yeah, yeah. Just drop it already." Stretch growled.
"This is what we get for adhering to reader demand." Fatso complained.
Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee!
All joking aside, I did enjoy incorporating Casper into this and I had planned on it from the beginning after rewatching this episode. So, I bet now you all are wondering if Casper will make any more appearances. Well, since this was Reggie's only major role in the show's run, I have to say: probably not. But, who knows? Maybe I'll come up with a subplot that includes him for another episode OR write an original story based on a request, the latter of which I plan to do for Season 3 (Yes, I know the show only ran for two seasons, but as mentioned before, there are scripts online for unreleased Season 3 episodes that I plan on tackling). As for now though, this is all you get. Hopefully, some of you are satisfied, but if not, there's not much I can do. As Stretch pointed out in this chapter, this story is not about Casper, so therefore, I shouldn't be expected to put him in if I don't want to.
Also, I have nothing against Jamie Oliver, I don't know anything about the guy. I literally just googled "worst chef ever" and his name came up. And yes I did make a reference to a song with a controversial music video made by a controversial artist. I admittedly kinda like it. I know it's stupid and vulgar, but every time I hear it, I find myself singing along. I can't help what I like. And I like a lot of weird things.
...Okay, bye!